Love, marriage, and chaos begin all at onceβ¦ ππ In The Miniature Wife S01E01 2 (2026), a coupleβs relationship takes an unexpected turn as strange and emotional situations start unfolding.
As tension mixes with humor, their marriage faces challenges they never imagined.
π Watch now and enjoy the beginning of this unusual story!
#TheMiniatureWife #Episode1 #Episode2 #DramaSeries #FullEpisode
As tension mixes with humor, their marriage faces challenges they never imagined.
π Watch now and enjoy the beginning of this unusual story!
#TheMiniatureWife #Episode1 #Episode2 #DramaSeries #FullEpisode
Category
πΊ
TVTranscript
00:00:05this is a love story love it's supposed to be patient and kind but let's be honest
00:00:15it's irrational it can make us crazy and sometimes downright insane i should know
00:00:24my husband made me small no it's not a metaphor he made me six inches tall
00:00:40i'm literally the size of a dry martini shaken stirred and nursing the burn of every sip
00:00:50even at our ugliest i still believe our love's worth fighting for
00:00:57but fair warning it's going to get worse before it gets better to us to us
00:01:13to recapturing magic to the journey not the destination and to dr carmichael
00:01:19couples therapist extraordinaire to her words of wisdom
00:01:24it's speaking of the journey it was bumpy yeah a few potholes yeah yeah checked into separate rooms
00:01:33um but i am working through my narcissistic tendencies and i am working on my accountability
00:01:40issues and here we are we made it got to the next stop dr carmichael's new year new us colon
00:01:49a grand gesture i'd like to go first okay great
00:02:01i've arranged to get the vermont gang back together at the gray house on new year's eve for our
00:02:06anniversary so we can renew our vows new year new us i'm speechless we were so happy there
00:02:20really really are gary and mack gonna be there they're giving up cabo lulu our daughter has not
00:02:26returned my call oh she's 18 she will they don't do phones always send a text okay okay my turn
00:02:31okay
00:02:33this will be but the last christmas that we spend in st louis because i have listed our house
00:02:40with the contingency to run it back from the bio through next december i am going to land this big
00:02:45fish and tomorrow i'm gonna get eld smith to bankroll the final stage of my life's work so that in
00:02:51one
00:02:51year lindy we can move back to the gray house permanently like i promised years ago a clean slate
00:02:59and a fresh start i supported you and you got your prize and all i ask is that for one
00:03:06more year you
00:03:07support me so i can get mine are you serious the listing went up today
00:03:15okay is this real very
00:03:25less
00:03:29i love you lindy i love you too
00:03:42thank you thank you thank you for inviting me back into our bed
00:04:09how does one solve the problem of feeding the world
00:04:14only less little john knows now what if we could take say an ear of corn and shrink it to
00:04:22a fraction
00:04:22of its original size just imagine a farmer could grow ten a hundred a thousand ears of corn in the
00:04:30space it takes to grow one but how does cellular reduction work my revolutionary molecular transformation
00:04:38process fundamentally changes the distance between atoms oh the real question is can you restore the
00:04:45corn cob to regular size after it's been miniaturized not only can we do it we will do it together
00:04:51help him smith we can make more with less that's l e s i'll take it from here less okay
00:05:05now it's time to blow your minds
00:05:09you call this the mini barn card no one calls it that okay it's just me see i grew up
00:05:18on a farm
00:05:19richard
00:05:47richard
00:05:49richard
00:05:49richard
00:05:51richard
00:06:04richard
00:06:04richard
00:06:07richard
00:06:32richard
00:06:34It was the first and the best GMO tomato on the market.
00:06:37But it was a failure.
00:06:38Well, no, it wasn't.
00:06:41It was a breakthrough, but it tasted like old Band-Aids.
00:06:44Admit it.
00:06:45No, I don't think I will.
00:06:48Admit it or walk.
00:06:50No.
00:06:55Fuck yeah!
00:06:56You should never admit failure.
00:06:58I got you.
00:06:59Yes, you did, Hilton.
00:07:01But this agrotech is going to change the world.
00:07:05Jinx?
00:07:05And just think, this is only the beginning.
00:07:08Sorry, who are you?
00:07:09Vivian, Hilton's chief scientist.
00:07:11I'm the guts.
00:07:12I just write the checks.
00:07:13The brains.
00:07:14And my guts never make mistakes.
00:07:17I mean, I would write you a check right now.
00:07:21But for some reason, I'm just not feeling yummy in my tummy.
00:07:29You.
00:07:30Me?
00:07:31Who are you?
00:07:33Is this a true question?
00:07:34I don't know.
00:07:35Is it?
00:07:36Well, who are you?
00:07:38I'm awesome.
00:07:39I'm Hilton.
00:07:40Well, I'm awesome.
00:07:41I'm less.
00:07:44Yeah, I'm going to need more.
00:07:52You liked it?
00:07:55Yeah, I'm going to lose my house.
00:07:58I'm going to lose my house.
00:08:22I'm going to lose my house.
00:08:29Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
00:08:32That's a lifetime ago.
00:08:34Uh-uh.
00:08:35Eighteen years and still a fanfave?
00:08:37Listen, Richie.
00:08:40We need to talk.
00:08:42Uh-oh.
00:08:43No.
00:08:44Yeah.
00:08:45No, we've just begun.
00:08:47Richie.
00:08:47Hold on.
00:08:48This is just the first act.
00:08:50Do not turn this into a tragedy.
00:08:52Tragedy's a better story.
00:08:54Oh, I wish they had a section on how to repair an emotional affair.
00:08:59Listen, you really saw me when I needed it the most.
00:09:03I did.
00:09:04Yeah, and you really gave me that emotional intimacy that I craved, you know?
00:09:10Mm-hmm.
00:09:11You were a great shoulder, an ear.
00:09:14Mm-hmm.
00:09:14You're so handsome, young, smart.
00:09:18No, stop it.
00:09:19And maybe in another life, but...
00:09:21But I fell in love.
00:09:24And you?
00:09:25I fell in less.
00:09:27Hell, yes.
00:09:28Yeah.
00:09:28Why?
00:09:30Les knows the real me, the worst of me, and he still loves me.
00:09:35I could love the worst of you.
00:09:37No.
00:09:38Yeah?
00:09:38He has 20 years on you, and you've known me, like, a few months.
00:09:41Six and a half.
00:09:44Les...
00:09:45He made a grand gesture, and he promised me a fresh start, and I believe him.
00:09:51Why?
00:09:52No, no, no, no, no, actually, don't say.
00:09:54Love should remain a mystery.
00:09:57My mom told me that.
00:09:59Okay.
00:10:01I'm gonna go.
00:10:01Just...
00:10:02Wait, wait.
00:10:03This...
00:10:03Oh, God, no, no.
00:10:04I got you this Christmas present.
00:10:06Absolutely cannot accept this.
00:10:08You must, or it means our love was in vain.
00:10:10Shh, shh, not love.
00:10:10Okay, okay, okay.
00:10:11Okay.
00:10:11Just open the card first.
00:10:13There is no need to thank me.
00:10:16Okay.
00:10:31Merry Christmas, my love.
00:10:33In anticipation of a new year, new you, and new us, I thought this would be a great start.
00:10:39Open the present.
00:10:41I'll wait.
00:10:52I hate this rag.
00:10:53I know you hate this rag, but I knew you'd never send it in yourself.
00:10:58Give it a quick read.
