- 2 hours ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who was caught putting his genitals on a shopper's head at a grocery store. Then, Jason says it seems so impossible to sneak up and teabag him that he issues a challenge.
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00:01Wooooow!
00:04What are you doing now?
00:05I'm at the Carnival!
00:06Cotton Candy 5 Hour Energy!
00:08It tastes like a Carnival.
00:09Zero sugar!
00:10That actually sounds pretty good.
00:11Yeah, you want to take a ride with me?
00:13No, I don't do that.
00:14God bless.
00:24Alright, uh...
00:25The last thing you would expect...
00:28when you're out grocery shopping is to be teabagged.
00:33I mean, how does that happen?
00:35It's almost so incredible that I, I really, if this man was caught,
00:42I almost, it's too bad.
00:44I really, what do you think the teabaggers should have got away with it?
00:48It's like almost somebody depending on how, like why he's decided to do it.
00:53Is he a vigilante in some kind of way?
00:57All right, I challenge you to teabag me while I'm grocery shopping.
01:00Bend down to get something.
01:01Actually, you wouldn't even have to bend down.
01:02I just have to kind of lift up a bit.
01:06It's hard to teabag somebody.
01:08Right.
01:09So it's incredible that this person is.
01:12For teabagging, you're putting it on my face.
01:14Yep, I would say so.
01:15I'd say head.
01:17Yeah.
01:17I want to see him in action to be completely free.
01:19Do you have video of this guy's teabagging?
01:21Absolutely, right here.
01:23All right, let's see.
01:24Okay.
01:25I challenge you.
01:26Challenge me to what?
01:28A teabag off.
01:29A teabag off.
01:30I'm not going to teabag you.
01:30Not you personally.
01:32Jesus.
01:33It was just for the people.
01:35The people out there.
01:36Teabag off.
01:37There you go, listeners.
01:38Jason challenges you to teabag him.
01:40Take a look.
01:41You see him out and about.
01:41Yeah.
01:42While I'm grocery shopping.
01:43Then you get a picture.
01:43Good luck.
01:44Sandy will not get me.
01:46Yeah.
01:47You won't.
01:49I welcome him.
01:50That's all he'll need at Swimming Lessons now is for guys to be trying to teabag him.
01:55Wherever he is, people will be trying to teabag him.
01:56Hey, come on out of the pool.
01:58As soon as his hands are on the things and he pulls himself up.
02:02Balls on your bald head.
02:03Right.
02:04There it is.
02:04Balls to bald.
02:05Yep.
02:06Anyway, here's the story without Jason's challenge from KTLA.
02:10Take a look.
02:11In Santa Clarita, sheriff's deputies have caught the suspect accused of groping a woman inside
02:16a hall of foods in Valencia.
02:17They haven't done a great job of.
02:18This happened back in March.
02:20The suspect, approaching the victim while she was shopping, exposed himself and inappropriately
02:25touched her from running off.
02:27Security cameras, though, captured the incident on video and detectives say tips from the community
02:32were key to tracking this guy down.
02:34Now, investigators have not released the suspect's name, but they say they are not aware of
02:40any other related incidents in the Santa Clarita area.
02:43How does she not know balls were right behind her, near her head?
02:47I would think I might.
02:48Your ball radar's off.
02:49Your ball radar's off.
02:50When you're looking for the coffee you want, your ball radar's off.
02:54You're looking and you should sense there's balls right there behind my head.
02:56You guys have never noticed.
02:58How would I?
02:59He was there for a while.
03:01He was.
03:01Longer than I would have thought.
03:02I don't think you, yeah, that's the thing about.
03:05And he got close.
03:06You can't allow someone to get that close to you.
03:09Doesn't she see him out of her vision?
03:11No, she's on her phone and she's looking up.
03:16But you can feel him.
03:17Yeah.
03:18You can feel or see his hand.
03:20Oh my God, it's so wild.
03:22It's wild.
03:23His balls touched her head right there.
03:25I don't like it.
03:26She's looking up the codes.
03:27And then he quickly backs up as if it was just like his arm or something.
03:30Yeah, like, oh, sorry about that.
03:31I was trying to get a product.
03:33No one should ever get that close to you at the store.
03:36No one should be within teabag distance.
03:39Well, even if I had to, and it happens every single time I want anything.
03:43You get teabagged?
