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00:00Tonight, from across Australia and around the world,
00:04it's time to look back and unpack the week
00:06from The Cheap Seats, with special guests,
00:10British comedian Emmanuel Sanubi,
00:12and friend of the show, Denise Scott.
00:15And now, here are your hosts,
00:17Melody Bracelow and Tim McDonnell.
00:20Good evening, thank you so much.
00:23I'm here from The Cheap Seats.
00:26Great to be back, great to see you, Mel,
00:27and everyone in here and at home as we look back
00:30on the big news of the last seven days.
00:32It is great to be back. It was touch and go for a little while there.
00:35They are not getting back together, ever.
00:38Yes.
00:39It's just your obsession with astrology.
00:42Oh, don't say that.
00:44We're talking about the big news stories,
00:46and the worldwide oil crisis is causing panic at the petrol pumps.
00:50But first tonight, FOMO used to stand for fear of missing out.
00:54These days, it could mean fear of missing oil.
00:59Don't know if that's going to catch on.
01:02Chef, OMG, oil, my God.
01:04Oh, God.
01:05It's crazy.
01:07XOXO, kiss oil, kiss oil.
01:10The global fuel crisis, Mel, is a very serious subject.
01:14And so, naturally, the ABC sent reporters to speak to the experts.
01:18Now, obviously, fuel prices at the moment, diesel prices as well.
01:21They're impacting a lot of businesses.
01:25We only have 30 days left of tea.
01:28Yes.
01:29Have you seen the price of Dilma unleaded?
01:31It is $3.
01:32Well, across Australia, drivers are worried.
01:35One driver, so desperate, he ran out of fuel in line
01:38and had to push his station wagon to the backside.
01:42Luckily, contestants from The Masked Singer were in the car behind us.
01:45The fuel crisis, it is a big talking point across towns, across Australia.
01:49How are you coping with the crisis, Mel?
01:50Well, it's tough, you know.
01:52Like everyone else, I've had to downsize my vehicle.
01:57And, you know, I'm just doing my bit.
02:01Good on you.
02:02Doing my bit to help everyone else.
02:03Good on you.
02:05Look, people might think that's a tiny car.
02:08No, I'm just an enormous woman.
02:09Mel is huge.
02:10Mel is enormous.
02:11That is full size.
02:12Thank you to Grant Denyer for loaning us that, by the way.
02:15Thankfully, though, with all this talk of fuel shortages, fuel crisis,
02:19Australians can relax because our two remaining oil refineries
02:23are working absolutely...
02:24Apocalyptic scenes at Australia's worst-timed petrochemical disaster.
02:30Is there a good time for a petrochemical disaster?
02:32Like that Alanis Morissette song.
02:34It's like a petrochemical disaster on your wedding day.
02:37Yes.
02:37Look, the fuel crisis that's causing concern and the cancellation of many festivals and activities.
02:43Thankfully, though, Mel, there are still some events going ahead.
02:46The International Balloon Festival forging ahead.
02:49That's despite the fuel crisis.
02:51Thank God there's some good news.
02:54I'm the only place celebrating rising inflation.
03:00You're right.
03:01There is lots to celebrate.
03:02It's not all bad news.
03:03Not even the high price of fuel could stop music lovers from making the trek for the five-day celebration.
03:10It looks like it has stopped them, to be honest.
03:13Although, to be fair, it might be the phrase flute and fiddle that might be putting people off.
03:17Is that the new Netflix and chill?
03:20With Australia's stockpiles running low, the Prime Minister went overseas to try and secure more fuel.
03:25Yes, exactly. He started in Singapore, then Brunei.
03:28So, what did the Prime Minister manage to achieve?
03:30The Prime Minister has secured an extra 100 million litres.
03:34100 million litres.
03:35100 million litres of diesel.
03:42Come on, Ken. Come on, Ken.
03:45You've just got to come on.
03:46That's a faulty one. Let's get another one.
03:51No.
04:00A hundred million litres.
04:02How good's this?
04:03Australia, we are sorted for how long?
04:06About a day's worth.
04:07Okay. Maybe we celebrated a bit too early.
04:10Yeah.
04:11Okay.
04:11No, well done to the Prime Minister.
04:13Anthony Albanese, he is on a mission to do...
04:16More energy deals with Asian neighbours.
04:19Asian neighbours.
04:19Asian neighbours.
04:26It does remind us of a very short-lived drama here at 10.
04:30That's when you're going to be on the quick way.
04:42I'd like to know why that got cancelled.
04:46I'll be honest, I always preferred home in Ewasian.
04:48Yeah.
04:51Let's move on, and with supplies low, everyone's being encouraged to save fuel.
04:56Thankfully, there are some handy tips out there.
04:58With fuel prices at unprecedented highs, one sure-fire way to reduce the petrol pain is to not drive.
05:05Oh, good.
05:05Wow.
05:06You forget the obvious one.
05:07Struggling with the cost of living?
05:09Just die.
05:12Well, in response to the crisis, the government, in their infinite wisdom, have launched this.
05:18The global fuel shortage is affecting everyone, and we all have a part to play.
05:23For fuel-saving tips, visit fuelplan.gov.au.
05:26So this is the new national fuel-saving campaign, slightly different to this real fuel-saving campaign
05:33from Australia in 1979.
05:35If we use a little less, we'll look after ourselves.
05:40There's at least a dozen ways to save our petrol.
05:48Can we see that again?
05:50No.
05:51It works, though.
05:53It worked, though.
05:53Fuel use went down, and musical orgies went up.
05:56So let's go back to the 2026 fuel-saving commercial.
