- 2 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:07from video six feet in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city
00:11it's the tonight show starring jimmy fallon
00:16can i join jimmy and his guests will smith jeanette mccurdy
00:21jock hart musical guests the lemon heads and featuring steve legendary roots
00:28first twenty two twenty three and now here he is
00:34jimmy
00:36hey
00:38hey
00:39hey
00:40hey
00:40hey
01:03I love you. Thank you very much.
01:05Enjoy yourself, everybody.
01:07Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show!
01:10That's right. Oh, yeah.
01:14Well, guys, right now, we're experiencing a major cold snap.
01:18It is freezing in New York City.
01:20Whew! This morning, my face was so frozen,
01:23I kept getting mistaken for one of the real housewives.
01:29Seriously, it's so cold, even straight hockey players
01:32are spooning.
01:33You know, that's how cold it is.
01:35Whoa!
01:37It's so cold, Al Roker said he walked into Benihana
01:39and squatted over an onion volcano.
01:41What is he talking?
01:44What is he talking?
01:45That's cold.
01:47Meanwhile, it's also freezing in Washington, D.C.
01:50It is so cold, all the animal on Trump's cognitive tests
01:53were Arctic-themed.
01:55Polar bear, penguin, walrus.
01:58Walrus.
02:05It's so cold, Trump traded his Nobel Peace Prize
02:08for a Hot Pocket.
02:11It's so cold, Trump said,
02:12Forget Greenland, we're invading Cancun.
02:16It's so cold, Trump styled his hair into a hat
02:18with the ear flaps.
02:19I mean, it's freezing cold.
02:24That's cold.
02:27Speaking of Trump, today marks the one-year anniversary
02:29of him taking office for his second term.
02:37It's amazing, just one year ago,
02:39we thought renaming the Gulf of Mexico
02:40would be the craziest thing he does.
02:43Today marks the one full year since Trump took office,
02:46so we thought we'd take a look back
02:47at everything Trump has done this year.
02:49Here we go.
02:50Flipped off an autoworker.
02:52Took someone else's Nobel Peace Prize.
02:53Held a meeting about the importance of whole milk.
02:55Fell asleep during a meeting about the importance of whole milk.
02:58Got up in the middle of a different meeting
02:59just to stare out the window.
03:00Threatened to invade Greenland.
03:02Threatened to invade Iran.
03:03Threatened to reinvade Venezuela.
03:04Leaked the French president's private texts.
03:06Vacationed at Mar-a-Lago
03:07and blocked the Epstein files.
03:09Wow, what a crazy year.
03:11That was just last week.
03:13Oh.
03:19Did you guys see this?
03:21Last night, Trump posted a private text message
03:23from French President Emmanuel Macron
03:25that said,
03:29Then Trump threatened Macron saying
03:31they'll put a 50% tariff on all Emily's living in Paris.
03:36I saw that a new poll found that only 6% of Americans
03:39are satisfied with how many of the Epstein files
03:41have been released so far.
03:43Here now to talk about this is a pollster
03:45who works for the Trump White House,
03:46Stephen Hunter.
03:47Welcome to the show, Stephen.
03:48Y'all, great to be here, Jimmy.
03:52So, uh, how are you feeling about this new poll?
03:55We've never felt better.
03:57Seriously?
03:58Oh, definitely. I mean, think about it.
04:00If you take 6% and round up, you're at 10%,
04:03which is halfway to 20%,
04:06which, as everyone knows, is basically 25%.
04:09So that means one in four Americans are satisfied.
04:12Another win for the Trump presidency.
04:15Hang on. That math is a little confusing there.
04:17Uh, I don't think so.
04:19Uh, 6 becomes 10.
04:2110 is half of 20.
04:22Then you're at 25.
04:24Then when you round up, you're at 50%.
04:26And that means one in two people are satisfied.
04:28Booyah!
04:29Th-that's not accurate.
04:30The number released is 6%.
04:32Yeah, sure.
04:33But this poll had a 94% margin of error.
04:36Which means that 6% instantly becomes 100%,
04:40so everyone is satisfied!
04:42I-I-Stop doing that. Stop.
04:44God, Jimmy, I'm sorry you're not a numbers guy.
04:47I don't think you are either. I...
04:49Okay, okay. Let me take this slow for you.
04:52The number reported is 6.
04:55That could easily be incorrectly flipped
04:57and actually be a 9, which rounds to 10.
05:00Then you carry the 1.
05:01What 1?
05:02That becomes 11.
05:04That's 1 away from 12,
05:05and 12 is a dozen, which Americans love.
05:08We're talking eggs, donuts, juries.
05:11All very patriotic things.
05:13And if 12 people are satisfied,
05:14that's basically a full table at a restaurant,
05:16and who doesn't love to eat?
05:18I mean, come on.
05:20What are you talking about?
05:21Yeah.
05:22This is all basic math.
05:24I mean, this is what I studied in college.
05:26Where did you go to college?
