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The Last Leg S34E10 H 264
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00:03Thank you for letting us be ourselves, so don't mind me if I repeat myself, these simple lines be good
00:10for your health, to keep them crime rhymes on the shelf, live my life like you just don't care, I
00:16believe it's never scared, play the noise just the moment they fear, get up still up here for my dear,
00:22get up, throw your hands in the air, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up.
00:38Put on your Easter bonnet, make room for chocolate and cross your hot buns, it's Friday, we're live and it's
00:44time for the last leg.
00:46Tonight on the show, we'll hold space for the Artemis Moon mission, set the record straight about Iran and kick
00:54off our excitement at the upcoming World Cup.
00:57Plus we'll be joined by comedian Josh Pugh, TV legend Lorraine Kelly and online football sensation Steve Bracknell on the
01:04show that likes to let you know what's really behind the news.
01:17G'day, I'm Adam Hills, welcome to the last leg, the show that heard Marmite is going to be sold to
01:23an American company and thought some people will hate that deal but others will probably like it.
01:28With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe and the man who's surprising his kids this Sunday
01:33with an Easter leg hunt, Alex Rucker.
01:44Loads of news to cover tonight, I want to start with the news that we got this week from Carolyn
01:48who said,
01:48is it okay that Josh likes to keep socks down his trousers?
01:54Caroline, of course, an ex-girlfriend.
01:56Do you want to explain what you said?
01:58Sorry?
01:59Do you want to explain what you said?
02:00Oh yeah, sorry, yeah, I didn't hear what, I was laughing at a joke, I didn't hear what you said.
02:03Oh, the amount of times I've heard that.
02:06So, this week, I was coming back from a tour show, the usual way I kind of de-stress after
02:12tour shows, I sit in the back of the car and I have a bowl of shreddies from a Tupperware
02:20box.
02:20You are rock and roll.
02:22I've always said, yeah, yeah, Jerry Seinfeld called he once he's a lifestyle bear.
02:27And then I put my hand on my leg and I was like, that feels thick, that, um, no, come
02:32on.
02:34Oh, that's a shame.
02:36The family show, the material, and then I was like, there's something there.
02:40And I put my hand, because obviously normally you'd go up, but I was like, it's too, so I put
02:45my, I'll, I'll be honest, I didn't do my flies, Adam.
02:47Right.
02:48Yeah.
02:48And I put my hand in and I pulled out a sock.
02:52Like that.
02:54It didn't bounce with that amount of, uh.
02:58The driver must have looked in his rear view mirror and thought, fuck me, he's enjoying them shreddies.
03:03Or he thought he takes his socks off in a weird way.
03:07So I, I've gone my whole day.
03:09Yeah.
03:10I've been with my family in the day and then I've done the whole gig with a sock in the
03:13gusset of my trousers.
03:15That I hadn't known was there.
03:17You didn't need the word gusset, did you?
03:18No, I didn't really.
03:20I saw you flinch when I said gusset.
03:23I love that.
03:23I always put my face in it then, it's been down my trousers.
03:26I love that you're going, oh, it was purely an accident there was a sock down my trousers.
03:31There seemed to be an aubergine down there.
03:33It wasn't like a rolled up football sock.
03:35It was like just a normal sock.
03:37Well, look, we talked about this during the week and knowing this, I've got you an end of series present.
03:41It's just there to your right.
03:42If you'd like to open it up, it's a pair of googly eyes that you can stick on.
03:46Oh, that's nice.
03:47That's nice.
03:48So let's, let me stick these on.
03:50Yep.
03:50Where do I stick this?
03:51So if I was to stick one there.
03:53What's my end of series present?
03:55I've got you some googly fingers.
04:04So I just do it like this.
04:08Oh, look.
04:09There you go.
04:11Oh, amazing.
04:12That is actually, do you know what?
04:15Hello.
04:16What was it like in Josh's pants?
04:19I don't kiss and tell.
04:22How was this gig?
04:24Do you know what?
04:25He absolutely smashed it.
04:27And if you do want to go a good night out, he's still on tour.
04:32Let me be clear.
04:33There is tickets available in Gripsley.
04:36Did he treat you well down there?
04:38Yes.
04:39I, do you know what?
04:41Why have you got such a weird voice?
04:45Which one of us is that too?
04:48I feel like Kermit's getting a seat and desist letter.
04:52All right, let's move on with the show.
04:54Before we move on, I don't normally say this, but I do need to do up my flies.
04:59So just carry on, Hilsie.
05:01Okay.
05:01We are live, so send us any questions you want to ask us about the news.
05:06Sorry.
05:07I just pretended to catch my foreskin, sorry.
05:10Imagine that if it was finally the bit of his body he lost.
05:16Message us on Instagram, the hashtags isn't okay, WhatsApp, the numbers 07956175908.
05:22We'll scan the QR code on the screen.
05:23For example, Ree said,
05:24Is it okay that someone has made a break for it with 12 tonnes of Kit Kats?
05:29Yes, more than 400,000 Kit Kats went missing this week when a truck carrying the new range set off
05:34from central Italy but never reached its final destination in Poland.
05:38The brand issued a statement saying it's not a stunt and asked consumers to scan barcodes to help them find
05:45the stolen chocolate.
05:46I mean, I don't know how that's going to help.
05:47Most thieves will have melted them down by now.
05:51Can I say how nice it is to do a story about missing fingers on this show and it's not
05:56to do with me?
06:01News of the high-sparked online race.
06:03Other companies issued their own statements like this cheeky post from Domino's said,
06:07We would like to share our thoughts and condolences with Kit Kat following their recent sad news.
06:11On a completely unrelated note, we're pleased to announce we'll now be selling a new Kit Kat pizza.
06:17Yes?
06:18What?
06:19You know how they can find the thieves, don't you?
06:22Just get a bounty hunter.
06:25Oh, lovely.
06:27You know what?
06:31That is not my kind of humour.
06:36Unsurprisingly, Domino's started a chain reaction that led to this amusing post from Ryanair.
06:44I've got a lot of questions about that.
