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00:13¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:38A quick look at Americans checking their 401Ks.
00:47Don Jr.'s morning regimen revealed.
00:50Fentanyl, heroin, meth, and cocaine.
00:53On Amherstine tonight, he's a comedian.
00:55He's been on Kimmel, NPR, and Comedy Central,
00:57and he's known for hilariously calling out racism
01:00wherever he sees it.
01:02Michael, maybe you should leave now.
01:04Uh, it's Hari Kondabol.
01:09And joining team Michael,
01:12he's an award-winning journalist
01:13who has won three Edward R. Murrow Awards
01:16and hosted NPR's All Things Considered
01:18until last year when I assume
01:20he ran out of things to consider.
01:22It's Hari Shapiro!
01:26Now, for the biggest stories of the week.
01:29Amber, Hari, watch the clips.
01:32Tell me, what is the story?
01:34Okay, this is our best friend.
01:36And that is a map.
01:38Straight up Hormuz.
01:39The doors are closed.
01:40So, I'm just gonna say
01:42this story is about
01:44how everyone hates us
01:45and they're right.
01:46Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:47I agree with that.
01:48Yes, the story is
01:49Donald Trump goes to war with the world
01:51and people abroad are not fans of it.
01:54But, how's it going here at home?
01:56If you could say something to President Trump
01:57and he was gonna hear you right now,
01:59what would it be?
02:01You're a worthless pile of .
02:05And you voted for him how many times?
02:07I voted for three times.
02:08That was my bad.
02:10Apparently, I'm an idiot.
02:15The most honest person in America.
02:17Three times.
02:18Now, as the war continues,
02:20President Trump seems perpetually surprised
02:22that Iran is actually fighting back
02:25during a war.
02:27So, now, Trump,
02:28a man who seems to burn bridges
02:30while he's only halfway across the bridge,
02:34has finally realized,
02:35oh, dear, I need help from other countries.
02:38How's that getting help from other countries going?
02:40Yeah, apparently,
02:41when you do stuff without asking people,
02:42they don't want to help you afterwards.
02:44Here's Vanna Bash
02:45with how some of our allies responded.
02:47Germany, this war has nothing to do with NATO.
02:49It's not NATO's war.
02:50UK, we will not be drawn into the wider war.
02:53Italy, Italy is not part of the conflict.
02:55Australia, we will not be sending a ship
02:57to the Strait of Hormuz.
02:58Japan, we are proceeding with consideration.
03:01We are considering his Japanese for fuck you.
03:06When Trump met with the Japanese Prime Minister,
03:09Sanai Takeshi, what happened in the meeting?
03:12He thought it would be a great idea
03:13to make a joke about bombing Pearl Harbor.
03:16Why didn't you tell US allies in Europe and Asia,
03:22like Japan, about the war before attacking Iran?
03:25We didn't tell anybody about it
03:26because we wanted surprise.
03:29Who knows better about surprise than Japan?
03:32Okay?
03:33Why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor?
03:35Okay? Right?
03:38To be fair, he got some laughs in the room.
03:40He got like two groans.
03:42I'll take it.
03:44Also love, he did the joke, it bombed.
03:47And then he goes, right?
03:50The ladies know what I'm talking about, right?
03:52He made the attack without telling the other countries.
03:55Because normally in war, you go,
03:56hey, I'm gonna go over there and punch them in the face,
03:58make sure you got my back.
03:59But Trump, instead, punched people in the face,
04:02and then came back and go,
04:03hey, I just punched them in the face.
04:05Would you mind helping me fight me?
04:08Here he is hedging his bets.
04:10We have the strongest military by far in the world.
04:12We don't need them.
04:13But it's interesting.
04:15I'm almost doing it in some cases,
04:17not because we need them,
04:18but because I want to find out how they react.
04:20Oh, he's going through the stages of grief.
04:22That's denied.
04:24According to Trump, it'll be, quote,
04:27very bad for the future of NATO
04:29if they don't help us.
04:31He's gonna bomb NATO.
04:34He's gonna bomb the hell out of NATO.
04:35Britain's former chief of the defense staff
04:37doesn't want NATO to get pulled into this war.
04:40NATO was created as a underlying four times defensive alliance.
04:44It was not an alliance that was designed
04:46for one of the allies to go on a war of choice
04:49and then oblige everybody else to follow.
04:51Is that red thing his heart rate?
04:55So now Trump's in a bit of a pickle.
04:57He started a war that no one wants to help in,
04:59and there's no clear way out of that war.
05:01But Trump is a scrappy guy who's always overcome adversity,
05:04and he's overcome adversity all by himself.
05:07He doesn't need people.
05:08Is Donald Trump a self-made man?
05:14The truth of the matter is that Donald Trump
05:15sees himself as self-made.
05:18In 2015, he was asked this question
05:21at an election town hall.
05:22With the exception of your family,
05:24have you ever been told no?
05:25It has not been easy for me.
05:27And, you know, I started off in Brooklyn.
05:29My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.
05:33The only thing he made himself was that color.
05:38That's great.
05:41From the very moment Donald Trump has started in business,
05:44there has always been somebody there
05:46to bail him out when he failed,
05:49and he has failed a lot.
