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00:19¡SuscrÃbete al canal!
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06:17¿Y el informe es?
06:19¡SuscrÃbete al canal!
06:21¡SuscrÃbete al canal!
06:22¡Out of all of that casted characters in Trump's cabinet,
06:24who does the Iranian government want to talk with the most?
06:28¡Vance!
06:28¡I don't think anyone has ever wanted to talk to J.D. Vance,
06:31and I would include his wife and children in that list.
06:35Here's the answer.
06:36We're hearing from sources at CNN who tell my colleague, Kylie Atwood,
06:39that Iran has actually expressed a preference
06:42for engaging in talks with the vice president, J.D. Vance.
06:45One of the sources told us that the perception is that Vance would be intent on wrapping up the conflict,
06:51more so than the other officials.
06:53Also, J.D. Vance is the most likely to become the new American Ayatollah, so it does make some sense.
06:59You know for a fact that they insist on having J.D. Vance because they want to see if his
07:05head is really that size.
07:10They're going to be like, hey, welcome, try this hat on.
07:17He's a one-man argument against the concept of white supremacy.
07:23Now, our administration is saying that the war is starting to ramp down.
07:28They said that the Iranian excursion is almost over.
07:31Question, though, what signs are happening right now that might indicate that we're still at war?
07:38Bombs.
07:38Bombs.
07:40What comes after the bombs?
07:41Didn't they send another 10,000 troops?
07:44Troops.
07:44Points right there, yes!
07:46The Wall Street Journal reports that the Pentagon is weighing sending another 10,000 U.S. ground troops to the
07:52Middle East.
07:53That's according to Department of Defense officials with knowledge of the planning.
07:57Yeah, because we won.
07:58We're going to have the ticker tape parade with all those troops in the middle of Tehran.
08:03And they're all going to be greeting us like liberators.
08:05Our president has sent the troops, but surely he has a good reason for sending the troops.
08:10He knows more about the conflict than anyone.
08:13Anyone.
08:14How does our president get his daily updates about what is happening in Iran?
08:20So he has folded up a cootie catcher.
08:24And then when you come in, he asks you your favorite color, and then number, and then he flips that
08:31open, and that will tell him what has happened.
08:36Military officials make Trump a video update that shows the biggest, most successful strikes, which typically runs for about two
08:44minutes, and mostly shows clips of stuff blowing up.
08:48I'm actually surprised he can pay attention for two minutes.
08:52I know.
08:53I had the under on that mug.
08:55Two minutes, that's pretty great.
08:57He's 100% watching that on the toilet.
08:59I'm sorry to tell you.
09:00There is no way that man is not watching that.
09:03He's getting a video compilation of a war that has the potential to reshape the entire world that lasts shorter
09:10than the top ten highlights on SportsCenter.
09:14But once again, from a visa perspective, I think that is very smart, and it frees him up to think
09:19about other things in the day.
09:20So on Thursday, the president said Iran is still begging to make a deal.
09:27They are begging to make a deal, not me.
09:30They're begging to make a deal.
09:31The Iranian regime is now admitting to itself that they have been decisively defeated.
09:37They're saying to people, this is a disaster.
09:41Let's get back to the whole war thing now.
09:43In the midst of all of this back and forth of whether or not we're winning the war, losing the
09:46war, whether or not there is a war,
09:48Iran has found a new weapon to fight back against America, and Trump specifically.
09:54Question, what is Iran's new weapon against Trump?
09:58Oh, videos, those crazy videos, those crazy AI videos.
10:02Hey, Taram, you are fired.
10:03You are familiar with this sentence.
10:05Thank you for your attention to this matter.
10:10Thank you for your attention to this matter.
10:13Do you think Trump just think that was Mom Donnie from New York City?
10:18Here's another Iranian video trolling Trump.
10:35And they did it using his favorite toy, Lego suit.
10:40Lean into the decline of America.
10:44Join us in the expired military powers pile.
10:48Yeah, this week's golden slot bucket for biggest mess at home goes to America's airports.
10:55Americans suffer hours-long wait times at some of the nation's largest airports.
10:59Sneaking around three different floors.