06:45Firstly, why has the plane taken a bite out of one end of the Kit Kat then put the other
06:49end in its mouth?
06:50And also, why are there five fingers?
06:54Which is a question we often ask on this show.
06:57All right, let's get into the big story now.
06:59And as fuel prices continue to rise, stock markets continue to fall,
07:02Catherine said,
07:05Yes, it is.
07:07We all need something different and happier to lighten the world at the moment.
07:10Yes, Catherine!
07:11The American government proved they can do something right this week,
07:14as NASA launched a mission to the moon.
07:17The first time they did this was in 1968,
07:19when America led an ill-advised war in Vietnam,
07:22which had no exit strategy and ultimately made a mess of the region.
07:26Thankfully, this time things are different.
07:29The 10-day mission will take astronauts around the moon,
07:32as they look for a location to build a potential base from which to explore Mars.
07:36Not so much a place in the sun as a place on the dark side of the moon.
07:40I stayed up and watched this.
07:41I was so excited about it on Wednesday night.
07:43Did you guys watch it?
07:44Well, you remember the first one, of course.
07:49Sorry, sorry.
07:50So close, but not quite.
07:53No, I didn't.
07:54Did you watch it?
07:55No, I...
07:56I think it's bad at how jaded I am and how jaded we are as a generation.
08:02Yeah.
08:03In 1969, was it?
08:04People stayed up and watched it.
08:05Yeah.
08:06And I watched it the next day on my phone while having a piss.
08:13I watched it.
08:14I watched it on my phone.
08:15Well, what I love most is the next thing it took me to on the algorithm
08:18was just more dash cam footage.
08:21As if it was going to go from that to someone having a rocket cut them up.
08:24What I love most about this story is it's Easter weekend
08:28and it's quicker and easier for those astronauts to go round the moon and back
08:32than what it is to get a train from London to Manchester Piccadilly.
08:42And look, there's a lot to be cynical about in the world right now,
08:44but it's nice to know the launch of a rocket can still reduce
08:46a professional journalist to tears of joy.
08:49Here's the incredible moment.
08:50The BBC's science editor, Rebecca Murrell, was blown away by the launch
08:54almost literally.
08:56Oh, my goodness.
08:58Oh.
09:02Wow.
09:04Oh, my goodness.
09:07That is spectacular.
09:09It's not just what you see and you hear as the rocket lifts off.
09:13You can actually feel the force of it through your body.
09:17This is the most powerful rocket that NASA has ever built.
09:22Oh, my goodness.
09:25That is amazing.
09:26It is amazing.
09:27That's what I was like when I saw the Backstreet Boys in Vegas.
09:33I mean, a British reporter hasn't been that excited
09:35by a piece of machinery since this energetic clip.
09:51That's like you when you open your Tupperware box.
09:55There's one of them standing under the rocket blast that's actually quite distressing.
10:00Look, some of the stats around this launch are incredible.
10:02The rocket, known as Artemis II, was the same height as Big Ben.
10:06The core stage of liftoff burnt through 2.8 million litres of propellant
10:10and it will end up travelling the furthest from Earth
10:12that any human has ever been.
10:14I read that, but also, basically, what NASA,
10:17kind of the way they've explained the route it's taken is,
10:19they basically said,
10:20it's going to take a similar trajectory as Apollo 13.
10:24It's like, don't use that as the example.
10:27Just down to the astronauts.
10:29Well, the good news is,
10:30Tom Hanks has already signed up to play you.
10:33It's going to land in a similar place to the Titanic, I think.
10:39And look, credit where credit's due,
10:40when Donald Trump came into office,
10:42he signed an executive order calling for Americans
10:44to return to the moon by the end of 2028.
10:46So it must be kind of conflicting for the US president,
10:49because on the one hand, America is exploring space again,
10:51but it's also the most diverse NASA crew to ever leave Earth's orbit.
10:55It features the first woman and the first person of colour
10:58to travel to the moon.
11:00Now that I say that, it sounds like it might be a trap.
11:04You know what I mean?
11:04Considering the third astronaut's Canadian,
11:06if the fourth one's trans,
11:07this might be the most elaborate deportation ever.
11:12What's tricky for NASA is that,
11:13due to Trump's ban on mentioning diversity,
11:16they can't make a big deal about the first person of colour
11:18or the first woman to fly to the moon.
11:20They have to call them the first person
11:22who's allowed to fist bump Obama
11:24and the first person who never likes the temperature of any room.
11:28When is the first sock going to the moon?
11:33Are we liking this character or is it running...
11:35No, no, no, no.
11:36No, no, keep it, keep it on.
11:39Okay.
11:39Every now and again,
11:40I see something that makes me glad I don't have big hands
11:42and this is...
11:47The ultimate indignity for a government
11:49that's critical of inclusion
11:50is that the area between the Earth's orbit and the moon
11:52is called cislunar space.
11:54And the operation they pulled off last night
11:56was called a translunar injection.
11:59And I mean, the only thing that would make it worse
12:01is if they were travelling in the starship
12:02they them to prize.
12:05And not only is there an African-American man on board,
12:07Victor Glover is the pilot.
12:10Look, it says a lot about the state of America,
12:11that it's the only journey he can make
12:13without the risk of being pulled over.
12:18By the way, Victor Glover's call sign is Ike, I-K-E,
12:21which stands for I Know Everything.
12:22But does he know he's an embarrassing dad?
12:25Because this gorgeous family photo is giving cringe.
12:30That's actually his living room.
12:32And what he's done is he's just been wearing the suit
12:34since he got the job.
12:35I like to think he's just been in the house just going...
12:39And it's just like, come on, Victor,
12:41you're making the kids late for school.
12:43It looks like he's the only one
12:45who remembered World Book Day.
12:51It's not often you can create history
12:52and be a full kit wanker.
12:55And look, they are creating history.
12:56I genuinely got chills
12:58when this emotional final send-off
12:59was given to the astronauts.
13:02On this historic mission,
13:04you take with you the heart of this Artemis team,
13:07the daring spirit of the American people
13:10and our partners across the globe
13:13and the hopes and dreams of a new generation.
