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7 Days (NZ) Season 18 Episode 2
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FunTranscript
00:23Welcome to 7 Days, the show where we look back at the news
00:26of the week and laugh in its topical face. I'm your host Jeremy Corbett, as per, and
00:30I've spent the week scouring the clubs to find six newshound comedians worthy of your
00:35attention. Let's meet them, shall we? The leader of Team 1 has the energy of the fifth
00:39wiggle. Was kicked out of the band for being a little too wiggly. It's Chris Parker.
00:46I have an amazing team this week, Jeremy. I'm really excited. Between the three of us,
00:50we've got two performing arts degrees, one visual arts degree, and I also think between
00:54the three of us, not one of us could name an all black. You have Johanna Cosgrove and Emma
00:59Holland.
01:05And over leading Team 2 is the Captain Jack Sparrow you ordered from Timu. It's Ben Hurley.
01:13I've got a great team on Team 2 tonight, because I have the two most recent Billy T Award winners.
01:19That's right. An award that I won in 1964. It's Wane Hotene and Lana Walter.
01:30Yeah, didn't have awards in my day, didn't need them. Thanks for the crowd was enough.
01:34Our first game up tonight is a new one. Sorry, I mean, a news one. It is Newsmakers, where
01:39I show the teams a clip. They have to tell me which riveting news story it is from. And
01:42Team 1, we begin with you.
01:43I thought about it, and I thought, you know, surely we've all had our moments of, at some
01:47point or another, thinking, that's it. I'm going to quit.
01:50This is me to Les Mills every single week.
01:53OK, so this is the news. They're talking about quitting. Oh, this about the police. They
02:03don't want to be cops anymore. They want to be robbers.
02:11Yeah, you're on the money there, Chris. 57% of New Zealand police officers have considered
02:15quitting in the last year. That's according to a survey of 6,000 of our police. Strain
02:20on the job and insufficient pay were the leading causes for wanting to leave. 57%. I mean, that
02:26seems low. I mean, at any given time, aren't 99% of us thinking of quitting our jobs? You
02:30know? Not me, obviously. They'll be wheeling me to the grave on this chair. I'll be sticking
02:37to blame them in a way. Like, you're underpaid. You know, no one's respecting you and your
02:41job. You could see why you'd look towards greener pastures like nursing or teaching.
02:48If there's not enough cops, like, do you think they'll be calling out, put your hands up
02:52and come out. We've got you partially surrounded. It's about four of us.
02:58Imagine calling 111 and you've got to sit through two hours of Bic Runga before they pick
03:02up. It will be one cop by the end. It's like, yeah, if it's an emergency, just text
03:07Mark. He's 027-629. I think if you want to keep them, they should have three free tasers
03:15a month just to get the power going. I like that idea. Just no questions asked.
03:20Honestly, and I'll sign up because I do think I would enjoy it. I reckon they'll come back.
03:25The cops? I reckon they'll come back. If they quit, it'll only take one thing. They'll walk
03:29past a hen do on a night out and not, they won't want to get a photo with them in
03:34their
03:34handcuffs. And they'll be like, I missed the force.
03:41Well, I just don't think that police, like, I don't think kids grow up to be policemen,
03:46you know, that's not like their dream. So, like, even sometimes if a cop's trying to pull
03:49me over, I'll, like, keep driving. And then when they finally get me, they'll be like,
03:53why did you make me chase you so long? I'll just say, didn't it feel good to chase something?
03:58Yeah. Remember when you did that with your dreams?
04:02I can't imagine what would be your first crime that you would commit. Would that be it?
04:07Crimes of fashion. Crimes of fashion. Or sodomy.
04:15I think no one's okay now. Is it okay? Yeah.
04:18This is going to be tough, though, isn't it? I mean, if the cops quit, who's going to fly
04:21the helicopter over West Auckland at 3am in the morning?
04:25People are going to miss that. You have no idea what that is in Epsom, mate.
04:30I know where West Auckland is. Dragons be there.
04:37Alright, over to you, team two. Have a look at this news clip. Tell me what it's all about.
04:41And suddenly it was like, oh, you know, yeah, the sales went up and everyone's getting into it.
04:45Oh, jeez, it's rural, Corbett.
04:51It sounds like a guy who's, like, just watched, like, uh, the America's Cup for the first time
04:57and doesn't know how to explain it. You know, like, oh, sales went up and people just go crazy out
05:01there.
