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The Valley (2024) Season 3 Episode 2
#TheValley
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#TheValley
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00:15Previously on The Valley.
00:17Cheers to the beautiful babies.
00:18Yes.
00:19You don't know what you want.
00:20We don't know either.
00:21I say $404.
00:22How about one more?
00:25You're gorgeous.
00:27I don't know.
00:27I just feel like it could work.
00:29Cheers.
00:31Honey.
00:31Brandon is like very emotionally stable.
00:34You have no idea how sexy that is.
00:37Yeah.
00:39This summer, Brittany had a pool party.
00:42Kristen's, Brittany, why is she here?
00:44She doesn't deserve to be here.
00:46She's on too many of my friends.
00:48Yeah.
00:48I left in tears.
00:50I haven't felt like that since seventh grade.
00:53How are things between Michelle and Lacey?
00:56I don't know where that's going to go, to be honest with you.
00:58Listen, I don't want to fight with any woman.
00:59All I need is a divorce and I'm done.
01:03I'm all right.
01:06I'm all right.
01:09Everything is all right.
01:12Everything is all right.
01:15I'm all right.
01:27Ready for the pool with Daddy?
01:30Come, Joe!
01:31Woo!
01:33Dad, those are your funny things.
01:46I'm glad you came back.
01:48But Bert, I'm going to tell you, eventually I'm going to meet somebody.
01:50I'm going to ask her to move in.
01:51If I'm lucky, make some babies.
01:54Mm-hmm.
01:56Baby.
01:56Thought I was dreaming when I woke up.
01:58Don't forgive me if I don't take it serious.
02:01Thought I heard you call my name like you knew me.
02:04Don't make me laugh and treat you like a groupie.
02:08How do you feel?
02:10About what?
02:11About what?
02:12I don't know either.
02:14Life.
02:15The Simmons scene was actually really fun.
02:17I'll be honest, I didn't see Schwartz and Michelle getting flirty on my bingo card.
02:22So were they flirty?
02:24Yeah.
02:25They, like, agreed to have a night out in WeHo.
02:29What does Jesse think?
02:31Um...
02:31Does he care?
02:33There would be a fly on that wall.
02:35This group is so weird.
02:37It is.
02:38I can't believe we have to go to another party tomorrow.
02:41Law was talking to Nia and I, obviously, about Janet coming.
02:45And I was just like, why is this even a conversation?
02:49We are having Sosa's birthday party.
02:51Janet will be there tomorrow.
02:53I have no interest in conversing with Janet.
02:56We're going to a one-year-old's birthday party.
02:59Wrong place, wrong day, wrong time.
03:02There you go.
03:06I don't want to be so much.
03:07You know, I'm really patient.
03:08I don't want to push it.
03:09But I just feel that we've been neglecting ourselves and our relationship.
03:16Since we haven't, like, had time to us without her around.
03:24Um...
03:25Would you rather, like, us have a night in and have her, like, at Brittany's house or have a babysitter
03:32here and we go out?
03:35Like, my fourth trimester literally ended two days ago.
03:40I'm not just like, date night, give her to a babysitter.
03:44Life is back to normal.
03:47You know, like, we haven't had, like, intimacy has been an issue for us.
03:55And I'd like to, like, start moving the direction of getting back to, you know, our old sex life.
04:04You want me to be honest?
04:06Yes, of course.
04:08But I hate that idea.
04:11Yeah, I just feel, like, really attached to her.
04:17I absolutely understand Luke's needs.
04:20And my therapist said, like, what is 15 minutes out of your day, Kristen?
04:25But the actual thought of sex, I just pushed a baby out of my vagina.
04:33My head's just not there.
04:34Like, try to get back into the motion because happy parents make happy babies and...
04:39I feel more like I just shit my daughter off to a friend's house so we could fuck.
04:43Like, that's how it would feel.
04:58Hola.
04:59Hey.
05:01Where's my little babies?
05:02I'm in the sensory room.
05:02Come look.
05:04What is that?
05:05They have this at his occupational therapy.
05:07Oh, that's so cool.
05:08So, like, he gets inside of it and it's a swing.
05:10That's so cool.
05:11I recently changed Cruz's playroom into a sensory room.
05:15So it has all the things to help him regulate whenever he's feeling overwhelmed or anything
05:19like that.
05:19Like, basically everything that they would have at OT, I have in here as well.
05:23And, of course, the trampoline.
05:24Oh, I love this thing, too.
05:25Drunk Zach would love that.
05:27Once he's, like, jumping on a trampoline or doing all these different things that makes him feel
05:31good, he's more inclined to listen and learn, such as working on speech and different things
05:37like that, and he loves it.
05:39Look, Uncle Zach's here.
05:41Look.
05:41Hey, buddy.
05:42Oh, no.
05:45Go get it.
05:45Ready?
05:46He's been jumping all day at the park, so he can have iPad time.
05:50Come here, look.
05:52There's Zach!
05:54Yeah.
05:55It sounded like you said Zach.
05:55Oh, my God.
05:56That was...
05:56Did you say Zach?
05:58Did you say Zach?
05:59Oh.
06:02It almost sounded like you said I did.
06:04Did you say Zach?
06:05Yeah.
06:06Cruz is so happy.
06:08He is more social.
06:10He's going up to everybody, wanting them to pick him up.
06:13No.
06:14Buddy.
06:14And a lot of it is because Jax's negative energy is not around.
06:21So Benji just got back into town.
