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00:09Tonight, join Ursula Carlson, Rhys Nicholson, Anne Edmonds, Ed Gavalli and Sam Payne, as we look back on the week
00:18and ask, have you been paying attention?
00:22And on the podium, your host, Tom Bryson.
00:28Good evening Australia, great to have your company as we look back over events of another busy news week and
00:34to help us unpack the major stories, how's this for a line-up?
00:37Making their show debut, actor, author and drag race, Down Under Judge, say hello to Rhys Nicholson.
00:45Touring her hit show, you don't say, we do say it's the always awesome Ursula Carlson.
00:52Soon to be seen as host of Talking About Your Gen, right here on 10, welcome back one of our
00:57favourites, Anne Edmonds.
01:00Soon to be setting off on the amazing race, it's the amazing Ed Gavalli.
01:07And finally, last week's winner, we seriously need a recount, Sam Payne is with us.
01:16Rhys, welcome to Have You Been Payne Attention?
01:19First time, how are you feeling?
01:21I've had three coffees, a Dexia and a Metamucil and they're fighting.
01:25Fantastic.
01:25Now we have actually worked together, if you remember last year on Thank God You're Here.
01:29Oh, do you guys do that?
01:31I don't think.
01:32And amongst other things, you were forced to play a TV relationships counsellor.
01:37Now, Brett, as our relationships expert, you've personally selected each of our couples.
01:43Yeah.
01:44Brett, what one quality do they all share?
01:48They are so beautiful.
01:51Brave choice going with an accent.
01:53I was just happy to be myself and not this ridiculous character that I play.
01:59Your true self for the rest of the time.
02:01Actually, Rhys, you and Ursula joined up in an episode of Thank God You're Here.
02:05And for a brief moment, you thought you were both Christian youth ministers.
02:09We are cured.
02:11Yes.
02:12Thank you, Jesus.
02:17Oh.
02:19Got that close.
02:20Look, it didn't last very long, but still, it happened.
02:23And it was tax-free.
02:25Of course.
02:26Hey, win-win.
02:27Hey, welcome back, Ursula.
02:28And this is exciting.
02:29You've made a top ten list.
02:30Am I?
02:31Do you know this?
02:31Yes.
02:32No.
02:32Top ten things to do in Brisbane.
02:34Number nine, Ursula Carlson tour.
02:36Before you applaud too hard, number eight is a Twilight Vegan market.
02:44I mean, and that cat video fest.
02:47There was also a world.
02:47The cat video fest.
02:48Wow.
02:49Yeah.
02:49I mean, it was a bit of a misread on my part.
02:51I didn't think it was going to be that what it was.
02:54Oh, I see.
02:55Hey, good to see you again, Anne.
02:57Good to see you.
02:57And we've just been given a date for talking about your gen, and that date is, of course?
03:01The 16th of September.
03:02Oh, me.
03:03Very close.
03:06And you managed to get some big-name guests for the show, including Callum from Love Island.
03:11What was Callum like to work with?
03:13Yeah, he was, I mean, I think it'll be a hard watch for Lloyd, because there was a bit
03:16of flirting with me.
03:18There was a little...
03:20And he's Welsh as well, isn't he?
03:21He's Welsh as well.
03:22Lloyd's been on the Welsh Love Island, called Root Peninsula.
03:27Welsh Peninsula.
03:28There was a little bit of a frisson.
03:31Here's a clip of the two of you in action.
03:33She reached out to me a few times.
03:36What's your cut off?
03:37I'd say 35.
03:38So your cut off is 35?
03:40I'd say so.
03:41You just lost a point.
03:43I'm doing it for mums.
03:45All right, we should get this show on the road hands-on buzzers.
03:50And let's start by asking, what have these people spent the week doing?
03:54Rhys.
03:55Practicing abstinence is...
03:57I don't think that was on the agenda, Ursula.
03:59Are they at a Fifty Shades of Beige conference?
04:02It's very unkind.
04:03They're thought leaders, Sam.
04:05I'm just looking at the make-up of them, watching the ABC.
04:10There is a certain demographic there, but there's a big event.
04:13That was amazing.
04:14I live-streamed it.
04:15It's an economic review forum.
04:18Economic reform.
04:18Oh, you're getting worse.
04:21It didn't go so well.
04:22A lot of them wanted to work from home, so they didn't have the full turn-up.
04:25Here, I'll give you the points.
04:26Oh, here's a familiar face.
04:28Dodging the rain and our questions.
04:31Are you relieved to be out?
04:32No comment.
04:33No comment.
04:34Oh, who's that being followed out of a Sydney court?
04:37Rhys.
04:38It's the Penguin.
04:39It's...
04:40Not the answer I've got here, but it does...
04:42Sam?
04:44Walking confidently, handling the press well.
04:47He's been there before.
04:48That's Mick Molloy.
04:49It's...
04:52It's not Mick Molloy.
04:54Anne?
04:55It's an MP, and I wish I knew more.
04:59Do you know more than anyone else?
05:01Yeah, and he's...
05:02I wouldn't say you less.
05:03Would the...
05:04Daryl Summers?
05:04Daryl Summers.
05:06Daryl Summers.
05:07Not Daryl Summers.
05:08Daryl...
05:09Daryl's for Ursula.
05:10Daryl Maguire.
05:11Yes, he was Ursula.
05:12Yes.
05:13Gladys' former partner.
05:14No, this guy, the guy with the shooting range.
05:16That guy.
05:17Interesting statement from US Home Affairs Secretary, Christine Noem.
05:21Today, we are also going to be painting it black.
05:24Painting what black?
05:26Ursula.
05:26Donald Trump's face.
05:27They're going through a different shot.
05:29Find the orange.
05:30Yeah, he's got the whole range of Mexican right through South America, and now he's like,
05:35you know what, let's just do it.
05:37Uh, it's not Mr. Trump's face.
05:39What are we painting black?
05:40Sam.
05:41It's the Mexican-US border wall, and they're going to get Mexico to pay for the paint.
