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00:06You
00:08We're off to the hospital
00:11Sure, it's five past three in the morning. I am but I'm chatting now. Oh boy in a few hours.
00:17It'll be a ball. It'll be a ball
00:20Be like crazy
00:23Now
00:29Are you gonna sleep tonight you promise? Are you lying? Yeah, I know
00:35Are you gonna be up at 8 a.m. Do any breakfast with me ready to leave for ten? Yes
00:41The fact that Aaron has made the effort today to actually participate in this
00:46It feels like we're taking a step in the correct direction like my head was not normal
00:51When I first had her if I get them anxieties again, I think
00:55It could be hard hard for me as a mom hard for us as a couple
01:01Shut up crying. Just this is not helping
01:05Here we go. I don't feel like it's ever gonna work
01:37See he's just opened his mouth to speak
01:41He speaks a lot of what she said now grandma
01:48I've been home from hospital for a week and I still can't believe I'm a mum to baby Carter James
01:55He's such a lovely little boy. He's just perfect
01:59Really, there's just a little doll. He's just oh, I don't I hate putting him down. I just want to
02:04squeeze him all day long
02:06I did end up having a c-section. So I am still recovering
02:11I am still in a bit of pain when my stitching is like it's like a stinging no
02:15My midwife has been she's took my dressing off said my wound called a little bit open
02:19So just put a fresh dressing on sometimes I'll just get a shooting pin in the left side
02:24It is not the most ideal thing obviously when you've got a newborn baby getting up
02:28For feeds and that but I am slowly getting there
02:33Since Tyler came to the bar things have been much better with us, but it didn't last long
02:40Since I have come home from the hospital Tyler has been staying here last night
02:44We had a bit of an argument told him leave never speak to me again. He said he is gonna
02:48come back today
02:49I think he just doesn't realize obviously the pain I am in myself
02:53I can't just get up straight away when that baby's crying and it's just
02:59It just needs to be around a bit more and just help. It's not hard just putting a few clothes
03:05in the drawers
03:06How is it?
03:08Grandma's a little munchkin, aren't you darling?
03:10Sleepy again
03:13How are you feeling anywhere?
03:16Fine, it's just a pain. I am in pain
03:18Is it just where your stitches are?
03:21Yeah
03:22Yeah
03:23Otherwise it's not gonna be forever love is it?
03:25I'm not ready yet, I'm not ready yet
03:28Tyler's back
03:29And it just feels a bit awkward between us
03:32I'm not ready yet, I'm not ready yet
03:36How's it been this morning?
03:39Sleep
03:40Some think some things are
03:40Some think that ears are
03:41Usual
03:44Are your friends? You two know what?
03:47He doesn't lose their attitude, don't you
03:50Do you want your help a bit more?
03:55Yeah, I understand that
03:56Being a dad isn't just feeding and changing
04:00there's lots more little jobs to it
04:02putting the clothes away, making sure everything's clean, things like that
04:08Right, you'll never do it exactly how she wants it.
04:11That doesn't... She can say, right, you do this and do that,
04:14and she'll still shout at you.
04:18I just want you to start helping me, that's all.
04:21Just little things.
04:23Yeah, I want you.
04:25Oh?
04:27Hey!
04:29You're on my team.
04:31Even he's thinking stop mourning.
04:33You're on my team.
04:36Tell mum I stop mourning.
04:40I know Tyler's joking, but that's the problem.
04:43He's not taking me seriously.
05:00You're better than daddy.
05:02No need for that comment, was there?
05:04Absolutely disgraceful.
05:05He's actually washed up more.
05:07It is four years of life than you probably ever have in your life.
05:15This morning was so stressful.
05:17My car broke down and Matt missed his hospital appointment.
05:21So, Matt's having a rare day at home with me and the kids.
05:25You go get in.
05:26Get in.
05:28It's great to have Matt here, but I wish he would focus on us and not worry about work.
05:34He's already planning to work tonight.
