- 8 hours ago
First broadcast 10th February 1994.
After renting a stall at a business fair, Arthur discovers the joys of corporate entertainment and launches the Willesden Entertainment Consultancy.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Ian McNeice - Hargreaves
Samantha Womack - Marian (as Samantha Janus)
Natascha McElhone - Vanessa (as Natascha Taylor)
Derrick Branche - Kenton
Marc Zuber - Mr Hussein
Jake Wood - Wasp
Tim Stern - Shifty
Tony Westrope - Tout
Gary Fairhall - Demoman
Colin Campbell - Gerry
Nick Lucas - Robinson
Luzita Pope - Hostess (as Lucita Pope)
David Cunningham - The Actor
Michael Blakey - Rock Star
Antony Gilding - Barman
Cy Town - Mr.Corman
After renting a stall at a business fair, Arthur discovers the joys of corporate entertainment and launches the Willesden Entertainment Consultancy.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Ian McNeice - Hargreaves
Samantha Womack - Marian (as Samantha Janus)
Natascha McElhone - Vanessa (as Natascha Taylor)
Derrick Branche - Kenton
Marc Zuber - Mr Hussein
Jake Wood - Wasp
Tim Stern - Shifty
Tony Westrope - Tout
Gary Fairhall - Demoman
Colin Campbell - Gerry
Nick Lucas - Robinson
Luzita Pope - Hostess (as Lucita Pope)
David Cunningham - The Actor
Michael Blakey - Rock Star
Antony Gilding - Barman
Cy Town - Mr.Corman
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:03Why should Shifty Sands be interested in this stuff?
00:05He does a line in themed cafes, you know, decks them out in different eras.
00:09He'll gobble this lot up. Early cinema, art gecko, all that.
00:12Why, and they make money?
00:13Well, you know what your average tourist is like.
00:15They like a bit of atmosphere with their tea and digestives.
00:18Have you seen the price of some of this gear?
00:20Have you seen Bernie's profit margins?
00:22One catering-sized box of tea bags dipped in hot water
00:25and dangled in front of a family of four coming out of the Tower of London
00:28and it's Aloe Marbella for the winter.
00:31Yeah, look at these old tip-up seats. They'd be good for him. Very space-saving.
00:34Well spotted. Make a note of the numbers.
00:35Right.
00:37Oh, my good God. What is that?
00:39That's a waxwork.
00:40Oh, that gave me quite a turn.
00:42What's that, Nathal?
00:44Oh, yeah.
00:45Commissioned in 1983 to celebrate Britain's achievements at the American Academy Awards.
00:50Yeah, this is Chuck Wynaston as Gordon a Cartoon.
00:53I saw that film. That's nothing like Chuck.
00:55Well, there's a load more in a basement.
00:56Figures from Chariots of Fire, Blue, White...
00:58Make a note of their numbers.
00:59What on earth for?
01:01The franc fell a further two points against the mark
01:03before rallying half a point against the dollar by close of trading.
01:07Though traders expect the franc to...
01:08Here, Arthur. Marilyn's foot just fell off.
01:10Shush.
01:11City sources warn that further instabilities
01:13could only spell long-term gloom for European Union.
01:18I don't like it, Ray.
01:20What?
01:20I'm worried about the exchange rate mechanism.
01:23Oh, yeah.
01:25See, our French cousins always underestimate the perfidy of the Bundesbank.
01:29As soon as the market goes bullish, they stick their berries in the sand.
01:33It's the same with a Maginot line.
01:35Where do you want me to stick Elvis?
01:36That's never Elvis.
01:38That's what it says on the ticket.
01:40I thought it was Engelbert.
01:41I'll bung him over there with the bird baths.
01:43Right, yeah.
01:44It's very worrying.
01:45You see, the old fabric is in danger of unravelling.
01:49I'm seriously beginning to wonder whether my thrust into Europe was a bit precipitous.
01:53It's your thrust into waxworks that worries me.
01:55Have no fear, Ray.
01:56When Burley sees this lot, he'll go and bomb.
02:00Now, be reasonable, Burley.
02:02These are handcrafted waxworks.
02:04They're practically antiques.
02:05It can't be done.
02:06Your puntlers are lapping up.
02:08Tea with a stars, you could call it.
02:09Arthur, listen to me.
02:10Watch my lips moving.
02:12I am broke.
02:13I've gone belly up.
02:15I'm packing up my gear because the bank has foreclosed.
02:18I'm finished.
02:19Kaput.
02:20Finito.
02:20Yeah, but I've forked out.
02:22Well, I'm sorry, but the cupboard is bare.
02:24Do you mean you're destitute?
02:26Nicely put, Arthur.
02:28Oh, bad luck.
02:29I'm sorry about that, Shifty.
02:30They practically begged me to take that loan.
02:32Very generous, it seemed.
02:33Till the bottom fell out of catering.
02:35You have the ERM to thank for that.
02:37Is that a fact?
02:38Yeah, the market is in turmoil.
02:40It's all these financial speculators.
02:42They're running around the stock exchange with carrier bags full of foreign currencies.
02:45Somebody shouts the pesetas up, and before you know where you are, that is 500 quid on
02:50the price of an Uno.
02:51What can you do?
02:52Why would that affect me?
02:53He's always a little man who pays, isn't he?
02:56You are a victim of Europe's fiscal failure.
02:59Well, I'll write to my MP now, if you'll excuse me.
03:02I wish I could do something to help, Shifty.
03:04Now you mention it.
03:05Hold on, hold on.