05:47They're going to get short.
05:48Thank you, Sam.
05:49RFK Jr. was quizzed on Fox News this week.
05:52I have to ask you a question that everybody's wondering about.
05:56Why do you wear jeans when you...
05:59Why do you wear jeans when you...
06:01Anne?
06:01Make love?
06:02Is...
06:03I don't think anyone's asking that question, Anne.
06:05Why do you wear jeans when you're two years younger than Jesus?
06:08Is...
06:09He rocks a pair of denim, but...
06:11Sam?
06:12He works out in jeans.
06:14Apparently, he works out.
06:16But he looks good.
06:18What do you mean, Anne?
06:18He looks good.
06:19So you just know the sweat ditch going on in that ball area.
06:24I like it.
06:24So that's good.
06:25That's good work.
06:26Have you ever worked out in jeans, Ed?
06:27Yeah, absolutely I have.
06:28I've got denim jockstrap.
06:33Hughie, how often do you wear jeans?
06:34I've never seen you in a pair of jeans.
06:36No, I don't wear jeans.
06:37It's sort of...
06:37I don't think you do.
06:39Every time...
06:40I can't whip him round the clock.
06:42Every time we have a barbecue at Tom's house, he's in jeans?
06:45Yeah, absolutely.
06:46What about you, Reece?
06:46Well, Reece, what's your favourite brand of jeans?
06:49Uh...
06:51Uh...
06:51Probably male.
06:52Yeah.
06:56Happy with art.
06:57Thank you, Reece.
06:58Yeah, sure.
06:59All right, we do need to move on to China now.
07:06What are those soldiers rehearsing for?
07:09Reece.
07:10Nationals.
07:12They've done sectionals, then very exciting if they get through.
07:16It's a gala performance of Phantom of the Opera.
07:20It'd be a great one.
07:22Ashla?
07:22It's the anniversary of World War II.
07:25Yeah, it'll be 80 years since the end of World War II,
07:27and they're just...
07:28It looks like Irish river dance happening there,
07:30but there's a point to yours.
07:32Oh, it's been a big week in North Korea.
07:34What's Kim Jong-un inspecting here?
07:36Reece?
07:37It's below deck Pyongyang.
07:39It's a very austere series, Reece.
07:42That's fun.
07:42It's a...
07:43Is that a five-star hotel in North Korea?
07:46Do you remember we showed this a few...
07:48About six weeks ago, something bad happened.
07:51Here we go, come on.
07:52Something bad happened?
07:53Well, he was launching something, and it didn't go well.
07:55Do you remember what he launched, and it tipped over?
07:57A warship.
07:58That's it.
07:59Ursula, points are yours.
08:01To Sweden.
08:02And why is this historic church in the news?
08:05Anne?
08:06I think someone knocked it up from Ikea.
08:09It is Swedish, but it's...
08:10And at the end, they just had two doors,
08:11and they were like, where did these go?
08:14Not Ikea-related, but it made headlines around the world this week.
08:18Reece?
08:18I know the answer to this one.
08:19Leece?
08:20They moved this whole church,
08:22I think because there's too much admin
08:25and moving the priest individually.
08:27It's just...
08:28Move the whole building at once.
08:30It's going to be far easier.
08:32Reece, you've got it.
08:33It's been relocated because where it was,
08:35the ground was unstable.
08:37And actually, they filmed it.
08:39It took two days and put it on primetime TV in Sweden.
08:43Yeah, and what happened?
08:43Outrated 10 News+.
08:45Oh, no!
08:46Reece, you can have the words.
08:48Oh, busy week for His Majesty King Charles.
08:55Who wants it?
08:56He's marking...
08:58Please.
08:59Go on, Reece.
08:59Please, hold on.
09:00He's marking the start of what occasion?
09:02Go on, Reece.
09:03They're renewing their vows.
09:07Welcome, Reece.
09:09Welcome to the club.
09:10Sam, what is going on there?
09:12If no-one's going to take this seriously,
09:13I'm a staunch monarchist.
09:15It's the start of pony hunting season.
09:20Our dear sovereign is marking the start
09:22of his summer holidays at Balmoral.
09:24Indeed.
09:24He then got to judge the Prince Harry look-alike competition.
09:28He's good.
09:29Very close.
09:30We've got to take a break.
09:31Back with more Happy Birthdays.
09:32I know.
09:34APPLAUSE
09:47You've probably heard just a bit about the government's...
09:50Economic Reform Roundtable.
09:52To discuss how to make the economy more productive.
09:54A lot of ideas being put forward.
09:56Get a second job.
09:57Stealing bank cards.
09:58Collecting libubus.
09:59Busk on the street.
10:00These ideas are...
10:02Delusional and arrogant.
10:03The thing is, a lot of this is coming from...
10:05A bunch of idiots that do not give a damn.
10:11We're back to watching Have You Been Payne Tension?
10:13Just before we return to questions.
10:15Ed, it's been a big week for you.
10:17Do the words Essendon Fields Business Breakfast mean anything?
10:21Oh!
10:22Hello.
10:23Yes, it was a very high-profile shopping centre breakfast event
10:29that I hosted.
10:31For some local retailers, for those of us not lucky enough...
10:34Don't.
10:34..to be there.
10:35Oh, shut up.
10:36Ladies and gentlemen, if you wouldn't mind taking your seats.
10:39Seat that would be great.
10:41Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
10:48You had the room in the palm of your hand.
10:50Shut up.
10:52Mate, this is a breakfast.
10:53They're getting earlier, by the way.
10:54You'll be doing a dawn service soon.
10:58Here's a moment from after...
10:59No more footage!
11:01This is after the event.
11:03I reckon he's been paid in merch.
11:06Look, Essendon Fields, they've got to do...
11:09Ed O, back me up.
11:10They've got to do...
11:10Oh, it's great there.
11:12It is.
11:13They've got a DFO.
11:14They do.
11:14They've got a bounce.
11:15Oh, that fruit...
11:17La Mana Fresh.