06:23Mm-hmm.
06:24How is it going?
06:26Benji's, of course, like, happy to be back.
06:28Yeah.
06:29We need to just apply for a different type of visa.
06:33Benji is the perfect complement because I allow him to be his self, and he allows me to
06:38be myself.
06:39It truly made me think, wow.
06:44I want to be with this guy forever.
06:48You guys talk about kids or anything like that?
06:50That's, like, a non-negotiable for Benji because he wants kids so bad.
06:54And he's already started to call agencies, but surrogacy is, like, $200,000 or something.
07:00And here's the thing.
07:01It's not that I don't want kids.
07:03It's that I never saw myself having kids.
07:06Yeah.
07:06You need to think about it.
07:07I need to get mentally there.
07:08Yeah.
07:08I mean, it is a lifelong commitment.
07:10Yeah.
07:10So do you like babies?
07:15Some of them are, like, kind of cute.
07:18Well, let's change topics because I also, speaking of that, I am a little worried.
07:23Like, I know I haven't met Brandon yet.
07:25Mm.
07:26And I know you guys just got back from Cabo.
07:30Yeah.
07:30And I'd love to see you smiling happy.
07:32And if we're being honest, sexually satisfied.
07:36Okay?
07:37Like, that's, like, that is very important.
07:39I want those.
07:39But, like, it is moving far too fast.
07:42No, I feel like it definitely seems like it's moving faster because I've known him for so long.
07:47And it's almost like we picked up from years ago.
07:50But I am really still focusing on me.
07:53I like him.
07:54He makes me feel good.
07:55And he's a good person.
07:56And we have fun together.
07:58He has two baby mamas, though.
08:00Right.
08:01But the good thing about Brandon is that he told me everything.
08:04Like, he did not lie about anything.
08:08Do you not see some of the similarities with Jax?
08:15No, not at all.
08:17He is, like, not confrontational at all.
08:20Oh, my God.
08:21Brittany, why?
08:22Why can't you see this for what it is?
08:24He has three kids by two different women.
08:27Drama with both.
08:28He doesn't even live here.
08:30I'm sorry.
08:30This is a recipe for disaster.
08:32I'm talking about, like, that personality that's able to manipulate you, captivate you, pull you in, get what he wants,
08:41and then move on.
08:44He asked me, like, to be his girlfriend.
08:48I was like, I'm not ready for that just yet.
08:50No, ever since we've known each other.
08:52It's, you're in the relationship, you're in the next relationship, you're in the next relationship.
08:56But I've been single for almost two years now.
08:58No, absolutely not.
09:00There was people that you were, you're still rebounding.
09:05No.
09:05You're just missing that shot a lot.
09:08No.
09:09Zach means well.
09:10He's just coming at me a little aggressive.
09:12The denial that you have is insane.
09:16I literally just came out of a very controlling relationship, and I do not want any man to try to
09:21fill that space.
09:22Just, like, back off.
09:24Like, let me live.
09:30Coming up.
09:31Do you want me to hold her, and you go up to the guy?
09:34Wait, what's going on there?
09:35The lifeguard.
09:36I'll catch you later, at nap time.
09:51Hi.
09:52I didn't want to see your party.
09:54Oh, my gosh.
09:55It looks so...
09:56How amazing does this look?
09:57Looks amazing.
09:58Look how adorable this is.
10:01I want to see what she's like in the ball pit.
10:03Do it, do it.
10:05You're so big in there.
10:07She loves it.
10:08Lifeguard is hot.
10:11Hi.
10:11What's your name?
10:12Elijah.
10:13Elijah and Wawa.
10:14Nice to meet you, Lala.
10:15Thank you for coming today.
10:16Yes.
10:17How old are you?
10:18I'm 30 years old.
10:19Very nice.
10:20You're very handsome.
10:21You're welcome.
10:22This is a huge milestone.
10:25When I gave birth to Sosa, and she was, like, in human form, and I could, like, put a face
10:30to this thought that I've had for so many years.
10:33And she just completed the family.
10:35It just felt so right.
10:36He is hot.
10:37I'm about to move him into the house, Lise.
10:40I will just trot off to Palm Springs and adios.
10:46Hi, Schwartzy.
10:48You brought delicious mocktails for us.
10:50Let's get a little drunky and maybe have a little bumpy.
10:54That's my game plan.
10:56Oh, my God, Lala.
10:58Schwartzy, you're going to die.
11:00Is that not the cutest thing you've ever seen?
11:02That tiny little face?
11:05Pants were a bad idea today.
11:07It's not as hot as it has been.
11:09It's only 90.
11:10This looks amazing.
11:11Absolutely amazing.
11:13Hi, welcome.
11:15Hi, beautiful.
11:16Happy birthday.
11:17How are you feeling?
11:18Good.
11:19You're not nervous?
11:20A little, but...
11:21A little?
11:21I think if...
11:22It feels really good energy in here.
11:24It's always good energy at this house.
11:26You know this.
11:27Going into Sosa's birthday, I am very nervous to see everybody that I haven't been on the best terms with.
11:33Yes, you've called you accountable.
11:36Hi.
11:36I've heard you can't stand.
11:38How are you?
11:40I'm solid.
11:40Good.
11:40Just chilling.
11:41Flirting with the taco stand.
11:42Oh, I thought you were going to say flirting with Lala.
11:43No.
11:44Oh, well, my God.
11:44We'll do that later.
11:46You excited?
11:48This is nice.