05:37He doesn't need to be going back to work today.
05:38It's been booked off.
05:39Just leave it as that.
05:40But the first thing that he was worried about was bloody work.
05:44That's the first thing he thinks about all the time.
05:45Just get work out of your mind.
05:48Accept it.
05:48We've missed the appointment.
05:49Just be with us today.
05:51Why are you working tonight?
05:54Because, Ainge, I've had a whole day at home with you and the kids.
05:58Yep.
05:58And then if I work all night tonight, it pays for the day I had with you.
06:03It's not the fact of you working, it's just the fact that I just think...
06:09I just think there needs to be a bit more of a home work balance.
06:13Yes.
06:14But that will come in a couple of years when we're out of this flat.
06:21This is bloody typical, innit?
06:22I took the day off to go to get this stupid thing done.
06:25And you know what it means when Matt takes a day off work.
06:29What do you mean by that?
06:31I don't like being at work.
06:34I honestly feel like you choose to work later someday, certain days,
06:40because you don't want to come home.
06:43So much in the silence, so alive.
06:46The temperature is rising.
06:48I'd much rather be at home with you lot and have the money.
07:01What do you want, a doughnut?
07:03Is he allowed a doughnut?
07:05No chance, you've got dinner in a minute.
07:06Doughnut, doughnut, doughnut, doughnut, doughnut, doughnut.
07:10If you eat less doughnut, you better eat your dinner.
07:13Why are you shaking your head?
07:16I just don't think he's having a doughnut.
07:18He's going to eat dinner in an hour and he won't be hungry.
07:20Oh, my God. I'm not arguing about a bloody doughnut.
07:26Whatever.
07:28I'll put 50 quid on you, don't hardly touch his dinner.
07:30Why not?
07:30I bet he will eat his dinner.
07:32Not a decent amount.
07:33I bet he will.
07:35Who would have eaten all of it, though?
07:39You have sacks before your dinner.
07:41But I eat my dinner.
07:42I do it every day on my own, Matt.
07:44I know what he eats and how he eats.
07:46Look, you're literally making an argument.
07:47I'm not making an argument.
07:48No.
07:49All right, all right, all right.
07:50The one time he's home and we're arguing about a doughnut.
08:09I'm five and a half months pregnant now, and I'm trying to enjoy it.
08:14But I just can't help being worried.
08:17Last year, I suffered a miscarriage and it was one of the hardest moments of my life.
08:24Being pregnant with endometriosis and having lost before, it's so scary.
08:30And I want to enjoy it because I'm so grateful to even be pregnant.
08:35I want to, you know, enjoy every aspect of this pregnancy because it could be my last.
08:49My best friend Charlotte is also pregnant and has brought her little girl Ada for a play date.
08:55She also suffered a miscarriage, so she's one of the only people I feel I can talk to.
09:02I don't think I have fully relaxed this entire pregnancy.
09:05No.
09:06I have to have a little.
09:07I've struggled, like, getting excited.
09:10Which is completely understandable.
09:12Everyone's like, you've not got anything for baby boy because it's baby number two.
09:16It's nothing to do with that. It's just been so triggering, the bleeding, the pain.
09:21I think even now, I've felt the same guilt that it's like, I haven't celebrated this pregnancy the same way
09:27as I had done with the past two.
09:29Yeah.
09:30Um, but until you've experienced a loss yourself, you then don't understand how hard it is to go through pregnancy
09:38again.
09:38It's awful.
09:39I hate going to scans because...
09:41The anxiety of, like, what is it and what's happening and is something wrong.
09:51It's nice talking to Charlotte because I can open up to her in a way that I've really struggled opening
09:55up to other people because she fully understands how it feels to have, you know, gone through loss and then
10:02be pregnant again and whatnot.
10:03So, I just feel very, very blessed to have Charlotte as a friend.
10:12Like, I just can't wait for him to be in my arms.
10:14Yeah.