11:17La Mana?
11:18I grew up about five minutes from there.
11:20And do you still go there?
11:21No.
11:22Oh!
11:23Not unless Ann wants to buy a machete.
11:27She doesn't need to buy a machete.
11:29She just said she grew up there.
11:30She's got a machete.
11:33You've come out of the womb, blacking your way out.
11:37We're moving on.
11:38All right, let's get back to some more questions.
11:41Swiss watchmaker Swatch is under fire.
11:44For an allegedly racist ad.
11:47In the ad, it depicts an Asian man holding his...
11:52Come on, Sam, this is for you.
11:56Did you hear that?
11:57Did you hear that?
11:57The phrase, Sam, this is for you.
12:01An Asian man holding his...
12:02Well, I was going to say his own talk show on Channel 10.
12:06That's fine.
12:08That'll be shocking.
12:09Sam, an Asian man holding his...
12:10A briefcase full of dried fish.
12:15It's medicine.
12:17Yes.
12:17It's medicinal.
12:18His eyes.
12:20Yes.
12:20Yeah.
12:21The jury's out.
12:22Have a look.
12:22People, some are saying it's racist.
12:24Swatch would just say...
12:25Who's on the jury?
12:26Pull their hands off.
12:27Yeah.
12:28We'll have to say the jury.
12:29That is very similar to that impression you do backstage.
12:39That's a character.
12:41No.
12:43Ursula points to yours.
12:44Oh, we've been hearing a fair bit of this lately.
12:46DeLulu, skibbity and coffee badging.
12:50DeLulu, skibbity and coffee badging.
12:52Why are those terms in the news?
12:54Race.
12:54Early signs of a stroke.
12:55Is it probably...
12:57Or maybe a positive test, Ursula?
12:58That's slang.
12:59Yeah, yeah.
13:00Because my daughter uses it.
13:02She's a teenager now.
13:03And when I use it, I say, it's so skibbity.
13:06And then it looks like she's being electrocuted.
13:07You're kind of...
13:11But definitely it's slang.
13:12But why is it in our news feed?
13:14Sam.
13:14They're Anne's safe words.
13:17How do you know?
13:18No, but she doesn't...
13:19To mix things up, she doesn't tell Lloyd which one she's using.
13:23Oh, OK.
13:24Ed, why are they...
13:25In the dictionary this year.
13:27They were to the year in the dictionary.
13:28Added to the Cambridge dictionary.
13:30To a viral food tasting from Houston.
13:33Boom.
13:36Oh, no.
13:37Oh, no.
13:38What happens next?
13:39Ursula.
13:40A fatty comes in from the side and grabs all that deep fried stuff and goes...
13:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:45Does it involve someone grabbing food?
13:48Sam.
13:49I saw this, Tom.
13:50A car comes through.
13:52No way.
13:52It crashes through the restaurant.
13:53The cops arrive and I'll let you guess which one they shoot.
14:05I'm actually going to pay the very first part of that answer from Sam.
14:11No, you pay the whole thing or I don't want the points.
14:14It was wrong.
14:15A car smashes into the restaurant.
14:17Take a look.
14:19No one lost any followers.
14:21It's okay, though.
14:22All fine.
14:23Bring the whole new meaning to drive through.
14:25It does.
14:26It does indeed.
14:27Thank you, Rhys.
14:29All right.
14:29It's time to look at all things A-list.
14:37And tonight's show for this segment is brought to you by the new Mitsubishi Outlander.
14:41It's a bit rock and roll.
14:47That's AI needs to be used for good, and that is a misuse.
14:52It was Irene's last night on Home and Away.
14:55We're out there over the horizon.
14:58No regrets?
15:02What?
15:03Please.
15:04What were her final words?
15:06Rhys?
15:06Fkibbity, DeLulu.
15:09Not quite so contemporary.
15:11Final words for Sam?
15:12I'm pregnant.
15:14That's a bombshell of Summer Bay.
15:16I'm moving to Ramsey Street.
15:20Someone shortly was watching this.
15:22Look, through tears, I remember watching this, and she said, life's too short for regrets.
15:28Ed, take a look.
15:30None, love.
15:32Life's too short.
15:42Apparently also what Ed said, leaving Essendon Field.
15:49No regrets?
15:50No regrets.
15:52I believe we have a very special video quiz master standing by.
15:56Hi, Tom.
15:57Hi, Ed.
15:59It's Tony Perrin here.
16:00What have I just announced the release of?
16:02Oh, my God.
16:04What has Tony just announced the release of?
16:05It's the Epstein file.
16:07Wow.
16:08Yeah, it's the last place you expect.
16:11By that reaction, I'm thinking the sex type.
16:14No, I wish.
16:15Well, we should explain.
16:17Ed, you told us on this show a while back that you once had a crush.
16:20Right, when I was at, this will shock you, I worked at a video store as a teenager.
16:23Doesn't shock me at all.
16:24Okay.
16:25And Tony Perrin used to come in, and she was my teenage crush.
16:29Did you put her up to that?
16:30No, she's a big fan of you, Ed.
16:32Shut up.
16:34She was at the Essendon breakfast.
16:37Anne, what has Tony Perrin just announced the release of?
16:40Music?
16:41Yes.
16:41Brand new single.
16:42Brand new single.
16:43Yes, Anne.
16:45I heard a preview.
16:45And also a manifesto.
16:47No.
16:48We could go back to Anne.
16:49And also some hostages.
16:50Okay.
16:51Anne in the middle.
16:52Let's see if you're right.
16:53My new single, More Than Enough, out on August 28th.
16:56Anne points are yours.
16:57I heard a preview on Tony's Instagram.
16:59Very good.
17:00Moving on.
17:01Post Malone has stripped down to his underwear this week to promote what?
17:06Ursula.
17:06Sagging nipples on men.
17:09It's an awareness campaign.
17:11That's looking quite high.
17:12Very bright.
17:13Laser tattoo removal.
17:14Yeah, he'd be the poster boy for that.