11:49Have you been here before?
11:49No, but this is right down the street from that house we looked at.
11:52I know.
11:53How beautiful, girl.
11:55This is beautiful.
11:57Oh, my gosh.
11:58She's, like, pretty.
12:00Like, she has, like, a pretty face.
12:01How are you?
12:02So good to see you.
12:03Congratulations to you guys.
12:04So good to see you, too.
12:05So good to see you, too.
12:06So good to see you.
12:06One.
12:06This is the newest one, Adelaide.
12:08Yeah.
12:09Look at that smile.
12:11Look at that smile.
12:14It's a hot one.
12:15I'm sorry.
12:16So bright.
12:17Hey.
12:20Hi.
12:21Hello.
12:22I'm going to say hi.
12:23Make your big appearance.
12:26How's everything been?
12:27Fine.
12:28I saw there was a sifting suit.
12:29Yeah.
12:30Not for me.
12:31I sifted.
12:32I saw none.
12:34Last summer was tough, and it felt like our whole friend group kind of got torn apart.
12:38Oh, the big hair.
12:40We should have a photo of all of them just, like, next to each other.
12:43We're all so awkward to be in the same room together, and I don't want to feel like that
12:48anymore.
12:49Turn around.
12:50Hey, bud.
12:51How can we fix this so, at the very least, we can have some peace in the group?
12:56All right.
12:56Where's dad?
12:57I just want to stay away from as much drama as I can.
12:59Stay away from as much drama as I can.
13:01Hi, babies.
13:02If there's tension in the room, I don't notice it.
13:05All right.
13:06We got the shot.
13:07Maybe it'll be a big thing on her end.
13:08Oh, it's awkward.
13:09Not for me.
13:10Don't notice.
13:11Not on my radar.
13:12Don't think about her.
13:14Hi, everybody.
13:15Hi, baby.
13:16Cruz is here.
13:17So cute.
13:18So handsome.
13:21You're so big.
13:22I know.
13:22Like, every time.
13:24I know.
13:25Hey, how are you?
13:26So adorable.
13:26Oh, thanks.
13:28Hey, Luke.
13:29Hey, hey.
13:29How are you?
13:30Good.
13:31Do you want me to hold her and you go up to the guy?
13:34I like the big...
13:34Wait, what guy?
13:35The lifeguard.
13:36Do you know him?
13:37I don't know him.
13:38I'm about to know him, though.
13:42I'm kind of nervous.
13:45Hi.
13:45I know we're at my daughter's first birthday, but is it weird if I have you take my numbers
13:49out?
13:49If it weren't my daughter's first birthday party, I would probably go have a quickie.
13:55I'll catch you later at nap time.
13:58Can I sit here?
13:59Yeah, please.
13:59Is this your purse?
14:00Yeah.
14:01Is it?
14:01With the loophole?
14:02No.
14:02It's new.
14:04I asked Michelle on a date yesterday.
14:06That's how rumors are started.
14:08Please.
14:08Yeah, what?
14:09Just kidding.
14:09What do you think the love of her life is?
14:11I see you with somebody in their late 20s that's just like free spirit and easy going.
14:16Someone who wants to live, laugh, love like we're going to do.
14:18I think I underestimated Michelle.
14:20I thought she was kind of like this meager, kind of quiet, soft-spoken person.
14:25But she's kind of a baddie.
14:27By the way, I got a little buzz.
14:30She's kind of a MILF.
14:31Ooh.
14:32You know what I mean.
14:33I don't.
14:34What's the ?
14:36Can I just get a little plate of whatever meat is the least spicy and a little rice,
14:41please?
14:42What up, dawg?
14:43Two days in a row?
14:44Let's go.
14:45I feel spoiled like a big, big, big, big.
14:47It looks so good.
14:48Yeah, I do find myself living vicariously through you guys at events like this.
14:52I get a little, a little sad.
14:54Yeah.
14:55Wait, how did you guys meet?
14:56Church.
14:57You did?
14:57My heart deep down is, you know, a man of faith and I love to serve and I do that
15:04types
15:04of things like, that's what I got to start doing and find someone who has the same heart.
15:07And then you met Nia.
15:08Nia is gorgeous and a freak in the sheets.
15:12And God was like, done.
15:13He blessed you.
15:15Nia Sanchez on a flat.
15:17Ouch.
15:18Yeah.
15:19Jack came over last night.
15:21How was it?
15:22He was talking about Brandon and, you know, he's just worried that I'm moving too fast.
15:26I don't know.
15:26I kind of felt like attacked a little bit the way he was coming at me.
15:29I talked to Brandon about it.
15:30I was like, people are like worried because you do have a lot of baggage.
15:33No one goes without baggage, really.
15:35Nobody's baggage compares to Jax Taylor.
15:37No.
15:38Like, let's be real.
15:39We're on the same level.
15:40Come on now.
15:42Thank you so much.
15:44Watch this.
15:44We could do this all day.
15:45It never gets old.
15:47You're playing fetch with him.
15:48I'm just as entertained.
15:51Good boy, Tom.
15:54Hi, hi.
15:55Hey.
15:55I don't want to bug you while you're eating, but...
15:57No, you're good.
15:57You have a sec.
15:59You're good, you're good.
16:00Feel free to keep eating.
16:03Um, I just wanted to talk because I feel like things haven't been 100% or, like, great
16:09with us.
16:10I want you to know that you mean a lot to me.