03:06No, things are bad all round.
03:07No, no, no, I'm not looking for a bung, no.
03:10You could do yourself a bit of good.
03:12How's that?
03:14Take a look around you.
03:16What do you see?
03:18Businessmen from the four corners of the globe, all on expenses with money to burn.
03:24I've shelled out my stand for a week.
03:26Now, if some farsighted entrepreneur was to make me an offer on the unexpired lease,
03:32he could clean up.
03:37How much?
03:39Uncertainty.
03:45Let's concentrate, kids.
03:47We're going again.
04:02And remember, when they ask you, who put the do in do-what?
04:10Do-what, do-what, do-what.
04:16It's do as coffee.
04:17Every time.
04:18Whap, whap, whap.
04:20Do-dee-doo-ah.
04:23Are we keeping you girls up?
04:26Hmm?
04:26The whap-whaps are pathetic.
04:29Okay, lunch.
04:31Ten minutes.
04:36I've been in the business 14 years.
04:38That man hasn't a clue.
04:40Hi, Ray.
04:41Hiya.
04:41Hi, Ray.
04:42Taking us to lunch, too?
04:44Excuse my friends.
04:45They don't get out much.
04:47That's all right.
04:47Hello, girls.
04:48Hi.
04:49Down patch.
04:50You're having lunch with me.
04:52Solo.
04:55Come on.
04:57Please wear your pass at all times and remember to make yourself known to security.
05:01Yes, miss.
05:03Nice little set-up you've got here.
05:06Your boss works you very hard, does he?
05:08Follow me.
05:10Certainly, miss.
05:13Poor old Shifty.
05:15Most unfortunate.
05:17The luck of the draw, really.
05:19Or the overdraw in his case.
05:24Oh, just a minute.
05:26There seems to be a misunderstanding.
05:28This is the one I was supposed to inherit.
05:30You've been recited.
05:31This way, please.
05:41Mr. Hassan, a Japanese devil's issue.
05:44His opinions are hard.
05:45Is that the way?
05:46Yes.
05:52Here you are.
05:54Hey?
05:56Hey, hold on a minute.
05:58I took over in all good faith from Mr. Sands and the understanding that I will get his prime site.
06:03The contract's quite clear.
06:05The management reserved the right to relocate.
06:08We regret any inconvenience.
06:16Your director's a bit of a dictator, ain't he?
06:18Who wouldn't recognise good singing if it bit him?
06:21He's got about as much sense of rhythm as a washing machine, with no brick.
06:25Yeah, it's tough on the top.
06:27Don't take the mick.
06:28I do this to pay the bills.
06:30Yeah, and I bet your mum loves it when she hears you on the radio.
06:33You should come and hear me at the club, with a full band behind me.
06:37Yeah, do what there, do you?
06:39Smart, Alec.
06:40It's proper music.
06:42Jazz.
06:43Well, like Kenny Ball.
06:45Not trad.
06:46Soulful stuff.
06:47Like who?
06:48Well, not like anybody.
06:50Like me.
06:51You should come and hear for yourself.
06:53I'll get you some free tickets.
06:56Judging by this lunch, you're in need of a freebie.
06:59You what?
06:59OK, boys and girls, back on your heads.
07:02Let's get the dogs, you know, that's a lot.
07:06So, do you want to come?
07:08Yeah, all right.
07:09I'll, er, I'll give you a bill.
07:23Shh.
07:49No veg is too tough for the utilege.
07:53Parsnips, potatoes, cabbages and courgettes.
07:58And what's more?
07:59Are you fed up peeling, madam, for the large Sunday dinner?
08:03With the utive-age peeling adapter, you can peel and trim these carrots without any waste
08:09whatsoever.
08:12You see?
08:14Excellency, doctor.
08:16Right now, suitably refreshed, your clients are then met by a smart chauffeur in a gold
08:22Mercedes.
08:23Evening, gents.
08:24Mr. Slater is waiting for you at the Savoy Hotel and hopes he will enjoy your meal.
08:31They are then driven along the optimum route and arrive relaxed, refreshed, cheerful and
08:37in the ideal mood for signing the contract which you have nestling in your briefcase.
08:41On the other hand, Mr.
08:43Corman?
08:44Mr. Corman, who did not use our service, his clients are tired, hungry and have been waiting
08:49for a taxi at Charing Cross Railway Station in the pouring rain for the last half hour.
08:54Contract, they say.
08:55You know where you can put your contract?
08:58In future, we will be doing business with our nice Mr. Slater.
09:02But seriously, we all know how important it is to make a good first impression.
09:06And we at Chester Holbein tailor the evenings to suit your needs.
09:11We have relationships with all the major sporting organisations and preferred arrangements
09:16with the best restaurants, theatres, night spots and casinos in the West End.
09:21Excuse me?
09:22In fact, our casino evening is probably one of our most popular.
09:25Excuse me?
09:26Yes, how may I help you?
09:28Um, Arthur Daly, Daly Car Leasing, Stan 312.
09:31I've been listening to your patter, very cogent.
09:33Now look, let's say I've got my party of four.
09:36They've got outside the prawn cocktail, steak and two veg, pudding of choice.
09:39They've taken in the floor show, I've lashed them with complimentary bubbly,
09:42we're down at the casino.
09:43What's the damage?
09:45Well, we have a sliding scale for various events.
09:47No, no, cut the flannel.
09:48Car, nose-bag, casino.
09:50How much?
09:51Well, for what you're talking about, I would say you're looking at our medium-bound evening.
