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00:06I'm sorry it took so long.
00:07The line at the burrito place was crazy.
00:10Also, I don't like being here.
00:12What, did he lose his protein powder?
00:14Vic thinks a bird has declared war on the DMV,
00:17and he's gonna fight it.
00:19The crow in the parking lot?
00:20I told you, don't bother that bird.
00:22He's way smarter than you.
00:24He's a bully.
00:25He terrorizes anyone who gets near his tree.
00:28Oh, yeah, what business does a bird have in a tree?
00:32The guy clocks me driving up,
00:34and he starts stepping right off the bat.
00:37Steps right up.
00:39Got that look on his face.
00:40Uh, does he say anything?
00:43Yeah.
00:44Looks at me like, gah!
00:45Oh.
00:46Gah, gah!
00:47Gah, gah, gah!
00:48It's hate screech, and it stops today,
00:51because today I stand up for the walkers.
00:54Thank you for your service.
00:56Way to go.
00:57The one I was looking for.
01:02Battle mode engaged!
01:09I'll figure it out.
01:10Yeah, it's good, it's good.
01:14He's not well.
01:15Mm-hmm.
01:17FYI, I, um, I might not be too chatty today.
01:20Great.
01:20Because I can finally dig into this new book, Wild.
01:23It's about this tough woman who finds herself while hiking.
01:27Oh, yeah, the new book that the 2014 movie was based on?
01:32Yeah, I remember when I rented a DVD from a library,
01:35back when they had DVDs and libraries.
01:38Real funny.
01:39And real rich coming from a guy who doesn't know how to turn the flashlight off on his phone.
01:43I know how.
01:48Like that.
01:49Oh, my God.
01:51Oh, my God.
01:52Oh, my God.
01:54Oh, my God.
01:56Oh, my God.
01:59I know who I'm rooting for.
02:02I do.
02:06Oh, my God.
02:08He got the umbrella.
02:09Oh, my God.
02:18Uh, excuse me.
02:20Um, what are you doing throwing your smelly trash over here?
02:22The cans in the driving examiner area were foolish,
02:25so I thought I'd put it in the big boy.
02:26You know that janitors only come at night, right?
02:28And the big boy fills up pretty quickly.
02:30It's us counter workers that are throwing the trash into the dumpsters all day long.
02:33Actually, it's just me.
02:34Exactly.
02:35I don't mind, though.
02:36I like the exercise, plus it hardly ever drip.
02:38That's so nice of you.
02:39My God.
02:40You are such a Deb.
02:41A Deb?
02:42Is that like, oh, like a debutante?
02:45Deb stands for driving examiner babies.
02:48It's what everybody calls you behind your backs.
02:50What?
02:50Why?
02:51It's because you all act like you deserve special treatment, like babies.
02:54I don't think I deserve special treatment.
02:56When was the last time you cleaned up the coffee maker?
02:58I put the graph in the sink, and I don't even drink coffee anymore.
03:02I switch to matcha because it's healthier, and you avoid that, like, mid-morning crash.
03:06All I heard was deb, deb, deb, deb, deb, matcha, deb, deb, deb.
03:10Don't sound like that.
03:11You guys swear you're better than everyone else.
03:13Counter workers, security, janitors.
03:14Excuse me.
03:15I'm a woman of the people, and you can't use the word janitor anymore.
03:19The term is custodial engineer.
03:22Deb, deb, deb, not janitor.
03:23Deb, deb, deb.
03:24Next!
03:25I don't have all day.
03:26Let's go.
03:26You really need a matcha.
03:28You can go.
03:28I'm going to bring you one.
03:35Hey.
03:35Hey, Birdman's still at it.
03:37Hey, you are not going to believe this.
03:41Apparently, people call us deb's.
03:43It stands for...
03:44Driving Examiner Babies.
03:45Yeah.
03:45Yeah.
03:46Back in my day, the B stood for something different.
03:49Ceci says that we think we're better than everyone.
03:51Yes, we are.
03:52The best day of my life was when I became a deb and stopped being a county.
03:56Do not call count workers at.
04:00Why didn't I know about any of this?
04:02Because you skipped working at the counter and went right to becoming a driving examiner somehow.
04:07Because I have a college degree, Greg.
