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Bait S01E03-4 (2026) | Full Episodes | Watch Online
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00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:15Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shits long
00:18you've created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine. I reckon it
00:23will help them visualize me as bod.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're insane.
00:28Hey, this could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
00:34Saju, have you ever been waiting for me?
00:36Mommy, have you met Felicia? This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:42Mommy, remember I said wait in a car and I'm going to get the sweet.
00:45No, don't give me a ticket.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49Perron.
00:50Same as usual, just babysitting bonnets.
00:52Oh, now when your auntie is waiting for you.
00:53It's a disgrace.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:59Shaji is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:03Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shaji?
01:06Oh, how specific?
01:08I don't remember that.
01:10Oh, look, he's got in the middle.
01:11Just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, Mr. Shaji.
01:14You didn't tell me if you were Asian, you're a black lady.
01:20Sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:28You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen, none of this...
01:38None of this matters, okay?
01:39No one reads the fucking news.
01:41However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm, and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
01:49but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
01:52and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a can of straight paint, huh?
02:01Yeah, you know what I'd say.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine, just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:06All right, so how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the fan today.
02:20I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community,
02:24for the people that you see you're doing all of this for.
02:30Has he got more followers than me?
02:31Shah!
02:34Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it, or seen it, or I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment,
02:45I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:54And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me
02:58than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way,
03:04hurts me deeply.
03:06You're good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So, you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:14Oxford educated, but no sense.
03:17Why didn't you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:20Come, let's take a selfie.
03:22And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power
03:25to make up for it, and to make it right.
03:27Right?
03:29Should have won black.
03:31Hmm?
03:32It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
03:35Hmm?
03:36It is my day.
03:37It belongs to all Muslims.
03:39Well, me.
03:39It's mine.
03:40And she took it.
03:41You know one thing she doesn't have?
03:43What?
03:45Her son, Salim.
03:47You know, golden boy.
03:48I stood to buy a big shot.
03:50Always trying to compete with you.
03:52Bad shot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:56Don't talk, Salim.
03:56I don't think I would talk.
04:01She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:08You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:10Mungy Naila.
04:10Naughty Naila.
04:11Oh, my God.
04:13Mungy Naila.
04:14She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:17But where is she?
04:18She's probably too busy checking herself out in a mirror
04:20to come host her own party.
04:21I need more fighters.
04:23Such a few.
04:24I need more fighters.
04:26I need more fighters.
04:26I need more fighters.
04:26I need more fighters.
04:33Mungy Naila.
04:34Samina?
04:35Good morning.
04:36Good morning.
04:38So happy you could come.
04:40We've decided to co-host this year.
04:42You've been with Tahira Bhatt.
04:44No, but you know, Na'thila.
04:46How do you think it's not?
04:47She doesn't like it.
04:48We don't get it.
04:49I'm doing the decorations for it.
04:50It's a penhouse.
04:53the quran says charity is a blessing
05:02don't leave my side
05:03don't leave my side
05:08hello ladies
05:14in saint
05:17now he has passed you're the eldest
05:19no thank you i'm fine standing
05:24is that how you're going to kill us bond
05:26by raising the blood sugar
05:29yeah i'll mention that to the writers
05:34maybe yeah maybe why don't you do a
05:36pakistani film something with mayra khan in
05:38it
05:38you're doing a good job
05:39I don't know what I do.
05:45Wait, I'm on his butt right now.
05:54Sure, good first try, good first try.
05:56But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words I'm sorry,
06:02which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He's buff, no?
06:05Keith says he's gone mental.
06:07Yeah, it's fucking hard.
06:08Sorry, can you mum focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12Well, this guy likes you.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop,
06:20it's their community like ten times.
06:23It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe down the brow.
06:26I don't get it what is a problem.
06:27Shut up, man, I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get wifed up?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34This is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone.
06:37Shah Latif here.
06:38Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:40a brother and I came into conflict.
06:43I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:46And the brother in question, perhaps,
06:48should not have run at me with a metal object
06:50the way that he did.
06:52Wubba is a community-led...
06:54It's not fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future, I promise to use my platform not to lash out,
07:01but to reach out.
07:04Bro.
07:05Wubba is for...
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:10No.
