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00:01This video is brought to you by S.T.A.L.D.
00:35Welcome, Watchers of Illusion, to the Castle of Confusion.
00:40Phase across time with us once more, for this is the age of adventure.
00:46I, Treyguard, master of the dungeon, give you audience.
00:51Watch now, you armchair adventurers, while others braver than yourselves challenge the
00:58secrets of my lair.
01:01A quest is now in progress, so here's a progress report.
01:06Our first team came from Bedfordshire.
01:09They boldly went and bravely tried, but though they bribed their way to fame, they still forgot
01:15the vital flame.
01:17And so, when darkness blackly fell, their game was up, and so, farewell.
01:25Now the dungeon is challenged by Dungeoneer Mae, and her three advisors.
01:30Four adventurers from Lancashire.
01:32They're out to prove that northern grit can conquer all by brawl and wit.
01:37And now time turns, the fire burns, time out is gone, the quest is on.
01:46Well done team, but heed my warning, the way ahead could well be mine, so step quickly Dungeoneer.
01:55Explosions make an awful mess, and we've been having a few problems lately, with the cleaners.
02:01Right.
02:01Turn slightly left.
02:03Walk forward.
02:04Walk forward.
02:05Forward.
02:07Carry on.
02:08Keep going.
02:09You're nearly...
02:11Where am I?
02:13Uh, you...
02:14In a room with two doors, and...
02:17In front of me.
02:19Go forwards.
02:20There's...
02:20Move.
02:21Go forwards.
02:23No, snow!
02:24Stop.
02:25Back.
02:25Turn to your...
02:26Left.
02:28Left.
02:28Go forwards.
02:29Go forwards.
02:31Keep going.
02:34In a room with a fireplace, two doors, and something's obstructing it.
02:40Oh!
02:40It's fallen down.
02:41Right.
02:43So...
02:44Warning team, worms be present on level one. All contact is deadly. Those who linger longer in this chamber may
02:53linger forever.
02:55Right, where do you want me to move?
02:56So we're going to go through this door. We'll go straight forward.
03:02Stop.
03:05Quick, turn left, quick.
03:07Right, right, right, forward.
03:09No, right again. That's it, walk slightly forward.
03:12Stop. Now, turn left.
03:15Now, go forward and keep going.
03:17That's it, keep going, keep going.
03:20Where am I?
03:22You're in a green room with a table on. Now, if you go forward.
03:25Yeah, I can see the table.
03:27Forward, go forward.
03:29Let's turn on. Stop.
03:32Now, turn to the right.
03:33Now, go forward.
03:34I can see the table on the right. Stop.
03:37Now, turn right.
03:38Now, can you describe the optics?
03:40Right, there's bread, a square bar of soap, a coal, like an afro-coal, and a bar of gold.
03:50Take the bread.
03:51You have delayed too long in this chamber.
03:54Manifestation is now occurring.
03:57Stand quite still, Dungeoneer.
04:03Yeah, you are fortunate, Dungeoneer.
04:06This is a wall monster, category level one.
04:11Such minor malignants feed on life force, but usually allow their victims to survive.
04:17Because they're not very bright, they delight in stupidity.
04:22Your stupidity.
04:24This one is called Olgoth.
04:27Defeat him with wit, and you may gain knowledge.
04:31This one is most definitely not called Olgoth.
04:35I am Granitas of Ledgerink, and am not to be confused with some crumbling fuzzle, some stone-deft, pebble-brained
04:48lump, some Jurassic has been.
04:52I am also aware that for some reason, some humans find my name amusing.
05:01Be warned.
05:03I am not amused.
05:07Right, which one then?
05:08Shall we take another one?
05:09Um, have you got the bread?
05:11I've got the bread, yeah.
05:12The gold.
05:12Um, we'll take the gold.
05:14What about the sulk of the...
05:16I have riddles, of different kinds, of different legends.
05:23Three riddles have I, and truth is what I seek.
05:28One truth will cast you off.
05:32Two may aim.
05:34Three commands me.
05:37Fail all three, and I feed on you.
05:44Listen, team, with one solution you may proceed.
05:48With two, you gain some knowledge which may be of health.
05:52Solve all three, and this humorless creature will provide you with something of real value.
05:58A triple failure will be at the very least unpleasant.
06:04Here is my first.
06:07What runs, yet has no legs, and has a bed, but never rests.