04:09I do too.
04:10What other difference between you and I will put you on the fast track?
04:14Hmm.
04:14Hmm.
04:15Maybe because I'm younger and a female.
04:18Yeah, those are the only differences.
04:21I get it.
04:22You may have shredded my umbrella, but you'll never shred my spirit.
04:31Really?
04:34What in Dolly Parton's America happened to your head flap?
04:37That darn crow ambushed me.
04:39Fell right into his trap.
04:40Animals can be territorial.
04:42My cat's claimed my indoor bathroom.
04:44You need to get that ear checked out.
04:46Nah, it's fine.
04:47I'm a quick healer.
04:48I'm serious.
04:49You need to see a doctor.
04:50Don't believe in him.
04:52Never been sick for more than a day.
04:54All right.
04:54I'm going to go pound these figgy newts and take down that crow.
04:58No, biggie.
04:59It's just a little gift.
05:01Gratis.
05:02Other driving examiners might be deb's, but not this one.
05:05Nope.
05:06This one.
05:07This one gets it.
05:08No, no, no, no, no, no.
05:09More cans means more time for trash to sit out here in our area.
05:12Colette, you just gifted us two stink bombs.
05:15I was trying to help.
05:16I just want to make things easier for all the counter professionals.
05:21Easier?
05:21You want to know what would make things easier if we had any of the benefits that you and
05:24those other two idiots have?
05:26Better pay, downtime, in between tests, you know, customers that suck up to us because
05:30they want to pass.
05:30God, best of all, you guys have your own private first-class lounge.
05:34Do you mean our desks?
05:35Yeah.
05:36A quiet sanctuary away from customers.
05:38God, even our regional manager has her own space and she's never even here.
05:41Those regies.
05:43I've had it up to here.
05:44Give me some.
05:45Please don't.
05:47We are on display like animals at a zoo.
05:50Except for at this zoo, the people watching us are also animals.
05:54I'm so sorry.
05:55I'm on my break.
05:56Oh, I'm sorry.
05:58I'm actually on my break, too.
06:00Except I'm a medical doctor who will be returning to a life-saving surgery.
06:04So, whose time is more valuable?
06:09I'm indicating balance, but in reality, it is my time.
06:12We can't even finish our paperwork, let alone get a second to ourselves.
06:15It's always, I have a surgery to get to.
06:17Oh, I have kids to pick up.
06:18Oh, please, can you stash this bag underneath your counter?
06:20I'll be back for it in three weeks.
06:22I have to deal with stuff, too, like drivers and examining them.
06:33Since nobody sits here, feel free to use it whenever you need to.
06:38Mi casa es su desk.
06:40Ah, this feels like a setup.
06:42Like when a department store puts a rack of clothing outside.
06:44This is not a setup.
06:46It's just an olive branch, which is, you know, a symbol of peace.
06:49But, you know, I'm not trying to deb-splain.
06:51So we can really take our breaks here?
06:53Yeah, because as Ceci pointed out, the wasps in the break room are mating.
06:57Yeah, they are.
06:58Yeah.
06:58Hey, is it okay if I listen to some really cool woodwind-only music?
07:03Yeah, it's great.
07:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:05I just want you to make this your own.
07:07Yeah, I just, I'm here to help and uplift.
07:09Actually, this is really nice.
07:11I have plenty of room to bedazzle the hats for my high school reunion.
07:14Absolutely.
07:17Oh, didn't know we were expecting company.
07:20Is this my retirement party?
07:21Please be my retirement party.
07:23We're just opening things up because there's no divisions at the DMV.
07:27I can't hear what you're saying because there's still some beak in my ear canal.
07:30But I can tell by the shapes your mouth is making that it's a big pile of doggy dudes.
07:36You're both such debbs.
07:38Can you just trust me?
07:38I think this is going to be so much better.
07:40All right, so this is the hang zone.
07:43What up, Scotty?
07:45Hey, the gang from Ridden Test will be here in a minute.
07:47You know, they just nuking some fish sticks.
07:53What's that disease where it really bothers you when people are chewing close to your ear?
07:58Yeah, I'm really glad I don't have that.
08:03This is exactly what I wanted.
08:12Shut up, shut up right now.