16:13And I wanted to apologize again for really just speaking on stuff that I wasn't involved
16:18in.
16:20Yes.
16:21I don't know if this is the time to do it here, but, like, I think that there's, like,
16:24a bigger, larger conversation that we need to have to get to the real group.
16:27Yeah.
16:28Like, what happened between us.
16:29You have brought things up.
16:30It's mind blowing right now, I guess.
16:31And use Jasmine's name.
16:33Jasmine heard that you take your ring off sometimes at bars.
16:35Never.
16:36Our friendship hasn't been the same.
16:38Like, we don't talk at all.
16:39I didn't even realize at the time, like, why am I so, like, mad?
16:43Yeah.
16:43And, like, I just started therapy.
16:45Like, thank God.
16:46And this was, like, one of the things that I was, like, I feel really unresolved and bothered
16:49by this situation.
16:50Like, Jasmine's always been awesome.
16:54Hold up.
16:55Hold up.
16:57Therapy has been a big help.
16:58One of the things I'm really diving into is, like, I realized last year I was using a lot
17:02of words that the intention was to hurt.
17:04And so I'm really diving into that with my therapist to say, like, how can we work through that
17:09where I can express myself and communicate without using hurtful language.
17:13My whole mind was, like, this friendship is dead.
17:15It's done.
17:16Like, I had a funeral for you in my brain.
17:18Like, the thought that, like, I know before you would have been at my wedding.
17:22Like, and I'm thinking now I'm like, oh, shit, Janet's not going to be at my wedding.
17:24That's crazy.
17:28The one thing that I will say, like, I would hope we could have some resolution on is, like,
17:32our conversation at the beach last year was really tough.
17:35Janet, you have been a shit ass friend.
17:37You are a vibe killer.
17:39You're exhausting.
17:40You give parent energy.
17:41And I'm done with it.
17:42Do you have any sort of, though, like, understanding that, like, an apology would be nice for, like,
17:47all the shit you called me that day?
17:50I was heated because, literally, I have you two coming at me for something that I did
17:54when I blocked and everything I've done, like, you know, same thing.
17:59So maybe some space is good.
18:02It's like Janet's just Janet-ing.
18:04Enough is enough.
18:05I guess therapy's really working for you.
18:09I'll let you enjoy your tacos.
18:11Yes, I'm actually done.
18:13All right.
18:14It flies all over.
18:17Yeah.
18:27Okay.
18:27Did you do that?
18:28Really?
18:29Oh, yeah, girl.
18:30Isabella, you are the star.
18:32Do you know that?
18:33She keeps coming up to me.
18:34She's loving.
18:35Wait.
18:35How do you feel being here?
18:37I feel okay.
18:37Being with everybody.
18:38Jasmine and I talked a little bit.
18:39It was okay.
18:40Oh, you talked to Jasmine?
18:41I told her, kind of, I would follow her lead.
18:44I just wish everybody could just get along.
18:47Me too.
18:47And be in Wonderland.
18:49These are nice.
18:51The funny part, she's like,
18:52Don't take a bonus.
18:53I hate it.
18:54If she wants to waste her money
18:55on expensive stuff for your kid,
18:56why not?
18:56Oh, wait, Lacey Bottom?
18:57Yeah.
18:58Oh, I thought Lacey Bottom the whole time.
19:01Isabella, careful.
19:05Hello, hello.
19:06Welcome aboard.
19:08Do I have to buckle up or no?
19:12Hello, hello.
19:12Welcome to the Aviator.
19:13How are you?
19:14Good, how are you?
19:15Good.
19:16We're sitting on the aisle seats.
19:18Yeah, he said you have to buckle up, though.
19:20Yeah, no, that's not happening.
19:22Okay.
19:23What are we thinking?
19:24I'm going to have Grey Goose barely dirty.
19:28Barely dirty.
19:29Barely dirty.
19:29Got you.
19:30I would like my martini dirty.
19:32Dirty martini, yes.
19:33Like him.
19:33We're going to try.
19:35And the Brussels sprouts, yeah.
19:36You got it, boys.
19:37I'll be right back.
19:38All right, thank you.
19:38You're welcome.
19:40What happened to Jasmine?
19:41I thought it was like a...
19:42So, last night, Jasmine calls me,
19:44and she's like,
19:45Lala invited me to the party today.
19:48I would love for you to come to Sosa's birthday tomorrow.
19:51Appreciate that.
19:52So, we have now become not good enough,
19:56and Lala's good enough.
19:57Right.
19:58Okay.
19:58The sip and see in general was just like,
20:00I felt like we had all entered another dimension,
20:03and, like, things were happening,
20:04and I was like, what is going on?
20:06I was actually kind of nervous arriving with Lacey.
20:09I had, like, sweaty mustache,
20:10and I'm like, what's going to happen right now?
20:13We have a long back story, Lacey and I.
20:15We were...
20:16Not when you were 21.
20:17She's 23.
20:19She was, like, 23 or 24.
20:2023. Yeah.
20:20And I was, like, 30.
20:21And we were, like, texting all day, every day
20:24for years until they met Michelle.
20:27And we didn't reconnect for 10 years.
20:29We both have kids,
20:31so we're just, like,
20:32the most in-the-moment relationship I've ever been.
20:35The thing about Lacey and I
20:37is I feel like we're equals.
20:39And when it comes to, like, conversation, intellect,
20:43with Michelle,
20:44I always felt like she wasn't participating.
20:47She was just, like, kind of there for the ride.