03:43No, there's always someone right there.
03:46Oh, I hate that.
03:47Oh, I know.
03:47And I'm like, okay, well, I guess I'm, but I would never just like get up into their
03:53personal space and go and grab it.
03:56You go look for something else.
03:56You just kind of wait.
03:57Chill for a minute.
03:58Yeah.
03:58You know, it always takes them an extra beat of time because they realize that you need
04:03to be there.
04:04I just scream, move it, old bitch.
04:06Yeah.
04:07And then get my stuff.
04:08Yeah.
04:08That's smart.
04:09You could handle it that way.
04:10I wish.
04:11I guess.
04:11Move it, old bitch.
04:12Don't make me put my balls on your head, bitch.
04:14How many teabag you, bitch?
04:15Do you want to get teabag, bitch?
04:17Then move.
04:19The Dave way.
04:20Yeah.
04:21Hey.
04:23Stupid bitch.
04:24Oh, my gosh.
04:25Okay, relax.
04:25Now that's too much.
04:27Oh, right in there.
04:28Yeah, they did a horrible job pixelating his balls.
04:30There's his balls right there.
04:32I mean, it is.
04:32His balls are right there.
04:33Because there was another report on this, and they pixelated.
04:37Like, you couldn't see anything that was going on.
04:40They literally were just like, just pixelate his balls a bit.
04:43Give it the most minor ball pixelation.
04:45Would you be upset if that was all of his stuff?
04:49Oh, for him, I guess.
04:51But I guess I don't feel bad for a teabag and pervert.
04:52I think it's all of his stuff, to be totally honest.
04:55I thought he put it all.
04:56I thought he was holding his wiener up with his hand.
04:59I think he's holding his shirt up.
05:01He looks like he smells.
05:02Oh, man.
05:03You should be able to smell his balls.
05:05This is the thing.
05:06This is the only way he's getting any action.
05:08He's got to trick somebody and put his balls on them.
05:13I mean, like that, he is.
05:15No one is going to touch his balls at all.
05:18No way.
05:19I'm glad they caught him.
05:21See, he just hangs around Whole Foods and brings his balls out when he can.
05:25Yeah, that's what I think he does.
05:27Whole balls.
05:28Yep.
05:28Lower shelf.
05:29Listen, I like my balls being touched.
05:30Yeah, that's how long do I have to wait, though, Dave, realistically, you know, Whole Foods,
05:37wandering up and down the aisles for someone to be so, you know.
05:43Down, because, right.
05:44Yeah, how often do you go down?
05:45Right.
05:45Crouch down for a while.
05:47But then you're also, like, you're looking on your phone.
05:49It's like a crime of opportunity, really.
05:52Yeah.
05:52Like, he must have seen her there, or he roams the aisles looking for this kind of thing.
05:56That's it.
05:57Because normally you bend down just to get something for a second, and you're up again.
06:00You're not crouched down for a while researching something.
06:03I'm not getting in the catcher's stance.
06:05I mean, like, come on.
06:07No.
06:07And I guess that's a good thing just for anyone.
06:10Don't linger down low, or you can get to your bed.
06:13Be aware of your surroundings.
06:14News balls.
06:15And honestly, if you're in a grocery store and you see a man in a Levi's button-up, keep your
06:22eye on him.
06:23He doesn't even have a basket or anything.
06:26Keep your eye on him, okay?
06:29And if you see Jason out and about, the challenge has been issued.
06:32Yeah, teabag him.
06:34There is no way.
06:35You'd be aware that he would know.
06:38I'm going to go crouch on purpose for an extended period of time on the lower shelf.
06:42You're going to be so sore.
06:43You're going to come in here, and you're not going to be able to walk right.
06:45I'll be just fine.
06:45Because you're crouching down at the grocery store all day.
06:48I haven't been really walked.
06:49I've been in a catcher's stance all day trying to get teabagged.
06:52I'm trying to get someone to teabag me.
06:54I just, could you even imagine that he is in here in the morning, and he's getting ready for something.
07:00Like, he's reaching down.
07:01He's got to pull out these, like, computer drives or whatever.
07:04And you just, he's forgotten all about it.
07:07Oh, he would be easy to get, actually.
07:08And you teabagged him?
07:11Because you put your hoodie on, and you get into a zone in the morning early, and you're on the
07:16computer.
