- 4 hours ago
Love story
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:08What is this thing called love?
00:14This funny thing called love
00:19Just who can solve its mystery?
00:25Why should it make a fool of me?
00:34I saw you there that wonderful day
00:38You took my love and threw it away
00:45And so I ask the Lord in heaven above
00:51What is this thing called love?
01:01Called love
01:04Love
01:14Where is this way
01:15When you are headed
01:15By you
01:15Love
01:16Lucky
01:16Nice
01:16Put a shield
01:16You want to ?
01:16Oh, my God.
01:54Oh, my God.
02:00Fuck.
02:01Fuck.
02:02What?
02:02What?
02:03Fuck.
02:04What?
02:05Fuck!
02:10Fuck!
02:16Happy birthday.
02:33Surprise!
02:37I'm not surprised you told me about it, Dad.
02:39Fuck it.
02:40I'm surprised anyway.
02:41Go enjoy your friends.
02:43Power.
02:43Hey!
02:45Oh, thank you.
02:46Thank you so much.
02:47Why are you so late?
02:48Long story.
02:50I have to leave for San Francisco in a few minutes.
02:52On my birthday?
02:53I told you.
02:54I'm doing that boutique hotel in the Embarcadero.
02:56Oh, yeah.
02:57Right.
02:57And we agreed we'd celebrate when I give you...
03:00I have to steal the birthday boy.
03:02Just give us a minute, Luther.
03:05I'll see you tomorrow.
03:06Mmm.
03:07Mmm.
03:10Mmm.
03:14Mmm.
03:14Mmm.
03:15You're gonna make me shiver.
03:16Mmm.
03:16Love you.
03:17Love you, too.
03:19Follow me.
03:21May I say I have never seen you dressed more ludicrously.
03:24It's Jay-Z.
03:26Of the Jay-Z collection.
03:27Oh, of course.
03:29I forgot about your close ties to the hip-hop world.
03:33What?
03:33Your birthday gift.
03:35Open it.
03:37It's a DVD I made for you.
03:39Of which?
03:40I am the star.
03:41No, the co-star.
03:42With a Miss, um...
03:44Pemi Denikort.
03:46Joss's sister.
03:48You made a DVD of you fucking Jocelyn's married sister.
03:52Daughter of the man who employs both you and me.
03:54Well, it was her idea.
03:56Oh, it was not.
03:56Twice, yes.
03:57And some of my finest work, if I do say so myself.
04:02Oh, Michael.
04:04You have no sense of the absurd.
04:06If I did, I'd be dressed like you.
04:09Last chance.
04:11All right.
04:11Pemi's a wild one, Michael.
04:14It's no picnic looking like this.
04:16Or being so gifted in bed.
04:20It's intimidating.
04:22I scare the crap out of my husband, Seth.
04:25I mean, we do stuff sometimes.
04:29If you call me licking his balls while he twings his pop sticker stuff.
04:36Snore.
04:37Oh.
04:40A lot of people think prison changed me, but I think it was just another place to make close friends
04:46and expand my horizons.
04:49If you catch my drift.
04:53Even though I'm on parole, Seth is thrilled to have me back.
05:00Luther, no Luther.
05:03Oh, I still miss my soulmate Georgia.
05:05For a woman who took a baseball bat to her husband's kneecaps, she sure had a tender fucking touch.
05:15Michael, meet Suze and Yasmine.
05:20They're contortionists.
05:22They defy the laws of physics.
05:24Their bodies are like a circus of nasty hinges.
05:30I bend where other women snap.
05:34And I can lick my own boba.
05:38You're like Caligula.
05:47Hello, boys.
05:49What seems to be the trouble?
05:52Watch him get a burn.
05:57We may have to check him into a burn ward and have him legally declared a pizza.
06:05Ooh, it looks bad, Mikey.
06:10Would it be too much to ask you to throw something on?
06:14Mom?
06:15Vic, did you hear?
06:16He called me Mom.
06:18I heard, I heard.
06:19Listen, sweetheart, why don't you go up top?
06:21I think Captain Lou's gonna let you steer.
06:28She knows I'm kidding, right?
06:31Yeah, I don't know.
06:33Chantelle has some very strong maternal instincts.
06:36Yeah, huge.
06:38Oh!
06:40Sunburn.
06:44When's the last time we had fun like this?
06:47Your third wedding.
06:48No, wait, your fourth, to Maureen.
06:51Maureen. God, she never shut up.
06:53No, Dad, that was Jerry.