06:17A river.
06:18A river.
06:20A river.
06:20A river.
06:21A river.
06:21Truth accepted.
06:23Right.
06:24Here is my second...
06:25Should we take the soap?
06:26Hang on, Maeve.
06:27Wait for the riddle.
06:29Wait for the second riddle.
06:32Here is my second.
06:34What is the man-like monster of the snows, whose face and fall nobody knows?
06:43The Yeti.
06:44Oh, er, what's the second?
06:46Yeah, the vulnerable snowman.
06:47The Abominable Snowman or Yeti.
06:50Speak up.
06:51The Abominable Snowman.
06:53Truth accepted.
06:54Good.
06:55Here is my third.
06:59Name me now the sword that was found in stone, yet lost in water.
07:07Excalibur.
07:08Excalibur.
07:09Truth accepted.
07:10Good.
07:11Three is the score.
07:13You may know more.
07:16All that glitters is not gold.
07:19Don't take the gold.
07:21But those that incur foul language may have to wash the mouth out.
07:27Soap.
07:28We need the soap.
07:28We need the soap.
07:29Don't forget, Maeve, by scoring three, you've earned a bonus.
07:33To receive it, you must call out, I command you.
07:39So I call out that now?
07:40Yeah, yeah.
07:41See what happens, Glenn.
07:42I command you.
07:43I command you.
07:44Oh, very well.
07:47Magic have I none, yet this I know.
07:52All that glitters is not gold.
07:55And she that lies in wait values her appearance more than base metal.
08:04Soap.
08:04That could be the soap or cone.
08:06That's the cone that they don't want, er, going about appearance.
08:09So don't take the cone.
08:10Don't take the gold.
08:11Yeah.
08:12Should we go for the soap?
08:14Just take the soap.
08:15Right.
08:15I'll pick it up now.
08:16Yeah.
08:17Just the soap.
08:18Right.
08:18Right.
08:19Hurry, team, when Granita sleeps.
08:22Turn to your right.
08:23Oh, God awakens.
08:25Choose wisely but swiftly now.
08:27Turn right again.
08:27Yes.
08:28And again, yeah.
08:28Forward.
08:31Stop.
08:32Turn to your right.
08:34Right.
08:34Turn right.
08:35Forward.
08:38Where am I?
08:39Don't go any further.
08:41Right.
08:41Stop there.
08:42Yeah.
08:43It's a kind of room that's changing.
08:45It's a chasm kind of thing.
08:47Yeah.
08:48There's a great big drop at your feet.
08:51At my feet?
08:52At your feet.
08:52Yeah, I wouldn't move at all.
08:54Right, shall I go back?
08:55Yes.
08:55One set.
08:56Just one set back.
08:59That's it.
08:59Yeah, that's better.
09:00Yes.
09:00Right.
09:01Is she going to have to go through this wall?
09:03I think she can.
09:04There's something moving on opposite you.
09:06I mean.
09:07In front of me.
09:08It's a chasm kind of thing.
09:38Oh, God.
09:38Oh, God.
09:38windows.
09:40Listen, rude intruder.
09:43There is just some chance you may be able to do me some service.
09:48Do you have gifts?
09:51What precisely do you have?
09:55A block of soap.
09:57A block of soap?
10:00Kindly explain how I am to comb my hair with that.
10:05Oh, dragon's breath.
10:07I lose all patience with you.
10:09I will just have to throw you out.
10:11I have no time for those who bumble.
10:15So boulders crack and that ledge crumble.
10:22Now it's a blue to drop in.
10:29Oh dear, what a pity.
10:32Never mind.
10:33Maeve appears to have suffered a fatal fall.
10:36What a shame you didn't take the comb when it was so obviously needed.
10:40Now your adventure is over.
10:43But I'm glad to say that's not the end of Maeve.
10:46Look in your magic mirror and you'll see that although she perished in the dungeon,
10:51she has survived in the reality you call your time.
10:56Time now for you to join her.
10:59Spell casting.
11:01D-I-S-M-I-S-S.
11:08Farewell, Maeve.
11:09Take with you those scrolls as proof of your short journey through the dungeon.
11:14You did well, but I'm afraid you fell from grace.
11:18The path behind leads back to your time, your world.
11:22So farewell, Maeve, Christina, Lee, and David.
11:29Oh well, life goes on, or not as they say.