05:03Yeah. So, is it something about a boom in the rural sector? Is that the story?
05:10Cows.
05:10Yeah, cows. We think, um, cows are up.
05:17I always think you're better than that, Ben, but maybe not.
05:21No, Aotearoa is currently going through a bit of a gold rush. That's what it's all about.
05:25An increase in gold's prices led to an influx of prospectors heading to our shores.
05:30In the last year, there have been over 500 permits granted for gold mining throughout the country.
05:34This has got to be great news for Westport. A thing.
05:40So, this is, um, this is the state of the New Zealand economy.
05:44The government said, hey, have you tried looking for money in the ground?
05:51And then they'll be like, and we put it there.
05:54It wasn't Labour who put it there. We put it there.
05:59Do you think I could get child Labour?
06:01Like, my kids are already playing in a sandpit.
06:03Like, could I just get them in the river?
06:06I'd be like, mummy, we're hungry.
06:07I'd be like, you get chicken nuggets when you find nuggets, babe.
06:11Wait, have you ever seen pure gold?
06:14No.
06:14Okay, so if you go onto YouTube, um, there's a video online of Ryan Seacrest trying to high-five a
06:20blind guy on American Idol in 2008.
06:22Yes.
06:23That's pure gold.
06:28It's kind of, I think it's like, because there was the gold, an original gold rush in the 1800s.
06:32I think now they have the technology to go through all the tailings, if you like, and extract the little
06:37bits of gold that were left over.
06:39So I think that's what it's all about.
06:40The technology's improved so they can actually get gold out of what was left over.
06:44Like picking sultanas out of muesli.
06:45You got it?
06:47I, the other day, found a hokey-pokey in my bra, so I get the thrill of it.
06:52I definitely was like, is there more?
06:54Yeah.
06:55We've got to get our gold some way, because we're not getting it at the Winter Olympics, are we?
06:59Ooh.
07:00Not we are.
07:01Hey.
07:07All right, enjoy that round.
07:09I'm going to dish out some points now for you to gobble up.
07:11Team 1, you're going to have 10 in Roman numerals, that is X, also the name of the social media
07:16platform the New Zealand Parliament will no longer be posting on due to the fact it's a raging dumpster fire.
07:22Team 2, you're going to have 5, that is the number of goals Auckland FC scored against the Wellington Phoenix,
07:26a zero on the weekend.
07:27Well, I guess the Phoenix did theoretically score one.
07:30Anyway, it prompted Wellington coach Giancarlo Italiano to quit, that being his sixth straight derby loss.
07:3610 beats 5, Team 1 gets the star.
07:38Come on, team 1.
07:44Oh, stars are cool and all, and who wouldn't want them?
07:47But I'd like to give the team who gets the most points at the end of the night something tangible
07:50to take home, store away in their garage to forget about until their next move house.
07:55This week, the winning team will get their very own homemade taser.
07:59Check it out.
08:00Wow.
08:01With half the police off the streets, they'll still be protected, while the losing team will be completely unarmed and
08:06open to attack.
08:08Perfect for stopping intruders, pranking your mates, or cooking a steak really quickly.
08:12Or if the mood strikes, use it on yourself.
08:16There's a lot to play for tonight.
08:17Alright, time now for Guest Who, where we get a star of the week in news with a beautiful face,
08:21then hide that face in an ugly Hessian sack.
08:24Then we bombard them with questions until the teams uncover their identity.
08:28Please clap lots and welcome our Guest Who guest.
08:37Keep going like that, and three, two, one, about there.
08:41How's that?
08:42Good.
08:43Alright, Guest, your job is to answer a yes or no to the questions posed to you by the team.
08:48You get a no, it goes to the other team.
08:50Team 1, you can start.
08:51I'm judging by the Hessian sack, are you the person I patched at Splore on the weekend?
08:56Oh!
08:57No.
08:58Oh.
08:59Uncertain though, maybe.
09:01Uh, did you hang a photo of Prince Andrew in the Louvre?
09:07No.
09:08That's a no, team 1.
09:10Let's just sort of get one on the board, maybe.
09:13Do you do sport?
09:15No.
09:16No?
09:17Actually, thank God.
09:18It's not what the story's about.
09:20Are you from the South Island?
09:22Yes.
09:22Yes.
09:24It's a South Island no.
09:26Did you just get a bunch of gold?