06:01So the government spent $20 million on an ad campaign,
06:04and the national fuel security plan.
06:06So this is the new level of fuel security.
06:09We're currently at level two, keeping Australia moving.
06:11Level three is taking targeted action.
06:15And, of course, level four is...
06:16Cancel the hot air balloon festival.
06:18Those are the levels.
06:19It's too far.
06:20We can't do it.
06:21Hopefully we never get there.
06:23So the advice in the fuel plan is to take simple measures,
06:26things like checking your tyre pressures, driving smoothly,
06:30or carpooling with family and friends.
06:33That's beautiful.
06:34Well, another tip.
06:36If you can, work from home.
06:37Please be urging Australians to drive slow
06:39and work from home to save fuel.
06:44Especially if your home is Noah's Ark.
06:48One of the other fuel-saving tips is carpooling.
06:51And it's great to see Aussies are already carpooling.
06:54See the moment a woman cleans to the bottom of a moving car.
06:59There's at least a dozen ways to save your petrol.
07:02That's great.
07:03Let's hear more.
07:05Go on, ****.
07:06Go on.
07:07Go on, you stupid dog.
07:12It's amazing to be taking the moral high ground
07:14while you're gripping onto their bodies.
07:17Go on, run me over.
07:19Yeah, you stupid dog.
07:20You're so stupid.
07:21Driving your car normally.
07:23Insane.
07:24It seems there's only one solution the government aren't on board with.
07:28The federal government warning against the tick-tong trend
07:30of brewing fuel in the backyard.
07:34Really?
07:34Okay.
07:37God forbid a woman has hobbies.
07:40I've actually, it's actually gone over your script.
07:46Don't worry, you can clean it up.
07:53All good, I'll get this back to mum and we'll press on.
07:57Still with everything that's going on, conflict overseas, fuel price pain,
08:01it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
08:04Australia faces its most complex and threatening strategic circumstances
08:09since the end of World War II.
08:12Thankfully, there's not a shortage on lip gloss.
08:16That's a relief.
08:18Okay, well, let's see how the US is handling the situation.
08:20We have a great military, we have the greatest military,
08:23the most powerful military any place.
08:25Nice to see J.D. Vance getting into the spirit, isn't it?
08:29That is beautiful.
08:30So this was, of course, the conflict in Iran.
08:32That was Donald Trump there.
08:34And this is the on again, off again.
08:35The straight is either blocked or it's not blocked.
08:37There's 48 hours left of the ceasefire.
08:39Yeah, but peace talks between Iran and the US are apparently progressing.
08:43Preparations are underway in full swing in Islamabad.
08:48Okay, so preparations are in full swing.
08:51What are we talking?
08:51Security sweeps.
08:53Counter-terrorism.
08:53Cyber-security.
08:54Some of the roads are being re-carpeted.
08:58Flowers are being put in different places.
09:04It's part peace talks, part room reveal.
09:09It's part of being re-carpeted.
09:10It's one of the only places you have to take your shoes off before you cross the road.
09:14It's insane.
09:15So we've heard a lot from the US and the President,
09:18all these truth socials in the last few weeks.
09:20What about Iran?
09:21Chantel, how has Iran responded?
09:26Well, Iran has...
09:27We'll leave that there.
09:27We are live to Canberra, where the opposition may not be speaking.
09:30How has Chantel responded?
09:31Come on, Chantel, you chatty Cathy.
09:33Wrap it up.
09:33Oh, I know.
09:34Look, it's been a big, big week.
09:36It's been a big week.
09:37It's been...
09:38You take this one.
09:39All right, wrap it up, wrap it up.
09:41So, lots happening in the US.
09:43Busy time for the President.
09:45Not just the war.
09:46The President later shared this AI image of himself as Jesus Christ.
09:52Yes, healing the golden bachelor there.
09:55There is a very simple explanation for this.
09:58It's supposed to be me as a doctor making people better.
10:01Obviously.
10:02He's obviously dressed as a doctor.
10:04He reminds me of my favourite medical drama, Grey's Anatomy.
10:08Obvious.
10:09It's not just Trump.
10:11There is a lot happening among his inner circle.
10:13This week, his health secretary, Robert Kennedy Jr. made headlines.
10:17RFK Jr. once chopped off a dead raccoon's penis to study later while on a family road trip.
10:25We've all been there.
10:26Who hasn't done that on a family road trip?
10:29It's not really a family road trip until Dad gets out of the car and hacks off the
10:34disfigured member of a deceased raccoon.
10:37The article begins with the phrase, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., an avid animal genitalia
10:42researcher in his spare time, some try pickleball, others...
10:48Try pick off some balls.
10:50So, moving on.
10:52Let's just move on from that.
10:53What did you put the penis in when you, in the cup holder?
10:57We might move on.
10:57Let's press on.
10:59Let's go to the White House.
11:01Humanoid robot has stepped in for Donald Trump this morning,
11:04making a striking entrance at the White House.
11:07That's the humanoid robot on the right.
11:09Yes.
11:10It's incredible.
11:11A little bit unrealistic for my taste.
11:14And then...
11:15Sadly, one of them ran out of batteries.
11:19Sadly, it couldn't hang around.
11:22There it is, just walking out.
11:24Just leaving.
11:25Just leaving.
11:26And honestly...
11:27When you've got a summit at 10 and Pilates at 11.
11:31And I hate to objectify a robot, but...
11:33Pretty nice ass.
11:36I hate to watch him go, but I love to watch him leave.
11:39Welcome to the White House.
11:41The back side of that robot, it's incredible.
11:43It does remind us a little bit of...
11:45If we use a little...