08:14Oh, my God.
08:15No me diga Bianca is not coming to the reunion.
08:17You are kidding me.
08:18You are kidding me.
08:18I bet you she's going to stuff the ballad for best hair.
08:20If it's anything like high school, it's not the only thing she's going to be stepping.
08:26Oh, my God.
08:27That girl cannot post a picture on Instagram without using the Paris filter.
08:30I swear, girl.
08:32How's your utopia?
08:34We're all adjusting to progress.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Does this extra noise make it a little harder for me to focus on one woman's journey from
08:42lost to found?
08:43Sure.
08:43But that's a small price to pay.
08:45Hey, is that wild?
08:47Oh, isn't it incredible?
08:49Yeah, so far.
08:49I'm just having a little trouble getting into it.
08:51Hey, you wait until the moment where she uses heroin.
08:54I did not see it coming.
08:57Oh, my God.
08:58I swear.
08:59How does it feel to have something wonderful ruined?
09:02There's no way the Salazar twins are going.
09:04And one of them got ugly, I told you.
09:06I freaking culled it when I was 15 years old.
09:09I knew she was going to get fat.
09:10I am still stuck here, so tell the anesthesiologist that we'll be starting late.
09:15I guess just put my smoothie in the freezer.
09:17Straw out.
09:19Oh, I gotta go.
09:21I hear you're a doctor.
09:23I'm the manager bar.
09:24Well, Barb, you remind me a lot of my ex-wife.
09:28Because I'm waiting, waiting, waiting.
09:30Oh, what's that?
09:31We missed our flight?
09:32Seriously, this is worse than the ER.
09:34Listen, I can get you out of here quick.
09:38If you do me a small little favor.
09:41Teat for tat.
09:42You're saying if I help you, you'll bump me to the front of the line?
09:46I'm not gonna give you any pills, though.
09:48I don't have my prescription pad on me.
09:50Actually, you know what?
09:50Let me see if I have any loosies in my purse.
09:53I usually got a couple of those suckers in here.
09:56What, lady?
09:57You think just because you're a doctor I'm gonna bump you up to the front of the line?
10:01Get out of here!
10:02Uh-oh.
10:04Go!
10:04A legal move by the doctor!
10:07Go!
10:08Double back to test.
10:11You gotta go!
10:13Okay.
10:14I actually, I do want to get you a prescription for something, but we can talk about that later.
10:20Okay.
10:37Hey, Greg.
10:39Colette turned me on to this new book, The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.
10:43Have you read this?
10:43It's not new.
10:45How can you both be like this?
10:47Where is Colette?
10:49I don't know.
10:50I'm not so sure.
10:50But have you read this?
10:52I don't need to read it.
10:53Colette talked to me about it for 10,000 hours.
10:56Oh, my God, Greg.
10:57That is a major premise of this book.
11:18So you're just gonna stay straight.
11:19You won't turn right until you hit the hot dog stand with the wiener man on the top.
11:22Here's a random question to pass time during the driving test.
11:25Do you feel like you have a fever?
11:28Fever?
11:29Headache.
11:29Tenderness.
11:30Difficulty urinating.
11:31Whoa.
11:32What's with the geish?
11:35Interrogage?
11:38Um, all the questions.
11:40I have a friend who'd be perfect for you.
11:43I hate her.
11:45Anyway, your ear is oozing on my headrest.
11:47Tell me, can you hear this?
11:50Hear what?
11:51What, do you not know how to snap?
11:53I mean, everyone knows it's like this.
11:56Oh, God.
11:57I can't make a sound either.
11:58What's wrong?
11:59Are we dead?
12:01Here, drive into that tree.
12:03No, you can make a sound.
12:05You just can't hear it because your ear's infected.
12:08I'm a doctor.
12:09Well, surgeon.
12:10I make six figures, and that's after settlements.
12:14Anyway, your manager asked me to take a look.
12:17Barb put you up to this?
12:18I don't know.
12:19All I can see is a vest.
12:22Barb.
12:22You had a doctor examine me while I was examining her?
12:26What kind of a confusing one-hour procedural drama is this?
12:30I'm sorry, but you needed medical attention.
12:32That's the only kind of attention I don't need.