13:17Good luck.
13:19Godspeed, Artemis II.
13:21Let's go.
13:23It's fine, but they never have any banter.
13:27That's what I always think.
13:28They're always trying to talk
13:28as if it's going to go on, like,
13:30some sort of monument or something.
13:31Well, I think they just don't have any workplace banter.
13:34They're like, oh, I'd love to hear...
13:35Just imagine doing the count like that.
13:36Five, four...
13:38Fuck, what's that bit of metal
13:39that's falling off the top?
13:39Three, two...
13:41There's snow coming out of the top.
13:42Only fucking about with your one.
13:43Have a good one, guys.
13:46This was the emotive moment
13:48when each of the astronauts
13:49gave their final words.
13:52Thank you, Charlie.
13:53This is Victor.
13:54We are going for our families.
13:57MS1.
13:58This is Christina.
13:59We are going for our teammates.
14:02MS2.
14:04This is Jeremy.
14:05We are going for all humanity.
14:08It's lovely,
14:09but do you reckon the first two were like,
14:10oh, give it a rest, Jeremy.
14:13Family, teammates.
14:14You don't have to bring humanity into war.
14:16Ooh, look at me.
14:17I'm doing this for humanity.
14:20Listen, we have to spend 10 days with this prick.
14:22I'm going to start doing that
14:23when I'm at work.
14:24Just go, I'm doing blankety-blank for humanity.
14:27I'm doing that for humanity.
14:29I'm doing that for humanity.
14:31But I just think he's not doing it
14:32for humanity, is it?
14:33He's not doing it for me.
14:34Like, if you want to do something for humanity,
14:36like, get McDonald's to bring back the McRib.
14:40The crew will be in a cramped space
14:42the size of two small camper vans for 10 days,
14:44passing around the moon on day six.
14:47There was a tense moment for the astronauts
14:48when a fault was found with the onboard toilet.
14:50In fact, it was with the toilet fan.
14:53Oh, it was in fact...
14:54Because I just imagined, like,
14:55one of the astronauts just coming out going,
14:57I'll give that a couple of light years.
15:00Would it be bad to crack a window?
15:02Is it worth it?
15:03Is it worth it?
15:06The toilet itself costs around $17 million
15:08and comes with foot restraints and ear protectors.
15:12Oh, I thought the $70 million was just for a plumber
15:15to do that call-out.
15:17The ear protectors are for the person on the toilet
15:19or the other people...
15:21No, the toilet makes such a loud noise
15:24because it's zero gravity.
15:26It has to basically suck all the waste
15:28and take it away.
15:30So it makes a loud noise
15:31and you need ear protectors.
15:32Oh.
15:33I don't know why you need foot restraints.
15:35I'm assuming...
15:37I'm assuming it's so that you don't...
15:40I mean, literally launch yourself across the room.
15:45If it's...
15:46I don't want to speak for everyone,
15:48but if it's providing that much propulsion
15:50for other people,
15:51I'm doing it wrong.
15:53But, I mean, it's zero gravity.
15:55It's got a...
15:56I mean, what happens when you fart in space?
15:59Like, you can't hide it
16:00if you've just shot across the room.
16:05That one was for humanity.
16:10The toilet is a step up from past Apollo missions,
16:12which saw astronauts taping a bag
16:14to their own buttocks.
16:16Jesus Christ.
16:17Oh, my God.
16:19That moonwalk feels a bit different now.
16:21Neil Armstrong.
16:21We've got bag tape to his arse, aren't we?
16:24One small bag for man.
16:26One giant man for piss.
16:29One giant man, one giant bag.
16:31There was a famous line uttered on board Apollo 10,
16:34and this is a direct quote,
16:35give me a napkin quick,
16:36there's a turd floating through the air.
16:40Why have they got napkins up there in the first place
16:42for fine dining?
16:44I hate to catch turds, probably.
16:47Why else would you use a napkin?
16:49Is that why they give me them a prep?
16:52The astronauts were interviewed overnight,
16:54and they explained how they sleep
16:55in this fascinating clip.
16:58Sleeping here is actually sort of comical.
17:01Christina has been sleeping heads down
17:03in the middle of the vehicle,
17:04kind of like a bat suspended from our docking tunnel.
17:07Victor's been up where Jeremy is right now.
17:09He's got a nice little nook wedged in there.
17:11And then Jeremy has been stretched out on seat one,
17:14and I've been sleeping under the displays
17:16just in case anything goes wrong.
17:18It's more comfortable than you would think,
17:20and it's nice to sleep in weightlessness again.
17:24Every time I was dozing off last night,
17:26I had that image that I was tripping off a curb
17:27and I was waking myself up,
17:29so my body's getting re-acclimated.
17:31It's been a few years since I've been up here.
17:33I was hoping when he got to himself,
17:35he goes,
17:36and I sleep naked.
17:40Hey, what's my bollocks doing?
17:41Zero gravity.
17:45Before the trip,
17:46crew member Reid Wiseman said,
17:47quote,
17:47there are definitely going to be things
17:48by day six, seven, eight, nine
17:50that we're like,
17:51man, all right,
17:51I need a little space
17:52and I can't get any right now,
17:54and then said,
17:55like, clicking a pen cap
17:56can annoy somebody
17:56over ten days in a small capsule,
17:58which begs the question,
18:00what would we be like in space?
18:02Imagine him trying to dodge
18:03loads of floating legs.
18:05Day six,
18:06the socks just floats out of my crown.
18:09I like the idea of you going,
18:11Alex,
18:12we can't,
18:12the radio,
18:13we're not able to get back to Hoosie.
18:14It's like,
18:15no, sorry, mate,
18:15I changed it to Kishtry earlier.
18:18I like the idea
18:19you've waited 21 years
18:20for Arsenal to win the league
18:21and then you're trapped in space.
18:24All right,
18:25let's move on.
18:26No,
18:26Josh has already made that joke.
18:28Move on.
18:29No,
18:30I think it's fair to say
18:30the mission to the moon
18:31has brought out the child
18:32in all of us.
18:33Sorry.
18:33I was going to make a joke.