09:55Come on, we're busy men.
09:56What's the figure?
09:57Well, off the top of my head, I would say 700 should cover it.
10:01And, er, how do you invoice?
10:03Each service is separately receipted.
10:20It's all yours.
10:28Hey, you, out of this space now.
10:31You saw exactly what I was trying to do.
10:32This space is for the lady.
10:34Now shift, then.
10:38Hey.
10:44Here, do you know how many stands are in this place?
10:46I've been looking all over for you.
10:47Look down there.
10:48Where?
10:50Geezer in the blazer.
10:51One who looks like a little sumo wrestler.
10:52Yeah, what about him?
10:54Do you know what corporate entertainment is?
10:56That's, er, freebies at sporting events, ain't it?
10:58As far as I can gather, you'll get a load of punters together, feed and water them, and then ship
11:02them out to the West End.
11:03That's his racket.
11:04So?
11:04What do you reckon he charges for that little service?
11:07Hit me.
11:08700 smackers.
11:09Minimum.
11:10Yeah, what's this?
11:11It's a euty veg.
11:12Oh, yeah, what's it for?
11:13It's for shredding.
11:14Never mind about that.
11:15Don't worry about the euty veg.
11:16We are standing not 20 yards away from a geezer who takes punters for 20 quid meals at 7 tonner
11:22throw.
11:23You imagine, five bookings a week.
11:25Do you know what that comes to?
11:273,500.
11:27It was a rhetorical question.
11:29Where are we going now?
11:30You're going to look after the stand.
11:32I've got to go out.
11:45Hello, Kenny.
11:47What have you got for me tonight, Reggie boy?
11:48A group from Argentina, Beef in Port, Dynasty, Phantom at the Opera, and then Supper at the Savoy.
11:53They have all the major credit cards.
11:55RGs.
11:55Make sure they see the baccarat table.
11:57Well, RGs love baccarat.
11:59I also have a serious bite from a Malawi trade bunch.
12:02Emergent nations, dice, love it.
12:09No, Arthur.
12:10Why not?
12:11I saw this coming.
12:12I was waiting for it.
12:13The answer is no.
12:15Dave, allow me one second to explain the nub of my proposal.
12:21Now, your average punter comes in here, buys a drink, sits down at a table.
12:24What has he got to distract him?
12:26A fruit machine.
12:28He's left his newspaper at the office.
12:29He's read all the beer mats.
12:31And then suddenly, he sees a sign.
12:33Winchester, waxworks.
12:35This way.
12:36I know, he says.
12:37That looks interesting.
12:39I think I'll have a butcher's at that.
12:40No way.
12:41Why not?
12:42Because I do not like him.
12:44That is a Duke of Wellington you're slagging.
12:47Look at him.
12:49No.
12:50Look, look, look at that fine military bearing.
12:52It's spooky.
12:53I do believe you've got the wind up.
12:55I am thinking of our customers.
12:57If it distresses you.
12:58I am not windy.
12:59I am just not having it, that's all.
13:01It's all right, Dave, it's all right.
13:02We all have our dark corners.
13:04B, where are you going?
13:05Back to the exhibition.
13:06You can't leave him there.
13:08Ray, I'll pick him up later.
13:15Whereas Mr. Evans' clients are getting wet and cold
13:18trying to flag down a minicab outside Euston Station.
13:21So who gets the contract?
13:22But joking apart, gents,
13:24we all know how important it is to make a good impression.
13:26With WEC, that is guaranteed.
13:29And what is more, we tailor the occasion to suit your needs.
13:32I remember my father saying to me,
13:34son, never put your hand in a lightning fire.
13:37I want a word with you.
13:38Oh, Mr. Hargreaves.
13:39Now.
13:41Excuse me, gentlemen.
13:42One of my oldest clients.
13:43Do help yourself to the dry roasted
13:44and Raymond will recharge your glasses.
13:47Look, could you leave it for a minute?
13:49I think I've got a nibble.
13:50What the hell do you think you're playing at?
13:51You were in car leasing yesterday.
13:53I have a wide portfolio of companies.
13:55You're trying to steal my business.
13:56You're even using my patter.
13:58Oh, I think you'll find the English language
13:59is available for general use.
14:00Nobody puts it over on me.
14:02Look, you're blocking my access.
14:03Now, will you move along
14:04or shall I go and call security?
14:05I think you should worry about your own security, Mr. Daly.
14:08Do you want me to call security?
14:10All right, go on.
14:11I will.
14:15Morning, princess.
14:18How's the zoo?
14:19The zoo is becoming very interesting.
14:22There's a funny little man
14:23who's decided to tread on Hargreens's toes.
14:26Look.
14:30I'll go and sort them out.
14:32No, wait.
14:34I want to see who comes out on top.
14:42I have to wear this stupid hat.
14:43Try tucking your hair in underneath.
14:45I feel like a prat.
14:46Yeah, but a smart one.
14:47No, no, honestly, you look fine.
14:49Hello, Palace Theatre.
14:50I'd like four seats for tonight's performance, please.
14:53Not too near the band.
14:54Right, let's go through what you're going to do.
14:55What do you mean, sold out?
14:56If I meet you as a customer, how are you going to go in?
14:58Yeah, but you must keep a few seats on one side.
15:00Like, all right.
15:01No, I don't know.
15:01What happens if a minor royal turns up?
15:03Just give it a nod.
15:04Oh, right, yeah.
15:05Oh, so how much is a box?
15:06I don't say anything, just a nod.
15:07Get your cap straight.