06:54Maureen was the shy redhead who checked into the Beverly Hills Hotel and took 50 Vicodin for dinner.
07:00I thought that was Dorothy.
07:02I'm a beginner to lose track. I think I kind of like that.
07:05There's something, Pop.
07:08I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
07:10You're a lawyer, son.
07:12Is that how you see me?
07:13The way I see you, son, is I don't see you enough.
07:18Got you, son.
07:19Happy birthday.
07:27Oh, I love it, Pop.
07:29Said you wanted to quit the law and go sailing around the world.
07:33Pop on.
07:35Happy birthday, son.
07:37Your soul that came below.
07:42Yeah.
07:51Michael!
07:52They call this one...
07:56Opening Night.
08:00This one is called the Grand Coulee Dam.
08:03Well done, girls.
08:04Big finish, Michael.
08:06This one's called...
08:07Here, Pussy Pussy.
08:09It's a play on words.
08:11Step back, Michael.
08:12This one gets a little messy.
08:14Okay.
08:31Liz.
08:32Michael.
08:34How did you get in?
08:35I'm a cop.
08:36I broke in.
08:37What's going on?
08:39We had some unfinished business from this morning.
08:43Smells good.
08:44What you got in here?
08:45I picked up some Chinese on the way.
08:49These are all empty.
08:50I didn't get it for you.
08:53I got it for me.
08:54So you just came over to eat and fuck?
08:56Pretty much.
08:57How can you live with yourself?
08:59How can you live with yourself?
08:59You are so fucking selfish.
09:01Practice.
09:10A little sunburn.
09:17I got it.
09:30I got it.
09:33I got it.
09:38What you got here.
09:41You're so fucking quiet.
09:42Oh, I got you.
09:53Oh, my God.
10:24So, what did your girlfriend get you for her birthday?
10:29I think she's getting me a Mimi.
10:32She's taking me to his gallery tomorrow night.
10:34The video artist?
10:36You know about him?
10:37Mimi, yeah, he's huge.
10:39I studied him in art history.
10:44That look.
10:45Is it because I know who Mimi is or because I went to college?
10:48You just keep surprising me. That's all.
10:52I was even surprised you remembered my birthday.
10:54Are you being sarcastic?
10:56No.
10:57What did you want me to do? Make a bigger deal out of your birthday? Maybe get you a present?
11:01A text message would have been plenty.
11:03Dictated to me. How about that?
11:05This is what I always expect and so far this is what I always get from you.
11:10Spectacular sex followed by a ridiculous argument that you start and then you exit.
11:15Well, who am I to disappoint?
11:22So, picture this. Jackson Pollock and I are dropping acid naked in Miles Davis' Place in Sad Harbor.
11:30He was painting my tits. He had the most marvelous heart on.
11:34Then suddenly he's spinning around splashing paint all over the floor and walls.
11:39Next thing you know, we got abstract art in America.
11:43You never know where genius comes from.
11:46Sometimes it looks like a mess.
11:49Then somebody comes along and gets it.
12:11How is it pronounced?
12:14Furthermore, how quickly?
12:15I mean, is it pronounced me-me or me-me?
12:20Stop it, Lou.
12:22Query.
12:23Is his first name me and his last name me or his first name me-me, in which case the
12:28only possibility for his last name would be, I'm a pretentious arsehole.
12:34Oh, Jocelyn wants to buy me one for my birthday.
12:37I saw peace on him on CNN.
12:40She remembered.
12:42Oh!
12:43God, everything I do becomes a clue for her.
12:46Well, she's starved for details, Michael.
12:49Just make shit up.
12:51Sincerity just complicates things.
12:54Yeah, it does.
12:57Actually, I like him.
13:00He's engaging in a, you know, I hope you all choke to death in front of your loved ones kind
13:05of way.
13:08Having fun?
13:09Hey.
13:09Hi.
13:12So I was just talking to one of my clients, Ronnie Decker.
13:14He's the racehorse sperm broker.
13:17I'd like to get his number.
13:18I'll make a little cash on the side.
13:20I'm up to my ears.
13:21You know, it looks real.
13:23Like he actually might live in there.
13:26Yes, well, maybe he'll decide to stay.
13:30Michael, which one do you like best?
13:31The one where Mimi sneers irritably or the one where he glares dismissively?
13:39Mimi doesn't glare.
13:41And Mimi doesn't sneer.
13:43That is all in your mind, sir.
13:45You see what you see, not what is.
13:47How very slavish and painful for you.
13:49Well, my mistake.