05:50In fact, Wikipedia has a whole category called
05:55Businesses of Donald Trump that went bankrupt.
05:58And it has 24 separate pages.
06:03Question to the panel.
06:04What is your favorite failed Donald Trump business?
06:08I like the Trump Taj Mahal going down.
06:10That was always a big one.
06:11The casino, the Atlantic City casino.
06:12Yeah, because on behalf of India, fuck you.
06:17Well, of all the failed Trump businesses,
06:19there was this one.
06:21The Sharper Image is one of my favorite stores
06:24with fantastic products of all kinds.
06:27That's why I'm thrilled they agree with me.
06:30Trump's steaks are the world's greatest steaks,
06:32and I mean that in every sense of the word.
06:35How many senses of the word are there?
06:37Yeah.
06:39The bigger question is,
06:40why are you buying a steak at an electronics store?
06:44According to the former CEO of Sharper Image,
06:47which, quote,
06:48we literally sold almost no steaks.
06:52In every sense of the word.
06:55So the man who failed at casinos, failed at hotels,
06:58failed at steaks has gotten us into a war
07:00that he promised he would never start,
07:02and now he's resorting to what he always does
07:04when things aren't going his way.
07:06He blames other people.
07:07Does anyone know which one of our allies
07:11Trump threw under the bus on Wednesday night?
07:13He posted this long-truth social rant
07:15about Israel bombing an oil and gas field
07:19that was jointly owned by Qatar and Iran,
07:21and Qatar is a U.S. ally,
07:23and he said,
07:23Israel will never do that again,
07:25and Qatar,
07:26we're not going to bomb any more oil and gas fields,
07:28and tsk, tsk, shame on you.
07:30That is correct.
07:31Points to you, Ari.
07:32It was Israel.
07:33Wednesday night on Truth Social,
07:35Trump posted, quote,
07:36Israel, out of anger for what has taken place
07:39in the Middle East,
07:40has violently lashed out
07:41at a major facility in Iran.
07:43The United States knew nothing
07:45about this particular attack.
07:48This particular...
07:49You know how bad it's got to be
07:50for Trump to distance himself from you?
07:52He's still kicking with Rudy Giuliani.
07:56So Trump is, uh, cornered,
07:58he's alienated his allies,
08:00angered his supporters,
08:01and even some of his own staff won't back him up.
08:03There's only one option.
08:04Here's the president on Wednesday.
08:07I wonder what would happen
08:08if we, quote,
08:09finished off what's left
08:10of the Iranian terror state,
08:11and let the countries that use it,
08:13we don't,
08:14be responsible for the so-called strait.
08:16That would get some of our non-responsive allies
08:18in gear and fast,
08:19President DJT.
08:20He misspelled strait.
08:24Maybe it's like a Gulf of America
08:26type situation.
08:27Right, right, right.
08:27Yeah.
08:28So from now on,
08:29that will be how it is spelled.
08:33Michael and Ari,
08:34watch the clip.
08:35Tell me, what is the story?
08:36Capitol Hill.
08:37Okay.
08:38Oh, that's that guy,
08:39Bruce Wayne.
08:40Mark Wayne Mullen.
08:40I'm gonna go with Bruce Wayne.
08:41And then,
08:42Cruella de Vil.
08:43Yes, of course.
08:44Cash Patel.
08:46Yeah.
08:46Tulsi Gabbard, Cash Patel,
08:48went to the Capitol,
08:49and like all meetings with, uh,
08:52Trump officials,
08:53talking to congresspeople,
08:54it did not go well.
08:55The story is,
08:56while Trump's focus is on other countries,
08:58the Senate was focused on domestic matters
09:01this last week at the confirmation hearing
09:03for Trump's nominee to head up
09:05the Department of Homeland Security,
09:06Senator Mark Wayne Mullen.
09:09Looked like a business casual woodchuck
09:11right there.
09:13He says there's gonna be
09:13three more weeks of winter.
09:15Tell you what,
09:15there's gonna be three more weeks of winter.
09:17Confirmation hearing is to hold
09:19a prospective appointee's feet to the fire.
09:21And there's nobody better to do the scrutinizing
09:23than Iowa Senator Joni Ernst.
09:26I am going to say to the president,
09:28I am really upset that he has made your nomination.
09:32Why?
09:33Because I will be losing from the Senate
09:35one of the best friends that I have here.
09:39Truly.
09:43Siri, play End of the Road by Boyz II Men.
09:48One person really seemed to lead the charge
09:51against Senator Mullen in the hearing.
09:53Which Republican was it?
09:55Was it Rand Paul?
09:56The only senator who has his barber
09:58to make him look like the dude from The Bear.
10:00Look at that haircut.
10:01Senator Paul gave a hard no vote against Mullen,
10:05adding, quote,
10:06I think there are anger issues.
10:09You did many interviews
10:10in which you justified the violence
10:11as historically justified by precedents,
10:14such as caning and dueling.
10:16What I was simply pointing out
10:18is some of the rules
10:18that still apply to this body.
10:21Uh, for instance,
10:23uh, dueling with two consenting adults
10:24is still there.