17:16Rhys.
17:17He started offering himself up as an adult colouring in book.
17:19And people are having a lot of fun with it.
17:22And the more work you do, some of the areas expand.
17:25Libraries.
17:27The answer is in the clue.
17:29It's those pants.
17:31It's Kim Kardashian's pants.
17:33What are they?
17:34Skims.
17:34Skims.
17:35There you go.
17:35It's a new menswear collection.
17:36Points are yours, Ursula.
17:37Oh, things got a bit steamy for Susan and Dr. Carl on Neighbours this week.
17:42Horatia.
17:48Exactly.
17:50What happens next?
17:52Rhys.
17:53She got a full internal.
17:55He really put the ram in Ramsey's drink.
18:00No, what happened, Ursula?
18:01What happened next?
18:01He dislocates her hip.
18:05It could have happened.
18:07And what happens next?
18:07No, bouncer comes in and then it's a real interesting freeway.
18:11It's a freeway.
18:12Sam, what happens next?
18:13I'd say what happens next.
18:14People change the channel.
18:16It's a bitch.
18:19Here.
18:20Classic Neighbours.
18:21They get interrupted by, I think it's his child.
18:24Love child Holly pops in.
18:26Take a look.
18:28Oh!
18:29Oh, Jesus.
18:31It looks like he's using an old camera.
18:34We've got to take a break.
18:36Back with our special guest, Quizmaster.
18:50We're back to watch it.
18:51Have you been paying attention?
18:52And it's time to meet our special guest, Quizmaster.
18:54She's a part-time medical receptionist who just a week ago was crowned Miss Universe Australia.
19:01Please welcome Lexi Brandt.
19:04Come on, Lexi.
19:06You've got the sash.
19:07You've got my sash.
19:08I didn't know you were bringing the sash.
19:10Congratulations on the win.
19:11Thank you so much.
19:12I'm so excited to be here.
19:13We're excited to have you.
19:14The ceremony was in Perth.
19:15I think we've got a shot here of the magic moment.
19:18How did you celebrate the win?
19:19We all had Maccas after.
19:21That's right.
19:22Yeah, all our directors brought in, I think, about two tables worth of pure McDonald's.
19:27And no one ate it.
19:29It's just the one fry?
19:31I only got two nuggets at the end, so they did eat it.
19:33Pure McDonald's, so not cut with anything.
19:35Is that what you're talking about?
19:37No lettuce, promise.
19:38No lettuce.
19:39And you've brought in the official crown, ladies and gentlemen.
19:43That's familiar, because I think I've seen it before.
19:46You have.
19:46So, Maria and Zoe have worn this.
19:48I'm the last one to wear it.
19:50Oh, so they use the same crown?
19:51It's sustainable fashion, folks, which is great.
19:54And let's put it on.
19:58No!
20:02And you're a winner.
20:07Kathy?
20:10Much like Jesus, there's blood running out the back of your head right now.
20:14Tom, can I ask, how would you solve world peace?
20:16There you go.
20:18Next question, please.
20:20All right, I'll put that away for safekeeping.
20:22Now, the final came down to you and one other contestant.
20:26First, Australia.
20:312025 is?
20:36It's going on a bit.
20:37We'll come back to that.
20:39What were you actually saying to each other?
20:41I think it was literally, you got this, you've got this, and we said a little prayer as well,
20:46which is all nice things, all nice things.
20:48Did you think you had it at that point?
20:49No.
20:49Still not.
20:50I had, there was not one stage where I did think I had it.
20:53Are you sure you didn't ask the, who was the, who was the other person?
20:56Ivy.
20:57Ivy.
20:58Yeah.
20:58Are you sure you didn't ask Ivy?
21:00Have you ever been to Essendon Fields?
21:04Next year, we could host it together.
21:06Are you over at the business breakfast?
21:09Oh, that sounds wonderful.
21:15Let's see if we're any closer on that big announcement.
21:18Lexi Grant!
21:19There, we got to her.
21:21There is Jan, indeed, is the moment.
21:23So you were genuinely shocked.
21:25Was it in Perth?
21:27It was in Perth.
21:28The centre of the universe?
21:31What are we talking about?
21:32Sponsored by iron ore.
21:36So, Lexi, what's next?
21:38I am preparing for Thailand at the moment, so...
21:41Are we all?
21:43No, but this is, this is when all the world comes.
21:46So this is Miss Universe, Miss Universe.
21:47Yeah, so all of the world competitors, I get to meet all of the beautiful women from all over the
21:52world.
21:52And are there any restrictions on what you're allowed to do between now and then?
21:55Not really.
21:56I can go back to my normal day working and I'm going to go back to uni.
22:00I already have.
22:01So when I was at work the other day, everyone was just like, did you just win something?
22:04Like, what's going on?
22:06What do you do for a real job?
22:09She just said she doesn't work.
22:11What is going on?
22:12And what do you do for a real job?
22:15I work at Essendon Field.
22:18Lexi, you're medical...
22:19I'm a secretary for an orthopaedic surgeon.
22:21Yeah, see?
22:22And should you be successful in Thailand, what do you win?
22:25You win a lot of things.
22:26You're the global ambassador for Miss Universe, so from my understanding, you can't really live
22:32at home anymore.
22:32You have to go all over the world, actually.
22:36The universe, in fact.
22:36Yeah, it might be the universe, I don't know.
22:39And I'm sure there is a cash prize involved, but I don't actually know.
22:43It's in Thailand, is it?
22:44It is in Thailand.
22:44Do you know that that man right there is banned from Thailand?
22:49It's self-imposed.
22:51So you will be the global ambassador for Miss Universe, should you win in Thailand?
22:55Yes, that's correct.
22:55Very exciting.
22:56And the Middle East crisis, what's your...
22:59What's your solve?
23:00All I want is world peace.
23:01There you go.
23:02All right, nothing, can't argue out.
23:05All right, Lexi has kindly agreed to ask you five some questions, so let's grab the cards
23:09and jump into it.
