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00:00:27Satsang with Mooji
00:00:40ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:13ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:33In the year 50 BC, all Gaul, now known as France,
00:01:38was covered with impenetrable forests
00:01:39where calm, peace and quiet reigns supreme.
00:01:43Only the birds...
00:01:44Hey, wait a moment.
00:01:46Wait a moment.
00:01:48I said, in the year 50 BC.
00:01:52Right, thank you.
00:01:53In the year 50 BC, all Gaul was covered with impenetrable forests
00:01:57where calm, peace and quiet reigns supreme.
00:02:02Julius Caesar, after much fierce fighting,
00:02:04had at last succeeded in conquering Gaul,
00:02:07intending to set the seal of Roman civilisation on this,
00:02:09his latest, greatest conquest.
00:02:13ΒΆΒΆ
00:02:28Yes, all Gaul, now known as France, was occupied by the Romans.
00:02:34Well, no, not quite.
00:02:36For somewhere in Amorica,
00:02:38a little village was still holding out against the invaders.
00:02:40A little village surrounded by Roman legions.
00:02:45The brave people of this village.
00:02:48But do I really need to introduce them?
00:02:51Hands up, anyone in the house who hasn't met them yet.
00:02:54Oh, I see.
00:02:56All right.
00:02:58I'll make the introductions.
00:03:01This big hut is the home of the undisputed chief of the village,
00:03:04the formidable vital statistics.
00:03:09Darling, please, darling, it's me ought to be up on that shield.
00:03:14I'm the chief, after all.
00:03:16I've got to go out shopping.
00:03:17You can have the shield back later.
00:03:19And meanwhile, you can tidy the place up a bit.
00:03:21It's getting more like a wild boar, sty.
00:03:23Come on, you two.
00:03:30And this is Cacophonix, the village bard.
00:03:33People don't always appreciate his talents.
00:03:35Sometimes express their feelings in a tactful, delicate way.
00:03:41Ah.
00:03:56Ah, here comes Dogmatix.
00:03:58The village mascot and a great friend of Obelix, the Menhir Delivery Man.
00:04:04Fetch it, Dogmatix.
00:04:06Dogmatix, doggy-woggy.
00:04:08I'm teaching him to retrieve many ears, Asterix.
00:04:11He could be a big help in my work.
00:04:13You know, Obelix, it isn't that I don't think that dog's very intelligent,
00:04:16but I do sometimes wonder if he isn't rather small to carry many ears.
00:04:20The voice of reason you have just heard belongs to the renowned Asterix,
00:04:24the best warrior in the village, the famous Asterix,
00:04:27whose adventures, on sale in all the best bookshops,
00:04:30have been translated into every language.
00:04:33Salute.
00:04:34Guten Tag.
00:04:36Hello.
00:04:38Hi.
00:04:39Oni chava.
00:04:40Love, che.
00:04:42Copa lacco.
00:04:43Parmini.
00:04:44Fokadoododo.
00:04:47But you may well ask,
00:04:48how did this little village with its handful of warriors
00:04:50manage to keep holding out against the all-powerful Roman invaders?
00:04:54Well, that was thanks to the magic potion
00:04:56brewed up by the druid Gettafix,
00:04:58which gave superhuman strength to those who were lucky enough to get it.
00:05:12Get a little bit of deceitful baby.
00:05:15I think it wasn't as easy as you guys,
00:05:16I looked at the parrot.
00:05:16I saw the background.
00:05:16or new GoPro hooves in the 很村кой story,
00:05:18Or nicknamed.
00:05:44Oh, no, Abelix, no.
00:05:47Oh, the potion has had a permanent effect on you.
00:05:52You know you fell into the cauldron when you were a baby.
00:05:56Fell into the cauldron when you were a baby?
00:06:02Oh, some Romans!
00:06:07Centurion, what's the good of having another go?
00:06:10You know what those goals will do to us?
00:06:12That lot, they're simply not human.
00:06:14Maybe, but those are Caesar's orders.
00:06:18Who knows?
00:06:19Perhaps it will be different this time.
00:06:21We'll take it!
00:06:28Come on!
00:06:30Come on!
00:06:32Come on!
00:07:03Join the army, they said.
00:07:05It's a real man's life, they said.
00:07:07A real man's life, huh?
00:07:10It didn't turn out so very different from usual, eh, Centurion?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14No, not very.
00:07:15I know rather a good joke.
00:07:18Post Equitem Sedet Atracura.
00:07:21That's right.
00:07:22These Gauls will make Latin a dead language.
00:07:25If Julius Caesar would insist on fighting them.
00:07:27Those Gauls simply aren't human, Centurion.
00:07:30They're just not human.
00:07:32You're right.
00:07:33They're not human.
00:07:35Ornery mortals couldn't resist the might of the Roman army.
00:07:38Told you so.
00:07:39They must be gods.
00:07:40We haven't a hope of defeating the gods.
00:07:43I'm going to Rome to tell Caesar.
00:07:45The gods are against us.
00:07:48They're gods?
00:07:49You say these crazy Gaulish villagers are gods?
00:07:53That's a laugh.
00:07:55But Caesar, we do have to admit that these Gaulish villagers can keep your armies at bay.
00:08:02In my opinion, the time has come for us to adopt a realistic approach to the situation.
00:08:06If the gods are against us, we're done for.
00:08:08While seeking to follow a constructive line, I hope nonetheless to be quite objective.
00:08:14And I have therefore come to the following conclusion.
00:08:18It's no good trying to fight gods.
00:08:20Let us suppose to look on the bright side that we've only got to deal with demigods.
00:08:24Well, even so, it's an extremely unpleasant predicament.
00:08:27Huh.
00:08:28To take an example, Hercules.