11:46Yeah.
11:48We're going to take a break.
11:49It's back if you're in a T-6.
11:51I love to watch.
11:52If we use a little less, we'll look after our sound.
11:56There's a taste of us.
11:58We're just going to save our best show.
12:02Welcome back to the T-6.
12:04Thank you, everyone.
12:06And you can head to our socials below to keep up with the show
12:08and to join our live studio audience.
12:10It is so great to be back.
12:12And great to see you, Mel.
12:13Haven't seen you for a while.
12:13You've been busy, obviously, touring across the country
12:16as a Dolly Parton impersonator.
12:21How has that been going?
12:22Sorry, I just have...
12:24My biceps are too large that they sort of...
12:25I broke myself through the jacket,
12:28had to make some last-minute repairs, but I have been busy.
12:31You have actually genuinely been touring, haven't you?
12:33I've been touring the Melbourne Comedy Festival
12:34and I'm touring my show Dilly Dallying all around Australia.
12:39Check it out.
12:40Check it out.
12:41You came to one of the shows, didn't you, Tim?
12:44I did come to one of the shows.
12:45I genuinely enjoyed it.
12:46It's one of your best yet.
12:47This is you up on stage there.
12:49Thank you very much for the tickets.
12:50Yeah, those are supposed to be full-length suit pants, but...
12:54Yeah, again.
12:54Thank you for the tickets you provided me.
12:56I think we got a shot of where I was sitting.
12:57Thank you, Mel.
13:00Exactly.
13:00It sort of meant that you could be in the crowd,
13:02but still, you know, respect the restraining order.
13:05So that's good.
13:06I like to do.
13:06That's good.
13:07You are busy too, Tim.
13:08Yes.
13:08You are hosting the Channel 10's Formula One coverage
13:10and an ultimate professional.
13:12In the warm-up lap.
13:14Oh, no.
13:15No, no, no.
13:18Are you serious?
13:19Oh, my gosh.
13:20Are you serious?
13:22Let's hear your insight.
13:23The viewers just joining us.
13:24This cake has nothing to do with us.
13:25Could be absolutely...
13:26No, absolutely.
13:28It's good to clarify.
13:29It's good to clarify.
13:31It's good to clarify.
13:34I thought it was MasterChef.
13:35I got confused.
13:36Look, it was a terrible day for Oscar Piastri.
13:39On the good news, though, he has been added to the National Fuel Saving Campaign.
13:43That's beautiful.
13:44That is good news.
13:44That is brilliant.
13:45Well, let's go back to the news now.
13:48And so much big Australian news to catch up on.
13:54Only at Sydney's Royal Easter Show will you see a cow dressed as a taco.
14:00You don't know my life.
14:03It's a little on the raw side, I would have thought.
14:06This was one of the events we missed over the break.
14:09The Sydney Royal Easter Show.
14:11So many great attractions.
14:13Wood chopping is where strength meets precision.
14:16Now, I'm a little nervous at how close that axe is swinging next to the Channel 10 shows.
14:23Putting Channel 10 and the axe together is a little bit scary for us.
14:28Thankfully, though, we're safe.
14:30Because we have a brand new sponsor here at the Cheap Seats, AHM Insurance.
14:37AHM Insurance, insurance for people, things.
14:40It is so great to have them with us.
14:42Mm-hmm, incredible.
14:43Speaking of people, things.
14:45Yes, speaking of people, things.
14:47Speaking of people.
14:48Speaking of words.
14:50Let's go back to the biggest story we missed over the break.
14:54Three, two, one, lift off.
14:58The crew of Artemis II, now bound for the moon.
15:02Humanity's next great voyage begins.
15:04This was incredible.
15:06The largest, most ambitious space mission since we landed on the moon, allegedly, in 1969.
15:13Incredible scenes.
15:15Yes.
15:15Just the context.
15:16This is how that moon mission was covered back in 1969.
15:20Billions around the world were glued to their screens watching these incredible pictures
15:25of a moment in time.
15:26Mm.
15:27Fast forward to 2026, and how did we cover the Artemis mission?
15:31We'll have more special coverage of the Artemis II mission shortly.
15:35But first, rise of the man-bags.
15:39Of the man-bags.
15:41Priorities.
15:42It's one small step for man.
15:45One giant leap for man-bags.
15:47You sort of worked that out, hadn't you?
15:49Yeah.
15:52Houston, we have a problem.
15:55The Artemis mission was incredible.
15:57The astronauts set a new record for the furthest distance humans have travelled from Earth, over
16:03400,000 kilometres.
16:05Or, as the New York Times helpfully put it, if you took dash-hounds and laid them nose to
16:11tail, you'd need almost 728 million dogs to cover the distance.
16:15Aww.
16:17I've only got 100 million.
16:18I know.
16:20The New York Times then added, it would be tough.
16:24Yeah.
16:25They're not kidding.
16:26What we just need to do, we're just so close to the moon.
16:33Your dedication to scientific research.
16:35This much.
16:36We were this close.
16:37We'll get there.
16:39Let's move on to royal news now.
16:41And here's a story we missed.
16:43Denmark's Queen Mary and King Frederick on a busy day across Melbourne.
16:47He's exploring the city's art and culinary scene.
16:50The Danish Royals in town.
16:52Yeah, the art and culinary scene.
16:54And they got to taste the finest local cuisine.
16:56But he said that he also swallowed a fly.
16:58So there you go.
16:59Beautiful.
16:59Welcome.
17:00Beautiful.
17:01These are the Danish Royals who toured Australia surprising locals.
17:04They gave one unknowing skateboarder a shock.
17:07Do you know who that is?