11:01Probably about a quarter of a mile from the main checkpoint area.
11:05The line continues to go.
11:11What is the problem with the airports right now?
11:15They aren't paying TSA.
11:16So then TSA workers aren't showing up.
11:18Or they quit.
11:19The TSA has been on the verge of a total meltdown for over a month thanks to congressional failure to
11:24pass DHS funding.
11:26But in the wee hours of Friday morning, the Senate approved funding for most of DHS.
11:32The Senate wakes up Friday morning.
11:34They go, we're going to pay TSA.
11:35We're not going to give more money to ICE.
11:37House has to just do the same thing.
11:39Everybody gets paid.
11:40How do you think the House voted?
11:42They didn't and then went on vacation.
11:45Oh, shit.
11:45New legislature.
11:46Who dis?
11:49Double points.
11:51The Republicans said not in this House.
11:55Breaking news in the fight to fund the Department of Homeland Security.
11:58Just last hour, Republican House Speaker Mike Johnson railed against the bill that unanimously passed in the Republican-led Senate
12:05overnight.
12:06One of Mike Johnson's issues with the funding package was that it didn't include funding for ICE,
12:11who, mind you, is already flush with cash thanks to last year's big, beautiful bill.
12:15Here's Johnson.
12:16The Republicans are not going to be a party to this.
12:19They have taken hostage the funding processes of government so that they can impose their radical agenda on the American
12:25people when we can't have any part of it.
12:27Yes, the radical agenda of paying TSA workers.
12:30You know, he's going to make a great contestant on Dancing with the Stars.
12:37Now, meanwhile, while the airports are in trouble this week, the acting head of TSA told Congress that airline passengers
12:42are seeing, quote,
12:43the highest wait times in history, with over 480 TSA officers having quit since the shutdown began.
12:51But thankfully, one man is ready to meet the challenge.
12:55Who is Trump counting on to restore order to America's airports?
13:00He, man.
13:04Mark Wayne Mullin?
13:05You got to say it Oklahoma, Texas style.
13:07Oh, I got it.
13:07Mark Wayne Mullin!
13:09Point!
13:11Yes, Trump is counting on newly confirmed secretary of the DHS and the only beaver who wasn't in hoppers, Mark
13:18Wayne Mullin.
13:21Secretary Mullin is the former senator from Oklahoma, and at his swearing-in ceremony this week, even Trump was surprised
13:28by some of his qualifications.
13:30He's the only Native American.
13:32I didn't know that, huh?
13:33Let me look at you.
13:35I think it's all right.
13:37He's, uh, he's got the, he's got great quality, I can tell you.
13:41I didn't know that.
13:42Native American.
13:43Wait a minute.
13:47At his swearing-in ceremony, Mark Wayne Mullin wasted no time, and he took a moment to discuss meeting with
13:52unpaid DHS workers.
13:54They're working for free because of political politics.
13:58That's all I need to know.
13:59Political politics?
14:00Political politics are the worst kind of politics.
14:04On Friday, Trump signed an order for Mark Wayne to start emergency payment for TSA workers by next week.
14:10How else has the administration been helping those struggling airport workers through this crisis?
14:17Ice, ice.
14:18Ice, yeah.
14:19You got ice right there, helping out.
14:21Doing everything.
14:21Triple points, yes.
14:23The White House offered the same solution they have for every problem in this country.
14:27They put a little ice on it.
14:29Other airports across the country are seeing big changes as ice is deployed to assist the TSA.
14:36I saw an ice person, and it was a black woman.
14:40Oh.
14:41Yes, I did.
14:42I saw her.
14:43It's a black woman.
14:45I saw her.
14:45Yeah.
14:45I was like, what?
14:46I was shocked.
14:47Shocked.
14:48And then I was like, well, maybe ice isn't bad.
14:51But then I remembered.
14:53That's how they get you.
14:56This is what they've been doing for the most part today, is doing the patrols around the airport,
15:01uh, talking and gathering, uh, not really helping the public.
15:05Question.
15:06What's the big difference between ice agents working airport security and a TSA agent?
15:12None of them are trained to do anything.
