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Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen - Season 1 - Episode 08: I Do
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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:42CastingWords
01:14CastingWords
01:33CastingWords
01:34Please be seated.
01:41We have all gathered here to witness the joining of these two beloved souls.
01:49It has been said that love is patient, love is kind, but I have found it to be much more
01:57life threatening than that.
02:00When we first fall in love we become soft and in our softness we are stabbed all the way through
02:08the chest.
02:09That's love. It's a metal rod through the heart piercing you.
02:17Every day you hope that that rod isn't ripped out, but like any risk it's the thrill that makes it
02:28all worthwhile.
02:30To love fully one must offer themselves up. The most important decision is who you trust to hold the other
02:37end of that metal rod.
02:40And now the couple has decided to write their own vows. Rachel, we'll start with you first.
02:53Nikki, falling for you was so easy and it happened so fast.
02:57Our first date was in a rental car and lasted four days.
03:06Four days.
03:09And I remember thinking, I never want to get out of this car and four days is now forever.
03:29I spent my life trying to arm myself against bad luck, always in pursuit of certainty, but as we know
03:46this week has put us through the fucking ringer.
03:48Sorry. Put us through the ringer and through it all I realized that you can't rely on certainty because there
04:04is no certainty in marriage, in love, in anything.
04:09The only certainty in life is death.
04:16The only certainty in life is death.
04:25The only certainty in life is death.
04:46So fuck certainty.
05:02I have nothing to worry about.
05:05Because you.
05:07You are my good luck charm.
05:09You have always, always, always been my good luck charm.
05:15It's true.
05:17So.
05:20I vow, Nikki.
05:23To see you truly as you have done for me.
05:27And I promise to.
05:31Believe in you.
05:33And believe in us.
05:38Because that, it, that's really what this, this is, it's, it's a leap of faith that we don't know what's
05:46going to happen, but we believe it's going to work out.
05:52And I, I believe you are my soulmate.
06:05So wherever we're going, wherever we're going, I never want to get out of this rental car.
06:16Okay, I'm done.
06:18Sorry.
06:19Okay, Nikki, your turn.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Okay.
06:23I wrote mine down.
06:28Rachel.
06:31Um, I wish I went first.
06:33That's tough.
06:33That is tough to follow.
06:35Um, okay.
06:37Rachel.
06:37As you could see from the second you got here, I grew up in a household where marriage was highly
06:45regarded.
06:46So, of course, when you told me two weeks into our relationship that you'd never get married, I thought, she's
06:55the one.
06:57But really, I never had to interrogate if you were the one, because I was just new.
07:05And after spending one hour with you, I thought to myself, I hope every hour is like this.
07:14And if I don't spend the rest of my life with her, it's because I fucked up really badly.
07:21I made a vow to myself not to fuck it up really badly so that I could stand at an
07:26altar one day making vows to you.
07:31So here we are.
07:35I promise to always give you my love, my time, my understanding.
07:44I promise to be a nonjudgmental partner in whatever adventures you seek.
07:51I promise to stand beside you always, even in times of disagreement.
07:58There is nothing in the world that matters more to me than you.
08:04And I won't let anything get between us.
08:10That was beautiful.
08:11That was beautiful, both of you.
08:15Okay, now for the big moment.
08:17The rings, please.
08:21There you go.
08:23That's for you.
08:25That's for you.
08:27Oh, I'm shaking.
08:30Okay.
08:32Rachel Alexander Harkin,
08:34do you take Nicholas Summer Cunningham
08:36to be your lawfully wedded husband,
08:38to have and to hold in sickness and in health
08:42till death do you part?
08:52I do.
09:06Nicholas Summer Cunningham,
09:08do you take Rachel Alexandra Harkin
09:11to be your lawfully wedded wife,
09:13to have and to hold in sickness and in health
09:16until death do you part?
09:35A simple I do is all I need to say.
09:37I, uh...
09:38I wrote these vows a week ago
09:48and they don't quite feel...
09:55because you, you're, you're right.