10:15And it will be worth it.
10:16Yeah.
10:17But it doesn't invalidate her for you at the moment.
10:19Yeah.
10:37You used the potty today?
10:38Yeah.
10:39Did you?
10:40Did you wear your big boy pants?
10:42Mm-hm.
10:42Should you put your big boy pants on in a minute?
10:45Yeah.
10:45Yeah?
10:46Juggling college, a new relationship and a toddler isn't easy.
10:52And to make my life more difficult, I've started trying to toilet train Khalil.
10:57You're going to tell Mummy if you need to use the toilet.
11:00Say, Mum, I need the toilet.
11:02I need the toilet.
11:04Good boy.
11:05No, thank you.
11:08I feel like with potty training, hand to God, I have not been as consistent as I should be.
11:13As annoying as it is changing the wet clothes and going through the napies and stuff, I need to just
11:19crack on and get in big boy pants.
11:23Can you go and use the toilet?
11:25You need to do poo-poo's.
11:27Poo-poo's.
11:29No, don't do it yet.
11:30Do it on the toilet.
11:30Do it on the toilet.
11:31No.
11:32No, not in your nappy, baby.
11:34Toilet.
11:34Yeah, let Mummy take the nappy off then.
11:36Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
11:39Good job.
11:40High five.
11:42Success.
11:43Are you doing more?
11:44The problem is he wants to hang out in there all day.
11:47Tell Mummy when you're all done, OK?
11:49Yeah.
11:49OK.
12:00He's been in there for 15 minutes.
12:03I think I'll call my mum for some moral support.
12:11Hey.
12:13If I have to go through this, so do you.
12:15Khalil's having a poo in the toilet.
12:17No!
12:22Listen.
12:23Mum, listen.
12:24Khalil, are you all done?
12:25What?
12:29Oh, my God.
12:30Mummy's locked himself in there.
12:33Khalil!
12:34Open the door.
12:37Khalil, open it, please.
12:48You don't lock the door when you go in the toilet.
12:50You can get stuck in here.
12:52Thank you, babe.
12:53Yeah.
12:54Rain's pouring down.
12:55Do you need to use the toilet, yeah?
12:58Do you need to use the toilet?
13:00Are you going to the toilet?
13:05We've made some progress today, but it feels like sometimes it's one step forward and one
13:11step back.
13:13Don't do it in your pants.
13:15Khalil!
13:16Oh, my God.
13:19You need to take your pants off before you do the wee-wee.
13:27Bye-bye, babe.
13:44Aaron, Tina's asleep.
13:47It felt like Aaron was finally starting to make a bit more effort, and we even decided
13:51to go on our first date since Tina was born, but it looks like that might not happen now.
13:58I was looking for the money that we'd put away for our anniversary meal, and I asked Aaron,
14:05where is it?
14:06You know, what have you done with it?
14:07Do you know where it is?
14:08And he was just telling me how he could not remember.
14:11Couldn't remember where he'd put this money.
14:12Eventually, he ends up admitting that he actually bought his work colleagues some drinks,
14:18and I am really, really, really annoyed about it.
14:24Lying just breaks down any trust we've built up.
14:32Shall we talk about it this morning?
14:35Really?
14:36I got up and went to work.
14:39What do you mean, you got up and went to work?
14:41Are you forgetting the lies you told me?
14:43Oh, what, about the drinks?
14:45Yeah.
14:46What do I say about that?
14:48Yeah, but I don't get why you needed to lie, Aaron.
14:52It's you.
14:53What do you mean, it's me?
14:55Even what, you had to kick off.
14:58Well, no, I'm going to kick off more if you're lying about it,
15:00so you could just admit.
15:01Why did you feel the need to say that you cannot remember
15:05what you did with the money last night?
15:09I don't know.
15:11A little white lie.
15:12A little white lie?
15:14Yeah.
15:15Was it necessary?
15:17Probably not.
15:18It would just be nice to not have to call someone out all the time.