18:34Josh had already done it
18:35and I was like,
18:35well,
18:36there's no point doing
18:36the same sock joke again.
18:38The only difference is
18:39I was going to do
18:40your impersonation.
18:41I was going to be,
18:41is there a bit of sock down here?
18:43To be fair,
18:44I was doing the voice as well.
18:45My own voice.
18:46NASA even had an initiative
18:48in which members of the public
18:49could send their names
18:50around the moon
18:51on an SD card.
18:52So you sign up
18:53and they take an SD card
18:54and they take it around the moon.
18:57Your name goes around the moon.
18:58They even put out a boarding pass
18:59that looked like this.
19:01Now,
19:01we know that's what it looks like
19:02because one member
19:03of our production crew
19:04actually did it
19:05for her and her kids.
19:06Oh.
19:07And her seven-year-old
19:08is still pissed off
19:09that she's not actually
19:10going to the moon for Easter.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:14It's amazing.
19:14And when you look into
19:15what they're actually doing,
19:16it's amazing
19:16because the precision needed
19:17to do what they're doing
19:18is absolutely remarkable.
19:20Have a look at this
19:21fascinating clip.
19:21It shows the magnitude
19:22of trying to coordinate
19:23a rocket from Earth
19:24that loops around
19:25a moving target.
19:28OK,
19:29so there's the rocket
19:29going around Earth.
19:30It heads towards
19:31where the moon should be.
19:32It hasn't come into shot yet
19:33because it's orbiting the Earth.
19:35Here it comes.
19:36How close is that?
19:38These astronauts
19:39are basically combining
19:40physics, chemistry,
19:41mathematics,
19:42mechanics and darts.
19:43LAUGHTER
19:45LAUGHTER
19:46The way it looked is,
19:47it kind of looked like,
19:47you know when, like,
19:48your Uber driver
19:49takes a really long route home?
19:51LAUGHTER
19:51You're just going,
19:52you've got ways, mate.
19:54LAUGHTER
19:54It's easy doing
19:55another drop-off
19:56before me.
19:57It's almost impossible
19:58to put into words
19:59what they're managing
19:59to achieve,
20:00but I think the final word
20:01should go to this
20:02excitable boy in America
20:03who managed to sum
20:04it all up beautifully.
20:06Why do you want to be here?
20:08Why do you love space?
20:10Why do you love
20:10being a part of history?
20:12We're going back
20:12to the frickin' moon,
20:14that's why.
20:15LAUGHTER
20:16LAUGHTER
20:17Pretty much says it all.
20:18All right.
20:19Let's welcome tonight's guest,
20:20but let's do it
20:20with another special guest.
20:21Josh?
20:22Oh, do you want me to do it?
20:23OK.
20:24LAUGHTER
20:25LAUGHTER
20:26She's a telly legend,
20:27he's a comedy star,
20:28but I'm a sock,
20:29so I've heard of neither of them.
20:30It's Lorraine Kelly
20:31and Josh Pugh!
20:33LAUGHTER
20:50Just for no apparent reason,
20:51but we've got plenty.
20:52Does anyone want to kick it?
20:55No, I've got cunners.
20:56I'm scunnered with them.
20:57I've eaten far too many of them.
20:59OK.
20:59You're what?
21:00Sorry, Lorraine?
21:00I'm scunnered of them.
21:02Scunnered?
21:02Fed up.
21:03Had too many.
21:04Were you involved in the house?
21:06I cannot possibly comment on that.
21:08Maybe.
21:09Did you both follow the moon mission?
21:11What did you think of it?
21:12Oh, my God.
21:12It's so exciting.
21:13So exciting.
21:14What do you think?
21:15You're not that excited.
21:16I'm not that excited.
21:18I'm so excited.
21:18You know, it is,
21:19with astronauts,
21:20if you want to go up,
21:21fair enough and all that,
21:22but it's when they try and make up,
21:24they're doing it for us,
21:25for all humanity,
21:26all, you know, mankind.
21:28We're not bothered, lads.
21:29LAUGHTER
21:30No one's asking you to go up there.
21:32I think it's,
21:32just be honest,
21:34you want to go in a rocket.
21:35That's where you're going.
21:36Yeah.
21:36You want to go wee into the sky.
21:38Wee!
21:38They had bother with the wheeze
21:40and the sky, didn't they?
21:42And you two cheeky monkeys,
21:43I actually saw
21:44the original moon landing.
21:46I was 10.
21:47Were you?
21:47My dad.
21:48No, Lorraine.
21:49I know, I know.
21:50Oh, my word.
21:52It was the best thing.
21:53No, Lorraine.
21:54LAUGHTER
21:55Because you were making a joke,
21:57and then it was...
21:58Oh, but it's the sock.
21:59No, Lorraine, no.
22:00LAUGHTER
22:01I love the sock.
22:02I'm very, very, very into the sock.
22:04So, would you go into space, Lorraine?
22:06Would I go?
22:07If you told me now,
22:08I would be a wee.
22:09Well, can we finish the show first?
22:12LAUGHTER
22:12No, it's amazing.
22:13It's extraordinary.
22:15The thing is,
22:15the rockets that go from Florida, though.
22:17I just think there's better things to do in Florida.
22:19You've got Animal Kingdom.
22:21LAUGHTER
22:21Sightly Lagoon.
22:23You know, Epcot.
22:25LAUGHTER
22:27There was...
22:28I love the way people really got into it this week,
22:30but I loved how watching various reporters around the world
22:32cover the rocket launch
22:33reminded everyone around the world of this classic clip.
22:36You may have seen this.
22:37James Burke.
22:38It's often called the best-timed piece of television ever.
22:42And the two gases that he released
22:44from his particular version of a thermos flask,
22:47the one lying on its side behind me now,
22:50were hydrogen and oxygen.
22:56If you release those two gases into a confined space
22:59with a hole at the other end of it
23:01and mix them as you do so
23:02and then set light to them,
23:06you get...
23:07that.
23:15Destination, the moon.
23:17Wow.
23:18APPLAUSE
23:24It is incredible,
23:26but how good would it have been
23:27if he'd have had a sock on his hand?