13:50By the way, what happened to the dis-segment of the word?
13:54I thought it was distortions.
13:55Only to those imprisoned in the literal.
13:58I assume you're not an art fan, too.
14:00Actually, I love all kinds of art.
14:03Have you seen any around here tonight?
14:05Okay, Luther.
14:06Time to get some air.
14:07You, sir, are aesthetically embalmed.
14:09Perhaps I should invite you to leave my...
14:12Stortions show as clearly it is well beyond your realm of comprehension.
14:15Or, maybe you should kiss my arse, me.
14:20Oh, I hope that thought didn't turb you too much.
14:22Get up.
14:23Okay, okay, hey, hey.
14:24Hey, come on.
14:32I told you to get the fuck out of here.
14:35Fuck you!
14:36Oh, yeah?
14:37Fuck me!
14:38Fuck you!
14:40Call the mortuary, Michael!
14:41This pussy's gonna need a box!
14:45911 emergency call at Station 1 Gallery, the Mimi exhibit.
14:49Probably ran out of foie gras.
14:51Let somebody else take it.
14:53I don't know.
14:55This one I want.
14:57Hey, Luther!
14:58Come on!
14:59Guys, come on!
15:01Jesus!
15:01Oh, you break it!
15:02I break it!
15:03I'll break it!
15:04Joss!
15:05Fuck off!
15:08That's my friend Jocelyn, you revolting turd!
15:11Blow me!
15:12Jesus Christ, man!
15:13Okay, I'm gonna get you some ice, okay?
15:15Hey, hey, hey.
15:16Stay put.
15:17All right?
15:17Stay put.
15:18Okay, okay, okay.
15:18Let's all be friends here, all right?
15:20That micro-crossed started everything!
15:22I am an attorney, and I want to press charges against this pretender!
15:27All right, for what?
15:28For impersonating a human being!
15:30Oh, and for knocking my friend down!
15:32Jesus!
15:33He's leaving!
15:34We'll stay.
15:35You, we'll have to come back!
15:36Now, why don't you come with me to the squad car, okay?
15:39So we can have a look at that.
15:41We're gonna have to give a statement.
15:42Come on.
15:43It's okay.
15:44It's okay.
15:50I don't know why I'm so emotional.
15:52I'm not a person who does this.
15:54Okay?
15:54You know, I know who I am.
15:55If I didn't, I couldn't say that, right?
15:58Well, you got sucked pretty good.
16:00If this makes an assault and battery, would you like to press charges?
16:03I just want to make him happy.
16:04Who, the guy who punched you?
16:06You see people in messes every day.
16:08You know, you, you wear a gun to work.
16:12I have to ask you, how do you make a man happy?
16:17Look, you got pretty shook up, okay?
16:18I don't, I don't think he even wanted a Mimi to begin with.
16:21I, it's what I thought he wanted, you know?
16:24And I'm, I'm projecting, I'm always projecting.
16:26What he wants, I have no idea.
16:30Man, woman, two different animals.
16:33You're so right.
16:34Sleeping with an enemy.
16:36Exactly.
16:38That is dead on.
16:42It's fellatio, isn't it?
16:44It's, it's blowjobs, hummers, they love that.
16:47They live for that, that, that tongue driving the happy tour bus up Ego Mountain.
16:52Joss, what are you doing in here?
16:53I couldn't find you.
16:54I'm talking to the officer.
16:57Hi.
16:58Hello.
16:59Do you know this woman?
17:02Know me.
17:04This is my man.
17:06She was just giving me some advice.
17:08She's very kind.
17:10Extremely wise.
17:13That's great, Joss.
17:14Hey.
17:15Officer, may I speak to you for a moment?
17:17I'm busy.
17:18Please.
17:19Joss, use the ice.
17:20I'll, uh, be right back.
17:22Okay?
17:29Okay.
17:30So what exactly were you gals discussing?
17:33Extremely wise one.
17:34Me?
17:35You're insane.
17:37Get a blood flush.
17:39Move to another town as another person because this version isn't working for anyone.
17:43And for your information, I didn't ask her anything.
17:46She did all the asking.
17:47What exactly did she ask you about?
17:49You want to know?
17:50Are you sure you can handle it?
17:52Yes, I can handle it.
17:54Well, as I recall, we were discussing blowjobs.
17:57You were so full of shit.
17:58You're just trying to piss me off because you're pissed off.
18:01Well, she referred to it as driving the Happy Town tour bus up Eagle Mountain.
18:06Oh, my God.
