- 8 hours ago
sam pang tonight s02e01
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:12It reminded me of a time when the dentist insisted on making chit-chat during my root canal.
00:17The scent looks like it's from an old garage.
00:19He looks like he smells nice, but he might pong.
00:29Apparently you've got some feedback for me mate.
00:31You want the good or the bad?
00:32I'll take the bad.
00:33If you wanted to start really slow, you did well.
00:37The set?
00:37Try that lot, open that money bag of yours and get a decent set.
00:41An opinionated American, who would have thought?
00:43I do think the guest chair is like awkward.
00:48It's like someone's been called into HR.
00:50Those chairs look like you picked them up in a garage sale.
00:53Pushed into a Christmas tree, mindful.
00:55Swear to God, if you push one more celebrity into a Christmas tree, I'm coming over there
00:59and kicking your ass.
01:01I think you've made your point.
01:02Hi, Sam.
01:03Hi, Mum.
01:03Is your show really getting another season?
01:06Yes, it is.
01:07Why?
01:09Thank you for your feedback.
01:10Have you got any other tips for season two?
01:12I love the concept of the wheel.
01:13Right.
01:14Are you writing this down?
01:15Absolutely, sorry.
01:16You pull back the curtain and there's Kitty Flanagan in the slam dunking box.
01:21Right.
01:22And the guy gets one shot to try and dunk her into the water.
01:26So you want me to do on national television an idea from like a circus in 1940.
01:31Yeah?
01:32Okay.
01:34Hey, how's Dad?
01:35It's okay.
01:36But you're still together?
01:37Yeah, kind of.
01:39Will you be watching season two?
01:41Certainly will.
01:41Absolutely.
01:42100%.
01:43I'll be there, Sam.
01:44I've got no life.
01:52Live across Australia, this is Sam Pang tonight.
01:55And now here's your host, Mr. Sam Pang.
02:03Whoa!
02:04Whoa!
02:05Raymond, have fun, mate.
02:07Whoa!
02:08Look at this!
02:13Thank you very much.
02:22Wow.
02:24Wow.
02:27Thank you very much.
02:28Good evening.
02:29And firstly, a big welcome to my special guest announcer, Mr. Ray O'Leary.
02:37Ray, I say this sincerely.
02:41It means a lot to me that you're here.
02:42Thank you for taking time out of your busy social calendar.
02:47Look, I'm serious.
02:48I know that Minecraft doesn't just play itself.
02:53No, Network 10 insisted on it.
02:55They said for your first episode back, you needed some eye candy.
03:03I would have thought the licking of the lips was not entirely necessary then, right?
03:08But Channel 10 have nailed that, mate.
03:11That's right, by the way.
03:12Sam Pang tonight is back.
03:13And you may have noticed that like many of my Channel 10 colleagues,
03:16the show has had a complete facelift.
03:24Because, yes, we have a new set after receiving a lot of complaints.
03:30Who knew that everyone posting Facebook comments from the toilet
03:33also happened to be an interior designer?
03:37We found that out, didn't we, Ray?
03:39Now, it's obviously been a huge day of news
03:41with two opposing sides finally coming together.
03:45Yes, that's right.
03:46Katy Perry is dating Justin Trudeau.
03:51Wonderful news.
03:52How exciting.
03:53And congratulations to them both.
03:55He's dating an astronaut.
03:59And she's dating a person of colour.
04:01So that's really, um...
04:10You know, I was at that party.
04:13I had a blast.
04:16There's a big surprise, Ray.
04:18Now, it's been a tough week for Qantas.
04:20The hackers who targeted Qantas have made good on their threat,
04:24reportedly releasing the personal data of more than 5 million customers.
04:28That's right, another day, another privacy breach.
04:31A message to all the hackers who have my personal details.
04:34Just once, would it kill you to wish me a happy birthday?
04:43And honestly, I'd happily pay you if you could tell me what any of my passwords are.
04:50But to the big one, the fallout to the other big international conflict continues.
04:55The Nicole Urban...
04:57Nicole Urban?
05:01That's a whole different story.
05:03I'm talking about, of course, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's divorce.
05:07Now, apparently, we all know the story, but apparently the final straw
05:10was when Nicole asked Keith if he'd been unfaithful
05:13and Keith asked Nicole if she could name one of his songs.
05:24Ray, can you name one of Keith Urban's songs?
05:26Uh, Urban?
05:29Uh, Gangster's Paradise?
05:35That may be the last time I'm coming to you tonight, Ray.
05:38I'm not going to lie.
05:39This was interesting, though.
05:40Apparently, their marriage included a clause
05:42where Urban was paid $600,000 for every year he didn't do cocaine.
05:48Yeah, that's right.
05:49That's almost $11 million coming Keith's way.
05:52I'll be keeping an eye out to see if he requests all of it in cash.
05:58In $300 instalments.
06:01$300?
06:02$300, Ray.
06:03I know a guy who can get you...
06:05Sorry.
06:08Sorry, I did have a bump before the show.
06:16That's why I'm so energetic.
06:18Uh...
06:19You can really tell.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Yeah.
06:22$300, Ray.
06:22Yeah, but I know a guy who can get it to you for $250.
06:25Yeah.
06:27Probably shouldn't have gone back for that one.
06:29Anyway, what are you going to do, eh?
06:31In some related news, though, Alec Baldwin's wife has offered to pay Alec $500,000 for every year he doesn't
06:37kill someone.
06:44Look, I'm not going to lie, I wasn't sure about that one, but I rolled the dice because, you know,
06:50as Alec would say, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
06:59Now, to Nobel Prize news, Donald Trump's hopes of winning the Nobel Peace Prize were dashed over the weekend, with
07:05the award instead going to Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Carina Machado.
07:09In related news, the Carina Machado has also won Best Small Car of 2025.
07:21But incitingly, an Australian scientist has been awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for his work in the development of
07:27metal-organic frameworks.