15:14They're trained to beat the shit out of people.
15:16And they're really good at it, you guys.
15:19This is the meathead Gestapo.
15:22Well, what's happening with ice in the airports is, uh, actually a precursor.
15:26Yes, yeah.
15:27According to former White House chief strategist and, uh, Chernobyl werewolf, uh, Steve Bannon.
15:33And human unmade bed.
15:37According to the human unmade bed Steve Bannon, ice is just warming up.
15:43The ice agents at the airport, they're trained to, wait for it, check IDs.
15:48That's why it's perfect training for the fall of 2026.
15:52Because, folks, we're tired of having elections stolen.
15:54A lot of Republicans have already been threatening, uh, to send ice to polling places.
15:59They've been threatening that for months.
16:00And, uh, also voting without a passport isn't the only freedom the White House is coming for.
16:05Question.
16:06What other voting right does Trump want to get rid of?
16:09Voting.
16:11Yeah.
16:13Right?
16:14Yes.
16:15But before that.
16:17Voting by mail, which he does in every election.
16:19Here's the president.
16:20We're the only country that does mail-in voting.
16:24Mail-in voting means mail-in cheating.
16:26I call it mail-in cheating.
16:27Dozens of other countries have mail-in voting.
16:30And it's existed in America since the Civil War.
16:33Which, I'm sure, the outcome of which the president is not that happy about either.
16:39Why might his campaign against mail-in voting be a little against his own messenger?
16:45It's because he voted by mail.
16:47At the last election, he voted by mail.
16:49At this election, he just did it.
16:50Because of the fact that I'm president of the United States, I did a mail-in ballot for elections that
16:56took place in Florida.
16:57Because I felt I should be here instead of being in the beautiful sunshine taking-
17:02So you were in Tall Beach, sir, the last few weeks.
17:04That's right.
17:04And I, yeah.
17:05And I decided that I was going to vote by mail-in ballot because I couldn't be there.
17:10We'll be right back.
17:18Welcome back.
17:20It's time for the Offender Meter.
17:22Teams have to tell us who's the offender, what they did, and who they offended.
17:26Let us begin.
17:27Let's see your offender.
17:28Who is that offender, teams?
17:30It's a white man wearing black lady glasses.
17:34He's such a fucking loser.
17:38No matter what he does.
17:39And I say this as a proud member of the LC, the loser community, that all the money in the
17:44world cannot stop you from looking like someone is about to put you in a bin.
17:48But those glasses, like, do something, right?
17:51They record something?
17:53Yeah, they do.
17:53What the fuck?
17:54They're meta glasses, yeah.
17:55Now, in that bloke, it definitely makes whoever you're talking to immediately naked.
17:59There's no way that he has not got that technology going in those glasses.
18:03All right.
18:03Well, let's see.
18:04Who did Mark Zuckerberg offend?
18:06He offended a jury and lost a big case in California.
18:09Well, to start, Mark Zuckerberg offended kids.
18:13Seen here using a bunch of words you'll never understand because you're old.
18:16The thing that annoys me about all of these people is they sort of presented themselves as like this new
18:20generation of rich people.
18:21And we should have known that they were bad because they called themselves disruptors.
18:24And disruption is bad.
18:26If I go to the supermarket right now and take my penis out, that's extremely, it's not extremely disruptive.
18:33It's low to average disruptive.
18:37And if I do it in the freezer aisle, it barely constitutes an interruption.
18:40I was wondering where that was going.
18:43I guess earlier this week, verdicts came back in two cases where plaintiffs were suing meta in New Mexico after
18:51a six week trial there.
18:52It only took one day of deliberations before the jury came back with this.
18:56A jury in New Mexico has ruled that meta is liable for misleading users and failed to protect children from
19:03online sex predators.
19:05The social media giant now has to cough up the speed of which, I'm sorry, excuse me, $375 million in
19:12civil penalties.
19:13That's a method reporter though.
19:17You have to cough up.
19:20So now, what did state government officials do to show how meta enables predators?
19:27They pretended they were a 13-year-old girl and immediately got child abusers to, um, to be attracted to
19:33them.
