- 3 hours ago
Love story and Romantic
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:08What is this thing called love?
00:14This funny thing called love
00:19Just who can solve its mystery?
00:25Why should it make a fool of me?
00:34I saw you there that wonderful day
00:39You took my love and threw it away
00:45And so I ask the Lord in heaven above
00:51What is this thing called love?
01:01Called love
01:17Now turn around
01:19This way?
01:20It's close enough
01:21Now ride me
01:22Yeah, ride me
01:24Yeah, squeeze me
01:32What?
01:32My cock, squeeze it
01:35No, no, trust
01:36Not with your hands
01:37Squeeze from inside
01:41Oh, yeah
01:42Oh my God, don't stop
01:46Make a fist with it
01:47Yeah, honey, come on
01:48Squeeze that cunt
01:52Did you say cunt?
01:54What?
01:56Hey, hey, hey
01:58Hey, hey
02:00Hey, where'd you go?
02:04I don't care for that word
02:06Well, you don't have to
02:08It's just a word, it's not an elderly relative
02:11Come on
02:12Come back here
02:15I gotta go
02:17I have a 7am meeting I haven't prepared for yet
02:19You're leaving?
02:21You're kidding
02:22Aww
02:27You're upset
02:29I don't like my flower being referred to that way
02:33Flower?
02:34Yes
02:35Flower
02:36Not cunt
02:39It's just a word
02:40Did I actually offend you?
02:43It was a little
02:44Indelicate
02:48You mean dirty
02:50Okay
02:51Dirty
02:52You like dirty
02:53Yes
02:54But not filthy
02:57Can we talk about something else?
02:59No
02:59You know, someone's asked Woody Allen
03:02If sex is supposed to be dirty
03:04And he said only when it's done properly
03:07Yeah, you told me that when you tried to do that other thing
03:09That I didn't like last Sunday
03:11We got off
03:12Is that all you care about?
03:15No
03:17No
03:18No, I care about the polar bears and the death of the DVD
03:21And I care about lots of other stuff
03:25What?
03:26Michael, where are all these new ideas coming from?
03:29These strange ways to have sex?
03:31I'm a modern man
03:32I get pedicures
03:35Something's changed
03:38You've changed, sex is different
03:39If it's always the same, what's the point?
03:43Michael, are you having an affair?
03:53How could you even ask that?
04:02If you are, just tell me, okay?
04:05I don't want to be the last to know
04:24An unexpected event will soon bring you fortune
04:29Fate is all bullshit
04:31Things just happen
04:33There's no design unless you're rich or deluded
04:35And I highly recommend both
04:38I've had four great lovers in my life
04:42Five if I count myself
04:44Here's the thing
04:45Two were Oriental
04:47I know they're called Asians now
04:49But Oriental is more mysterious than Asian, don't you think?
04:53It has a kind of silk restraints, opium, den vibe
04:57Believe me, these two lovers were world-class mysterious
05:02I never knew their names
05:03I never knew what to expect
05:04Each of them came up with variations
05:08You know, modes, devices, false identities, rope
05:15Jesus, they were exciting
05:17No surprise there, these people invented gunpowder for fuck's sake
05:21God, I love rope
05:24Yes!
05:26Yes!
05:30Hold on!
05:32You little bitch!
05:37Coming through!
05:39Oh!
05:56That's the world record for multiple orgasms.
05:59You want me to Google it?
06:00No, I want you to Google me.
06:02Where'd you learn how to eat pussy like that?
06:04Online, Yodel University.
06:07Oh, you're amazing.
06:08Completely.
06:09Okay, well, enough talking.
06:10I want that cock in my ass.
06:11If you insist.
06:12Put the ball back in my mouth.
06:21Your husband?
06:23No, he's at rotator cuff surgery this morning.
06:31Pam?
06:33Pammy, are you in there?
06:35Come on, Pammy.
06:36Shit!
06:37It's Jocelyn!
06:38Fuck!
06:39Okay.
06:40Okay.
06:40Fuck!
06:41Fuck!
06:44Pam, I need to talk to you.