07:29Now, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, and help me out here, Ray, Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.
07:34Aloy, Aloy, Aloy!
07:41Amazingly, that went worse in rehearsal, and yet we still did it.
07:48Now, it's big news, but I'd love to tell you the name of the winner, but let's be honest, like
07:53the rest of the country, after seeing the headline, I didn't read the article.
07:56I read the article, Sam.
07:58You read the article, Ray?
08:00No.
08:03By the way, Ray, the way things are going at the moment, you and I are shoo-in to win
08:06the Nobel Prize for lack of chemistry.
08:09By the way, I think you said it wrong, by the way, Ray, so help me out here, everyone.
08:13Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.
08:15Aloy, Aloy, Aloy!
08:18Not worth going back for either.
08:21To tech news, and experts are worried about the troubling rise in AI girlfriends.
08:26True story.
08:26For analysis, let's go to our AI girlfriend expert, Ray O'Leary.
08:33What are the, what are the odds, what are the, what are the odds, what are the odds we'd have
08:39you here on this night when all that news is?
08:41Well, look, you may call them AI girlfriends, Sam, but I call them girlfriends.
08:48Ray, in all seriousness, I've known you a long time, how's it going with your AI girlfriend?
08:52Look, not well, she's ghosted me.
08:55But don't worry, I've got a new girl now and she's watching at home, so I'd just like to shout
08:59out her.
09:00Hey Siri!
09:02Hi big boy, I miss you.
09:04I can't wait to get home.
09:06Not now, not now, not now.
09:07Sorry, sorry.
09:09Please don't tell her about my bit on the side, Alexa.
09:11I don't know.
09:15We'll, we'll move on, don't worry.
09:17Meanwhile, over the weekend, a baby has been born in Nashville, weighing nearly six kilos.
09:22I know.
09:23It's thought to be the second biggest baby in the world outside of Donald Trump losing the Nobel Peace Prize.
09:29Now, here's a, here's a picture of the six kilogram newborn.
09:35Well, just take that in.
09:38Now, I say this sincerely, what a beautiful baby.
09:46What a beautiful baby is what you'd usually say in these circumstances.
09:52I think, I think Ann Geddes will be steering well clear of that one.
09:56Now, I know you're, you're all laughing, but this is a little bit triggering.
09:59I was quite a big baby.
10:01I think we've got a picture of me as a child.
10:03There, there.
10:10Of course, I'm happy to acknowledge you wouldn't see that today.
10:13Um, most toddlers are vaping now.
10:16Stick around.
10:17We've got Rosie O'Donnell, Star of Luke, K-Pop Demon Hunters, Joel Kin Booster, and The Return of the Wheel
10:22of Segments.
10:23It's going to be a great show.
10:24Oh, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
10:25Sorry to interrupt.
10:25Thank you so much for having me here.
10:27It's just on a roll.
10:28I know, but I just, I feel like the show, it's going a bit to your head.
10:33Hosting this show has gone to my head.
10:35Well, I just, some of the crew have been in contact with me.
10:37They took some footage of you throughout the week and I've got it here.
10:42It's coming.
10:43It's coming.
11:01It's coming.
11:15You're all doing a fantastic job.
11:17Keep working hard and you'll continue to make Sam Pang Tonight the greatest television show in the history of civilization.
11:32No one's happening.
11:33What's happening?
11:34Stop.
11:35Please.
11:35Please.
11:35Please.
11:36Please.
11:38No.
11:38No.
11:46He really is a monster.
11:49Still, it's not so bad in here.
11:50Better than watching the Logies.
11:52Can you put that back on?
11:54No.
11:54No.
11:54No.
11:54No.
11:54No.
11:54I don't want to be seen on this show.
11:56Sam Pang Tonight, Jesus.
11:58Thank God no one's watching.
12:13Come back to Sam Pang Tonight with your ho-
12:16Oh?
12:16Did I go ill?
12:28Can I just say, we're in this together, it's not that hard.
12:37You know what, I'll just do it.
12:38Welcome back to Sampang Tonight with your host Sam Jong-un.
12:42There you go, that's how you do it.
12:46As you know, Ray was not my first choice.
12:52No, of course he was.
12:53I love him and we're going to, if you're here at the end of the show, it'll be a massive
12:56surprise.
12:58Listen, as you know, I'm very receptive, Ray, to feedback on this show, especially when it comes to the guest
13:04chair.
13:04So, we had our very own and the talented Ray O'Leary trial a few new options to see what
13:10was right for the show.
13:11How do you think it went, Ray?
13:12Yeah, let's just say you can call me the chair man of the board.
13:19That was the line I should have messed up, I think.
13:23I think we can safely say I won't be doing that, Ray.
13:26But let's have a look and see what you tried out.
13:33What do you think?
13:35I don't think so.
13:36Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, nearly, yeah, oh, that's a spot.
13:44Really?
13:45Yeah, beanbag.
13:46Maximum comfort.
13:47Sorry, I just...
13:50Do you need a hand?
13:51No.
13:55Alright, that's the one.
13:56A milk crate?
13:57Don't talk to me while I'm on my smoker.
14:01If we could find a chair you can get out of, that would be great.
14:06These things will kill you.
14:08Yeah, I don't think that one's going to work.
14:10I used to see one of these all the time.
14:15I don't go over the hit.
14:17Mate, I don't think this is the one, but here goes.
14:20So tell us about the new movie.
14:21I'm afraid of heights, I'm afraid of heights, I'm afraid of heights, I'm afraid of heights.
14:24What about this one, Ray?
14:25I mean, it doesn't even vibrate.
14:27So you definitely don't like it?
14:28Not at all.
14:29Great, we have a winner then.
14:32Can I keep the massage chair?
14:35Go on, it's yours.
14:43Fun fact, we actually burned all those chairs after filming that.
14:48But we do have a new chair and an incredible first guest to christen it.