09:58This week, it put us through the ringer
10:01and everything I thought I knew
10:04about, about love and marriage.
10:08It's changed.
10:08It's all changed.
10:10I, I, I understand you now better than I ever have before.
10:14I, I see now what you were saying.
10:18What are you doing?
10:19Marriage destroys people
10:21and it was already starting to get to us.
10:25And you know what?
10:26I, um...
10:28I don't want our relationship to change.
10:31You make me stick to the school.
10:32I mean, it's terrible.
10:32Marriage has been a...
10:34Poison, it's a...
10:34Marriage is a...
10:35Stop it.
10:36Okay, I got it.
10:37It's been a poison in my family
10:39and I just...
10:41I pushed you here
10:43when you didn't want.
10:44What are you doing?
10:45Rachel, all I want is to spend
10:47the rest of my life with you.
10:50But I don't want us to be like them.
10:53I want us to have the privilege
10:55of genuinely choosing each other
10:57every day like we, we always have.
11:02The rental car is taking a hard left
11:04far away from here.
11:06She's on the car.
11:07Mickey, look at me.
11:08Look at me.
11:10Marry, marry me.
11:11Marry me.
11:12You have to marry me.
11:13Right now.
11:15I'm freeing us from the institution.
11:17Are you fucking serious?
11:18Rachel, are you fucking serious?
11:20Is this what you want?
11:22I'm serious.
11:23I'm serious.
11:24Oh my God, he's serious.
11:24Why don't we just give a couple
11:25some time to sort things out?
11:27Rachel.
11:27No.
11:28Everybody just stay put.
11:30Rachel.
11:37Let's just get the keys
11:38and get in the car and drive.
11:39Fuck all this.
11:40You're not serious.
11:41I'm so sorry I pushed this here.
11:43I'm facing it.
11:43Hey, this week has been kind of a nightmare.
11:45Oh my God.
11:45And what if it was a vision of our future
11:47and I'm not going to let that happen to us?
11:48Oh my God, of course this week was a nightmare.
11:49Nikki, it's the week of our wedding.
11:50What do you think the week of a wedding is?
11:53You were supposed to take the leap of faith with me.
11:55I did.
11:56I did.
11:56That's what I was doing.
11:57No, that was you hiding behind a philosophy
11:59and fearing the future based on other people's bad decisions.
12:02I was the one putting my confidence in us.
12:05I'm doing the same thing.
12:06Oh, how is this the same thing?
12:08You just agreed that all that matters is us.
12:10I'm looking out for us.
12:11How?
12:12I just refuted my family's whole value system for you.
12:14But I didn't ask you to.
12:16Okay.
12:16But, Rachel, I know you never wanted to get married.
12:19And now I see it and I finally understand why.
12:22You have to marry me.
12:24Rachel.
12:24No, we have to get married.
12:25Rachel, you've literally always said you never wanted to get married.
12:28Yeah, that was before.
12:29And neither was a fucking marriage curse tied to my bloodline.
12:30And actually, if you hadn't proposed to me, we'd be fine.
12:33And it's not your fault.
12:34Okay?
12:35It is not your fault.
12:35You didn't know.
12:36I didn't know.
12:37But now we know.
12:38And now we have to get married.
12:41That's not a reason to get married.
12:43It should be because we love each other and we believe in that.
12:46I know.
12:47I know that that's not the fucking situation that we're in now.
12:57Oh, my God.
12:58Why are you doing this now?
13:02What the fuck, Nicky?
13:04Why are you doing this now?
13:15Yeah.
13:16More.
13:17More.
13:18More.
13:19Yeah, that.
13:19Yeah, thank you.
13:20That's how much everyone should be getting.
13:21Everyone.
13:22Even the minors.
13:22That one's for you.
13:23He was in crisis, Victoria.
13:25He was looking to me for guidance.
13:26And I had to be honest.
13:32How was I supposed to know he was going to react like this?
13:34Because he idolizes us.
13:36He thinks we have the perfect marriage.
13:39We do.
13:43He ruined my relationship with my son.
13:47I will never have the chance to regain his trust.