07:11Wubba...
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good, are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro, we good?
07:15I'm good, are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:17I'm good then.
07:18Wubba, not Wubba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19I'm trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22Alright.
07:23Yes.
07:23Yo, they've got them little laddus over there
07:25with the pink and green balls on it.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Aren't you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:34Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:36Move a fool of a chai.
07:39Move the baby.
07:40I'm in trouble with chai.
07:42Hey.
07:44It's only gone, it's only gone.
07:46Are you kidding me?
07:46Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:54Please, please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm going to get up there.
07:58Salim!
07:58Look at Salim!
08:04Look at Salim!
08:05Salim!
08:06Look at me!
08:10Salim!
08:15Salim!
08:32Salim!
08:35Salim!
08:36Salim!
08:36Salim!
08:38Salim!
08:38Mr. Tobai, look at him, the dancing monkey, doing his mother's dirty bidding, making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
08:45Look, no, he's not, mummy. That was a joke that I just made.
08:50Oh, look at that fresh spray. Zulfi, weakest of us all.
08:56Don't leave, Shahjuh, she's coming. Don't leave.
08:58Shahbeta, can I borrow your mummy for a minute? I need my co-host in the kitchen.
09:02Okay, we'll just... Okay, okay. No, no, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
09:09Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
09:12It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know? It's off the charts.
09:16People want more community-driven ride share options.
09:18Yes, Salim. Yes. What are you saying, bro? Yes.
09:21Look at this guy. You good? Yeah. Come join us, man. Join us.
09:24I'll be busy. I was doing that anyway. Yeah, I got you some letters, bro.
09:27Thank you. Thank you. That's why I never got your number.
09:29How you been? I've been good, bro. Yeah? You've been breaking shit.
09:33What do you mean by that? Glass sealants.
09:36Thank you. Try it, man. Try it. And I got his arm.
09:40It's just a fracture.
09:42Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here,
09:45you know, our number of drivers are growing.
09:46By the day, we'll be in all key five bars by June, so...
09:49Muba! Sick idea, innit?
09:51I've been there from day one, I remember.
09:52Bro, I'm so proud of this guy. Gus Smith, so proud.
09:55And you know what's amazing? He's always been an entrepreneur.
09:57If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
10:04Just out of interest, what was your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
10:08No problems whatsoever. No issues.
10:10And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
10:14It's not just five-bit of violent disorder.
10:15It was. It was self-defense.
10:17It was really before, in a way. He's a ride or die, and he was there for me.
10:19Any credit issues, though?
10:20No credit issues, because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
10:24So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
10:27Sorry, I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than series A.
10:32You see this conversation here?
10:33This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
10:37Right?
10:38In fact, it's too close.
10:40Okay, give me back my dildos, then.
10:44You know, for me personally, the most important quality by Muba
10:48is, in fact, the quality of the relationships.
10:51We're not just there for them when we want,
10:53because that's bullshit.
10:55That's fake.
10:56Get the fuck off me, bro.
10:58I don't know.
11:01And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services.
11:04It's my thing.
11:04That's one thing I picked up in Dubai.
11:06That's what we do best, hospitality.
11:07That's our culture.
11:08One might say, the Muslim way of doing business.
11:11I love the idea.
11:13I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
11:14Well, you're taking this...
11:16You're trying to get investment from Dubai.
11:20Yeah, okay.
11:21Yeah.
11:22You been?
11:23No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with, you know,
11:26all like, with the...
11:27Well, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man?
11:30He ain't going to let you in, bro.
11:31You don't want to go there, man.
11:32I'm all in, yeah?
11:33Remember that.
11:37He was disrespectful.
11:38He referred to your quiff like that.
11:39There was no need.
11:40It looks good.
11:42Shah, got your second apology.
11:44Yeah, that's not going to work.
11:45First of all, what was up with that background?
11:48If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich asshole.
11:51Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
11:54What the...
11:55First class intazam kiya, Naila.
11:57Hmm.
11:58I've learned that from you.
12:00I've learned that from you.
12:00Next year, you'll be back at yours, right?
12:01No, absolutely, yes.
12:03Very kind of you to step in this year.
12:23I see a bit of your sister in here.
12:35Does Shah Jahan have someone you can talk to?