00:08:31Anyone willing to confront Hercules?
00:08:33Hercules?
00:08:34Gods or demigods?
00:08:36I, Caesar, will show you, you cowardly old counsellors, that those halfwits are only mortal.
00:08:42Very mortal.
00:08:43Brutus, stop playing about with that knife.
00:08:45You'll end up hurting somebody.
00:08:47But how are you going to show us that those Gauls aren't really gods after all, O Caesar?
00:08:52Well, first I'll visit them myself.
00:08:54And I shall put them to certain tests which only the gods could perform.
00:08:57Brutus!
00:08:57And if they really are gods, then I shall give in.
00:09:02But if they are just men, ordinary human beings, they'll have to face the anger of Caesar!
00:09:09And by Jupiter, I can tell you, they'll finish up inside the lions in the circus!
00:09:18Get a chariot and an escort ready!
00:09:33At the guy at the bell, darling.
00:09:35Will you go and see who's there?
00:09:37Julius Caesar's outside, wants to see you.
00:09:40Julius Caesar?
00:09:41The Julius Caesar?
00:09:43Himself!
00:09:44Right!
00:09:45A towel for me feet!
00:09:47Fetch me shoes!
00:09:48Let everyone know, Asterix, where are those shield bearers got to?
00:09:52Yes!
00:09:53Yes, I'm coming!
00:09:54Leave them to me!
00:09:56Leave them to me!
00:09:57Go down, Obelix!
00:09:58Let the chief have a word!
00:10:06Harvey!
00:10:07Village chieftain?
00:10:08Aye, Caesar!
00:10:09What are you doing here?
00:10:11I have come to make a suggestion.
00:10:14Your defiance of me is bad for my reputation.
00:10:17In Rome, they're beginning to laugh at me.
00:10:20They're saying a handful of half-wits could hold the Roman army at bay!
00:10:24What's your language?
00:10:25Which are my two daughters?
00:10:27But some people say you must be gods.
00:10:29Us gods?
00:10:30Us gods?
00:10:32Us gods?
00:10:32Yes, gods.
00:10:34And if that is so, then I will admit defeat.
00:10:38But if you are only men, then you will have to give in to my power and accept our laws.
00:10:45And just how are me and my friends supposed to prove whether or not we'll be really gods?
00:10:50I wonder if you've heard of Hercules.
00:10:53Oh, Hercules the grocer?
00:10:54No, no.
00:10:57The god Hercules.
00:10:59He performed twelve difficult tasks which got him admitted to Olympus.
00:11:03Since the god saw that he must be one of them.
00:11:06These twelve tasks, what were they?
00:11:09He strangled the Nemean lion, killed the Lernian hydra, caught the Aramanthian boar alive, hunted down the stag with brazen
00:11:17feet, shot the Stymphalian birds with his bow and arrows, tamed the bull on the island of Crete, killed Diomedes,
00:11:24conquered the Amazons, cleansed the Aegean stables in a day, killed Gerionese, stole the golden apples of the Hesperides and
00:11:32set Theseus free from Hades.
00:11:35And you want us to do all these daft things just to show whether or not we're gods?
00:11:40No, not exactly.
00:11:41That's all a bit out of date now.
00:11:43With my counsellor's help, I've thought up a new set of tasks for you.
00:11:46Only gods could hope to perform all these new tasks.
00:11:49If you succeed, I will own myself fairly beaten.
00:11:52But if you fail in even one, then you will have to give in.
00:11:57It's a deal?
00:11:58You bet your life it's a deal.
00:12:02Right.
00:12:04Your tasks will take you to Rome.
00:12:06Caius Tidlas!
00:12:08Caius Tidlas will act as your guide all the way and will see that the tasks are fairly performed.
00:12:12He's a most trustworthy man and very honest.
00:12:16So, if you should succeed, Rome will surrender.
00:12:21If you fail in a single task, then you will all become slaves of Rome.
00:12:26Okay, we understand.
00:12:28Have it!
00:12:29Good luck!
00:12:40Oh, you poor fools.
00:12:42You really think Caesar would surrender and let you become masters of Rome?
00:12:46Come to think of it.
00:12:48Perhaps we got a bit carried away.
00:12:51Your magic potion will help us out.
00:12:53Oh, Druid?
00:12:53Sure.
00:12:54We'll have lots of fun, my two judges.
00:12:59Lots of fun.
00:13:01Well, Asterix is the cleverest man among us and Obelix is the strongest.
00:13:05So you two must be the only ones likely to succeed.
00:13:08May Tutatis hear you.
00:13:12Here is a gourd full of magic potion, Asterix.
00:13:15Mind you, use it well.
00:13:16You're going to need it.
00:13:18Oh, yes.
00:13:18You're going to need it.
00:13:20Well, then, are we off?
00:13:22We're off!
00:13:31It's funny.
00:13:31I wonder why our bard hasn't shown up to sing us a farewell song.
00:13:41Right.
00:13:42Now, for the first task, follow me, will you please?
00:13:53This is Asbestos, just back from Marathon.
00:13:57He was champion runner at the Olympic Games.
00:13:59He can run faster than a horse, faster than the storm wind when it howls through the trees.
00:14:04One of you will have to beat him in a race.
00:14:06You do it, Asterix.
00:14:08You're a lot faster than me.
00:14:10You're faster than a horse wind howling through the trees.
00:14:13All right.
00:14:14We'll be waiting for you the other side of the forest at the finishing line.
00:14:18Get on your marks and start when all the sand has run out of the hourglass.
00:14:30Well, fancy that.
00:14:31You're a real Olympic champion.
00:14:33That's very interesting.
00:14:35You know, we have athletics in the village, too.
