- 4 hours ago
Love story
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:08What is this thing called love?
00:14This funny thing called love
00:19Just who can solve its mystery?
00:27Why should it make a fool of me?
00:34I saw you there that wonderful day
00:38You took my love and threw it away
00:45And so I ask the Lord in heaven above
00:51What is this thing called love?
01:01Called love
01:16And so I ask the Lord in heaven above
01:44I ask the Lord in heaven above
01:46I ask the Lord in heaven above
02:12Michael Strathmore oh hi Josh oh yeah yeah I'm on my way
02:21little caught up might not get to the fundraiser on time but sir sir can you hear me cover your
02:29eyes
02:29I'm gonna get you out before you blow okay yeah no problem you get Joss I'd love to stay on
02:34and chat
02:35but I'm told I may blow
02:51hmm
02:53hmm
02:53hmm
02:54hmm
02:57hmm
02:59hmm
03:06Let's go.
03:29Can you breathe?
03:50You okay?
03:54Yeah, I'm okay.
03:55What's your name?
03:57Michael. Michael Strathmore.
03:59What happened?
04:01Some guy swerved in front of me and I jerked the wheel.
04:03You'd be lucky.
04:04It could have been a lot worse.
04:06No, no!
04:07It was in my car!
04:10It's a classic.
04:11Well, it's an ashtray now, sir.
04:14Well, maybe I could fix it up.
04:15I don't know.
04:16Some Bondo, a little bit of the work.
04:17Okay, well, let's take you over there.
04:23Let's go over there.
04:23Come here.
04:27Look out your head.
04:32Any pain?
04:33Pats?
04:34I'm okay, I guess.
04:38Officer Campano.
04:42You saved my life.
04:46Not a problem, sir.
04:48It's my job.
04:49I'm a professional.
04:50Looks like you did okay.
04:52Are we done?
04:54I get a beat of thing.
04:55She'll understand.
04:56If she doesn't, fuck her.
04:59Cops allowed to say fuck?
05:01Did I say fuck?
05:02Yeah.
05:04You want a ride in back or up here with me?
05:07This is good.
05:09Okay, let's go.
05:30You always drive so fast.
05:32You're barely moving.
05:35Looking at your speedometer, that's neither accurate nor descriptive.
05:39What are you?
05:41What do you mean?
05:42You talk like a robot.
05:43Why?
05:43Because I'm specific?
05:45I believe language should be used to maximize clarity.
05:49Maximize clarity?
05:50Yeah.
05:50You're a fucking lawyer.
05:52Great.
05:53You got something against lawyers?
05:54Long list.
05:55You needn't go into it now.
05:57Needn't?
05:58What, are you part of the royal family?
06:00It's correct English, which is probably why I'd rubbed you the wrong way.
06:03Meow.
06:04What is that?
06:07Is that a cat?
06:09No, it's a cow.
06:12What's a cat doing in your squad car?
06:14Is it a police cat?
06:15Is this just conversation or are you compiling evidence for your frivolous inevitable lawsuit?
06:20I like cats.
06:21What's his name?
06:23Pablo.
06:25He likes to go on rides.
06:27Lola, my neighbor, gave him to me.
06:30Lola?
06:31It's an exotic name.
06:33Lola's an artist.
06:35She slept with Picasso.
06:37Says she blew Freud.
06:38Who didn't?
06:43You blow the father of psychoanalysis and it haunts you for the rest of your life.
06:48There goes Lola Marquez.
06:50She blew Freud.
06:52Well, the upside is it gets you invited to a lot of parties.
07:05Yeah, that's, that's me.
07:08Must be nice driving around in a tuxedo, going to events, living in a house that cool.
07:15Yes and no.
07:16Great view, but I live alone.
07:20Get a llama.
07:21Maybe a tanning bed.
07:23Whatever you lonely rich guys fill your houses with.
07:28Are you going back on duty now?
07:30I'm not on duty.