20:50Lacey did say that she was very nice.
20:54If I had pearls, I would have grabbed them.
20:56I was floored that they were talking.
20:58And neither one of them swung.
21:02Lacey's trying to make the steps,
21:05to create that modern family,
21:07because, you know,
21:08I know how important it is for Isabella
21:11when she sees the two of us together.
21:12I thought everything was, like, the Twilight Zone,
21:14but then I saw Michelle and Tom talking,
21:16and I was, like...
21:19Like, Tom, you don't...
21:20Like, why are you doing that?
21:22I forget who it was that said something to me.
21:25They were like, oh,
21:27Schwartz and Michelle should get together.
21:30And then you, Schwartz, Lacey, and Michelle
21:33can start hanging out together.
21:35But I went to Schwartz and Michelle individually,
21:37and I was like, you guys should get together.
21:39No!
21:40That's, like, the blind leading the blind.
21:43I don't like it.
21:47Can we put this knife over there for a sec?
21:52Dude, Tom, I gotta tell you something.
21:53Tom is super warm when we left.
21:55Yeah.
21:55Kristen and I hooked up for the first time since...
21:57That's a super seat?
21:58No.
21:59Before we came here.
21:59Oh.
22:00I don't know I'm not a woman,
22:01but from what I hear,
22:02you're not comfortable in your own skin
22:03after you have a kid, post-mortem,
22:05all this stuff.
22:05So that's a beautiful thing.
22:07Post-mortem?
22:08No, sorry.
22:10You okay?
22:11You getting warm?
22:13So, what's been cooking with you and Michelle?
22:16Dude, nothing.
22:18What do you mean nothing?
22:20Nothing.
22:20Hi, Brett.
22:21You're going to...
22:22Sorry, Cruz is running around, though.
22:24Look, there's Uncle Tom.
22:25He wants to swim, for sure.
22:28He can swim really good, actually.
22:31Hi, babe.
22:32Yes?
22:33Let me see the little nugget.
22:34And I love when that happens,
22:35when they don't even fight it.
22:37That's great.
22:38I feel so, like, weird even talking to you about this,
22:40but I do want to find, like, level ground for you and Janet.
22:44Huh.
22:45I love Janet.
22:47She is a wonderful person.
22:48There are things she does where I'm like,
22:50you went too far, but guess what else?
22:52I've gone too far at times,
22:53and I would hope that people would forgive me.
22:55So I'm really hoping that they can slowly, like, make amends.
22:59It's just a lot of damage that has been done,
23:01and it's like, do you really have a change of mind,
23:03or is it just performative to, like, get along in a group space?
23:06I don't know.
23:07I'm advocating for the devil with a Christian woman.
23:09Yeah.
23:10I mean, I don't like Janet.
23:12Do you think we can just hang out and talk at a table
23:14and everything will be great?
23:15Like, I don't, I don't really know.
23:17I don't know.
23:19It's not Southern.
23:21No.
23:21You get it?
23:22No.
23:22Get in Italian.
23:24Hi.
23:25Hi.
23:26Are you having an amazing day?
23:27I'm having the best day, and it's about to be even more amazing.
23:31Oh, great.
23:32For me.
23:33Why?
23:34I have me outside who's willing to build a bridge.
23:38Really?
23:41Just hear her out, and let's just see how it goes.
23:42I'm happy to hear her out.
23:44I'm happy to hear her out.
23:45All right.
23:45Come this way.
23:46I come bearing a Janet.
23:48Ever heard of one?
23:50Hi.
23:51How are you?
23:52Congratulations on the baby.
23:54Baby's good.
23:55How are you doing?
23:56Good.
23:57Good.
23:58Yeah.
23:59Yeah.
23:59Yeah.
24:00Good.
24:01I know today's been awkward.
24:05Yeah.
24:06Um, if there's anything you want to say, or like, get off your chest, I'm happy to listen.
24:19Well, congratulations again.
24:23Talk to you soon.
24:24Okay.
24:24Hey.
24:27Normally, Janet's MO is to walk away from a conversation when it gets tough.
24:31But nothing was happening.
24:32I don't know why she just left the conversation.
24:35What happened?
24:36She just said, congratulations, and then walked away.
24:39That's what?
24:42Can I steal you for a second?
24:43Yeah.
24:44It is what it is.
24:47Lala pulled me to talk to Nia, and I said, okay, well, this is awkward, but congratulations
24:52from the home and the baby.
24:55Gonna do some milky time.
24:57If you have anything you want to say to me, and she's just staring at me, nodding her
25:00head.
25:00If we go below the surface, she doesn't want to talk about what has happened.
25:04Yeah?
25:05Hi.
25:06Oh, shoot.
25:06Wrong spot.
25:07Sorry.
25:08Trying to feed the baby.
25:08Come in.
25:09Well, that was awkward.
25:11I feel like with Danny and Nia, I'm not really ever going to be able to win.
25:15Please come in here.
25:17I just went into the other room, and Janet was in there.
25:19Nia, I think I do need to apologize to for using words to cause her pain.
25:25She is innocent in some ways, but also defending the behavior is kind of a tough one.
25:31It was the shortest conversation I've ever had with anybody in my entire life.
25:34You guys talk for like two seconds, and then she just walked away.
25:37Yeah.
25:37There's no conversation unless they apologize.
25:41There is nothing for me to do or say to Janet, we're just done.
25:46That ship has sailed.
25:47Never in my life have I felt this type of way towards anybody.