00:14:37But, obviously, as we all get some of the magic potion, it's not very exciting.
00:14:42Are you listening to me?
00:14:44Right.
00:14:44I was saying it's not very interesting because we all get there at once and we have to draw
00:14:48lots for the winner.
00:14:48You notice that I don't need to drink any magic potion before a race because I've always
00:14:52been a very fast runner.
00:14:54I say, you're not very chatty, are you?
00:15:02Hey!
00:15:03Wait for me!
00:15:07Hmm.
00:15:08I think I'd better take a little magic potion after all.
00:15:11The village's future is at stake.
00:15:24Hello there.
00:15:25Not a bad start.
00:15:26Not bad at all.
00:15:27You nearly took me by surprise.
00:15:38I got held up a bit back there in the forest because I stopped to pick some mushrooms.
00:15:41See?
00:15:42I like picking flowers, too.
00:15:52Look, aren't they beautiful?
00:16:07Hey!
00:16:07If you like apples, I know a place over there where there's a good tree.
00:16:33Funny, the race has improved its profile.
00:16:37Well, it seems to be the first of your tasks performed quite successfully, and so now for
00:16:43the next one.
00:16:51Where sees the Persian, the most amazing javelin thrower the world has ever seen?
00:17:00His javelin will cross the seas and oceans.
00:17:03This is your second task, throw the javelin further than versies.
00:17:41War!
00:17:42This means war!
00:17:44No, this time, Master Ricks, let me...
00:17:46All right, but throw it well, as far as you can.
00:17:49Just you watch!
00:18:13Second task performed, and now for the next one.
00:18:17You're going to face Cylindric the German.
00:18:21No wrestler or gladiator has ever yet beaten him.
00:18:38Cylindric the German will come in that way.
00:18:41You must wait for him here.
00:18:42Look at the size of those gates!
00:18:43He must be big, Cylindric the German.
00:18:46That's how I like him, big and strong.
00:19:09That's him, Cylindric the German.
00:19:12Why, he isn't big at all.
00:19:14Oh, I like him big.
00:19:17Hey, suppose we gave him some magic potion.
00:19:22Good day!
00:19:23Which of you two gentlemen is first?
00:19:25Or both of you at once, maybe, ja?
00:19:27I'll go first, and finish him off at once, and then we go on to the next task.
00:19:31All right, but watch out.
00:19:32There must be a catch.
00:19:34He's got some funny clothes on.
00:19:35Ah, the robe doesn't make the droid.
00:19:38So, the fat gentleman first, ja?
00:19:40I am not fat.
00:19:42Well, well, good.
00:19:43The fat one first.
00:19:44Listen, you.
00:20:13I say, what a splendid way to fight.
00:20:16I've never seen anything like it.
00:20:18Ach, ja!
00:20:19I have it learnt when on my travels.
00:20:21Long, long travels far away.
00:20:23You like to have a go, ja?
00:20:24Ja, er, yes, sorry.
00:20:26It's easy.
00:20:27You have only to use the man's own strength to get him down.
00:20:30The stronger he is, the better for you.
00:20:36Easy, easy.
00:20:37You just say that because you're strong.
00:20:39Nein, nein.
00:20:40Word of honour.
00:20:41Try yourself.
00:20:42Here, take my hand.
00:20:44Mit the foot right here on the stomach.
00:20:47Then give a hip backwards.
00:20:49Ja, ja, good.
00:20:50Well done.
00:20:50Ja, ja.
00:20:52Harder, harder.
00:20:53Ja, ja.
00:20:54Like this.
00:20:55Ja, ja.
00:20:56Sehr gut.
00:20:57Ganz gut, you get the idea.
00:20:59Harder, faster.
00:21:00Ja, ja.
00:21:01Well done.
00:21:02Good, schΓΆn.
00:21:03Ja, ja, ja, ja.
00:21:05That's it.
00:21:06Was I really good?
00:21:07Sehr gut, but still a little bit soft, nein?
00:21:11Good.
00:21:11The next thing when you have got me on the ground, you take advantage that I am giddy.
00:21:16And you jump on me, ja?
00:21:19Like that?
00:21:19Good.
00:21:20SchΓΆn.
00:21:21You take hold my arm like this.
00:21:23And then you pull.
00:21:24You tie the knot.
00:21:26That's good.
00:21:27And now the other arm.
00:21:30Yeah, excellent.
00:21:31And what do you think comes next?
00:21:34The leg.
00:21:36Right leg.
00:21:37Wunderbar.
00:21:38Left leg.
00:21:40Fantastic.
00:21:41And so you can see, now I can't move at all.
00:21:44Why, you have...
00:21:46You have...
00:21:47You have...
00:21:48You have beaten me, mein Herr.
00:21:51Hmm.
00:21:53They've got through the first few tasks, all right.
00:21:56Not bad, but it proves nothing.
00:21:58Rome is far from Gourlish yet.
00:22:02They've not had much to cope with so far.
00:22:05Now, however, the next task, they will have to face the priestesses of the Isle of Pleasure.
00:22:25I never knew there was a lake here.
00:22:27Well, there is and you have to get across it.
00:22:30That's your next task.
00:22:32I shall go and wait on the other side.
00:22:34Of course, it's inconceivable you should succeed.
00:22:38There's a boat over there.
00:22:40Bonfoyant.
00:23:01I call this test a piece of cake.
00:23:03We'll reach the other side in no time.
00:23:06We'd better be careful, though.
00:23:07You never can tell.
00:23:09Hmm, the lake's calm.
00:23:10This boat doesn't seem to leak.
00:23:52Oh!
00:23:54They seem better than cacophonics.
00:23:57Welcome to the Isle of Pleasure.
00:24:01We were expecting you.
00:24:03This way.
