- 3 hours ago
Love story
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:08What is this thing called love?
00:14This funny thing called love
00:19Just who can solve its mystery?
00:25Why should it make a fool of me?
00:34I saw you there that wonderful day
00:38You took my love and threw it away
00:45And so I ask the Lord in heaven above
00:51What is this thing called love?
01:01Called love
01:17Oh God, where on earth did you get this magnificent thing?
01:21Vacationing in Hanoi, an antique shop owned by Madame Wang of old things
01:29She was a German erotica buff and a hunchback actually
01:35She brought out this joy fuck tub and we cut a deal over a pipe load of ties
01:39I can feel my soul melting
01:41Spin me faster
01:47One more, one more
02:03Luther, I'm in love with you, it's been fucked you
02:05Pemi, you are an epicure of ribald rotation
02:10You talk the way a cock would have had a degree in English lit
02:15You're not a fizz in your drink, don't you?
02:17I love having sex with you, it's like ice cream and zebras
02:22You know who would love this thing?
02:24Michael and a squeeze
02:25You mean Jocelyn?
02:26She just might
02:27No, not my sister
02:29You know his squeeze
02:30His squeeze
02:34You wouldn't tell Jocelyn anything
02:36I mean, she's engaged to Michael
02:39Oh Luther, I'm having an affair with you and I'm married
02:43Oh my god, you are?
02:48Oh, don't you think if I said something it would get us in hot water, Mr. Big Bad Luther?
02:54I guess it would
02:56Alright, little shit, I'm ready to go for another spin
02:59Let's go!
03:00Luther!
03:02Spin it!
03:03Oh!
03:04Oh!
03:09You're making way too much of this, can we just drop it?
03:13Fine, dropped
03:14Okay, not that fast
03:16Jocelyn, if you want to come, you should
03:18I'm not saying that, I'm just saying you're driving to Santa Barbara
03:22Spend the damn night
03:23Oh, you said damn, that means you want to come
03:26Emotional emphasis, dead giveaway
03:29I can't go
03:30I have an 8 a.m. breakfast meeting tomorrow
03:33Problem solved
03:37Oh, such a nice view from up here
03:41You know, you could almost see your future if you had a big enough telescope
03:46What does that even mean?
03:49Well, think about it
03:50Do I have to?
03:52Oh, fuck!
03:53Oh!
03:54Fuck!
03:55Okay, okay, let me help
04:03I'm just nervous
04:05I want this meeting to go well in Santa Barbara
04:09It'll go perfectly
04:11You'll be there
04:12I have to talk to your dad in the conference room
04:16Okay, I'll walk you to class
04:21Hold on, Grace
04:22I'd have got here sooner
04:24But I had to play a hide-and-seek with the highway patrol all the way from Laguna
04:27Good job
04:29Will you look at this face?
04:31What's in the box, Pop?
04:33Magic from the Wizard
04:35A bomber jacket?
04:36We expecting air raids?
04:38Fucking comedian
04:39It's got the new company logo on it
04:41Put it on, come on
04:42People love that evil shit all over their clothes
04:44The Lucifer thing is hotter than ever
04:47I just ran in Forbes that Lucky Devil is the number one oil additive in the western states
04:52Life
04:53It's all about lubrication
04:57Son
04:58We're having a conversation here?
05:00It's called work, Pop
05:01Highly overrated
05:02My credo, invent shit, live off it, have fun
05:05You left out vodka as a food group
05:08I can't talk right now
05:10I gotta go meet Mr. Delacorte in the conference room
05:12Oh, I'll drop you and say hello
05:19Well, what a surprise
05:21Victor, hello
05:23How they hangin', Artie?
05:24Well, perhaps to everyone's relief, they keep that to themselves
05:28Ready for lunch, sweetheart?
05:30Artie
05:31You're talking to me, right?
05:36Just busting your silent balls
05:38Uh, Dad
05:39Look at Vic's new logo
05:42Ah, Mephistopheles
05:44Mephistopheles
05:45It's Satan
05:45Exquisite
05:46Yeah
05:47Hey, Michael
05:49Give me your jacket
05:50I'll get you another one
05:50Oh, no, no
05:51Uh, look
05:52Victor
05:53Uh
05:54You gotta try this
05:55Come on
05:56Oh, no
06:01Yeah
06:02You look like bad people, Artie
06:05I do feel a bit rowdy
06:07Uh, listen
06:09Um
06:09If you'll excuse us
06:10I have to have a moment alone with Michael
06:13Life's a barber shop
06:14Next
06:15Call me
06:17Call me
06:45Get your hands off my fucking jacket
07:01Michael Strathmore
07:03I'm mentally addressing you
07:05I'm mentally addressing you
07:05Who is this?
07:07Dr. Feelgood
07:08Where are you?
07:09Home
07:10I got suspended
07:11Again?
07:12For what?
07:12Being myself
07:13I told you not to do that
07:16Busy?