17:08Like the Queen or something?
17:09Queen Mary.
17:10Queen Mary.
17:10And King Frederick.
17:11Like Jesus' mum.
17:15Exactly.
17:17Exactly.
17:18Exactly.
17:19Like Donald Trump's mum.
17:21Exactly.
17:22Dr Jesus' mum.
17:25It was great to have the Danish Royals in town.
17:28And their love story between Queen Mary and King Frederick is beautiful.
17:31The King reflecting on meeting Tasmanian-born Mary during the Sydney 2000 Olympics.
17:37I just want to pause here on that image.
17:39Do you reckon he looks a little bit like me?
17:45I just want to pause here on that image.
17:54I'm sorry.
17:55I'm sorry.
17:56I'm sorry.
18:01I'm sorry.
18:02But speaking of Royals, this was exciting.
18:03Crowds go wild for Harry and Meghan.
18:06Yes, Harry and Meghan there visiting the Royal Children's Hospital.
18:09As if those children haven't suffered enough.
18:13But it was great to have them in town.
18:15They arrived via a passenger plane.
18:18It's so exciting.
18:19It's so exciting.
18:19Everyone was very excited to see them on board.
18:22I don't like her at all.
18:24Okay.
18:25Not everyone.
18:26Fair enough.
18:27The Sussexes had a very busy itinerary.
18:31Harry's day isn't done yet.
18:32He's just got off stage behind these doors at an Invictus Games event in the room.
18:37A former servicemen and women that he was speaking to as well as a couple of other notables
18:41and politicians.
18:42We'll give you a quick little look inside.
18:45Now the Invictus Games was started by Prince Harry.
18:49That's not fair.
18:51That could have been any room.
18:52You couldn't even see him in that song.
18:55That would be like if I did this.
18:57So behind this door is Beyoncé, LeBron James and the Pope.
19:00I'll give you a little look inside.
19:03Incredible isn't it?
19:05Anyone can do that.
19:10That guy looks like a young King Frederick.
19:12Have you ever noticed that?
19:16We do have some exclusive footage of the Royals.
19:21All right.
19:22So we're still waiting for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
19:25Paul Dowsley, our wonderful Seven News reporter, has snapped a picture.
19:28I'll just grab Billy around here.
19:30If you want to know what the wonderful Duchess is wearing, there she is.
19:34If we can just airdrop that to all of your viewers.
19:38A lot of coverage of the Royal visit,
19:40but one person did it better than anyone else.
19:43Which brings us to our...
19:47Reporter of the Week.
19:50And this week, the honour goes to Channel 7's Paul Dowsley.
19:53Friend of the show.
19:54And Paul got closer to the action than anyone else.
19:56They are, and you can see him just over my shoulder.
19:59Harry and Meghan are here.
20:01I don't know why he's reporting on them like it's a nature documentary.
20:05Hiding behind a rock.
20:09No, but everywhere the Royals went, Paul Dowsley was there.
20:12And we're waiting for the vehicle to pull in.
20:15I can assure you that it's not this one.
20:18I don't think they're in the back.
20:20I might have a quick look.
20:21That's the catering, is it?
20:23No, no, they're not in there.
20:24I wouldn't.
20:26If you're looking for a white van with a Royal in it,
20:28I don't think it's going to be Harry and Meghan.
20:34Sorry, can we look at that?
20:35She travels with Meghan with a van.
20:37Oh, wow.
20:39Can we have a look at that van again?
20:41I don't have the Royals inside, but what they do have...
20:43Is a giant paella, which is actually my nickname in high school.
20:49So, everywhere the Royals went, Paul was there.
20:52Prince Harry and Meghan have just arrived.
20:53Paul Dowsley is there. Paul?
20:55What do you want?
20:57We're on.
20:58It's a bit of commotion.
20:59Damo, we're on.
21:00Hello, mate.
21:00How are you?
21:01Sorry, we've just missed a bit of commotion.
21:04They're actually going in.
21:05You can see them at the back here.
21:06No, mate.
21:07No, we can't.
21:08Get stopped by the bouncer.
21:10In that room was Beyonce and LeBron James and...
21:12We just had another look at her.
21:14Can we check back in with Paul Dowsley?
21:15And then when I tried to get a cheeky selfie
21:18with the Duke and Duchess in the background,
21:20Harry actually approached me
21:21and we had a great friendly exchange.
21:23Now, for some reason, some media outlets wrongly and bizarrely
21:28reported that Harry had a problem with me.
21:30That's totally false.
21:31It sparked chaos.
21:32He annoyed the Royals.
21:34Ambushed.
21:34And Paul did get to speak to Harry.
21:37Yes.
21:37What an amazing opportunity to talk to a royal.
21:40A once in a lifetime opportunity.
21:42And for a reporter.
21:43You know, so many questions you could ask.
21:45Exactly.
21:45So many things to speak about.
21:46I cannot wait to hear what happened.
21:48Let's find out.
21:48He complimented me on my tie.
21:50Thank you so much, Paul.
21:51Good chat.
21:52Good chat.
21:53Thank you so much.
21:53No, they had a lovely chat.
21:55Look at you.
21:57Paul, your name's Paul, right?
21:58It is Paul.
21:59Are you still smiling?
22:00Are we friends?
22:00Yes, we are.
22:02Well, you're a friend of the show, Paul.
22:03Well done.
22:04Congratulations, Paul Dowsley.
22:05You are our...
22:10Oh, yeah.
22:10We're going to take a break.
22:12Mel Trusina's back with us right after this.
22:39We're on season six.
22:43I know.
22:43Yes.