05:28Trump University.
05:29Okay, there you go.
05:30Trump culture, everybody.
05:31T-U! T-U!
05:34We're gonna sue you!
05:35We're gonna sue you!
05:36We're gonna sue you!
05:37T-U! T-U!
05:39Oh, thank you.
05:40He's still here. Thank you.
05:41All right.
05:43Switching gears, I want to say congrats
05:45to the Indiana Hoosiers for beating the Miami Hurricanes
05:47and winning their first national championship!
05:52Wow, that was a great game.
05:53What a game.
05:56Indiana announced that they will celebrate this Saturday
05:58in Bloomington, Indiana.
06:00They're in Miami, and they're like,
06:01Nope, we got to go where the party is.
06:03Bloomington, Indiana.
06:06Well, get this.
06:06I guess I saw the company that built the Las Vegas Sphere
06:09announced plans to build a smaller version in the D.C. area.
06:12Ooh.
06:13Actually, I heard that they might get two of them,
06:15but I think the placement is a little weird.
06:17Oh, no.
06:17I just think it's just...
06:19I don't think they should...
06:20That's awful.
06:20I wouldn't do it.
06:22Don't do it.
06:22I wouldn't do it.
06:23And they're blue?
06:24Yeah, I wouldn't do it.
06:25They have to be blue?
06:28Wow. Family show.
06:29I don't think they're...
06:31And, finally, I read that Magic Mike Live
06:34is coming to New York City.
06:39All the performers were like,
06:40Hey, could you come see the show
06:41when it's a little warmer out?
06:42We have a great show.
06:44Give it up for the Roots, everybody!
06:50Oh, thank you very much.
06:56What a show we have for you tonight.
06:58He's a giant movie star who you can see
07:01in the National Geographic series
07:02Poll to Poll, which is the number one trending series
07:05right now on Disney+.
07:07Will Smith is here tonight!
07:12Yeah!
07:15She is a New York Times best-selling author
07:17whose new book Half His Age is out now.
07:20Jeanette McCurdy is joining us!
07:23Love Jeanette McCurdy.
07:26She's awesome.
07:28And he's a starting guard for the New York Knicks.
07:31Josh Hart is here tonight!
07:35Go, New York!
07:38And one of my favorite bands.
07:40I'm so psyched here.
07:41They have great new music.
07:42The Lemonheads are here tonight!
07:46Whoo!
07:50Whoo!
07:51It's gonna be fantastic.
07:52I had a good night last night.
07:54What did you do?
07:54I went to Molly's Pub over there on 3rd Avenue.
07:58I had a couple of beers watching the game.
07:59We were singing.
08:01It got me thinking.
08:02I love nothing more than I love
08:03than a good old-fashioned Irish drinking song
08:05that everyone can sing along to.
08:06And I thought that tonight, with all of you,
08:08could be kind of fun.
08:09Let's do one here.
08:10Time for the Tonight Show Drinking Song.
08:12Here we go.
08:13Tonight Show Drinking Song.
08:14Tonight Show Drinking Song.
08:16Ha, ha, ha.
08:20All right, everybody!
08:21When I get to the refrain,
08:22I want everyone to sing along.
08:23You ready?
08:24Here we go!
08:25The football playoff started,
08:27they're already so fun.
08:29Whether college or the NFL,
08:31I bet on everyone.
08:32Well, Drinking makes it easy,
08:34I can bet right from before.
08:36And when I go and lose it all,
08:38they come and take me home.
08:39Oh, hey ho, tonight Show!
08:41Upsy-daisy, down she goes!
08:43Hey ho, tonight Show!
08:44Upsie-daisy, down she goes
08:47Cheers!
08:48Cheers!
08:50Well, the Oscars are a-come
08:53And they're the best films of the year
08:55Some of them made us laugh
08:56And others killed our eyes with tears
08:58But exactly what they were about
09:00To me it isn't known
09:01Cause I watched them all while scrolling
09:04Through TikTok on my phone
09:05Oh, hey-ho, tonight's show
09:07Upsie-daisy, down she goes
09:09Hey-ho, tonight's show
09:11Upsie-daisy, down she goes
09:13Cheers!
09:16Here we go
09:17My wife, she has been distant
09:19In her room, she's locked away
09:21She says she's been reading books
09:23But I sent some things astray
09:24She must think that I am a fool
09:26And I can plainly see
09:28That she's binging every episode
09:30Of heated rivalry
09:31Oh, hey-ho, tonight's show
09:33Upsie-daisy, down she goes
09:35Hey-ho, tonight's show
09:37Upsie-daisy, down she goes
09:40Cheers!