07:17On my way to Santa Barbara
07:19For a business meeting
07:20Must be nice to have plans
07:22Places to go
07:23Things to do
07:24It is
07:25You should try it
07:26You ever been to Santa Barbara?
07:28Is this a survey
07:29Or an invitation?
07:30An invitation
07:31Let me think about it
07:33Okay
07:34I'll be there in 15 minutes
07:36Are we spending the night?
07:37Yeah
07:37You man enough?
07:38Yeah
07:39Bring a nice dress
07:41Tankers?
07:42Absolutely
07:44Lucky devil I am
07:46You hold it up to your car engine
07:48And it tells you whether or not you need oil
07:52It's another 10 million
07:53Keep this tub afloat for about another month
07:57You know the great thing about living on a boat?
08:00You're always in the same place
08:01Even when you're somewhere else
08:04My first wife used to like to take vacations together
08:06It's a bad fucking idea
08:08You go somewhere together
08:10It makes it look like you're unavailable
08:13Knocks the crap out of your opportunities
08:16Anyway, women always want to take too much stuff
08:19I say travel like
08:21Bag of condoms and a ball
08:24Love the gloves
08:26They're driving gloves
08:27Unborn calf skin from Dusseldorf
08:30They come with an eyepatch and a whip
08:32Uh-huh
08:33Thanks for the jailbreak, Clint
08:34I thought about us going away together, you know
08:37At some point
08:38Oh yeah, what snapped you?
08:39Voracious guilt?
08:40No, no, not voracious
08:43Just constantly
08:46Take me back
08:57All I know is some new guy swung by
08:59And took her to Santa Barbara
09:02And she took a dress
09:03What kind?
09:05Summary
09:05Have they ever been together for more than just enough time
09:08To have an orgasm and a bicker?
09:11Or is it bicker and have an orgasm?
09:13No and no
09:14This has the makings of a real bloodbath
09:18Proximity kills
09:19You never know
09:20Maybe this one will go the distance
09:21Like that weekend I hid out with Sinatra
09:24With Liz, things never go the distance
09:26She had a boyfriend
09:27That guy Highway
09:29That's a distance
09:30She dated him for an hour and a half
09:32And even that was tense
09:33They all end with her
09:34They have to
09:35Why?
09:36Because
09:38Sorry, I can't tell you
09:39I swore
09:40It's a secret
09:43Interesting
09:58I'm gonna get a soda
09:59You want something?
10:00Oh yeah
10:01Grab me one of those double expresso
10:02Stroking a can things
10:03Gotta take a leak
10:05Okay
10:24Come in
10:25If women's is locked
10:25I couldn't wait
10:27Women's room was open
10:30I saw
10:31I lied
10:36Checking my contraband, Homeland Security.
11:03It's okay.
11:58Oh, my God.
12:20I always wanted to stay here.
12:21Yeah, well, now's your chance.
12:24What about your voracious guilt?
12:26It'll be waiting for me back in L.A.
12:28You want to use the room to freshen up?
12:30And wash you off me?
12:31I love the way I smell after we fuck.
12:36I'll leave a key for you at the desk.
12:38We should be done around 5, 5.30.
12:40What are you going to do?
12:41Walk around.
12:43See if Oprah is in town.
12:57Strathmore, Mr. Whitlock, good to see you again.
13:01Arthur sends his apologies.
13:02Not a problem.
13:03So, Tony Pope, what are we looking at?
13:06110 pounds of pure, unmitigated testicle chomping.
13:11Arthur tells me she flew in in her G5 two years ago from Ketchum and started writing checks.
13:16First one was for 40 million for the Chamber Ranch, and she hasn't put down her pen since.
13:20Why does she want your newspaper so bad?
13:22Because she doesn't have it.
13:23And we haven't been particularly kind.
13:25Actually, you've been cocksuckers.
13:27Don't go back, Tony.
13:29Say hello to Michael Strathmore.
13:31Why?
13:33Because I'm representing him.
13:35Where's Arthur Delacorte?
13:36He's hiding.
13:37You scared him.
13:39He sends his regrets.
13:40He told me to handle this.
13:42This?
13:42Or me?
13:43He wasn't specific.
13:45Should we go out to my suite?
13:46For what?
13:47I'd rather not be specific.
13:56It's easy being venerable.
13:59People expect you to be sophisticated and diplomatic.
14:05Sage.
14:07I hate that shit.
14:09I used to be a great white.
14:11People dreaded me.
14:12They ran for the beach screaming.
14:14I mean, back then someone asked me, how can you live with yourself?
14:21So I divorced her.
14:24Those were great times.
14:28Now I've got all the accoutrements.
14:30I've got the distinguished hair.
14:32I've got the bespoke suits.
14:37And alcoholism.
14:40It's a fucking American dream.
14:55Mr. Whitlock's never going to let you change the name of his newspaper.
14:58He's been in the Whitlock family for generations.
15:00Well, it bores my ass off.
15:02And what does he care about tradition?
15:03He doesn't even wear socks.