00:24:22Nice little place you've got.
00:24:24But who are you, miss?
00:24:26Never mind who we are.
00:24:28Bold warrior.
00:24:30Give yourself up to pleasure.
00:24:37This way, we're going to show you all over our island.
00:24:41Let's go.
00:24:43Let's go!
00:24:43Let's go!
00:25:00Let's go!
00:25:01Let's go!
00:25:04Oh, my God.
00:25:40Oh, my God.
00:26:09Oh, my God.
00:26:53Oh, my God.
00:27:28Oh, my God.
00:27:29Oh, my God.
00:27:33Oh, my God.
00:27:40Oh, my God.
00:27:46Oh, my God.
00:28:20Oh, my God.
00:28:27Oh, my God.
00:28:54Oh, my God.
00:29:25Oh, my God.
00:29:38Oh, my God.
00:29:54Oh, my God.
00:30:12Oh, my God.
00:30:34Oh, my God.
00:30:42Oh, my God.
00:30:43Oh, my God.
00:30:44Oh, my God.
00:30:47Oh, my God.
00:31:15Oh, my God.
00:31:20Oh, my God.
00:31:23Oh, my God.
00:31:47Oh, my God.
00:31:53Oh, my God.
00:31:54Oh, my God.
00:31:56Oh, my God.
00:31:58Oh, my God.
00:32:02Oh, my God.
00:32:05Oh, my God.
00:32:06Oh, my God.
00:32:12Oh
00:32:29He did make me hungry going on about wild ball
00:32:35What's more each lunch time well, that's lucky
00:32:39Because your next task will be to eat every morsel of the meal prepared for you by mannequin fix the
00:32:46great chef of the titans
00:32:48No mortal man has ever got through one of his enormous meals, but you will have to eat it all
00:32:54down to the last crumb
00:32:55on that 30
00:32:57Ah, an interesting kind of task at last. It's my turn now, right? No doubt about that
00:33:10Ah
00:33:10You are expected monsieur. Alli, sit down and I will bring in the banquet right away
00:33:23Oh, this I have invented myself. He's shaped like wood chips, but raw in the ground. I have not found
00:33:31the right man
00:33:36The kiss
00:33:40Oh
00:33:41This is good because they are vets
00:33:44The nice flock of matons
00:33:46Fit for the hungry wolf
00:33:50The titanic omelette
00:33:54Eight dozen eggs
00:33:58The old school of fish
00:34:02They teach you what is like to eat well
00:34:06The ox
00:34:08The ox
00:34:09You taste him
00:34:09He will melt in the mouth
00:34:13The cow
00:34:14He's maybe less tasty
00:34:17But
00:34:18He's much more delicate
00:34:22He will
00:34:23He will
00:34:28Right
00:34:29He will
00:34:49Because to separate the family
00:34:57And before one starts on the next course
00:34:59The elephant
00:35:00With olives
00:35:08Yes
00:35:08Did he eat everything?
00:35:10Yes! Yes! He has eaten everything! I have nothing left in my kitchen! All gone!
00:35:16I will have to shut up shop
00:35:23Did anyone see which way the chef went? He walked out, but that only had my starters
00:35:40What on earth's all this?
00:35:49What's up with you by Beranos dressing in that extremely silly way?
00:35:53I don't think it's silly
00:35:54I've got to get ready to be ruler of Rome, haven't I?
00:35:57Ruler of Rome, eh?
00:35:59Well, honestly
00:36:00You see, when the lads have performed all their tasks successfully
00:36:04We shall all be setting off for Rome
00:36:06For Rome?
00:36:07You really think Rome will ever be gallish?
00:36:11I think you're counting your wild boar piglets before they're hatched
00:36:16You think so?
00:36:18Yes! Yes! Why don't you all go home?
00:36:21That's right! Run along, will you?
00:36:24Leave us alone!
00:36:29You...
00:36:31You don't think they'll win?
00:36:33Caesar is mighty
00:36:34He has made a pact with the powers of darkness
00:36:37And only the gods know
00:36:39What dreadful dangers, asterisks and obelisks
00:36:42May still have to face
00:37:03And now you must go inside the cave of the beast
00:37:06The cave of the beast? Hmm
00:37:08And what is this beast like?
00:37:10I've no idea no one has ever come out alive
00:37:14Well, nice to have known you
00:37:16Coming Obelix?
00:37:17Why not? The place looks quite interesting
00:37:34How many then?
00:37:35Eight, oh, two
00:37:45It is still a book
00:37:46Yeah, I mean we want to get to the cave of this
00:37:46Who is the captain of the mountain
00:37:53What do you think he wants to go inside the cave?
00:37:55Oh my god
00:37:57Is that a cave of the beast?
00:37:59We're going to get to the cave of the beast
00:37:59We have to go inside the cave
00:37:59You'll get to the cave of the sword
00:38:01The cave of the knight
00:38:06Who's the cave in the cave
00:38:18Watch out there! Get down!
00:38:27Hey, Asterix.
00:38:27Yes, I know. We shall have rain when the birds fly low.
00:38:30Not that it matters. We can keep nice and dry inside this cave.
00:38:36Let's go.
00:39:03Fifteen all.
00:39:21Excuse me, please, sir. Are we right for the beast?
00:39:24Look, you might at least answer when I ask a question.
00:39:27People have no manners at all these days.
00:39:30Beastly, aren't they?
00:39:31If they think they can frighten us, they're wrong.
00:39:33Because everyone knows that we fear only one thing, which is the sky falling on our heads.
00:39:39Watch out!
00:39:47What might that be?
00:39:49I've no idea, but I'm really getting rather fed up.
00:39:51We seem to have been in this cave quite some time.
00:39:53Come to think of it, what is the time?