23:10The Eurovision host city for 2026 has just been named.
23:14Where is it?
23:16Ursula.
23:16Vienna.
23:17That's correct, yeah.
23:18Good to see you.
23:18Next question, please.
23:19Lexi might be interested.
23:20I used to co-host Eurovision for this country.
23:23There you go.
23:24Okay.
23:26She's not interested in history.
23:30Moving on.
23:31Next question, please.
23:32The latest men's health features a surprise muscle makeover.
23:36Who is the cover star?
23:37Anne.
23:38Is that you, Rhys?
23:39Yeah.
23:40Not the apps happening there.
23:42Anyone work that out, Rhys?
23:44It's Lloyd Langford.
23:46Lucky girl.
23:48It's a bit more international.
23:50Think.
23:50If I say Elvis Presley, does that help anyone?
23:53Ed.
23:55The Austin Butler.
23:58That's correct.
23:58Yes.
23:59As usual, no shoulders.
24:02Is that right on?
24:04So, is that, you, really, so he's done all the work on the abs but hasn't he collected
24:08the shoulders?
24:08He's cut, he's cut weight and he's stopped, uh, salt and he's leaning forward to hide the
24:13fact he has no shoulders.
24:16Lexi, you know, Ed was on the cover of Men's Health.
24:18Mm-hmm.
24:19Oh, okay.
24:26I'm going to get a drink after this.
24:27I really like you.
24:28Lexi, we've got a lot of questions.
24:30Let's move on.
24:31There's a new Gen Z dating term called Shrek-ing.
24:34What is Shrek-ing?
24:36Rhys?
24:36Is it when you date someone, like, below your looks?
24:41Like, you date an uglier person?
24:43Or, as we call it in comedy, um, marrying a comedian.
24:46Is that right?
24:47Look us all up and then look up our partners.
24:50It is.
24:50Is it?
24:51Well, yeah.
24:52Close enough, Lexi?
24:52I think that's close enough, but it involves dating someone less attractive than yourself
24:56in the hopes that they'll treat you better in return.
24:58Is this too personal to ask, but are you currently dating?
25:01I am.
25:02I am.
25:02And would you consider the person better or lesser looking than you?
25:07This is good.
25:08What are you doing?
25:09This is good.
25:10What's the name of who you're dating?
25:12What's the name of the...
25:12My boyfriend's name is Sam.
25:14No.
25:18Nice.
25:18Is he...
25:19What's he do?
25:20He plays football.
25:21What's his real job?
25:25I think we do need to move on.
25:27Lexi?
25:27This family photo made headlines.
25:30They're the new cast of what show?
25:33Rhys?
25:33It's called Keeping Up With The Nicholsons.
25:35Now, him here.
25:36There is a redhead theme here.
25:38Anne?
25:39No, it's stranded on Ranga Island.
25:41You're all circling it, Ursula.
25:43No, it's So You Think You Can Tan.
25:49Nice.
25:50Nice.
25:52All right, Rhys.
25:53I like that.
25:54Well, you've heard of Muppet Babies.
25:56This is One Nation Babies.
25:57Okay.
25:58Oh, is it Harry Potter?
26:01It looks Harry Potter-ish.
26:02It's Harry Potter linked.
26:03What the full answer is?
26:03Oh, the Grints or whatever they're called?
26:04Oh, I don't know.
26:05Sam, please.
26:06Ping.
26:06Ping.
26:06It's the Weasel family.
26:07Oh, you're so close.
26:09It's members of the Weasley family from the HBO's new Harry Potter series.
26:14Weasel.
26:14Weasel.
26:15Weasel.
26:16Sam, we will pay you that HBO's new Harry Potter series.
26:19Next question, please.
26:20To Hollywood at 4am.
26:23Big.
26:25Bah.
26:25Woo.
26:28What have we just watched?
26:31Rhys.
26:31My dreams.
26:32No.
26:34But more specifically, anyone know this, Sam?
26:37Look, I think someone really needs to check on Morgan Freeman.
26:40Not Morgan, but you're in the right country.
26:43Anyone know what we're looking at there?
26:44Uh, Ursula?
26:45That's Lil Nas and he's clearly off his rocker.
26:49Allegedly.
26:50Lexi Andrews?
26:50That's correct.
26:51Rapper and singer Lil Nas X was later arrested after a police altercation.
26:55And we featured.
26:56Remember Lil Nas X?
26:57Oh, yeah, we do.
26:58What do you got there?
26:59It's now called C is for Ketamine.
27:01Yeah.
27:01Oh, that's great.
27:03Ursula, we'll pay that.
27:04It's Lil Nas X.
27:05We've got to take a break.
27:06Best of luck in Thailand.
27:08Would you please thank Miss Universe Australia.
27:09Lexi Drake.
27:23We're back.
27:24That's that kind of a show where we like to put each of our contestants under the spotlight
27:28one by one.
27:29And this week saw the end of an era on Home and Away with the departure of Irene.
27:34So we thought, what better reason to dip back into the archives for a bit of...
27:43Summer Bay watch.
27:45Yours are simple.
27:46We'll show you each a classic clip.
27:48You answer a question.
27:49Anne, let's start with you.
27:55And we're going all the way back to 1994 when Alf Stewart and Irene are making plans for
28:02Summer Bay's annual Christmas barbecue.
28:04There's no rule that says Santa has to be a bloke.
28:07Yeah, it probably could be a bit of a hoot.
28:09So, what do you say?
28:14Oh, why don't you sit down on me knee and tell me if you've been a good little boy this
28:18year, Alfie.
28:19It looks like you've got a welcoming party.
28:21I'm going to feel like royalty when I step a shot.
28:25Oh no.
28:26What's the matter?
28:27She snuffed it.
28:28Well, you'd better hurry up and find out, mate.
28:31If we keep drifting at this rate, we're going to spend Boxing Day in New Zealand.
28:35Oh, how stressful.
28:37It's stressful.
28:37How does Irene make it back to shore?