12:38He has me.
12:39Rukhaya had you too.
12:41But she needed more help, na?
12:43And she doesn't know anything.
12:46Naila, please.
12:48It's all good.
12:49My son is going to be the next James Bond.
12:51We all couldn't be more proud.
12:54I'm not going to be the next James Bond.
12:57It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
12:59Really.
13:03It's all good.
13:05First class.
13:54I love all that time.
13:59Sha, we need that apology.
14:01We're running out of time.
14:02I've literally written it out for you.
14:04Just find a quiet, neutral groove.
14:06Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late.
14:09Okay?
14:10Okay?
14:33Mind interrupting something?
14:35Yeah.
14:37A conversation.
14:39Can you fucking close the door, please?
14:42Is this like you two...
14:44I like her.
14:45Texting.
14:46Wow.
14:47So how long has this been going on?
14:48Six months.
14:49Three months?
14:50Okay, so this is nothing.
14:52Can we please not do this in front of Sha?
14:53I'm sure.
14:54I'm not going to tell anyone.
14:55Why don't I come here?
14:55Can we not do this in front of Sha?
14:56I came here for you.
14:58But I never asked you to, did I?
14:59But I asked me to.
15:00I never...
15:00Calm down.
15:01I never fucking asked you to.
15:02And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
15:05This is the whole problem.
15:05So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zilfie then for the thing?
15:07No.
15:08Yes.
15:09Does he know, by the way?
15:09Oh, for fuck's sake.
15:11He's going to find out now, isn't he?
15:12I'm not going to say anything.
15:13I've got your back.
15:14I've got your back.
15:15Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
15:17Let's just be real about what this is because this is something, right?
15:20Me and you both know it.
15:21What does that even mean, bro?
15:24You live a million miles away, okay?
15:27You have a whole life.
15:28You have fucking house keys, car keys, so many keys, okay?
15:32I have one key.
15:33I can give you keys.
15:34I don't want your keys, okay?
15:35I want mine.
15:36Yo, can I just step in here for a minute?
15:37Offer maybe a different perspective from my own more mature experience, yeah?
15:41I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
15:44All right?
15:45All right.
15:45Now, let's say you've been texting.
15:48There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
15:52All right?
15:53Yeah?
15:53You can relate, right?
15:54You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:57Instead of it going green, it goes gray.
16:00What does that mean to you?
16:02It means you're blocked.
16:05Fuck off, really?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Let me just show you this.
16:08Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
16:10Can I show you this quickly?
16:10No, no, no.
16:11Oi?
16:12Don't say anything to anyone.
16:13I'm chill.
16:16Salim, yeah?
16:20He's not fucking chill.
16:27With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
16:30Pasha?
16:31Okay.
16:32He recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
16:35I will lead.
16:36Seated?
16:37I won't be seated.
16:37Think about it.
16:38Let someone else lead.
16:40Listen, you ass-wipes.
16:42I can run circles around you idiots.
16:44I will lead.
16:51By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment,
16:56Shah Latifah's exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
17:00And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor,
17:04he's somehow liberating all of us.
17:05And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
17:19Allahu akbar, allahu akbar, la ilaha illa allah, allahu akbar.
17:30Hey, Shah Latifah here.
17:32I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
17:36and avoidable.
17:37And I'm deeply sorry.
17:39Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
17:41Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem.
17:45Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
17:47Shah Latifah here.
17:48Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object,
17:53and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
17:58Allahu akber.
17:59Hi, Shah Latifah here.
18:01Literally nothing to apologize for.
18:03Trying to save my career and my life,
18:05so I'll fuck you and your little TikTok, you little...
18:13عط MUHAMMEDAH.
18:37Hello?
18:40Yeah, hi, is this Sid?
18:42Uh, yeah. Hi.
18:43Hi, this is Shah Latif.
18:46Is it?
18:47Actually.
18:48Yeah, it is actually.
18:49Bro, I just want to say,
18:51I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
18:56No excuses.
18:57I was banging out of order.
19:01I just don't know what came over me.
19:02I really hope you can find it in your heart to please forgive me.
19:08Shahola, I appreciate this, man.
19:11Like, I really do.
19:12I was going to call my lawyers,
19:14but then the fact you called, man.