14:52She's an Emmy award-winning talk show host who starred in classics like Sleepless in Seattle,
14:57A League of Their Own, and right now she's touring her comedy show Common Knowledge right
15:01around Australia.
15:02There's no denying she's a comedy superstar.
15:05Surprise!
15:07Here we go.
15:07The camera's there.
15:08Hi, right in there.
15:09What do you think about Madonna?
15:11I love you.
15:12Now I know what some of you are thinking.
15:13Let's get Rosie O'Donnell.
15:14I got that.
15:14At first dibs, I touched her first, Larry.
15:16You were a virgin?
15:17Yes.
15:17I'm a nun.
15:18I don't know about Rosie.
15:21Please welcome Rosie O'Donnell!
15:31Oh my God.
15:33Hi!
15:34Thank you for helping me.
15:35There it is!
15:41Look at this!
15:43Rosie, would you do the honours?
15:45I would be thrilled.
15:48Now this is very nice.
15:50Was this Officeworks?
15:51Yeah.
15:51Yeah.
15:52Okay.
15:53Here we go.
15:54I'm honoured.
15:55Whoa!
15:56Whoa!
15:57Honey.
15:58I'll take them off you.
15:59You need that back?
16:00Yeah.
16:00All right.
16:01Okay.
16:02How are you?
16:03Oh, Rosie.
16:03Thanks so much for coming.
16:04Can I just say something?
16:06Yes.
16:07Unbelievably comfortable.
16:08Whoa!
16:09I could sit here all night.
16:12How are you?
16:13So you're happy?
16:14I'm thrilled.
16:15It's season two.
16:16Nobody thought it was coming.
16:18No.
16:19Not even Mom.
16:21Mom was not...
16:23Mom was surprised.
16:25Mom's not watching tonight, Rosie, of course.
16:28There's a harness racing on tonight, so should we...
16:32Now, thank you for christening the chair.
16:34Yes.
16:34This is a very big thrill.
16:36You're the first one to sit in it.
16:37Now, first time in Australia.
16:39Yes.
16:40You've been here for ten days.
16:41Ten days.
16:41What are your thoughts?
16:42First of all, people are lovely.
16:44Yep.
16:44Kind.
16:45Welcoming.
16:46I cannot do the accent, and I'd like to apologise if I do it tonight.
16:51And I went whale watching.
16:54Uh, where...
16:55Where did you do that?
16:57On a boat called Fantasy, S-E-A.
17:01Okay.
17:01And they take you out at the Sydney Harbour, and they gave us a speech, and again, I apologise
17:06for the accent, but they were like, you'll probably throw up.
17:09So we've got the vomit bag, and it looked like an elephant condom.
17:14It was like a long tube for your vomit, you know?
17:17And, uh, they said, you know, 20 minutes they spent on explaining how to seal the vomit
17:23bag.
17:24Right.
17:24And then I said to the guy, on a day like this, what percentage of people usually barf?
17:29He said, oh, about 83%.
17:33Very specific.
17:34Thank God I paid my money and got on here.
17:36He also said, now, don't be worried if we see a whale and it doesn't breach.
17:41Whales breaching is very strange.
17:42We saw 12 whales.
17:44Every single one of them breached.
17:46It was like a free willy exposition, you know?
17:50And, uh, exposition, that's totally the wrong word.
17:52Anyway, uh, my friend from New York, she was on the boat with me, and she was filming.
17:59And she's a very loud New Yorker.
18:01And every time that we saw a whale breach, you'd hear the whole boat go, ooh, ah, and
18:06then you'd hear her going, I got it!
18:09I got it!
18:10Did anyone else get it?
18:11I got it!
18:12On my iPhone!
18:13I'm like, this is why people hate Americans, right here.
18:17I get that excited every time Ray doesn't stuff up the throne.
18:20No, really.
18:22No, does Ray look a little like a young Weird Al Yankovic, or is it me?
18:27No, no, no, no.
18:27It's a tiny bit.
18:28Rosie?
18:29Yes.
18:29I think you're right.
18:30I personally think he looks like an old Weird Al Yankovic.
18:34Dead Ray, you're a younger man.
18:36Do you know who Weird Al Yankovic is?
18:37Uh, yeah, I do, I do actually.
18:38I was actually going to ask Rosie, where can you buy those elephant condoms?
18:42Because they can be quite useful in front of you.
18:43I don't know.
18:45They sell them at the Rayside store.
18:49Now, uh, Rosie, like I said, it's a genuine thrill for you to have you here.
18:53Well, thank you so much.
18:53And I love being on your show.
18:56Well, let's maybe wait till the end.
18:59No, I don't mean tonight.
19:00I mean the other one.
19:01The other one.
19:01Have you been paying attention?
19:02That was so fun.
19:03I had the greatest time on that show.
19:05Yeah, well, this one won't be the same.
19:06Oh.
19:08Let's just get through it together, though, Rosie.
19:10All right, keep going.
19:10Keep going.
19:10Now, you've done so much in your career, and we're going to talk to you about it in the next
19:14break, but can you explain this surprising appearance to me?
19:18Okay.
19:19What title was taken from Britain's Diana?
19:21I'm going to call Rosie.
19:23Rosie, and what does she do?
19:24She's a talk show host in New York.
19:29Hello?
19:30Rosie.
19:30Oh, no, region.
19:31Yes, it's me.
19:33What title was taken from Britain's Diana?
19:36I'm going to say Her Royal Highness.
19:37And if you lose it, the guilt, I'm going to give you the money anyway.
19:42She's right.
19:46Thank God in heaven.
19:47Thank God.
19:48Oh, man.
19:49And I didn't even know that guy.
19:51No, I didn't.
19:52I talked on my show about how much I loved it and how I want to be a phone-a
19:56-friend.
19:57And then this guy wrote me and said, I'm on two days from now.
20:00Are you free?