11:33And there are still deeds to do before time flies.
11:37The dungeon wins and challenge is still.
11:40But who shall be next to pick up the gauntlet?
11:44Enter, stranger.
11:47Who dares the dungeon next?
11:50Simon Nichols.
11:51Stand not on ceremony then, or time becomes our enemy.
11:55Call your advisers to us now.
11:59Simon, Jonathan, Stephen, come.
12:03And name yourselves, please.
12:05Simon Tobin, from Hetmanwyke, Yorkshire.
12:09Jonathan Tolbert, from Liversidge in Yorkshire.
12:12Stephen Squire, also from Hetmanwyke, Yorkshire.
12:15Oh, now that we have the next team, we can commence.
12:18You will have read the rules of Ritual and the Adventurer's Code.
12:22But first, for those who merely watch, a brief reminder.
12:27Here is the helmet of justice which blinds you to the way ahead.
12:31Here is the knapsack for food to feed your life force.
12:35Two objects only may you carry if you discover objects in the dungeon.
12:40Choose cautiously and use the magic or the weapons of your enemies with care.
12:45A word of warning, the dungeon is obscure, so any knowledge of previous quests will be of little use.
12:53Simon, your life force energy is conditioned green and your spirits are high.
12:59The silver spurs of squiredom await your success.
13:03But remember, once embarked, the only way is onward.
13:08There is no turning back.
13:11Well, Simon, are you ready to enter the quest?
13:15Yes.
13:16Very well.
13:19Turn then.
13:21Face the door.
13:23And take a step forward.
13:29Where am I?
13:31You're in a room with four exits in the wall you're facing.
13:37Three of them, a grill has just appeared across them, so you can't get out of them.
13:41And then the third one, there's a large gold keyhole in it.
13:48On the floor, three parts of a key have just appeared.
13:52Yeah.
13:54Go forward.
13:59Stop.
14:00Turn left.
14:03Go forward.
14:05Stop.
14:06You just picked up part of the key.
14:08Turn fully round.
14:10OK.
14:10Go forward again.
14:14Stop.
14:16Right.
14:16Turn left.
14:19Go forward.
14:22Stop.
14:24Turn to your right.
14:28Go forward.
14:31Stop.
14:32Turn to your right.
14:37Go forward.
14:41Turn completely round.
14:43Turn completely round.
14:44The doorway has just been cleared.
14:49Right.
14:50Turn.
14:51Stop.
14:51Turn a bit more to your right.
14:54Right.
14:54Go forward.
14:58Well done, team.
14:59Now you must make haste and find food if this quest is to be successful.
15:05Go forward.
15:12Where am I?
15:13You're on a ledge.
15:15There's...
15:16It's a ledge around the edge of a cavern.
15:19And off the edge of the ledge is a large giant's head, so you've got to be quiet as well.
15:25Oh, dear.
15:26It hasn't taken you long to get into trouble, has it?
15:30One of the problems with dungeons is that people and things do tend to get shut up in them.
15:35This thing, as you realize, is a giant.
15:39I know people think that giants don't exist, but unfortunately they do.
15:43And vastly inconvenient things they are to boot.
15:47Especially when they accidentally tread on you.
15:52Go away, humans.
15:56Humans is nuisance.
15:59Who's that?
16:00Humans is worse than monsters.
16:03These monsters is monstrous.
16:05And you can tread on them.
16:08Humans is just too small.
16:14Careless, too.
16:17Humans should stay away from real-sized peoples.
16:22Charming, isn't he?
16:24But not, I'm afraid, harmless.
16:26Giants, if hungry, will occasionally eat you.
16:29But apart from that, they're not particularly antisocial.
16:32Just, unfortunately, rather big.
16:35They also have appallingly bad breath.
16:38And rather poor grammar.
17:08The troubles with humans is...
17:10Go a bit left.
17:13Forward.
17:17Okay, now where am I?
17:20You're in a room with a bricked-up door in the far wall.
17:24And on the right wall, there's an open doorway.
17:27There's a window in the left wall.
17:29And there's a table with some objects in the centre of the room.
17:34So, there's...
17:35Go over to the table.
17:36Yeah.
17:37Just a minute.
17:37There's some food, a key, a symbol, and a silk cloth.
17:43Is it?
17:43Yeah.
17:45Right, go forward.
17:52Stop.
17:53Turn right.
17:55Go forward.