28:40Well, what happens is they float around for a bit.
28:44She finds her way onto F-Boy Island.
28:47Oh, okay.
28:48And hops across.
28:49And then some blokes help her out.
28:52And it's a back story.
28:54She's admitted earlier that she doesn't know how to swim.
28:56So, what does Irene do to get ashore?
28:59I guess she could have oars.
29:03Oh, rows ashore?
29:04I don't think you're allowed to call them that anymore.
29:07So, you think she rows ashore?
29:09Yeah, she rows ashore and the lip...
29:11And she...
29:12Yeah.
29:13Okay.
29:14And he goes with her, the little guy.
29:16The little guy.
29:16All right.
29:17And let's take a look.
29:18Okay.
29:18Stand up and I'll hook you up.
29:21Ah!
29:23Ah!
29:24Ah!
29:25Ah!
29:26Okay.
29:27Yeah, they had a bigger budget back then, didn't they?
29:29Yeah, they did.
29:30I can't look off them in.
29:31Sadly, Anne, I can't give you the points.
29:33Ed Cavill.
29:34Hello.
29:35So many stars got their start on Home and Away, and none bigger than Hollywood hunk Chris Hemsworth.
29:40Oh.
29:40Here's Chris's character lending a helping hand with some odd jobs around Summer Bay Hotspot,
29:45the beachside diner.
29:47All ready to go?
29:48What?
29:49Hosing down the safety gear outside.
29:50I mentioned it this morning.
29:51Oh, yeah.
29:52Just give me five.
29:53All right, I'll see you out there.
29:56All right, mate.
29:56Thank you there.
29:58Well, that's the last of it, mate.
30:00Oh, good on you, mate.
30:01Well, uh, if you want to tee up the pressure hose, we'll run it over this lot, and then
30:05all we've got left is the rescue truck.
30:06Sure.
30:07Oh, listen, mate, I meant to mention it earlier, too.
30:09Did Rachel get hold of you?
30:11Yeah.
30:12Oh, good.
30:13None of my business, but she seemed a bit put out.
30:15You weren't at the gym.
30:16Is everything all right?
30:17Okay, Ed, he's about to turn on the pressure hose to clean some chairs.
30:21What happens next?
30:22Irene lands on him.
30:25Different episode, different era.
30:27It's dramatic.
30:28That's why we've chosen it.
30:29How do you feel about his arms, by the way?
30:31Like, his shoulders?
30:32Are they...
30:32No, no, no, no.
30:33No, he's elite.
30:34He's, yeah, from...
30:35Even back then, he was pretty good.
30:36Oh, yeah, he's just delicious.
30:37So, I think the hose are classic.
30:43Turns it on, everywhere, then it's a wet single, it's got to come off, and Alf's just...
30:52Ed, we'll stop you there, and we'll take a look.
30:56Oh, no, it's all good.
30:56I mean, she's...
30:58Kim!
31:00Someone call an ambulance.
31:01Tell them he's had an electric shock.
31:04Like, at what point do we need to be told that he'd had an electric shock?
31:08I remember this episode.
31:10They just got another Hemsworth out of the van.
31:14He got knocked unconscious, sadly.
31:16Ed, I can't give you the point.
31:17It's just tushila.
31:17Let's see if we can get some...
31:18Have you ever seen Home and Away in your life?
31:19No, this is the most I've seen so far.
31:22This is exciting.
31:23You've got this.
31:23It's 1994, and high schooler Jack Wilson has snuck out at night after receiving an unexpected
31:29romantic invitation from his crush, Angel Brooks.
31:44Hi, mate, it's...
31:47Are you gorgeous?
31:48Are you awake?
31:49Look, sorry, I'm late.
31:51I had to make sure the ghost was clear.
31:52Now, Jack's gotten into bed with Angel for a late-night rendezvous.
31:56What happens next?
31:57Well, I mean, Angel's clearly faking to be asleep.
32:02We've all been there.
32:05What if I told you, Ursula, that it might not be Angel?
32:08Oh, Tom, don't give it away.
32:10Spoiler.
32:12Come on, Urs.
32:13Well, all right.
32:15I mean, judging by those round, strong shoulders that he's got hold of, there's clearly the little
32:20spoon.
32:21I just assumed Angel was a giant man.
32:24You know, Angel's are gender-neutral.
32:27Sure, sure.
32:28Ursula sort of wakes who he thinks is Angel up, and then discovers it's not Angel, and
32:36gets a big fright, and jumps back out the window.
32:38All right, let's take a look.
32:40Can I get on with the blankets?
32:42Oh, it's Mr. Fisher.
32:44No!
32:44No!
32:46Get out!
32:46Get out of here!
32:48It was his school principal, Donald Fisher.
32:52Now, back in the 90s, that was legal.
32:55Not illegal.
32:56But is that close enough?
32:57Got into bed with the wrong person?
32:59Yeah, we're going to give the points to Ursula.
33:03Thanks for generosity, Tom.
33:05Sam, to a dramatic showdown from 1995, where Summer Bay bad boy Dodge has just been released
33:11from prison, and is out to exact revenge on former friend Stephen Matheson.
33:15Come on, Steve-o.
33:17You reckon you can take me out?
33:19Have a go, mate.
33:21You're not frightened, are you?
33:23Big, brave bloke like you.
33:27Give up!
33:28Never!
33:30Come on, people!
33:38Wow, now Dodge and Stephen's scuffle has taken them all the way to the edge of a cliff.
33:43How does the fight end?
33:44Dodge gets electrocuted.
33:48Somehow, I don't know how.
33:49I'm right.
33:50How does it end?
33:51Yeah, there's two people there fighting.
33:53The director yells cut, and then he throws himself off the cliff.
33:57This was the glory days of Home and Away.
33:59They both can't go over, so I'm going to pick one.
34:02So which one's Dodge and which one's Angel?
34:05Rewind what you just said.
34:06No.
34:07What the hell?
34:09They both can go off the cliff.
34:11So they both go off the cliff.