15:08How much?
15:09That's it.
15:10Oh, no wonder Music Hall died out.
15:12Goodbye.
15:12Oi, but do I have to wear this tie?
15:14Yes, you do.
15:15You're a chauffeur, not a van driver.
15:16Yeah, but I don't suit a tie.
15:17You don't suit a suit?
15:18Here, take it off and tie it again.
15:20Get him sorted out, Ray, and don't be late.
15:35Hey, what are you doing here?
15:36Can't find the rear window here, Ray.
15:38I'm all misted up out there.
15:39Well, it's underneath the fogs.
15:40Now, just go back and stay with the car.
15:41I just want to look professional.
15:43I'm not used to Jax.
15:47I'm Robinson from Jessup and Clark.
15:49Ray Daly, Walsden Entertainment.
15:51I hope you had a pleasant journey, gentlemen.
15:52There was no buffet on the train.
15:54Oh, dear.
15:55Sorry about that.
15:56Well, I'm sure you're going to have a lovely pre-show dinner before the theatre.
15:59So, if you'd like to follow me, the car's this way.
16:12What do you want, Gab?
16:14Stalls, dress circle, or gallery?
16:16How much are stalls?
16:17Thirty quid.
16:18How much is gallery?
16:19Fifteen.
16:19Do me four gallery.
16:29Good evening.
16:30You speak English?
16:31Yes.
16:31You'll be interested in seeing tickets.
16:35No, no, no.
16:37Right up.
16:38Yes.
16:39I hope you enjoyed the show.
16:47Give us four address.
16:57Good evening.
16:58Good evening.
16:59Do you want to give me tickets?
17:01Do you want to give me a balcony?
17:02Let it come.
17:03Do you want to give me a ticket?
17:10Do you want to give me a ticket?
17:10Four stores.
17:11What do you say stores cost?
17:13Thirty.
17:14Gallery?
17:14Fifteen.
17:15So, I bought four gallery from you at fifteen.
17:17So, if I give you another four fifteens, which is sixty, that's the difference between
17:20stores and gallery.
17:21We're straight, right?
17:22Hold on.
17:23You're right.
17:23You're right.
17:24I also had some dress.
17:25Let's make an even fifty, shall we?
17:26Wait a minute.
17:27Oh, come on.
17:27I don't want to miss the overture.
17:29Something funny going on here.
17:30Bandits at six o'clock.
17:31Old Bill, act casual.
17:40Have you got a ticket?
17:41Of course.
17:42Storms.
17:43This way, gentlemen.
17:45I hope you enjoy the show.
17:49Well, I think it's going to rain.
17:51Where's the wipers?
17:59Thanks.
18:08Gentlemen, how'd it go?
18:09I don't think they enjoyed it.
18:10Well, they chose the show.
18:11Tell them to take it up with Anthony Lloyd Webber.
18:13Yeah, but they weren't very happy with their seats.
18:15One of them's done his neck in.
18:16This way, gentlemen.
18:17Glad to hear you enjoyed the show.
18:18Get my hand and coat, will you?
18:21Good evening, sir.
18:22Can I help you?
18:23Party of five.
18:25Member's name, please?
18:26Member?
18:28Well, it was bound to come off the wagon from time to time.
18:31I was, I don't know, it was members only.
18:33It wasn't in my day.
18:34It's called planning, Arthur.
18:36Here, did you get them back to the hotel, all right?
18:37Yeah, there's a bit of a delay.
18:38And the manager couldn't find the funeral marks.
18:40Play them up to their rooms.
18:42Outrageous behaviour.
18:42There you go.
18:43Sign that.
18:44Demanding a refund?
18:45Well, you didn't give it to them, did you?
18:47I certainly did not.
18:48I mean, as it was, I didn't make a penny.
18:50What were them quibbling over every item?
18:51Say nothing of the cab charges.
18:53Yeah, well, it's all over now.
18:54Yeah, but it's hardly a British spirit, is it?
18:56They wouldn't have lasted five minutes in the blitz.
18:58I'm sorry, the seats in this Anderson shelter are not up to scratch.
19:01You've got anything nearer the hack-ack?
19:03What was that they called me?
19:05Cheapskate.
19:05No, no, no, the other word.
19:07What, con man?
19:08No, it was a longer one.
19:09Charlatan.
19:10That's the one.
19:11There's a very ungenerous spirit prevalent among the young British entrepreneurs.
19:14It's a European malaise.
19:16It's infectious.
19:18Malcontented moaners to a man.
19:20Ah, Jack Cornwall.
19:21You didn't moan when you stood on the burning deck, did you, son?
19:25You didn't get Nelson whinging at Waterloo?
19:28Florie Nightingale?
19:29Not a peep out of her on the leopard colony in Scutari.
19:32These are the kind of British who made Britain great.
19:36Yeah, what's Charles Autry doing here?
19:43Doctor, what else?
19:44Doctor, what else?
19:45The woman always says, how do you think you do some?
19:48Right.
19:49That's the look.
19:50I still don't see how these are going to help, Arthur.
19:52Well, it's not the Waxworks has themselves, Ray.
19:54It's what they represent.
19:55It came from me in a flash.
19:57With a little rejigging, they could stand for everything England has to offer in corporate entertainment.
20:02Well, give me a for instance.
20:04Lord Nelson.
20:05He's your heritage.
20:06Dick Whittington, pageantry, Lord Mayor's show, all that.
20:08Yeah, what about Marilyn, then?
20:10That's Danny LaRue.