20:00And I said, sure.
20:02And when the phone rang, I had total diarrhea cramp.
20:05And I was like, I got to run to the bathroom.
20:07I can't believe that.
20:07I thought that was a friend of yours, and they put you down as a phone-a-friend.
20:11Never met him in my life.
20:12And I was thinking, I don't want to lose it for him, because, you know, that's a lot
20:16of money.
20:16Would you, if you were on that show, though, and you had to phone a friend, who would yours
20:21be?
20:21My friend Carolyn Strauss, who went to Harvard.
20:23Every time we play Scrabble, she has to spot me 100 points.
20:27Ivy League, that's the rule.
20:29But, you know, I was on.
20:30Oh, how'd you go?
20:31I was, I won $500,000 for my charity.
20:36Really?
20:36And then they asked the million-dollar question, and I was like, I think I know it, but I'm
20:41not sure I know it.
20:42And then I thought about, do I want to risk all that money?
20:45And so I just took the money.
20:46I took the $500,000 home.
20:48$500,000 is amazing.
20:49That's a lot of money.
20:50A lot of money.
20:51A lot of money.
20:53A lot of money.
20:54Must have hurt when you had to, when you realised you'd have to give it to charity.
20:57But anyway, Rosie, there's so much more to ask you.
21:00Will you stick around?
21:01I'm free the whole night, Sam.
21:02Wonderful.
21:02Back in a moment with more Rosie O'Donnell.
21:24Welcome back.
21:25I'm sitting here with Rosie O'Donnell, who is currently touring her show, Common Knowledge
21:30in Melbourne.
21:31You stand up right around the country.
21:33There you go.
21:33You're in Sydney, and then you're in Melbourne.
21:36Little tip for the Melbourne crowd there, Rosie.
21:39I'd get them to hand in their machetes at the start of the...
21:44But how's it all going?
21:45Are you excited about the stand-up show?
21:46So excited.
21:47I did it at the Sydney Opera House, which was a thrill and an honour, iconic place.
21:51I was absolutely blown away by the whole thing.
21:54And, you know, I tried to come here in 2013, and the producer guy person was like, you
21:59know, this is going to be great.
22:00And then he called me two months later and said, couldn't sell any tickets.
22:03Goodbye.
22:05And so I never got to be here.
22:06I wished it as a 13-year-old kid to go to Hawaii and to come to Australia, and here
22:12I am 50 years later.
22:14Don't give up on your dreams, you know?
22:17You got here, Rosie.
22:18So this is quite daunting for me, not only because of your storied career, but you hosted
22:23over 1,000 episodes of The Rosie O'Donnell Show.
22:26I did that in fact.
22:26And you had some unbelievable guests.
22:28Yes, absolutely.
22:29Look at these guests.
22:31Well, I won't name them all, but Madonna, Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Barbara Streisand,
22:34Elton John, Martin Short, Julie Roberts, Al Pacino.
22:38Favorite?
22:39Favorite?
22:40Probably Barbara Streisand.
22:41But the best guest to have on, and you should book him, is Marty Short.
22:45Because you come out and say, how you doing, Marty?
22:48And it's over for you.
22:50And he stands up and he goes, I'm here!
22:53You know, any time he wants.
22:55He was the funniest and the nicest guy.
22:58So I would say Marty Short was definitely one of the best.
23:01One of the worst.
23:02Yeah, worst.
23:03Who I love the guy, but he's not good on talk shows.
23:07Keanu Reeves.
23:08Oh, really?
23:09He's so sweet.
23:11He looks gorgeous.
23:12I love all his movies, but he would not answer a question.
23:16I'd say, so Keanu, how's it going?
23:18How you feeling?
23:20Good.
23:21You know?
23:21And finally, after like eight, we were live, you know, we didn't, couldn't re-tape.
23:26I finally said after like three minutes, you know, Keanu, it is a talk show.
23:30You have to talk, you know?
23:33But he did come back and he got the hang of it.
23:36But he's a lovely man and a good-hearted guy.
23:39So I don't want to throw him under the bus.
23:41I could have said Tom Selleck, which would have been easy to do.
23:44I saw that one.
23:45That was amazing.
23:46That was, I know.
23:47Wonderfully awkward.
23:47You know what happened?
23:48It was very awkward because I had never been unkind or controversial, but Columbine had just happened.
23:54Right.
23:55It was 1999 and he had an ad in the magazines that said, I am the NRA.
24:00Yeah.
24:00Shooting teaches children good values.
24:03And I was so torn up about Columbine that I just didn't give up.
24:07And then like an innocent idiot, I walked off stage and said to my staff, do you think that'll get
24:12any press?
24:14Well, it's hard to switch back to Magnum when that comes up.
24:18Exactly, exactly.
24:19Hey, so you did over a thousand shows.
24:21This is our ninth.
24:23You're doing great.
24:24You're doing great, Sam.
24:26If we were on in the States, we would be up to, I think, Thursday of the second week.
24:32Exactly.
24:33So you did over a thousand in many, many years.
24:35Have you got any tips for longevity?
24:37Well, I really think this is the secret of my success.
24:42We had cakes and milk on every seat when the people came in.
24:46Right.
24:46So we got them sugared up.
24:48Okay.
24:48You know what I'm saying?
24:49Cakes and milk.
24:50Little like Drake's cakes.
24:52Do you have those here?
24:52Like little cupcakes we put on each seat.
24:55And then we gave away free crap.
24:58People love a free T-shirt.
25:00You would be surprised how many people will line up for a free T-shirt.
25:04I don't know why you're clapping.
25:05You're not getting one.
25:07Sam.
25:08That's my advice, though.
25:10Okay, wonderful.
25:11I appreciate that.
25:11You know, go for bribery, just like parenting.
25:13You know what I mean?
25:14I've got a few other questions here.
25:16One is, by the way, I think I've had a lot of feedback about the set.