19:16Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
19:18I can't tell you how much this means, man.
19:20Legit.
19:23Well...
19:24Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
19:27Like, in a recording?
19:29Sorry?
19:30I need the engagement, bro.
19:33Right.
19:33I mean, I guess so.
19:35Nice, man.
19:36Appreciate it.
19:37All right.
19:37Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
19:39Just remember,
19:40keep the bid under 90 for the algorithm, yeah?
19:44Mm-hmm.
19:44I will do.
19:45All right.
19:45See you.
19:58What is this?
19:59What is this?
20:01What is this?
20:02Whoa, whoa, whoa.
20:03What's the problem?
20:04Yeah, what?
20:04What happened?
20:06You fell.
20:07What?
20:08I wasn't praying on a chair already.
20:09You want to sit down?
20:11Oh, come on.
20:12How's your breathing?
20:14You okay?
20:15Huh?
20:15Why didn't you sit him down?
20:16Well, now you want to be involved.
20:17What the fuck is that supposed to be?
20:18I'm doing something inside.
20:19You're for yourself.
20:19Don't come at me.
20:20You always fucking want to be the hero
20:21and you're never around.
20:22All right.
20:23All right.
20:23Come on, mate.
20:24Baba?
20:25Do you care?
20:26Is anyone getting any water?
20:28I'm going to do you want to get a blanket or something?
20:33Are you good, bro?
20:34Huh?
20:34Are you good?
20:36Are you dumb?
20:37He's a fucking diabetic
20:39and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
20:40Shabbat, bada.
20:41All right, all right.
20:42Shabbat, just fuck off again, yeah?
20:43He's better when I'm not around.
20:44That's what you're saying.
20:45No, no, he's not my dad.
20:45He's your dad.
20:46Shut you.
20:47Huh?
20:47Shut you.
20:48You know what?
20:49You think you're a fucking bad man.
20:50Oh.
20:51Fucking, yeah, my people is my bad.
20:52How the fuck are you going to help your people
20:54if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
20:56Hey, bro.
20:57It's okay with me.
20:57He's just crying about it last night, bro.
20:59What?
20:59You came in to take care of me.
21:00You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
21:01I thought you were giving out your little business cards.
21:02That's some sweaty little minicap driver.
21:04Stop.
21:04Blow it.
21:04Blow it, bro.
21:05Just come on.
21:06Tell the truth.
21:06He's been leeching off me my whole life.
21:08Why are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
21:09Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
21:11He's trying to chirp your little sister.
21:13What?
21:13Only chirping.
21:14I love her.
21:15All right.
21:15What the fuck, man?
21:17Are you fucking, are you mad?
21:18Listen, don't listen to him.
21:19He's lost the fucking plot.
21:20He's been chatting to her pig's head in the freezer.
21:21What?
21:22What freezer?
21:22In the garage and he's been talking to her.
21:24You talking to a pig's head?
21:25What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:27Better listener than any of you lot.
21:28That's what happens when you're related to you guys.
21:30I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
21:34Why are you saying that to me?
21:39No, no, I'm asking.
21:40Why is he saying that to me?
21:41Baba, what did I do?
21:41What did I do?
21:42I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
21:43I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
21:45Well, you lot will judge me.
21:46Huh?
21:47Why are you fucking touching me?
21:48Don't touch me.
21:49Shh.
21:49I'm trying to change the world.
21:51All right?
21:51So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless thinking.
21:55Peter Baggy, look at me.
21:56Get the fuck out of here, boss.
21:58Baba, I'm the problem, am I?
21:59She blames you for what happened to your mom, bro.
22:01Shut up.
22:01I'm the problem.
22:43One mixed brew, one biryani, and some naan.
22:53Enjoy your meal.
22:54Let us know if you would like anything else.
22:55Can I have some more water?
22:57Yes, sure.
23:09Oh my god, Yasmin.
23:12What the fuck?
23:14What are you doing here?
23:16What are you doing here?
23:18Oh yeah, you come here every year on Eid, don't you?
23:21I totally forgot.
23:23You forgot?
23:24Yeah, yeah, I'm just here.
23:25I'm just picking up some poop.
23:27Right.
23:28Yeah.
