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00:01Come on, Malcolm, it's gonna be a blast.
00:03It's fine, Marty.
00:05I am happy to be kicking off our bachelor party
00:07at a theme park.
00:09It is not a theme park.
00:11The Camelot Experience is a theme restaurant,
00:14set in the glory days of the reign of King Arthur,
00:18where gallantry and magic were the order of the day.
00:22You know, I thought I was gonna regret not being able to go.
00:26Daddy, look, look, listen, okay?
00:28This is perfect for a bachelor party.
00:32The ale wenches,
00:34their bosoms are practically bursting out of their bodices.
00:42Wow, Marty, you mean I get to see the top of boobs?
00:45You know, if you went to the jiggle hut on Slosson,
00:48you'd get to see the whole thing.
00:50Plus, they have some of those lemon pepper wings.
00:54I know you're not talking about the jiggle hut to my babies.
00:58Marty brought it up.
00:59Well, no, Malcolm's been there.
01:00Well, I ain't never been to the jiggle hut.
01:03I can't believe you're dog-sitting for Mercedes.
01:06This is your life now.
01:10Hey, everyone.
01:11Hey, girl.
01:12Hi, baby.
01:13Thank you guys so much for dog-sitting, Coco.
01:15Oh, no.
01:16Our pleasure.
01:17We'd love to.
01:18Where is Coco?
01:19Oh, right here.
01:20Oh.
01:23That's it?
01:24That's the whole dog?
01:26Aw, she's adorable.
01:29That's not a dog.
01:30That's a hamster that made a witch.
01:33Oh, hey, everybody.
01:34Dave, say hi to Coco.
01:36Oh, hey, Coco.
01:37Yeah, my folks are dog-sitting while we go on our bachelor and bachelorette parties.
01:42Ooh.
01:42Uh, speaking of bad news, I'm not gonna be able to make your bachelor party.
01:47Uh, Dave, you weren't invited.
01:49If you remember Marty's last bachelor party, you had two jello shots and turned into Dave the Douche.
01:57It wasn't that bad.
01:59It was a nightmare.
02:00I can't believe you did that.
02:01Okay, well, I have to be on call for my telehealth gig anyway, so I'm not gonna be able to
02:06make it.
02:07Don't beg me.
02:08Yeah, you got it.
02:09Okay, bye, Dave.
02:09Dream of doing this.
02:12So, Marty, you got a medieval cape picked up for your night at Camelot?
02:18Well, I know you are making fun of me, but yes.
02:22Yes, I do.
02:24I'm glad you guys are having a nice, clean bachelor party.
02:27Oh, I bet you are.
02:28You know Garnett, her ex-husband?
02:30His bachelor party?
02:31Whoa!
02:33Yep.
02:34Oh, they had to blur out everything.
02:39And so, all this stuff is for one little dog?
02:42Yeah, and if she doesn't sleep on her memory foam mattress, she wakes up cranky.
02:47That's what happens when you buy a pure breed.
02:50Well, in my day, you didn't buy a dog.
02:53Oh boy.
02:53You got a dog.
02:56Like Bingo.
02:57He was chasing me home from school one day.
02:59He was trying to bite me.
03:00And I was running.
03:01And I got caught in the corner.
03:02And then he was looking at me.
03:03I was looking at him.
03:04And I had a little piece of Slim Jim.
03:06And I threw it at him.
03:08And he ate it.
03:10Boom.
03:11I had a dog.
03:14Welcome to the block.
03:15Welcome to the neighborhood.
03:17Welcome to the hood.
03:22Oh, hell no.
03:25How many times I got to tell you, you can sleep in your orthopedic bed, the basket, or your little
03:30Malibu dream house.
03:31But the chair is mine.
03:34Shh.
03:35Go on now.
03:37What part of going now don't you understand?
03:40Yeah, but she's probably exhausted.
03:43I had to flush out her ears with antifungal foam.
03:46She fought me tooth and nail.
03:48And trust me, that little dog is a lot stronger than she looks.
03:52Dog?
03:52That's not a dog.