25:19This is a new set.
25:20Looks good.
25:21Looks good.
25:21No feedback about the desk.
25:23Apparently, last year, the desk was fine.
25:25This one's fine.
25:26I only ask this because desks were a big part of your Tonight Show, about your talk show.
25:30Have a look at this.
25:31Can you explain all these different desks?
25:33Well, there was a woman.
25:34We had an audience member do the announce every day and said, you know, hi, coming up next
25:39is Martin Short and so-and-so and so-and-so and I'm Anita from Staten Island.
25:44And so I always was, she was great.
25:46Her name was Anya Lasagna.
25:47I called her Anya Lasagna.
25:49And I casually said to her, what would you like?
25:51A T-shirt, a Rosie O'Donnell denim jacket.
25:54She said, I want your desk.
25:56And I was like, you want my desk?
25:58And she said, yes.
25:59And I said, give it to her.
26:01And so we gave her the desk.
26:02And then all these companies started writing in and saying, could we give you a desk?
26:06And like the pizza, Domino's Pizza, and brands, and then they did a horrible thing to me.
26:13They do.
26:14They got Habitrail, the gerbil company, to give me a desk with live gerbils in tubes.
26:22And one got out during the live show.
26:25And I was so scared, I ran into the audience and hid behind a kid.
26:29And it was the Make-A-Wish Foundation kit, which didn't bode well for me or my maternal instincts.
26:37But it was scary.
26:39I think you're just lucky that Richard Gere wasn't a guest on that show.
26:43Hey, I wanted to ask, which one was your favorite, by the way?
26:46Which one was your favorite guest?
26:48Or I think that there was a Lego desk, which was pretty amazing.
26:53They made it really fantastically.
26:55And it was a lot of work that they...
26:58There you go.
26:58There it is there.
26:59There it is.
26:59With the Lego desk.
27:00Right.
27:01Okay.
27:01Hey, you did your show on your own.
27:03Yes.
27:04You didn't have a guest announcer like I do.
27:06Right.
27:06And she said, what did you say to me during the break?
27:08I said, boy, he's great.
27:13I said, I said, when I come back to Australia, and I will, because I'm having the greatest
27:23time, I want to be Ray.
27:27I want to be the person.
27:28And I don't want you to announce me.
27:29I want you to have your regular guest.
27:30But you say, and now our celebrity announcer, Rosie O'Donnell, and I want to do what he does.
27:36Done.
27:36I can do that easily.
27:39A little pushy, but...
27:41You can do whatever you want.
27:43But this man is a very funny, funny man.
27:44We're very good friends.
27:45And so I just...
27:46You're a guest announcer.
27:47So now, by the way, I don't want to, you know, waste you.
27:49So it's time now for the guest announcer question.
27:53Hey.
27:55Wow.
27:57Ray.
27:58You ready, Ray?
27:59You ready?
27:59Yeah.
28:00Okay.
28:02Rosie O'Donnell, I'm Ray O'Leary.
28:05What does the O stand for in your name?
28:08Because in my name, it stands for overactive thyroid.
28:13In my name, it stands for Oreo.
28:17As many as I can have a day.
28:19Really?
28:20Yeah.
28:20Yeah.
28:21Yeah.
28:21Well done, Ray.
28:22Nailed it again.
28:23That was very good.
28:24You know, fingers calm.
28:27It hit every word.
28:29Rosie, I've got a million more questions, but only so much time.
28:32So I'm going to try something new.
28:33Okay.
28:34Now, the internet is full of wild claims about you.
28:36IMDb trivia and Reddit theories gossip.
28:38But you're sitting right here.
28:39So let's separate the fact from the fiction.
28:42Finally, somebody's going to do this.
28:44Let's go.
28:45Oh, that's a nice little bumper there.
28:48It is a nice little bumper.
28:49Yes.
28:52I liked it.
28:53I liked it.
28:53I liked it.
28:54All right.
28:54Fact or fiction, Rosie O'Donnell?
28:56You saved the life of a 90-year-old woman in Ireland from choking.
28:59Fact or fiction?
29:00Absolute fact.
29:02I went to a restaurant.
29:06I went to a restaurant, and I'm looking at this woman who's about 90, and I'm thinking,
29:10gosh, if my mom had lived, that's what my mom would look like.
29:13And she had two daughters around 60 sitting with her.
29:15And I make up stories about the people.
29:17And all of a sudden, I say to my friends, she's choking.
29:20She's choking.
29:20And then the two daughters stand up.
29:22And the woman's choking.
29:23And she's turning red.
29:24So I run over to the table, and I grab my friend.
29:28I'm like, get behind her.
29:29I stick my finger down her throat.
29:31I try to clear.
29:32You can't clear it.
29:33We're doing the Heimlich.
29:34And then I finally, I grab my friend's hands, and I pushed it as hard as I can, and out
29:38flew
29:39a huge piece of steak, and I had a napkin, and I caught it.
29:46Then, well, I'm shaking, right?
29:50I go, she's crying.
29:51The daughters are crying.
29:52We're exchanging numbers.
29:54I go back to my table.
29:55I can't finish my meal.
29:56I'm crying.
29:57The people at the next table are like, oh, Rosie, it was lovely.
30:01I'm like, thank you.
30:02I look over.
30:03She's finishing her steak.
30:06Not a care in the world, you know?
30:10All right, what about this one?
30:11Fact or fiction?
30:12You did not feature in the Flintstones sequel, Viva Rock Vegas, because there was a scene
30:16with Barney and Betty where they become swingers and do a couple swap with Fred and Wilma.
30:23Fact or fiction?
30:24Well, a little bit of fact, a little bit of fiction.
30:27The fact is, if that had been the storyline, I would have done it.
30:32But the truth is that John didn't want to do it.
30:34John Goodman and Rick, they didn't want to do it, and I didn't want to do it without them.