10:25Uh, I was pointing out what is still...
10:28It's been illegal for 170 years.
10:30There's no precedent for legal dueling.
10:34We should bring back dueling.
10:36But only between two consenting adults.
10:38Well, question.
10:40Does anyone know
10:40where Rand and Mark Wayne's conflicts began?
10:44When Rand Paul's neighbor
10:47beat the shit out of him
10:49and then Mark Wayne Lohan said to Rand Paul,
10:51you asshole, you probably deserved it.
10:53Point!
10:54Yeah!
10:55Rand Paul's people,
10:56Mark Wayne,
10:57goes all the way back to 2017
10:58after Rand was assaulted by his neighbor
11:01in a property line dispute.
11:03After that,
11:03Mark Wayne repeatedly told a group of voters
11:05that he understood completely
11:07why his neighbor might want to attack
11:10Senator Paul.
11:11I don't know the details of this dispute with a neighbor,
11:14but I've lived in Washington
11:15and covered politics long enough to be able to say,
11:18he is, let's just say,
11:19not one of the most beloved senators on Capitol Hill.
11:22Why?
11:23Well...
11:24I think you might want to ask his neighbor.
11:27There seems to be another element of Mark Wayne's past
11:31that is coming back to Harnham right now.
11:33What part of Mullen's backstory
11:36is still being brought into question?
11:38He was a stripper.
11:39No.
11:40What would be Mark Wayne Mullen's stripper name?
11:43Mark Wayne full-on?
11:46What?
11:48Mark Wayne considered Mullen full-on,
11:51like a full-on...
11:52Like a boner?
11:53Like a boner, yeah.
11:54Oh, okay.
11:55Earlier this month,
11:56Mark Wayne went on Fox News
11:57to defend our attacks on Iran
11:59and he said this...
12:00War is ugly.
12:01It smells bad.
12:02And if anybody's ever been there
12:04and been able to smell the-the-the-the war
12:08that's happened around you
12:09and taste it and fill it in your nostrils
12:11and hear it,
12:12it's something that you'll never forget.
12:14Fact check true.
12:15Yeah.
12:16Okay.
12:17But can you taste it?
12:18Can you taste the war?
12:19I personally have never tasted it,
12:20but maybe he's been in wars
12:21that I haven't covered as a journalist,
12:22so I'm not gonna...
12:23I'm not gonna yuck his yum.
12:28After seeing Mark Wayne talk about
12:30the smell of war,
12:33uh, New York rep
12:33and two-time Bronze Star recipient
12:36Pat Ryan shared the clip
12:38and asked,
12:38quote,
12:39Hey, Senator Mullen,
12:40what the actual fuck are you talking about?
12:42Did I miss a part of your bio
12:44where you served in combat
12:46or served in uniform at all?
12:48Call of Duty doesn't count.
12:52Bigger question.
12:53Did Rand Paul's strategy work?
12:55One of the most reliable rules
12:57of presidential nominations
12:58is if you want to get somebody confirmed,
13:00pick a senator.
13:01Because senators confirm their own.
13:02That's the rule.
13:03That's right.
13:03So if Senator Mark Wayne Mullen
13:05does not get confirmed...
13:06He won't.
13:06...as Secretary of Homeland Security
13:08because of a beef between Rand Paul
13:10and his neighbor,
13:11that is bonkers.
13:12You would need some kind of turncoat Democrat
13:14to vote for Mark Wayne Mullen
13:16for this thing to proceed
13:17and I don't think that's gonna happen.
13:21What?
13:23Mark Wayne Mullen is moving on
13:25to the fantasy suites,
13:26AKA the Republican Senate,
13:28because the deciding vote
13:30to approve Mark Wayne Mullen
13:33came from a Democratic senator,
13:36Pennsylvania king of the drawstring,
13:38John Fetterman.
13:41Oh, no.
13:43Right.
13:44John Fetterman dressed like a daddy
13:45and got custody of his kids.
13:48He just wears sweatshirts, right?
13:50It's just a range of sweatshirts.
13:51It's his thing.
13:52It wasn't just Mark Wayne Mullen.
13:53Who else found themselves
13:54in the hot seat before the Senate this week?
13:57There was Tulsi?
13:58And there was Cash?
13:59Yes, it was Tulsi Gabbard,
14:00AKA the National Intelligence Director
14:02and she's like one of the mamas
14:04at rough parent-teacher conferences.
14:06Your child is a piece of shit.
14:10Now, question to the panel.
14:12Why might Tulsi be so evasive in her answers
14:16about the U.S. strikes on Iran?
14:18Because the president keeps making claims
14:21about why we went to war with Iran
14:24and everything that he's saying
14:27is contradicted by the report
14:29that our Director of National Intelligence
14:31submitted to the Congress
14:33and to the president.
14:34Here's what Tulsi Gabbard campaigned on
14:37back in 2020.
14:38He's on the brink of launching
14:39a very stupid and costly war with Iran.
14:42We have to stop President Trump
14:44from starting a war with Iran
14:45and risk direct U.S. conflict with Russia.
14:48Conflict that could easily lead to nuclear war.