23:28What a coincidence.
23:30Actually, um, do you mind if I...
23:35What's happening?
23:37I just told you, I'm just here to pick up some poop.
23:39On the other side of London, at 9.30.
23:41On Eid?
23:42On Eid?
23:43Yeah.
23:44Don't eat that.
23:45Why not?
23:46You won't like it.
23:47I think I know what I like.
23:48It's chicken, not lamb.
23:51Why would you get the chicken?
23:53Trying new things.
23:54Is that okay?
23:55No.
23:55It'd be weird because the lamb's a signature.
23:57Okay, so you're here because of the article.
23:59Can we stop pretending?
24:01I'm sorry, what article?
24:03Are you being serious right now?
24:06I'm sorry if I missed your...
24:07What is it?
24:07An article?
24:08That sounds fun.
24:09Tell me about it.
24:09You were doubling down on this.
24:11Great.
24:12Dude, you know how it's like.
24:13I've got busy.
24:14You're busy.
24:15Well, I'm sure you're not fixated on everything that I'm doing, right?
24:17This is a strong take.
24:18I've got to hand it to you.
24:19I don't know what you mean.
24:20It sounds like you think I'm like killing myself to be something that I'm not.
24:24And you memorized it.
24:25That's sad.
24:27Who's that?
24:27Oh, are you sad?
24:28I'm not sad.
24:29I've been having a great time.
24:29I've been swapping out political art for vanilla distraction.
24:33Can you stop quoting my article, please?
24:35And it's not even about you, actually.
24:37Oh, it's not about me.
24:38Full disclosure, Shar Latif and I know one another and have spent time together socially?
24:43Is that how you're going to describe our relationship?
24:46That's how you describe the relationship, right?
24:47And you calm down.
24:48These people are not your audience.
24:50You're ruining their dinner.
24:51And mine.
24:51This is revenge porn, man.
24:52This is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture thing piece.
24:56Is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over?
24:59Yeah.
24:59Actually, it is.
25:00That's a sub-genre of revenge porn.
25:02Yeah, it is.
25:03It doesn't matter what kind of porn it is.
25:04Delete that now.
25:06Delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
25:08Yeah, it's good.
25:08And the deleted pics folder.
25:10What do you think?
25:10I'm fucking thick.
25:11Pics your mouth.
25:13Isn't that what you want?
25:13And that's not a private language here, you idiot.
25:16Dude, can you just delete it?
25:17I wanted a selfie.
25:18You can talk to me.
25:19I'm very approachable.
25:20Uncle, yeah, thank you.
25:21Dude, enjoy your milkshake.
25:22Show's over.
25:23What are you doing?
25:24Are you kidding me?
25:25Enjoy your little fan one.
25:25Come on, man.
25:26Have you been paid?
25:27Is she paid?
25:28Yes, I paid.
25:29Another dramatic one.
25:30Okay, look.
25:30Time out, please.
25:31I just want to talk.
25:32Excuse me.
25:32After all this time.
25:33Can we just have a chat?
25:36It's not right, man.
25:37It's not right.
25:38I'm here.
25:39I'm here.
25:39I'm here.
25:41I'm here.
25:42Fucking hell.
25:43Where is she there?
25:44Is there a back door?
25:46Where's the back door?
25:47I think they're here for me, right?
25:49Anyone?
25:50Fine.
25:50Thanks.
25:51I'll find it myself.
25:52Wait.
25:53Wait.
25:55Sorry.
25:58Is there an exit?
26:00Hey, hey.
26:00Go away.
26:01It's not allowed.
26:02Not allowed, please.
26:04All right.
26:06Sorry.
26:06What are you doing?
26:07Did you not do a fire?
26:08No.
26:08It's not allowed to be here.
26:10It's not allowed to be here.
26:12I'm not trying.
26:13I'm trying to be there.
26:14I'm on my way out.
26:16I'm on my way out.
26:17Open up.
26:18Open up.
26:18It's not allowed.
26:20It's not allowed.
26:21I didn't, I didn't...
26:22Chargers, stop.
26:24Okay.
26:25Okay, sorry.
26:26I want to be done all wrong.
26:27I just wanted to see you.
26:28The last bit wasn't my fault.