30:38I thought it would be strange to have Betty and no one else, you know?
30:41Fair enough.
30:41That would be a different movie.
30:42So that was that.
30:42And Jane Kerkowski was quite funny.
30:44All right, couple to finish.
30:47Fact or fiction?
30:48You auditioned for the role of Elaine in Seinfeld.
30:52Fact or fiction?
30:52Fact.
30:55However, every comedian, female, in New York and in L.A. auditioned for that part.
31:01And so when someone asked me in an interview, I said, oh, it's true.
31:05And then they write, Rosie O'Donnell wanted to take Julia Louise Dreyfus' job.
31:09I didn't.
31:09I just, like, meant it was a cattle call.
31:11Like, every funny comedian from New York, come on in.
31:14And I did, but I never got a call back.
31:17Well, at least you put yourself out there.
31:18I put myself out there.
31:20I did my best.
31:20Damn it.
31:21Last one, last one, Rosie O'Donnell.
31:23Now, this is interesting, considering we all know how you feel about Donald Trump.
31:27You attend, you attended one of his weddings.
31:30Fact or fiction?
31:32Fact.
31:33What?
31:34Let me tell you what happened.
31:36This is before anything, before we had our little feud in 2007.
31:41My friend, Jason Opsall, was my, uh, Kinnicky in Grease on Broadway.
31:45Right before he was my Kinnicky, he was Marla Maples' leading man in Will Rogers' Follies.
31:51He got an invitation plus one.
31:53He invited me, and I thought, what a kick.
31:55I'll just go and do this.
31:57And, well, I went there with him, and then as he was walking down the aisle at Trump Plaza,
32:02and he had stood her up three times, just so you know.
32:05This was the fourth wedding attempt.
32:06So we didn't know if he was going to get back.
32:09Well, right, he's stealing your moves.
32:12As he was walking down the aisle, he shook hands with every famous person that he saw.
32:17Not me, because I didn't know the guy at all.
32:20But he shook hands with everyone who was there, including Jeffrey Epstein.
32:26Good guy.
32:27Their buddy.
32:29Good guy.
32:31Oh, that one.
32:32No, no, no, no, no.
32:33Okay, good, good.
32:34Different one.
32:35Different one.
32:36Different guy.
32:37But they look very similar.
32:38All right, just a quick one.
32:41Did you get him a gift?
32:42I did not.
32:43We only stayed for the hors d'oeuvre.
32:46We thought it was funny, and then we left.
32:48And then when he was going off on me in 27, saying, she's ugly, she's gay, she's fat,
32:52she's this, she's disgusting.
32:54And then I just put a little tweet up there.
32:57I was at your wedding.
33:01Rosie, it's been an absolute honor.
33:03Thank you so much.
33:04Come back next time.
33:05Thank you for having me.
33:06I really appreciate it.
33:07Please thank the incredible Rosie Ardeno.
33:35You're watching Sampang tonight.
33:37The Special Kits announcer, me, Ray Overactive Thyroid Leary.
33:47Nailed it, Ray.
33:49This week, I was offered the opportunity to sit down and have a chat with Joel Kim Booster.
33:54Now, if you don't know who he is, he's one of the stars of Loot, airing October 15 on Apple
33:59TV+.
34:00Nicholas?
34:02Oh, God!
34:04Your calf-kin palazzo romper is ruined!
34:08And also our plane crashed.
34:13Help!
34:14It's a really, really funny show.
34:17Warning, though, there was a lot less lutes in it than I was actually expecting.
34:21A very underrated string instrument, the lute.
34:25Either way, I was still excited to sit down with him.
34:28And, look, I'm just letting you know that the interview took place very early in the morning.
34:31But I don't think you'll be able to tell.
34:33We think it was pretty seamless.
34:37God, you're handsome.
34:38Oh, thank you.
34:39You're comfy.
34:40It's 4 a.m. here in Australia, Joel.
34:45Wow.
34:46I am now going to give you the best interview of your life.
34:49Because I feel bad that you even have to talk to me right now.
34:51Thank you so much.
34:52It's a big thrill.
34:54Firstly, can I just say, Joel Kinbooster, that is a cool name.
34:58Yeah.
34:58It's so funny because I almost dropped the booster when I graduated college.
35:02And can you imagine what my career...
35:05It would be in shambles right now if I didn't have the booster.
35:07Yeah.
35:08Well, it's a three-name theory.
35:09It's just...
35:10Yeah, no.
35:11It's something about the three...
35:12Sarah Jessica Parker.
35:13You know, like, there's just a nice ring to it.
35:15Daniel Day-Lewis.
35:16John Wayne Gacy.
35:17You know, all the big ones.
35:18All the big ones, Joel.
35:19So, you're promoting Loot on Apple TV all over the world.
35:24You are a handsome gay Asian who was adopted.
35:27Uh-huh.
35:27Wow.
35:28That's a lot of things.
35:29Yes, it is.
35:29And you play Nicholas, who is a handsome gay Asian who was adopted.
35:33How would you describe your range as an actor, Joel?
35:38Um, yeah.
35:39No, listen.
35:40I think that on paper, there's a lot of demographic chess boxes that Nicholas and I align on, certainly.
35:46But I don't think beyond that, there's really that much similarity between the two of us.
35:52I think, A, of all, Nicholas has a lot more confidence than I think I do as a person in
35:58real life.
35:59Uh, there's not an ounce of imposter syndrome in Nicholas's body, and I envy that a lot.
36:03And I don't say, um, I don't think many of the things that Nicholas says, let alone say.
36:09So, um, you know, I think I'm, I think people generally, like, assume I'm exactly like Nicholas
36:16and assume I'm going to be, like, just worst friendly when I meet them.
36:20And that is, unfortunately, not me.
36:21I'm kind of boring.
36:22I find that very, very hard to believe.
36:24But, um, now, there's some incredible cameos in the show.