20:11What, representing dressing up as a woman?
20:13Cabaret.
20:14All right, all right.
20:15So you've got your heritage.
20:16Your pageantry.
20:17Your cabaret.
20:18All right, what's Gordon a cartoon represent?
20:21Sport.
20:22Sport?
20:23Yeah.
20:23Pulled a spear out, stick it in his hand, whack a dicky bow on him.
20:28Dead ringer for Cliff Thorburn.
20:29Snooker.
20:30At which we are world champions.
20:32Yeah, Cliff Thorburn's Canadian.
20:35So you reckon your freak show landed you the contract, eh?
20:39My tapestry of England brought them flocking, Dave.
20:42What'd I say I wanted?
20:43Global trade.
20:44What have I got?
20:44Four foreign fellas with wallets you could stop a door with.
20:47Let's hope it goes better than the other night, eh?
20:49Marion.
20:51Ticket for tonight, as promised.
20:53Oh, right.
20:54Yeah, yeah.
20:54Yeah, thanks.
20:56Oh.
20:57Well, I was in the neighbourhood and, er, I thought I'd buy you lunch.
21:00Sorry, I've, er, I've got to get back to work.
21:04Yeah.
21:05Hey, hey, what?
21:06Stay for a drink.
21:07No, no, honestly.
21:08No, it doesn't matter, honestly.
21:09I just had to pop in a ticket anyway.
21:11Well, look, I'll try and see if I can make it.
21:12If I, you know.
21:13Excuse me, my dear.
21:14Did I hear you mention tickets?
21:15You couldn't lay your hands on half a dozen spares, could you?
21:18I'm very keen on, er, your kind of music.
21:21Do-wop, you mean?
21:22Hmm.
21:23Yeah.
21:24No problem.
21:25I'll, er, leave them at the front.
21:28See you later.
21:29See ya.
21:31What a nice girl.
21:32Very nervous.
21:55Like Russ Conway in his A day.
22:03Oh, when you rise beneath me
22:09My heart says yes and dear to me
22:13Proceed with what you lead me to
22:23It's such an ancient pit
22:27Beautiful girl.
22:28Beautiful voice.
22:30You can be on a winner here.
22:32They talk about Hampton Court and a visit to Windsor.
22:34I play my cards right.
22:36They could be rolling in draughts come the end of the week.
22:43Excuse me.
22:46Your friend is very good.
22:48No, er, no fog in her voice.
22:51She's very big on the radio, you know.
22:53Really?
22:54You like jazz?
22:55Yeah, I could get into it.
22:57It's an attractive mentor, it was that.
22:59And I've got no defence for it
23:03The heat is too intense for it
23:07What good would common sense for a dude
23:15Because it's witchcraft
23:19Here, Arthur.
23:20Who is that woman?
23:21It's Vanessa Wilkes-Bray.
23:23She introduces the Miss Hussain.
23:25I told you about it.
23:26She's the organiser.
23:27Name like that, I was expecting twin set of jobless.
23:33What can I get you?
23:34Yeah, get us a beer, please, mate.
23:39It's terrible parking round here, isn't it?
23:43Um, I, er...
23:46Yeah, you're by way of being my benefactor.
23:48I'm Ray Daly, Wilson Entertainment.
23:51Apparently we have a few to thank for our new clients.
23:57Well, er, I just thought I'd come over and say thanks.
24:03So, thanks.
24:06It's 2.50.
24:07Right.
24:08Yeah, I think you're over-icing your cocktails, mate.
24:10Yeah?
24:11Yeah.
24:12This lady's below freezing point.
24:14I don't need men to fight my battles for me.
24:16I fight my own.
24:17Yeah, you're doing a good job.
24:19Look, I just came over to say thanks for the favour.
24:23I don't do favours.
24:25How come we got the new clients?
24:28Let's just say I wanted to see how you'd measure up.
24:31In that case, I'll...
24:34Do my best.
24:43Your girlfriend has a good voice.
24:45She's not my girlfriend.
24:49She's a friend who happens to be a girl.
24:52How very modern of you.
24:54Mr. Hussein will want to gamble later.
24:58This is the casino to bring him to.
25:00You'll be expected.
25:01And will you be there?
25:03Your friend who happens to be a girl is looking for you.
25:09Thanks.
25:10Thanks very much.
25:11Fantastic.
25:12I need a drink.
25:14G&T, please.
25:15A large one.
25:16Hi.
25:16I'm Marion.
25:18Oh, um, sorry.
25:19Marion, this is Vanessa.
25:21Vanessa Marion.
25:22Mention my name at the door.
25:24So nice to have met you, Marion.
25:25Good night.
25:26Good night.
25:30Is there something wrong with my perfume?
25:32No.
25:33We was just talking business.
25:35Come on.
25:36Let's, uh, join the others, eh?
25:40Gentlemen, Marion Prince.
25:42Enchanting, my dear.
25:44A beautiful song from a beautiful singer.
25:46Thank you very much.
25:47Please, take that.
25:48Some of this champagne.
25:50Yeah, Marion, you know me and Arthur are going to have to shoo off later.
25:53Oh, don't worry about me.
25:54I'm getting used to you being busy.
25:55Well, it's business.
25:57You're Arthur.
25:58You're here.
25:59Saturday.
26:01Casino.
26:15Oh, thank you.
26:17Oh, good evening, miss.
26:18My name's Arthur Daly, Wilsden Entertainment.
26:20Hello, Mr. Daly.
26:21If you'd like to take your party through, there's champagne at the bar.