34:12Sam.
34:12And then Mr Fisher comes in.
34:14Take the first part.
34:15Sam, take a look.
34:16Want to see if we can fly?
34:19God.
34:20Ah!
34:21Ah!
34:24Ten points to Sam.
34:26Yeah.
34:26They both went off the cliff.
34:28Yeah.
34:29All right, let's bring this thing home.
34:31Rhys, to mark Summer Bay's 30th anniversary in 2018, home and away up the ante with this blockbuster scene.
34:38While Alf and Rue search for students who've skipped attention, Ash is in hot pursuit of Justin in a high
34:45-speed car chase.
34:46Do you want to check the science lab in case they've turned up?
34:48Yeah, sure.
34:48The little creeps making us run around like this.
34:51You're actually pretty smart.
34:52You know what our report cards say.
34:55Oh!
34:57Oh!
34:57Oh!
35:00Oh!
35:01Oh!
35:04Oh!
35:05Oh!
35:08It's near Summer Bay High School.
35:09Yeah.
35:10What happens next?
35:10The special effects team get fired.
35:14They've done pretty well.
35:15And then the riders get fired because there's not enough going on, guys.
35:18There's a lot going on.
35:19What do you think happens?
35:20Could it get any worse is what I'm asking.
35:22Oh, does the car burst into flames and it hits the high school and then suddenly someone's feet fall off
35:28and then they swim the English Channel and they win a million dollars and then someone comes back out of
35:33the ocean and then they're made president.
35:37Rhys, I can't believe I'm the guy.
35:38I'm about to use the phrase, let's take a look.
35:44Oh!
35:45Oh, what happened?
35:46Oh, wow!
35:48So it caused an explosion in the school's science lab.
35:51Sorry, Rhys, I can't give you the points.
35:53And all too soon, that brings us to the end of...
35:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:01Back with more Have You Been Paying Attention right after this.
36:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:22The movement to take over online is called T-Maxing.
36:26What is T-Maxing?
36:27Rhys?
36:28It's like you take a lot of...
36:30It's like masculine energy, right?
36:31Like you're taking kind of testosterone and that.
36:33Because, as you can see, it works.
36:36Rhys, indeed.
36:38A trend encouraging boys to boost their levels of testosterone.
36:42Oh, I believe we have a video quiz master standing by.
36:45Hi, Tom.
36:45Hi, everyone.
36:46My name's Natalia and I'm from Sydney
36:47and one of my videos just recently went viral
36:49for mispronouncing which ingredient?
36:51Ooh.
36:52Which ingredient did Natalia mispronounce?
36:55Sam?
36:56Is she an influencer?
36:57Yeah.
36:57Yeah.
36:58Was it milk?
37:00Natalia?
37:01It just went viral around the world.
37:04I can't even say it.
37:06It's delooshed, you know, the...
37:09Oh, Rhys.
37:10Dolce Leche.
37:12Oh, wow.
37:12I think Rhys might have the pronunciation.
37:14Let's see if you're right.
37:15Dolce Leche, but I said it like this.
37:17I just made my very own douche de luce.
37:21It's close.
37:22It's close.
37:22It's in the zone.
37:24Rhys, point to yours.
37:25Well, this is incredible.
37:26In a scientific world first,
37:28astronomers have been able to look inside.
37:31Inside.
37:31No, come on.
37:32Who wants it?
37:33Yeah, you do it.
37:33You do it.
37:34No, let's all do it.
37:35Yeah.
37:35One, two, three.
37:37Uranus.
37:37Uranus.
37:38Yeah.
37:43You're not a million miles away.
37:45Inside, Rhys?
37:47It's inside a dying star.
37:48Yes.
37:49Or Uranus.
37:51Rhys, I will pay that inside a dying star,
37:53like in the final...
37:53Oh, come on.
37:55Get that off.
37:56Get that off now.
37:57How dare you.
37:58All right, I think it's time we...
37:59Yes, Sam.
38:00Do you think that needs any explanation at all?
38:04What possible explanation could there be?
38:06He's just got electrocuted.
38:07That'll do.
38:08All right, I think it's time we brought back
38:10a much-loved segment.
38:12Let's step into the world of...
38:21Indeed, it's animal news.
38:24He looks cute.
38:26Yeah.
38:26What are you?
38:27What is it, eh?
38:28You're the furry.
38:29Is that...
38:31I don't see species,
38:32so I'll take whatever I have.
38:35Yes, Sam.
38:36What are you?
38:37I'm a tiger.
38:38Ooh.
38:39I was wearing a tiara five minutes ago,
38:41so it's a step up.
38:43This is animal news.
38:44These are the questions,
38:45and to some bizarre scenes at the London Zoo.
38:48But you don't want to see him
38:49because he doesn't say anything.
38:52What's going on there?
38:53Rhys.
38:54King Charles is having lunch.
38:55He is...
38:57The King Charles is in Balmoral.
38:59They're about to blow him up with that.
39:02If it's not...
39:05They do this every year at the London Zoo.
39:09It's Ursula.
39:10I know what that is.
39:11I have one of those at home.
39:13They're weighing him.
39:14But he's too big for a traditional scale.
39:16Ursula, every year,
39:17the London Zoo weighs all their exhibits
39:19just to make sure they're healthy.
39:20What's yours?
39:21Well, I believe we have a video quiz master standing by.
39:23Hi, Tom.
39:24Hi, everyone.
39:25I'm Georgie from Melbourne Zoo,
39:26and this here is our three-week-old giraffe calf.
39:29This week, we gave him a name.
39:31What is it?
39:32What is the baby giraffe's name, Ursula?
39:34Is it Ed Cavalli?
39:35It's Ed.
39:36It could have been.
39:37It should have been, but it's not.
39:38Rhys.
39:39Exotic Veal.
39:41Is...
39:43Ant.
39:43Douche de Loosh.
39:45That'd be a great name for a giraffe, Sam.
39:48Bullseye.
39:48Oh.
39:52I think he's named Tambi.