25:53I don't want to be friends with her.
26:00They got me like whoa.
26:02I was feeling grimy.
26:03Now I'm shining like gold.
26:05Sweating for a second.
26:06Now I'm chilling like snow.
26:07Boys are ready, baby.
26:10It's only right.
26:11How are you?
26:12That you come with me to get my balls checked.
26:16So it's Botox for your scrotox?
26:18I am not getting scrotox.
26:20Three, two, one.
26:21That one hurt.
26:22We're going to be ball brothers.
26:23Damn it.
26:25I was going to say that.
26:27Poor Nia.
26:28She's having a day.
26:29Why?
26:30Probably just hormones.
26:31Sad.
26:32Yeah.
26:33So when it comes to who wanted to like kind of push this ball snipping forward, was it
26:39more you or was it more Nia?
26:44How about one more?
26:45No, babe.
26:46I got you an appointment to get a vasectomy.
26:48Listen.
26:48Hold on.
26:52It was more Nia.
26:54It's never even crossed my mind.
26:55What?
26:56You just want to use a condom the rest of your life?
26:57No.
26:58It's called pull and pray method.
27:02Here's the thing.
27:03It kills me to think that Asher wouldn't have a brother to grow up with.
27:08And a lot of people are saying it is a pretty ballsy procedure.
27:16All right.
27:17Here we go.
27:20Hi, Danny.
27:21Hi, Dr. Turek.
27:22Nice to meet you.
27:23Did you bring your wingman?
27:24I brought my support.
27:25Support system.
27:26Yes.
27:27For sure.
27:28Nice to meet you.
27:29Good to meet you.
27:30Let's talk about a vasectomy.
27:31Okay.
27:32So it's 200 years old.
27:33Ready for this?
27:35Oh, boy.
27:36You're like a child.
27:37You're like, that's a penis.
27:39What do you think?
27:40Where do you think the vasectomy happens?
27:42So we used to do incisions, and we used instruments that weren't made for the procedure.
27:45The Chinese allowed us to do it through punctures.
27:47So we do it through punctures.
27:48This is really quiet and fast.
27:50Five seconds.
27:50Does it take away any, like, testosterone, like when you neuter a dog and they become, like,
27:55calm?
27:56So when you neuter a dog, you take his testicles out?
27:59That is correct.
28:01We're not taking your testicles out.
28:03Got you.
28:04I would not exercise for about four or five days, sex five or six.
28:07Oof.
28:08You're gonna be fertile for three months or 35 ejaculance.
28:11And who will take care of my wife will be in a wheelchair after 35.
28:16I'm so dumb.
28:18Yeah, we're gonna have to work that out.
28:20I don't find Danny that funny.
28:24But Danny sure finds himself hilarious.
28:27This is quick.
28:29We dropping trout here?
28:30Trouble face me.
28:34How are your balls?
28:35Doing good.
28:36Can you find them?
28:37I found them.
28:38They're really big.
28:39Oh, don't egg him on.
28:48You wanna sit here?
28:50Yeah.
28:54This is gonna be for you.
28:57This is for you.
28:58Thank you so much.
28:59So I only wore a hat because you told me you were wearing a hat.
29:02I know, I lied.
29:04Okay, now can I tell you about what just happened to me?
29:07I was just stopped and accosted by this psychic named Lola.
29:11Okay.
29:11And she said she has something sinister to tell me and it's immediate.
29:14How would you describe Lacey?
29:17She may be one of the strongest women I've ever met.
29:21But she's also very classy and a little bougie.
29:26I don't wanna be bougie.
29:27I'm always trying to like reverse bougie Uno card.
29:30Like when we're out, I'm trying to be like more relatable.
29:34I'm never trying to be bougie.
29:35I have bleach blonde hair extensions and I have fat looks, so.
29:40But you do wear Zara jeans.
29:41I do only wear jeans from Zara's.
29:45I live in Newport Coast.
29:46I was born in San Clemente.
29:49My house is nice.
29:50It's around 4,000 square feet and it has five bedrooms and five bathrooms.
29:55You guys can Google it like Janet.
29:59She said, I see you're unhappy with your home.
30:03I mean, the bathroom remodel is taking a long time.
30:07So she's not off like.
30:08Yeah, but I'm stoked.
30:09I love my house.
30:10It's my dream house too.
30:12In my dream neighborhood.
30:15As long as I'm an adolescent child, I will never live with another man.
30:20You're a hoarder.
30:21I am not a hoarder.
30:22I am a saver of memories.
30:24It's cute though.
30:25I got married in my 20s.
30:27I have a little girl.
30:29Got divorced shortly after and landed on Jessie Lally.
30:32You did well in your divorce, I take it.
30:34Yeah, I did well in my divorce.
30:36As every woman should.
30:38I do know the house next to yours is on the market for rent right now, so.
30:43Out of your price range.
30:45Would you move to LA?
30:47Not for the millennials.
30:48Why?
30:49She's in the best school.
30:51She's got her family.
30:53Would I ever uproot her life for my own selfish well-being?
30:57Isabella and Coco get along great.
30:58They like their own language.
31:00I don't really know what's going on.
31:01It's like them against us.
31:03Like, I agree that it works exactly how we've always planned it from the beginning.
31:08But I think you're a little more clingy than I am.
31:10I'm super clingy.
31:12Regardless of where we live, I am extremely happy with you.
31:17Especially when you smile at your teeth like this.