23:29LAUGHTER
23:31And look, walking and talking
23:32isn't always easy to do on television,
23:34as this revealing clip of Lorraine shows...
23:38LAUGHTER
23:39She's a mother of three, two...
23:41Oop!
23:42LAUGHTER
23:43I'm sorry.
23:44I'll do that again.
23:46Superwoman, help me.
23:47Help me.
23:48You're all right.
23:50APPLAUSE
23:56And look, we're going to give you a chance
23:58to redeem yourself tonight.
24:00OK.
24:00OK.
24:00And recreate James Burke's iconic moment
24:03live in the studio.
24:04We've written a little script for you.
24:05It's on the autocue.
24:07Take it away, Lorraine.
24:08Right.
24:08OK.
24:08Hopefully, this will work.
24:10Come on.
24:12Walking and talking on television
24:14is harder than it looks.
24:16It requires coordination,
24:18concentration and relaxation.
24:20It's actually quite a bit of pressure.
24:25Like the pressure that's applied
24:27to a foot pump when somebody jumps on it.
24:29If that pressure is then transferred
24:31to a child's toy pointing towards the sky,
24:34you get this.
24:36LAUGHTER
24:44That was very good, isn't it?
24:48Oh, my God.
24:49That doesn't normally happen to me.
24:50LAUGHTER
24:52LAUGHTER
24:53Yay!
24:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24:59We'll have more last leg for you
25:01after the break
25:02as we come back down to Earth
25:03with a look at what's going on in Iran.
25:05We'll see you in a little bit.
25:06Oh, I love it.
25:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
25:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
25:20Welcome back to Last Leg.
25:22We're joined by Josh Pugh
25:23and Lorraine Kelly
25:24who is handing out chocolates
25:26to everyone in the audience.
25:28Oh, Lorraine, before you go,
25:30someone said, is it OK
25:31that you didn't get a hug
25:32when you came out?
25:32Oh, I didn't.
25:33It wasn't intentional.
25:34No, no, but you'll hug it already.
25:35We were in the city.
25:35No.
25:36Didn't we?
25:37Backstage we hugged.
25:38Was there someone
25:39that texted that in your cell phone?
25:42LAUGHTER
25:42Honestly, I didn't get concerned
25:44by so many things.
25:45Someone else said,
25:45is it OK that someone left some anti-back spray
25:48on the desk at the beginning of the show?
25:49Oh, yeah.
25:50Yes, that was an accident.
25:52LAUGHTER
25:52Mad Brummie said,
25:53is it OK that Trump broke the window
25:55and is now running away?
25:56Look, it's been a big week
25:57for the American president.
25:58In fact, I'm going to do something now.
25:59I'm going to read off a list of things
26:01Donald Trump said this week
26:02and I want you to tell me
26:03which one I've added
26:04as an April Fools joke.
26:06LAUGHTER
26:06OK.
26:07This week Donald Trump said
26:08that he hangs around with losers
26:10because it makes him feel better about himself.
26:12Told an audience of Saudi investors
26:14they could ask him anything about sex.
26:16Said he doesn't like museums and libraries
26:18so his library will be a hotel.
26:20And claimed that a woman
26:21should have autonomy over her own body.
26:23LAUGHTER
26:25Yeah, you picked it.
26:26It was the last one, right?
26:27LAUGHTER
26:28Can I just say,
26:29anyone who says,
26:30ask me anything about sex
26:31sounds like someone who's never done it.
26:34As the war on Iran continues,
26:36the Strait of Hamuz remains closed.
26:37President Trump took to Truth Social
26:39to tell Britain
26:39it should either buy its jet fuel from the US
26:42or, quote,
26:43go get your own.
26:45Not surprising from a guy who said,
26:46when you're famous
26:47you can just grab them by the pussy.
26:49Iran is now considering placing a toll
26:51on any ships
26:51passing through the Strait of Hamuz
26:53in what one commentator described as
26:54an ayatoll booth.
26:57LAUGHTER
26:58I don't hate it.
27:00What do we think of Donald Trump
27:01saying we should get our own oil?
27:02Well, I think we'll just fight back.
27:04Mm-hmm.
27:05We'll just choose British products.
27:06You should get your own hobnobs.
27:09Do you know what, Trump?
27:11Get your own ambrosia cream drive.
27:13LAUGHTER
27:15This side? You guys?
27:16It's just like, er...
27:17The way Trump speaks to Britain,
27:20it's like he's a lad
27:22trying to get his mate
27:22to do something stupid all the time.
27:24Yeah.
27:25Like, set fire to the farts or something.
27:26The old you would have done it.
27:28The old you...
27:28She's changed you.
27:29The old you would have done it.
27:30OK, then we'll do it.
27:32He's a kid, man.
27:33He's ridiculous.
27:34It's ridiculous.
27:34And look at this...
27:35He's blaming us.
27:37This is mad.
27:37Like, we didn't have...
27:38He's the one who went and started it.
27:40Yeah, yeah.
27:40He's having a go at us.
27:41And he's basically like,
27:42what you're saying is,
27:43why aren't you doing anything
27:44about these pants off shitting that I'm wearing?
27:47LAUGHTER
27:48And look at this one country
27:50that seems to be doing well out of the crisis.
27:51It's Russia.
27:52Because just as their war effort
27:54was starting to run out of money,
27:55Donald Trump eased sanctions on Russian oil,
27:58the price of which has now gone through the roof.
28:00So the Russian economy is now pulling in
28:02hundreds of millions of dollars a day,
28:04thanks to Donald Trump.
28:06So it turns out he is good for the economy,
28:08just not Americans.
28:10LAUGHTER
28:10Trump also said this week
28:11he'd consider pulling the US out of NATO,
28:13saying,
28:14I always knew they were a paper tiger,
28:15and then added,
28:16and Putin knows that too, by the way.
28:19Get a room!
28:20LAUGHTER
28:21A lot of countries around the world
28:23are now struggling to deal with the current energy crisis.