07:20I don't know.
07:21You might not be able to see.
07:22I don't think you are.
07:22I'm scared the hell out of you.
07:23Nobody's teabagging me.
07:24Oh, my God.
07:25I'm almost guaranteed.
07:26I guarantee.
07:27That's a guarantee.
07:28I guarantee it's going to happen.
07:29I mean, we can't do it, but someone's going to do it.
07:31If you withdraw your balls near me.
07:35Dave.
07:36Rib the hole.
07:36Dave, I'm telling you right now.
07:38I'm going to get us.
07:39Dave, I got an idea.
07:40Yes.
07:41I'm going to get us a couple sets of fake balls.
07:44Oh, yeah.
07:45Fake balls.
07:46Fake balls on a stick.
07:47And all we have to do is hold them close, and then, because they're not our real balls.
07:52You're going to rip those right up.
07:53But if we can teabag him.
07:55Oh, you've been teabagged, bitch.
07:56Yeah, I love this idea.
07:57You will not get your balls on my head.
07:59Yes, I will.
07:59I've issued the challenge to everyone.
08:02That's so bad, because you are going to have nuts on your head now.
08:05I won't.
08:06You are going to have a listener's nuts on your head.
08:07Wait until he's at some.
08:10Some event.
08:12You will have listeners will take this as a challenge.
08:14It's just for today.
08:15Oh, you can't go.
08:17Just for today.
08:18Oh, no.
08:19This isn't for the rest of my life.
08:21Yes, it is.
08:23I got so much to do.
08:25I can't be thinking about this forever.
08:27Wait until he's at soccer.
08:28He'll be at a dumb soccer game one time.
08:31One of his kids are going to sign up for it.
08:33He's going to want to be dead.
08:34Don't do it at the soccer game.
08:36Oh, yeah.
08:37Not when kids are around.
08:38You'll get charged.
08:39Oh, my gosh.
08:39You'll get charged.
08:40Never think it's going to be you.
08:41With fake nuts.
08:42And then it's you, and now it's this.
08:44Yeah.
08:45Right on his head.
08:47You think you're just making a little joke, and then it's real.
08:51And now there's balls on my head.
08:54You even imagine getting sent a documented picture of Jason looking up towards his forehead
09:01and a set of nuts on it.
09:03Oh, my gosh.
09:04Shocked look on his face.
09:05Oh, my God.
09:06No way.
09:07It's going to happen.
09:08It won't.
09:09It's going to happen.
09:10Just be ready.
09:11Look out at the ice cream barter, wherever.
09:13I don't know what you do if someone has teabagged you, though, like that.
09:16Like, I mean, I don't know.
09:18Challenge accepted.
09:19They're all flying in.
09:20I'm coming for you, Jason.
09:22Oh, shouldn't have said it.
09:23Said it.
09:24Oh, no.
09:25You know how many, like, professional teabaggers there are out there?
09:28Do you know how much people love to do that just in video games to people?
09:32It's going to be nuts.
09:33Oh, my God.
09:34If I'm really sitting in the store, and I just see a guy flying up.
09:40There he is!
09:44Teabag him!
09:44Oh, man.
09:45I'm going to be running through parking lots.
09:46Oh, my God.
09:47You're going to make the news for sure.
09:49Think about this.
09:51I'm playing basketball against him.
09:53I have athletic talent.
09:55Oh, my God.
09:55He's bending down, rubbing out some guy's crayon.
09:57He's trying to defend.
09:59I have, like, a guy who can jump right over him just right at the last second, pull him
10:06out, and right off the forehead.
10:10Good defense.
10:12Challenge accepted.
10:13I mean, it's multiple people texting in.
10:15I hope I don't assault somebody.
10:16Oh, you'll be fine.
10:18And it's not.
10:18And the police will be like, why did you assault that person?
10:21Oh, I thought they were going to teabag me.
10:23Oh, wow.
10:24I thought they were teabag.
10:25I got a challenge.
10:26I got a target on my back.
10:28You can't pre-assault someone.
10:30You can only assault after the teabagging has happened, which is, that's no way to live
10:36either.
10:38The Jason teabag challenge is now in effect.
10:40All right.
10:41Well, let's set some ground rules.
10:42No.
10:43You can't teabag me if I'm with the kids.
10:46Okay.
10:46Oh, yeah.
10:47All right.