09:41Thanks for staying with me
09:42Stick around, we'll be right back
09:43With tonight's show
09:44One-Shot Jackpot
09:45Come on back, everybody
09:50One lucky audience member
09:52Is going to come down
09:53And try to make a half-court
09:54Basketball shot
09:55Tonight's prize is $18,000
09:59You got this a straightaway shot, Danny
10:01I have faith
10:12Welcome back to the Tonight Show
10:15Guys, we're in the middle of an exciting NBA season
10:19Which means it's time for the Tonight Show
10:21One-Shot Jackpot
10:22Here we go
10:25Tonight's show
10:27One-Shot Jackpot
10:32That's right, each week
10:33One lucky audience member
10:34Is going to come down
10:35And try to make a half-court
10:37Basketball shot
10:38Last time, $17,000
10:40Was up for grabs
10:42Unfortunately for them
10:43They missed
10:44But that means tonight's prize
10:45Is $18,000
10:52And tonight, we have a special guest
10:54To select the seat number
10:55He's a standout guard
10:57For the New York Knicks
10:58Please welcome
10:59Josh Hart
11:02What's that?
11:04What's that?
11:05Come on, boy
11:05Great to see you, pal
11:08That's right
11:08It's Josh Hart
11:13Thank you for
11:14Coming to the show
11:16Thanks for doing this now
11:17In That Basketball
11:17Are numbers representing the seats
11:19In our audience
11:20Everyone look at your seats
11:21If Josh picks your number
11:23You have to jump up
11:24And let us know where you are
11:25You have to take this shot
11:27And win all this money
11:29Quest, can I get a drum roll, please?
11:31Whenever you're ready
11:32Josh, go for it, bud
11:37406
11:39406
11:42Come on
11:51Come on
11:52How you doing?
11:53I'm good
11:54How are you?
11:54I'm great
11:55What's your name?
11:55Where are you from?
11:56I'm Dani
11:56I'm from Long Island
11:57Yeah, I love Long Island
11:59Come on
12:01Dani, do you play basketball?
12:03I do not
12:04Okay
12:04That makes it a little tougher
12:05For you
12:06But it's exciting
12:07You get your one shot
12:08If you score
12:09You win $18,000
12:11That is beautifully floating
12:12And flying around
12:13That Tonight Show
12:14One shot jackpot
12:16What would you do
12:17With the money
12:17If you win?
12:18I think save it
12:21You're just going to save it?
12:22Yeah
12:24That's so smart of you
12:25That's fantastic
12:26I really got to save it
12:27Yeah, you got to save that thing
12:28Alright, good
12:29It's time to shoot
12:30Let's get into position
12:31Come on over here
12:32Alright
12:34Dani, you got this
12:36Here's the game ball
12:37Now, you have another choice
12:39Okay, before you do this
12:40Okay, you can
12:41You can either make this
12:42Half-court shot
12:43And try to win $18,000
12:44Or you can take a foul shot
12:46From over there
12:47For $2,000
12:48But you have to be wearing
12:50The hashtag the panda mascot head
12:53It's a tough choice
12:54Which one do you think
12:56You're going to do?
12:57I want to take it from here
12:58Yes!
13:00$18,000
13:02Dani from Long Island
13:04You've got to do this
13:05Take your time
13:06Okay, you got one shot
13:07So if you hit the lights
13:08Or anything
13:08That counts as your shot
13:11So really go for it
13:12You got this
13:12A straightaway shot
13:13Dani
13:13I have faith
13:18Come on, bud
13:24Oh, gosh
13:25So close
13:26If you were like
13:2720 feet closer
13:28You would have nailed it
13:29Dani, you didn't make it
13:31That means that we increased
13:32The jackpot here
13:33To $19,000
13:35But no one here
13:35Goes home empty-handed
13:37That's right
13:37You will receive
13:38An autographed sweatshirt
13:39From me
13:40That says that you were here
13:41Ah, come on
13:43Raise your color
13:44It's perfect for you
13:46Thank you for playing
13:47We'll be right back
13:47With Will Smith, everybody
13:49Come on back
13:56It's all muscle
13:57Really?
13:58You feel this?
13:59Dude, I can feel this
14:00Yeah
14:00No, it's moving
14:01It's constricting
14:02Right in your shoulder
14:03It's happening
14:04It don't like my shirt
14:06You know, like
14:15Our first guest
14:17Is one of the biggest movie stars
14:19In the world
14:20You can see him
14:21In the new
14:22National Geographic series
14:23Poll to Poll
14:25It's streaming now
14:26On Disney Plus
14:27Everyone, please welcome
14:28Will Smith
14:43That's what I'm talking about
14:47That's what I'm talking about
14:49That's what I'm talking about
14:52Oh, hey
14:54That's what I'm talking about
14:55Will Smith
14:57That's how you do it
14:58That's how you do it
15:00Thank you. That's right. Come on now.
15:03Oh, my God. See? That's fantastic.
15:05That's what I'm talking about. Welcome back to the show.
15:07Will Smith. Will Smith, everyone, take care of this.
15:13Welcome back to the show, bud. Looking good.
15:15What is up, man? Thanks for being on the show.
15:17It's a big show for us because we're following the NBA game.