00:39:55It's about 12 noon.
00:39:57Don't say you're hungry again already.
00:39:58Why shouldn't I be hungry? I'm always hungry at 12 noon.
00:40:02I could eat anything at all, you hear me? Absolutely anything.
00:40:08Shut up, listen.
00:40:10The beast.
00:40:35I hope you'll forgive my curiosity.
00:40:39But the beast, what was it like, actually?
00:40:43Very tasty.
00:40:45Waiter, I'd like a drink.
00:40:47A drink, sir.
00:40:47Right away.
00:41:10Those people seem very odd, by the Tartus.
00:41:12They've all been to the place that sends you mad.
00:41:15The place that sends you mad?
00:41:17Yes. And you'll have to go in there as well. That's your next task.
00:41:22What do we have to do in this place that sends you mad?
00:41:24Oh, nothing much.
00:41:26You have to obtain a certain permit, which will then allow you to go on to the next task.
00:41:32I see. Nothing but a simple administrative formality.
00:41:36That's right. A formality. A simple formality.
00:41:40You merely have to ask for permit number 838.
00:41:45All right. Obelix.
00:42:07What is it?
00:42:08We want a copy of permit number 838.
00:42:11Want to register a galley? No, we've sent it to the wrong place.
00:42:14You need to ask at the harbormaster's office down at the port.
00:42:17What? No, we don't want to register a galley.
00:42:20We want a copy of permit number 838.
00:42:23The port. You'll find it at the other end of town.
00:42:25It's down by the seaside.
00:42:26We don't want to go to the port.
00:42:28We want a copy of permit number 838.
00:42:32Eh?
00:42:33Permit number 838.
00:42:36Yeah, there's no need to shout.
00:42:38What manners?
00:42:40Where do you think you are by Jupiter?
00:42:41Apply to window number 1.
00:42:43Left-hand corridor.
00:42:44Last door on the right.
00:42:45Got it?
00:42:51Last door on the right?
00:42:53Last door on the right?
00:42:56There is no door on the right.
00:42:59Eh, he must have got it wrong.
00:43:01Let's try the door opposite.
00:43:11And who gave you permission to come into my office?
00:43:14Oh, eh, we're looking for window 1.
00:43:16Consult the floor plan on the 6th floor.
00:43:18And close the door!
00:43:19For impertinence.
00:43:22Now, where were we, Miss Arnica?
00:43:37These stairs are pretty steep.
00:43:40Carry on.
00:43:57This one?
00:43:58No, this is the 4th floor.
00:44:00We want the 6th.
00:44:15Ah, this is the plan.
00:44:17Can't make it out at all.
00:44:19Oh, no, here it is.
00:44:20Window number 1 is on the ground floor.
00:44:22First corridor on the right.
00:44:46What is your business?
00:44:47We just want a copy of permit number A38.
00:44:50You have been misdirected.
00:44:51You have to apply to window number 2.
00:44:53Next door to this one?
00:44:54No, that one is window 8.
00:44:56I can't remember where they put number 2.
00:44:57Ask them at the desk.
00:44:58But, but...
00:45:02Where's window 2?
00:45:04I've already told you once the port is down by the seaside.
00:45:07But I don't want the port.
00:45:09I want...
00:45:10Now, gentlemen, do come down.
00:45:11Some of us are trying to work.
00:45:13And what is the problem, may I ask?
00:45:15I've no idea, Mr. Prefect, sir.
00:45:18They keep jabbering a lot of nonsense.
00:45:20We, uh, we're looking for window, uh, 2.
00:45:24Window 2.
00:45:26Where exactly did they put that one?
00:45:29Last time anyone saw it, it was somewhere on the third floor.
00:45:34Corridor B, door 6, Mr. Prefect, sir.
00:45:37Well, then, there you are, gentlemen.
00:45:39There was nothing to get so worked up about.
00:45:42We seem to be getting somewhere now.
00:45:45Hmm.
00:45:46I'm not all that confident.
00:45:48So then she bought some material from a Phoenician trader
00:45:51to redecorate her cubiculum.
00:45:52Put hangings over Marble, how odd?
00:45:54Oh, well, you know her.
00:45:55The kind who's always got to show off.
00:45:57And mind you, she can't even afford to keep a slave or so.
00:46:00Uh, miss...
00:46:00She sold off her Iberian,
00:46:01claiming that she preferred to do her housework herself.
00:46:03But I know that her husband's financial situation...
00:46:06Excuse me?
00:46:07Oh, can't you see I'm busy?
00:46:08Where was I?
00:46:09The financial situation.
00:46:10Oh, yes.
00:46:11Poor old Claudius, you know.
00:46:12He worked up a nice little business building viaducts.
00:46:15Well, dear, the last...
00:46:16Excuse me, miss!
00:46:17By Jupiter, how rude people are these days.
00:46:19What do you want?
00:46:20Permit A38.
00:46:21Have you filled in the blue form?
00:46:22The blue form?
00:46:23No.
00:46:23Then how do you think you're going to get permit A38?
00:46:26Where can I get a hold of this blue form?
00:46:27Window 1.
00:46:28I've been there.
00:46:30That's right, dear.
00:46:31That viaduct at the first breath of wind, crash.
00:46:33Did it collapse?
00:46:34Nothing left but some ruins.
00:46:36Still, they look picturesque in the country.
00:46:40She's at lunch.
00:46:41But you could apply to window 35.
00:46:43Ask them down at the desk.
00:46:45You're at the party beginning to get me down!
00:46:51Fill in this form and then you'll be able to get the pink form.
00:46:54What pink form?
00:46:55The one you need in order to get permit A38, window 12, the 2nd floor, staircase B, corridor J.