13:50No, no.
13:51He loves you.
13:52He took away my ending.
13:54Wait, come back.
13:55Victoria.
13:58Honey, what happened up there?
14:00Are you okay with this?
14:02Is Nicky okay?
14:03What do we do?
14:05This is just a little silly disagreement.
14:08They will be fine.
14:08Could someone do the rounds?
14:10I don't want anyone thirsty.
14:11Cheers.
14:12Cheers.
14:14Like you mean it.
14:15Mommy, hi!
14:16I'm keeping the energy out.
14:24Why'd you even propose to me then?
14:27If I've always said I didn't want to get married.
14:30All it took was you finding out that your parents' marriage isn't perfect.
14:33That's what you needed.
14:34To do the thing that I've been saying I wanted since the day we met.
14:39I could have told you an hour into knowing them, Nicky,
14:41that your parents don't have the marriage you vitalized your whole life.
14:44Your mother is lovely, yes, but she's also a narcissist.
14:46And your father is a broken romantic who's looking for something to stuff the rest of himself into.
14:51So their marriage only works because he reveres her.
14:54And she needs to be revered.
14:55He's completely consumed by her and still he's not enough for her.
14:58So they're both empty and it's depressing to watch.
15:02Thanks, Rachel.
15:02Yeah.
15:03Thanks.
15:04Thank you for that.
15:05So I guess we both don't want to end up like your parents.
15:08And, um, just to be clear in that scenario, I'm the romantic and you're the narcissist.
15:16Oh, that's nice.
15:19Yeah, no, that does make sense, actually, because our whole relationship revolves around you.
15:25Okay.
15:26It's always me reassuring you that everything's okay, even when there's literally nothing going on.
15:33Because you think something's always out to get you.
15:36So I'm always tiptoeing around your sensitivities because you can't handle anything.
15:42I get it.
15:43Not even one day with my family without me there constantly reassuring you.
15:48Every little thing is just an exhausting puzzle with you.
15:52Nothing is easy.
15:54You're a really hard person to love.
15:56I know.
15:59Okay?
16:00I know.
16:05Is that what you want to hear?
16:10Fuck.
16:26It was me.
16:32It was me.
16:33It was me.
16:34Why should we leave?
16:35Oh, no, I need you.
16:36It was me.
16:44why'd you say yes then
16:47when i proposed why'd you say yes because because i knew how much it meant to you and i and
16:53i i
16:54loved you and
16:59you're like the only person who could have gotten me here you loved me
17:08do you not love me anymore
17:12no go away i want to know her answer
17:14porsche what the fuck mom wants you two back in there kissing and smiling like you didn't just
17:19slap her in the face in front of her whole bloodline and everyone in this world she
17:21loves and respects okay goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye
17:31yes nikki of course i love you still
17:35okay and one of the things that i love the most about you is that you are a rock you
17:39are consistent you are stable and you don't do things like dump me at the altar i wasn't
17:45breaking up with you i was saving us oh good yeah do you think it worked
17:52if you really wanted to save us you would have said i do up there because i had everything
17:57under control okay i had to go through a lot to get up there and say yes with confidence
18:06and if you don't marry me by sundown the curse spreads to you and your family so you know
18:12actually i was saving you oh my god rachel what what do you mean what
18:46i don't want to say it but you owe me fifty dollars each
18:50oh my gosh you guys made a bet yeah after the rehearsal dinner it seemed like a safe bet
18:55come on pass it over technically the bet was about her calling they might still work it
18:58out you too you too what i like money you lost the bet
19:06so it's actually encrusted with rhinestones not diamonds but the back is custom please don't touch
19:11it's fragile
19:18the fuck was he thinking i don't know
19:36what i'm saying is that from my perspective you've been extra on edge since we got here
19:43and then you told me something bad was gonna happen and then you started talking about curses
