00:00I unfortunately go into therapist mode because I feel sometimes people are
00:03coming to me for advice. So I'm giving advice. I know. Excuse my advice. That's the hot point.
00:11Whenever I vent to a close friend, she immediately switches into therapist mode,
00:16analyzing my feelings, offering frameworks, and telling me what I should do.
00:20I know she means well, but sometimes I just need her to listen and validate me,
00:24not fix me. How do I ask her to show up as a friend instead of a therapist
00:27without hurting the relationship? I unfortunately go into therapist mode,
00:31which is why I know you were pointing at me. Because I feel sometimes people are coming to me
00:37for advice. So I'm giving advice. I know. Excuse my advice. That's the whole point.
00:42I know. And you give good advice. But the point is evidently she's getting offended. It's too much.
00:48So I think after you've given advice once perhaps, because I'm sure the same topic keeps coming up
00:54and up and up and up. Should I go out with this guy or whatever? Or should I go to
00:57my in-law's
00:58house for dinner and I don't want to go? Once you've given your opinion once, that's it. Don't,
01:03every time she picks up the phone and talks, you don't go back to that same conversation.
01:07Yeah. I think in this situation, like it would not hurt the relationship to just be quiet.
01:13Listen. Yeah. Yeah. Listen. And on the other side,
01:16like don't be afraid to be honest about what you need from your friend.
01:19If someone asked me to stop giving advice in the moment, I would stop giving them advice.
01:25I would just listen. But I think then maybe to my other friends, I'd be like,
01:28why didn't she come to me if she didn't want advice? Well, that's not nice. I think, you know,
01:33advice goes to a certain degree. And then you have to sort of lay back and listen to what she's
01:37really
01:37saying to you. Yeah. She probably really doesn't want your advice. She just wants you to hear what
01:43her issues are. I don't want my advice to come off like a judgment ever. Because it's really not.
01:47Like I truly want to support my friends and I want to be there for them. And I want to
01:52help them.
01:52I don't care about the people that they're like upset about or whatever. I care about them.
01:56So it's never to be judgmental or make them feel bad. It's truly to help them get out of a
02:03situation
02:04or in a better situation or whatever it may be. But if it doesn't come across that way,
02:08that would make me sad. Modern problems. Classic solutions. Got a situation. We've got opinions. Send it in.
Comments