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Las experiencias de Martín, Santiago y el presidente Cerdo para escapar de la corrupción del Senado.
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00:00The following program is a television product.
00:03In the previous chapter, our static duo mounted the presidential candidacy colt on the pig-headed buffoon,
00:11with a novel proposal for a sincere political campaign.
00:15The country's political establishment reacts strongly to such a threat.
00:21and it coalesces into a movement known as Toconcerdo, Everyone Against Pig.
00:26With everyone united against the animal, a strong advertising campaign is being launched to the detriment of the pig.
00:33but it has adverse effects on election day.
00:38Don't be rude, the one who needs to be crossed off is the doctor nearby.
00:41To cross out the doctor near sucked the key.
00:44Well, the ignorant electorate of this country ends up electing the humanoid as president.
00:49The pig, following precise instructions, appoints his ministerial cabinet.
00:56The Minister of the Interior will be Dr. Martín Guillermo de Francisco Vaquero.
01:04And for the rest of the other ministries, Dr. Santiago Maurerazo will be in charge.
01:10Or rather, half and half.
01:13The country's leading figures do not look favorably upon the future administration of the pig at the head of the government.
01:20Well, especially the sinister president of Congress, Julio César Batalla Milena.
01:26Our semi-heroes sell a large part of the barren and useless national territories to the United States.
01:32And with the proceeds from the sale, they promote education and health for the suffering people.
01:39The government's management is beginning to be recognized by everyone, except for the corrupt Batalla Milena.
01:46who feels uncomfortable because his voracious bureaucratic appetites are not satisfied.
01:55The government then resorts to a hard line against the corrupt.
01:58The official who has been caught misusing public funds,
02:04The hand he has the best control over will be amputated.
02:06The corrupt parliament, led by Batalla Milena, counterattacks and proposes a trial against the president, which casts doubt on the
02:15government.
02:16Do they approve or not the trial?
02:21And here's our story.
02:24Today we present The power for what, part two.
02:29This is over, brother. Congress is going to oust us from the presidency.
02:33We've had to give them some little jobs, some small contracts, some little ministries.
02:37We're going to have to do what all governments have done: buy off Congress.
02:42That money is not enough to satisfy those people's hunger for jobs and contracts.
02:46But we can deliver the cake of next year's budget.
02:50Excuse me, Mr. Minister of Finance, but I oppose handing the country back to the corrupt again.
02:55Calm down, Mr. Interior Minister. Let me handle this.
02:59Attempting to put this clean and pristine government on trial is absolutely unfair.
03:09Today I have come to offer my support to this honest government and to propose that President Cerdo
03:17be declared innocent.
03:22Attention. In a surprising ruling tonight, Congress declared President Pig innocent.
03:28In circles close to the government, it is said that this is the result of a pact with Congress to divide up the spoils.
03:35the bureaucratic mess.
03:36At this time, President Pig is addressing the nation to make some appointments.
03:46Sound, sound, one, two, three.
03:50The President of the Republic of Chipchombia decrees.
03:55Article One.
03:57The resignation of the Minister of the Interior, Martín de Francisco Vaquero, is accepted.
04:03Article two.
04:06The most excellent, most honest Mr. Julio César Batalla Milena is appointed as the new Minister of the Interior.
04:15Thank you so much.
04:17But Mr. President, how can you appoint a thug as Minister of the Interior?
04:21Arrest that slanderer.
04:23I will not accept that in my government, anyone attacks the reputation of the heroes of this country.
04:32Do you swear to fulfill your duties as Minister of the Interior?
04:36I swear.
04:38Congratulations, Dr. Batalla.
04:40Thank you very much, Dr. Moure.
04:42You have surprised me.
04:45I see that they do know how to do politics in this country.
04:49But remember that you owe a great debt to Congress.
04:53We have to divide up the bureaucratic pie.
04:57Calm down, Dr. Batalla.
04:59We'll cut that cake soon.
05:02Furthermore, I have organized a Caribbean cruise with you and the entire Congress to do
05:08the distribution.
05:09The congressmen will appreciate it.
05:11Congress is eager for parliamentary tourism.
05:17I don't know how he was able to do it.