14:51The U.S. must not go to war with Iran.
14:54And by not go to war, she meant
14:56we should go to war with Iran.
14:58Go to war with Iran, yeah.
15:00That was 2020, Roy.
15:02Yeah.
15:02Things are different now.
15:03Tulsi's testimony was part of a hearing on global threats
15:06where we also heard from FBI Director Cash Patel
15:09looking like he's trying to get the waiter's attention,
15:12but the waiter is ignoring him on purpose.
15:15On Thursday, the House Select Intelligence Committee
15:18had questions for Cash over his firing of some FBI agents.
15:22Question, why were the firing of those FBI agents so concerning?
15:26Because they would have come in handy were at war with Iran
15:30and they could have helped.
15:31Points!
15:32I did it!
15:35Cash fired the agents in charge of monitoring threats from Iran.
15:40These last two stories have been rough, man.
15:43Tulsi Gabbard's a Hindu, this guy's an Indian.
15:45It's like, what did I do?
15:48Did you always know his first name, full name was Cash Yap?
15:51Yeah.
15:52It's like when you find out like your homeboy's name is T-Bone,
15:55but his real name is like Douglas, you're like, really?
15:58Do you think his dad wanted to name him Money Talks?
16:05But instead they went with Cash Yap?
16:12The big question people have for Cash Patel this week is,
16:15what are those?
16:18Oh.
16:19All week, people have been roasting
16:20the custom one-of-a-kind Nike duck loaves
16:23that Director Patel debuted at a seminar.
16:25Let's take a closer look at these sneakers.
16:27I don't know if there are any hypebeasts out there watching,
16:29but these are custom.
16:31The number nine is specific
16:33because Cash is the ninth FBI director.
16:36And if you look on the tongue,
16:37it has this personal K$H logo.
16:41The right shoe on the back there.
16:43Oh.
16:44That's the FBI model.
16:46And then the left shoe has the Punisher skull
16:48because he's just a giant fucking dork.
16:50Like, why?
16:51I just have to say, I don't like Cash Patel.
16:54I don't like what he does.
16:56But I like that he's having fun.
17:00Like, I'm gonna get sneakers with my name on them.
17:03He's showing up to hockey games.
17:05He's popping champagne.
17:07He's getting silly shoes made.
17:09It's a good time.
17:10This is what you would do if you were FBI director.
17:12A hundred percent.
17:14Never vote for me.
17:16Never.
17:17We'll be right back.
17:24Welcome back.
17:25It's time for the Offender Meter.
17:27Teams have to tell us who's the offender,
17:29what they did, and who they offended.
17:31Put an offender on the screen, please.
17:33Who's that offender, Tink?
17:35Is that John Oliver?
17:36Yes.
17:38After, like, eight whoppers, maybe.
17:41See, I'm a radio guy.
17:42I recognize people's voices.
17:43No idea what anyone looks like.
17:44Oh, well, this guy sounds like this.
17:45Eh.
17:46Oh, right.
17:47That is Massachusetts federal judge Brian Murphy.
17:52Who do you all suspect that Judge Brian Murphy offended?
17:55Did he talk shit about Ben Affleck?
17:58Brian Murphy offended HHS director RFK Jr.
18:02Seen here telling children that Sprite causes lupus.
18:08How did Judge Murphy offend RFK Jr.?
18:11Did he strike down a vaccine policy,
18:13saying it was not founded in science?
18:14Points!
18:18On Monday, Judge Murphy blocked RFK
18:20from policy changes that were recommended
18:22by his hand-picked advisory committee,
18:24or as Greg Kelly put it...
18:25Okay, so, um, we'll have to give kids
18:2872 vaccines all over again?
18:31Is that what's going on here?
18:33What was that music?
18:36That was Indiana Jones
18:38running from the boulder music.
18:40The vaccines are coming.
18:42You got to run.
18:42Uh, the judge said that RFK and his advisory committee
18:48on immunization practices had made, quote,
18:52arbitrary and capricious changes
18:54to the childhood vaccine schedule.
18:57And as part of his decision,
18:58Judge Murphy brought up one very specific case
19:02involving which musical fan base?
19:05Is it the K-pop people?
19:07No, this is domestic, baby.
19:09Is it, um, insane clown posse?
19:14Juggalos!
19:14Boys!
19:15Oh!
19:19Are you for real?
19:20I'm just throwing up shit from half court.
19:23In one part of the ruling, Murphy cited
19:25Parsons v. United States Department of Justice,
19:28which was a case where the Juggalos
19:30tried to fight their designation as a gang.
19:33At this point, I'd rather have the insane clown posse
19:36in charge of HHS than...
19:38Oh, that's right.
19:38...RFK Jr., but at least we now know
19:41they have an interest in science.
19:43Water, fire, air and dirt.
19:45Fucking magnets.
19:46How do they work?
19:48You're asking all the real questions.
19:50Fucking magnets.
19:51They don't want to tell you about the magnets.
19:53It just works.
19:54You're not allowed to ask those questions.
19:56We ain't allowed.
19:57Why is it weird that RFK Jr.
19:59made a bunch of changes to the vaccine schedule?