17:57Stop.
17:59Turn right.
18:02Ah, yeah.
18:03I can see it.
18:04Table's in front of you.
18:05Yeah.
18:06Now, take the food.
18:07Okay.
18:13You have delayed too long in this chamber.
18:17Manifestation is now occurring.
18:19Stand quite still, Dungeoneer.
18:25There's a face appearing on the wall behind you.
18:28You are relatively fortunate.
18:31This is a wall monster category, level one.
18:35Not an insurmountable problem, although it will feed on life force if you let it.
18:40This one is probably called Granitas, but it has no sense of humour, so don't laugh at its name.
18:49I am Olgoth of legend.
18:55Granitas is mere clay, by contrast, and unworthy to be called a rock.
19:01I, Olgoth, am older than mountains, and thus hold the history of all knowledge.
19:10Ah, well.
19:11Wrong again.
19:12The trouble with wall monsters is that though they're long on years, they're awfully short on personality.
19:18And then one wall looks very like another.
19:21As do Dungeon Masters.
19:25I have riddles of different times, of different legends.
19:32Three riddles have I, and truth is what I seek.
19:37One truth will pass you on.
19:40Two may aid you.
19:41Three commands me.
19:44Fail all three, and I feed on you!
19:51Listen, team.
19:52With one solution you may proceed.
19:54With two, you gain some knowledge which may be of help.
19:58So of all three, and this dreary creature may provide you with something of real value.
20:04Fail three times, and he'll probably do away with you.
20:08Here is my first.
20:13The blade that cuts may feed the cow.
20:18The friend that trusts may break a vow.
20:22Tis all the same when common said.
20:26So, give the name of nature's bed.
20:30Or, what do you think it is?
20:33Um, I think it's...
20:34It might be grass.
20:35Earth.
20:36Grass.
20:37Truth accepted.
20:40Here is my second.
20:44Four elements fashioned me.
20:48May all four or else avaunt thee.
20:51Right.
20:53Air.
20:54Earth.
20:55Air.
20:56Air.
20:57Fire.
20:58Fire.
20:59Three.
21:00And water.
21:02Truth accepted.
21:05Here is my third.
21:08What is laid and served is not a table, but almost a bird.
21:17Laid and served.
21:18An egg.
21:19An egg.
21:20Truth accepted.
21:23Three is the score.
21:24You may know more.
21:27The key to the door is not always key-shaped.
21:34I hunger.
21:36Yet we may meet again.
21:40And don't forget, Simon, by scoring three, you've earned a bonus.
21:44To receive it, you must call out, I command you.
21:48What would you want to do?
21:50Um, what about unblocking that other entrance?
21:54Call out, I command you and receive your bonus.
21:57What would you do again?
21:58I shout, I command you and receive your bonus.
22:02I command you.
22:27The cloth, the silk scarf, is the lady's favour.
22:33Yeah.
22:34In the knights.
22:36So if you take that, definitely.
22:38Yeah.
22:38And the key to the door isn't key-shaped, so take the other, take the symbol as well.
22:44Okay.
22:45Right?
22:45Right.
22:46Take those two.
22:46Right.
22:48Right, I've got them.
22:50Right.
22:51Turn round.
22:53Go forward.
22:56Stop.
22:57Turn right.
23:00Go forward.
23:06Now, where am I?
23:08You're in a room with a large bomb.
23:13It's just...
23:14So turn, turn to your left.
23:16Go quickly forward.
23:20Warning, team.
23:22Complete temporal disruption approaching.
23:24Time is now the enemy.
23:27Oh dear, temporal disruption complete.
23:31Time flies, as the Romans would say.
23:34And although all continues in your world, here time has flown.
23:38All adventuring must now cease until you phase with us once more.
23:44Will our team triumph on the next level?
23:47Or will our dungeoneer come to a sticky end?
23:50And if so, why should you care?
23:54For here, nothing is real, and everything must surely be an illusion.
24:00Join us again for a nightmare.
24:04And just keep telling yourself, it's only a game.
24:08Isn't it?
24:14Is your family up for a challenge?
24:16Well, you can celebrate Olympic year by taking part in our brand new action-adventure show, House of Games.
24:22Just log on to challenge.co.uk for more details.
24:25Brain buzz after the break.
24:48You can celebrate Olympic year by taking part in our brand new action-adventure show, House of Games.