26:24Oh, is there?
26:24Compliments of the management.
26:25This way, gentlemen.
26:30Just through there.
26:33You.
26:34This is more like it.
26:35Oh, fucking must have.
26:43Is that for Daly?
26:44Yes, sir.
26:45Glass of champagne, gentlemen?
26:47Socorro, sir.
26:48Compliments, Wilsden Entertainment.
26:50Yes.
26:50I hope you've enjoyed the evening thus far.
26:55Splendid, Mr. Daly.
26:56Quite splendid.
26:56We've certainly enjoyed playing host to you.
26:58So here's mud in your eye and eyes down for a lucky evening.
27:02Now it's time to break the bank at Monte Carlo.
27:06Yes?
27:06Yes.
27:07What?
27:12What about a piece of attic?
27:1516, right?
27:16I cover the groups of fours and sixes with doubles and half stakes on alternating lines.
27:22Then, odds and evens, a strict pattern.
27:26Place your bets.
27:27If I can retain the fall of the ball, then I should be able to alternate red and black with
27:31enough accuracy to cover my bets.
27:33Well, let's see.
27:35Very ingenious.
27:37Of course, a lucky shot on a single number is the only way to make big money.
27:41That's why I always put a high-risk chip on one number.
27:47No more bets.
27:48My daughter's age.
27:49This is fascinating, right?
27:52Right?
27:52Well, let's see.
27:54Hang on, I.
27:55I chew in.
27:58Winner eight in the hard way.
28:04This is a lonely game.
28:07It's solitary.
28:08There's a difference.
28:10Well, you look like you're winning.
28:11I like winning.
28:13That's why I play.
28:15Would you like to throw it for me?
28:17Well, I don't know the rules.
28:19You don't need to know the rules to win.
28:28Two craps, line it.
28:30But it helps.
28:35No, you want to go in, Mr. Sal.
28:36Well done.
28:38This time, you must choose the single number.
28:40Anyone between one and thirty-six.
28:43Her indoors age, twenty-one.
28:45Twenty-one it is.
28:47Would you mind?
28:48This square's taken.
28:49What are you talking about?
28:50Mr. Daly, any number of people can bet on the same place.
28:54Perhaps this man will bring us luck.
28:56Nah, I've changed my mind.
28:58Nineteen.
28:59No more bets.
29:06Nineteen, Red.
29:07Oh, shit!
29:28Now we are in danger of losing Lady Luck's affection.
29:31The biggest secret of all is to quit while you're ahead.
29:36Here you are.
29:40Would you spare me a moment?
29:42What do you want?
29:43A quiet one.
29:49All right?
29:51Mr. Daly.
29:52This is for you.
29:52Oh, please, please, take it.
29:55It's your good luck.
29:56We've been riding on tonight.
29:57Oh, well, if you insist.
29:58Thank you very much.
29:59Yeah, I'll see you in a minute.
30:03I think you should find your nephew.
30:05He's not feeling very well.
30:06Next time, it could be you.
30:12Yeah, he's in the motor.
30:20He's sitting in the bar having a quiet drink.
30:22The hostess is coming.
30:23They said we had some trouble with our driver.
30:26Something about double parking.
30:28I thought Walsh could use hands so I'll go outside.
30:31Next thing I know, kissing the pavement in my head's being used to the football.
30:35Dave.
30:36Hold on, dear.
30:37Yeah, there were three of them.
30:38It was all over before I could get out of the car.
30:40It was Argreaves.
30:41He said it'll be me next time.
30:43Argreaves?
30:45You should do him, Ray.
30:46All right.
30:47Now, don't get excited, Ray.
30:48You'll have a good night's sleep.
30:50You can do him in the morning.
30:59Surprise, surprise.
31:00He's done a bunk.
31:05Don't you ever know?
31:06There are no secrets between us, princess.
31:10Did you enjoy yourself last night?
31:13Did you?
31:14By the end.
31:15I hear Daly got lucky.
31:17The old one, I mean.
31:19He had a couple of lucky numbers.
31:22Daly Jr. did less well.
31:24No doubt the odds were against him.
31:26They still are.
31:27And bad luck, as we know, can be catching.
31:30Right, I...
31:31Look, sorry to bother you, but I've got a problem.
31:35That's all right, son.
31:36I'll leave you to sort him out.
31:41Look, sorry to cut out on you the other night,
31:43but somebody decided to give me a facelift.
31:45So I see.
31:46Who was it?
31:47Hargreaves.
31:48Now, where can I find him?
31:50I've really no idea.
31:51Yeah, but he works for you, Daly.
31:52You must have a number for him.
31:53I do, and it's confidential.
31:56If you want to batter Mr Hargreaves,
31:58you'll have to find him yourself.
32:01There is something you can do for me there.
32:04Try me.
32:06You can invite me to dinner.
32:08Windsor Castle.
32:10Dripping with history, that is.
32:11Indeed.
32:12Oh, yeah, it's all gone on here, you know.
32:14Magna Carter, Amberlynn, Walter Raleigh.
32:17An English stream linking us with the past.
32:20That is what foreigners, you know, begging your pardon,
32:23find it hard to comprehend.
32:25We English are surrounded by bricks and mortar
32:27that remind us of our long and illustrious history.
32:30We have some quite elderly buildings in my part of the world too, Mr Daly.
32:34But are they open to the public, even on bank holidays?
32:38Smile.
32:39Queen Victoria, then an Edward, then a George,
32:44then another couple of King Edwards.