20:02When he was confirmed, they're like,
20:04are you gonna change the vaccine schedule?
20:05He's like, nah, I'm good.
20:06And then he did it.
20:07Just like Donald Trump said,
20:08I'm not gonna go to war with Iran.
20:09And then he did it.
20:10During his confirmation hearings,
20:11Kennedy said he wouldn't change
20:12the existing vaccine recommendations.
20:15Senator, I support vaccines.
20:18I support the childhood schedule.
20:22I will do that.
20:23I mean, the worm might have eaten
20:25the part of his brain that remembers saying that.
20:28What if that was the worm talking?
20:31One committee member, Dr. Kirk Milhone,
20:34seen here asking what it's gonna take
20:35to get you into a new Dodge Stratus.
20:40Dr. Milhone is a pediatric cardiologist
20:43who has suggested that all childhood vaccines,
20:46including shots against polio and measles,
20:48should be optional because the diseases
20:51no longer pose the dangers they once did.
20:54Oh, I wonder why they no longer pose that danger.
20:57Maybe because they were eradicated by vaccines.
21:00Kennedy and his team have been wreaking havoc on vaccines
21:02in this country since taking over.
21:04Reducing the number of recommended routine immunizations
21:08children receive from 17 to 11.
21:12Which diseases does the CDC no longer recommend vaccines for?
21:18Is it gonorrhea?
21:19Yeah.
21:19Cooties?
21:20Mumps, measles.
21:22Rickets.
21:22Some of the illnesses that the CDC no longer recommends children
21:25get regularly vaccinated for are hepatitis A, hepatitis B,
21:29rotavirus, influenza, and COVID.
21:33Oh, hmm.
21:33Yes.
21:34Those diseases build character.
21:35You got to catch them.
21:38Uh, a new Axios poll says that 70% of Americans
21:42have little or no trust in health information from Kennedy.
21:47I just think it's hard to take medical advice from a guy
21:51that sounds like that.
21:52Like he sounds like he's dying.
21:54He does like that.
21:55He sounds like he's actively dying.
21:59Uh, does anyone know what other battle RFK Jr.
22:02was fighting right before Judge Murphy handed down
22:04this week's decision?
22:06Was he wrestling a shark?
22:07He very well could have been wrestling a shark.
22:10Uh, here's a video the secretary posted last weekend.
22:13And here we go!
22:14The crowd is on their feet!
22:15What an entrance!
22:17Muscle takes on the stack!
22:19What power!
22:20A huge suplex!
22:22What a slam!
22:23This is incredible!
22:24That's gotta be AI.
22:26I'm okay with him fighting Twinkies.
22:29Twinkies don't mold.
22:32That's not normal.
22:33Some of my best friends are Twinkies.
22:37Let's see your offender.
22:39Oh, these guys.
22:41Oh, yeah.
22:42They're the children of the core.
22:45Is the corn Elon Musk?
22:48Yes.
22:48Yes, these two are Justin Fox and Nate Kavanaugh.
22:52Who did they offend?
22:54They offended you and I, my darling.
22:57Keep going, why?
22:58They dismantled DEI.
23:00And they were talking about what qualifies as DEI.
23:06And their answers were basically anything that has anything to do with anyone who is not white.
23:15Any fucking thing.
23:17It was a bit of a master class.
23:21Sorry, master race class.
23:24Points.
23:25Yes, Justin and Nate offended former government employees by working for Doge and getting a lot of people fired.
23:33Now, Doge is back in the news, uh, thanks to this.
23:37Former employees of Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency in the hot seat tonight.
23:41Deposition videos from January tied to a civil lawsuit going viral online.
23:46Former Doge staffer, Nathan Kavanaugh there, looked like he just got his first couple pubic hairs.
23:53It's always a special day.
23:55You remember that first two, three pubic hairs?
23:57Still waiting.
24:00This is the guy who weighed in on how the government was spending his money.
24:04He was a staffer at Doge.
24:05Uh, how did Nathan decide what was and wasn't DEI?
24:10He played roulette in whatever came up black.
24:13Nathan said he made personal judgment calls on what was and wasn't DEI.
24:18And lawyers then asked him if that even made sense.
24:22Do you think it's inappropriate in any way that someone in their 20s with no experience with grants for federal
24:30government
24:30was making personal judgment calls about what grants to cancel?
24:34Um, no, I don't think it's inappropriate.
24:39Why not?
24:40Um, I think a person can have enough judgment from reading books.
24:47What books would you have read that would have informed your opinion on what grants to cancel based on DEI?
24:51There were no books.
24:57But I know what DEI is. I am aware. I understand how to detect DEI.
25:02I watched two episodes of Martin and two episodes of Frasier.
25:06Frasier. White Frasier.
25:08That's like the whitest.
25:10You gotta have a control.
25:13You watch Frasier to understand the whiteness and then you move over to Martin.
25:17Uh, it turns out though they weren't using books to inform their cuts over at Doge.
25:22What did they base their cuts on?
25:25I feel like they used ChatGPT.
25:27What?
25:30Survey says...
25:32Fox said he used ChatGPT to help identify and eliminate DEI programs.
25:37I don't like the word eliminate there.