05:19You really are a piece of trash, Santiago.
05:21Relax, Martin.
05:23Leave that to me.
05:24We'll be right back with the next program.
05:36We're back with the next program.
05:40Oo-la-la!
05:42Cartagena!
05:44At this moment the Titanic sets sail with the president, his ministers and the entire Congress.
05:50Rumor has it that they are going to divide up the big bureaucratic pie in the middle of the Caribbean Sea.
05:58Come closer, members of Congress, the distribution of positions and contracts is about to begin.
06:08That's how it's always been and that's how it will always be.
06:12We, as representatives of the people, have the right to dispose of the national budget in exchange for the sacrifice that being
06:23a public servant.
06:25And he got a good slice, Dr. Batalla.
06:28But tell me, Dr. Batalla, who is that congresswoman who has the biggest slice of the pie?
06:34Ah! That's greed personified. That's Jarta Bartolina. Look at her, she's never satisfied with her quota.
06:45I admire his bureaucratic appetite, but he's a dangerous person.
06:51Everything is going according to plan, Martin. We need to get out of here quickly.
06:57Let's go! This ship is going to sink!
07:00What do you mean? I programmed this ship to crash into a shitbird.
07:04Shitbird. Large mass of floating poop protruding from the surface of the sea.
07:09Phenomenon that occurs in the territorial waters of underdeveloped countries due to the discharge of wastewater into the sea.
07:17They pose a great danger to navigation.
07:20And what will happen to all these people?
07:22Will they drown at sea or die eating shitbird?
07:26Oh, that's great, Santiago!
07:28You had even come to think that you were one of them.
07:32Where are they going?
07:34We still have to divide up the embassies and decentralized institutes.
07:49Now we can govern in peace, General of Francis.
07:57Now the real government begins, Marshal Don Toure!
08:07The President of the Republic of Peace now addresses you.
08:14At 10:31 we received the first segment of the presidential address.
08:19Good night, country without corruption!
08:22Incidentally, we regret the terrible disappearance of the members of the Honorable Congress in a terrible tragedy.
08:29Oh, what the hell!
08:31Life goes on, the show must go on.
08:34Today we have a fabulous package of measures with the President of the Republic.
08:40Good evening, to fix the infernal traffic in capital cities, we will impose a new traffic code.
08:50with harsh punishments for undisciplined drivers, paying special attention to Enco and the youngsters,
08:57That is, bus and minibus drivers.
09:03Sir, can't you see the sign? I'm going to have to give you a ticket.
09:06Oh, really? What are you giving me? And what am I going to do, punch you in the face?
09:10Isn't it that if I don't pick it up, the person behind me will?
09:13This is a penny-pinching war, little brother. This is the land of the cunning.
09:18Ah, so we'll have to apply the new law to him then!
09:31At first, some innocent people will fall,
09:34But it's the only way this undisciplined people will learn.
09:40We want to build a new nation,
09:42But since what has been built is poorly made and has no aesthetic appeal,
09:48We must demolish what has been built,
09:50to build a new country upon the ashes.
09:55We will begin in Bogotá with the grotesque work of Dr. Andrés Patraña,
10:00the Caracas trunk road.
10:04To demonstrate my impartiality in this process,
10:09We will continue with the town where I was born.
10:12Bosa, what a filthy town.
10:16Then we'll go after executive luncheons across the country.
10:22And all the manifestations of wolf architecture left to us by the emerging economic classes.
10:33And tomorrow we will continue with more arbitrary and authoritarian measures.
10:39Within this government's new campaign,
10:41Colombians only learn through hard knocks.
10:44With a straight fist!
10:46Good night!
10:47The above was the intervention of His Excellency the President of the Republic.
10:52An additional 10 billion pesos will be seized due to the capture of Carlos A. Sánchez.
10:58alias Charlie Az,
10:59and 25 pesos for the capture of Iván Soacha,
11:04alias Ivan and his sweetheart.
11:06Call 9800-Mediocre now.
11:09Absolute privacy and outdoor location.
11:12We're back with this mess!
11:25We'll be back in the next program.
11:31Oh!
11:32We deserved this break.
11:35Damn it, Mr. President! Faster!