22:44We outlived Made in Bondi.
22:46Oh, my God.
22:47Woo!
22:48I mean, they only did one season, but still.
22:51Lovely to see you, MT.
22:53Yep.
22:54Of course, we went to Mel's show together.
22:55We did.
22:55We did.
22:56We went together.
22:57Thanks for giving Tim the free ticket, Mel.
23:02Do you want to repeat what you said about Mel's show backstage?
23:05I think, no, I think we can move on.
23:07I reckon we could talk about what's happening in the world.
23:09Lost me in the second act was the phrase of that.
23:13I'll just make it clear that my show doesn't have acts,
23:15so you must have just waited until the next show started.
23:21All right.
23:21Can I tell an out-of-school story?
23:23I know you've got things to get to.
23:24Do I?
23:25No, I don't.
23:25I really don't.
23:26We caught up for dinner during the week,
23:27and I've been thinking about this ever since.
23:29Oh, that's awesome.
23:33That's so cool.
23:34I want to hear about it.
23:35No, you've got food.
23:36There's someone dressed as a takeaway noodle box.
23:38I'm sure you can find some food somewhere.
23:41I'm eating a taco cow.
23:44No, we went out for dinner, and we were looking at the menu,
23:46and salmon was on the menu.
23:48And I said, oh, I like a bit of salmon.
23:49And Mel said, I don't eat that much salmon.
23:52And I said, oh, what fish do you eat?
23:54And Mel goes, I eat quite a lot of swordfish.
24:00You eat quite a lot of swordfish?
24:03Have you ever had swordfish?
24:04I've never had a swordfish in my life.
24:05And yet it's the most regular fish for Mel to eat.
24:09I've never had a food that's part weapon.
24:13I've thought about this every day since.
24:15Yeah.
24:15How often are you having swordfish?
24:17I have it like once a week.
24:19Once a week?
24:21I think it's not hectic.
24:23It's the most exotic fish in the world.
24:26Yes, I have an entree of swordfish,
24:28and I follow it up with a sashimi of stingray.
24:31What is going on?
24:32And then I'll finish off with the blue whale moose for dessert.
24:36Well, just because I live in Melbourne,
24:37I'm not allowed a machete anymore, so I keep the sword.
24:40Oh, that's right.
24:41Good idea.
24:41Yeah.
24:42Right.
24:42Anyway.
24:43Anyway.
24:44OK.
24:45Sorry to bring that up.
24:46I've been thinking about it non-stop.
24:47That's wild.
24:48I'd have to add another detail.
24:50Mel, you had salmon for lunch today.
24:56You're also dressed as a salmon, so there's a lot going on.
25:00There's a lot going on.
25:01And you as the fishnet.
25:02Yeah.
25:05All right.
25:06OK.
25:08All right.
25:08Lots happening this week.
25:09It's great to have you back for season 2026.
25:11Where do we start?
25:12Let's start with the biggest music festival in the world.
25:16Of course, it's not flute.
25:18And fiddle.
25:18It's Coachella.
25:21So, Sabrina Carpenter, she surprised audiences by bringing out pop icon Madonna.
25:27Like, what a moment.
25:29Everyone had an opinion.
25:41I feel like Sabrina gets the lyrics wrong there.
25:44Oh, yes.
25:46Wow.
25:46Wow.
25:46To be fair, if I was getting paid five million, I'd do a quick Google on lyrics.
25:50Yeah.
25:50Anyway.
25:51As someone who enjoys swordfish regularly, you are being paid five million dollars.
25:56Some were praising Madonna.
25:59At Coachella, joining Sabrina Carpenter.
26:01I thought she was fantastic.
26:02There you go.
26:03There you go.
26:04He's just walked into a swordfish.
26:13No, that's Peter Ford.
26:14He is OK.
26:16Yeah, yeah.
26:16He's the entertainment reporter and I love it.
26:18Like, he came dressed by inspiration from Madonna.
26:21Yeah.
26:22Yeah.
26:22That's good.
26:23That is brilliant.
26:23Yeah, I'm glad he went for the eye patch and not the cone bra.
26:26Good call.
26:26Good call.
26:28A new season of The Floor started on Sunday night on 9.
26:32Wow.
26:32The show is hosted by Roger Corsa and the rules are simple.
26:35Contestants battle each other to claim territory by naming things in their specific categories.
26:39There's also The Freeze, The Whale, The Randomiser.
26:42Are you guys writing this down?
26:43Sorry.
26:45And also, Stephen Bradbury's there.
26:47I'm surprised that she has chosen to challenge me in the category of winter sports.
26:53She got a workout out here.
26:56Can we see how Stephen went on the floor?
26:58How did it go?
26:59Yeah.
26:59Oh, nailed it.
27:01Wow.
27:01Just speed skated right through it.
27:03A controversial victory, but it counts.
27:06Contestant Raf served as an important reminder.
27:09Don't play on an empty stomach.
27:11Cheese souffle.
27:14Kiev.
27:15Oh, no.
27:16I'm hungry now.
27:17Ah, pass.
27:22Oh, that looks yummy.
27:23You pass.
27:25It's not a menu.
27:26It's a game.
27:29I'd love to see you do that on different types of fish.
27:31Yes.
27:32I'm spent after swordfish.
27:34Oh, my God.
27:35Hell of a con.
27:37All right, let's talk about MasterChef.
27:41MasterChef Australia has returned to our screens on Sunday night on 10.
27:46And the season doesn't really begin until judge Jean Christophe expresses himself.
27:51The lake sauce, nice and soft.
27:53Your sauce is exquisite.
27:55You are fabulous.