19:34Well, you know, this show is obviously a remake of the English show.
19:37And we've actually, back in England, done a remake of To Catch a Predator, which is how we got Andrew.
19:45Yes, points to Kara.
19:47Uh, they used decoys.
19:49In New Mexico, adult agents created social media accounts posing as children.
19:5513 years old.
19:56Former employees from meta did not have great things to say about their employer.
20:00Ex-engineer Arturo Bahar said, quote,
20:02The product is very good at connecting people with interests.
20:06And if your interest is little girls, it will be really good at connecting you with little girls.
20:14So wait, Trump's on Facebook?
20:17Allegedly. Allegedly.
20:19The trial in New Mexico was the first body blow, uh, to meta.
20:22Another one came from California, uh, to better explain the California case, here's CNN's Casey Hunt.
20:28Big text, big tobacco moment?
20:30It may have just arrived.
20:31A jury in California found YouTube and meta liable on all counts in a social media case that accused the
20:37tech giants of intentionally addicting a young woman and causing harm to her mental health.
20:43The verdict ordered meta and Google to pay the young woman to combine $6 million in damages.
20:49That's a parking ticket for Mark Zuckerberg.
20:51The kind of infinite scroll technology, it kind of comes from slot machines and stuff.
20:55It's deliberately addictive to children.
20:57Yeah.
20:58Meta also got some other bad news this week.
21:00Uh, anyone know what meta is essentially getting rid of?
21:04This guy is such a douche.
21:06That he made a whole world just so he could have some friends and so few people wanted to go
21:14that he's had to shut it down.
21:17He's unpopular in a reality he created.
21:22This man is our Martin Luther King.
21:25Martin loser king.
21:30This is the way Zuckerberg introduced meta.
21:32Imagine, put on your glasses or headset and you're instantly in your home space.
21:37Hey, are you coming?
21:39Yeah, just got to find something to wear.
21:43You know, to be fair, at the time we all thought it was douchey.
21:46So it's just not, it's not a, no one thought it would work except for him.
21:50He's amazing.
21:51He's like, imagine a world in which you text someone, want to go for a beer?
21:55And they reply, yes.
21:56Crazy, I know.
21:58How, how does our government expect it to regulate algorithms and things that they don't completely understand?
22:04Get rid of Citizens United because they, these companies are allowed, or, or, or hollow it out.
22:11Can you regulate social media in a way that it's not addictive?
22:14Can you regulate planes, trains, automobiles?
22:17This deli on the corner has more regulations than Facebook or meta.
22:20And so that kind of begs the question of why.
22:23Yeah, but the deli on the corner serves egg salad.
22:24That's true.
22:26Let's see your offender.
22:28Oh, my God.
22:29Who's this offender, panel?
22:31He's the president of the Mile High Club, I think.
22:33Is that right?
22:34Yeah.
22:35Corey Lewandowski.
22:36Yes, yes.
22:37Christine Ohm's alleged friend.
22:40Yeah, that's government advisor Corey Lewandowski.
22:42Yes.
22:43Government advisor and special friend.
22:45Yeah.
22:45It's two titles.
22:47Go back to that pitch.
22:48You look like a drunk t-ball coach.
22:50Get it together, you little bitches.
22:53Corey Lewandowski offended the CEO of the GEO Group.
22:57Oh, right.
22:58Also, I'm the only guy who apparently bids on weird paintings at auctions.
23:02Yeah.
23:03The prison guy.
23:04Yeah, George Zoli.
23:05Yes, yes, indeed.
23:06How did Corey Lewandowski offend Mr. Zoli?
23:09This guy runs the prisons, and Corey Lewandowski asked him essentially for a bribe.
23:13That's what he's alleging.
23:14And he's like, I only give bribes directly to President Trump.
23:18Yes, George Zoli's company, GEO Group, is the largest owner of detention centers in the United States.
23:25But question to the panel, does anyone want to remind people who Corey Lewandowski is?
23:30He hit on Kristi Noem.
23:33I don't know, he hit on Kristi Noem.
23:34He just hit that.
23:37Corey was, of course, an unpaid special aide to former Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem.