18:07I told her never to say that.
18:10Oh, my.
18:13What did you say?
18:14I told her she should try sucking your dick in your kitchen.
18:18What?
18:19Get over yourself, Michael.
18:20Because everyone else has.
18:25Fuck.
18:46Detective Judd Cutter.
18:48Elusive crime fighter.
18:50I meant to call you.
18:51Been on this big murder investigation.
18:53It's a real mess.
18:55You could always use bad things to your advantage.
18:57See, don't do that.
18:58You don't do wounded convincingly.
19:02You still got a dead eye.
19:04Girls got to protect yourself.
19:05I always suspected you were a girl under all those ferocious layers.
19:10You still have those things in your bedroom ceiling, those little stars that glow in the dark.
19:14Your divorce go through?
19:15I signed the papers last week.
19:17She's moving to Tucson.
19:18Continue her obsession with becoming perfect at the expense of everyone else.
19:25You know, you and I should get a drink sometime.
19:33No.
19:35God, are you monster?
19:39Oh, God, you're huge.
19:42Let me go, you sexual maniac.
19:45Full moon.
19:47Your insults only arouse me further.
19:53Oh, deeply, massively hungry.
20:08Luther.
20:09Michael, hello.
20:11What a nice surprise.
20:13You're working late.
20:14Yes.
20:15Do you mind?
20:16What the fuck is going on here?
20:18Oh, it's our monthly full moon frenzy.
20:21I play the insatiable text twang and escaped sexual madmen.
20:25And these two are recently graduated parochial students.
20:29There's an extra cock ring over there.
20:31Join us.
20:31You have a backup cock ring.
20:33What if one pops?
20:36Goodbye.
20:38Every man must have his spare.
20:41Action.
20:42Action.
21:02Hey.
21:03How did you get past lobby security?
21:05I shot the security guard, so I only have a couple of minutes.
21:09What's that?
21:11Take it.
21:15Peace offering?
21:17Face is overrated.
21:18I'll tell Gandhi we spoke.
21:21I gotta go.
21:22I'm on duty.
21:23Wait, wait, wait.
21:25What?
21:27You didn't have to do this.
21:28Yeah, I did.
21:29See ya.
21:32See ya.
21:40I don't know.
22:16You painted that?
22:17Yeah.
22:18I try to have it ready for your birthday.
22:20I just...
22:21Beautiful.
22:24I had no idea you were such a...
22:27I didn't know you could paint.
22:30You don't really know me.
22:31But I want to.
22:53No one in my whole life ever made something for me.
22:56Crazy night we met.
22:59I just couldn't get it out of my head.
23:04Come over after you get off.
23:07I can't.
23:09I have plans.
23:11Plans?
23:12I have a life, Michael.
23:24Happy birthday.
23:26You never know what the hell is up with anyone, man.
23:29I mean, anyone.
23:31It was this girl I dated a few years before I married Helen.
23:34She was a Mormon.
23:36She was a sexy girl, though.
23:38Oh, she had all the right curves and vista points working for her, you know?
23:43She had this translucent skin.
23:46So, one night, she decides to tell me that she's a vampire.
23:52And I'm like, come on.
23:55But here's the thing, though.
23:56I mean, she had those fang teeth, you know, like Cher had before she fiberglassed her mouth.
23:59And in her closet, she got one of those capes with the high collar, you know what I'm saying?
24:03I mean, this chick was half nuts.
24:05And in bed, oh my goodness, she was a freaking 911 call.
24:11We had a lot of fun, man.
24:13I never did sleep over, though.
24:14She was always looking at my neck like it was a quarter pounder.
24:19Like I said, you just, you never know.
24:22People got sides, you know?
24:24Open your mind, or you'll miss the show.
24:40Hey, Jess.
24:41What are you still doing up?
24:43You couldn't sleep.
24:45Yeah, me neither.
24:46How's the eye?
24:47Sore.
24:49Want to come over?
24:52Or I could drive up.
24:54Nah, I'm beat.
24:56Long day.
24:58Do you like being another year older?
25:00I was always another year older.
25:01I thought of something else to get you.
25:03A jet ski.
25:05You remember?
25:05You were talking about those.
25:07That's nice, but I'll pass.
25:10Why don't you just make me something?
25:12Make you something?
25:14Like what?
25:16Anything.
25:17Well, tell me what you want me to make.
25:19And I will.
25:21I know.
25:23Nighty-night.
25:23Goodnight, babe.
25:26Nighty-night.
Comments