10:47Well, that's on to the teabagger.
10:49He's never going to let the kids out of his sight now.
10:52No, I know.
10:53They're always with me.
10:54I would take it back.
10:55I would just forget.
10:56You think I should withdraw my challenge?
10:58Yeah, I think you should.
10:58No.
10:59It's too late.
11:00I don't think they would care anyway.
11:02Someone said, this version of the Running Man remake is way better than that.
11:05You have 24 hours.
11:07Yeah.
11:07To be teabagged.
11:08The clock starts now.
11:10Yeah.
11:12Someone said, I can't believe I'm going to drive from central Wisconsin to Michigan just
11:15to teabag someone.
11:16Oh, my God.
11:18Road trip.
11:19Oh, my God.
11:20People coming over the border.
11:21What's your reason for entry?
11:23I'm on a teabag mission.
11:24I'm trying to teabag a man.
11:25This is like his purge.
11:28You know what I mean?
11:29Yeah.
11:29It's like that 24 hours and anything can happen.
11:32He's got to get to a safe room and fast.
11:35I have a new car, too.
11:37What?
11:38I have a new car.
11:38You do?
11:39Yep.
11:40You got a new car?
11:40You got rid of the Subaru?
11:41Yep.
11:42What?
11:42No, you didn't.
11:44He's lying, guys.
11:45It's a black Durango.
11:46He's lying, guys.
11:47He's lying.
11:48He didn't really.
11:49I was like, wow, that would have been so close to play along.
11:51No.
11:52No.
11:53These guys got so excited that you got rid of the Subaru.
11:57He's not.
11:57He's still driving that old lesbian wagon.
12:00I would miss the Subaru jokes if he got rid of it.
12:03Oh, yeah.
12:04Oh, wow.
12:05I send him a Subaru joke once a week.
12:06He does.
12:07I know.
12:07You really don't.
12:08I'm like, you've sent me this one eight times.
12:09I know, but I just can't.
12:10I still find it funny.
12:12It's like, I'm just going to say if you laugh, you say.
12:15It's usually on a day where I've given him a little bit of sass here.
12:18Yeah.
12:18And then he hits me with a Subaru joke.
12:20Boom, bitch.
12:20I mean, it's tough.
12:21That's a tough recovery.
12:22All right, so first person to teabag Jason will win an unspecified prize.
12:26Right.
12:27I mean.
12:27Wait, you're giving him prizes?
12:29Oh, now you're up in the stakes.
12:31I know the prize.
12:32You have a room full of them.
12:34Oh, my God.
12:35An auto blow.
12:36Auto blow.
12:37Oh, my God.
12:38It's valued at thousands of dollars.
12:39The world's best ejaculation machine.
12:42Wait a second.
12:42Can you teabag Jason and win an auto blow?
12:46Oh, Lisa, brilliant.
12:48Brilliant.
12:49You said I should withdraw my jailings, and now you're rewarding the teabaggers.
12:53Oh, yeah, dude.
12:54I'm distracted.
12:55I go back and forth.
12:55It's the perfect gift for this winner.
12:57Lisa's like Jekyll and Hyde.
12:58You never know.
12:59I can't stick with one thing.
13:01You know what they should get?
13:02The jack off machine.
13:04You've got a room of jack off machines.
13:06Give them one.
13:08If they could teabag his head.
13:10Don't do it, Jason.
13:11That would be silly.
13:12Why would you guys suggest that?
13:13Withdraw your plan.
13:14I thought of the best prize.
13:16Yeah, it is.
13:18It's crazy.
13:19It's two different people in here.
13:21It's scary.
13:22Please withdraw.
13:22I don't want to see this happen to you.
13:24Because if they do, they win an auto blue, courtesy of Dave.
13:31She does go back in front of you.
13:33It is.
13:33Oh, my God.
13:34Why would you even think of that?
13:35Oh, my God.
13:36Not in front of your kids.
13:38Not in front of your kids.
13:39But there are other times when you could get him.
13:46You would be easy to get in here.
13:48You'd put your hood up and we'd get our nuts right on you.
13:50I'm even giving Lisa a set of nuts now.
13:54I'm not doing it.
13:55You'd never expect her.
13:57No, I would not.
13:59I don't want to be in trouble for harassment.
14:01A little set of nuts right on a stick.
14:02There's no one here to report.