28:25Sri Lanka have introduced a four-day working week,
28:27news anchors in Thailand
28:29took off their jackets on air,
28:30and their government have told officials
28:32to wear short-sleeved shirts without neckties.
28:35But have a look at Bangkok's weather for the next week.
28:38It's like 37...
28:40They should be wearing short sleeves anyway.
28:43LAUGHTER
28:43Are you guys worried about the energy crisis?
28:46I mean, anything with crisis in,
28:48it gets my alarm bells ringing.
28:51LAUGHTER
28:52LAUGHTER
28:53LAUGHTER
28:55He knows things.
28:57He knows things.
28:58Good man.
28:59Mental health, Cuban Missile.
29:01LAUGHTER
29:02Cost of living.
29:03Cost of living.
29:04Cost of living crisis.
29:04All of them.
29:05One woman was spotted filling...
29:07Time crisis.
29:08LAUGHTER
29:08One woman was spotted filling Sainsbury's bags
29:10with petrol
29:11and storing them in the boot of her car.
29:13Sainsbury's bags!
29:14That's the unbelievable image.
29:16I think putting petrol in a plastic bag
29:18really shows where you stand on climate change.
29:22LAUGHTER
29:24LAUGHTER
29:24LAUGHTER
29:24Fuck you, Grafenberg!
29:26LAUGHTER
29:27Dukas said,
29:28Is it OK?
29:28The King's visit to the US is going to be very awkward.
29:31Yeah, so this week it was confirmed
29:32the King and Queen state visit
29:33is going to take place next month,
29:35even though Trump spent a lot of this week
29:36slagging off Keir Starmer.
29:38In fact, Trump even stated that the King
29:40would have backed him over the war in Iran.
29:43His exact words were,
29:44I like him, I always liked him as a prince,
29:46he's a good man,
29:47a great representative for your country,
29:49I think it would have taken a very different stand,
29:51but he doesn't do that,
29:52I mean, he's a great gentleman.
29:54I don't think Charles would have taken a different stand on the war.
29:57I don't think so either.
29:58He talks to plants.
29:59Yeah, poop!
30:00You know what I mean?
30:01His car runs on biofuels.
30:03He's kind.
30:04His favourite hobby is angling.
30:05That's not a warmonger,
30:06that's a fishmonger.
30:08LAUGHTER
30:10You've met the King, right?
30:12Is he the kind of guy that would be like,
30:13yeah, get in there?
30:14No, he would not.
30:15And the poor soul that has to go and sit
30:18and break bread with Trump,
30:19I know he's met lots of despots
30:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:22in his life,
30:23but I don't know how he gets through that.
30:25Do you just kind of sit there thinking,
30:26soon I can go home to Camilla
30:27and watch the racing with a gin and tonic.
30:30Is that how you get through it?
30:32I don't know.
30:32Well, is it true also,
30:33the King can't really give an opinion on whether he'd go to war, right?
30:36And Donald Trump knows that.
30:37Of course he does, so he's just...
30:38He's just baiting.
30:40They've got mutual acquaintances.
30:42His brother.
30:43LAUGHTER
30:47That's very true!
30:49Aha!
30:50Well done.
30:50You know, Andrew.
30:53APPLAUSE
30:56The Guardian's photo editor
30:57obviously had a little bit of fun this week.
30:59It looked like they were purposely choosing photos
31:01that made the King look sceptical of Trump.
31:03There was this one.
31:05Are they passing drugs?
31:08LAUGHTER
31:09Cheers for that, Donald.
31:10I really needed that perka.
31:12LAUGHTER
31:12And The Guardian also ran with this perfectly captured shot.
31:16LAUGHTER
31:17It looks like the King's going,
31:19ooh,
31:20and he's just seeing Trump like zipper bollock in his zip.
31:24LAUGHTER
31:25He's only trying to get a sock out and all.
31:28LAUGHTER
31:28It looks like they're struggling for an answer on Celebrity Pointless.
31:31LAUGHTER
31:32LAUGHTER
31:33Ooh, you forgot to Captain Harland.
31:36Ooh.
31:37LAUGHTER
31:37That actually is a photo of Charles talking to a plant.
31:41LAUGHTER
31:41The scramble for fuel's going to test all of us,
31:44so Josh and Alex have come up with a way to get us prepared.
31:46Yes, we have.
31:47So, Hills, basically, as soon as we saw the image
31:49of a woman putting petrol in Sainsbury's bags,
31:51we basically thought this could fuel some hilarity.
31:55Oh, yeah.
31:56That's good.
31:56Huh?
31:57And more to the point...
31:59More to the point, pad out the show.
32:01LAUGHTER
32:02So, we're going to put on...
32:03We've got made special petrol pump hats for this.
32:07LAUGHTER
32:08And Alex has got a jingle made.
32:10Would you like to cue the jingle, Alex?
32:11Let's play!
32:17You've got to patrol with it.
32:19You've got to feel your bag.
32:25APPLAUSE
32:30OK!
32:31Here we are in our petrol pumps.
32:35Me and Alex, two petrol pumps.
32:36As you can see, I've got green on my face,
32:38cos I am unleaded.
32:40I did.
32:40Yes, and as you can see, I'm Diesel, so I've got a black hat on,
32:44and I'm...
32:45Do you know what, actually?
32:46Shall we just continue with this?
32:48LAUGHTER
32:50Don't want to get cancelled.
32:51It is Hilsie versus Lorraine, and I can tell you
32:54that this couldn't be more important, Josh.
32:56Do you know why?
32:57Why?
32:57Because there's a very special prize on offer.
33:00Ooh!
33:02Right, so here's what you have to do.
33:03You have to get as much highly flammable petrol
33:06in shopping bags across our tricky assault course
33:10from one end of the forecourt to the other.
33:13It's that simple.
33:15Hilsie, we ask you, it's the forecourt,
33:17so please don't use your mobile.
33:18Absolutely.
33:19And Lorraine, please don't light up.
33:21I don't know how...
33:22LAUGHTER
33:23OK, then, let's talk you through the course.
33:25First, you must fill your bag at the petrol pump over there.
33:28That'll have a street value of about eight grand at the moment.