23:41And if you're not sure what I meant by special aide, just imagine that I'm winking when I say it.
23:46And when you say unpaid, you should also wink when you say it, because he was making a lot of
23:51money.
23:51Recently, an NBC News investigation revealed that GEO and several other companies complained that Lewandowski allegedly stood to personally profit
24:01from the DHS contracting process.
24:04Because all the contracts had to go through her.
24:07Anything above $100,000 had to go to her.
24:10Yeah, in other words, old Corey was allegedly asking government contractors for bribes.
24:16Lewandowski told the founder of GEO Group that he wanted to, quote,
24:19be paid in exchange for protecting and growing GEO Group's DHS contracts.
24:25Protecting and growing is doing a lot of work there.
24:27Yes, Jen Psaki.
24:29Yeah.
24:29Now, according to sources, they met with them a second time.
24:32And when they still refused to pay up, quote,
24:35Lewandowski allegedly told a senior DHS official not to award more contracts to GEO Group.
24:42I'm fine with GEO Group not getting any more contracts for detention centers.
24:46I like that.
24:46Fuck both those motherfuckers.
24:49Soliciting bribes for government contracts is clearly illegal.
24:52But don't worry.
24:52According to the New York Post, Corey has a plan for any possible crimes he could be accused of and
24:58charged with.
24:59Question to the panel.
25:01Does anyone know what Corey's plan is?
25:03I'm assuming he's just counting on a pardon, right?
25:05I mean, isn't that what everybody in the Trump administration is counting on?
25:08Points.
25:11According to the Post sources, at one point, Lewandowski said, quote,
25:15I do whatever the fuck I want.
25:16DJ T will pardon me.
25:19That's right.
25:19I can do whatever I want.
25:20I've got a 79-year-old friend.
25:23His hand's kind of rotten.
25:24He's gonna save me so long as he remembers who I am.
25:29Fana, why is it ironic that George Zoli makes tens of millions of dollars detaining immigrants?
25:35Is he an immigrant?
25:37That would be the irony.
25:38Is he married to an immigrant?
25:39Because it really feels like a lot of these people really hate their wives.
25:44That's not fair.
25:45They hate all women.
25:48Points to Michael.
25:49It's because George is an immigrant.
25:52He was born in Greece and entered the U.S. through Ellis Island when he was three years old.
25:58Oh.
25:58Yes.
25:59This man came as an immigrant and now is shutting the door and locking up all the immigrants.
26:03It'd be like if Fievel locked up Ratatouille.
26:05Like if Ratatouille came over here and Fievel was like, I don't know you, bitch.
26:09You cooking bitch.
26:10Technically, Ratatouille could come as a skilled worker because he's a very, very good chef.
26:15This is just Stuart Little erasure and I won't have it.
26:18I won't have it.
26:20Because Corey was basically an unpaid intern, the federal rules state that he can only work
26:25for the department for less than 130 days.
26:28So question, how did Corey sidestep that rule?
26:32He snuck in, but he came in behind her, so to speak.
26:37Yeah.
26:38Cara, come on.
26:39Cara.
26:39Well, he did.
26:40This show has definitely got way more butt stuff than the U.K.
26:44CNN insists on it, by the way.
26:46According to sources, Lewandowski was sidestepping it by, quote, arriving or departing the building
26:51alongside Ms. Noam so he didn't have to use his badge.
26:55And when people took notes on meetings he was in, they didn't use his name.
27:00If you don't use my name, there's no record of me being here.
27:02It doesn't count against my 130-day max.
27:05That was the Fendimenter.
27:06We'll be right back.
27:18Welcome back.
27:20Panel, it is time for Lie Curious.
27:24I'll give you three biographical details about a public figure, but only one is true.
27:28You have to guess which is the truth and which are erroneous, felonious, folky lies.
27:33So let's get started.
27:34Time for three facts about pop star Miley Cyrus.
27:39All right.
27:40I love her.
27:40That's Miley Cyrus.
27:42No, this is embarrassing.
27:43That's Hannah Montana.
27:46Our facts are she owns several plots of land on the moon.
27:50She started her own line of chewing tobacco.