03:53Bingo was a dog.
03:57There's one time a raccoon tried to drag my little brother into the woods, right?
04:03And Bingo said, right on my watch, not on my watch.
04:10He said that, did he?
04:11Yeah.
04:12And then, he chased that raccoon up a hundred-foot pine tree, all the way to the top.
04:20There's no way he did that.
04:23Look, the point is, is that that dog saved Curtis' life.
04:30This dog, well, she wears a purple vest, so she don't get cold.
04:39What'd I tell you about my chair, huh?
04:41What'd I say about my chair?
04:42You want to go here, okay?
04:46Yeah, that's where you belong.
04:51Oh.
04:53Okay, okay.
04:55All right, so this is what you do?
04:56You just sit in people laps?
04:58I don't think so.
05:00Oh.
05:03Mailman?
05:09Okay.
05:10Okay, parking at the mailman.
05:13I like that.
05:15That's big dog energy right there.
05:19All right, I think we're all good for tomorrow.
05:21I mean, the sprint event will be here at 6.
05:23Dinner's at 6.30.
05:26Go-kart tracks at 9.
05:29The only thing left to do is hire the strippers.
05:32What strippers?
05:33The ones you asked for?
05:34No, we didn't ask for strippers.
05:37In fact, we explicitly said no strippers.
05:39Well, somebody asked for them.
05:42Was it you, Trey?
05:45It was somebody.
05:46Look, regardless, it's better to have strippers and not need them
05:50than need strippers and not have them.
05:54No strippers.
05:57Got it.
05:58Strippers, TBD.
06:01Anyway, I am so psyched for this party,
06:03it's gonna be way better than my last bachelor party.
06:06Are you kidding?
06:06That party was dope.
06:07We had steaks, cigars, a party bus.
06:10Man, that's how you send your man off to get married.
06:13Except I called off the wedding at the end of the night.
06:17For you, it was horrible.
06:18For me, top five.
06:22This time is totally different, okay?
06:24Courtney and I have a daughter together.
06:26We live together.
06:27We know how compatible we are.
06:29Well, Nisi was just too impulsive.
06:31Like, we'd only really known each other for a few months.
06:32Yeah, you know what?
06:33There's no way you can get to know a person that fast.
06:36Uh, well, well, uh, you know, it, uh, it does depend on the person.
06:41Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not talking about you.
06:42I mean, a few months is plenty for you and Mercedes.
06:44Yeah.
06:45I mean, you guys are totally different.
06:46Yep.
06:47Very, very different.
06:48Yeah, you're damn right.
06:49We, we different.
06:50Yeah, right.
06:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:52Uh, yeah.
06:55How?
06:58You like that cheese?
07:00You get you a little piece of cheese.
07:02You like that cheese, don't you?
07:04You know what's better than cheese?
07:07Belly rubs.
07:08Ah!
07:10I love that belly.
07:11I like that belly.
07:12You like that belly.
07:13Oh.
07:13Oh, I'll go scram, mutt.
07:14Yeah.
07:17What'd I tell you about my chair?
07:20Uh-huh.
07:22Oh, oh, you're on dog duty.
07:23I'm going to the barbershop.
07:24Oh, no, no, no.
07:25Jimmy and I are getting mani-pedis.
07:27You'll have to take her with you.
07:29I can't go into that barbershop with Ratatouille.
07:33Hey, Tina, guess what?
07:35Dave has very generously offered to drive us to the salon
07:39and sit with us while we get our nails done.
07:42Oh, yeah, that's not gonna work for me.
07:44Dave just needs to get out of the house.
07:46He's been sitting in front of his laptop all day.
07:48This job is killing me.
07:49I spent the last six hours
07:50just shoveling people through the system.
07:52You know, I thought I was gonna get a chance
07:53to really use my therapy skills.
07:55It's like they're keeping Michael Jordan on the bench.
08:00Well, Calvin can take him to the barbershop.
08:02Oh, thank you!
08:03What did I do?
08:06I got the dog and Dave?
08:12How come Butler getting married?
08:13I never thought I'd see the date.