31:21Come on, do it.
31:22You do it.
31:23I will try to take down my complaining, defensiveness, stupidity.
31:30I don't call you stupid.
31:32It's a lack of self-awareness.
31:34Lacey is perfectly hard on me to make sure I keep growing as a person.
31:40You like it.
31:41Am I, is it making you like a masochist?
31:44Anyway, this month we're going to do the egg freezing.
31:48Okay.
31:49So we have to start the shots this week.
31:52So I'll be meaner.
31:55How many eggs are we going to freeze?
31:57Well, we are not going to freeze any eggs. They're my eggs.
32:00I'm not trying to have a child right now. I just want to have the option one day.
32:04Do you think we would have a blonde child or a dark-haired child?
32:09Let me look at your eyes.
32:10We kind of have the same color eyes.
32:13No, you have like black eyes.
32:16I have a black part.
32:17I would say that if either someone.
32:20I love you very much.
32:24I'm trying to be nicer.
32:26It's just not in your DNA.
32:27I swear, I'm really nice and loving.
32:30You want to kiss me?
32:33You've got pepper in your tooth.
32:35I love you.
32:37Thanks.
32:40Always with the thank yous.
32:41Check, please.
32:56Hey, guys.
32:57Hi, how are you?
32:59This is very cool.
33:00I love stuff like this.
33:02You do?
33:03Hi.
33:03Oh, hey.
33:04I'm so excited.
33:05Oh, my God.
33:07Follow me. We can go over here.
33:13So here we go.
33:15Oh, interesting.
33:17Is that a gong?
33:19So welcome, guys.
33:20You are in our large cake.
33:23Sarah is our sound bath healer.
33:27I hope you enjoy yourselves and have a meaningful experience.
33:32So I just would like to ask a little bit about why you're here today.
33:35Well, it's our first date and I thought this...
33:38Definitely not our first date.
33:40Just kidding.
33:41For me, I went through a very nasty divorce.
33:44Yeah.
33:45My mother also passed away not so long ago.
33:49So I just have a lot of healing.
33:52I'm at the tail end of a very climactic, dramatic few years.
33:57Okay.
33:58But I've been pretty dang peaceful lately.
34:00Oh, great.
34:00So you need to sort of transition into like a more grounded space where you're going to be opening up.
34:05Is that fair?
34:06Totally.
34:06All right.
34:08So let's begin.
34:10Deeply inhale through your nose.
34:12And a long exhale through your mouth.
34:15Trying to make it like twice as long as that inhale was.
34:20Good.
34:21These are crystal alchemy bowls and this ball has salt in it, which is really good for anything to do
34:27with the mother.
34:28And it's at your heart.
34:31Listen, this isn't my first sound bath.
34:33Definitely not my last.
34:34I'm a fan.
34:36Maybe they're manifestations.
34:38I don't know what they are.
34:39Hallucinations.
34:40Some sort of vision.
34:41And I see like a screaming emerald eagle.
34:47It feels almost biblical.
34:51The sound bath is incredible.
34:53The sounds are so healing and they're bouncing off the walls.
34:58And you could just feel the energy through the sound.
35:02People are going to think I'm insane.
35:07Just going to gently come back into the body.
35:10There you go.
35:11Sarah, that was unreal.
35:12I'm a new person.
35:14Ah, truly.
35:15I was reborn.
35:18All right, you're so welcome.
35:20You're welcome.
35:21My parents, like this is all they ever did.
35:24Like I grew up so spiritual and religious.
35:27You did?
35:28Yes.
35:28I went to church like five days a week.
35:30My family is in complete disarray.
35:33My dad's living by himself and he started deteriorating again slowly over the past few years.
35:38He fell, had another brain bleed I think.
35:39Make sure you talk to your dad as much as you can.
35:42I wish I could go back and talk to her more.
35:46Oh man.
35:47Yeah, I don't talk about it often.
35:49I had to physically watch my mom die in front of my eyes and that was very hard.
35:55I was like barely surviving.
35:57Wow.
35:59I'm still not okay and I still randomly cry often when I'm driving or at home before I go to
36:07sleep.
36:09I feel like we could use like a little, I don't know, like a little getaway, like a little like
36:14energy reset or something.
36:16You know, I'd love to go to San Diego.
36:18It's so beautiful, so clean, so family oriented.
36:22It's the best.
36:23Yeah.
36:24And low key, this is controversial, but I think their Mexican food is better than L.A.'s.
36:28Of course it is.
36:29The border is right there.
36:30Which, by the way, my high school was right next to the border so I could see the Mexican flag.
36:36Did you guys ever go to Tijuana?
36:37Always.
36:38I was going to TJ my junior year of high school, coming home at 4 a.m., going to the
36:43club.
36:44Wait, I want to hear Tijuana stories.
36:46Ugh, I have so many.
36:47Wait.
36:48Wait, okay.
36:50Can I ask you a personal question?
36:52Yeah.
36:53How's like your mojo?
36:55Mojo?
36:56Should my sex drive be higher?
36:58Like sex is the last thing on my mind.
37:00I love sex.
37:01I feel like, I don't know if this is right, but guys get older and they're less sexual and women
37:06get older and they get more sexual.
37:08Yeah.
37:09I mean, it gets boring after a while, but we'll figure it out.
37:13Nothing longer than 15 minutes.
37:15I don't want to just go out with somebody just to go out.
37:17Oh, I thought you meant like time-wise.