15:20You're on NBC, and I know that you're a big basketball fan.
15:23Yes. I used to love it, but when my knees were younger.
15:26Yeah, yeah, exactly. No.
15:27I found a photo of you that I wanted to ask you about,
15:30playing basketball. No, it's a girl.
15:33This is Jaleel White going past you and Reggie Miller.
15:38Wow.
15:39What is... What? Do you remember this?
15:42What is that? That's the MTV...
15:44Is that the Rock and Jock?
15:46Rock and Jock, yeah.
15:47I mean, I thought Reggie had him, you know.
15:51I think Reggie Miller, like, he should have been able to stop...
15:54Something, yeah.
15:55Like, Urkel. Like, you know.
15:56Yeah, exactly. You're gonna let Urkel go past you.
15:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:59Because I was defending somebody else.
16:01Of course you were. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:03Of course, yeah. We'll take you right after that.
16:05I want to talk about your show, Pole to Pole.
16:07By the way, it's trending number one right now
16:09on Disney+. Congratulations.
16:11People are loving it.
16:12Yeah, man.
16:14It's a travel show.
16:15It takes Will Smith around the world.
16:17It's South Pole, North Pole. It's frightening.
16:20When did you start doing all this Daredevil stuff?
16:22Because I know that you dove to the deepest parts of the ocean.
16:27You're on the tallest building in Dubai and stuff.
16:30Yeah, you know, it was, you know, I blame Denzel, actually.
16:34You do? Thank you.
16:35It's a long story. It's a long story.
16:37But probably, like, 15 years ago, I went to go to talk to Denzel,
16:43you know.
16:44So we go to his house and, you know, Paulette and Jada go off.
16:47And Denzel had worked all day, right?
16:50So he comes in. He sits down.
16:52And I could tell Paulette made him talk to me, you know.
16:55So he sits down and he says, he says,
17:02everybody's 40s are funky.
17:03Have you?
17:04I call it the funky 40s.
17:06You know, you've built this life up for yourself and everything.
17:10And, you know, some parts of it don't work for you anymore.
17:14But then you get to the eff it 50s.
17:18And you get to your 50s.
17:20And you just say, eff it.
17:23Yeah.
17:25Thank you for sensing yourself.
17:26Yeah, yeah.
17:28You just say, eff it.
17:29And he said, and you decide you're just going to be yourself.
17:32Go for it.
17:33And you're going to do what you want to do
17:37and take what the world gives you.
17:38Yeah.
17:39And then I wanted to go out and I wanted to venture.
17:46Like, I was at the point in my life where I was kind of, like,
17:51beyond my material pursuits.
17:53Yeah.
17:54You know, I'd, like, achieved my dreams and stuff.
17:57And I, like, I knew there was, like, another thing I was looking for.
18:00And I knew it would be inside of, like, my deepest fears.
18:05So, I wanted to do some of the things I was most terrified of.
18:10The ice thing is the most scariest thing ever.
18:12Yeah, yeah.
18:12This is...
18:13The ice thing.
18:14No, let me tell you.
18:15The one was...
18:16Oh, yeah, that's...
18:16Yeah, that right there.
18:18No, this scared me because...
18:19So, we went scuba diving at the North Pole.
18:24Right?
18:25So, we did a dive under the ice.
18:29Right?
18:29So, you have to go under the ice.
18:30So, you go under and we...
18:32You go under the ice and the ice can be up to, like, 10 feet thick.
18:38So, we're under.
18:39We went out about 40 yards away.
18:41And you have a tether on that goes back to...
18:4340 yards.
18:4440 yards away.
18:46So, it's like an upside-down ice mountain range.
18:50Right?
18:51So, we went under and I start hearing, abort dive.
18:55Abort dive.
18:56Abort.
18:57Abort.
18:58This is real.
18:58Abort dive.
18:59And I'm like, oh, no.
19:00Right?
19:00So, I went to ascend and hit ice.
19:03So, I'm under the ice.
19:05This is, like, everyone's biggest shit.
19:08So, you go, where is that?
19:10Right, right, right.
19:11Help!
19:11And I was like, oh, no, Will.
19:12Calm down.
19:13Calm down.
19:13I had to grab.
19:14So, you have a tether on.
19:15And you have to grab your tether and pull yourself back to the hole.
19:21Right?
19:22I grabbed and accidentally pulled my mask off.
19:27To oxygen.
19:28To oxygen.
19:29And I was like...
19:30And I put my mask back on my face.
19:32And I was like, oh, no.
19:33And I was like, Will.
19:34Calm down.
19:35And I was like, if I get out of here, I'm going to only do black stuff from here on
19:41out.
19:51That's so funny.
19:56What am I doing?
19:57I promise, Lord.
19:59Lord, I promise.
19:59I promise, Lord.
20:02African-American behavior from here on out.
20:05Right?
20:06Yeah.
20:07And you made it out.
20:08Oh, man.
20:09And it was...