25:39This meant, for example, that Doge canceled a grant for a museum's new HVAC system because ChatGPT mistakenly flagged it
25:47as DEI.
25:49Panel, uh, do you think Kavanaugh regrets that people lost their jobs because of him?
25:55No. I think he regrets not having a top or bottom lip.
26:02No, he does not regret it. Check it out.
26:05You don't regret that people might have lost important income to support their lives?
26:12No. I think it was more important to reduce the federal deficit from $2 trillion to close to zero.
26:17Did you reduce the federal deficit?
26:20No, we didn't.
26:21Where's Rand Paul's neighbor when you need him?
26:24But despite not accomplishing anything, Nathan still has fans.
26:29Question, who's still a fan of old Nate Dogg out there in the world?
26:33Uh, Jake Paul.
26:35Power Boys.
26:36Kid Rock.
26:37Nick Fuentes.
26:39Frasier from Frasier.
26:41Don't put this on Kelsey Grammar. Don't you do that to Kelsey Grammar.
26:45Boy, you better Google Kelsey Grammar.
26:48Google it!
26:50No!
26:50Yes!
26:51The dog is, too. That's the crazy one.
26:55Uh, it is Elon Musk who's still a fan of Nate Kavanaugh.
26:59Elon posted a clip of Nathan and said it was, quote,
27:04legendarily based.
27:05First off, don't talk like that, Elon.
27:08Elon Musk makes me wish Mandela was meaner to the whites when he got out of prison.
27:13He was all like, truth and reconciliation. Truth and reconciliation. This is what happened.
27:20That was a Fendimeter. We'll be right back.
27:34Welcome back.
27:35It is time for Missing Words.
27:39Here's your headline.
27:40This innovative Chinese robot can make you a blank.
27:45A star.
27:48Can make you a delicious breakfast, but then ten minutes later you're hungry again.
27:53Oh.
27:54It rhymes with star, Amber. I'll give you that.
27:57It can make you a car.
27:59It can make you go far.
28:01It can open your jar.
28:03This innovative Chinese robot can make you a centaur.
28:07I'm sorry, what?
28:08Yes, a centaur. Don't act like y'all don't know about the horse.
28:11It can change the bottom of my body to a horse body?
28:14The centaur. You know, you got the horse, you got the horse booty.
28:17You got the foreleg.
28:18That's what I'm saying.
28:19Yeah.
28:20I'm, I'm me.
28:21The bottom is pony.
28:22Okay, yeah. I thought you just meant the two-leg centaur.
28:25Oh, no, no, no, no. That would be ridiculous.
28:32In a new paper published by the International Journal of Robotics Research,
28:36a team of Chinese engineers say that their proposed human centaur system helps with weight distribution for people who have
28:43to carry heavy things.
28:44And let's just see it in action first.
28:52Do you need to get like a special centaur lock for when you park it outside?
28:58You know, you don't want your centaur to get stolen.
29:01Yeah.
29:02First off, you're not going to take your centaur and lock it up outside.
29:06You're going to take that centaur inside because this thing takes the stairs.
29:18That's going to get you killed.
29:22Does anyone know why a San Jose robot made headlines this week?
29:26I think one of those Waymo delivery cubes ran over a duck.
29:34Okay.
29:35The robot in San Jose made headlines because he wouldn't stop dancing while he trashed a restaurant.
29:41Oh.
29:42The staff tried their best to get the employee under control.
29:58The last time I did that, I kept saying, I'm good.
30:01I'm good.
30:03Here's your headline.
30:04Judge dismisses lawsuit from diner who claimed blank.
30:08Who claimed that that hair was yours.
30:17Oh.
30:21Oh.
30:21Ah, yes.
30:22Not everybody's built to live mass.
30:26Rory, is there any indication if the person who did the suing was white?
30:31Do I recall that that person was from like Switzerland or something like that?
30:34Germany.
30:35Yes.
30:36After trying the green salsa at Los Tacos No. 1, a Times Square taco spot in 2024,
30:42German tourists said he suffered, quote, severe physical symptoms.
30:47Here's the story.
30:49According to the complaint, Faisal Manz said his tongue burned and his blood pressure soared
30:54after eating the green salsa.
30:56The judge, though, dismissed the claim, saying Manz never inquired about the salsa before eating it.
31:03The restaurant argued, salsa is often spicy.
31:08We've been tourists in other countries, and you be watching other people, how they do their shit, but okay, I'm...
31:13It's Germany, it's not Mars.
31:16After the tourist told a reporter to try the dangerous salsa for himself, the reporter found, quote,
31:22the salsa was just... wasn't that spicy.
31:28Yes.
31:29Probably a Latino reporter, Denise Habanero.
31:33The salsa suit was one of three separate lawsuits the man filed against New York area businesses...
31:41Wow.
31:41...after his six-day visit.
31:43Mr. Manz also sued a New Jersey Walmart for discrimination.
31:46Who's the third group that he sued?
31:49Black people.
31:51No, this is an official organization that has a defined...
31:54NAACP.
31:58FDNY.
31:59He also sued the NYPD.
32:02Oh.