09:29No.
09:29And it's a no?
09:31Are you from Christchurch?
09:32No.
09:33Mmm.
09:34Maybe in the rural sector?
09:36Because it's South Island and chances are.
09:40Okay.
09:41Okay.
09:41Do you work in the rural sector of New Zealand?
09:46Not really.
09:47It's not, no, that's not the, that's not going to help you.
09:49Can we have another go then?
09:50No.
09:52Are you in any way related to the music industry?
09:56Yes.
09:56Oh, yes.
09:57Yeah, that's a yes.
09:59Do you work in media, the woke liberal media?
10:05Yes.
10:07Are you, do you host, do you host a radio show?
10:11Yes.
10:11Yes.
10:12Okay.
10:12So that, that might have been the platform for the success of the world.
10:16Oh.
10:17Okay, okay.
10:17Uh, did something that you did on your radio station go viral?
10:22Yes.
10:22Yes.
10:23Oh.
10:23Did you talk to someone famous and that went viral?
10:28That's a no, that's a no.
10:29Okay, that's not there.
10:30You're doing really well.
10:30I think I've got this.
10:31Okay, great.
10:31Okay, good.
10:32Okay, so South Island, music industry, radio.
10:36I just want to get an easy win.
10:38Country?
10:39Do you know all the words to wagon wheel?
10:44Unfortunately, yes.
10:45Yeah, that's a yes.
10:46That's our final answer.
10:48No, that's not.
10:48I need more.
10:49Um, are you, when you say South Island, are you like the best?
10:53The bottom, bottom of the South Island?
10:56Oh, can you be more specific with that question, please?
10:59No.
11:01South Island, South Island.
11:02Is she the top and or only radio show on South Island?
11:07Yes.
11:08No.
11:09No, you can't.
11:11I don't think you're good.
11:12That's a no, so yes.
11:13South Island radio.
11:15Did something, got some traction, led to a bit of a success that will live with New Zealand
11:20for all time.
11:20Oh.
11:21I have an inkling, but could it be?
11:23Did it have to do with one of the great, like, landmarks of South Island?
11:28Yes.
11:28Okay.
11:28Is it, is it in gore that, what is that, trout, fish?
11:33What about it?
11:34Yes.
11:35Did you name the trout in gore?
11:38We named that trout.
11:39Yes.
11:41Yes.
11:43Yes.
11:43Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
11:45Allow me to introduce Chitty from Hokanui FM in South Island.
11:48Hello.
11:49And you did, there was a vote that was taken and you've named the trout.
11:55Trevor.
11:56Trevor.
11:56Named after every second man in South Island.
11:59And what's even better is, you actually started this idea.
12:02Yes.
12:03So, driving to work every day at 3.30 in the morning by myself, there's not that many people
12:08to talk to in gore.
12:09No.
12:09So, I started talking to the trout.
12:12And then, and then it didn't talk back and I was like, rude.
12:16And then I thought, do you know what?
12:17It's because I don't know its name.
12:19So, I went to the local gore district council and I said, hey, does the trout have a name?
12:24And they said, no.
12:25And I said, I reckon we should name that trout.
12:27So, we did a wee bit of research and it turned out back in 1989, the local gore host lines
12:34club was celebrating one of their anniversaries.
12:36Wow.
12:37So, they had to raise $60,000, which late 80s, after the demise of everything, that was
12:45quite a task.
12:46They ended up raising $139,000.
12:51So, actually, a local fisherman caught the brown trout, put it in his freezer, sculpted
12:57it up, made it look like it was jumping out of the water.
13:01Then, a local artist did his thing.
13:04Like, how much did they fundraise for it?
13:06$60,000.
13:06And then, they ended up with?
13:08$139,000.
13:08So, it started about that big and then that one.
13:12Well, no, the fish is that big, mate.
13:14It wouldn't be a hard sell to the council.
13:16You've just got that young mare down there, haven't you?
13:17Oh, Ben Bell.
13:18Ben Slaughter.
13:19He'd be right on board with this, wouldn't he?
13:20Well, he lives at the fish, so he was a bit like, oh, man.
13:22What do you mean he lives at the fish?
13:23He lives in the fish.
13:24Well, let's remember.
13:25Climbs up into his mouth every night.
13:26That's the council building.
13:27Yeah.
13:29Do you remember some of the other word names that were suggested?
13:32Trouty McTroutface, no doubt.