00:10:59See if you recognize it.
00:11:02Oh, Richie.
00:11:04No, no, no, no.
00:11:05What have you done?
00:11:06I presented to be your book agent.
00:11:08Your story is gonna be in the New Yorker.
00:11:12No.
00:11:13I didn't write this.
00:11:15I'm fucked.
00:11:16I know it's overwhelming, and I'm sure you don't.
00:11:19Oh, fuck, Richie.
00:11:22No, no, no.
00:11:23Oh, my fuck.
00:11:25Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:11:26Oh, bitch, pick up, pick up.
00:11:28Hi, this is Terry.
00:11:29Leave a message.
00:11:30Terry.
00:11:31Oh, fuck.
00:11:32Okay.
00:11:32There is a story.
00:11:34There's a story in New Yorker with my name on it, and I need you to call me back.
00:11:38This is an emergency.
00:11:39For serious this time, call me back.
00:11:41Oh, fuck.
00:11:44Ah!
00:11:53Shut the door.
00:11:54Why?
00:11:55Because I want to raise my voice.
00:11:58Jesus, jumping crackers.
00:11:59Why would you invite Hilton to your charity event at your home tonight?
00:12:05Because he wants to know who I am.
00:12:06But Lindy will be there.
00:12:08And?
00:12:08I'm sorry.
00:12:09Am I the only one that remembers last year?
00:12:11The silent auction?
00:12:13The pool incident?
00:12:14And you're still serving alcohol this year, right?
00:12:16Count me out.
00:12:17I'm sorry.
00:12:18I cannot watch.
00:12:21I don't think that my heart or my stomach can tolerate another interaction with him.
00:12:27But we are broke.
00:12:29And here's all we have.
00:12:31There are no more interested investors less with Hilton's kind of cash.
00:12:36You know what?
00:12:36Lindy and I are fine now.
00:12:38We're good, even.
00:12:39And we're renewing our vows.
00:12:41New year.
00:12:42New us.
00:12:42Yes.
00:12:43You said that last year.
00:12:44This year it's going to stick.
00:12:45You sleeping in the same bed?
00:12:46Yes.
00:12:47Just sleeping?
00:12:48Sleeping plus.
00:12:50Big plus?
00:12:51Small plus.
00:12:52It felt so much better if it was big.
00:12:54We're on the road to big.
00:12:55I promise you.
00:12:56Um, okay.
00:12:58Lindy, it's me.
00:12:59It's me calling you.
00:13:01Um, I'm not panicking, but just call me back before the party, okay?
00:13:03It's not an emergency, but it's an emergency.
00:13:05See, my polyp is gone.
00:13:10Yeah, but there's a hole in my heart now.
00:13:12Sounds like a case for the Bard's Guard.
00:13:14So I'll be unable to attend your party this evening.
00:13:17Our loss.
00:13:17Good luck, Richard.
00:13:42You're not Jackie.
00:13:43I'm Hell.
00:13:44Don't make me raise it.
00:13:45Who are you?
00:13:46I'm Professor Littlejohn.
00:13:47Jackie's Professor.
00:13:48Did she leave for break already?
00:13:49Have I missed her?
00:13:50I hope not, because I'm her fucking ride.
00:13:52Jackie!
00:13:54Professor Littlejohn.
00:13:55Yeah, Lindy.
00:13:56You should call me Lindy.
00:13:57Oh, uh, Hell, uh, Professor Littlejohn is the reason that I'm here.
00:14:02Oh, you wrote that book she loves.
00:14:04I didn't read it.
00:14:05No offense.
00:14:06None taken.
00:14:07Jackie, I'm so glad I caught you.
00:14:09Can we talk?
00:14:10Yeah.
00:14:11Just real quick.
00:14:12Oh, you mean without me?
00:14:13I do.
00:14:14Oh.
00:14:14Is it okay?
00:14:15Oh, yeah.
00:14:15A bit rude.
00:14:16No offense, but sure.
00:14:18Okay.
00:14:18Let's just have a...
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:20Um.
00:14:23Have I done something wrong, Professor Littlejohn?
00:14:25Oh, no, no.
00:14:26Gosh, no.
00:14:27No, I have.
00:14:28I have.
00:14:30I, um, I need to tell you something.
00:14:33Uh.
00:14:37I loved your short story.
00:14:41Untitled on Purpose.
00:14:42Yeah, that's the one.
00:14:42Yeah, I loved it.
00:14:44It was brilliant.
00:14:45Uh, the prose was incisive.
00:14:47Oh, just the voice, fresh, distinguished, rare.
00:14:50One that deserves the attention of the New York literati.
00:14:55Wow.
00:14:57I mean, that means the world to me, Professor Littlejohn.
00:15:01It's almost Christmas and you're at my door complimenting my work.
00:15:03I, oh my gosh, I couldn't ask for a better guess.
00:15:05Okay, listen to me.
00:15:06Listen to me.
00:15:07Yes?
00:15:07You need to turn it into a novel right now.
00:15:11Now?
00:15:13Really?
00:15:14Really now.
00:15:15Mm-hmm.
00:15:15Um, I guess I could get started over the break.
00:15:19No, you need to take next semester off.
00:15:20And just write.
00:15:21The whole semester.
00:15:24The whole semester.
00:15:24You just want to isolate and write.
00:15:27While it's fresh, while it's here, while Untitled on Purpose is coursing through you, right?
00:15:32Yes, I feel it.
00:15:33Okay, so you need to isolate and write.
00:15:35Uh, no distractions, no internet, no novels, no magazines, no, uh, nothing.
00:15:40No, nothing.
00:15:41Right?
00:15:41Nothing.
00:15:42And just all winter long, a very, a room of one's own.
00:15:45Right.
00:15:45Wolf it.
00:15:46Right, wolf it.
00:15:47Could you do that?
00:15:48Yes, well, oh, well, how's that?
00:15:49My uncle Flip, he has a cabin back in Montana that's super isolated.
00:15:54Ah!
00:15:54Walden Pond isolated.
00:15:55That's perfect.
00:15:56Right?
00:15:56Yes.
00:15:57Jackie.
00:15:57Yeah.
00:15:59This has the potential to be your...
00:16:02My rainbow starts with black?
00:16:04No, Professor Littlejohn, it, it couldn't.
00:16:07Jackie.
00:16:08I should know.
00:16:09My goal in life is to just write one, one great novel like you.
00:16:16That's okay.
00:16:17So we're agreed.
00:16:18You're going to isolate and write.
00:16:20Yes.
00:16:20All semester.
00:16:21All semester.
00:16:22You're going to Montana.
00:16:23Yes.
00:16:24Remember, no magazines.
00:16:25Right?
00:16:25No, you don't want any?
00:16:26Uh-uh.
00:16:27Just turn off the internet.
00:16:29Okay?
00:16:29I will unplug completely.
00:16:31Yes.
00:16:32Okay, hey, Merry Christmas.
00:16:34Merry Christmas to you too.
00:16:40Oh.
00:16:42That's...
00:16:44Right here.
00:16:46That's...
00:17:00Terry, thank Christ.
00:17:02Okay, listen, I...
00:17:03Maybe I have ten minutes.
00:17:05Blindsiding me with one short story published in the New Yorker over the last two decades
00:17:08gets you one.
00:17:09The fact that we've been friends for more than 20 years gets you another.
00:17:12And the other eight belong to Gillian Flynn.