26:31Come on now.
26:31That was crazy.
26:33You're crazy.
26:34Me?
26:35Come on.
26:36You knocked three people out just by staring at me.
26:38If you ever need a job, I could do with security.
26:42If you think that was fine, you have some serious issues.
26:46Better than you know.
26:46Book club for wine.
26:47What kind of ETH is that, huh?
26:48How about your ETH?
26:49What?
26:49Crossing London to stalk your ex.
26:50You need help.
26:52You know what?
26:52I do.
26:53And you did help me.
26:55And I'm grateful, because it shows that you care.
26:56I do care.
26:57Rose's more beautiful, lady.
27:00You know what?
27:00Yeah.
27:01I'll buy a rose.
27:03I should be thanking you, right?
27:05No.
27:05Can you help me?
27:07How much are you?
27:08Five of you.
27:09Okay, that's a bit steep.
27:10I'll do 250 for her.
27:11You're embarrassing yourself.
27:12That's not the first time I would have done that for you, though, is it?
27:16I don't need a rose from you.
27:17You don't need anything from anyone.
27:18No, just not from you.
27:19Actually, my life's pretty great.
27:21Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds.
27:22And I'll buy you a rose, and I'm going to stop from scratch.
27:25Five pounds is expensive.
27:28Hmm?
27:29You know, if you knew me at all, you know, I hate roses.
27:33I remember that.
27:34I just...
27:34You've got to love the gesture, huh?
27:37You love the gesture.
27:37Guys, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on Brick Lane?
27:4020% off for the lovely couple, eh?
27:42We're not a couple.
27:43We used to be.
27:44You met my family.
27:45Yeah, I did, actually.
27:47And you know what?
27:48He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad.
27:51Well, not in a thunder way.
27:52Just my dad's a bit of a, like, little pervy uncle, mate.
27:55Listen, she was making out like I would've locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating.
27:58Yeah?
27:59She put all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm proud.
28:02That's racist, isn't it?
28:02Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white neo-colonial MI6 agent?
28:06But if I paid him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
28:08Yeah, but you would be.
28:09Guys, I've got an idea.
28:10Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
28:12I think that's better for you.
28:13Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening?
28:16A date?
28:18That was not a date.
28:19She was a world colleague that I brought.
28:21She was shit in your mango tree flop.
28:23Guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen.
28:25Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her.
28:27God forbid anything come from all that.
28:29Okay, okay.
28:29Hadn't we broken up by then?
28:30Sure.
28:31That night was about me.
28:32Okay?
28:33And also, taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
28:35Okay.
28:36Then how exactly would you define how we-
28:37Fucking cunt.
28:38Fuck!
28:39What?
28:40I left my bag at the restaurant.
28:42Okay, do you, um, you have to go back there now?
28:43I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
28:45Where are you going?
28:46Fuck, Argentina.
28:47What?
28:48Why are you going to Argentina?
28:49Wait.
28:51Someone's taking it.
28:53My airports are moving.
28:54Fuck.
28:54Oh shit.
28:55You're gonna catch that.
28:56Fuck.
28:56You need a cabinet.
28:57Oh wait!
28:59Taxi!
29:00I need to get it back.
29:02That's gone.
29:03Listen.
29:03Can you just, just let me help.
29:05Just trust me for once.
29:08I don't know.
29:09Come on.
29:10Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:13Come on, come on, come on, come on.
29:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:14Seriously?
29:15Hey mate, listen.
29:16Can you give us a lift?
29:18Yeah.
29:18Okay.
29:18Yeah?
29:19How fast is this guy?
29:21Not that fast.
29:22Faster than walking though, isn't it?
29:23Well yeah, it's a bike.
29:26If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
29:28Understood?
29:28You always say that, but you're still here.
29:30Yeah, well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
29:32Hey, this is an emergency.
29:33Can you follow the stop?
29:35Yeah.
29:36Alright auntie, I got you.
29:37Yeah, auntie, you're definitely gonna get a tip.
29:39Alright, listen.
29:40It's gonna be fine.
29:41What's an auntie, Tina?
29:43Funding came through for my doc.
29:44The shipwreck one?
29:45Mm-hmm.
29:46Cool.
29:47Come on.