13:33That always happens.
13:34So, we put it out to, we cast the net far and wide.
13:38You hook it in.
13:39Well, it's fly fishing show.
13:42So, we've then got a top five finalist from the names submitted.
13:47Trixie, Trevor, Gordon, Scout and Finn.
13:52Trixie sounds like the trout's about to take its clothes off.
13:56Well, it's on a pole.
13:59Well, the trout finally has a name and that is Trevor
14:02and that's thanks to Chitty.
14:03Thank you, Chitty, for coming.
14:06And keep that applause going for Tim Martin.
14:08They win the star.
14:09Well done.
14:11Yes, yes.
14:12All right.
14:12Time now for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill,
14:15where the teams grill their brains to get points.
14:16New at home, grill your brain to earn Burger Fuel burgers.
14:20Now, all our Burger Fuel Brain Grills this week
14:22are from the news of 1962.
14:24A year picked at random.
14:26That is definitely not the year I was born.
14:29Ooh!
14:30Team One, your turn first.
14:32Have a look at what's going on in this clip from 1962.
14:34Almost everyone carries a camera.
14:36And for thirsty travellers, the ship boasts a lounge bar.
14:39Comfortable chairs in the observation
14:41lounge encourage passengers to doze the time away.
14:44Great narration.
14:45How nice to have your first experience in the Kuru Lounge.
14:52What's crazy is that the Inter-Islander have not changed the decor at all.
14:56It looks exactly the same.
14:58I do think we can still smoke on that pipe here, are we?
15:00You're pretty much on to it.
15:011962 marked the launch of the country's first roll-on, roll-off ferry service
15:05between Wellington and Picton.
15:06That boat was called the Aramawana.
15:08Before that, travellers had to swim across Cook straight in their cars.
15:13Team Two, you're going to get a turn next break.
15:15And stay tuned, because you, you'll get a chance to win later in the show.
15:18Thanks again to Burger Fuel.
15:19The best thing to happen to burgers since they were invented by the Earl of Burger in 1962.
15:24Break time now.
15:25We'll be back momentarily with Club Topicano on Seven Days.
15:28Chilling!
15:37Aloha, and welcome back.
15:40The sun is setting, it's getting chilly.
15:42It's the perfect time to whip off your jeans and head to the beach for Club Topicana.
15:46Play those steel drums.
15:49Woo!
15:50Woo!
15:52Woo!
15:53Woo!
15:58Club Topicana is brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
16:01Now, let me tell you, we've been doing Club Topicana probably for about 100 episodes,
16:05and every time I get sort of pineapple juice all over my desk.
16:08Only today, someone has solved that problem with a bowl.
16:11Wow.
16:13Yes, pineapple, Apple's flamboyant gay cousin.
16:16Inside these juicy scales lie copious amounts of vitamin C
16:19and a collection of intriguing news stories I've taken note of throughout the week.
16:23Let's see what made the cut.
16:25I snuck this one in after actually seeing Chitty from Hakanui FM Southland before.
16:29I love me and my radio, but I can't pick her station up from Auckland,
16:32so give me some examples of things overheard on Radio Hakanui FM Southland.
16:39OK, OK, we'll take calls on this.
16:41Call them now and tell us how you found out you were related to your wife.
16:53Hello?
16:54Are there any other survivors out there?
16:57I'm out of food and water, please.
17:03Yeah, bloody, yeah, yeah, bloody good, isn't it?
17:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:05Oh, I tell you what, I don't know, yeah, yeah.
17:07I was up there, but I had a bit of a fence fell down.
17:11And, anyway, yeah, so I went to a bloody town.
17:14Yeah, it was a bloody guy on a cell phone, bloody yuppie.
17:17And, yeah, yeah.
17:18So, yeah, we went back and put the fence back up.
17:21And, yeah, yeah, Hotel California.
17:30Bringing you all the hits from the 1870s, 1880s, 1890s and early 1900s.
17:37OK, here's some Gregorian chanting.
17:48I'm just kidding.
17:55I scared ya.
17:56I scared ya.
17:58English as an official language.
18:00English as an official language.
18:04All right.
18:05Oh, yes, OK.
18:07This week, the central tower of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona
18:10was completed after being in construction for 144 years.
18:15Most people who built it probably did by now.
18:18But what if they're not?
18:19I'd like to see some examples of incredibly old builders, please.