33:31And then you've got to negotiate your way through
33:32the mountain of charcoal boquets,
33:34and then slalom in and out of the caution wet floor signs.
33:39Grab yourself a bunch of shitty flowers
33:41that you might be buying for a family member you don't like.
33:43And then buy a scratch card
33:45from an under-motivated forecourt attendant.
33:48Finally, pour your Romanian petrol into the car boot.
33:52The person who fills their car boot with the most petrol
33:55is the winner. Capisce?
33:57Yeah.
33:58Cool.
33:58Take your positions, please, at the start.
34:00Over there.
34:01There you go.
34:02Let's kick it off for our contestants.
34:03You got this side, I got this side.
34:09Are you ready?
34:10Ready.
34:11Three, two, one.
34:13Pump it!
34:14Oh, here they go.
34:15There we go.
34:16They're pumping away now.
34:17Who wants you to win this, Alex?
34:19I think Kelsey's struggling already.
34:21He's not having this.
34:22He seems like Lorraine's not messing about, isn't he?
34:24Hey, Lorraine's got the...
34:25He's worked in a petrol station before.
34:28Lorraine feels like someone who's siphoned petrol.
34:33I'll be honest, this bit's lasting longer than we'd anticipated.
34:37Not the first time we've said that, am I right?
34:41Just go for the two hands if you need it.
34:43There you go.
34:44Here we go.
34:45Here we go.
34:46All right.
34:46Go on, Lorraine.
34:48In and out.
34:49Go on, go on, go on, go on.
34:51Get your flowers.
34:52Get your flowers.
34:53Get your scratch card, please.
34:55Oh, two bunches.
34:56Oh, Lorraine's a romantic.
34:57Grab your scratch card.
34:58Me.
34:59That'll do.
35:00Yep.
35:01Okay.
35:02Get your scratch card.
35:02Fill it up.
35:03Fill it up.
35:04Fill it up.
35:05Fill it up.
35:06Fill it up.
35:06Fill it up.
35:07Fill it up.
35:09Oh, my God.
35:11Who's going to win?
35:12Who's going to win?
35:12Oh, my God.
35:13Here we go.
35:13Oh, my God, Lorraine.
35:14Oh, God, I need a wee so much.
35:16Keep going.
35:17That's it.
35:18Oh, look.
35:19I can tell you that our winner is...
35:23Lorraine Kelly.
35:25Oh, isn't it?
35:26Lorraine Kelly.
35:27Oh, hang on.
35:28Oh, God.
35:29Give it to Lorraine.
35:30It's Lorraine.
35:41It's going to have to go to VAR.
35:43Well, and more last thing for you after the break as we take a look at the upcoming World Cup.
35:47But, Josh, I think it's time to burn some of this petrol off.
35:49Yes, let's go for this.
35:50Right.
35:51Everyone duck.
35:51We're going to go big on this burning.
35:54Three, two, one.
35:55What?
36:09Welcome back to The Last of the Week.
36:10Once on by Josh Pugh and Lorraine Kelly.
36:12Time to talk football now, but before we do let's welcome a man who's become an online sensation as the
36:17assistant manager of the Sunday league team Royal Oak FC.
36:20Please welcome Steve Bracknell
36:34Lovely to have you here Steve big game this weekend you want to tell everyone explain for everyone what the
36:39game is
36:40It's being billed as the biggest game in Sunday league history. Mm-hmm. I've billed it. That'll be frank
36:47Yeah, 3,000 people are coming to watch two pub teams playing a football match on Easter Sunday at 2
36:54p.m
36:54Who are the pub teams Royal Oak my team I'm assistant manager. Yeah, I'll get unguf on titles me
37:02I'm the assistant host mate don't worry about it
37:06No comment
37:08We and there's no love lost and and for the people who can't make it on the day can they
37:13watch it?
37:14I'm allowed to mention BBC honor
37:17I mean who knows these days, but yeah
37:23Don't get me involved in that
37:26The BBC have kindly agreed to live stream it to the games gone YouTube channel amazing. We're gonna have people
37:33from all around globe
37:34Yeah, watching
37:3622 overweight looks
37:39Football it back. I look I understand you're a big fan of Alex Brooker so much so you've written a
37:44chant for him
37:45Last night I spent an hour in shower naked. Well, I've always naked in shower book
37:52Oh
37:52Singing about Alex Annick is going Steven. Are you all right? I'm all right love would you like to read
37:56it? I'd love to hear it, please. Yeah
38:00It's to the tune of marching in two by two oh
38:03Oh
38:05He'll never play in a football team they said they said they were always making jokes about his leg
38:12His leg now making jokes is how he gets paid and now he's playing in soccer day all of
38:19Broker England's number nine
38:21I'm done by nine
38:23I'm done by
38:27I'm done by
38:31I'm done by
38:39I'm done by
38:47Make a wish thank you
38:51And now Josh Pugh you play for the partially sighted England futsal team
38:55I do yeah
38:56And you got a visit from an important manager
38:58Yeah before a tournament in Turkey we're training in Manchester and to motivate the lads our manager brought in a
39:05special guest and introduced him as Gareth
39:08No surname didn't give a surname. Obviously the lads are visually impaired. We couldn't see that Gareth Southgate was stood
39:17And we were just very underwhelmed
39:22He's got it's like a shirt on we think he works for the hotel with
39:28Any questions for Gareth? Well my room keys not working
39:35First and second name we need
39:39And look Lorraine I understand you're gonna be like we've got the World Cup coming up
39:43Yes, I understand you're gonna be one of the games
39:46Yes, we're going to the Morocco game
39:47Well, hopefully I'm going because you know there's that thing where if you've been horrible about Donald Trump
39:52Yes, so I might get I was hoping that we'd be Canada or Mexico, but we're not
39:57And I'm just worried that you know when I get there they wouldn't let me in because I may have
40:01said a bad thing about Donald Trump
40:03I think the nicest thing I said was even
40:14Is there any message you'd like to give to the Scotland team ahead of the World Cup?