19:50so can't you see why it made sense to me that you'd be into the idea of us not getting
19:56married
19:57like all of that stuff coming up before our wedding it had to be caused in part by like
20:03the pressure or something stop what do you not believe in the curse marriage is the curse
20:12i'm absolving us from that oh my god no nikki the curse is the curse the absolution
20:19was us getting married do you think that i like made this up what i don't think you made it
20:24up i
20:25just what tell me what it is what what is it like a fear of commitment or stress no i
20:33i just
20:34what i think both of us have been cursed in our own ways by like the systems that raised us
20:44oh my god and by not getting married we are fixing that so when i say that i will die
20:49if you and i are
20:50not soulmates you don't believe me
20:54you don't think rachel what you don't think what
21:04yeah i don't think that would happen
21:09you literally just told me you believe me you literally just told me you believe me right before
21:13i walked down the aisle this is crazy this is crazy wait wait hold on hold on i can't fucking
21:19believe it no no no no i didn't mean for it to get like this i'm sorry i i i
21:23i put my confidence
21:24in us because i thought that you saw me i thought that we saw each other can we go back
21:29to like
21:29just can we just go back to like four hours ago please
21:48i like what i see right side or grooms groom i knew it are you married uh yeah to each
22:00other
22:01yeah do you believe she's your soulmate yeah for sure
22:08for sure sorry um we're just gonna go back back to our table what happens at a wedding reception
22:14where there's no bride or groom what is that let me set up for one of your bad jokes no
22:18honey it's a
22:19genuine question please no
22:25i don't know what you want me to do i you don't let me think independently of you
22:30you don't accept it when i don't share your exact perspective i can't change what i believe in
22:36but you can't believe me okay you can't believe me that's different rachel that's different okay i don't
22:42believe in like supernatural shit or like cosmic retribution okay curses
22:48i don't believe in fucking aliens but if you told me there was certainty that you saw a fucking alien
22:53i would believe you nikki
22:56i'm sorry rachel i don't i you don't you knew this about me okay this isn't like a new information
23:02what you do what you do nikki when you love someone is you believe the person that you love that's
23:09what trust is
23:10so when you told me that you believed me i believed you instead of looking at a catalog of all
23:16the things
23:16you've said in the past because i am fucking seeing you in the moment in every moment i am looking
23:21at you
23:21and you just you don't fucking do that for me you don't you just you chose a version of me
23:30a long time
23:30ago and that's all i am and then you get you get frustrated when i'm not hip because then you
23:38don't know who to be and you know what it's bad nikki it's a bad fucking quality because you have
23:43made
23:44it impossible impossible for me to exist
23:57i like a jacket yeah thanks can i have it
24:083 45 i'm getting them
24:25the fuck is going on in there
24:32fuckers
24:39let me in rachel the sun sets at 4 44 that's less than an hour what the hell are you
24:44doing
24:44i need a minute you're running out of minutes i'm getting the master key dickheads
25:13if you weren't if you weren't cursed
25:16would you still have said yes oh my god that's irrelevant it's like asking me oh do you think
25:23you'd be right-handed if you had no fucking arms
25:28well i still want an answer
25:33you have nothing to say you know what nikki but actually you're just babied by your mother and
25:38sheltered from the entire fucking world so you know nothing about the real world nikki nothing
25:47an evil person i think your brain should be studied
25:50god that was like two fucking years okay well i would never disappear on you for a fucking week
26:16it took all the shit back not to fall apart