11:38Why don't you hire some servants for yourselves?
11:41I'm already fed up with fanning.
11:43Shut up, you idiot, Mr. President!
11:45Everything has been easier since last year.
11:47Since we got rid of Congress.
11:48But Ave Maria, we have worked, you know.
11:51That's how a congress ends.
11:53No living proof remained of the existence of that rat's nest.
12:00How gluttonous are you, Bartolina?
12:04She spends all day eating shitberg.
12:08If I make it to Earth alive, I swear I'm going to make Maureyda Francisco eat more shitberg than he ever has.
12:13It's my turn to eat.
12:16But what is that? A ship!
12:18Here!
12:19Here!
12:19Here!
12:20Here!
12:21Here!
12:36Here!
12:40Ugh, ugh, ugh, what have you been eating lately?
12:46We've worked hard and we deserve some fun.
12:49Our hobby is observing our favorite elderly people.
12:54Let the first one come forward, Mr. President.
12:56Name?
12:58Francisco Chona!
13:00From now on we're going to call him Pacho Chona.
13:03And most importantly, age.
13:06Ninety-two years!
13:08Perfect!
13:09It looks like it's 120 years old.
13:11Go ahead, old man.
13:12I'm going to recite a poem for you.
13:15Whenever I remember that I have to die,
13:20I feel like urinating and starting to hand out [something].
13:26Hahaha!
13:28Give this old man something to eat and kick him out the back door.
13:33Following.
13:34Name?
13:35Old Lady of Crépita.
13:38And what is your charm, Mrs. Misfortunes?
13:41I am a member of the community development centers,
13:44where grandparents learn to dance and sing.
13:48Dancing and singing?
13:49How ridiculous!
13:51Look, when I'm old,
13:53I want to be locked up in my house, bitter and alone.
13:56Forward.
13:57I'm going to sing the Community Development Center anthem for you.
14:02Kennedy is very big,
14:04It has many old people
14:05and they all go to different centers.
14:10Oh, this old woman has depressed me!
14:12Get out of here!
14:14Damn it, old lady!
14:17He's broken the vice-presidential vase!
14:19Now we have an institutional vacuum!
14:22Who are we going to appoint as vice president now if nobody wants to be just a figurehead?
14:26Thanks to his insignificance as a person,
14:29We are obliged to invest you as vice president, elderly lady.
14:37Hiring those waiters was a great idea, Mr. President.
14:40More pork broth, please.
14:43Hey, I didn't know you.
14:46I doubt it, Mr. Minister.
14:48I just arrived in the country.
14:51You were right, Mr. President.
14:53It didn't look good that you were our dog washer.
14:56Add more spine to my cuchuco.
14:59Hey, you seem familiar to me.
15:01I don't think so, Mr. Minister.
15:04I do want to.
15:05Please, give me a little more...
15:07Be quiet, the vice president is an object and objects don't talk!
15:11I just...
15:12Tell him to be quiet!
15:13The vice president should be a figurehead.
15:15And for me, please, put all the soup together with the leftover dry ingredients.
15:19And he brings it to me in even more disgusting water.
15:23Thank you so much.
15:24Everything is in place for them to return to power.
15:28We've been through a lot to get here.
15:33Did you bring the scopolamine?
15:35Clear.
15:35With this, the president will lose his will and we can do whatever we want with him.
15:40Francisco's Moor and that old woman should be fast asleep soon...
15:45...with the sleeping pills we gave them.
15:47Ha!
15:47This guamasa needs more dough.
15:50Nobody makes a guamasa like my mom does.
15:54May I say something to you, Mr. President?
15:59Your wish is our command.
16:04They're fired.
16:06But, you pig, we just hired them.
16:09No one gets fired for a bad joke.
16:12No, not them.
16:14You, Mr. Moureraz.
16:16You, Mr. Francisco Vaquero.
16:19And you, old lady, are fired.
16:23What's wrong with him, you damn animal?
16:25What have they given him?
16:27Sure, I admit it.
16:30You are Julio César Batalla Milena.
16:33And you are Jarta Bartolina.
16:38We're back with this mess!
16:42We're back with this mess!