40:18I still happen to be sitting on this
40:19I would wave this around and say the famous thing is no Scotland, no party, no Scotland, no party
40:27It's true, it's true!
40:29It's true!
40:29It's true!
40:44It's true!
40:45It's one hour to be frank
40:46Yeah
40:47To be fair, to be honest, it's more time than we take to write the show
40:52So the stage is yours
40:54Thank you
40:56Thanks, Steve
40:58APPLAUSE
41:04we were all young kids once upon a time we had dreams big dreams I never laid in bed at
41:12night
41:12dreaming about being an electrician no we wanted to be astronauts who flight at moon
41:18but he couldn't some of us wanted to play for England in a world cup final
41:26and in two months time some of you lads have got the chance to make that a reality
41:31a world cup final I mean we're not sending Annie McGuire to moon
41:36I hope not anyway we need him
41:39all I ask of you lads is to keep dreaming
41:42listen I can forgive a bad pass a penalty miss
41:45but what I cannot forgive is the inability
41:49to believe we can do it
41:51well Vanessa showed us that
41:55we live in divisive times and the opportunities for this country to come together a few and far between
42:02it weren't Gallagher's last summer that brought us together
42:04me and our Nicky had best air of his life
42:06unbelievable
42:08but now it's your turn
42:09to go and play your horse art
42:11not for me
42:12not for Widdecombe
42:13not for Brooker
42:13do it for kids up and down country who are still dreaming
42:17and if football comes home and I mean this for the bottom of me heart
42:21if it comes home I'm buying a bag in Bucky
42:25no no I'm doing gravy coleslaw
42:27viennetta beans
42:28job lot and it's on me and I mean that
42:30so get up and down
42:32play for that badge
42:33but more importantly
42:36let's try and stay together as one alright
42:38Steve
42:46we'll have more last league for you after the break
42:49josh will wrap up the last seven days
42:50and we're going to unveil an anthem for the world cup
42:52we'll see you in a little bit
43:07welcome back to last league
43:08we're joined by Josh Pugh, Lorraine Kelly and Steve Bracknell
43:11last week on the show we met someone by the name of Becky Coleman
43:14now Becky was aiming to become the first wheelchair user
43:17to row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course
43:20arms only
43:21yesterday she smashed it in 33 minutes
43:24and sent us this picture with the little hands in a boat that we gave her
43:28Becky's here tonight
43:29Becky congratulations
43:31well done
43:44also want to give a shout out to the Keithley Cougars rugby league team if I can
43:47last year on the show you might remember Alistair Campbell challenged Keithley to help out the Ukrainian rugby league team
43:53Keithley then provided them with their official kit
43:55they offered to fly a bunch of teenage rugby league players from Ukraine to the UK for a week
44:02the Ukrainian kids landed into Leeds Bradford this afternoon
44:05they're going to spend the weekend in Keithley and Castleford
44:07playing and watching rugby league
44:09which is awesome
44:10they're also taking a day trip to Haworth
44:13I think that's how you pronounce it
44:14home of the Bronte sisters
44:15because you know how much rugby league players love the Bronte sisters
44:19you can hear them now
44:21Keith Cliff
44:22Keith Cliff
44:23oh we all joined
44:24I didn't expect you to join
44:25this is the greatest audience of all
44:38Josh has been orbiting the last seven days
44:39what have you got
44:40okay
44:43he's got to read it off the card
44:44would you like to see an incredible clip of what could possibly go wrong
44:48when collecting your food at the end of a night
44:50out
44:51yes please
45:02it's the way he tries to save it
45:04it's such a journey then
45:06would you like to see some awkward footage of poor old Craig Doyle
45:10being interrupted during rugby team's warm up
45:13yes
45:15so we said to David
45:16you're a member of the team
45:17you need an initiation
45:18usually it's a song in the bottom
45:19you're going to dance something disgusting
45:20I'm ready to sing to be fair
45:21you're going to kick this ball
45:23yeah it's going to be a debut defining moment I think
45:25you're a pro footballer
45:26watch it guys
45:27let's have a look
45:28brave man
45:31get there
45:32it's good effort
45:33it's good effort
45:34these chaps are giving me this
45:35would you sign him Jeff
45:36would you sign him
45:37not on
45:38I'll serve it
45:46alright we are about to end the show with a song for the world cup
45:49but before we do would you please thank our guests
45:50Josh Pugh
45:53Wayne Kelly
45:55and Steve Bracknell
45:59and my co-host Josh Whittaker
46:01and Alex Brocker
46:04we'll be back later in the year with more Last Leg
46:07but right now with the world cup coming up
46:09we thought we'd give a shout out to all the countries competing
46:12and wish them luck with every single part of their journey
46:23looking at a summer of football
46:2648 countries and all are competing here
46:31I sit and I wonder just who to cheer
46:38England
46:41not Wales because they went with failure but in June
46:47Scotland might dance to a different tune
46:51tune in to sea rich nation
46:53get to USA vibration
46:56getting into America
46:58getting into America
47:01has become a massive pain in the ass
47:08past the urban Herzegovina
47:11Norway, Switzerland, Portugal, maybe France
47:17even Croatia have got a chance
47:23Sweden, Jordan and Ghana
47:26Brazil, Ivory Coast and Uzbekistan
47:31we're not gonna put money on Iran
47:36which country's gonna be sold home
47:38wipe all the ass from your iPhone
47:41getting into America
47:43getting into America
47:46has become a massive pain in the ass
47:52thanks for watching the last leg
47:53my name's Adam Hills
47:54we'll see you later in the air
47:56for the next leg
47:57we'll see you later in the air
47:57we'll see you later in the air
47:58we'll see you later in the air
47:59we'll see you later in the air
47:59we'll see you later in the air
47:59we'll see you later in the air
48:00we'll see you later in the air
48:00we'll see you later in the air
48:01we'll see you later in the air
48:02we'll see you later in the air
48:03we'll see you later in the air
48:04we'll see you later in the air
48:05we'll see you later in the air
48:06we'll see you later in the air
48:06we'll see you later in the air
48:06we'll see you later in the air
48:07we'll see you later in the air
48:08we'll see you later in the air
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