32:03Mr. Manz sued the NYPD for $10 million after he says he tried to report a crime,
32:07and police failed to respond to his 911 call in a timely manner.
32:13Was the crime that the salsa was too spicy?
32:16I've never been pro-police brutality until this story.
32:21That's missing words.
32:23We're after the break.
32:35Welcome back.
32:36It's time for Meet in the Middle, where we find common ground between two different people.
32:42All right.
32:43On one side, we have John Fetterman, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Mark Levin, and Hugh Hefner.
32:49And on the other side, there's Katie Britt, Nellie, Secretary of Veteran Affairs Doug Collins, and Winnie the Pooh.
32:56First up, we've got Insane Brown Posse.
32:59Which two of these people worked for UPS? Team Michael.
33:02So, John Fetterman...
33:04Still looks like he works for UPS.
33:06Yeah.
33:06Definitely John Fetterman.
33:09And...
33:09Katie Britt?
33:10Yep.
33:11Okay.
33:11We're gonna go Fetterman and Katie Britt.
33:12Okay.
33:13Fetterman's big enough to carry multiple packages.
33:16He's like Frankenstein.
33:18He could do it.
33:18That's just...
33:20Yep.
33:21John Fetterman and Nellie both worked for UPS.
33:26John Fetterman posted this throwback pic of him driving a UPS truck back in the day.
33:31Oh, my God.
33:33What happened?
33:35Why is his body so big and his head is so small?
33:40So, Fetterman worked for UPS, as did Nellie.
33:44Oh.
33:44My first job that actually paid better was UPS, and that's the one I like to say I took pride
33:50in because, you know, that was like nine bucks an hour. I thought I was the man.
33:54Yeah.
33:54That's a lot.
33:57All right.
33:58Let's do we're here, we're cheer, get used to it.
34:02Which two of these people were high school cheerleaders, team Amber?
34:06Well, Hefner probably was.
34:08That's possible.
34:09And I would say girl lady.
34:12Yeah.
34:13Yeah, I agree with that.
34:14I want to say Doug Collins.
34:16Great.
34:16Doug Collins on the right.
34:17And I like the idea of Mark Levin in a little skirt so much that I want to go with
34:23Mark Levin.
34:23I don't need to know that.
34:26Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Katie Britt were high school cheerleaders.
34:31Really?
34:32And according to her yearbook from James Madison High School in Brooklyn, Justice Ginsburg was a member of the Twirlers.
34:40Oh.
34:41Yeah, she was in the Twirlers for just a little too long and people were like, shouldn't you stop twirling?
34:46And she was like, nah, I'm going to keep twirling.
34:49But yeah, if you quit twirling now before you die, then we could get some new younger twirlers in.
34:57Next up, we've got Holy Scrap.
34:59Which two of these people were really, really into scrapbooking?
35:04I would say squinty guy.
35:06Okay.
35:07Glasses.
35:07Glasses left.
35:08And glasses right.
35:11For some reason, I know that Hugh Hefner, in his later years, was big into scrapbooking.
35:18That was a thing that he would do with his many wives.
35:21Oh.
35:21So Doug Collins and Hugh Hefner.
35:23Hugh Hefner and Secretary of Veteran Affairs, Doug Collins, were both into scrapbooking.
35:29And before Collins was elected to Congress in 2012, he actually owned a scrapbooking company.
35:35And Hugh Hefner was really into scrapping, uh, Michael.
35:38Here's a picture of Hef with the scrapbooks.
35:41Oh.
35:42There is some blackmail fodder there.
35:45Yeah, you know them pages stuck together, though.
35:46They can't get the blackmail.
35:49Uh, Hef had around 3,000 scrapbooks.
35:54But shockingly, that wasn't even his worst advice.
35:56Question.
35:57What addiction did Hugh Hefner share with rapper Fat Joe?
36:03Uh, Viagra.
36:04Metamucil?
36:05Hugh Hefner and Fat Joe were both addicted to Diet Pepsi.
36:10At his peak, Hugh Hefner was drinking up to 30 Diet Pepsis a day.
36:1730!
36:18And not only was Hugh Hefner drinking up to 30 a day, so was Fat Joe.
36:23I got a problem.
36:24Mm-hmm.
36:2530, 40 a day.
36:27Jeez, damn.
36:27Let me tell you something.
36:28If I went to the doctor, God forbid, and they told me, yo, you have a problem due to Diet
36:33Pepsi,
36:33I got to take the shit on the chip.
36:35I got to just be like, I knew I was just doing too much with them Diet Pepsi.
36:44I feel like if your worst vices are Diet Pepsi and scrapbooking, your life is a little more boring
36:50than I thought Hugh Hefner's life was.
36:53Uh, we didn't get to Mark Levin and Winnie the Pooh, but between the rumors about Levin
36:58and Pooh's friendship with Piglet, both of them are associated with a tiny hog.
37:02More after the break.
37:11Welcome back.
37:13It's time for Which Is Higher?
37:15I'll give you two unrelated numbers from the news.
37:18You tell me.
37:19Which is higher?
37:21Now, uh, St. Patrick's Day was, uh, this week, so it's the perfect time if you're at the house,
37:26kick back and, uh, re-watch the entire Leprechaun movie franchise.