00:47:05You need the yellow form, window 7 on the 5th floor, staircase K, corridor W.
00:47:09Get the green form, window 14 on the 1st floor, staircase F, corridor T.
00:47:13Get moon form, window 56 on the 6th floor, staircase P, corridor T.
00:47:17Get the yellow form, window 46 on the 5th floor, staircase P, corridor T.
00:47:21I don't know what to do with the big form...
00:47:24This is easy.
00:47:30Jumping!
00:47:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:47:36Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:47:38Huh?
00:47:39Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:47:41Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:47:44Ah!
00:47:56Calm down, Obelix. Calm down.
00:47:59There, there. Calm down.
00:48:01We shall never get out of here, Asterix.
00:48:04The magic potion won't be any help to us here.
00:48:06We'll go mad and we'll be Julius Caesar's slaves.
00:48:10Not if I know it.
00:48:11Now, it's true the magic potion's not any good in here,
00:48:15but I know what.
00:48:16We shall have to fight them with their own weapons.
00:48:18You watch this.
00:48:24Is this where I get permit number A-39?
00:48:27Don't you mean A-38? No, for permit A-38...
00:48:30No, no, no. What I want is permit number A-39
00:48:33as stipulated in the new circular B-65.
00:48:36In the new circular B-65?
00:48:39Wait here.
00:48:40Here.
00:48:41Here. Ever heard of circular B-65?
00:48:43Hmm?
00:48:44Circular B-65?
00:48:45The one about permit A-39?
00:48:48Not me.
00:48:48We shall have to find out from the head of filing systems of material not yet coordinated.
00:48:52Is he on the fifth floor, staircase Z, corridor B now?
00:48:55No.
00:48:56His office has moved to the second floor.
00:48:58Staircase H, corridor M.
00:49:00Shall we go?
00:49:00Yes, come on.
00:49:05Circular B-65.
00:49:07About permit A-39?
00:49:09No.
00:49:09The message is a new provisional material centre must have forgotten to let us know.
00:49:13They're on ground floor, staircase 2, corridor U.
00:49:19The what?
00:49:19A new circular and I haven't even been told.
00:49:21Now I'll see the assistant head of non-transmitted material.
00:49:23Where is he?
00:49:24Oh, go and ask down at the desk.
00:49:26Carry on with our famous idea.
00:49:48Why not please an abhor.
00:49:51I've got nothing with her as a boy.
00:49:56I've got nothing with her as a boy.
00:50:18Quiet, quiet!
00:50:21Please, sir.
00:50:23I'm very busy just now.
00:50:25What are you after?
00:50:27Permit number A-38.
00:50:30All right.
00:50:31Then kindly leave.
00:50:32Some people here are trying to work.
00:51:07Come on!
00:51:10No!
00:51:11No!
00:51:13No!
00:51:41Yes, Caesar, they've performed them all.
00:51:44Even that last task, Hercules himself would have failed there.
00:51:49I must admit they're remarkable, but they haven't yet got to Rome.
00:51:53I have several special treats in store for them.
00:51:56There's no need to worry.
00:51:58By Mercury, we shan't be seeing a little Gaulish village
00:52:01become the capital of the Roman world.
00:52:05We can proceed with the rehearsal now.
00:52:07Well, I guess so, Caesar.
00:52:10The rehearsal's just about over.
00:52:25Let's see what's next on the list.
00:52:28Oh, yes.
00:52:29You have to cross this canyon,
00:52:31walking across that invisible thread which you do not see there.
00:52:35Walk along that invisible thread?
00:52:37Why don't we cross down below?
00:52:39I can see a small river.
00:52:40The water looks calm.
00:52:42Yes, but in fact that little river is full of crocodiles.
00:52:46Lots of very sacred crocodiles.
00:52:49They were a present given to Caesar by the Egyptian head of state,
00:52:53Queen Cleopatra.
00:52:56They're very savage creatures and very rapacious.
00:52:59Yeah, I don't like crocodiles.
00:53:03I tried them once.
00:53:04They were stringy.
00:53:06Come on, Asterix.
00:53:07Come on, Asterix.
00:53:09Come on, Asterix.
00:53:25Come on, Asterix.
00:53:27Come on, Asterix.
00:53:28Come on, Asterix.
00:53:28Come on, Asterix.
00:53:28Come on, Asterix.
00:53:28Come on, Asterix.
00:53:29Come on, Asterix.
00:53:32Come on, Asterix.
00:53:33Come on, Asterix.
00:53:38Oh, all right. I suppose we shall have to.
00:53:42You coming?
00:53:43You start. I'll follow.
00:53:48Here we go!
00:54:26Here we go.
00:54:30Daddy, daddy.