20:09Yeah.
20:10So, I'm laying there and I'm calm down.
20:12And then I feel myself just start floating like somebody had grabbed my tether up top and
20:17started pulling.
20:19And...
20:19That's it.
20:20When I realized I was good, I just relaxed and I looked around.
20:24And when I tell you, like, the sun is coming through the ice and all of that.
20:30And it went from, like, terror to, like, the most spiritual, beautiful thing.
20:36And I was just like, whoever up there don't let go of my tether.
20:41I love you!
20:43I love you!
20:44I love you!
20:46I love you!
20:46I promise!
20:48No, Lord!
20:53Oh, man.
20:54In the Amazon, you see all sorts of bugs and snakes.
20:58And you don't like snakes.
20:59I don't like bugs.
21:01And, like, that was the rough one.
21:03I was...
21:03So, we went to the Amazon jungle.
21:06And I was...
21:06We weren't doing real expeditions.
21:08So, I was with real scientists.
21:09And I was, like, tagging along on real expeditions.
21:13We went on a hunt for an anaconda.
21:16So, we were with the...
21:18We were with the natives.
21:20And, like, they didn't even have no clothes on.
21:24Right?
21:25Like, their whole name and address was hanging out.
21:28Oh, wow.
21:28Really?
21:29In the waters?
21:30And they...
21:31So, we're going, you know, down the river.
21:35And they see the anaconda and jump out of the boat into the water.
21:39And swim for the anaconda.
21:41No, no, no.
21:42Yeah.
21:42So, you're not afraid of snakes anymore?
21:44No.
21:44I mean, I've been with an anaconda.
21:46Yeah.
21:47But, I mean, like, if I say, I don't know, brought out a boa constrictor, would you be cool with
21:52it?
21:53I mean, in hypotheticals, man, we could really talk about...
21:57This is a Tonight Show.
21:58We don't live in hypotheticals.
21:59We live in reality.
22:02We always got a snake back.
22:04What if I brought out a boa constrictor?
22:06Could you have it?
22:07Could you hold it for 30 seconds without freaking out?
22:10I mean, I just don't know why you would do that.
22:13Because you're our first guest.
22:15And you're a good friend to the show.
22:17You have a boa constrictor?
22:18Let's bring out that snake.
22:19Come on, let's see what's up.
22:28Hey, how you guys doing?
22:30How you doing?
22:31Oh, my God.
22:33All right, Will, don't freak.
22:35Don't...
22:35Wow.
22:36Is it...
22:37Uh, no.
22:37No, no.
22:38Okay.
22:39Woo!
22:40Start the timer.
22:41Start the timer.
22:42Start the timer.
22:42Go.
22:4230 seconds on the clock.
22:44Go.
22:44All right, Will.
22:45It's moving.
22:46Yo.
22:47No, it's moving.
22:49It's moving.
22:50Guys, don't clap too loud.
22:51All right?
22:52No, Will, how's it feeling?
22:53He's not looking at you, but his tongue...
22:56It's really strong.
22:58Like, I've never had...
23:00Like, it's all muscle.
23:01Really?
23:02You feel this?
23:03Dude, I can feel this happening.
23:04Yeah.
23:04No, it's moving.
23:05It's constricting right in your shoulder.
23:07It's happening.
23:08It don't like my shirt.
23:10You don't like...
23:11It's a different animal!
23:12It's a different animal!
23:13You did it!
23:1430 seconds!
23:14Yay!
23:16All right.
23:17Yo.
23:18While Will's like this, I want to show everyone a clip.
23:20Here's Will Smith in Pole to Pole.
23:22Take a look at this.
23:23Oh, my gosh.
23:24The team is hoping that, like, I would find my own
23:28species.
23:30But I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.
23:35Um, because I'm not really going to look.
23:41Yeah, there's nothing here.
23:44Oh, there's a spider.
23:46You don't see that?
23:48Ooh, there's a family of them.
23:50Damn!
23:51That's like 10.
23:52Like, somewhere around 10 spiders is where I leave.
23:56Ha, ha, ha!
23:58Will Smith, everybody!
23:59Yay!
23:59Pulling the pole and streaming now on Disney+.
24:01More tonight's show after the break, everybody!
24:04Ha, ha, ha!
24:09Ha, ha!
24:20Yeah, I don't rhyme for me.
24:22No matter how I try, it gets.
24:242.15 is a set.
24:26Our next guest is a New York Times best-selling author
24:31whose brand-new novel Half His Age
24:34is available everywhere now.
24:36Please welcome Jeannette McCurdy!
24:47Buffalo.
24:52Buffalo.
24:53Come on!
24:55Good to see you.
24:56Good to see you, too. It's been so long.
24:58It's been a while, but congrats on everything.
25:01Congrats on your book. Half his age is out right now.
25:03It's a big deal.
25:06Before we get to this, I want to congratulate you
25:09on your memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died, was the title.
25:14And, man, oh, man, it was a giant success.