18:25Oh, this is going to be a great centre when it's finished.
18:29Now, where did I put my blowtorch?
18:39I wasn't whistling at the girls walking past.
18:42I just, I just wish when I talk.
18:52Uh, previous work?
18:54Uh, yeah, I built this tower in Italy.
19:06Yeah, guys, um, old Gaz won't be in today.
19:09He's gone to take the long smoko in the sky.
19:13Um, so I'd like us all to pour out our monster energies.
19:16Um, and we're going to do a five-nail gun salute.
19:25Oh, you need a carpenter.
19:26I used to work with a really good one.
19:27Let me just get in touch with him.
19:35All right, we move on.
19:36Back to the pineapple.
19:38Uh, if I can grab the card.
19:40There we go.
19:40Uh, oh, yes, OK.
19:41The town of Devon in England has voted to turn off its streetlights at night.
19:45Why?
19:45I actually don't know.
19:46But what I do know is that I want to see some examples of what life will be like for
19:50the Devonites.
19:51Give me some examples of living in the dark.
19:56Well, I just needed to go when no one would recognize me.
20:01My name?
20:02Well, I just go by Andrew now.
20:12Please be a banana.
20:14Oh, no, please be a banana.
20:15Oh, no, no, please be a banana.
20:15Oh, no, no, please be a banana.
20:16Oh, no, please.
20:18Oh, sorry, Stuart, not again.
20:23How tall's Stuart?
20:29Here comes the...
20:31Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
20:33Here comes the...
20:35And I say...
20:36It's all right.
20:38Doo-doo-doo-doo.
20:44Mum, I've been practicing my tap dancing.
20:47Show you.
20:49I'll show you.
20:56OK.
21:01Sharon, I don't know how much longer I can take this, OK?
21:04I've eaten 60 carrots in the last 24 hours, and all that's happened is jack shit, and I'm blocked up
21:10to here.
21:16Oh, if we're heading to the bedroom, let me just slip on my night vision goggles.
21:24I thought you said you were 6'4".
21:27That ain't Stuart.
21:29All right, next story.
21:31The trailer for the new Star Wars movie has dropped, as many of you will know, you nerds particularly.
21:34It must be hard squishing a 90-minute movie just down to 90 seconds, so I'd like to see some
21:39examples of deleted lines from movie trailers.
21:45Christopher Nolan...
21:47..is back with a film that will have you saying,
21:50Did you get it?
21:57If only she had cooked him those eggs.
22:07Oh, I was a very different Iron Man.
22:17In a world where laughter is king,
22:21one evil, deformed, old tyrant presides over six beautiful, talented, funny people.
22:31Week after week after week.
22:35He'll never go.
22:37Join us this summer for seven days, the movie.
22:43Great to celebrate Ben's last show.
22:47All right, that's it.
22:48I'm closing the beach.
22:49You can rinse out your floaties and deflate your togs.
22:52It's over.
22:52Play the steel drums.
23:04Very good, uh, top-a-carnering teams.
23:06Time for some points.
23:07Uh, you can have, uh, one team one.
23:09That is the number of pictures of ex-Prince Andrew getting arrested that were hung in the Louvre by activists
23:14this week.
23:15You know the picture.
23:16That one, yeah.
23:17We've all got one, eh?
23:18We've all got one.
23:19Oh, very real.
23:20Uh, so you get one.
23:21Uh, you can have 50 team two.
23:23That is the year since mankind walked on the moon.
23:25And that should change in 2028 when Artemis three touches down.
23:29Oh, I love it.
23:30All right, means the star goes to team two.
23:32Finally.
23:36All right, uh, I need to lather myself, uh, with Arlo for the sunburn and the rugburn.
23:41So, avert your eyes for a few minutes.
23:42We'll be back with a cracking game of Slice of Seven on seven days.
23:45We'll be back with you.
24:15All right, team one, you are first up.
24:18You ready to decipher the news story Muraki's singing about?
24:21I'm ready to identify.
24:22Muraki, when you are ready.
24:30Toes underneath, coaches are up in flames.
24:39It's f***ing freezing.
24:43Dentists play drinking games.
24:47I can't believe I paid for this.
24:51My tour bus stinks of piss.
24:55I think 660 are to blame.
25:09First of all, very cool.
25:11Maybe the coolest person.
25:12I'm a musician as well.
25:14I played the clarinet at high school.