32:47Oh, culminating in our present monarch,
32:50Queen Elizabeth II of that good name.
32:52God bless her.
32:53The House of Windsor stretches back for centuries,
32:56deep into the mists of time.
32:58Only till 1917, actually.
33:01I beg your pardon.
33:02Yes.
33:03Up till then, the royal house had been known as Saxe-Cober-Gotta.
33:07The incumbent King George V felt it inappropriate
33:11for the British throne to bear a Teutonic name,
33:14whilst hostilities between yourselves and Germany
33:17existed in the trenches of France.
33:19So, he changed it.
33:26How's it going?
33:27He tried to tell me George V was incumbent.
33:31I think the man's a communist.
33:38Thanks very much.
33:39You're welcome.
33:49You know, I think I can honestly say that
33:52I've never met anyone quite like you.
33:55Is that so?
33:56Yeah.
33:58You invite me to invite you to dinner,
33:59and then treat me like...
34:00What do I treat you like?
34:03Like I was second class or something.
34:05How should I treat you?
34:07Well, you know, a bit of conversation might help.
34:09Oh, that.
34:11I talk about me, you talk about you sort of thing.
34:14I tell you something about my life.
34:16We have a drink, have a coffee, go to bed together.
34:20Is that the plan?
34:22I'll get the bill.
34:46I was born in Surrey.
34:48I went to Rodine,
34:49and left Southampton University after two terms.
34:52My favourite colour is indigo,
34:54and I won't make breakfast.
34:58Sorry.
35:26No, I tried the flat.
35:26He's not there.
35:28And what is more,
35:29he's gallivanting around in my motor.
35:32Well, if you see him,
35:33tell him I'm miffed.
35:35I mean, in the normal course of events,
35:36I would grant him a bit of leeway,
35:38but...
35:39What do you mean, not interested?
35:50Where have you been?
35:51No, never mind.
35:52I don't want to know.
35:53That way I can look your mother in the eye.
35:54Hey, what's the panic?
35:55We've had a nibble on the waxworks.
35:57Geyser phone this morning.
35:58I guarantee delivery tomorrow.
35:59Yeah, what geyser?
36:00Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
36:01He made a very good offer.
36:03Now, he's promised to send the money over
36:05to the Winchester tonight.
36:06I want you to pick it up.
36:07Oh, well...
36:07Meanwhile, get back to the lock-up
36:08and pack up the rest of the waxworks.
36:10But, Arthur, I've just...
36:10Our man in the fort here.
36:11Go on, off we go.
36:12Arthur!
36:12Go on.
36:17Hello, beautiful.
36:18You're late.
36:18I had some work to catch up on.
36:24I'll get you a coffee.
36:26That'd be nice.
36:31How about spending a nice, relaxing evening
36:34with my place tonight?
36:35I can't.
36:36I'm working late.
36:38For God, so am I.
36:41I'll get that coffee.
36:56I didn't know you hung around
36:57with famous people.
36:59Hi, you made me jump.
37:01We, er...
37:02didn't get much time together
37:03at the club the other night.
37:05Maybe I could return that lunch now.
37:07No, I've got to get to the Winchester.
37:09Oh, great.
37:09I'll buy you a drink there.
37:10Well, I'm meeting a guy.
37:11It's, er...
37:12It's business.
37:12After business?
37:14Dinner, maybe.
37:15I think I might be having dinner
37:17with somebody else.
37:20I'm biting on granite here, aren't I?
37:25Now, what does that mean?
37:27Look, just answer me a question.
37:29Have you got a girlfriend?
37:31Look, I'm not sure.
37:33Fine, I give in.
37:34No, listen, Marion.
37:35I like you.
37:36You're a really good mate.
37:39I'm flattered.
37:41But I am sort of involved.
37:42With that rude bitch
37:44from the jazz club
37:44who you brought to see me singing
37:47on my free tickets,
37:49Vanessa.
37:51Forget it.
37:52I'll see you around.
37:59Here you go.
38:00Cheers, Dave.
38:01Give us the scotch, Dave.
38:02You're not a spirit drinker?
38:04Yeah, well, I am tonight.
38:07There's a man from the waxworks looking for you.
38:09He's over in the corner.
38:11He's not here already, is he?
38:13I was hoping for a bit of a break.
38:17Right.
38:22Here.
38:24I've been looking for you.
38:26And now you've found me.
38:27See that?
38:28That was done by a boot
38:29and heard it was taking its orders from you.
38:31Let me give you some good advice.
38:33Yeah, all right, but let's do it outside, eh?
38:35I don't want to damage the furniture.
38:36Now, you shift.
38:37You having a problem, Ray?
38:38No, it's all right, Dave.
38:41This is Mr. Argreaves.
38:43He hasn't got the bottle to do his own dirty work.
38:45He has to get others to do it for him.
38:46Grow up.
38:47It wasn't me that spoiled your pretty face.
38:49In fact, I had nothing to do with it,
38:50as your girlfriend can confirm.
38:52Who?
38:54Vanessa.
38:55She's waiting for you at the conference centre
38:57to tell you all about it.
39:04You're a long way from Wilson, boy.
39:24The conference centre?
39:26Yeah, what a bloke called Argreaves.
39:28Argreaves?
39:29Oh, my God.
39:30Here.
39:32Ah, ah.
39:33Time again.
39:34Yeah, you're all right.
39:35I've only got one pair of hands.
39:57Vanessa?
40:00Close.
40:01But you don't want the coconut.
40:05What's going on here?