00:54:44your next task is to make the ascent of this mountain at the top you must look for the old
00:54:51man of the mountains at least it'll make a change from canyons and what do we have to do with
00:54:57this
00:54:57old man of the mountains the old man of the mountains will ask a difficult riddle you will
00:55:03have to answer correctly if you get it wrong the results will be quite fatal I mean as far as
00:55:10you're concerned of course why can't this old man come down here to ask his riddle come on don't be
00:55:16a
00:55:16lazy bones here goes
00:55:36so
00:55:40so
00:55:47so
00:56:00so
00:56:04so
00:56:05so
00:56:07so
00:56:11so
00:56:20so
00:56:44there must be a marvelous view from up here
00:56:53hey i've run out of mountainside i expect that's because we've got to the top
00:56:57this old man can't be far away
00:57:10would you be the old man of the mountains old man
00:57:14yes i am the old man of the mountains have you miserable mortals come to ask for the riddle
00:57:22ah well i'm glad we haven't been climbing the wrong mountain
00:57:26come on ask your riddle old man of the mountains it's not very warm up here but it that is
00:57:31one moment
00:57:32do you know foolish men that if you fail to give me the right answer you will be plunged
00:57:39instantly into the infernal depths of hell
00:57:42after climbing all this way not likely i've got better things to do
00:57:48come on the riddle
00:57:50so be it you are fools follow me
00:57:55you ought to take a trip to the seaside do you good
00:58:07oh presumptuous mortals
00:58:09one of you
00:58:12eyes blindfolded must inform me
00:58:15but there is still time to draw back
00:58:17oh go on ask a riddle
00:58:19one of you two will have to tell me
00:58:22which of these two piles of laundry has been washed with olympus the god's detergent
00:58:34this one it's silkier softer
00:58:37yes you have got it right
00:58:39sure enough this pile is much softer gentler whiter
00:58:42the gods do their washing with olympus which washes whiter and leave your hands so soft
00:58:48oh ye gods did you hear that
00:58:53the smoker has given the right answer
00:58:56oh ye gods did you hear that reply
00:59:00did you hear that reply
00:59:02yes all right we can all hear you
00:59:05those gaulish lads are pretty good
00:59:07you must admit it's true
00:59:09olympus really does wash whiter
00:59:12and leaves your hands soft
00:59:14ever so soft
00:59:15okay we get the idea
00:59:17you military men
00:59:18silence by me
00:59:20but listen oh jupiter
00:59:22do these gauls who are doing so well
00:59:25get a place up here too
00:59:27we're rather short of space as it is
00:59:29quiet
00:59:30we don't let all and sundry in like a pub
00:59:34and to be honest
00:59:35i'm getting fed up with them
00:59:38getting fed up
00:59:53rome's over there
00:59:54not far away
00:59:56but before you're allowed inside
00:59:59you have to spend the night on this plane
01:00:01spend the night on this plane
01:00:04oh good idea
01:00:06i feel a bit tired after those tasks
01:00:09i'll need a sleep
01:00:14yes but i ought to warn you that all who have dared to spend the night on this plane before
01:00:18you
01:00:19have died of fear
01:00:21it is called the plane of departed spirits
01:00:25well good night if that's the right expression
01:00:29what do you suppose happens on this plane
01:00:36oh i don't know and i don't care
01:00:39we must be fit and well tomorrow to enter rome to tackle our last task
01:00:44let's go to sleep now
01:00:59there's no need to go further
01:01:01we should be all right here
01:01:03you're
01:01:03you're sure
01:01:06good night
01:01:07good night
01:01:07good night
01:01:13asterix
01:01:37foreign men
01:01:51good
01:01:52some romans
01:01:54all those romans
01:01:56just for me
01:01:58forward
01:02:01shh
01:02:02don't make so much noise
01:02:04we don't want to wake up asterix
01:02:26a heart
01:02:31a diamond
01:02:34faith
01:02:37crown
01:02:38currencies
01:02:40ν–ˆλ˜
01:02:51don't bother
01:02:52your head
01:02:53poor mortal
01:02:54we are departed spirits
01:02:57Yes, we are ghosts, who haunt this accursed back of here where we were once massacred because of the greed
01:03:08and madness of men.
01:03:10And at this witching hour, we take revenge by making all who dare to spend the night here die of
01:03:19fear.
01:03:22Oi! What's going on around here? What's all this row about?
01:03:26Please, don't be angry, Asterix. They're only trying to keep their spirits up because they all got parted by some
01:03:35witches and madmen.
01:03:36Oh, no, you've gone and got it all wrong. I'll explain. Listen, actually, we're departed spirits and...
01:03:41I couldn't care less who you are. Do you know what the time is?
01:03:44Yes. No. Look, do please listen.
01:03:46No, you can just listen to me. We've run a big race. We've been throwing the javelin. We've been wrestling.
01:03:50We've been having to face priestesses and magicians, big meals and beasts, civil servants, crocodiles and old men.
01:03:54And we need a good night's sleep. You can keep your spirits up, but kindly don't keep us up.
01:03:58Hmph.
01:03:59Please, sir, you must excuse me because...
01:04:01Cumberlings! Come here!
01:04:04Oh, do listen. We're only ghosts.
01:04:07Quiet!
01:04:13Get up. You are expected.
01:04:30But... where are we?
01:04:32You are in Rome, outside Julius Caesar's palace. Caesar is expecting you.
01:04:38Either there's something funny going on around here, or the Romans have learned to build very fast.
01:04:45Bah! What does it matter? Come on then, soldier. Take us to your leader.
01:04:52So here you are in Rome at last.
01:04:55Yes, here we are, Julius.
01:04:58Caius Tidlis has told me all about your journey.
01:05:01Yes, oh Caesar. They have managed to perform all the tasks, overcome all problems and succeeded every time.
01:05:10It cannot be denied, Gauls. The gods have fevered you all along.
01:05:14But this is where your luck runs out, since it is unthinkable for you to become masters of Rome.
01:05:18The last task of all will be the circus.
01:05:22Where you will be massacred along with all the other Gauls from your village.
01:05:29Here we are, everyone.
01:05:36So this is Rome. Frankly, I'm disappointed.
01:05:41I think the time has come to give you a little music.
01:05:56Oh, but look at the prices.
01:06:01Geriatrics.
01:06:09Have a Caesar. The Gauls request audience.
01:06:14It's the lads. Here they are.
01:06:16Here they are.
01:06:17Just look. They've all come. Dogmatic.
01:06:33You Gauls! Quiet!
01:06:41Do you know where you are?
01:06:44Silence! Silence, I said! Silence!
01:06:50Are all to be slaughtered for the amusement of my people.
01:06:53And then nothing at all, nothing, will cast a shadow on my triumph.