12:39What's the diagnosis, Doc?
12:40The diagnosis is that the DMV sucks.
12:47And also, that man does need antibiotics and possibly a psych eval.
12:53That's what I thought.
12:54In fact, I would recommend a psych eval for nearly everyone who works here.
13:02Whoa, what is going on?
13:05Why is everyone in my, um, in Patty's office?
13:09Uh-oh.
13:10Looks like somebody sent all the riffraff here so that he could have some peace at his desk.
13:15Sorry about your secret hideaway.
13:17It's not a secret hideaway.
13:18It is just a place to come between stressful driving tests that, you know, is free from the stank of
13:23microwaved fish.
13:24But you didn't tell anyone about it, which is curious because I thought you didn't want any division.
13:29I don't.
13:30It's just, there's a lot of them, and not to generalize, but they are loud, and they chew their mouths
13:37open.
13:38And this is why things are the way they are, and it's pointless to make a change.
13:42It's not pointless.
13:43It's important.
13:44I just, I didn't know how many of them would be on a break so often, and I'm just trying
13:49to get away for a few minutes
13:50to read a book that I already know the ending of because someone ruined it for me,
13:55but I can't even sit at my desk because my chair is covered in rhinestones.
13:59But then I finally find a little space for myself, and I walk in a seat.
14:02It's also been taken over by a bunch of frickin' counties.
14:08Classic Deb, right?
14:17Did you just call us counties?
14:19Oh my God, I can't believe that I said that.
14:22Wow, Clip.
14:23Just wow.
14:24I have never used that word before, except when discussing municipal geography like L.A. County.
14:31Sorry, I said it again.
14:32No, no, no.
14:33Admit it.
14:34You're a Deb.
14:35A driving examiner baby.
14:38Sassy, I was just trying to bring everyone together.
14:40I don't know why, because you clearly think you are so much better than us.
14:43You know what?
14:44Counties, let's go back to where we came from, okay?
14:47You don't have to go.
14:47We can all stay like Scotty, my boy.
14:50Noah, please.
14:51We're so good, right?
14:53Monica, Jill, I mean, Joyce, is it?
14:56It's Jillois.
14:56You went to her wedding.
14:57Jillois, how's that flatware working out?
15:00You know what I think, Colette?
15:01I think you'll never understand what it feels like to work behind a counter because you haven't had to.
15:05That's why you're so clueless.
15:07Oh, look, you got your secret place back again.
15:11What am I supposed to do?
15:12I can't go back in time and work the counter.
15:16You're going to say unless...
15:18Unless?
15:19Yep.
15:21Claire, what are you doing?
15:23The work, Noah.
15:25I'm doing the work.
15:28Specifically, though, what is the work?
15:29Is there a login?
15:32You know, I'll figure it out.
15:34Okay.
15:34When Barb gave me permission, she didn't exactly tell me what to do.
15:38Hello, sir.
15:39Welcome to the DMV.
15:41I need this boat registered by noon or I lose my kids.
15:43I didn't know that we did water vehicles.
15:46How about that?
15:47Noah, is there a boat button?
15:50It really threw me in the deep end here.
15:51Ha, ha, boat humor.
15:59Whoops, I have locked myself out.
16:06Yeah, I'd like to go on the record to say...
16:09Whoops.
16:09I've been locked out again.
16:11Could you...
16:12I need a little help for me.
16:13Okay, am I on a hidden camera show or something?
16:15Just a minute.
16:18It's not working.
16:19That one's dead.
16:20You need some better...
16:21We need some better saplers.
16:22Ah, great.
16:25Wow, you're not going to believe it, but I just locked you out.
16:29I locked you out.
16:30Excuse me.
16:30Ah, Colette, I cannot take this fine doctor's photos because...
16:35Her paperwork is not correct.
16:37Isn't it?
16:38Oh, so these are all going to...
16:39Oh!
16:41You know what?
16:42I just won't drive.
16:52You wanted to see me?
16:54Oh, yeah.
16:55Oh, I get it.
16:56You're going to stab me in the back for real this time.
16:58A guy with your build.
16:59I would need a seven-inch serrated knife to reach your vital organs.
17:03No, silly.
17:04I'm cutting the crust off your grilled cheese.