00:17:14He continues to publish bestsellers, which bought me a classic six off the park.
00:17:19I didn't write the story.
00:17:20It's my students' work.
00:17:24My ex-emotional lover.
00:17:26Long story.
00:17:27Found the fucking story in my bag and thought it was mine.
00:17:30And I...
00:17:31Why would I correct him, you know?
00:17:33He sent it in...
00:17:35Without my knowledge on my behalf.
00:17:37Because he...
00:17:38Long story.
00:17:39Adored me and...
00:17:40Thought I was capable of writing something great again.
00:17:42I'm taking a sabbatical from Wash U.
00:17:44I'm headed to the Grey House.
00:17:46Les and I are gonna renew our vows.
00:17:48Long story.
00:17:49You're invited.
00:17:50I know you hate him.
00:17:51I did too.
00:17:52But he has a good dad.
00:17:54And I'm committed...
00:17:56To committing to my marriage.
00:17:58So...
00:17:58I cannot handle...
00:18:00This shitstorm right now.
00:18:02Which is sure, by the way, to tarnish your reputation as well.
00:18:05So if you want to keep that classic fix...
00:18:07Then can you please...
00:18:09Please...
00:18:10Fix this fucking mess...
00:18:12So I can focus on my vows and my marriage like I promised.
00:18:15I hate you.
00:18:17I know.
00:18:18I hate me too!
00:18:21No, you're not allowed to thank me.
00:18:28Oliver!
00:18:29Oliver!
00:18:30Oliver!
00:18:33Oliver!
00:18:34Oliver!
00:18:34Oliver!
00:18:47Les has been calling.
00:18:48I've been texting.
00:18:49And I have been busy.
00:18:50Les needs you on best behavior tonight.
00:18:53Hilton Smith is attending.
00:18:55Condescending as always, Starla.
00:18:57And who?
00:18:58Necessary.
00:18:59And he is a big investor.
00:19:00You know.
00:19:01I thought the cover was on the pool last year, right?
00:19:03You know that.
00:19:04Great!
00:19:05You already picked up the first frame to meet.
00:19:06I did.
00:19:06Yep.
00:19:07It's locked.
00:19:08I know.
00:19:10Is this another party protest?
00:19:11No.
00:19:12Hilton is here in five.
00:19:13Starla.
00:19:14Your dress is upstairs.
00:19:15I need you inside.
00:19:15Now.
00:19:16What dress?
00:19:17Les had me assess your wardrobe situation.
00:19:19And we both agreed that the only option was to outsource an upgrade.
00:19:22Insulting?
00:19:24And what if I hate it?
00:19:25Your futures are on the line.
00:19:27He said to me, quote,
00:19:29No new year, new us without new money.
00:19:31Unquote.
00:19:32So please, just move.
00:19:34Get out of the car.
00:19:36Now.
00:19:37Goodbye, Starla.
00:19:39I will have the valet physically remove you.
00:19:43I need a minute.
00:19:46One minute.
00:19:49You need a Hulk out front?
00:19:51Stat.
00:20:18Come on.
00:20:20Tell me what Les is working on.
00:20:21This is the cover of Scientific American.
00:20:24He tells me nothing else.
00:20:26Mm-hmm.
00:20:26Mm-hmm.
00:20:27And you never ask.
00:20:28Bullshit, Lenny.
00:20:29I have printed that same quote from you ten times over the years.
00:20:32All I'll say is First Rule of Fight Club.
00:20:35Blame.
00:20:36And outdated.
00:20:37Just like Scientific American.
00:20:49Vodka dry.
00:20:58Oh, thank you.
00:21:07Big Red has landed.
00:21:10Where's Lindy?
00:21:11I need eyes on Lady Tomato.
00:21:12Help me.
00:21:13Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets.
00:21:16Double negative.
00:21:17Big Red is not happy.
00:21:18I know amazing style when I see it.
00:21:21Oh, this is a facade.
00:21:24Oh, well, the facade is working.
00:21:27I'm teetering on the precipice of being outed as a fraud.
00:21:31Which I probably deserve.
00:21:34I'm supposed to be the supportive wife.
00:21:38But my career going up in flames is banging around my brain.
00:21:42That's all I can hear.
00:21:43What does your husband think about that?
00:21:45Oh, he has no clue.
00:21:47He's a fraud, too.
00:21:49Is that so?
00:21:52Welcome, everyone.
00:21:55Every year, I say I'm going to keep it short.
00:21:58And that this night is not about me.
00:22:00It's about the children.
00:22:02And tonight, I'm actually going to keep that promise.
00:22:04But, you know, let's be honest.
00:22:06It has to be about me first.
00:22:08Because you're all here to bid on my stuff.
00:22:11Well, he's just playing the role of a charitable philanthropist.
00:22:17But all he really cares about is his life's work.
00:22:20Jack first, himself second, our daughter third, me last.
00:22:24Which I probably deserve.
00:22:26Well, just curious.
00:22:27What do you think about his life's work?
00:22:30And a very personal little ditty about Jack and Diane.
00:22:34My John Cougar Mellencamp Velcro wallet.
00:22:37With my high school ID still inside.
00:22:40Huh?
00:22:41Where else are you going to get one of those?
00:22:42I can't tell you that.
00:22:46It's so top secret, actually.
00:22:47I have no idea what it is.
00:22:50Hold on a second.
00:22:50My top elf is really trying to tell me something.
00:22:53Lady Tomato and the Brando at Deepak.
00:22:55His two drinks and third on deck.
00:22:57You're fucking joking.
00:22:58You're fucking fired.
00:22:59I'll turn on a headset.
00:23:02But I can tell you, he's brilliant.
00:23:08Don't tell him I said that.
00:23:10Yeah.
00:23:11I mean, I'm already last.
00:23:12You know, what's after last?
00:23:16Not much.
00:23:17So, yeah.
00:23:18Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
00:23:21And hopefully that covers it all.
00:23:24Okay.
00:23:26Less?
00:23:27Five minutes.
00:23:27No.
00:23:28Two.
00:23:28One.
00:23:28Later.
00:23:29Maybe.
00:23:29Done.
00:23:29Oh, everybody was up.
00:23:31Stop.
00:23:32Stop.
00:23:32Stop.
00:23:32I'm just explaining to this gentleman why there's no outdoor access this holiday season.
00:23:36So, as a joke, last year I put into the silent auction.
00:23:39As a joke, watch Almighty Les walk on water.
00:23:44I thought the cover was on the pool.
00:23:46Oh.
00:23:46It was hot.
00:23:47I'm so sorry.
00:23:48You get it?
00:23:48Hilton, I'm so sorry.
00:23:50I just want to say I'm so sorry.
00:23:51Well, I pay right now to see that.
00:23:53Awesome, Les.
00:23:55If you can walk on water, you got my money.
00:23:58Are you being serious?
00:23:59No.
00:24:00No?
00:24:01Oh, great.
00:24:02So, I can still get the money?
00:24:03After the conversation with your wife, I don't know.
00:24:09Hi, Hilton, I didn't know.
00:24:10Okay, Lindy, why don't you just not say anything and maybe go and get us a lot of drinks?
00:24:16Okay, so, Hilton, I don't know what she said.
00:24:18Well, she said that you put work first, family third, and her dead last.
00:24:22That's out of context.
00:24:24What kind of man are you?
00:24:25I know.
00:24:26I just, I can explain.