15:22It feels like I'm telling off a toddler.
15:24Obviously, me doing a nice gesture for other people,
15:28obviously, I've brought trouble back here.
15:30Now I'm in trouble for spending the money.
15:33Obviously, I should have probably thought a little bit before I did it.
15:38It's going to take something big to make this meal feel special again,
15:41because now it kind of just feels like a bit of a chore.
15:43Yeah, you always let me down.
15:57Oh, dear, hell, I've had enough.
16:02Teddy, what are you doing?
16:03Fire!
16:05As usual, Matt's at work, and I'm doing the bedtime routine alone.
16:10Jessie, you can't escape.
16:12I was hoping for some downtime this evening,
16:14but both kids are really playing up.
16:21Bedtimes are a nightmare without Matt here.
16:27It's supposed to be bedtime.
16:29It is nights like tonight that I wish Matt was home from work,
16:32but I think I'm just so used to doing it on my own now
16:35that it's just a routine.
16:37But it would obviously be nice to have some extra help,
16:40but that's not the case.
16:43There's one of me!
16:44And there's only one!
16:46No-one else is going to do it for me, are they?
16:48And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...
16:51Jessie, what have you done?
17:03What is wrong with you?
17:07No, don't stand in it!
17:11Right.
17:12I just cannot be bothered to clean any more.
17:15I can't be bothered to wipe that up, but I have to.
17:19I'm feeling stressed.
17:21I just want to scream and I want to just...
17:25I just can't cope today.
17:27I really can't cope.
17:53Tower?
17:54Yeah?
17:55Do you want me to come in here?
17:56Yeah, I will do.
17:59After me, my mum chatted with Tyler about helping out more.
18:02I want to see if he's actually taking it on board.
18:08Do you know what, then?
18:10I'll put some clothes away.
18:11Erm, yeah?
18:12Oh, yeah?
18:13These ones, do you?
18:14Mmm.
18:14Obviously, when I was pregnant, yeah, I used to play on the back cheek
18:17and that, but I was doing everything.
18:18Obviously, I can't do that now.
18:19If I stand up for too long, that's it.
18:22I'm in agony.
18:23I need to sit there and then I struggle standing up.
18:25So, I do just need to heal properly then.
18:28I can be there for my boy.
18:31You're going to have to tell me where everything goes, kind of?
18:35There is something telling me he's going to step up here
18:37and he is going to be the tile that I obviously do know.
18:42That just chucking in dry.
18:43Which one?
18:44The very end one.
18:46This one?
18:48Yeah.
18:48Yeah?
18:50Why have you rolled it like a cracker?
18:52I don't know.
18:54I think we've gone better since the baby's come, though.
18:58Yeah, he's brought us more together.
19:01Like having a baby.
19:02Look at him.
19:05Cute, isn't he?
19:06Yeah.
19:07His little face.
19:08We had little arguments and stuff.
19:11Little?
19:11What?
19:12Wouldn't say very little.
19:14We thought we were better together even more.
19:18Last night you did really annoy me, though.
19:22I know, obviously.
19:24I know sorry for that, but...
19:26That's why I went home for a bit.
19:27Gives you a little time for chill.
19:29Relax.
19:29Well, not relax, but...
19:30Relax?
19:31It's the first night you didn't have a proper sleep.
19:33Next time, you know off and that foot kicked me out of, didn't you?
19:36Yeah, I do.
19:37Then you would have had a proper sleep, wouldn't you?
19:39I liked my lesson from that one.
19:47And that's...
19:47That's it.
19:49A round of applause for me.
19:53Job well done.
19:55I am very happy that Tyler has helped out and done things.
19:59That's all.
20:00I need just a little bit of extra hands in your barn.
20:04What's that?
20:05Very, very pleasant, weren't you?
20:07It makes us better for the baby.
20:10And just...
20:12Everyone makes everyone else more happier knowing he's helping and stuff like that.