25:16And it was amazing. It was interesting.
25:20It was sad, but it was funny.
25:23You have such a great sense of humor,
25:25and I just heard your voice when I read it.
25:27And I was like, oh, my gosh.
25:29It was just well, well, well done.
25:30Congratulations on that.
25:31Thank you. Thank you so much.
25:36Did you expect the reaction when you wrote that book
25:39or had the idea?
25:40Well, there are sort of two different responses to this,
25:43and both are true.
25:44One is that I was completely shocked and blown away,
25:47and then the other is that I...
25:49This is going to sound kind of woo-woo,
25:50but I have, like, a manifestation journal.
25:51Okay.
25:53And in my journal at that time period in my life,
25:56I wrote, I'm Glad My Mom Died is going to become
25:58a pop cultural phenomenon.
26:00So...
26:01You put it out there.
26:02I put it out there. I put it out there.
26:04I guess this is your sign to start manifesting.
26:05All of you, if you want to start manifesting,
26:07it works, apparently.
26:08Yeah. I love it.
26:09The memoir hit 80 weeks on the bestseller list.
26:1280 weeks. That's fantastic.
26:15It's actually currently still on.
26:17Paperback just came out.
26:18Yeah. You posted a video to celebrate that,
26:20and it went viral, but it has over 50 million views.
26:22We have a little bit of this. Watch this.
26:24Oh, boy.
26:27I'm scared. Okay.
26:29I'm...
26:31I hate... This is a bad idea.
26:32I hate loud noises.
26:36Oh, my God.
26:38Yeah.
26:38Oh, my God.
26:39Yeah.
26:41What? I'm sorry. What happened?
26:43I have a loud scream. I'm very jumpy.
26:45That's my genuine scream. I'm sorry.
26:47But was it louder than you thought it was going to be?
26:50It was so much louder. It was so...
26:51Like, it's a, you know, modestly-sized confetti cannon.
26:54I figured it would have a modestly-sized sound.
26:57But instead, it would literally sound like a cannon went off.
27:00I have never written an Amazon review in my life.
27:02I came this close to writing one and just saying,
27:04Do not get this. It's too loud.
27:05You cannot do it. Save yourself.
27:06For volume, yeah. Save yourself.
27:08Well, you might have to celebrate again,
27:10because your new book, Half His Age, is out now,
27:13and is a novel, this one here.
27:15How do we describe what is Half His Age about?
27:18Hmm. I would say Half His Age is an exploration of female rage
27:22and power and desire as told through the lens of a very lonely
27:29and very ravenous 17-year-old girl,
27:31which I feel like all 17-year-old girls are lonely and ravenous,
27:34but she's particularly lonely and particularly ravenous.
27:36And when did you first come up with the idea for this one?
27:40Randomly, I was on a solo trip to Japan when I was 24,
27:43and I was on a Shinkansen, a bullet train,
27:45and that's when I first kind of knew that I was going to write this.
27:49I had the seat of the protagonist, Waldo,
27:51and then the seat of just kind of the hook of it.
27:55But it didn't come back around until about eight years later,
27:58so I've been working on it for two years.
27:59And, yeah, now it's out in the world, and I can't believe it.
28:02Yeah.
28:06It's...
28:08Your writing is very... Also, the topic is heavy,
28:10because she is dating a guy who's half...
28:15She's half his age.
28:16Yeah.
28:17And... So it's a tricky topic, but it's also very funny.
28:20Mm-hmm.
28:21Are you good at that, making comedy out of tragic moments
28:25or stressful moments or real, serious moments?
28:28Well, it's really the only way I know how to write, you know?
28:31And I like to do that.
28:33It's also the kind of art that I appreciate the most,
28:35whether it's a book or a film or a TV show.
28:37I really appreciate when somebody can take a subject matter
28:39that's inherently heavy and make it funny and make it, you know,
28:42bring some levity to it and make it more palatable in that way
28:45without watering it down or making it flippant.
28:47That's, like, that's the goal. I certainly try to do that.
28:49And when you do your audiobooks, which I also listen to as well,
28:54you do it in your voice. It's very straightforward.
28:57It's almost like I'm talking to you, and you're just, like, saying...
29:00Do you like doing that?
29:01Well, I have so many strong opinions about audiobooks.
29:04What's that?
29:05Well, okay, I feel like everybody talks at a snail's pace
29:10when you're listening. They're like,
29:11And then I went to the store. I don't know why it's so slow.
29:16So I'm always listening to audiobooks on two, like times two, right?
29:21You do?
29:22Yes.
29:22I don't do that.
29:23What? You're listening to it on one?
29:25No, I go negative two, yeah.
29:27I'm like,
29:28Then I went to the store.
29:33It's a great book, by the way.
29:34I feel like they're so slow.
29:35So my goal was to try to get people to listen to this on a one.
29:38Yes!
29:39I want you to not have to speed it up at all when you're listening.