06:46Give it one.
06:48Pammy, are you in there?
06:50Coming!
06:51You're not coming.
06:52You're not coming.
06:53I'm coming.
06:54I'm coming.
06:58I'm coming.
06:59I'm coming.
07:00I'm coming.
07:00Did I interrupt something?
07:02Like what?
07:03You look a little flushed.
07:05We're going to tell you.
07:06I love life.
07:07What's up?
07:10I think Michael's having an affair.
07:13Oh, what?
07:14You should be talking to a private eye, not me.
07:16No, you're my sexual Yoda.
07:19Oh, sexual problem.
07:21The thrill has gone off.
07:23No.
07:24No.
07:25He's insatiable.
07:26Oh, really?
07:28What do you have in mind?
07:29A sister act?
07:32I was joking, Jaws.
07:34Well, does he smell different?
07:37You can always smell a woman on that man.
07:40Lately, he's been doing weird things during sex.
07:45Like what?
07:46Last night, he called my flower.
07:51The C word.
07:53Your flower.
07:55Are you a botanist?
07:57He's not himself, Pammy.
07:59I think he's getting all of this stuff from another woman.
08:02What if it's true?
08:03Then you either have to kill her or buy her a little gift.
08:10Jaws, for once in your life.
08:13Go with the flow.
08:15Go with the flow.
08:16Yeah, just go with the flow.
08:23Thanks, Pammy.
08:28I gotta go.
08:29Yeah, of course.
08:31Yes, go, go, go.
08:32Do your things.
08:33Do your things.
08:34Yep.
08:37Oh, I almost forgot.
08:38It's not a flower.
08:41It's a man-eating tiger.
08:47Bye.
08:51Luther.
08:55You serious about the sister act?
08:58Well, nothing's on the table.
09:03Family really is the backbone of society.
09:07Family really is the backbone of society.
09:17It must be Michael.
09:18And who are you?
09:20I am Isha.
09:21Come in.
09:25Where's Liz?
09:26She'll be here.
09:27I'm Isha.
09:28Hi.
09:30Whoa, what are you doing?
09:32We're preparing you.
09:33Don't worry.
09:34We'll guide you.
09:39Isha, Isha?
09:40Uh-huh.
09:44Welcome.
09:45What's the occasion?
09:47Two months of not hitting anybody.
09:50I thought I was coming over for some coffee.
09:52What's next?
09:55What isn't?
09:57What's next?
09:59There are many other times.
10:00Alright, let's go through the morning, but I'm tired.
10:05I'm still there for some coffee.
10:10I'll take you for a walk.
10:10I'llидle you out.
10:11I'm tired.
10:12I'm tired.
10:13I'm tired.
10:14I'm tired.
10:14I'm tired.
10:15I'm tired.
10:17I'm tired.
10:18I'm tired.
10:25I'm tired.
11:26I know.
11:26Well, it must have been Isha and Esha.
11:29You were overstimulated.
11:32Yeah.
11:33Yeah.
11:34Yeah.
11:35Yeah.
11:39So, tell me again about the rickshaw twins.
11:42They're all oiled up, shimmering in the candle glow, moving ever closer to your throbbing...
11:49Luther, for God's sake, I'm trying to tell you about my problem.
11:52Absolutely right.
11:54Mea culpa, mea culpa.
11:56Just give me a moment to complete the thought.
12:11All done.
12:13Now, where were we?
12:14I couldn't get it up with Liz.
12:16It's an aberration.
12:17Yeah, but what if it's not?
12:18Well, then you're fucked.
12:20All right.
12:21Let's get serious.
12:22Is there anything bothering you?
12:25Jocelyn.
12:26I think she may be on to me about Liz.
12:29Mm-hmm.
12:29Mm-hmm.
12:31Question.
12:32How are you doing with Jocelyn?
12:35Fine.
12:36Mm-hmm.
12:37And so, the plot thickens in one part of your life, but not the other.
12:42Hmm.
12:43Mm-hmm.
12:45Luther, would you stop?
12:47What do I do?
12:48One word.
12:50The Nubian.