37:20Oh God, that's not what I was talking about.
37:22Not that I can't go the distance, but like after 15, you're like, come on, let's go.
37:27Oh, that's hilarious.
37:28Eat a bowl of Cheerios.
37:30What are you looking for?
37:31I am sad that I don't have a family right now, but I think I'll find it.
37:40I'm ready to probably put myself back out there.
37:44Well, anything I can do to help.
37:49Michelle's a catch.
37:50She's funny, successful.
37:53She already has a kid.
37:55All of a sudden I'm co-parenting with Jessie.
37:58I miss more the like affection and hugs and kisses.
38:03I love that stuff.
38:04I'm so excited on like the next time I get to kiss somebody.
38:07I don't know who that's going to be.
38:09You have my heart, don't let it go.
38:15Coming up.
38:16There's just a lot on my shoulders.
38:19Oh my gosh, babe.
38:20Focus on what's most important.
38:23All the love making on the calendar that I started putting together.
38:35Hey, cutie.
38:37It's bedtime.
38:38Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
38:39Oh, baby gorilla.
38:41Ooh, ooh, ooh.
38:44Hold on tight, baby gorilla.
38:46Daddy, help him up.
38:47Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
38:47Help him up.
38:48Be strong, gorilla.
38:51To the goose.
38:52All right, Asher.
38:53Hit me.
38:56I love you, buddy.
38:59We do probably have to change her to an arms out swaddle suit.
39:03How was your appointment?
39:04How was everything?
39:05Distracted me from all my emotions and hormones.
39:08I really like the doctor.
39:10He's done this over 3,000 times.
39:13For the procedure, you have to ejaculate 35 times before all the swimmer's out.
39:20Great.
39:21It is great.
39:22For you.
39:23For you.
39:25And then he said, I have to be bedridden for 10 days.
39:29Oh, my God.
39:29I can't pick up any of the kids.
39:31I can't help around the house.
39:33I would not exercise for about four or five days, five or six.
39:38You sit with some ice on your balls for like a few hours and you're fine.
39:41A few days.
39:42Liar.
39:42If a woman can have a C-section.
39:45Oh, my gosh.
39:46Cutting through seven layers of her body and walk around the same day,
39:49you'll be just fine with your balls.
39:50Women are stronger than men, okay?
39:52Yes, we are.
39:53Happy?
39:53I know.
39:54Absolutely.
39:54Yes.
39:56And I'm nervous.
39:57I haven't been making enough milk because I feel like she's not latching.
40:02I don't know.
40:03Yeah, today was the day, huh?
40:06Oh, it just makes me want to cry thinking about it.
40:07It took me over two hours to get home because I stopped for 15 minutes.
40:11She wouldn't nurse.
40:12Mm-hmm.
40:12She's crying.
40:13I'm crying.
40:14We're both crying.
40:15I'm sorry.
40:16Moving to Santa Clarita.
40:18While I love our home, I still feel a bit isolated and removed from my friends.
40:24For example, Kristen.
40:26I would love to be closer to her, especially as we are both experiencing this postpartum
40:30season.
40:31So, it can be hard at times.
40:33I've been stressed plenty in my life, but it feels like a whole nother level right
40:38now.
40:38Yeah.
40:39With the three toddlers who I want to give my all to.
40:42I have the newborn.
40:44I have to be present with her.
40:45Yeah.
40:45And it's completely new to me that my child is not taking a bottle.
40:50Yeah.
40:51My kids are, like, my world.
40:53Like, I know I signed up for it, and I love it, and I'm grateful.
40:57And then all these boxes.
40:58And then I'll be able to breathe.
41:01It's just life with four kids.
41:03My house is a mess, so now I'm exhausted.
41:05My nervous system is just dunzo.
41:07And then I have to, like, clean up before bed.
41:09It's just...
41:10It's a lot.
41:13And the girls have work, and then I have work.
41:15That's really stressful.
41:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:17I'm thinking about it.
41:18Like, I couldn't even say just close the door for four hours and leave me alone.
41:20Like, it's not possible.
41:23There's just a lot on my shoulders.
41:27My gosh, babe.
41:28Focus on what's most important.
41:31All the lovemaking on the calendar that I started putting together.
41:37Yeah.
41:43I got to do this as long as my arm that I'm never going to get to.
41:48It's just...
41:49It is what it is.
41:50But I think I'm just, like, on the verge of burnout.
41:55Daniel and I aren't really, like, attuned as much as I'd like us to be.
41:59I'm overwhelmed.
42:00I need help.
42:02And I'm kind of feeling like a failure.
42:05We are in honeymoon phase for our life.
42:09So much has changed, and nothing ever stays the same.
42:15No one to blame.
42:17But why could do this to me?
42:22Next time on The Valley.
42:24Here's to Kristen having sex tonight.
42:26Yay!
42:28I don't think me and Lala would be friends are hanging out.
42:30I take offense to that.
42:33Zachary, this is Brandon.
42:34I'm going to let you guys talk because I'm going to go get a drink.
42:36Oh, I mean, we don't have to talk right now.
42:38You called Danny a clown and a douche.
42:40If he had done to you what he did to me, he would not be my friend.
42:44She used to talk about .
42:45I don't think she talked about you at all.
42:47The show is so dumb.
42:48What are we talking about?
42:49You?
42:50Me?
42:53Just look at the top.
42:54I have one that we're able to hold myself.
42:54We'll take up your vinegar.
42:54That's what the lawn is for granted.
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