08:15Well, I mean, I always knew I would get married someday.
08:18That happened so fast.
08:19I mean, not so fast.
08:21I mean, three months.
08:24Do you even know her last name?
08:26Uh, yes, I know her last name.
08:28Do you?
08:28Do you know her middle name?
08:30Obviously.
08:32He's Googling it!
08:33Oh, no, no!
08:34No poodle!
08:35Put your eyes on my hair, please!
08:37Yeah, hey!
08:38Oh!
08:39Oh, my God!
08:42Calvin's got a purse dog.
08:45Uh, this is not a purse.
08:47Uh, Daddy, it kind of looks like a purse.
08:49Oh, is a suitcase a purse?
08:50Is a bag full of guns a purse?
08:54Calvin, ignore them.
08:56Your man card is fully intact.
08:59There is nothing unmanly about a poodle in a purse.
09:03Okay, Dave.
09:04Dave, would you stop helping, please?
09:06I-I can't help it.
09:08It's what I do.
09:08You know, we therapists have a term for what they're doing.
09:10It's called projection, and it's born of insecurity.
09:14Ooh.
09:15That felt good.
09:15Jordan for three.
09:18Okay, everybody, give my pops a break, all right?
09:21That's not his dog.
09:22It's my fiancé's.
09:24Oh, yeah.
09:25What's the dog's name?
09:27Uh, damn it, I knew this!
09:30The dog's name is Coco.
09:31Coco.
09:35It's okay to be upset, Calvin.
09:37Those guys found a vulnerability in you, and they zeroed in on it.
09:41You know, that's what bullies do.
09:42I know what bullies do.
09:44I am the bully.
09:46But not to sweet little doggies.
09:51You know what I think?
09:52I don't think this is about you being humiliated at the barbershop.
09:55I think you have formed an attachment to this dog.
09:58And I think we should unpack that.
10:01Absolutely not.
10:04No one lets me unpack anything anymore.
10:08I don't get it.
10:12Hey, is this the Butler residence?
10:15I'm sorry.
10:16We're actually in the middle of something right now.
10:17Uh, no, we're not.
10:19Uh, Dave, do you not know who this is?
10:21That's Garnett Winters, three-time pro bowler,
10:24holds all the records and receptions.
10:27Aren't you also on Trophy Divas?
10:28Yeah.
10:28You're a Mercedes ex-husband.
10:30That I am.
10:31Oh.
10:32Well, if you're here to fight Malcolm,
10:34just know it's not gonna be one-on-one.
10:36We jumping in.
10:39Oh, no.
10:40I have to fight both of you guys?
10:42Don't worry, man.
10:43Me and Malcolm are cool.
10:44Garnett Winters is a lover, not a fighter.
10:47Huh?
10:48Well, that's good to know.
10:50So, um, what can Calvin Butler do for Garnett Winters?
10:54You can give me my dog back.
10:56Oh, Calvin Butler can't do that.
11:02I'm sorry, Mercedes didn't tell you I might come by to pick up Coco?
11:05She did not.
11:07Typical.
11:08Uh, let's go, Coco.
11:10Yeah, we still have time to make our swim class.
11:14You know, she won't be getting in any pool today.
11:17I just did her hair.
11:20Garnett, Calvin has formed an unusual bond with Coco.
11:24Oh.
11:24We were about to start unpacking it.
11:26The hell we were.
11:27No.
11:29Uh, whose car is that?
11:31I mean, what kind of nut job buys an electric Rolls Royce?
11:36The rich, handsome, environmentally conscious kind.
11:39Hey, how you doing? I'm Garnett.
11:41Oh, we, we, we, we, we, we know who you are.
11:46We hate you.
11:48Well, he's here to take Coco.
11:51What?
11:51Oh, no.
11:52Uh-uh.
11:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
11:54That is not gonna work.
11:55I'm sorry.
11:56This is my dog.
11:57How is this not gonna work?
11:59We don't trust you.
12:00And we don't trust a man who pushes little Andy Cohen off a stand-up paddle board.