14:03Someone will get in trouble.
14:07And for everyone that teabags him, we will donate $5 to sick puppies.
14:11Oh, wow.
14:13Yes, we're going to help animals.
14:15Uh-oh.
14:16We're going to help animals.
14:17Oh, my God.
14:18We're going to get an auto blow.
14:20And Jason has nuts on it.
14:23There you go.
14:25You imagine he's in the sun and he just has his eyes closed for a minute.
14:28And then even on his hand, he just felt a set of nuts.
14:31Oh, this is unfair.
14:33I'm a lady.
14:34Can I V-bag him?
14:37I mean, if you manage to V-bag me, I'll buy you an auto blow.
14:43That's a Katy Perry.
14:46Katy Perry.
14:47The old Katy Perry.
14:48Now, that just sounds pervy.
14:49Ladies, I challenge you to V-bag me.
14:52I can't ask.
14:52I challenge you.
14:54No.
14:55You're not going to like who decides to do it.
14:56Don't think your wife will like that.
14:57No.
14:57If you're like 60 years old and fit V-bag me.
15:02First person to successfully teabag him wins a several thousand dollar valued auto blow.
15:07Within 24 hours.
15:08Not.
15:08No.
15:0924 hour channel.
15:09This is not for the rest of my life.
15:11I can't go around.
15:12I'll be looking over your shoulder for the rest of my life.
15:14I'll be looking for balls for the rest of your life.
15:16That's crazy.
15:17That was just a stupid joke.
15:20I mean, I don't know.
15:21Oh, I can't even go anywhere.
15:23Don't drive from Wisconsin.
15:25Yeah.
15:25Please drive in from Florida.
15:27Yeah.
15:27Every Wisconsin license plate I see.
15:29Do you know how many guys want that auto blow?
15:32A cheese head comes at you.
15:33Look at how.
15:34Oh, my God.
15:34You guys see that Wisconsin license plate?
15:36Someone said he'd be holding his kids as human shields.
15:38Yeah.
15:39Exactly.
15:39Oh, if I have the kids, you can't teabag me.
15:41How do I explain that?
15:42This is the thing about teabagging.
15:44I mean, all laws apply.
15:47You know?
15:48So, you do have to think about that.
15:50All laws apply.
15:52I mean, if you do something indecent.
15:55Right.
15:55You're arrested.
15:57There's no get out of jail.
15:58We're not playing for your.
15:59No.
15:59No, that's why everything's on you.
16:01Or your lawyer.
16:02This is extremely illegal.
16:04Will I press charges?
16:05I don't know.
16:06That's it.
16:06You can't issue a challenge and then press charges.
16:09I think you can.
16:10Yeah, this would be evidence.
16:10Why not?
16:11Yes, you can.
16:12Listen, puss.
16:13You can't back out now, puss and boos.
16:14No.
16:15He just said.
16:17It's.
16:17Listen, I don't.
16:18You've made it into a whole life.
16:22A whole life.
16:23For the rest of your life, you have to worry about this.
16:25For the rest of my life.
16:25And someone's going to get me when I'm dead.
16:28They're going to come to my viewing and they're going to teabag me.
16:31Boom!
16:31Where's that auto blow?
16:32Write that down.
16:34You son of a bitch.
16:34Please don't somebody, you know, like let somebody know.
16:37Yeah, exactly.
16:38Don't let anyone teabag me when I die?
16:40Yes.
16:40You got to put that in your will?
16:42It is.
16:42Please don't let anyone teabag me in my coffin.
16:44Jesse has heard crazier things.
16:46What?
16:47Could you imagine, though?
16:48He's finally lost his mind.
16:49Like, and no one else is in the room?
16:51You know, he's just in there.
16:53What?
16:53You open it up real quick.
16:55Put your balls right up.
16:56Get him.
16:57Get the picture.
16:58Get him.
16:58Oh, my God.
16:59And then we got to find an auto blow in the year, I don't know, whatever that will be.
17:03Oh, that'll be kicked up a notch by then.
17:04Oh, that's right.
17:05I can open my eyes just for one second to say, touche.
17:08Yeah.
17:10Anyway, good luck out and about.
17:12You see, Jason, you know what to do.
17:14The challenge has been issued.
17:16Yep.
17:18The challenge has been issued.
17:20The challenge has been issued.
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