36:28Kesha, my favourite, by the way, Praying, an anthem for me.
36:31Got David Chang, uh, Tony Hawk.
36:33What about, in this season, you've got Henry Winkler, the Fonz.
36:36Oh, yeah.
36:37Is there a guest or a cameo that you've had, that you've been starstruck with?
36:42It's tough because, I mean, like, every day it's, like, hard not to be a little starstruck by Maya.
36:47But Henry's probably the biggest, um, like, legend, icon that I have worked with that closely.
36:53And he's the nicest guy.
36:55He, like, was not siloed off from the rest of the cast.
36:58Like, he was just down to sit there and tell us every interesting story that he has from 50 to
37:0360 years of working in this industry.
37:05And, you know, at one point he got up during our lunch break and called a very famous singer, uh,
37:11that he did not know just to tell them that he liked their work.
37:14And he appreciated their work.
37:16And it was just that kind of thing is so, what we have all discovered is just so Henry Winkler.
37:21Like, he is so effusive and, um, does not hold back on the compliments.
37:25So he's such a nice guy.
37:26Has that ever happened to you?
37:27Has someone reached out and contacted you that you've admired and respected and said,
37:31I just wanted to say I really love what you're doing.
37:33You know, I met, um, Amy Sherman Palladino and Dan Palladino, the creators of Gilmore Girls, at the Emmys a
37:39couple years ago.
37:40And they had no idea who I was.
37:42But they did email me a couple weeks later and tell me that they had watched Fire Island and they
37:47really enjoyed it.
37:48And that was really nice of them.
37:50And especially for me because I have seen Gilmore Girls the entire series all the way through a dozen times,
37:56maybe more.
37:57Yeah.
37:57Um, and it's a very hugely inspirational and, and, uh, piece of media for me growing up as, uh, you
38:03know, I have a lot to relate to with those girls.
38:06So you watched the Gilmore Girls and I watched the Golden Girls.
38:09So that's the, that's the difference between, uh, between you and I.
38:12I don't know if you've seen the Golden Girls recently, but that has aged very well.
38:16Oh, yeah.
38:16No, I still, when I, if I'm in a hotel, baby, TV land is on and I'm watching the Golden
38:21Girls on syndication, the marathon.
38:23Mate, I'm telling you, Blanche, Blanche was hot.
38:27I'm just, I just want that out there.
38:29Um, you're a wonderful stand-up.
38:30I saw you in Melbourne a couple years ago.
38:32I thought you were wonderful and just so fun.
38:34I get often confused for other Asian comedians.
38:38Uh, Ronnie Chang, uh, Aaron Chen, um, you know, Penny Wong, Kim Jong-un.
38:43Is there any one that you get mistaken for?
38:46I mean, famously, Bo and Yang all the time.
38:50Um, we've been, we've been friends for over 10 years.
38:54He's like a megastar now and it's still not enough.
38:58People still come up to me and say that they love me in SNL.
39:01They ask me all the time if I ever get that I look like the guy from SNL.
39:05Um, you know, and even the press, I mean, the Hollywood Reporter, uh, sort of infamously
39:12used my photo for the announcement of Bo and getting cast in SNL.
39:16So it just, it happened from the top down and it is crazy.
39:20Joel, I have to confess, I am a little bit starstruck talking to one of the stars of the
39:24global hit, uh, K-pop Demon Hunters.
39:27How amazing has it been for you to be a part of that?
39:30And also were you a little bit devastated when you didn't land one of the singing roles?
39:34Um, I mean, well, they did have a sing for the audition.
39:38So I was a little bit like, what gives?
39:39Why didn't, was I not good enough?
39:41But no, it's been incredible.
39:42It's like, it's such a huge honor to even be like a small little part and fabric of that movie.
39:48I mean, I don't think anybody thought that it was going to become the global phenomenon
39:53that it is.
39:54And so I'm, I'm so glad it did.
39:55Um, and I'd like to point out for posterity's sake that my character does not die on screen.
40:01So there's a sequel.
40:04You're in it.
40:05Well, the Saja boys need a new lead singer.
40:08I did, you know what I mean?
40:09Exactly.
40:09And why not Roman?
40:10Why not Roman?
40:12Joel Kimberster, I'll finish with this.
40:13Thank you so much for your time.
40:15I really appreciate it.
40:16It's a bit of a delicate topic with the current global conflict, but I really need to get your
40:21opinion on it.
40:24Keith Urban or Nicole Kidman?
40:27Where do you stand here?
40:28I mean, Nicole Kidman all day.
40:31Nicole Kidman all day.
40:32What a question.
40:33You're pissing me off now.
40:34Get this guy off your screen.
40:36Look at these questions he's asking me.
40:37I'm kidding.
40:39That's how I'm used to conversations finishing anyway, Joel.
40:43So that's perfect.
40:45Mate, thank you so much for your time.
40:47I really appreciate it.
40:48And yeah, congratulations on everything.
40:50Thank you very much.
40:51Thank you for taking care.
40:58That was a great chat, Sam.
41:01Sorry, say that again?
41:02That was a great chat, Sam.
41:03That's very nice of you to say.
41:04Why are you eating cereal?
41:08It's 4 a.m. somewhere.
41:11Back with more in a moment with a brand new segment.
41:39Now, as you'll notice in my opening monologue,
41:41it's impossible to cover all the news of the week.
41:44But the only problem is reading out the news is quite boring.
41:47So I made an executive decision that it would be more entertaining
41:51to hear the stories in song, which inspired this new segment.
41:59Please welcome entertainer Oliver Clark, live from the News Lounge.
42:04Thank you, Sam.
42:06Wow.
42:11I got to tell you, it is so good to be here doing the lounge news.
42:15It incorporates two things that I just simply adore.
42:18Singing and journalism.
42:20And what an opportunity to mix them together.
42:23First news story, straight up top.
42:25Hit it!