25:17I'm hearing a lot of Dunedin burning couches.
25:20Yeah, yeah.
25:22On the piss.
25:23On the piss.
25:24On the piss.
25:25They're hating it.
25:26You got it, yeah.
25:27Yeah, let's go.
25:28On the piss.
25:29On the piss.
25:31Yeah.
25:32Yeah.
25:32Are the students, like, I mean, what's going on?
25:35They just, they've given up.
25:36They don't want to study anymore.
25:37The world's burning.
25:38They're just like, f*** it.
25:39Let's.
25:40I think I might actually know this.
25:42God forbid a woman's informed.
25:46I've heard that there's tours going on in Dunedin of people taking, like, international tourists
25:53down student streets to, like, see them in their natural habitat.
25:59ESM all the way from Australia.
26:01You are correct.
26:02If you are heading to Dunedin in the near future, you can now book yourself a tour of
26:06Castle Street, the iconic centre of student life in the university city, home of the flat
26:11660 Formedon, also the site of a few couch fires.
26:16This is all so bleak, isn't it?
26:18Can you imagine catching a bus?
26:22What annoys me about the whole thing about Dunedin is most of the students there have come
26:27from wealthy Auckland homes.
26:29Yes.
26:30And they go down there and go, oh, isn't it fun to pretend to be poor?
26:35Oh, it's so cute.
26:37And then they go back to Epsom.
26:39Yeah.
26:40I am actually a student at the moment at Auckland Uni, yes.
26:45I'm a mature student, which is the coolest kind.
26:50And I found out this week that my main lecturer, Brian, is a big fan of the show.
26:54So if you're watching Brian, my assignment will be late.
27:00Maybe this is like some sort of reverse psychology.
27:03Like, so they're putting the bus around, they're knocking on the door saying, hey, the bus is
27:08coming in 10 minutes, can you get out there and do some vomiting and stuff?
27:12And they're like, I just don't want to do it anymore.
27:14I just want to have a night at home sober.
27:17Come on, come on, get out there and get drunk.
27:18And it's like the zoo when they start drugging them, like start drugging the students.
27:21I'll give you a couple of nangs.
27:24I'm that crazy.
27:26Like the zoo, you've got to get there at certain hours.
27:28Like, if you don't get there by 10, you miss the Walk of Shane.
27:32They have feeding time, though.
27:33They have feeding time tours around dinner.
27:34That's 2am at the kebab shop.
27:38Are you ready for another song, Moraki?
27:40OK, tell us what Moraki is singing about.
27:42Take it away.
27:50Had a wine, thought that it was juice.
27:57Now I'm on TV slurring, I'm more pissed than a moose.
28:03I really want to tell you all about the ice skating, but my brain is drunk.
28:09I'm making snow angels and I watch them ski, but my vision is blurry.
28:14Let's all sing, sweet Caroline.
28:19Trollied on the Aussie news.
28:24Too much booze at altitude.
28:30Ethics jumping to the sky, so cool.
28:33I'm not drunk, I'm up too high.
28:35Is this going out life?
28:38Don't drink wine out of ski boots.