12:55The Nubian?
12:56Desperate times.
12:58Desperate measures.
13:05Wait a second.
13:06Wait a second.
13:07You're telling me these two chicks are sliding up and down his person.
13:10And nothing?
13:12Flat tire.
13:14Well, you know, men are very sensitive creatures.
13:17Weary niggas.
13:19If something upsets us, it goes right to our homepage.
13:21See, you women think that you have the market cornered on feelings you do not.
13:26We are equally as vulnerable.
13:28Andrea Bocelli gives me chills.
13:30Puppies make me misty.
13:31Come on.
13:32Give me some help here, Preston.
13:34What do you do when you offer your game?
13:37I'll never hope my game.
13:38All right, two words.
13:40Visual stimulation.
13:43Hey.
13:49What are you doing?
13:50Just wanted to say hi.
13:51I was, um, going to make something to eat.
13:54You hungry?
13:55What do you have in mind?
13:57Let's see what's there.
14:23Hold that thought.
14:25Hold that thought.
14:48How's the resolution on the screen?
14:51Hi, Def?
14:52Oh, yeah.
14:54What's this?
15:06Yes.
15:09Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
15:24I gotta go.
15:25You gotta go?
15:28Bye.
15:34Summer, 2001.
15:36I'm watching Friends.
15:39In walks Jennifer Aniston.
15:41Nipples poking the cashmere.
15:43That's all it took.
15:44I broke up with my boyfriend.
15:46Never looked back.
15:48Hey, you come your way, I come mine.
16:01Hello.
16:03Luther sent me.
16:04Hi, I'm...
16:05No names.
16:06What the modern world calls us has no place here tonight.
16:10Okay.
16:11What are you drinking?
16:13Vodka.
16:13Oh, I prefer you not to drink.
16:16We need your senses.
16:17Vodka is alive and receptive.
16:21May I come in?
16:23Uh, yes.
16:30So, how can I help you?
16:32Well, I just can't seem to...
16:36Say no more.
16:38Have a seat, please.
16:53All you need to know is that I love the penises.
16:57I love the way they look.
16:59And how they feel.
17:01And now you must let me see.
17:07Oh, my God.
17:09It's even more extraordinary than what I thought.
17:13Oh, how did you love your cock?
17:15Well, we go way back.
17:16And it's so thick.
17:18Might be the light.
17:20I got halogens.
17:21No.
17:22I know everything about your cock.
17:24And it loves you.
17:26Say it for me, please.
17:28My cock loves me.
17:30Good.
17:31Gordon likes to hear you talk to it.
17:34Can you feel that energy?
17:36Can you feel that?
17:38Mm-hmm.
17:39Oh, yes.
17:43Oh, yes.
17:45Oh, yes.
17:58Oh, yes.
18:02Oh, yes.
18:05Oh, yes.
18:06Oh, yes.
18:07Come on, baby.
18:08Come on, baby.
18:09Come on, baby.
18:11Come on, baby.
18:11Yes, come on, baby.
18:13Yes, come on, baby.
18:14Come on, come on.
18:14Come on, come on.
18:15My cock loves me.
18:15My cock loves me.
18:16My cock loves me.
18:17My cock loves me.
18:18Come on, yes.
18:18Oh, yes.
18:19Breathe, breathe.
18:21Oh, yes.
18:22Come on, come on, come on, come on.
18:24Oh, yes.
18:25Come on, baby.
18:33This has never happened to me. I can't believe this.
18:39These things happen.
18:41Not to me.
18:47Hey. Will you be okay?
18:52I just need to be alone.
19:06Hey. The Nubian just called. I am beyond upset.
19:11I'll be okay, Luther. I'll get over this.
19:14It's not about you. She's devastated. She's quitting the business.
19:18Because of me?
19:19Couldn't you have just faked it? Michael minus the Nubian, I am out here without a safety net. Thank you
19:25very much.
19:31God.
19:37We need to talk.
19:41We do?
19:45You think I don't know, but I do.
19:50What are we talking about?
19:52You. The affair you're having. The way you're fucking me big time.