26:21they're trying to march into the pieces of my broken heart
26:25and i've been awesome and i just feel sorry for myself
26:31oh my god
26:32not now
26:33i knew you would ruin the wedding rachel
26:34i didn't portia
26:35i know that this has been a tough week
26:38but whatever problems you two are having
26:40i i promise you will be able to work it out okay
26:44but now is not the time
26:46just let them do what they need to do
26:47not right yet
26:48they have to get married dad
26:49they have to
26:50what happened out there man
26:51i don't need this
26:52i don't need this right now
26:53none of us need this right now
26:55grow up and get married
26:56and what the hell are you doing
26:58you didn't drink it
27:00no i i put my faith in him
27:03why would you do that
27:04because i was 98%
27:05i said drink what
27:06the fuck are you doing
27:07look at her
27:07marry her
27:08who cares about your brand new life philosophy
27:10marry her or we're all fucked
27:12drink what now
27:13oh shut up portia
27:14you have to get married
27:16oh what because of the curse yes
27:18he doesn't believe in it
27:19oh it's real
27:20and if you don't marry her
27:21it spreads to our family
27:23that means jude's gonna have it too right
27:24wait what do you mean all of us
27:26yes i don't understand
27:27all right everybody just
27:28calm down
27:36sweetheart
27:38hey
27:39you didn't mean what you said out there did you
27:53i was just trying to do the right thing
27:58you have five minutes to do
27:59jules
28:01shh
28:01okay come on
28:02let's go
28:04dad get ready to say your thing
28:07let's go get that witness guy
28:09why aren't you moving
28:10come on
28:10i'm sorry
28:12rachel come on
28:13rachel come on
28:14okay let's just go out there
28:16and finish the ceremony
28:18you know
28:19you have no reason to be embarrassed
28:22no one's mad
28:26sweetheart look at me
28:30everything's gonna be okay
28:48i'm so sorry
28:49hey
28:52should we try again
28:53you wanna
28:55you wanna go back out there
28:56and try again
28:57what do you say
28:57what do you say
28:59rachel should we
29:03what do you say
29:06please
29:13no
29:15no
29:16no nikki
29:18i'm not gonna marry you
29:42when we can take a walk to the moon
29:51what are you doing
29:52i'm not gonna fucking die for him
29:53you're not gonna die
29:54you're saying your vows
29:55you believe me
29:55because you sold me
29:56well i don't
29:57i don't
29:57hold on
29:57please turn this one thing
29:58this one thing
29:59please
29:59this one thing
30:00nikki
30:01i did all of this for you
30:02i did all of this for you
30:04i said yes to the proposal for you
30:06i said yes up there
30:07because i believed in you
30:08but i'm done
30:08i'm done
30:10okay
30:10i'm not gonna betray myself
30:11for you anymore
30:12i deserve a second chance
30:14i deserve a second chance
30:16rachel please
30:17come on
30:17miss please
30:18all you had to do
30:19was believe me nikki
30:22fuck
30:22it's 445
30:33oh
30:34oh
30:34oh
30:35oh
30:36oh
30:36Oh, my God.
31:14Oh my god.
31:50Oh my god.
32:32Oh my god.
32:41Oh my god.
33:11Oh my god.
33:42Oh my god.
33:53Oh my god.
34:08Oh my god.
34:18Oh my god.
34:28Oh my god.
34:55Oh my god.
35:21Oh my god.
35:46Oh my god.
36:16Oh my god.
36:18Oh my god.
36:20Oh my god.
37:04Oh my god.
37:23Oh my god.
37:32Oh my god.
38:02Oh my god.
38:32Oh my god.
39:19Oh my god.
39:27Oh my god.
39:57Oh my god.
40:11Oh my god.
40:41Oh my god.
41:10Oh my god.
41:57Oh my god.
42:09Oh my god.
42:34Oh my god.
43:12Oh my god.
43:34Oh my god.
44:30Oh my god.
44:35Oh my god.
45:07Oh my god.
45:49Oh my god.
46:06Oh my god.
46:48Oh my god.
47:08Oh my god.
47:31Oh my god.
48:02Oh my god.
48:47Oh my god.
48:51Oh my god.
49:04Oh my god.
49:06Oh my god.
49:26It's okay.
49:28It's okay.
49:32Jude.
50:29It did happen.
50:38I'll see you.
50:39Oh my god.
51:20Oh my god.
51:46Oh my god.
52:14Oh my god.
53:07Oh my god.
53:27Oh my god.
54:01Oh my god.
54:12Oh my god.
54:34Oh my god.
55:23Oh my god.
55:34Oh my god.
56:18Oh my god.
56:33Oh my god.
57:03Oh my god.
57:42Oh my god.
58:01Oh my god.
58:58Oh my god.
59:01Oh my god.
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