12:06Nobody pushes Andy Cohen off a stand-up paddle board.
12:09Mercedes trusted us with her dog.
12:12That's right.
12:13And we're not giving Coco to anyone without her say-so.
12:17Nope.
12:18And maybe not even then.
12:21Burnett, Calvin has fallen in love with them.
12:23Oh.
12:24Oh.
12:25Don't be my dog.
12:27Don't all be.
12:28I love the dog.
12:29It's my dog.
12:30Mine, not yours.
12:31I-I don't think y'all understand how lonely a 12-bed room penthouse feels when you're sitting
12:38there by yourself.
12:39Ever since Mercedes took away my visitation rights, my life has been empty.
12:43I miss the sound of the ticky, ticky, ticky little feet on my custom Italian marble floor.
12:52You know what?
12:54Garnett, you let it out.
12:57The man can't have everything.
12:59Custom Italian marble floors, electric Rolls Royce.
13:03I'm keeping the dog.
13:10Malcolm?
13:11Uh, hey, Marty.
13:14What's up?
13:16Nothing, man.
13:16I'm just, uh, I'm playing Connect Four.
13:19Oh, okay.
13:20Well, that is a perfectly reasonable thing to do in the middle of your bachelor party!
13:29There we are, enjoying the Camelot experience, reveling in Joust, eating our Excaliburgers,
13:36and I turn around and you are gone.
13:38I just needed a minute, Marty.
13:40You've been gone for an hour.
13:43I had a panic attack.
13:45Why?
13:46Look, man, at your bachelor party.
13:48Not this one, the other one.
13:51When did you know it wasn't gonna work out?
13:55Wait.
13:56You think you and Mercedes are like me and Nisi?
13:58That's just it, Marty?
13:59I don't know.
14:00You know, just like I don't know her middle name.
14:02Or her favorite color.
14:03Or the name of her first pet.
14:05Who are you trying to marry the girl and steal her identity?
14:10I'm just saying, Marty, am I being reckless?
14:13You know, man, was I so determined to prove that I could commit to somebody that I just,
14:18I don't know, I just rushed into this.
14:24I lost again.
14:27And won!
14:28You are playing against yourself!
14:30You also won!
14:33Just like you are winning with Mercedes.
14:37Look, man, can I give you some tough love?
14:39Yeah.
14:40Okay, come on.
14:45Malcolm, you have been running from serious relationships for years.
14:49Now, some of them, thank God.
14:50I mean, Katrina.
14:51Whoa.
14:52Don't say her name.
14:53Yeah, I still got her blocked on socials.
14:54But now you've found something real.
14:59Like, really real.
15:01And I don't want to see you running again.
15:04You are never, ever gonna do better than Mercedes.
15:09Not if you live to be 300.
15:11She's smart.
15:12She's beautiful.
15:13And she's so nice, you can't even tell that she is filthy rich.
15:20And she loves you.
15:25I love her.
15:27And yeah, and move fast, man, but...
15:30You know, when you know, you know.
15:31And you know.
15:32Oh, I know I know.
15:33I know you know you know.
15:34Ah!
15:37Oh, my God.
15:40Claudette!
15:41Excuse me?
15:43That's Mercedes' middle name, Claudette, okay?
15:45Look, all the guys at the barbershop can suck it!
15:50Yes, they can, yeah.
15:51Now, will you please stop playing connect forward with yourself
15:54and marry that girl before she comes to her senses?
15:59Look, Marty, thank you.
16:01Man, I couldn't ask for a better brother.
16:04That's what brothers are for.
16:06I love you, man.
16:08Oh, you too.
16:11I don't know.
16:13Maybe Mercedes and I were never really happy.
16:16Garnett, this is good.
16:17We're really starting to unpack this.
16:19Other people could learn from your willingness to be vulnerable.
16:22I don't know who you're talking about, but they are not here.
16:27Hey, why is there an electric rolls out in front?
16:30Because you took the McLaren in the divorce.
16:34Oh, my God.
16:35What is he doing here?
16:36Do not give him the dog.