15:05I think you're misjudging him.
15:06I don't misjudge men.
15:07I know exactly who Donnie is.
15:10I know who you are, too, Michael Strathmore.
15:12Who am I?
15:13Someone who doesn't know what he's got going for him.
15:16Who's confused.
15:18Who's trying to figure out his next move.
15:21How much do I owe you for the session?
15:22Take it out of your first week's pay.
15:25Come work for me.
15:27I'm happy where I am.
15:28Say that again.
15:30But this time, be convincing.
15:36What's it going to be, Tony?
15:38The name change is never going to fly.
15:40It's a sentimental issue with the Whitlocks.
15:42Sentimental.
15:43The Whitlocks have battery acid in their veins.
15:48Add another million.
15:49That offer is good for one more hour.
15:52I will convey that to my client.
15:54And one more thing.
16:02That was way out of line.
16:04Yeah, I know.
16:07That was way out of line.
16:44Who does your box?
16:47I do.
16:48I pay a Jamaican man 300 bucks.
16:50But I like yours better.
16:52I hear that a lot.
16:54Anyway,
16:56I'm doing business with this guy
16:59that I just really want to fuck.
17:01So fuck him.
17:04Did you see that movie Black Swan?
17:07What did you think about the girl-girl stuff?
17:10I think it could have been better.
17:12Really?
17:14How?
17:18Are you here alone?
17:19I'm here with someone.
17:21That is a shame.
17:23Because I would really like to taste that pussy.
17:27Rain check.
17:28No offense.
17:29Oh, no, I'm taken.
17:30I'm here negotiating this deal,
17:32and it always makes me horny.
17:35What about you?
17:36What makes you horny?
17:38Everything.
17:41One more glass, please.
17:43Hope you don't mind.
17:44I have a friend joining us.
17:48Tony Pope.
17:49On behalf of the Whitlock family,
17:51may I say this deal has been ugly and degrading.
17:54But your generous new offer
17:56has made it all better.
18:00Use some money to improve yourself, Donnie.
18:03Buy some socks.
18:19Don Whitlock,
18:20Tony Pope,
18:21this is Liz.
18:22Nice to meet you.
18:23Nice to meet you.
18:24Same here.
18:27So what is it that you do, Liz?
18:29Are you a model?
18:30Actor?
18:31Cop.
18:32Interesting.
18:34Dangerous job.
18:36I had some cliches.
18:41Ah,
18:42it's worked out great.
18:43My boss is going to be thrilled.
18:45I have a feeling she looks great naked.
18:48Really?
18:49Yeah.
18:50I've got instincts about people.
18:52She's a street fighter.
18:54I think she'd be fun to hang out with.
18:56Tony Pope does not have fun.
18:57Tony Pope wins
18:58and then executes her prisoners.
19:00Such a smart guy.
19:01You know shit about people.
19:04Okay.
19:05What's that supposed to mean?
19:08Nothing.
19:09Wow.
19:09Well, this is the first time I've seen you afraid to speak your mind.
19:12Well, I'm never afraid to speak my mind.
19:14I'm just afraid that you won't be able to handle it.
19:17Try me.
19:19I was kidding.
19:20I just got suspended for following my instincts and speaking my mind.
19:25You know what?
19:26You're playing games with me.
19:28You want to know what's on my mind?
19:30Come here.
19:31I'll tell you what's on my mind.
19:34You've been talking about what a barcuda this Tony Pope is.
19:37What tough customer.
19:39You know who gives me the creeps?
19:40Your guy Woodlock.
19:42That's a bullshit artist.
19:44No, you're wrong.
19:45I know this guy.
19:45You just think you do.
19:47Thank you for this primer on the art of human relations.
19:50Now, if I don't seem entirely grateful, you'll have to excuse me.
19:54Let me tell you what I think.
19:55I think that you've been on the streets a little too long.
19:59And everyone's a perp.
20:02Come on, we've got an hour and a half drive ahead of us.
20:12Do you think that mind if I take this rope?
20:18Oh, what about the shaving mirror in the bathroom?
20:20I'd screw it from the wall.
20:25Oh, that will look great in my bedroom.
20:26Come on, let me lift it.
20:37Yeah, Luther.
20:40Deal is done.
20:43Whitlock's walking away with an extra million.
20:49What?
20:55Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
21:06Whitlock fucked us.
21:08Tony was just his stalking horse.
21:13He used her to juice up her offer,
21:14and then he sold it half an hour later
21:16to somebody he already had lined up.
21:18Delacorte just fired his ass as a client.
21:20Motherfucker!
21:30What are you going to do now?
21:32Go over and beat the living shit out of him.
21:34You want my gun?
21:40Hey.
21:42Thanks.
21:43For what?
21:44For not saying...
21:48How did you know?
21:56I have feelings about things.
22:08So dang.
22:14So dang.
22:22How did you know?
22:23How did you know?
22:24He chose a witch.
22:26So dang.
22:34He chose a witch.
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