37:30Oh.
37:32I rocked with Warwick Davis and the Leprechauns.
37:34Which brings us to the question, which is higher?
37:37The number of films where Warwick Davis played the title role in the Leprechaun movie franchise
37:43or the total number of Mission Impossible movies?
37:48I think it's Tom Cruise.
37:49I think it's Tom Cruise, and I've always thought that.
37:52Okay.
37:53So you think there's more Mission Impossible movies than Leprechaun movies with Warwick Davis?
37:57That's right.
37:58Okay. Team Michael.
37:59I feel like this is a trick question.
38:00I feel like, obviously, there's more Mission Impossible movies, which makes me think it's
38:04actually the Leprechaun.
38:05How many, how many Mission Impossibles do you see?
38:07Like six?
38:08Seven?
38:08There's at least eight.
38:09If not 20.
38:10I didn't know.
38:12Uh, the number of films where Warwick Davis plays the title role in the Leprechaun movie
38:16franchise is six.
38:18Ooh.
38:18And the total number of Mission Impossible movies is eight.
38:22Ah.
38:22So the number of Mission Impossible movies is indeed higher.
38:25Higher.
38:26Higher.
38:27Now, if you don't know the Leprechaun movie franchise, I know there's some young'uns in
38:30here.
38:30You watch all this new stuff on TikTok.
38:32Leprechaun is a beautiful franchise about a little evil green dude, and he run around,
38:36and all he wants is gold.
38:41Question.
38:42Which of these is a real Leprechaun movie title?
38:47Is it Leprechaun Over the Rainbow, Leprechaun vs. Gnome, or Leprechaun in the Hood?
38:52Team Michael.
38:53It's gotta be Leprechaun in the Hood, right?
38:55Really?
38:55I want it to be Leprechaun in the Hood.
38:56Someone would make that?
38:57Yes!
38:58I had a long night, and I didn't know what else to watch, and the answer is Leprechaun
39:05in the Hood.
39:06Wow.
39:07Yes, the real movie is Leprechaun in the Hood.
39:12Question.
39:13In Leprechaun in the Hood, this is just for you, all right?
39:16Nobody.
39:17In Leprechaun in the Hood, does the Leprechaun rap?
39:22I want the answer to be yes.
39:24I'm gonna say yes.
39:26Yes.
39:26Damn right he does.
39:29Will you show us the rap?
39:31Okay, okay, okay.
39:31It's fine.
39:33Can we watch the rap?
39:34Are you okay?
39:35But we aren't going to be showing that.
39:37All right?
39:39All right?
39:39We don't want...
39:40No one wants to see it.
39:41Let's just skip to flip your fucking card over and read the next thing.
39:46I can't live like this.
39:48Leprechaun raping.
39:49From the Emerald Isle to your place in the Hood.
39:51I'm the man of freedom, come to do no good.
39:53Flip in the Hood, come to do no good.
39:55Lep in the Hood.
39:57Wow.
39:59I don't like this job or the people here.
40:05That was Witch's Hire.
40:07We'll be right back.
40:11Time for a game called Who's That Baby?
40:15All right, let's see that baby.
40:17Oh, the baby.
40:19First clue, they are not eligible to run for president.
40:22They played a kindergarten teacher in a movie.
40:24Oh, wow.
40:25And they are probably the only California governor who can bitch-press 500 pounds.
40:29Wow.
40:30Gavin Newsom.
40:33It's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
40:35Yes, it is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
40:38And you can...
40:38Oh, same expression.
40:40Ran out of muscle milk.
40:41Nowadays, every celebrity is selling something.
40:44They always have commercials and they're influencing us and doing endorsements.
40:47Oh, Arnold had a commercial over there out there in Japan.
40:50I'm gonna show you a few seconds of an Arnold Schwarzenegger commercial.
40:55Okay.
40:55And I want you all to tell me what product you think it's selling.
41:05What is that ad selling?
41:07Deodorant.
41:08The pants.
41:09Ooh.
41:11Here's what the Arnold Schwarzenegger commercial was selling.
41:22The yen was strong.
41:25That was Who's That Baby?
41:27I want to thank our guests, Harry Kondabolu and Ari Shapiro.
41:32And, of course, thank you to our team, Captains Amber Ruffin and Michael Liam Black.
41:37Here are a few more stories we're watching.
41:40Man spoils the end of Conclave.
41:45VP dazzles crowd with an invisible bass solo.
41:50I'm Roy Wood Jr.
41:51And I'll see you next week for another episode of Have I Got News For You.
41:54And I'm available to be the new Bachelorette tonight.
42:01Have to find dinner!
42:01Thanks, behind me for watching.
42:01Back to the important house.
42:02With Avipäe.
42:02The first time you see rock-roars get to the rewards Yes.
42:02dzięki- terme is not for every nä clearer and no even more 음� Lacana.
42:03You are a beautiful scholar.
42:03I do.史
42:03am very excited to use to be an informedizard MVP. I'm
42:03exactly so glad yourself that you can check out the win. I'm
42:03proud of it. I can't
42:04do this. He am just
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