29:49How are you, man?
29:51I don't mean I'm a patronizing for you.
29:52Well, it was a little bit patronizing.
29:54No, seriously.
29:54I wish there were more no kinkies about shipwrecks.
30:07Your dad is more her than Fondo.
30:12I appreciate you saying that.
30:14He would've killed to have me in your family.
30:17I would've liked to kill him, but I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that.
30:20What the fuck are you doing?
30:21Chill out, mate.
30:25How is he?
30:27He's not good.
30:29Nah.
30:29He's not, um...
30:32Yeah, he's not good.
30:38I think my whole family aids me.
30:41They probably do.
30:52Shut up.
30:57That is...
30:58Come on, that's crazy.
31:00Of all the tunes.
31:01That's wild.
31:03I don't know what to do.
31:03I don't know what you're feeling.
31:06I can make you feel better.
31:07I can make you feel better.
31:09I can make you feel better.
31:09Better, turn it up for your auntie.
31:11I'll get an auntie when I'm raving.
31:14I can make you all clean.
31:19Don't pretend so bad.
31:21You feelin' cry so hard that you can't conceal it.
31:26Whatever you feel inside, I can make you feel better.
31:30Is it here?
31:30Somewhere around there.
31:32Maybe it's in the diner over there.
31:33In there?
31:34Yeah.
31:37Thanks.
31:38Yeah.
31:3910% off your next ride.
31:40Leaving tomorrow.
31:41Well, when you get back then.
31:42Not coming back.
31:43What do you mean, I'm coming back?
31:44Doesn't matter.
31:46What do you mean by that?
31:47Got money.
31:48Jolly.
31:49No, man.
31:50Nice one.
31:53What do you mean you're not coming back?
31:54No.
31:56It's here.
31:59Okay.
32:00Okay?
32:00Um, yeah.
32:02I think, is that down there on the left?
32:04Yeah.
32:04Hurry up.
32:05It takes weeks to get a new passport.
32:06Don't worry.
32:07We're going to get it.
32:07Wait, I think it is.
32:09It's like behind.
32:10It's this one here.
32:16Hi.
32:18Hi.
32:19Welcome to the glow up.
32:2025 head.
32:21Oh, I'd like to pay.
32:23Please.
32:23But I don't know my wallet or funds.
32:26How has this become an expensive date for me?
32:32And here are your putty bags.
32:36Down the corridor on the right.
32:38Okay.
32:39All right.
32:39Okay.
32:40So what are we looking for exactly?
32:41Uh, it's a bum bag.
32:42Okay.
32:43What kind of bum bag?
32:44Just a bag.
32:45Right.
32:46Neo.
32:47Pink and yellow.
32:48Wait, is this the one that I got you?
32:50Yeah.
32:51Oh.
32:52All right.
32:52Relax.
32:53What?
32:53No, we shouldn't be too hard to find, right?
32:56It's a useful size bag.
32:57Okay, okay.
33:01Oh, I'm sharp.
33:06It might be a bit tricky.
33:08Oh, shit.
33:10I'm never going to find my bag in here.
33:12Whoa.
33:13Aren't you forgetting something?
33:15Say what?
33:16Check your goodie bag, mate.
33:17Can't let you on the dance floor like that.
33:21Oh, with the paint.
33:23All right.
33:25Fuck it.
33:27I'm not really...
33:28I'm shit at this kind of...
33:29Sit down.
33:29I'll do it.
33:34Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
33:35Be nice.
33:36Be nice.
33:37Why am I not nice?
33:40As much as you want to humiliate me,
33:45remember whose passport...
33:46Don't rush the artist, please.
33:50Sorry.
33:53Or look into her soul.
33:59Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:02Um, I don't know.
34:03You look so much fitter with that nose ring, man.
34:06What?
34:06Fuck you.
34:07What?
34:07I'm just going to take the attention away from that cold, dead look in your eyes.
34:11Probably around the same time as you started losing half your hair.
34:14You know, thinning hair is linked to high levels of testosterone.
34:17I know you're broke, so if you need some money for a hair transplant and donkey, you just
34:21let me know.
34:22No, I'm fine.
34:22You know, I just take all my self-loathing and I rub it on my scalp every day.