27:53She has a paper phobia.
27:55Team Amber, which one is the truth?
27:57Owns land on the moon is fun.
27:59Yeah.
28:00My eye is drawn to paper phobia just because it's so weird.
28:04Yeah.
28:04Like, what even is that?
28:06I don't love paper.
28:07My friend has a paper phobia, and it's real.
28:10And every time he goes to the bathroom when we're out, I take the napkin from under his
28:15drink, and I crumple it up, and I put it in his chair.
28:17And when he comes back, he sits on it, and he fucking freaks out.
28:23I have a follow-up question about his paper phobia.
28:26When he goes to the bathroom, if he's, I believe, if I may borrow some of the local
28:31dialect, dropped a deuce, how's he wiping up that mess?
28:36Yeah.
28:37To be graphic, he wipes it like this.
28:44And, uh, and, uh, Miley Cyrus has a paper phobia.
28:53Last year, Miley opened up about her fear of paper.
28:56Here's Miley telling Jimmy Kimmel about her big fear.
29:00I hate paper.
29:02Like, looking at that makes me want to vomit.
29:04The real problem for me with paper is when, when people have dry hands, and they touch
29:13paper, and then it's Christmas, and it's cold, and everyone's hands are dry, and they're
29:17all touching paper.
29:20Let's cleanse the palate.
29:21Amber, how do you wipe his ass again?
29:27Time for three facts about former TV journalist and adult Bratz doll, Lauren Sanchez.
29:33Now, facts about Lauren Sanchez are she was a consultant on the Christopher Nolan movie
29:39Dunkirk.
29:40She has access to a secret Amazon where everything is free.
29:44Her engagement ring is made of bones.
29:47Team Michael.
29:48Engagement ring made of bones.
29:50That sounds good, doesn't it?
29:50It sounds good.
29:51It's real, like, late-period French aristocracy energy.
29:55Maybe it was made out of the bones of Louis XIV.
29:57We're going with engagement ring made of bones.
30:00Team Amber.
30:01She used to be a helicopter lady.
30:02What?
30:03There weren't helicopters in World War II, Cara.
30:06I know, but she flies, too.
30:07She does pictures on Instagram all the time, her boobs and flying and head things.
30:13I'm a fan.
30:14I'm a fan.
30:15We will say she was a consultant on the movie Dunkirk.
30:19Yeah.
30:20Lauren Sanchez is a helicopter pilot who served as a consultant on Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk.
30:27Lauren Sanchez also parlayed her experience as co-host of Good Day L.A. into TV reporter roles on screen
30:33in films like The Day After Tomorrow, Fantastic Four, White House Down, Ted 2, and We Bought a Zoo.
30:40And, as a matter of fact, here's a clip of her doing the same in the movie Fight Club.
30:43That was Police Commissioner Jacobs who just arrived on the scene here of a four-alarm fire that broke out
30:48about an hour ago.
30:49Live from the Parker Morris building, Lauren Sanchez, back to you in the studio.
30:53How the fuck does Lauren Sanchez have a better acting career than me?
30:59Let's play a minigame.
31:00I'll give you the famous person.
31:02You tell me what they are afraid of.
31:06Panel, what is Barack Obama afraid of?
31:09Nothing.
31:15Oh, sorry.
31:17Michelle.
31:23Barack Obama is afraid of snowmen.
31:27What?
31:27Specifically, he said the snowman decorations at the White House freaked him out because they had, quote,
31:32a whole kind of Chucky element to them.
31:36Man up, man.
31:37It's not like the snowmen at the White House look all scary.
31:40Let's take a look at them things.
31:42Oh, my God.
31:45This has been Live Curious.
31:46We're after the break.
31:57Welcome back.
31:58It is time for Missing Words.
32:02Here's your headline.
32:03New York jumps to number three for blank.
32:06New York jumps to number three for cities where rats have nicer apartments than you.
32:13I read the New York Post every day.
32:15It's alien abductions.
32:16Yes.
32:17Yes, yes, indeed.
32:18New York jumps to number three for U.S. alien abductions.