20:16It just makes life a lot easier.
20:21Mountains are for climbing.
20:24Heavens are for flying.
20:26With your hand in mind, we can do anything.
20:31Oceans are for sailing.
20:33James are for breaking.
20:36It is an Allen key that you need.
20:38You've just not got the right one.
20:40We're decorating Elizabeth Hope's bedroom before the baby comes.
20:44So while she's away at mum's, we're dismantling the toddler bed and building her a new big girl bed.
20:51There's not a way for that Allen key to come off that.
20:54There's not a way for that Allen key to come off that.
20:57Elizabeth Hope's actually getting a real big girl bed now.
21:03Don't pull it off because then you'll break it.
21:07I just feel very proud that, like, how far she's come in a year.
21:12She's grown up so much and now baby brother's going to get that cot and he's going to have a
21:20beautiful space and she's going to have a beautiful space and I just can't wait to see her little face.
21:26It was crazy to think that when I was pregnant with Elizabeth Hope, I was putting up next to microbes
21:31alone, decorating my bedroom the best I could alone.
21:37And, like, worrying about things alone.
21:42And now, I've got you.
21:46And she's got you.
21:49I didn't realise how much a dad could bring to the table until I met you.
21:58Obviously, like, I never had a dad growing up.
22:01And my mum did a bloody fantastic job to the point I never realised what I was missing out on,
22:06you know what I mean?
22:07But seeing yours and Elizabeth Hope's relationship...
22:13..it's so beautiful and she'd missed out on a lot if it weren't for you.
22:18I'm just so glad that she's got a jack.
22:25We just feel so blessed to have you.
22:27I'd say I feel proud that I've been able to come into our family and make a difference.
22:38I just feel so blessed and lucky.
22:42Jack can wind me up.
22:43But, honestly, my kids have the best I've had.
22:47And that's just the top and bottom of it.
22:52I love you.
22:52I love you.
22:54I love you.
22:55I love you a little bit more if you broke the drill.
23:01Alright.
23:07Oh no.
23:15Can you just listen to Mummy?
23:18Stop that!
23:19Lill!
23:22Recently, mum life has been tough.
23:24Lay down.
23:26I worked really hard to make Khalil's room nice,
23:29but it seems to have made her sleeping even worse.
23:33Mummy's not joking anymore.
23:35You need to put on your listening ears now.
23:37Hold it.
23:38Lay there now, please.
23:40The past few nights has been a headache
23:42because I've just been sat there in my bed going,
23:44why do I do this room up?
23:47No, Khalil!
23:49He doesn't see his bedroom as a bedroom anymore.
23:51It's a playground for him.
23:52There's so many toys.
23:53There's so many things to do.
23:56Let's not be a fun few couple of days for me.
24:02We check where we're going.
24:04Should we look left?
24:05And then right?
24:07Hopefully, a trip to the park will wear him out before bedtime.
24:11They can go feral and we can eat.
24:17How are you?
24:21I get no sleep.
24:22My child's not potty-trained.
24:24Milo isn't.
24:27You know what?
24:27Let me move on this side.
24:30Because T thinks she's better than us
24:32because she has a five-year-old
24:33that is potty-trained and sleep-trained.
24:35Not even.
24:37How's Khalil sleeping in this new room?
24:39I had a few thoughts the past few nights.
24:41What have I done?
24:42Why did I do this?
24:43Why did I do up his bedroom?
24:44As much as I love his bedroom, he doesn't sleep in it anymore.
24:46Is he being silly?
24:47It's a playground.
24:49Staregate?
24:50It's already on the door.
24:51Bed bars.
24:53Not like a prison, but you know, like the...
24:54No, no, I like that idea.
24:56Tell me more.
24:57Do tell me more.
24:58Oh, my God.
25:00I just have to be stern.
25:02Because I give in so easily,
25:03especially when he's been crying for a bit too long.
25:05And he says...