17:06Grilled cheese.
17:08Okay, you've got five minutes.
17:10I made it just the way you like it.
17:12Keto bread, mozzarella, and two baby balls.
17:15With the wax still on.
17:17Thanks.
17:19So, this anti-doctor thing.
17:20Did you read it online, or...
17:25No, I'm just...
17:27I'm scared.
17:29I'm scared of a lot of things.
17:31Like my Aunt Judy whenever the Browns lose,
17:33which is basically all the time.
17:37So, the last time I saw my Meemaw was right before she went to the hospital for hip surgery.
17:42They told her everything was going to be okay.
17:45I went to the foster system right after that.
17:48Oh, buddy.
17:50That's why I don't like doctors.
17:52Now I need a grilled cheese.
17:55Well, let's go have these.
17:57What?
17:58Are these pills?
18:01Were you...
18:01Seriously?
18:02Were you trying to drug me?
18:03They're muscle relaxers.
18:04I slipped them in there to try to take you to urgent care against your will.
18:07Seriously?
18:08I'm sorry, buddy.
18:09It's just that...
18:10This...
18:12is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
18:16You really care, Barb.
18:17Of course.
18:18You're my special guy.
18:19Well, if I go to the doctor, would you come with?
18:21Yeah, sure.
18:22And maybe milkshakes after?
18:24Yeah, sure.
18:25And stop by the mall for back-to-school sneakers?
18:28Milkshakes.
18:31The counter is no joke.
18:33I barely had time to check my texts or, like, cry quietly into the crook of my elbow.
18:38Quietly?
18:38Mama, I heard you wailing louder than when you found out chipmunks only live to be three years old.
18:42Their little hearts beat so fast.
18:45I-I can't believe that I worked here for so long without understanding what you deal with.
18:51You guys are warriors.
18:53Aw.
18:54Well, hey, we were also saying that we kind of impressed with you two.
18:59You were?
18:59Ceci, you said that?
19:00I didn't say it.
19:02I maybe shrugged when he said it.
19:05Aw.
19:05All right, put it back in your pants.
19:06Relax.
19:07We were just saying that no other driving examiners have ever voluntarily come and worked the counters with us.
19:13Well, I'll be back tomorrow.
19:15I'm going to talk to Barb, move some things around.
19:17And this time, I will know that an Audi is a type of car, not a belly button.
19:21You know, no need to come back.
19:22You know, be the change you wish to see in the world and all the places you'll go.
19:26Yeah.
19:27No, no, yeah.
19:27You did great. Noah, help me, please.
19:28You crushed it.
19:29Crushed.
19:29You don't want me to work the counter again because I sucked at it.
19:32You were so terrible.
19:33Very true, yes.
19:34Yeah.
19:34Someone named Colette came through my line, took us a full hour to figure out what was going on.
19:38Look, you may not be built for county life, but you know what else you're not?
19:43A deb.
19:44Because a deb would never admit they suck.
19:46I guess I'm in my own special category, just like my gynecologist says.
19:50Hmm.
19:51Okay, no more counter work.
19:52But starting today, I'm going to take the trash out.
19:55I am.
19:55Oh, thank you so much.
19:57I was actually lying when I said that I enjoyed doing it.
20:00Even though I've put in enough hours to be an expert on it now.
20:04You started Outliers?
20:06Yeah, that new book, yeah.
20:07Oh, my God.
20:08No way, you guys.
20:09Tell me more.
20:09Really?
20:10Really?
20:10No, I'm just practicing holding a conversation with a bunch of boring sixes for my high school reunion later.
20:15Bye.
20:16Bye.
20:18Six?
20:18If we're averaging a six, she thinks I'm a three.
20:26All right, he splatter-painted the hood of the tourist ten minutes ago, so he's got to be in there.
20:31You remember the plan?
20:3110-4.
20:32I flush him out and you flank him from the side.
20:35Classic tank and flank.
20:37Cheers.
20:38Huh.
20:39Is that shiny little piece of foil?
20:42I'm going to go check it out.
20:44Okay.
20:50Are those buttons trailing from the tree?
20:54Vic, it's a trap!
20:56It's a trap!
20:57Help!
20:58God!
20:58God bless you!
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