07:31Why the uniform?
07:32Why the questions?
07:35You're, you're pretty defensive.
07:37Sometimes.
07:44When you were giving me mouth to mouth, can I be honest?
07:50I didn't really need it.
07:53I know.
08:02There's some window glass in your hair.
08:08I know.
08:30I know.
08:32Hello.
08:40What?
09:05Your rights remain silent. Anything you say will cost you.
09:15Look, I'm not saying my sister Liz is the easiest person in the world, but she's worth it.
09:21She also happens to be one of the sexiest women I've ever known.
09:25Sure, I'm partial to women, and the male genitalia basically revolt, terrify, and paralyze me.
09:31And sure, I think that men are at their best when they're picking up heavy things and moving them.
09:36Like pianos or their egos.
09:41But as a woman who knows women, I'll tell you, this chick knows stuff.
09:46I mean, I grew up with her and she always understood exactly how to get underneath another person's skin.
09:51And the way I hear it, no one sucks a cock like Liz.
10:02Shit!
10:05Oh!
10:06God!
10:09God!
10:17Fuck!
10:19Hair vendings pop open like little umbrellas.
10:26It tastes good.
10:28I can barely speak.
10:31You liked it?
10:32I am forever changed.
10:36Probably overdue.
10:42I should probably let you go now.
10:49Just being polite.
10:51Why don't you just say what you mean?
10:53You know what I mean.
10:54Say it.
10:57Flew a little too close to the sun, have you?
11:04Aren't you going to uncuff me?
11:06Yes.
11:07Now where are you going to put that key?
11:09Hey, very funny.
11:10You know, I do have a thing.
11:11Yeah?
11:12I have to get to...
11:14No!
11:15No!
11:22Oh.
11:28Oh.
11:32Oh!
11:35Oh!
11:39Oh!
11:42All right.
12:21You let it bruised.
12:22You should see my soul.
12:25I did that for a second.
12:29I'm gonna go.
12:35You look really amazing naked.
12:37I'm never naked.
12:38It just looks that way.
12:41You ever been in love?
12:43Are you trying to get to know me?
12:44Because I hate that.
12:46You still look naked.
12:51What about you?
12:52Have you ever been in love?
12:55I'm not a big love guy.
12:56I'm not surprised.
12:58You should try it sometime.
13:00It might take your mind off that dark void of your legal career.
13:04Don't you mean the trivia of my existence?
13:09One thing you're not, Michael, is trivial.
13:40Hey, Jess.
13:41Michael.
13:42Hey.
13:43Are you okay?
13:44I just saw a police car leaving.
13:48Yeah, I, uh, I flipped my car, Joss.
13:52I could have been killed.
13:54Luckily, this officer saved me and drove me home.
13:57Oh, my God.
14:00Are they, are they doing a thorough investigation?
14:03Yeah.
14:04They already started.
14:06Okay.
14:06Okay, good.
14:07Good.
14:11I'm just sorry you missed my speech.
14:14Introducing the governor.
14:16I bet you were awesome.
14:18I was.
14:22Your wrists are bruised.
14:24How did that happen?
14:33Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.
14:35A fucking cop?
14:37You're my hero.
14:38I always wanted to copulate the cop.
14:42So, what was it like?
14:43Details, details.
14:44Well, for starters, Luther, they don't have vaginas.
14:47They have holsters.
14:47Don't do this to me, Michael.
14:49I'm obsessed with women.
14:50I crave them.
14:51I love them.
14:52I require at least two per day.
14:53Three during daylight savings.
14:54My phenomenal sex life is none of your fucking business.
14:57My business is fucking.
14:58Mergers and acquisitions, one step up from sodomy.
15:02So, how'd you two meet?
15:03Was it violent?
15:04Did you get to ride in a squad car?
15:06Yes, if you must know.
15:07God.
15:08An intended man erect and speeding in a black and white.
15:12Sirens wailing on his way to be in flagrante delicta with Luther.