32:24In a new study conducted by Canadian Gambling Website, which is one of our major sources.
32:32What's happened to this country, man?
32:34They got rid of CBS radio and now you're having to get your news from Canadian gambling websites?
32:39We're doing the best we can.
32:43The state of New York is now the third most likely place to get abducted in the United States, reporting
32:50over 8,300 UFO sightings since 1974, or essentially one for every 1,003 residents.
32:59So, which state won the crown as the country's number one UFO hotspot?
33:05Florida.
33:06Ohio.
33:07It's a swing state.
33:07It's got to be a swing state.
33:10The number one state for UFO sightings is Delaware.
33:14What?
33:15What?
33:16Yes, with one sighting for every 928 residents.
33:21But Delaware residents aren't the only ones prone to close encounters.
33:24A recent appointed Trump official once described experiencing something straight out of the X-Files.
33:29Question, does anyone know who this Trump official is?
33:32Christine Ohm, she looked in the mirror and was like, hey, what planet are you from?
33:38But it was her, it was herself.
33:41The Trump official is the head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery.
33:46Yeah.
33:46Greg Phillips is a far-right conspiracy theorist who once claimed on a podcast that he teleported to a Waffle
33:52House,
33:53which is what happens to all of us when you drink dark liquor.
33:58Here's Phillips telling the story to the Ownward podcast last year.
34:02I was with my boys one time and I was telling them I was going to go to Waffle House.
34:08And I ended up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was, Rome, Georgia.
34:13I said, that's not possible.
34:15You just left here like I wanted to go.
34:17He's drunk then.
34:21They wanted me to go to Waffle House.
34:23I went to Waffle House and then when I woke up, I was at Waffle House.
34:28But that...
34:29Here's your headline.
34:31Florida man caught on camera allegedly trying to steal blank.
34:35First base.
34:37His own piss.
34:38It wasn't his piss.
34:40He was trying to steal someone's piss.
34:43Florida man caught on camera allegedly trying to steal septic tanks.
34:50It was loads of people's piss.
34:54Here's the story.
34:55The man tried to take the septic tank by towing it with his 2013 Toyota Corolla.
35:01However, he nearly got caught and drove away.
35:04He returned the next day with a U-Haul and got it out.
35:07There's no police code for that.
35:09There is in Florida.
35:12Does anyone know why another Florida man who goes by the name Palm Beach Pete has been turning heads this
35:19month?
35:19Oh, no.
35:20He's been turning heads.
35:22I'm going to show you a picture of Palm Beach Pete.
35:24You look at this picture and you tell me what he looks like.
35:27Ha!
35:28Ha!
35:28Ha!
35:28Ha!
35:29Ha!
35:30Oh, my God.
35:33That's the unluckiest motherfucker on planet Earth.
35:37Oh, yes.
35:38Palm Beach Pete is making news because he keeps getting mistaken for Jeffrey Epstein.
35:43We all know Jeffrey Epstein, the popular New York financier.
35:48Wow.
35:49He's not known for anything else.
35:50We know him as the guy who tricked our prince.
35:52Yes.
35:54Here's the original video of someone spotting Pete on the highway.
36:01Epstein is alive.
36:03So, after that TikTok goes super viral, how do you think Palm Beach Pete responded?
36:09He shaved his head or put on a wig or he's a fucking idiot.
36:16Or maybe he's leaning into it and he's hiring himself out for birthday parties and stuff.
36:24Oh, my God.
36:26He's embracing the decline.
36:29Who's birthday party?
36:31Fuck it.
36:31I'm a...
36:32They're Trumps.
36:37Palm Beach Pete had a response to all the buzz.
36:41Here it is.
36:42I'm not Jeffrey Epstein.
36:43I'm Palm Beach Pete.
36:45That a boy, yeah.
36:47Okay.
36:47Peace out.
36:49Oh, my God.
36:50I will just say this.
36:51Palm Beach Pete, the more he makes videos, the less he's making a case for himself.
36:56That was missing words.
36:57More after the break.
37:06Welcome back.
37:07It's time for Which Is Higher?
37:09I'll give you two unrelated numbers from the news.
37:11You tell me.