16:39Trust me, he's not getting the dog.
16:41Because we're your real friends, Mercedes.
16:46Okay.
16:46Um, why are you back so early?
16:48Ugh, glamping was a terrible idea.
16:51There were so many bats.
16:52Sienna got drunk and fell on a cactus.
16:54Aurelia got stung by a scorpion in her brand-new boobs.
17:00I'm gonna have to start watching this show.
17:03Um, we had a custody agreement, Garnett.
17:06We were gonna share Coco, and then you went and brought her to Aruba on my week.
17:09She had fun, and I got her a cute little snorkel.
17:14Guys, uh, if I may, can we please show Garnett some grace here?
17:19Does he have issues?
17:21Does he have issues?
17:21Does he manipulate people with his charm and million-dollar smile?
17:25Oh, stop it.
17:27It is in short.
17:29Yes, but he is feeling grief.
17:33He lost a companion that showed him love, and he's committed to working on himself.
17:38Yes, I am.
17:39I really am.
17:44Ah, man, I hate to do this, but I agree with Dave.
17:50I mean, a sweet little dog like this can feel holes you didn't even know you had.
17:56Bingo?
17:58Bingo was his name-o.
18:03He was the best damn dog I ever met, you know?
18:06And I didn't know how much I was missing that feeling until I met Coco here.
18:12Well, she is a special dog.
18:14She's the only thing I've ever truly loved.
18:17Gee, thanks.
18:20You know, one time, this big guy tried to, uh, steal my bike, right?
18:25And Bingo was not having any of that.
18:27No, no, he bit off his pinky.
18:29And he kept it in his mouth all the way home.
18:32And Bingo was so proud, man.
18:34He was proud.
18:36He was like, all right.
18:36Oh, oh, oh.
18:40Is Bingo real?
18:42I have no idea.
18:43Get to your point, Calvin.
18:45Yeah, yeah, well, the point is, is that even the manliest man can benefit from having a little buddy just
18:54like this.
18:56Especially if he's feeling alone.
18:59I guess we can try shared custody again.
19:02Thank you, Mercedes.
19:04Dave, thank you so much.
19:06Well, thank you for allowing me to use my gift.
19:08Jordan with the buzzer beater.
19:11Swish.
19:13Okay.
19:14Let's go, go, go.
19:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
19:16Give me a minute.
19:17You're right, my bad.
19:23You know, Coco, we had a special time.
19:28So don't be sad.
19:30You know, be happy that we get this.
19:33Oh.
19:34Oh.
19:36Really?
19:38So I guess all them belly rubs didn't mean a damn thing.
19:44So y'all think because I got a little dog, I'm not tough?
19:48I got blindsided by Ray Lewis across the middle.
19:51Woo!
19:53Yeah, you know, I remember that game.
19:54I lost my parlay when you fumbled.
19:57It was crime Ray Lewis.
19:59Yeah, yeah.
19:59Listen, if that would have happened to me,
20:00I would have walked straight off the field
20:02and then to my car.
20:03Oh, man.
20:04And give yourself some credit.
20:06The league has nothing on those trophy divas.
20:08You've never seen somebody in the NFL get hit with a stiletto.
20:12You know, I once knew the toughest dog in the whole damn world.
20:18Oh, yeah.
20:20Oh, bingo.
20:22And Noah once ate a whole beehive.
20:27That's impossible.
20:29And then when he burped, hornets came out.
20:31It's not the same thing.
20:33Hornets came out of the beehive.
20:35You in there?
20:36You just seen it?
20:38You shouldn't have known myself.
20:40And then a Teresla came out.
20:41No, it's not the same thing.
21:08It was a threat.
21:09And then we go away and walk out little Weilby from coolino.
21:09This is our way After we wrap around the table.
21:09Do we wrap this up?
21:10How do we wrap this up?
21:10Bye, we it's time being tu lured.
21:10I hope you do a couple of times when we get Nawada.
21:11Once we finally wielkan a turret right then we'll do peace together.
21:11It's not even more menstrual pain.
21:11Stuffed out of the table.
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