00:24:27I can explain.
00:24:31You never explain anything.
00:24:33I got you.
00:24:34Again.
00:24:35Again.
00:24:36You suck at me.
00:24:37I do, I do, I do.
00:24:38So, just to be clear, Lindy didn't tank the deal.
00:24:40She closed it.
00:24:42Now she's awesome.
00:24:44Workaholics, they changed the world.
00:24:46I'm a workaholic.
00:24:47I should know.
00:24:49Thank you so much.
00:24:50Thank you so much.
00:24:51I want to go to work right away.
00:24:52Like, fuck the holidays.
00:24:53Yeah.
00:24:54Put it on my Christmas card every year.
00:24:55Yeah, you really see me.
00:24:57We both do.
00:24:58Oh, it's you again.
00:24:59Hilton's chief scientist.
00:25:01Oh, the brains.
00:25:01And the boots.
00:25:03The boots?
00:25:03The boots on the ground.
00:25:04What do the boots do?
00:25:05The boots ensure that my guts are never wrong.
00:25:09The boots are part of the deal.
00:25:11I'm all in.
00:25:13Are you?
00:25:13Awesome.
00:25:14Bless.
00:25:21Fine.
00:25:21Just tell me.
00:25:23I'm melting down.
00:25:24Because I fucked the deal.
00:25:26No, I closed the deal.
00:25:27I closed the deal.
00:25:28Fantastic.
00:25:29No.
00:25:29What do you mean no?
00:25:30That's so great.
00:25:32Oh, my God.
00:25:32I was so worried.
00:25:34No, no.
00:25:34Now, I am saddled with one of Hilton's network of bio spies.
00:25:38His chief scientist is going to come in, and she's going to take credit for my work,
00:25:42and all of this will have been for nothing.
00:25:44I will be nothing.
00:25:45My legacy will be nothing.
00:25:47I shall go to the grave without a Nobel.
00:25:49You know, this was my last chance at greatness.
00:25:53God.
00:25:54God.
00:25:54Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on, you remember Joan Ryan, huh?
00:26:04Yeah, my nemesis at MIT.
00:26:06That's right.
00:26:07You were convinced that the PhD board was going to pick her over you, and you were going to
00:26:13be relegated to just a footnote in the science community or some other science bad thing,
00:26:17right?
00:26:17But what actually happened, Les?
00:26:21They chose me.
00:26:23They chose you.
00:26:25And where's Joan Ryan?
00:26:27Teaching at Berkeley.
00:26:31And where are you?
00:26:32In St. Louis.
00:26:33But why?
00:26:34Oh, uh, to give the finger to those ungrateful pricks at Monsanto, and to build the Menlo
00:26:41Park of the Midwest.
00:26:42And how?
00:26:43How?
00:26:43Because I am a partner in my own company, creating the bio-agrotech that will change the
00:26:47world.
00:26:48That's right.
00:26:48Yeah.
00:26:49You're going to change the world.
00:26:52And you are.
00:26:54I've always believed that.
00:26:56Even when you hated me?
00:26:57Oh.
00:27:00Especially when I hated you.
00:27:02So what do I do?
00:27:04You do what you always do.
00:27:06You get back in the workshop, and you figure it out.
00:27:11That's what Les Littlejohn does.
00:27:14Yeah.
00:27:14Right?
00:27:15Yeah.
00:27:16Right.
00:27:17Okay.
00:27:18Oh.
00:27:18Okay.
00:27:20That's it.
00:27:22That's it.
00:27:23Thank you for being so understanding.
00:27:27Oh, God.
00:27:29So now I've got to get back in the workshop.
00:27:31And let's move our renewing our vows to next year.
00:27:34That's a fantastic idea.
00:27:35Les, no, I didn't.
00:27:36What?
00:27:37Huh?
00:27:37That's what you said, right?
00:27:39Huh?
00:27:40Did I?
00:27:41Yeah.
00:27:42Gary and Meg.
00:27:43Oh, Gary and Meg would much prefer to go to Cabo.
00:27:45Let's send them something.
00:27:46Sign my name.
00:27:46No, no, no.
00:27:47That will be so humiliating.
00:27:48Don't worry.
00:27:49Don't worry.
00:27:49I'll tell Lulu that she can just go skiing with her friends like she wanted.
00:27:51So I'll see you when I see you.
00:27:53I'll be back when I'm back.
00:27:53And I love you.
00:27:55And I can't wait for New Year.
00:27:57New us next year.
00:27:58Mwah.
00:28:05They're fucking kidding me.
00:28:07Is he fucking kidding me?
00:28:28Wendy?
00:28:28Hey, Richie, um, I made a mistake and I'm leaving, Les.
00:28:36Tonight.
00:28:37I hear the emotion in your voice and it's beautiful.
00:28:40I've been hoping for a Christmas miracle.
00:28:42Yeah, I'm going to go to Vermont.
00:28:43I'm going to go to the Grey House.
00:28:45And I, um, could you, could you come with me?
00:28:48Where you finished your masterpiece.
00:28:50I'd be honored to be invited.
00:28:52A gift beyond measure.
00:28:53Uh, I have ten vacation days and one personal day bag.
00:28:56And, oh.
00:28:57Heart emoji.
00:28:59Uh, let's meet at Mandy's Diner at midnight.
00:29:02Heart emoji bag.
00:29:03I'll arrive with joy in my step and a light in my heart.
00:29:06Did you love my present?
00:29:08Fuck.
00:29:09Pardon?
00:29:10Yeah, I...
00:29:11I didn't have the heart to open it.
00:29:15So, um, I'll just bring it with me, okay?
00:29:18New year, new you, new us.
00:29:20Oh, is Vermont cold?
00:29:22I get...
00:29:43Everybody out in 30 minutes or Hulk is going to see me smash.
00:29:49Iceberg ahead, 30 clicks.
00:29:51Abandoned ship.
00:29:51Lady Tomato about to burst.
00:29:53Hey, hey, hey.
00:29:55Les, promise me a minute.
00:29:59I'll give you 20.
00:30:14I'll give you 20.
00:30:17Excuse me?
00:30:19I thought the boots up my ass might start after the holidays.
00:30:23Martin signed the LOI ASAP and Hilton turned on the money hose in good faith.
00:30:27I didn't sign.
00:30:28I'm a partner.
00:30:29Apparently not the important one.
00:30:32Oh, well, now I'm inspired, and I would like you to leave.
00:30:37A genius needs his space.
00:30:39Exactly.
00:30:41And I plan on being inspired throughout the holidays.
00:30:44I know this is a difficult transition period.
00:30:46I'll give you 20 minutes.
00:30:48I'll give you 20 minutes.
00:30:49But I will be back tomorrow.
00:30:52Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:30:57Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:30:58Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:08Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:10Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:10Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:11Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:11Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:12Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:15Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:18Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:21Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:31:35Mills, I don't have time
00:31:39She what?
00:32:02You're old, text me
00:32:09Fuck you too
00:32:14Starla?
00:32:25Freezers, off limits, from now on, till I say
00:32:27I need to regroup
00:32:29Where are you going?
00:32:31I'm leaving you
00:32:32If anyone should be leaving anyone, I should be leaving you
00:32:35How's that?
00:32:36For trying to sabotage my career?
00:32:38Think I don't know?
00:32:38You don't think Mills will call me for comment, Lindy?