27:59I don't think you should be going back home yet.
28:03Whoa!
28:05Whoa!
28:06Whoa!
28:06The mode swipe.
28:08He's not slamming the table.
28:09He's tenderizing it.
28:12But I think he did steer into high school bullying territory.
28:16Jess.
28:17Hello.
28:18Dooo!
28:19Whoa!
28:25Whoa!
28:26Four eyes!
28:26Whoa!
28:28Should've seen what he did when he saw Peter Ford.
28:30Whoa!
28:32Whoa!
28:35Whoa!
28:35Whoa!
28:37Whoa!
28:37Whoa!
28:38Whoa!
28:38Whoa!
28:39We're going to make a guest appearance.
28:40Wow!
28:41Yes!
28:41Oh my God.
28:41You're right not to applaud.
28:45Oh, this is exciting.
28:46It is, it is.
28:47I'm not sure when the episode will air, but we do have this snippet.
28:50Please welcome to MasterChef Australia,
28:55the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Marks!
29:02Some people would argue Channel 10 is milking this appearance.
29:05Well, it's a big get for 10, isn't it?
29:07Yeah.
29:07It is a huge get.
29:08Here she is walking in.
29:10I don't know if they needed her walk to be so long.
29:13There she is there.
29:15She should be arriving any moment.
29:17Oh, no, she's still walking.
29:18No.
29:19No.
29:20Okay, we may have, we may have made some evidence to this footage.
29:24Judge.
29:25I think she saw Judge.
29:26Oh, she's going to do it.
29:28Okay.
29:29In a Cheap Seats exclusive, I can confirm that MasterChef isn't the only show that Meghan
29:35is going to be making an appearance on.
29:36Really?
29:37She's also going to be joining Scott Cam on the block, the home wrecker edition.
29:43Oh, wow.
29:43Yeah.
29:45She's an avid lover of animals, so she'll also be a natural fit for this, the dog house,
29:50or as Harry calls it, their Montecito home.
29:54And this just in, she's also set to replace...
29:57Oh, wow.
29:58Yeah.
29:59There you go.
30:00There you go.
30:01Of course, not the first royal to dabble in reality TV.
30:05Of course, you remember when King Charles went on Wife Swap.
30:08It was great.
30:12And of course, excitingly, we can also announce that Prince Andrew will be joining Junior MasterChef.
30:22How much is Salt Lake Tequila?
30:25And that's my week in arts and entertainment.
30:27Would you please thank Mel Chesina.
30:42Welcome back to the Cheatsuits.
30:43It's time to welcome a very special guest.
30:46Denise Scott.
30:48Denise Scott!
30:49Denise Scott!
30:50Thank you for joining me, Scotty.
30:51I had no other offers, but it's sexual.
30:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:56Denise Scott, I thought you was dead.
30:58We are so excited to welcome Aussie comedy legend Denise Scott!
31:05Thanks for having me.
31:07Thank you for joining us.
31:08Oh, all right.
31:10How great to be alive.
31:12I'm alive.
31:13I'm alive.
31:20I'm alive.
31:21Thank you and good night.
31:23You have got lots to give.
31:24You have recently wrapped up...
31:26Sounds like a pop song.
31:27You have...
31:28Anyway, go on.
31:29Sorry.
31:29We'll see it a bit later.
31:31Because you've just finished touring at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
31:35What was it like being back on stage with your show, Tickety Boo?
31:40It was great and watching your show tonight and all the petrol stuff because it's in Melbourne.
31:48Of course, I got the tram.
31:50I live in Melbourne and I mean, I don't drive anyway, but who knew decades ago I'd be so ahead
31:58of the game in not driving, so I always get the tram.
32:02But because the government, free transport, they were packed.
32:08They were packed.
32:09Yeah.
32:09And the number of times I'd be on the tram, like sardine packed, and this person next to
32:15me would go, aren't you Denise Scott?
32:18Yeah.
32:18And I'd go, yeah.
32:19And they'd go, but I'm just coming to see your show.
32:22Yeah.
32:22And we were sardine packed there.
32:25Oh, my God.
32:25And you don't know, should I make a joke?
32:28Should I look interesting?
32:30Should I, and, and another person who I, no, you can't.
32:36No, you can't.
32:37I don't know how long I've got left to live, so let me, no, please, no, please, you, you.
32:46It's only because we've got Mel Tresina in the corner there and you've mentioned sardines
32:49twice.
32:50She's a little confused.
32:51They're a cheaper fish.
32:53They're a cheaper fish.
32:55Have you ever, have you ever had swordfish?
32:56I have.
32:58Really?
32:58I couldn't believe the, the carry-on, yes.
33:03They sell it in my suburban thornberry fish shop.
33:07Like, where are you two, where have you been?
33:12Tim's still on tiny titties mostly for his, for his lunch, so.
33:16I'm so sorry, Denise.
33:17I did, I did interrupt a story that I, you really did and I've got no idea what I was
33:23saying.
33:24I loved, I loved the free public transport because I'd get on and think I'm being naughty.
33:28I wonder if there's a ticket inspector that's going to catch me.
33:31Oh, it was thrilling.
33:32Yes, it was thrilling.
33:33Well, however, however you got here, it's great to have you here.
33:36You have been very busy and a huge honour for you.
33:39Recently, you were invited to host the gala at the Comedy Festival.
33:47It was so thrilling because, you know, like, Comedy Festival's been going 40 years, right?
33:5440 years.
33:55And, of course, I've been around for most of that time.
33:57Uh, you know, 70 and 40 years of the, 40, 40 years and it was the first time they ever
34:06asked
34:06me to host the gala.