29:42And then the other piece is that I really don't like when there's,
29:45you know, a female narrator, and she gets to, like, a guy character,
29:48and she goes,
29:49Hey, lady. And she, like, does a husky guy's voice.
29:51I find it so unsettling.
29:53Oh, I can't stand it.
29:55No, it's so good.
29:56Congratulations on this book.
29:57It is out.
29:58We can celebrate.
29:58This is a big deal.
29:59Half his age.
30:00I figured it'd be kind of something fun.
30:02Let's do a little confetti.
30:03But these are noiseless confetti.
30:05Oh, okay, great.
30:06So all you have to do is, all you have to do is flick it.
30:09Okay.
30:10You flick it, and it will...
30:11Amazing.
30:12Yes.
30:12If you want to flick it at me, I'll flick it at you.
30:14Should we stand?
30:14Should we sit?
30:15Yes, we should stand.
30:16We'll hold the book, because this is a big deal.
30:18Okay, we'll hold the book.
30:18It's finally out.
30:19You worked so hard.
30:20Where do we shoot it?
30:21That way?
30:21Towards the camera?
30:22Or are you going to do it at me?
30:23Should we?
30:23Okay, one.
30:24I'm going to do it up there.
30:24Ready?
30:25Okay, one.
30:25Can I shoot it at you?
30:26Are you doing one, two, three, or three, two, one?
30:27Three, two, one.
30:28Okay, three, two, one.
30:30Congrats!
30:31Oh, my...
30:31Yes!
30:36Jeanette McCurdy!
30:37Half his age is available everywhere now!
30:40We'll be right back with Josh Hart.
30:42Stick around!
30:46Whether you disapprove of your show of love,
30:48Your appreciation is just but a token of...
30:51Brace yourself.
31:00Our next guest is a standout guard
31:03and fan favorite for the New York Knicks.
31:05Please welcome Josh Hart!
31:17Nice job, Hart! Come on!
31:22Thank you, thank you, thank you.
31:24Thank you for being here.
31:26I'm always so happy to see you.
31:28Usually, I'm at the garden when I see you,
31:30and I just want to kind of ignore you.
31:33Because I want you to play well and not look at me.
31:36Because I'm like, hi!
31:37You know?
31:38I like the interact with you guys.
31:39Yeah.
31:40Do you?
31:40Yeah.
31:41But how are you feeling?
31:42Come on.
31:42Are you giving us a championship?
31:44Come on.
31:44That's the goal.
31:47New York, you know?
31:48They love their Knicks, and it's, you know...
31:51Are you feeling it?
31:52Are you feeling like you got this?
31:54Yeah, I think, you know, we had a rough couple games,
31:56but I think where our mentality is,
31:59I think we're going to respond very well
32:01and continue to improve for the rest of the season.
32:04You and your next teammate, Jalen Brunson,
32:07you guys were roommates.
32:09Right?
32:09Mm-hmm.
32:10He called you a hoarder.
32:12Are you a hoarder?
32:14What...?
32:15Um, I have a lot of stuff.
32:19At times, it's hard for me to part with some of those things.
32:22Um...
32:23That's what a hoarder is.
32:24Yeah.
32:25Um...
32:26Yes.
32:26But he was always in my room,
32:28because I had the snack drawer,
32:29and he just, he always came in there, grabbed snacks,
32:32so he never complained about it when he was doing that.
32:34But now...
32:35All of a sudden.
32:35Yeah, all of a sudden, I'm the hoarder, so...
32:38You have twin sons, Hendrix and Hayes,
32:41two of the cutest kids I've ever seen.
32:44There was one clip that went viral from a game last month.
32:47You know what I'm going to talk about?
32:48Yep.
32:48You were sitting on the bench with Hayes,
32:51and all of a sudden, you realized you had to go back in the game.
32:53Yeah.
32:54Just take a look at this.
32:56Hey, when Red did that,
32:57you got your shoes untied and everything.
32:59You got to try to get back out there.
33:03Wait, wait, wait, wait.
33:05What? What? What?
33:06You're like, here, hold on, take it.
33:08What?
33:09What?
33:10Yeah, uh...
33:12That?
33:13What? What?
33:13I didn't know what was happening.
33:15What?
33:15Um, so, normally in a basketball game, you know,
33:19when you're up by, like, 15,
33:20I think it was like a minute and a half left in the game, right?
33:24So, we were playing, I think, the Magic.
33:26They took their starters and everything out.
33:28And when you do that, you kind of wave in the white flag.
33:31Yeah.
33:31So, Mike took, you know, all of us out.
33:35And it was kid day, so my kids were there.
33:37They normally don't come to the game.
33:38So, I was like, oh, this is so cool.
33:40We're winning.
33:41I had them on the bench.
33:43Hendricks did not want to be on the bench,
33:44but Hayes was loving it.
33:45A minute left.
33:46A minute left.
33:47Yeah, I'm just like, it's over soon.