40:07Tell me, son, on a scale from one to ten,
40:10how lucky do you think you are?
40:12Look, what is all this in aid of?
40:14Come on, straight question.
40:15How lucky do you think you are?
40:17I'll get by.
40:18Me, I'm a ten.
40:19Very few of us about.
40:22You, four, five, maybe higher.
40:24Time will tell.
40:25Look, pal, what's your game?
40:26It's my business.
40:28I make educated guesses as to how people are going to do when they come into my casino.
40:33I don't reckon you're going to do very well.
40:36Choose a hand.
40:39Blackjack's not my game.
40:42That says I can beat your hand.
40:44Oh, yeah.
40:45What's my stake?
40:46You come to that.
40:48Pick a hand.
40:56Eighteen.
40:57Pretty good.
41:04Blackjack.
41:05That's how lucky I am.
41:07So I'm unlucky at cards.
41:09Maybe you're lucky in love.
41:10Tell me on a scale from one to...
41:12Oh, that's enough.
41:12I've had enough of your stupid games.
41:13You got me, pal.
41:14That's where you're wrong.
41:15You're involved in one of the heaviest games of your life.
41:20She's another ten.
41:21You can tell that, can't you?
41:23Maybe you've discussed this together.
41:25Hello, Kenny.
41:27What are you doing here?
41:29Sorry to play the gooseberry.
41:30I can see you were expecting a cosy twosome with lover boy.
41:34Don't even begin to think you have the right to...
41:36Her problem is she raises the stakes too high.
41:39She can't quit when she's ahead.
41:41Even after expert advice.
41:44What do you think about that, Sam?
41:46I think she's old enough to make her own decisions.
41:48Oh, new man, huh?
41:51Me, I'm dark ages.
41:53The ambiton.
41:55You stole from me and you pay.
41:57Kenny, this doesn't impress.
41:59Come on!
42:04Leave it out, Kenny.
42:05I've got nothing to fight you for.
42:07Right.
42:07Arthur.
42:08What's occurring?
42:09Ah, here's something to play for.
42:12I take you a part of him.
42:13I don't mind which.
42:17Leave him out of it.
42:19I like it.
42:20Just you and me.
42:21Yeah.
42:22Ray.
42:23Have I explained the handicap system?
42:24What handicap?
42:25Oh!
42:26Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:32Oh!
42:34Oh!
42:36My advantage.
42:37Oh!
42:40Ray.
43:05You're not enjoying this, I'm not surprised.
43:08That's enough.
43:08The boy hasn't much fight in him, has he?
43:10Me, I can go on all day.
43:12Look, whatever we've done, we'll pay for it.
43:13Just name the price.
43:14Money?
43:15You're offering me money?
43:16I've got money.
43:17I've got all the money I'll ever need.
43:19Well, that still doesn't impress some people, does it?
43:21For God's sake, stop him.
43:23There is no stopping him when he gets like this.
43:24Oh, yes, there is.
43:25Just ask me to stop.
43:26Ask me nicely.
43:27Go to hell.
43:28Well, for God's sake.
43:29It's like I'm going to have to do it the hard way.
43:32Oh, yes, there is no stopping him.
44:01Bravo.
44:03You're a winner.
44:05Ray?
44:06I'll be OK.
44:07I never understand boys' games.
44:10Well, these rules are more simple than yours.
44:12You're a very disturbed young woman.
44:15Come on, Ray.
44:20I don't like to say this, Ray, but I've got to told you right from the start.
44:23Not now, I have.
44:24Well, maybe you're right.
44:26Taxi!
44:31Taxi!
44:35Come on.
44:36You'll be sore in the morning.
44:38Arthur, I'm in agony now.
44:41Come on.
44:53I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
44:55You caught me at a bad time.
44:56It really doesn't matter.
44:58It does.
44:59That's what I'm sorry for.
45:01I hurt someone who used to be my friend.
45:04Who still is your friend.
45:07Thanks, Marriott.
45:08Ah.
45:10You do it again and I'll kick you, Edyn.
45:22Arthur, what are you doing here?
45:24Mr. Ozan leaves tomorrow, inviting me for a farewell soiree.
45:27Yes.
45:29To wish him luck with his future guests.
45:32If he treats them as well as he's treated us, I'm sure his business will prosper.
45:36Oh, no, no.
45:36Remember, I've seen you off at the airport.
45:38I'm going to wind up Wilson Entertainment.
45:40Why?
45:41I have a very simple view of life, Mr. Ozan.
45:43I like to get up in the morning, earn a few bob, and while the sun is going down, enjoy
45:48my profits in a club of my own with a cooling VAT and a few well-chosen friends.
45:54Wise philosophy.
45:55Life's too short.
45:56And going by some of the types we met up the West End last week, it could have been a
46:00lot
46:00shorter.
46:00Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
46:02My name is Marion Prince, and tonight I'm going to sing a song for my friend.
46:11So you met someone who set you back on your heels.
46:14Goody, goody.
46:15So you met someone and now you know how it feels.
46:19Goody, goody.
46:20So you gave her your heart too, just as I gave mine to you.
46:25And she broke it in little pieces.
46:27Now how do you do?
46:29So you're lying awake just singing the blues all night.
46:33Goody, goody.
46:34So you think that love's a barrel of dynamite.
46:39You had it coming to you.
46:41And you don't like it, do you?
46:43A goody, goody for him.
46:45A goody, goody for me.
46:48Now I hope you'll satisfy giraffes for you.
46:51A goody, goody, goody, goody.
46:55Ah.
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