37:12Which is higher?
37:13Warmer weather marks the inaugural It's Iconic tour featuring TLC, Salt-N-Pepa, and En Vogue.
37:22Oh, wow.
37:23It's a solid tour, which brings us to the question, which is higher, the number of cities
37:29that the It's Iconic tour will be doing shows in, or the number of cities that the Oscar
37:34Meyer Wienermobile will be touring this spring?
37:39The Wienermobile is everywhere.
37:41I agree with you.
37:42It's everywhere.
37:42But I feel like all those girl groups, something's going to happen.
37:46They're going to end that tour after three cities.
37:48I want them to have 20 dates, and I think I can hit all 20,
37:52because I'm fucking there.
37:55The number of cities that the It's Iconic tour will be doing shows in is 34 cities.
38:01And the number of cities where you can find the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile this spring is 23.
38:08So the number of cities on the It's Iconic tour is higher.
38:14But you know, Michael, fun fact, if you put TLC inside of a Wienermobile, you get a chili dog.
38:23That's beautiful.
38:25I've been very confused by this whole segment, and it's because in England, we call the Wienermobile the banger wagon.
38:38Sorry, guys.
38:39That was, I'm afraid to say, like, gun control in your health care system.
38:43That was lost in translation.
38:45Believe it or not, there's actually more than one of the iconic Oscar Mayer Wienermobiles.
38:50There's six different vehicles that go out across the country, depending on what region of the country you're in.
38:56But they all meet up once a year at a very special event.
39:01Does anyone know what brings all six of them sausages together?
39:07Wienerfest.
39:08Every year, the six Oscar Mayer Wienermobiles get together at something called the Weenie 500.
39:15An indie-style 500.
39:18We think race?
39:19Yeah, it's a race between all six of the big hot dog cars.
39:23Last year's Weenie 500 drew more than 8 million viewers and 80,000 in-person fans.
39:31Where is it this year?
39:3280,000 in-person fans, and it's easy to see why.
39:36Weenie!
39:38Slotra engines!
39:40To making the move!
39:42Slotra making the move!
39:43Up the inside!
39:45And the run into the air!
39:46The cracks!
39:47And over the line!
39:48It looks like it's gonna be the Slotra fire!
39:51No!
39:53That was Witches Hour.
39:54We'll be right back.
39:58Time for my favorite game called, Who's That Baby?
40:02I'll show you a famous person's picture, and you tell me, boy, who's that baby?
40:06That baby look just like Jimmy.
40:09Aww.
40:11One, they were born in Chicago, but grew up in Jersey.
40:14They once won $100,000 in a poker tournament, and they're one of two team captains appearing
40:20each week on Have I Got News For You.
40:22Oh, my God!
40:24That baby is Michael in your life!
40:27Michael, you are the most gorgeous baby on Earth.
40:31And yet, I'm an even more gorgeous man.
40:35Michael, of course, has an illustrious career in film and television, but his very first
40:40acting credit listed on his IMDb page is an instructional film titled, Cults Say No Under
40:47Pressure.
40:48And some good producers saw fit to make a safety video.
40:52Yes!
40:53There is footage!
40:56We really need great people like you in our group, John.
40:59We discuss politics, too, like how to improve the world.
41:03Yeah, it sure is a mess.
41:04But I don't have much time to worry about that.
41:07My parents are nagging me to get good grades.
41:09They want me to get a good job, be a big success, you know?
41:13I'd really like to get to know you better, John.
41:16A party would be fun.
41:18I could use a break.
41:24That was who's that baby.
41:25I want to thank our guests, Kara Swisher and Nish Kumar.
41:28And, of course, thank you to our team captains, Amber Ruffin and Michael Ian Black.
41:33Before we sign off, here are a few more stories we're watching.
41:38White House debuts newest Melania model.
41:43Department of War debuts new oxymoron.
41:48I'm Roy Wood Jr., and I'll see you in the fall for more episodes of Head Back to the News
41:53for You.
41:54And, Ben Carson, if you're out there, send us a signal.
41:58Are you okay, Ben Carson?
42:00Good night.
42:03Good night.
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