00:32:41Scientific American, not TMZ
00:32:44I'm a hoax
00:32:44I'm threatened by a female scientist taking credit for my work
00:32:48You mentioned Joan
00:32:50I'm not a misogynist
00:32:51I'm not intentionally
00:32:53But anything, I'm an accidental misogynist
00:32:55And I too blame the patriarchy for that
00:32:57I never said misogynist
00:32:59Why would you do this?
00:32:59Why?
00:33:00You don't know why
00:33:02Is it about Gary and Meg?
00:33:04This is about you
00:33:06And our marriage
00:33:08And breaking the promise of step three colon
00:33:10A grand gesture
00:33:11And our daughter who hates me
00:33:13Sucking the life out of me
00:33:15And my promising writing career
00:33:17Career?
00:33:18Stop!
00:33:19It was one book in the early aughts!
00:33:22This is what you did
00:33:22You basically, you turned in a book report
00:33:24On your fucked up family
00:33:26You changed the names
00:33:27You added a little bit of wry sarcasm
00:33:29And then you called a fiction
00:33:30And you got lucky
00:33:31My rainbow starts with black
00:33:34No shit
00:33:34My book report
00:33:36And the subsequent Oscar nominated film
00:33:39It's based on
00:33:40Bought and paid
00:33:41For this extravagantly sad McMansion
00:33:44In this podunk red state town
00:33:47You forced us to move to
00:33:49So that you could try to be something other than
00:33:51Mr. Fucking Tomato Head
00:33:53It's the last thing I need right now
00:33:55Oh my
00:33:55I'm so sorry
00:33:57What is it you need right now?
00:33:59I need you
00:34:00Yeah
00:34:00I need your support
00:34:01This is my last chance
00:34:03You
00:34:04Already got your prize
00:34:06And
00:34:07In case you forgot
00:34:08I was by your side
00:34:09For every
00:34:10Fucking
00:34:11Sentence
00:34:12Every book signing
00:34:13Every interview
00:34:14I held your purse
00:34:15I held my tongue
00:34:16You know
00:34:17I was there for the ride
00:34:18And it wasn't always pleasant
00:34:19You know
00:34:20The rollercoaster of insecurity
00:34:21And emotion
00:34:22Was frankly fucking exhausting
00:34:24I have paid that debt
00:34:26I have been by your side
00:34:28For 15 years
00:34:29You had
00:34:30Flavor savor
00:34:32And it
00:34:33Was
00:34:34Insufferable
00:34:35Still is
00:34:37But I didn't get my moment
00:34:38In the spotlight
00:34:39Like you did
00:34:40I didn't get my prize
00:34:41Swing and a miss
00:34:43How is it my
00:34:44Fault?
00:34:46How?
00:34:47My apologies
00:34:48Forgive me for being ambitious
00:34:50I'm coasting by
00:34:51On a one hit wonder
00:34:52Isn't enough for me
00:34:54Maybe you don't have
00:34:54Another hit in you
00:34:55Huh?
00:34:56Maybe you're one and done
00:34:58Maybe your ego
00:34:59Just won't let you
00:34:59Read the room
00:35:00I would rather be
00:35:01Blinded by my ego
00:35:02Than paralyzed by fear
00:35:04That's me?
00:35:04That's what you think of me?
00:35:05Yeah
00:35:05Because you haven't produced
00:35:06One goddamn sentence
00:35:07In 15 years
00:35:09What kind of magic
00:35:10Do you think you're suddenly
00:35:11Going to find
00:35:11In your beloved grey house?
00:35:12Huh?
00:35:13With me by your side
00:35:14Like an emotional support animal
00:35:15Encouraging you
00:35:17Keeping you calm
00:35:18Because quote
00:35:18I promise we'd return there one day
00:35:21Unquote
00:35:21I mean
00:35:21I am through
00:35:23Being held emotionally hostage
00:35:25For your creative paralysis
00:35:27And there it is everyone
00:35:29That's our show
00:35:32Same line every time
00:35:40This is the top secret thing
00:35:43You've been working on
00:35:44Give me that
00:35:45A Tonka truck
00:35:46Is not going to change the world
00:35:48Let alone agriculture
00:35:49As we know it
00:35:51You have no idea
00:35:51What you're talking about
00:35:52This is what you said
00:35:52To every female scientist
00:35:54That's ever had a better idea
00:35:55You know most men
00:35:56Overcompensate with a big truck
00:35:58It's nice to see
00:36:00Yours to scale
00:36:07What a gentleman
00:36:08Oh fuck
00:36:10What?
00:36:11Oh no, Lindy
00:36:12What the?
00:36:15What's your job?
00:36:31Oh god, is she dead?
00:36:39Lindy
00:36:41Say something
00:36:42Are you alive?
00:36:43Oh, you're alive
00:36:48Fuck you
00:36:49Fuck you
00:36:50Oh
00:37:06Merry Christmas
00:37:08I don't want to fight tonight
00:37:26Last
00:37:29Oh fuck
00:37:32Oh
00:37:35It's time
00:37:59Last
00:38:01Last
00:38:03us. Why would you put the plaid back up? It's my eyes and my head. Oh, I'll try January
00:38:20starts today. Oh wow, that really cleaned up. Less. Who's at the door?
00:38:51What is this nonsense? No, no, no, no, no. Lindy? Everything is fine. Don't freak out. Lindy?
00:39:17No, no, no. Okay, I'm opening up the dollhouse. Stop screaming at me!
00:39:47There you are! You're okay! I am not okay!
00:40:05I am not okay! It works! I can hear you! You're too loud! Sorry. Well now I can't hear you!
00:40:15How about now? No, too loud! Now? Softer. No. Better. I hate this fucking thing!
00:40:27Can you hear me now? Say again? Can you hear me now? Yes! Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you
00:40:35okay?
00:40:36I'm fine! I heard that. God, I think we got it. Hi!
00:40:42What the fuck, Les? I heard that too. Loud and clear. Okay? Mindy, I'm so sorry. It was an accident.
00:40:49And, and, uh, I can't believe it even happened. I, I, I, I, but you're incredible. I mean, you're beautiful!
00:41:01Are you smiling right now? No, no, no. No, of course not. I, I just, I, just like, wow.
00:41:12Wow. Wow? Wow?
00:41:14No, I apologize. You're my wife and you're not an experimenter.
00:41:18Oh, I should hope so! Jesus, oh my god. This is your job? This how you're gonna solve world hunger?
00:41:26You're gonna make everybody tiny so, so they don't, what, eat more? I don't-
00:41:31Uh, do, do you want me to answer that or?
00:41:34Explain it to me!
00:41:36Well, um, it's called cellular reduction and, um, it's the process of miniaturization and restoration of organic fruit and vegetables.
00:41:46And that's how I plan to solve world hunger.
00:41:50Explain how you're gonna make me big again! Jesus, I don't give a shit how it works!
00:41:55Oh right, well, I just reversed the process. That's the restoration part.
00:41:59Great! Restore me!
00:42:03Now, please!
00:42:04I can do that. Um, uh, but first, uh, a surprise. Ha, meet me in the dining room.
00:42:14Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:42:16Les, do I look merry or hungry?
00:42:19Well, it's kinda hard to tell from this distance, um.
00:42:22I'm not! Make me big again, now!
00:42:25Heard that, loud and clear. Um, the thing is...
00:42:29Tell me you can make me big again, Les!
00:42:32I can, and I will. Um, the thing is, that it's just, I think it's just gonna take a day,
00:42:37uh, or two, tops.