33:49And then we have a turnover.
33:51They score.
33:52Turnover, they score.
33:53They're shooting free throws.
33:54And I'm just like, oh, God, please don't make me go back in.
33:58I'm like, I'm so mentally checked out.
34:01My kid's right here.
34:02And I'm looking at Mike, like, looking down.
34:05And he put Jalen in the game and put Cat.
34:07And I'm just like, oh, for the love of God, please don't.
34:11There's 19 seconds left.
34:12There's no way.
34:13And then he yells, Josh.
34:14I'm like, oh, no.
34:15And I just, I threw my kid to the closest person.
34:19And it was Mitchell Robinson.
34:21It was Mitchell Robinson.
34:22Yeah.
34:22Not my first choice.
34:24Does he?
34:27But the funniest thing is, like, if you look at Mitch's face
34:30when I do it, he's so clueless.
34:31He has a kid.
34:33He looked so lost.
34:34He had no idea what to do.
34:35He was just like, oh, God.
34:36And then, like, pass it to the next person.
34:39And poor kid was just, yeah.
34:41Just all the way around the garden.
34:42It was like everyone did a wave.
34:44They just passed Hayes around.
34:45And like, it was a tough 19 seconds.
34:46Yeah, yeah.
34:48I was wondering, do you have any things that you're superstitious?
34:51Anything you have to do before a game?
34:53Uh, I eat Mike and Ike's before every game.
34:56You eat Mike and Ike's?
34:57Eat Mike and Ike's before every game.
34:58That's your candy?
34:59Yep.
34:59That's my candy of choice since I was 14.
35:02So, yep, do that.
35:04I always, but you would eat that before every game?
35:08Yeah, before every game.
35:09In college, I used to do it.
35:11Coach Wright wouldn't really let me.
35:13So I used to, like, take a box, like, dump them out
35:15of my parka jacket and, like, periodically go back and forth
35:18from my locker.
35:19Doesn't sound the most like, you know, it kind of sounds nasty.
35:23Now that I say it out loud.
35:24No.
35:24But, you know, that, um, I got to eat popcorn.
35:28My dad sent me scriptures that I read before every game.
35:31And then I just, I go out and hoop.
35:33Yeah, but I heard that you, Mike and Ike reached out to you
35:37and made you, like, the president of candy operations.
35:40Yes, they did.
35:41And it was a dream come true.
35:43I have them on me at all times.
35:46Come on.
35:47You will never see me without these.
35:49Is that right?
35:50Yeah.
35:51I have a little bit.
35:52I'll tell you, they'll change your life.
35:53You're the best, bud.
35:54Come on.
35:55I love you.
35:55Best of luck for the rest of it.
35:57Go Knicks.
35:57You got this, bud.
35:58Appreciate it.
36:00That's her.
36:01You can catch the NBA on NBC all season long.
36:06These are nice right here on NBC.
36:07We'll be right back with a performance from the Lemonheads.
36:21We'll be right back with a performance from the Lemonheads.
36:26Our next guests are here with a tribute to the late rock icon,
36:31Rocky Erickson, performing Rocky from their new album, Love Chant.
36:36Please welcome the Lemonheads.
37:07Feels nice.
37:11I've been stuck on cross
37:15I've been nailed to the sounding board
37:19I've been stung, I've been left
37:23I've been matched, I've been nailed abroad
37:28Though I try to understand
37:36Who I'm with or where I am
37:42I don't know, or I'll tell
37:47All these years before
37:50Can it get any worse than it was
37:56Than a fever first to go
37:59And it led me on to the world
38:03I don't feel humble right now
38:07But I almost think I could
38:11I don't feel humble right now
38:20I don't feel humble right now
39:00It's a dance, it's a trip
39:04And I just renewed my membership to the club
39:09That I joined with the casual flip
39:14Of the worthless porn
39:16And I'm stuck to the tacky floor
39:20And I'm tired and I'm unto the war
39:24But it's true, so I'll just stay here with you
39:50Come on, that is how you do it right there
39:54Come on, that's what I'm talking about
39:56The Lemonheads, I loved it
39:59That's the jam right there, that riff
40:01Burn that ring
40:02Yeah, Love Chance is out now
40:05My thanks to Will Smith, Jeanette McCurdy
40:08Josh Hart, The Lemonheads
40:10The Lemonheads
40:13The Lemonheads
40:13The Root Drive there
40:15From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
40:17Thank you for watching
40:18Stay tuned for Late Night with Seth Meyers
40:21Good night, everybody
40:22Get involved
40:23Better get involved
40:25Get, get, get involved
40:27Get in, do it
40:29Go!
40:32Huh
40:32Uh-huh
40:36Get involved
40:44Set
40:51Get in, do it
40:52Get in, do it
40:53Get in, do it
40:53Get in, do it
40:53Get in, do it
40:54Get in, do it
40:54Get in, do it
40:54Get in, do it
40:54Get in, do it
Comments