15:15What?
15:16Can we please talk about the trademark infringement suit now?
15:18Fine, fine.
15:22So, what'd you do about Jocelyn?
15:23It doesn't matter what it did about Jocelyn.
15:25Oh, yeah.
15:26You're right.
15:27What was I thinking?
15:28Just because your fiancé's father happens to be the founding partner of this law firm,
15:32what would it matter that you betrayed his only sane daughter in your coital frenzy?
15:37Okay, Luther.
15:38The cop leaves.
15:40My nightmare officially begins.
16:09Oh, yes.
16:27we are amazing
16:31god two in one night it's a dream come true
16:33no no it's it's not luther i
16:37i felt guilty i care about jocelyn
16:41we're talking about making a life together it's just this
16:45this other woman i can't explain it it's crazy
16:48well i apologize for my insensitivity
16:53thank you
16:56michael you said crazy that means clamps doesn't it
17:04why don't you just go out and get yourself a job in the porn industry
17:06you know someone
17:10hello lads morning mr delacorte
17:12missed you at the fundraiser last night
17:14jocelyn tells me that you were in a bit of a scrape
17:16say the least
17:17he was seriously tied up
17:23carry on
17:29thank you quip master
17:32it's what i do
17:39these are magnificent
17:42are you paying attention to anything here
17:45yeah sure i'm right with you
17:47i'm only doing this dinner party for you michael
17:49i mean for my father and snapple
17:54chantel
17:55it's hard to keep track
17:57what is she my seventh or eighth stepmom
18:00one thing we can say for your dad
18:02he should have thrown his hat in the ring
18:03did we shift right into let's get married sooner talk
18:06you're so dramatic
18:07no joss i know how you'd like to have everything so perfect
18:12my work i have to be precise
18:14the wrong armoire
18:16an ill-chosen pillow
18:18whole room suffers
18:20i'm not talking about your decorating business joss
18:22i'm talking about life
18:23well life's messy enough
18:25i don't have to add to the clutter
18:26who cares about clutter
18:27it doesn't
18:28it's just clutter
18:30michael
18:30where is this coming from
18:32it's coming from me
18:34no it isn't
18:35i've never seen this before
18:39is this your dark side
18:40it's my oxidized side
18:44i'm rusting
18:46you mean i'm boring you
18:49i can change that
18:50no joss it's not about us
18:53it's about me
18:54you want to know how i feel
18:55i feel too damn polite
18:57i feel premeditated
19:00it's a word they use to describe murders
19:02i'm trying to fucking tell you what's going on with me
19:06is any of this getting through to you
19:09of course
19:11and you didn't have to say fucking sweetie
19:16maybe it was my sixth divorce
19:18it scared mikey from ever getting close to a chick
19:21probably my fault
19:22i set a bad example for him
19:24since most of my wives were constructed as silicone and bubblegum
19:28fair enough
19:29i did give him one great piece of advice
19:31mikey i said
19:33follow your dick
19:35dick never lies
19:37at least not to you
19:38you don't follow your dick
19:39one day it falls off like a bad bonsai tree
19:42and you end up sucking bottled oxygen somewhere
19:45in rancho mirage
19:46wondering where all the good times went
19:49follow your dick
19:51it's got a perfect sense of direction
20:03how's your cappuccino
20:04oh it's fabulous
20:06what's this uh design in the phone here
20:09oh that's the shroud of turin
20:12any punk can make a tulip
20:15stop picking on my sister michael
20:16wait this is the guy you were telling me and lola about this morning
20:24what's that supposed to mean
20:25pen
20:26exit and import sign
20:33here
20:37where you going
20:38i got what i needed
20:40what now or last night
20:43i gotta go
20:44hold on