00:42:39But, you'll be fine. Everything's gonna be okay. You're healthy. I checked your vitals.
00:42:44Wait, I could die? Tiny?
00:42:46No, you, you're not gonna die, Tiny.
00:42:50You'll be safe in the dollhouse.
00:42:52Because it's, it's almost exactly the same as our house house.
00:42:56Um, the stove works, the refrigerator works, there's food, the water runs, and I shrunk a few of your favorite
00:43:04things to really make you feel at home home.
00:43:06Uh, your clothes. From your closet. Um, and uh, this curling thing.
00:43:17And your hairbrush. Uh, cold cream. Looked important.
00:43:22Oh, and I remembered your coffee. And the coffee maker worked perfectly, right?
00:43:27Oh, one crucial thing, um, the toilet. Uh, it works. I figured it out. Just don't ever look in the
00:43:32hall closet. Downstairs. Ever.
00:43:34You will be restored to regular size. I-I-I promise it. This is just temporary, Lindy. I am so
00:43:40close. Truly.
00:43:42Now it's so close? Not a day or two tops? Less? You motherfucker!
00:43:52Hey, calm, calm down.
00:43:57Calm fucking down!
00:44:01Calm!
00:44:04Calm!
00:44:07Calm!
00:44:08Calm!
00:44:12Calm!
00:44:13Calm!
00:44:15Oh, she forgot!
00:44:18This is weird.
00:44:19Hey, Lindy.
00:44:21I'm gonna need a minute!
00:44:24I don't wanna do it all.
00:44:28What are you doing?
00:44:29Hey Lindy!
00:44:30He's been away.
00:44:43You can refilm the ladies' cup, too.
00:44:47She's on her way, Bob.
00:44:49She's gone back to her husband.
00:44:50No.
00:44:51They always do.
00:44:52Not this time.
00:44:53Because we've got plans.
00:44:55Yep.
00:44:56We've got concrete plans.
00:45:01How about a ten-day getaway to Vermont for two?
00:45:07Uber romantic.
00:45:15There are multiple reasons you could be late.
00:45:17No, I know Lindy's coming.
00:45:19Why, you may ask?
00:45:21Because our love story is woven into the fabric of time.
00:45:26Destined to be written.
00:45:28Immortalized for generations to come.
00:45:31Oh.
00:45:33Quiet, everybody, please.
00:45:34Quiet, please!
00:45:36Sorry.
00:45:37Oh.
00:45:38It's work.
00:45:39It's work.
00:45:41Hey, Martin.
00:45:44Well, I was going to head out of town, so...
00:45:48No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:45:49Of course.
00:45:50Of course.
00:45:50I'll just...
00:45:50I'll head into the...
00:45:51Into the lab.
00:45:55No, I've...
00:45:55I've not heard from us.
00:45:58Wait.
00:45:58What do you mean you can't get a hold of them?
00:46:02Yeah, I'll...
00:46:02Okay.
00:46:02Bye.
00:46:03Does this mean your romantic getaway is canceled?
00:46:06Pfft.
00:46:07Bart, can I be honest?
00:46:08I love your service, but I don't love the negative energy.
00:46:13Oh.
00:46:15He's suffering?
00:46:21Take those off!
00:46:22I feel like a specimen!
00:46:24And come closer!
00:46:25I don't want to keep yelling!
00:46:30Jesus, the 96?
00:46:32If there was ever a time.
00:46:34I know why you didn't tell me about your work.
00:46:37Well, I couldn't.
00:46:38It was top secret.
00:46:39I signed an ironclad NDA.
00:46:41It's bullshit.
00:46:43You didn't trust me.
00:46:45Which makes me so...
00:46:47Sad.
00:46:49Makes me so sad.
00:46:52Fuck you.
00:46:54But...
00:46:54Yeah.
00:46:59Well, I didn't exactly hide it from you either.
00:47:02What?
00:47:04Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:07They are so cute!
00:47:11Wait.
00:47:12And legible?
00:47:14Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:16They're so cute.
00:47:18Oh, and functional.
00:47:21Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:24How cute.
00:47:26And accurate.
00:47:28The dent from when I sideswiped the mailbox.
00:47:33Never put it together.
00:47:35You also said you didn't want to know.
00:47:39Well, you're not leaving me.
00:47:41Well, I have to go so I can fix you.
00:47:43No, no, no.
00:47:44No!
00:47:44Less!
00:47:45Take me with you.
00:47:46I'm portable.
00:47:47You'll be safer here in the dollhouse.
00:47:48I feel very not safe.
00:47:50I feel very small and like something bad could happen.
00:47:54I won't let something happen.
00:47:55Something did.
00:47:56Something else.
00:47:57Beyond the accident.
00:47:59But I have to go to the lab so I can fix you.
00:48:01Please, Les.
00:48:02I do not want to be alone.
00:48:03Please, I'm scared.
00:48:04Well, what if I can show you that, um, being small isn't scary?
00:48:09Oh, God.
00:48:10I've always wondered what the world would look like if I were six inches tall.
00:48:13Not me.
00:48:15I can show you.
00:48:16No, I... I don't.
00:48:18Aren't you just a little bit curious?
00:48:20I will be restored to regular size soon.
00:48:24I promise.
00:48:25Trust me.
00:48:29Okay.
00:48:32This is crazy.
00:48:33You're crazy.
00:48:33Huh?
00:48:34Oh.
00:48:35Huh!
00:48:44Huh!
00:48:45Huh.
00:48:52Huh!
00:49:09Yeah, I mean, everything's really big, really.
00:49:28Wow, I can only imagine how different everything looks, right?
00:49:33You see this dust ball?
00:49:37Do you think I could choke on this?
00:49:39Oh, yeah, put that down.
00:49:44Hello, Dolores.
00:49:45Look who it is.
00:49:47See?
00:49:48She's not that scary.
00:49:49Why is she looking at me like that?
00:49:51Oh, oh, it's puffing up.
00:49:53Do you see what it's doing?
00:49:55No, no, no.
00:49:56It's trying to eat me.
00:49:57No, this is not interesting to me.
00:49:59Can you put me down, please?
00:50:01Put me down.
00:50:15Fun, right?
00:50:16We all love a train ride.
00:50:18Merry Christmas, Lily.
00:50:19Merry Christmas, Wendy.
00:50:28Merry Christmas.
00:50:30Merry Christmas.
00:50:32Merry Christmas, Wendy.
00:50:35Merry Christmas, Wendy.
00:50:36Woo!
00:50:37Woo!
00:50:38Merry Christmas to me.
00:50:46Merry Christmas, Wendy.
00:50:49Maybe too many times around?
00:50:51I want to get home.
00:50:53I don't like it.
00:50:55Oh, I'm going to be sick.
00:50:57Oh.
00:50:59Oh, God.
00:51:01Oh.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:05Oh.
00:51:07It's going to be OK.
00:51:09I'm so sorry this happened.
00:51:11Oh.
00:51:12So incredibly sorry.
00:51:24Water truck ran out of shrinking gas.
00:51:26I'm going to go to the lab to refuel.
00:51:28What am I supposed to do with this?
00:51:29I thought I could crush it up and you could maybe snort it, but I don't know.
00:51:34Um, Scarface?
00:51:35I'll just gnaw on it or something.
00:51:41Who are you feeling?
00:51:43Really?