39:54Oh, Urs, let's see if you're right.
39:56Tambi, which is Swahili for noodle.
39:58Mostly, everyone's just calling him noodle.
40:02Oh, honey.
40:03I wouldn't be naming an animal after a dish, just quietly.
40:07Yum, yum, yum.
40:09Urs, points are yours.
40:10To a photo op on the coast of Florida.
40:13Good job, buddy.
40:15Oh, my goodness.
40:16What happens next?
40:18Rhys.
40:18Exactly what we think is about to happen.
40:21Well, I need more from Rhys.
40:23I mean, it's...
40:24It's...
40:24He gets bitten, right?
40:26He's got to get bitten.
40:27Excellent.
40:27Yes, indeed.
40:28Would you like to see him?
40:29Yes.
40:29Yes.
40:29Yeah.
40:30Let's take a look.
40:35One back for the shark.
40:37Points are yours.
40:38English golfer Tommy Fleetwood had some trouble on the second hole.
40:42It would seem on the green regulation for Fleetwood.
40:47Low range efforts.
40:50Why has that putt gone viral?
40:53Sam.
40:54He gets bitten by a shark.
40:56That would do it.
40:57Oh, no, Anne.
40:58If something pushes it in, like, is it a fly?
41:00Oh, Anne.
41:01Good skills.
41:02Take a look.
41:02Watch the fly.
41:03There he is.
41:03He's on the...
41:04There he comes, and he goes, no, I'm not having this.
41:06I'm going to wander over the equator, and in we go.
41:09Thank you very much.
41:10I'm not saying golf's boring, but when an insect makes your daily highlight package,
41:16you've got to ask yourself.
41:17It's a good point you make.
41:18I think that the power of your message is slightly offset by those ears.
41:24You make a good point, too.
41:25We've got to take a break.
41:27Back with our winner right after this.
41:38We're back.
41:39Let's close the show out with a little Rapid Recall.
41:42And tonight's Rapid Recall is proudly brought to you by Yui.
41:45You haven't shopped around until you've tried Yui.
41:48Start that clock.
41:49After a year's wait, what finally arrived in Tasmania on Saturday?
41:53Rhys.
41:53A new gene pool.
41:55Is always being refreshed.
41:58Anne.
41:58The new spirit of Tasmania.
42:00Yeah, very fair.
42:01Wow, that's lovely, yeah.
42:02Scientists in Queensland have grown the world's first living what?
42:06Anne.
42:07Bobcatter clone?
42:08He's a vexority.
42:09We've been working this for years now.
42:10Sam.
42:10Did you say scientists in Queensland?
42:12I did.
42:13Oh, wait.
42:14Sorry to our northern viewers.
42:16Ursula.
42:17Skin?
42:18Yeah, living human skin.
42:19New Zealand Prime Minister Christopher Luxon skipped a Coalition of the Willing meeting.
42:24What was his reason?
42:25Anne.
42:26He was being a penis.
42:28Yeah.
42:29Very unkind.
42:30Excuse me.
42:31He is a thumb.
42:34Our Prime Minister is a thumb, not a penis.
42:38You know what, Tom?
42:39This is why you're the best in the business.
42:41Because when Anne said he was being a penis, you checked the card.
42:45That is why he's the best in the business.
42:47This is so cute, New Zealand.
42:49It was too late for him.
42:51It was at 1am and he went to bed.
42:53Qantas was fined $90 million this week for what?
42:57Rhys.
42:57Return flight to Perth.
42:58It was not the charging, but they were fined for doing what?
43:02Um, firing people during lockdown.
43:04Yes.
43:05Illegally sacking more than 1,800 stuff.
43:07Metal band Megadeth stunned fans this week by announcing what?
43:11Rhys.
43:12They are alive.
43:13Well, that's, I think, I think fans knew that, but...
43:16I think they retired.
43:16Yeah, they're, well, they're going to retire next year.
43:19Farewell, Tua.
43:20This is a first.
43:21A new Australian study is trialling magic mushrooms to treat what condition?
43:26Rhys.
43:27Your in-laws.
43:28Is...
43:29You're not...
43:30No, no, I can't go anywhere.
43:32Ursula.
43:33Depression?
43:33Yeah, anxiety and depression, particularly in older people.
43:36My in-laws.
43:38The son of Norway's Crown Princess, Marius Borg Hojby, is in hot water.
43:43What's happened?
43:44Uh, Rhys.
43:45He called Hermione Granger a mudblood.
43:48You don't do that.
43:53Ursula.
43:53No, he didn't save any forehead for the rest of us.
43:57He's used a fair bit, hasn't he?
43:59Please.
44:00Multiple charges of assault, et cetera.
44:02Yeah, but 32 assault events.
44:03To Broken Hill.
44:04And what are we looking at here?
44:07Rhys.
44:07That, that's Australia, Tom.
44:09Are you, are you having...
44:11No, no.
44:11But...
44:12Is this a dementia test?
44:13No, no, it's...
44:14I think it...
44:14I agree, it's Australia, but more than that, Anne.
44:16It's the most people forming Australia?
44:199,000, Anne, at the Mundy Mundy bash.
44:22Created, uh, that.
44:23It's a world record.
44:24Yes, sir.
44:25Should have seen what they did on, uh, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tom.
44:28It was, um...
44:30When, uh...
44:31When is the Tonight Show coming back, sir?
44:34Well, it may not be after that joke.
44:37To the World Cup and the Wallaroos made it...
44:40Oh, and we're out of time.
44:41Let's check that final leaderboard.
44:43And our winner is Ursula Carlson.
44:49Congratulations for our winner.
44:50Thanks to everyone for being part of the show tonight.
44:52We'll leave you with a reminder of the need to pay attention to your phrasing when commentating on a major
44:57tennis event.
44:58That's going to be tough for the Ukrainian.
45:01How do you...
45:01How do you respond to deep, hard balls?
45:05That's a good question.
45:06Good night, Australians.
45:07See you all next week.
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