16:52We'll be back in the next program.
16:55The President of the Republic of Peace now addresses you.
17:01The President of the Republic of Crete.
17:05Article One.
17:08The Minister of the Interior, Justice, Mines, Culture, Agriculture and the new Ministry of Youth are appointed.
17:18to Dr. Julio César Batalla Milena.
17:21And for the rest of the other ministries, Dr. Jarta Bartolina will be appointed.
17:30Or rather, half and half.
17:33Other government adjustments include the reopening of Congress and the legalization of parliamentary allowances.
17:39A provision introduced this afternoon in a law on alternative sentencing,
17:43It meant the release of three million criminals from the prison cities of Ibagué and Cúcuta.
17:50Former ministers Moure and de Francisco were transferred to these prisons.
17:54as well as the vice president, Doña Anciano de Crepita.
17:58The mob gets angry.
17:59They are demanding the return of Moure and Francisco.
18:01The pig president won't show his face.
18:05National discontent over new government measures.
18:08Riots in all cities.
18:10Attention.
18:11The enormous national discontent led to prominent figures speaking out against the government.
18:18We cannot allow him riding on an elephant...
18:21Corruption and immorality...
18:23Stay in government.
18:25Them.
18:26Oh!
18:27Oh!
18:30Oh!
18:32Help me, you annoying Bartolina!
18:34They're going to break down our door!
18:37How do we stop them?
18:39With the constitution!
18:41Don't be stupid, what constitution!
18:43Don't you see that this is a coup?
18:45No!
18:46That's it!
18:50This is a military coup.
18:52Are you under arrest, Mr. President?
18:54Or should I say Mr. Former President?
18:57Martin, Santiago, help.
19:00At this moment, Mrs. Decrepit Old Woman takes office as the new president of the republic.
19:06Madam Vice President, will you uphold the constitution and the laws of the republic?
19:16Oh, damn it!
19:17The opportunity was lost for someone inept but honest like Doña Anciana to assume the presidency.
19:22Now there is indeed a power vacuum.
19:25I propose to the people of this country the return to power of one of the most representative presidents of the
19:33history.
19:35I...
19:37No!
19:38Let that pair of drunks take power!
19:40At least they're honest!
19:43Chipchombia Village!
19:46We don't want power.
19:49Power for what?
19:51We have shown that any honest person can be president, no matter how useless or inept they may be.
19:59I propose to the people that we spare the nation a great expense by holding new elections.
20:05And through the applause meter that J. Mario Valencia has lent us, we will know what the people want.
20:14We'll start from the bottom.
20:15By Dr. Valditieso.
20:18Whose fault is it that we don't see it?
20:20By this little dwarf standing next to me!
20:26By Dr. Pocos!
20:29By Dr. Pocos!
20:30For Dr. Sieminanín!
20:34But she's a woman!
20:37Women belong in the kitchen!
20:39And by Dr. Patraña!
20:43For Dr. Cerca!
20:48So the position of president is vacant!
20:54But they applauded me more!
20:56No, not me!
21:01We were dreamers!
21:02We did everything we could to improve!
21:04Well, at least we destroyed the main Caracas highway.
21:07No, and they gave amnesty to the pig animal.
21:10The poor man didn't know what he was doing.
21:12Darío Echandía was right.
21:14This is a country of savages.
21:15We're going to bury this old woman.
21:17No!
21:18She's alive!
21:19What an unpleasant old woman!
21:21I like it!
21:22I want her by my side for life!
21:25Let's get back to business!
21:26Let's get drunk making the radio show!
21:29Ah!
21:29I miss Tatara's hips!
21:32And Pito's mediocrity!
21:50We've been lazy since we were little
21:56Watching TV
21:58Paradise of the idle
22:02And talking about people
22:03That it's of no importance whatsoever
22:06No, no, no
22:08Always mediocre
22:09From the very beginning of breastfeeding
22:13Wasting time
22:15Always thinking about the same thing
22:17And those thirty years
22:22Lost
22:24Time passed
22:26Dreams of nothing
22:27In itself
22:29We didn't have a good time
22:32Among thieves, old people, and bugs
22:35And here we are
22:37And here we stay
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