00:51:44I mean...
00:51:45I know what you mean.
00:51:47Better.
00:51:48Better.
00:51:50I did always love this couch.
00:51:53Oh.
00:52:05When you're ready.
00:52:07Ah.
00:52:09Pour away.
00:52:13Don't be shy.
00:52:15So, this is my, uh...
00:52:20Tiny little life now?
00:52:21Temporary.
00:52:22Tiny life.
00:52:23How long again?
00:52:24A day.
00:52:25Two at the most.
00:52:26I'm so close.
00:52:27So close.
00:52:28Yeah.
00:52:29Yeah.
00:52:34Did you microwave this off the floor?
00:52:36Floor is clean.
00:52:37You're the first person to ever walk on it.
00:52:40Huh.
00:52:40Six inch tall Neil fucking Armstrong?
00:52:42Kind of.
00:52:51Less, you put parmesan in the potatoes.
00:52:54Potatoes a la Diane.
00:52:57With a twist.
00:52:59Who?
00:53:00Reese Witherspoon from Legally Blonde.
00:53:02She's gonna play me in the movie.
00:53:04She's gonna play the sister character.
00:53:06I still don't know who that is.
00:53:07Walt?
00:53:08She's blonde, wears pink, goes to Harvard.
00:53:11That's a stretch.
00:53:12What?
00:53:12I am blonde.
00:53:14Less said that we could be twins.
00:53:16I'm sure he's just being kind.
00:53:18No, no, I think with the bright hair and makeup, you know Hollywood.
00:53:20I mean.
00:53:21It's beyond me why they're even adapting a book into a film.
00:53:24Because it sold a million copies.
00:53:26Because it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:28Hollywood must be out of ideas.
00:53:31You're not excited?
00:53:32Uh, Laura Dern is playing the mother.
00:53:34I adore Laura Dern, but I question her judgment.
00:53:38The book wasn't well received.
00:53:39I repeat, it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:41The Guardian dupted literary popcorn and added, that does not a Pulitzer make.
00:53:45Their words.
00:53:46Which she memorized and repeat constantly.
00:53:49I can barely show my face at Wine Club Wednesday without Carol turning her nose up at me as if
00:53:55I were the devil incarnate.
00:53:56Walt?
00:53:57Your mother needs your Wine Club Wednesdays.
00:53:59That's not a stretch.
00:54:01Mom.
00:54:02It's fiction.
00:54:03Carol didn't see a character.
00:54:05Carol saw me and the me in your book is a monster.
00:54:09It's a comedy, it's a dark comedy, a coming of age story about a woman who felt abandoned and silenced
00:54:17by a monster of a mother character.
00:54:20You try being a single mother of two young girls whose husband walked out one day without a word.
00:54:27Walked out or was driven away?
00:54:29Jim abandoned me.
00:54:30No, he stopped being married to you.
00:54:34He abandoned me.
00:54:36Me too.
00:54:37And he's still the hero.
00:54:39I tried my best.
00:54:41Walt?
00:54:42If I may, Walt, Diane, have you tried the potatoes?
00:54:46I call them potatoes a la Diane, with a twist.
00:54:50Is the twist a turn of the knife?
00:54:52It's Parmesan cheese.
00:54:53Try it.
00:55:00It's too rich, but absolutely divine.
00:55:03Just like you.
00:55:09Walt.
00:55:11I think we should visit the arch tomorrow.
00:55:13I hear it's dreadful.
00:55:16Yes.
00:55:17Yes.
00:55:17No, I don't get the arch.
00:55:19It's like an arch for what?
00:55:21It's the gateway to the west.
00:55:24I think it's great.
00:55:25I can barely show my face on wine club Wednesdays.
00:55:30Hollywood has run out of ideas.
00:55:32I think Laura Dern is very generous casting.
00:55:34I have to say hello.
00:55:40What's going on?
00:55:41Do you want to have sex?
00:55:42Oh, yes.
00:55:43Yes, we're here.
00:55:45We'll be quiet.
00:55:46We'll be fine.
00:55:46All right.
00:55:47You're set to high volume.
00:55:50Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:52Watch.
00:55:54Okay.
00:55:55All right.
00:55:55Okay, go.
00:56:03Go ahead.
00:56:16Oh my god.
00:56:20Oh my god.
00:56:22Oh my god.
00:56:24Oh my god.
00:56:25Oh my god.
00:56:26Oh my god.
00:56:26Jesus, what?
00:56:27Can I help you?
00:56:28Obviously this isn't the washroom.
00:56:30It's down the hall with the light on.
00:56:32The one with the toilet.
00:56:34I can see the light.
00:56:41He's trying to escape.
00:56:45We're to the arch.
00:56:48Oh my god.
00:56:50Oh fuck.
00:56:51Okay, okay.
00:56:53Maybe I can't be quiet.
00:56:55I don't think you can.
00:56:58Hey.
00:57:02What?
00:57:03I'm not really like her though, right?
00:57:05My mother, I'm not like Diane, am I?
00:57:09Does that make me Walt?
00:57:12Seriously?
00:57:12Seriously?
00:57:13Seriously?
00:57:16No.
00:57:17Fuck no.
00:57:18Because she's-
00:57:19No, she's unbelievable.
00:57:20Not in a good way.
00:57:24It's gonna be okay.
00:57:26It's only a few days.
00:57:31Only a few days.
00:57:37It's only a few days.
00:58:01It's only a few days.
00:58:10What?
00:58:11What?
00:58:12What?
00:58:14What?
00:58:14It can't be right.
00:58:18Okay, I'm coming in.
00:58:19Now.
00:58:21Now-ish.
00:58:28What?
00:58:45Magoo.
00:58:49Stand.
00:58:51Stand.
00:58:54wuuah.
00:58:55Ow ow ow ow ow ow!
00:59:02C'mere.
00:59:05Ow.
00:59:06Fuck, you fuzzy fucker.
00:59:09Stop.
00:59:22stop it you're fine you're bad enough already I mean she's safe right
00:59:46hey yes Richard what is it oh you seem upset no Richard I'm
00:59:51fine I'm fine you know I sometimes come in my car to cry too when I need a
00:59:56release so I get where you're at okay right is that all now you've got me
01:00:02worried is everything all right at home you know with your wife Lindy Lindy's
01:00:06her name everything okay good good she's just uh keeping busy over the
01:00:12holidays Richard she's at home writing she's writing that's wonderful
01:00:19that's wonderful Richard get your butt inside I'm sorry you use profanity up
01:00:24I'm upset I'll see you later
01:00:39last last
01:00:42that is the toy
01:00:52oh he left me right I have to trust him I cannot spiral oh yeah why not okay that's it
01:01:12that's good space colon
01:01:16colon colon colonel colonel space colonel next stop Uranus
01:01:23I could fuck I'm already spiraling you made me believe you were so close so I believed you
01:01:31yes and you should believe me that's our deal there is mathematical truth in stating I am so close
01:01:36so what does so close mean to you in this context today
01:01:41my god I can't put an actual number on it I don't know
01:01:46what
01:01:48what have you done what have I done Martin I didn't want to say you have one job contract is
01:01:54for 30 days
01:01:56that's insane well you said that you were close 30 days
01:02:01well it will work I mean the math says it will and math is never wrong so now you have
01:02:0830 days no no no we have 30 days
01:02:10oh now it's we what does it say exactly what does the small print say exactly
01:02:13it says that we have 30 days to prove that the restoration formula works
01:02:19or the patent on our tech on my tech thank you
01:02:23reverts to Hilton and Hilton sues you sues us
01:02:28for fraud and you go to jail to jail well can he do that he can and after 30 days
01:02:35it goes the the tech the lab the bobs gone
01:02:40but but okay so how do I make how do I make things big again because I I have to
01:02:50make things big again well after 30 days you can't
01:02:58can he actually do this yes he can it says it right here
01:03:12I'm not even going to ask about the cat
01:03:33I'm not even going to ask about the cat
01:03:36I got you something for Christmas
01:03:39oh I I didn't get you anything
01:03:43oh that's okay
01:03:45I didn't want you
01:03:48like what Shakespeare used to write with
01:03:50you know I like Shakespeare
01:03:52oh everybody knows you like Shakespeare
01:03:54bars guard
01:03:55well you talk about it a lot
01:03:58um
01:04:00you seem a little bit down
01:04:01No, I'm, um, just tired, you know.