19:57Joss. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.
20:03Whoever could bring that out in you must be one fucking amazing woman. And I know exactly who she is.
20:13You do?
20:16You do?
20:17Me.
20:18You.
20:19You.
20:20You are fucking adorable.
20:29Is that a cock candle?
20:34Yes, yes it is.
20:37Don't tell me.
20:39Luther.
20:41Yes.
20:43Come here and give me the real thing.
20:45I'm gonna fuck you like you've been fucking me.
20:56So out of the blue it's back.
20:58Kudos.
20:59What else is cooking?
21:00Saul has been cooking.
21:01It's been a nightmare.
21:03Soft with Liz, suddenly I'm hard with Jocelyn.
21:05I didn't even mention this erection expert Luther sent me.
21:08The seven foot black chick.
21:11The Nubian.
21:12She can raise the dead.
21:14You know her?
21:14She got me through two really bad divorces.
21:17Little Vic was in a slump.
21:19Well it didn't work for me.
21:21Yeah?
21:22She gonna take that bad.
21:24Come on, let's get a beer.
21:26Ah.
21:34Hey Pop.
21:35You've had affairs, right?
21:37Huh?
21:38Why do you wanna know?
21:40Did that ever make you feel guilty?
21:42To the point where it killed your sex life?
21:46Nothing kills my sex life.
21:48You shoot me dead, my cock could just grow a new body and keep on going.
21:52It was a serious question.
21:53You probably just got some emotional thing blocking your cock.
21:57You know, like girls get.
21:59Thank you Pop.
22:00I feel much better now.
22:02Came by to get some insight from my father.
22:04He tells me I'm a girl.
22:06I'm gonna go.
22:06No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:08Stay, stay, stay.
22:10What's that, um, what do they call it in the military, uh, an exit strategy?
22:16You got an exit strategy from this affair with the cop?
22:20No.
22:20Well, there you have it.
22:22Have a watch.
22:22The reason your telescope works with Jaws and doesn't work with the cop.
22:27You're gonna love this.
22:28This is the kind of touchy-feely stuff that mental men like you adore, okay?
22:33With you and Liz, something important has happened.
22:37You're getting to know each other.
22:39Something real.
22:41If you don't have an exit strategy, then it's not an affair.
22:44And if it's not an affair, your cock is in over his head.
22:48So it's running for cover, like a scalded dog.
22:52You gotta remember, son, your cock is Einstein.
22:55You're just a chalkboard.
23:15Hey!
23:16Hey!
23:18Hey, counselor.
23:20What's going on?
23:22Abigail told me you were here.
23:23Oh?
23:25There's something I need to talk to you about.
23:27Yeah?
23:29It's bothering me that I couldn't...
23:32perform with you.
23:34It's like if I didn't bowl 300 every time, you'd find another alley or something.
23:39It's not like that.
23:42What is it like?
23:44I don't know.
23:44It's just...
23:45It's you and me.
23:47That's all.
23:48My body is just something to slip into when we want to take the top down and drive it back.
23:54You're not disappointed?
23:57Are you kidding?
23:58The way we've been going, I'm surprised I didn't break off.
24:00Maybe just bought us a little time.
24:05Hey.
24:09What are you so scared of?
24:11Same thing you are.
24:13Us.
24:14Then let's tell us to go away and we'll just spend time with you and me.
24:32Oh.
24:34There's your friend.
24:41Love the way you kiss.
24:43I scored big in the mouth to mouth at the academy.
24:50Did you ever think this was more than just an affair?
24:54I always did.
24:56What is it?
24:58It's the galaxy far, far away.
25:02Did they have erections there?
25:04Oh.
25:05Big ones.
25:06Yep.
25:07So as long as we're being honest.
25:10Yep.
25:12Don't ever use bowling alley metaphor again.
25:15It just cheapens everyone.
25:21Okay.
25:22Okay.
25:25Oh my God.
25:27Oh.
25:52Can you see.
25:54Oh my God.
26:10Okay.
26:12If you're still.
26:13Bye.
26:40Transcription by CastingWords
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