34:08Good on them.
34:10And the point being, hold on to your dreams, kids.
34:14You too might achieve something by 70.
34:18Yes.
34:19We can only hope, you've, you've lived a wonderful life, Denise.
34:24That's the second line.
34:29You're not giving me eulogy.
34:32No, but if we were to start, Denise, you have been reflecting on your, on your, on your life
34:39and your childhood recently.
34:40We saw this image pop up online.
34:42Oh, yes.
34:43Now, who, why are we looking out there?
34:45Isn't that desperate?
34:45Yes.
34:46You know, like, you know how you don't know what to put on Instagram?
34:49I don't.
34:50So I thought, well, I'll go back to 1959.
34:53Yes.
34:53And which one are you there?
34:54I'm, I'm down on the corner with the fringe.
34:57I think we can do it.
34:58Oh, yeah.
35:00Looking happy as, you know, so excited.
35:03And this is true.
35:05I was part, that's what you're seeing there, a group of up and coming models.
35:11We were at the Ron Blasket and Jerry G School of Modeling.
35:17And, oh, yeah, I was four, my sister next to me was six, she'd gone on a kid's show,
35:24the Happy Hammond show.
35:25Yes.
35:26She won a modelling course at six.
35:29Wow.
35:29Well, mum couldn't just take her into the city.
35:32So I went, a four year old, Ron Blasket, and-
35:36The Ron Blasket?
35:37The Ron Blasket.
35:39Oh, baby.
35:39The ventriloquist, ventriloquist.
35:43Of course he was a ventriloquist, it goes without saying.
35:46Yeah, Jerry G is his doll, and they worked blue at night in football sports clubs.
35:55We'll put out a fact sheet.
35:57And kids, no, but then they'd run a young girls modelling school in the day.
36:02We were so relaxed back in the 50s, we didn't care.
36:06In spite of that, you have gone on to have an incredible career,
36:09spending multiple decades, and you're now-
36:12Stop!
36:13You're back at the eulogy.
36:15I'm gonna book you for my funeral.
36:19You're great.
36:20And you passed away doing something that you love.
36:24No, because you've been around for a long time, you're now having to grapple with new tech-
36:29You're now having to deal with new technology.
36:31What's that, you see?
36:33You're now having to deal with new technology.
36:35Yes.
36:36Yes, I am.
36:37How are you finding social media, the internet, the digital sphere?
36:41I can't be bothered with it.
36:43And that's why no one came to my show.
36:47No, no, they did.
36:49Oh, I do, I try, but I'm not very inspired.
36:54Well, you have been online recently promoting your show, and we love these videos you're putting out.
37:00Oh, hi, sorry, I've just turned the car radio down.
37:06Uh, yeah, I've been told to do more social media.
37:09Okay.
37:09Yes, sorry.
37:11I know, I reckon I sold two tickets.
37:17But behind the wheel of a car.
37:21Please, go with me.
37:23This went viral.
37:25No, because that's the thing.
37:27Women often are behind in their driver's seat, reflecting on life, and giving their Ted Talks from the driver's seat.
37:37Okay.
37:38I don't drive, so I just pretend it.
37:42And, um, oh, yeah, it went far.
37:45It was incredible.
37:46Why am I so done?
37:46Interesting.
37:47We do have another angle of that video.
37:49I don't know.
37:50I don't know.
37:52I don't know.
37:53I don't know.
38:18Welcome back to the team seats.
38:20And it's time for our next guest, Emmanuel Sanubi.
38:24Emmanuel Sanubi.
38:25Hi, I'm Emmanuel Sanubi.
38:27I'm looking forward to hanging out with Emmanuel all week.
38:29Emmanuel, you are cool.
38:30I may have kidnapped a friend of mine.
38:32Oh.
38:32Enjoy the show.
38:33Yay!
38:33There we go.
38:34We are so excited to welcome UK comedian, Emmanuel Sanubi.
38:48Welcome, Emmanuel.
38:49How are you doing?
38:49Thank you so much for joining us.
38:50I just like how you started that with, I might have just kidnapped a friend of mine.
38:54We don't like context on this show.
38:56We just want to let out that sort of stuff.
39:00We just wanted to be sort of, you know, we really want to defame people essentially.
39:06Mel has killed and will kill again, so on that note.
39:10At the Comedy Festival.
39:11That's right.
39:12As you have, because it's great to have you with us.
39:14You are just back, like Denise, from performing at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival,
39:18where you were nominated for Most Outstanding Show.
39:27Congratulations.
39:28Oh, thank you.
39:29Did you win?
39:30No.
39:31Okay.
39:32All right, would you please thank Emmanuel Sanubi?
39:36How was the festival?
39:37You've done it before, and you're back for another year.
39:40I did it last year, but I did it as part of the New Order, so I was part of
39:43a compilation.
39:45Whereas this year, I brought my show over.
39:47Yeah.
39:47And it was awesome.
39:49We pretty much sold the run out.
39:52The audience were incredible.
39:54They were really, really nice.
39:54And the show is incredible.
39:56Life After Near Death.
39:57Yeah.
39:57For those who haven't seen it, can you tell us about it?
40:00That happens every time it happens.
40:04You go, life after near death, and people just see life after death.
40:10Oh, that seems fun.
40:11It is a fun show.
40:14A few years ago, I went through heart failure.
40:17I got diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, which is hilarious.
40:20Because if you've never had heart failure, it's the best failure.
40:28And it is really just how life changed after getting through that and just having a different
40:34perspective, really.
40:35And so it's been a really fun, really fun thing to explore.
40:38You performed last night at a small little venue we have here called the Sydney Opera House.