20:45no no come on
20:46i i came out here in the middle of my day to sign these papers for you
20:49at least
20:50have the courtesy to say goodbye
20:54goodbye
20:56officer campano
20:57hey
20:58how'd the hearing go this morning
21:00oh yeah
21:01million laughs
21:02they put me on probation
21:03the heavy money was on suspension
21:05you got ten lives though
21:08who's that
21:09oh i have no idea
21:10okay
21:12look just hurry back all right
21:14fighting crime is just civil service without you putting
21:21you have no idea
21:23oh i have plenty of ideas
21:24why'd they put you on probation
21:27it was absolutely nothing
21:28they put you on probation for absolutely nothing
21:31i didn't like the way i made a collar on a bad guy
21:34okay
21:38hey
21:39you're under arrest
21:41you're fucking kidding me
22:00you're a call for backup
22:10you chase after the guy in your squad car without your partner
22:13he was in the men's
22:15and then you subdued him with your baton
22:16look
22:17i get a little excitable but that scumbag had it coming
22:20you know what what's your point
22:22you need a lawyer
22:23i've had lawyers as recent as last night so
22:27have dinner with me
22:29why
22:30lunch
22:31yes
22:32brunch
22:32brunch
22:33we are done talking
22:39you like movies
22:40yeah what do you mean like something with vin diesel in it
22:45i never ask anybody anywhere but i'm asking you it starts in half an hour
22:53i've got meetings
22:55i've got meetings
22:55you always will
22:58all right
23:04i'm not asleep for you and me tonight
23:07new print
23:08i've never spoke to him
23:09they've added two missing scenes
23:12and it ends this whole turn
23:16it's her box
23:17that sicken at pretty words
23:23yes
23:25that is love
23:27i love beyond breath
23:29beyond reason
23:30beyond love's own power of love
23:32your name is like a golden bell hung in my heart
23:35and when i think of you i tremble
23:37and the bell swings and rings
23:43i love you
23:46yes
23:50yes
23:52that is love
23:54that is love
23:56that is love
23:57a wind of terrible and jealous beauty
23:59a star of fire
24:01look at you
24:02pour in blinding music
24:05you may take my habits to make me happily
24:08Even though you have an idea to do.
24:10You only love me here at some time.
24:13All alone.
24:22How many times every day.
24:26You make me crazy.
24:28Of course not.
24:37Excuse me?
24:38You'll have to leave.
24:40Police business!
24:41Shut that fucker off!
24:43Get lost, man!
24:45Go!
24:48You've got a great ass.
24:50You've got a great cock.
24:51No one ever said that before.
25:00Gotta handle that a little better.
25:02That usher.
25:05I'm serious.
25:07Maybe I should have filed a lawsuit.
25:10Calm down.
25:12Was that supposed to be?
25:15That was your problem.
25:18Hey!
25:19Hey, get back here.
25:24Just leave me alone.
25:26Just leave me alone.
25:28I gotta pee.
25:37You pissed me off.
25:40Oh, shit.
25:41I interest you.
25:43You don't know me.
25:44That makes two of us.
25:51Get out of my way.
25:53No.
25:53Oh.
25:56You shoved me now?
25:57I said get out of my way.
25:59You're out of control.
26:00What are you gonna do?
26:00You gonna pistol whip me now?
26:01What, you want handcuffs to do like last night?
26:03Stop it.
26:04Make me!
26:05Stop it.
26:10Oh!
26:17Over here.
26:18Oh!
26:25Oh!
26:27Oh!
26:29Oh!
26:30Oh!
26:31Oh!
26:33Oh!
26:34Oh!
26:34Oh, hold on.
26:38Ah!
26:40That was easy.
26:46No.
26:47No.
26:48No.
26:49No, no.
26:50No.
26:51No.
26:53No.
26:55No.
26:56My mom!
26:57No, no.
26:59No.
27:00No.
27:02No!
27:07No!
27:09No!
27:14No!
27:36This is too nuts for me.
27:39Me too.
27:47Liz!
28:21This is too nuts for me.
28:45This is too nuts for me.
29:26This is too nuts for me.
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