01:07:00Guards!
01:07:08Sit down. It is rather like the new t-shirt.
01:07:12Oh, an antipode.
01:07:14Do you pay two sesterti?
01:07:16Can you get oysters?
01:07:17Roast fruit?
01:07:18Oh, scum's on the mountain.
01:07:19Jeez, good.
01:07:24Now, then, now, then, which is it?
01:07:27No, that's for the gladiators.
01:07:30That one's for the ones with nets.
01:07:33Right?
01:07:34Oh, yeah.
01:07:35That's perfect.
01:07:36All through there.
01:07:37Wonder what she's doing there.
01:07:39That one's for the lions.
01:07:42Let me do it.
01:07:43I'll be happy to lend you a hand.
01:07:50Have you ever been to Conditum?
01:07:52They've got a Norris little wine.
01:08:00Caesar's just arrived.
01:08:02What a great big crowd.
01:08:04Roll up, everyone.
01:08:06It's ready.
01:08:09He means the magic potion.
01:08:12But I can't have any.
01:08:17Will the owner of the chariot, parked in front of the bar, please report to the booking office?
01:08:22And it is causing an obstruction.
01:08:29I hope everything is ready.
01:08:31Yes, oh, Caesar.
01:08:33Just for starters, these unhappy Gauls will have to face the fiercest of our gladiators.
01:08:37And then if there are any survivors, I said if.
01:08:42We let out the wild beasts.
01:08:43We've got lions and tigers and panthers and bears.
01:08:46And even elephants.
01:08:48A wonderful program.
01:08:50The audience will love it.
01:08:51All right.
01:08:53You can bring on the gladiators.
01:09:10Hooray, Caesar!
01:09:11I think we should all get ready.
01:09:14It will soon be our turn.
01:09:15Good.
01:09:16I'm going in first and you all follow me.
01:09:18And keep in line, please.
01:09:20There are going to be people there watching us.
01:09:22So let's show some dignity.
01:09:24And why should you go first?
01:09:25I'm your chief.
01:09:27That's why I should go in first.
01:09:28But we've been doing all the work, haven't we, Asterix?
01:09:32Some woodens aren't over a bit of fun now.
01:09:34That's right.
01:09:34Some people always get the luck.
01:09:35Will you let me buy a one too?
01:09:37Of course you're stupid.
01:09:38Who said stupid?
01:09:39Everyone stand back.
01:09:41Do you see my fist right here?
01:09:42Do you see my foot right here?
01:09:44We go to all their trouble and then you stupid.
01:09:47Stupid yourself, fatty.
01:09:48Oh, Asterix.
01:09:51He called me fatty.
01:09:53You can drag the galls on now.
01:10:10Leave them to me.
01:10:11Leave them to me.
01:10:12No, we won't.
01:10:14No, we won't.
01:10:15Both should we.
01:10:15I'll smack your face.
01:10:17You just try it.
01:10:19Shut up.
01:10:20Go on, try it.
01:10:21You just try it.
01:10:23Oh, run away.
01:10:26Let me have one.
01:10:27Let me have one.
01:10:31Hello.
01:10:34Hello.
01:10:35Hello.
01:10:36Hello.
01:10:36Hello.
01:10:36Hello.
01:10:36Hello.
01:10:36Hello.
01:10:36Hello.
01:10:37Hello.
01:10:38Hello.
01:10:39Hello.
01:10:50Hello.
01:10:52Hello.
01:10:53Hello.
01:11:03Hello.
01:11:03I won.
01:11:04You won what?
01:11:05Up here.
01:11:06Up here.
01:11:07Up here.
01:11:11Up here.
01:11:13Up here.
01:11:26Up.
01:11:51Pursuit, P! Pursuit!
01:11:56Pursuit!
01:12:11Pursuit!
01:12:13Pursuit!
01:12:15Pursuit!
01:12:15Pursuit!
01:12:19Oh, I've injured myself.
01:12:22Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, let it injure me, sir.
01:12:25Jolly good, jolly good.
01:12:27I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
01:12:32Oh, yes, take this.
01:12:34Matty-doy.
01:12:38Oh, went and threw that custard pie at me.
01:12:41Oh, threw that pie.
01:12:42Come on now, kiddies.
01:12:44Oh, hold up.
01:12:47Oh, wild beasts.
01:12:49Bring on the wild beasts.
01:12:56toe.
01:13:16Wow.
01:13:16Ah, waff.
01:13:18We'll be right now.
01:13:35They've ruined the circus, making children laugh.
01:13:44They've ruined the circus.
01:13:56You Gauls, you've performed all 12 tasks I set you.
01:14:00You've succeeded in every one of the difficult tests which I thought up for you.
01:14:04So you must be gods, and it's no good trying to fight against gods.
01:14:09You have indeed mastered us.
01:14:12I leave my fate and that of Rome entirely in your hands.
01:14:38With great magnanimity, the Gauls allowed Julius Caesar to retire to a little country villa to live there in peace
01:14:45and quiet, far from the responsibilities of power.
01:14:48Julius, your dinner's ready.
01:15:06What a really wonderful cook you are, Cleopatra dear.
01:15:13As for our friend Caius Tidolus, he was allowed to choose his own reward for his good and faithful service.
01:15:26And at last, back in Gaul, in a little village which was now the centre of the known world, our
01:15:32friends reunited, celebrated their return with a banquet under the stars.
01:15:37Have we really become the masters of Rome?
01:15:39Let's face it, this is only a cartoon film, and anything goes.
01:15:44Anything goes?
01:15:45Bruce?
01:15:46Bruce?
01:15:48Bruce?
01:15:49Bruce?
01:15:55Bruce?
01:16:05ΒΆΒΆ
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