28:52like a cool breeze wafting up your shorts or something nicer yeah I think I know what this
29:01is lots of stuff about getting drunk on a mountain yeah I heard getting drunk Australian
29:09yeah look another crowning achievement for our West Islanders they had a reporter from the Winter
29:18Olympics in Milano and I like how you moved your eyebrow when you said that that's Spanish I don't know
29:33and she as the French say it was a real trip around Europe wasn't it Australian Channel 9 reporter
29:49Danica Mason went viral this week after she slurred her speech during a live Winter Olympics cross
29:53she did later apologize admitting she had had a drink and just misjudged the effects at high
29:58altitude it got so bad at one point she actually tripped over slid down a hill and picked up bronze
30:03in the woman's loop not a complete loss I watched this and I loved she delivered the news like she
30:09was gossiping in the women's bathroom she was like babe you won't believe who won the snowboarding
30:16the giveaway was when she signed off and went uh and that was whatever her name is Channel 9
30:21so where are we going and did you know the Kiwis actually supported us in this I heard they all
30:28boycotted the medal ceremonies and that's brotherhood that's the Anzac story
30:36yes are you gonna blame the altitude for your behavior at the seven days wrap party
30:42not the altitude the the attitude I don't know how you can claim the altitude at rock bottom but go
30:48off
30:51what picking on me all of a sudden suddenly I'm getting hammered
30:57all right Muraki is touring up and down the nation throughout March check out his new album
31:02amber skies on all the places uh go to muraki music.com for all the details and please give it
31:08up one more time for
31:08Muraki
31:12all righty points points points points I'll give you some points uh team one you can have two the number
31:17of
31:17BAFTAs won by Kiwis this week congratulations uh Weta uh FX and costume designer Kate Hawley
31:23and team two you can have one the number of n words yelled out at those same BAFTAs which means
31:28team one beats team two and gets the start well done
31:34I got a hunger for another burger fuel brain grill this time it's yours team two you'll be guessing
31:39what ancient 1962 news story the clip I provide you is from have a look at this
31:44uh I was almost terrified at the pace of it actually it was uh far too fast far faster than
31:49I really wanted to do
31:51um okay is this the is this the turtle after the turtle and rabbit race
31:58I think I know you know what it is yeah yeah this is uh Peter Snell winning the um
32:03uh you may not have picked up what Ben said just there but he's had a few uh that was
32:10uh Kiwi athlete
32:10Peter Snell yes who went who ran one of the greatest track performances of all time in Christchurch
32:14back in 62 a world record 800 meters on a rain sodden grass track one minute 44 seconds try that
32:21next
32:21time you're on the treadmill at the gym gym he's a he's a total legend all right remember you at
32:25home have a
32:26chance to be a legend like Peter Snell later in the show with a brain grill of your very own
32:29so
32:29stick around for that and also because we have a very special game after the break it is Jeremy's
32:34special game told you see you soon
32:47welcome back to seven days Rachel and everyone else watching did that freak you out Rachel I hope it did
32:54all right now time now for my favorite part of the show it's Jeremy's special game this week's special
32:59game is charade the news in this game one team member will be given a category based on a topical
33:04news story then they have to act out what is written on the cards I provide them they all fit
33:09in that
33:09category you'll get it all right this week at the winter olympics the usa played canada very tense
33:14ice hockey match for the gold medal the usa taking the honors there team one so your category is
33:20rivalries like usa and canada canada johanna and emma you have to guess what famous rivalries
33:25chris is acting out chris let me double check there your cards if you'd go and assume the position
33:31over by the stage there so chris is going to act out he has several rivalries that he's going to
33:36mime
33:36to you you have a minute are you ready chris i'd say it's pretty rich of you to call charades
33:41jeremy's special game i've turned it into a tv game okay rivalries okay here we go okay oh my god
33:54a dog and a two dogs two dogs ruff ruff uh scrap it's a rivalry a dog and a cat
34:00dogs versus cats
34:01dogs versus cats yeah well done car drivers oh off drivers and cyclists yes you got it johanna got it
34:11move on curling oh my god oh my god oh peter roguery
34:21eating oh that's our own toast eating mama oh oh throwing away running rugby
34:32springbok versus new zealand all blacks versus wallavies so australia versus new zealand
34:36versus springbok versus new zealand all blanks
34:41hello drinking oh partying bubbles girls girls beer drunk he's drunk oh my god drinking beer versus
34:56prosecco prosecco gay men oh he's oh he's burping yeah he's acting oh my god
35:08crazy okay boys versus girls um can versus glass oh my god can
35:15tan linda phrase you can move on you are allowed to move on if you want time we've just had
35:21time
35:28would you mind telling your team what the last one was that you mind just about coke versus pipsy
35:35why are you drunk congratulations team won by my count that was five that you got correct
35:41that's a good score well done team two we're coming to you now this week a baby macaque uh macaque
35:48excuse
35:56jeremy's official game
35:58how's it getting over there