42:31Aussie wins world porridge making contests.
42:37Her Jaffa porridge was voted simply the best.
42:43Her recipe was rum banana.
42:49It was a family secret recipe, passed down from her nana.
43:03Wow.
43:04What a great story up top.
43:06Now, let's head over to Tinseltown for the latest from Hollywood.
43:10Hit it!
43:15There he was, just acting like a creep.
43:19Oh, no, did he?
43:21Oh, what did, did he do?
43:24Sex trafficking and a whole lot of lube.
43:27Oh, no, did he?
43:29Oh, what did, did he do?
43:31He seemed cool, he seemed fine.
43:35Now he's doing four years, four years of hard time.
43:40Oh, no, did he?
43:42Oh, what did, did he do?
43:54Okay, now for a bit of travel news.
43:57A bit of a travel warning, ladies and gentlemen.
44:00Anyway, take this for a walk, Tony.
44:02Take that bass for a walk, baby.
44:03Come on.
44:14Mount Everest snowstorm
44:18Hundreds of hikers
44:21Trying to keep warm
44:26Five hundred rescued
44:30And one dead
44:41Thank you so much.
44:44All right, this lady's been in the news.
44:46She keeps going away.
44:47She comes back.
44:48Love her or hate her.
44:49She's back again.
44:50Hit it!
44:58Well, she's the one you never taught
45:00She's the kind you wouldn't want
45:02To make your dinner
45:06And now she knows her place
45:08Been locked up by the state
45:10They did pin her
45:14Mushroom lady
45:16Whoa, whoa, whoa
45:18Mushroom lady
45:19We're talking about
45:22That mushroom lady
45:25You wouldn't eat her fungi
45:34Thank you so much.
45:38Amazing, amazing.
45:39Oliver Clark there
45:40Oliver Clark there
45:41With the News Lounge.
45:42The Wheel of Segments is up next.
45:44Stick around.
46:09Welcome back.
46:10It's been a big, big show
46:11But just before we're finished
46:13It's time now for the
46:15Wheel of Segments
46:17There we go.
46:24Now, for anyone who
46:26Anyone new to the show
46:28We'll
46:29I spin the wheel
46:30And whatever it lands on
46:31That is the segment we do.
46:33The wheel is full of fun
46:35New segments this year.
46:36Spot anything you like, Ray?
46:37I like the idea of Rickshaw karaoke
46:40I don't know if Rickshaw is a good singer or not
46:44But I hope Mr. Shaw knows what he's doing.
46:49I probably should have just spun the wheel
46:50That's fine.
46:51Here we go.
46:51I'm going to spin it now
46:54And look at it go
46:55Who knows what
46:55By the way, my favourite one
46:58Slur or not a slur
46:59Is
47:00Is
47:01Oh, it's still going
47:02It's still going
47:03I tell you
47:03I give it as
47:05I know
47:06Who knows where it'll land
47:08The Yemen's Funniest Home Videos
47:09That might be a
47:10That'd be a tough one
47:11I mean, if we've got time to kill
47:13I'm doing a show in Melbourne
47:14On the 18th
47:15I'm trying to do
47:16Come along
47:17Hold on, Ray
47:18It's going to land
47:19It's landed on
47:21Hangtasker
47:27Where was that show again, Ray?
47:29On Humdinger Studios
47:31In Melbourne
47:32There you go
47:32Okay, and like I say
47:33All tickets still available
47:37Now this is very exciting
47:38It's a brand new segment
47:39Now we're currently being sued
47:41Over the name Hangtasker
47:42But let's not let that ruin the moment
47:44And now
47:45We all have pesky tasks
47:48We're avoiding
47:48Returning emails
47:49Phone calls
47:50Seeing your family
47:53We've already received
47:54Some viewer submissions
47:55And that's where I come in
47:57To lend a helping hand
48:03What's your problem, Vicky?
48:04Look, my problem is
48:05My bathroom cupboard, Sam
48:06And I really need your help
48:07To come and fix them
48:08No, here to help
48:09Oh, sorry
48:10I should have said
48:10Thank God you're here
48:12Yeah, that's a different show
48:14What do you reckon?
48:16Wow
48:18How long have you been single?
48:20I know what this is
48:21Yes
48:22What do you reckon?
48:23Should I keep it in there or not?
48:24You should absolutely keep it
48:25From what I've been together
48:26And you use it more frequently
48:28What are those tablets
48:29What are those things?
48:30They're expired
48:33Oh yeah
48:34Okay
48:34They're good
48:35Here you go
48:36Yeah, one, two
48:36Okay, alright
48:37It'll help us get through this
48:39My initial instinct is
48:40You should just move out
48:41What's this?
48:42Lemon myrtle
48:44It's from under myrtle
48:45Isn't it?
48:46Yeah, I know
48:46There's more lemon
48:46Look
48:48I've got an idea though
48:49Okay, okay
48:49Open that
48:50So you just put all this stuff in there
48:55That in there
48:57That goes in there
48:58Okay
48:59Have a look at that
49:00Oh, look at that
49:01Talk about decluttering
49:02Yes
49:03Okay
49:03I think my work here is done
49:04Another paying task of success
49:07Actually, it's the first one
49:08But you know, man
49:09We're getting the hang of it
49:09We are
49:10We're doing well
49:10Do you have something to say to me?
49:13Not right now
49:13I'll send you an email
49:15No worries
49:20Wow
49:23That was paying tasker
49:25And that's our show
49:26A big thank you to our incredible guests
49:28Rosie O'Donnell
49:28Joel Kimbooster
49:29Oliver Clark
49:30Vicky Hennett-Bark
49:31And my special guest announcer
49:33Ray O'Leary
49:35Next week
49:36Comedy superstar
49:37Sam Campbell
49:38And more
49:38Goodnight Australia
49:45Sweet
49:51It looked like
49:53An elephant condom
49:54It looked like
Comments