01:04:05I was waiting up last night for someone,
01:04:09someone special, you know, and it's just, you know.
01:04:14Oh, Merry, Merry Christmas, Richard.
01:04:16Yeah, thank you, Janet.
01:04:17This is a very thoughtful gift, so, thank you.
01:04:25Thy returneth to thine grind.
01:04:35Okay.
01:04:37Buddy.
01:04:39Thank you for moving her.
01:04:48Oh.
01:04:51Right, okay.
01:04:55Oh, that's good.
01:04:57Okay.
01:05:01Oh, come on.
01:05:07Okay.
01:05:09Oh, my God.
01:05:14Oh, there we go.
01:05:17Guide.
01:05:22Oh, a classic.
01:05:25Come on!
01:05:29Volume.
01:05:31Volume.
01:05:32We're never turning this off.
01:05:35Okay, Sax.
01:05:37So.
01:05:40We've got popcorn.
01:05:42But no candy.
01:05:46Oh, less.
01:05:49That's just for me.
01:05:59Richard, I need everyone at the top of their game today.
01:06:01It's a big day.
01:06:02It could be the day.
01:06:03It needs to be the day.
01:06:04Or two.
01:06:06At the most.
01:06:11Here are my thoughts.
01:06:15Adjust the last line on the Maxwell stress tensor to B sub J.
01:06:19Minus one half times the quantity of epsilon naught.
01:06:23Times E squared plus B squared over mu naught.
01:06:27Thoughts complete.
01:06:28Bob.
01:06:29Implement his thoughts.
01:06:36So.
01:06:37B sub J minus one half times the quantity of epsilon naught times E squared plus B squared over mu
01:06:44naught.
01:06:45Complete.
01:06:47Carl, implement his thoughts.
01:07:28Let's make history.
01:08:14Let's make history.
01:08:16A great attempt in the name of science.
01:08:19Richard?
01:08:20Bob the explainer?
01:08:23Nominal success.
01:08:24Subject expanded to regular size for 2.1 seconds.
01:08:28Same as previous attempt.
01:08:30Result, molecular disequilibrium.
01:08:33Eraser Bob, see medic.
01:08:34Bring in Fred.
01:08:35Clean up an aisle everywhere.
01:08:38Richard?
01:08:39Waiting on analysis to proceed.
01:08:41We'll adjust based on your thoughts.
01:08:43Go again.
01:08:45No, you won't.
01:08:46If this is your definition of close, we have a big problem.
01:08:50You working in a bubble with your staff and your secrets ends today.
01:08:54Moving forward, everything that happens in this lab will be authorized by me.
01:08:59No.
01:09:00No, no, no, no.
01:09:02Um, this is not how we work here.
01:09:05We are making history.
01:09:06Okay?
01:09:07That corn was regular size.
01:09:10It's incredible.
01:09:11As a scientist, how can you not see that?
01:09:13Reports, equipment, results, any spending whatsoever, everything you use must be logged up to and
01:09:19including packets of instant oatmeal in the break room.
01:09:21Can I explain my fiber deficiencies?
01:09:24Okay, everybody, everybody.
01:09:25This is Virginia.
01:09:26Vivian.
01:09:27Vivian.
01:09:27Vivian.
01:09:27I don't know her last name, but she's new here, and she doesn't know how things work.
01:09:31And, Bob, you don't need to worry about your oatmeal.
01:09:33Okay?
01:09:33Can we just talk about this?
01:09:36Martin, you know exactly how much money this science circus is hemorrhaging.
01:09:40I don't care about the money.
01:09:41Of course you don't.
01:09:42You spent seven years and several hundred thousand dollars designing your logo.
01:09:48I had to open the books.
01:09:49Well, it had to be perfect.
01:09:51What?
01:09:52Irresponsible and deeply sad.
01:09:54Dr. Littlejohn, it's no longer your money.
01:09:56It's Hilton Smith's money.
01:09:57This is his lab now, and I run Hilton's lab.
01:10:00Ergo, I run this lab.
01:10:02This is unacceptable.
01:10:03And it's ridiculous.
01:10:05And do something.
01:10:08Okay.
01:10:08No we.
01:10:09No we.
01:10:10Just me.
01:10:10I want to talk to Hilton right now.
01:10:13Well, good luck reaching him.
01:10:15He's spending the holidays piloting an experimental submersible off the coast of Guam.
01:10:20Guam?
01:10:21Guam?
01:10:22What?
01:10:23Shut it down.
01:10:24We'll try again tomorrow.
01:10:26Together.
01:10:27These ladders are an OSHA violation.
01:10:30You're an OSHA violation!
01:10:33Dear hairy Jesus!
01:10:35I hope Hilton gets crushed into ketchup by 400 atmospheres of pressure!
01:10:4029 days.
01:10:41Not helpful.
01:10:42Not the point!
01:10:51What have I done?
01:10:59Midnight with the stars and you.
01:11:06Midnight and a rendezvous.
01:11:11Your eyes held a message tender.
01:11:17Say hi, surrender.
01:11:21All my life.
01:11:22No.
01:11:22It's my phone.
01:11:25My phone!
01:11:26Oh!
01:11:27Oh!
01:11:30Come here, come here, come here!
01:11:32What?
01:11:44No!
01:11:46No!
01:11:49No!
01:11:53No!
01:12:04Fuck, did you just say something?
01:12:12Am I losing my mind?
01:12:19I can see me in you.
01:12:25Do you know?
01:12:27What?
01:12:28Ah, what is that?
01:12:30Help, help.
01:12:32Oh, fuck.
01:12:37I've got to get out of here.
01:12:44Ow, fuck.
01:12:52Jesus.
01:12:54God damn it, let's...
01:12:58For fuck's sake.
01:13:03God dang it.
01:13:05Fuck.
01:13:08Fuck.
01:13:12Ah!
01:13:18Ah!
01:13:19Ah!
01:13:20Ah!
01:13:28Ah!
01:13:30Ah!
01:13:34Ah!
01:13:36Ah!
01:13:37Ahh!
01:13:38Ah!
01:13:39Ah!
01:13:43Oh!
01:13:44Ah!
01:13:45Ah!
01:14:09Help!
01:14:18What the...
01:14:19Oh, oh.
01:14:22Oh, God. Oh, God.
01:14:24Oh, oh.
01:14:33Cookie!
01:14:34Come on!
01:14:35I'll save you!
01:14:40Bye.
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