36:15oh god okay well i've had a good run
36:20team two we're coming to you this week a baby macaque monkey went viral for forming a loving
36:24friendship with a soft toy monkey so your cat oh very cute wasn't it your category is celebrity
36:30animals ben here are your cards if you'd like to go where chris was standing and uh and then i'll
36:35start we have 60 seconds on the clock god can i just say chris parker spent three years at drama
36:41school and he got five yeah okay take it away ben go um
36:47uh celebrity animals
36:54oh my god oh stink it's a cat it's a sexy cat it's a skunk it's
37:04someone the sheep someone the sheep uh a big sheep hulk no what's it called yes
37:09road on road on on them oh um um um
37:14oh it's a snake
37:16a kiwi good night kiwi yeah
37:17yeah
37:22a horse a horse a worm
37:31oh
37:36oh
37:38uh
37:43harambe
37:46oh it's a stingray that killed stevie
37:51oh
37:55australian
37:56australian
37:57australian wombat wombat
37:58uh koala kangaroo kangaroo jack
38:02a sheepdog bluey yeah well done time that is time
38:15oh my god you guys have really done justice to my special game it's a tie
38:24it's a tie so both things get a star
38:30knowing the answer it was a great mind how about my coke all right
38:40how else are you supposed to mind coke
38:45yeah it's a good question who who does have a good mind for coke yeah exactly
38:50all right let's love everyone at home it is now your turn including you rachel to fire up your
39:01brains for the burger fuel brain grill take a look at this image from 1962
39:06all right what is going on there have a look on our facebook or instagram pages and send in your
39:11funniest answer you could win thanks to the greatest burger chefs in all the land
39:14at burger fuel you do that during the break while i sit here and think of some beat the dings
39:19to stump these guys see you back here soon for a bit more on seven days
39:31moma pikimai welcome back it is time now to get my favorite dinger out of its velvet pouch place
39:37it softly on the desk and get to dinging the heck out of it while comedians attempt to list things
39:41in the brain melting category i give them this is beat the ding every successful answer gets their
39:47team a star so it's all to play for my fingers on my dinger let's go new road rules uh
39:52have been
39:52proposed including drivers giving way to buses and allowing kids to ride their bikes on the footpaths
39:57lana i'll give you nine seconds to tell off another driver for breaking the rules uh road rage
40:01optional go what were you thinking you're an idiot it was review nonce
40:11honestly go home and look in the mirror yourself you're you're a dork and none of us want you on
40:18the
40:18road just quit driving bro i would love to be road rage by you it's not that it became relatable
40:29at the end bro oh yeah you started hard out you're like you're a nonce and then you're a dork
40:38and then come on bro i'm gonna give you a star for that lana well done it was good thank
40:43you
40:45in his state of the union speech on wednesday donald trump said america was the hottest country
40:49anywhere in the world johanna you have seven seconds to name six hot things in a deep american
40:54accent go maroki wings the temperature australia oh um my feet thank you yeah it's not gonna happen
41:07it needs to be six anyway it was a hard challenge i only gave you seven seconds uh all right
41:11we move on
41:12phoenix head coach uh giancarlo italiano we uh mentioned resigned dramatically after losing
41:16horrendously to auckland fc uh on the weekend it is football chris uh you have 10 seconds to
41:21dramatically resign from seven days and give me reasons why go i have had it with jeremy's
41:27behavior at the seven days rat party is unacceptable he was waving his baby mcocca
41:35i expect we've heard enough we've heard enough i'll give you a star well done
41:43wellington mayor andrew little swam at lyle bay this week to prove the beaches are safe to swim in
41:48we don't know if he's still alive of course uh hawaii you're from wellington you have 10 seconds to
41:51name two wellington beaches and four little things go uh uh pituone beach eastbourne beach
41:58good mile bay wait how many four little things four little things um uh stewart
42:04um jeremy's special game just didn't quite make it not quite there no star for you
42:13all right world champion surfer kelly slater is playing at the new zealand open golf tournament
42:17this weekend at millbrook ben 12 seconds to give me five famous surfing phrases go oh yeah what
42:24cowabunga dude um gotta get wet ah get a splash about in that uh water hill that's a big one
42:35that's a catch a tube hang a 10. yeah no star dunk your head dunk your head in this in
42:44the brine bra
42:48you're such a grommet uh all right uh sorry no star for you ben uh even though you're very cool
42:54um
42:55the southernmost mad butcher is closing emma you have 12 seconds to tell us six different meats
43:00in the style of a mad butcher go chicken uh beef bacon um pork
43:11two more duck goose yeah that'll do that'll do well done emma you get a star well all the dings
43:19have been dong let's find out who has racked up the most stars to win the night would you believe
43:22it
43:22look at that it's not a long team one well done here you go congratulations chris there is the prize
43:31well and security of your brand new taser bad luck to team two will presumably be killed on the way
43:37home
43:37thank you so much for watching please join me in thanking chris johanna emma ben hawani and lana
43:42we'll see you in seven days on seven days ma pewa
43:54new zealand on air is the italians saying nam hinui
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