40:43Yeah.
40:45And you're here with us today.
40:46We heard that you originally had other plans for today.
40:50Yeah.
40:52Right.
40:54So as everyone goes, oh, you got to perform at the Sydney Opera House, which is awesome,
41:00but that wasn't my motivation for doing it.
41:04My sister lives in Sydney, and nothing gives me more pleasure than making plans with her
41:11purposely so I can break them.
41:15So you had plans to see her, and then a gig comes up at the Sydney Opera House.
41:21Yes.
41:22Sorry, I'm in town, but unavailable.
41:25Oh, I do it constantly.
41:26It is, it is the best, it's the best thing. Like, I'll say, because I know I was doing the
41:31show.
41:32Yeah.
41:32So then I'll say, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be with you for the week, so let's, let's go get
41:37some dinner.
41:37Let's go, let's go, let's go and do something. Let's leave, let's have some brother-sister time.
41:41Yeah, let's do it.
41:42And then I'll, I'm so sorry, I forgot, I'm gonna be performing at the Sydney Opera House.
41:48I can't make it, I feel really bad, I'm so sorry.
41:53We've already made the reservation, so you have to go alone.
41:55Yes.
41:57It's not even just her, I, I do this to a lot of people, it's one of my favour-
42:01I do it to ex-colleagues of mine that I used to work with.
42:04Now, you say other colleagues.
42:05Well, what's it like being invited to plans?
42:09Mel's a little bit upset because me and our fellow co-host Mel Shustina went out for a private dinner.
42:14Yeah.
42:14And we didn't invite Mel.
42:16And had swordfish.
42:18Have you ever had swordfish?
42:47I haven't.
42:49Yeah, hold on.
42:49This is something we have in common.
42:51Oh, right.
42:54I'm not sure why that would be funny.
42:56What was it like working as a bouncer?
42:58Um, as a bouncer, it is fun.
43:02When I, when I started it, it was back in the day, it was, it was a lot of fun
43:06because you're,
43:07you're essentially there with your friends and most of the time nothing happens.
43:11There aren't, it's not like there's fights every single week.
43:14Most of the time nothing really happens.
43:17Yeah.
43:17You're basically babysitting a bunch of drunk toddlers.
43:19Like, no, that's, that's what people are when they go out.
43:22Yeah.
43:22So nothing really goes on.
43:25And even when stuff does go on, a lot of the time it's funny.
43:29Yeah.
43:29Like when, with comedy, because there's so many stories about me being a bouncer because
43:34it's something most people can relate to because we've all walked past a bouncer.
43:38We've all probably been drunk and been out.
43:41There are so many similarities between being a bouncer and being a comedian.
43:45Right.
43:45Because it's all about presence on the door.
43:48Same thing as the stage.
43:50And I think I'm still dealing with drunk people.
43:52They just sit in rows now rather than the queue.
43:55So it's very similar.
43:56And they're paying to be there.
43:57They're paying to be there.
43:58Do you drop the fact that you're a bouncer into the show,
44:00top of the show to, to, to, to hecklers?
44:02Yeah, yeah, 100%.
44:03Yeah, great.
44:04Yeah.
44:04So I've, I've never really been heckled.
44:08That doesn't, that doesn't.
44:09Because I, and I used to, especially when I started, I'd put jokes right at the beginning.
44:13Um, because it'd be, when I, when it started, you start as an opening act.
44:18The, you, the emcee would say, oh, don't heckle the comedians.
44:21If you want to heckle anyone, heckle me.
44:23So then I'd walk out and my opening joke was, I've actually, um, only been heckled once.
44:28He's dead now.
44:30And it just stopped every four of them.
44:33And then literally just take a few seconds, just stare at everyone.
44:37And there was no one really heckled.
44:40Well, if you're brave enough to want to try and heckle Emanuel, you can see him at the
44:45Sydney Comedy Festival 23rd to the 26th of April.
44:48There are a few tickets left.
44:49Head to bombpresents.com.
44:51Would you please thank the wonderful Emanuel Salubi?
45:07Welcome back to The Cheap Seats.
45:08Thank you so much for watching us this week.
45:10Before we go, let's check the latest forecast.
45:13It's set to call off a little tomorrow.
45:14I'll have details in the forecast shortly.
45:16Well, I'm informed.
45:18It's all fun and games until someone throws a swordfish into the mix.
45:23No, we need a serious weather report, please.
45:25For a top of 21.
45:26Then we'll see some warmer conditions over the weekend.
45:33Unbelievable.
45:34Unbelievable.
45:35Okay, let's go to Channel 10 now.
45:36Sophie Jacobson will fill us in.
45:38Time for a final look at the weather with Sophie Jacobson.
45:40Sophie, enough clowning around.
45:42What's in store for the forecast?
45:45Jade, I'm having way too much fun up here, though.
45:48You're just joking.
45:49I'm down here.
45:49She's down now.
45:50Okay.
45:51But she is on top of a little pony.
45:53Yes.
45:54That's a fun way to announce a tropical cyclone, isn't it?
45:56Yes, it is.
45:58On that note, I think that's us done for the week.
46:00A big thank you to our guest, Mel Trasena, Denise Coyle, and Mignolson.
46:03Yes.
46:05Exactly.
46:06And thank you so much for watching us in here and at home.
46:09What a fun show.
46:10What a journey.
46:11We learnt so much.
46:12Absolutely.
46:13But I think one thing we'll all remember.
46:15Now, we're not calling them man bags, are we?
46:17No, they're just bags.
46:19They're just bags.
46:21We're done.
46:22We'll see you next week right here.
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