34:25Thanks for chopping me up on self-loathing.
34:27Next time I see you, you're going to have shaved your head and you're going to tell me it's
34:30for a role.
34:32Or, because I'm going to have a really secret sad illness and you're going to be so upset
34:35about what time you spend together now that I'm dead.
34:38Yeah?
34:38Yeah.
34:39Death guilty.
34:40That's a straight up auntie move.
34:41It is.
34:42Sorry, did that trigger you?
34:44Sorry, does that turn you on?
34:45I know.
34:46I know.
34:46Nice to meet you, buddy.
35:08Hit it up.
35:10Yeah.
35:12Let me check in.
35:18Big job.
35:57What are you looking?
35:57Sorry.
36:03She's not a bad head in the end.
36:04Not the worst.
36:05Really?
36:09What are you looking at me for?
36:10I don't have it.
36:10I don't have it.
36:11I don't have it.
36:23I don't have it.
36:31I'm going to go to the bathroom, yeah?
36:32I don't have it.
37:03Are you f***ing mad?
37:04Pah!
37:07Don't listen to him, he's not a f***ing girl.
37:08I'm not the first time I've ever had to lose my mind.
37:10What?
37:31Oh!
38:05Hey!
38:08Hey!
38:13Did I find it?
38:23And I just want to say, what you're doing, you've been halfway across the world on your own.
38:29It's amazing.
38:30You're fearless, I've always admired that about you.
38:33Thanks.
38:39So, where are you going to live?
38:41A flat or something?
38:43Yeah, I found a place near the offices.
38:45Okay, great.
38:46Yeah.
38:48Do you like a good neighbourhood?
38:49I'm just saying a woman out there on her own.
38:52I can take care of myself.
38:53I know, I know, I know.
38:54Spanish is kind of s***, so you're going to need someone to...
38:57What are you doing?
38:58What am I doing?
38:59I'm looking at your passports and I'm having a little bit of a race.
39:03What?
39:05Found the bag, didn't you?
39:08No.
39:11What?
39:11Yeah, you did, you psycho.
39:14What are you talking about?
39:15You just said passports with a f***ing s.
39:17Where are they?
39:18Where are they?
39:19Fine, fine, fine.
39:23Oliver Windrock?
39:24F***ing Windrock, man.
39:26And I'm the one trying to be white.
39:27Now then, leave me the bag.
39:28F*** off!
39:49Hey, why did you lie to me?
39:50I didn't f***ing lie to you.
39:51Tell me you've got a boyfriend.
39:53Why do you think I'm here?
39:54You're the one that lied about the passports.
39:56Okay.
39:57Alright, then I'll be honest now.
39:58I'm not here for your f***ing article, okay?
40:00I'm here for you.
40:01Look, I'm here for you.
40:03Because I miss you.
40:05I miss us.
40:08Okay?
40:10I'll admit that.
40:12Now, can you admit?
40:14If it's really all done between us,
40:16it's a little bit weird that you didn't want to tell me about your boyfriend.
40:18How long?
40:19A year?
40:19A year?
40:20That you're moving to another country tomorrow?
40:23Yeah.
40:23I mean, there's something.
40:25I've got cold feet.
40:26This is a f***ing big decision.
40:28Okay, so you've got cold feet.
40:29Yeah, okay.
40:30But I didn't want to see him on my last night in London.
40:33Am I out here running around with you?
40:35Why is that?
40:36Hmm?
40:36But he's f***ing great.
40:38He's really great and he loves me.
40:40And he's reliable and he's there for me.
40:43So, I don't know.
40:45I don't know.
40:56Do you want to know what it's like?
40:57Hmm?
41:01Doing the dirty work.
41:04Fighting with everybody.
41:05Being a nobody.
41:06And being a nobody.
41:10I...
41:11I don't live with myself.
41:14I live with...
41:16whoever they need me to be.
41:21And if I don't know who I am,
41:22it's because I feel like maybe you don't want to know.
41:28Are you acting?
41:29Are you acting?
41:31No.
41:32It's like...
41:34lines.
41:34They are lines, but the feeling is honest.
41:40You're insane.
41:50Please don't go.
41:55Take care.
41:57Okay?
41:58Okay.
41:59Okay?
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