25:06He goes,
25:07I'm like, oh, you're just a baby.
25:09But you're not.
25:09You're two.
25:10I love you.
25:10But you need to go to bed now.
25:12And I think it's harder when you're the only person
25:14that's telling them no, no, no, no, no.
25:16Yeah.
25:17You have to be the bad guy.
25:18Yeah.
25:18And you have to be the fun guy as well.
25:20And when you're the fun guy too much,
25:21they don't take you seriously.
25:22Yeah.
25:22Yeah.
25:23You'll get there.
25:24You can do it.
25:25I believe in you.
25:26I do it all just because...
25:31After hearing from different perspectives,
25:34like, it's just...
25:34I just end up understanding that we're all just stuck.
25:37We're all just stuck.
25:38And I think we found out today, like,
25:40no matter what advice you take or whatever you read,
25:42every child works differently.
25:44It's just a journey.
25:46This is why I don't complain,
25:47because obviously when Cleo's being stubborn,
25:49I'm like, I should probably be quiet.
25:50So I was worse as a child.
25:51My mum always goes to me,
25:53this was your karma.
25:54And I don't even argue with her.
25:54I'm like, yeah.
25:55That's what my mum says,
25:56this is your karma.
25:57And I think I weren't that bad.
25:58I was.
25:59I don't know.
26:01I don't know anything for you.
26:10Just because...
26:16Oh, yeah.
26:27Oh, you're so warm.
26:29Look at your little curls.
26:30A bit of this.
26:32Despite Aaron spending the money we put aside for our anniversary meal,
26:36we're still going to go out to celebrate.
26:38My mum is going to watch Tino for us, but it's the first time we've been out,
26:43just the two of us, since he was born.
26:45So that's playing on my mind.
26:47I have got my cameras on, so I will be watching my mum and seeing what them two are getting
26:52up to.
26:52I need to know that he's safe, otherwise that would distract me more.
26:55So having the cameras on in the background is just going to give me peace of mind
26:58and let me be able to relax and enjoy the time out we were having together.
27:03I do want to have fun tonight.
27:05I just need to try and switch off.
27:18This is nice.
27:21Are you going to take your coat off?
27:23I am.
27:24Just try and get the cameras up.
27:28Aaron.
27:29What?
27:31The cameras are offline.
27:33Unlucky.
27:35Can't check up on your mum.
27:37I'm going to call her.
27:41She's going to answer.
27:43No, she does.
27:43Should I get annoyed?
27:45I know.
27:45She's going to be annoyed that I'm calling.
27:49Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
27:51The person you're trying to reach is not available.
27:53I told you.
27:53Should I answer?
27:54Please record your message.
27:57That is cheeky.
28:00I'm sure Mum and Tina will be fine.
28:02I just need Aaron to help take my mind off them.
28:05If they don't fall into us, rethink your energy.
28:11Cheers.
28:15It just feels a bit awkward between us.
28:17Like we've forgotten how to talk to each other.
28:22I feel like Tino is like our conversation starter.
28:26It is.
28:27Like if he was here right now, we'd be like, I'd be like, Tino, do you think Daddy likes his
28:32food?
28:32Like, we just...
28:33No.
28:34Yeah, we do.
28:35When do we realistically?
28:36When do we talk?
28:39Uh, running out for muck.
28:41No we don't.
28:42No we do?
28:42No we don't.
28:47No we don't.
28:47My camera.
28:48Is it back on?
28:49Yeah.
28:50Living room motion was detected.
28:51Uh oh.
28:52Crying.
28:53Oh, it's just...
28:54What's she doing?
28:55It's his mum blowing her nose.
28:56Oh, look at him.
28:57No, sorry.
28:58Oh, my God.
29:00Look.
29:02Oh.
29:03Cute little bean.
29:06What should we do now?
29:08Do you want another drink?
29:09No.
29:10I'm good for it.
29:13We might as well just go home then.
29:15I mean, if we're not doing anything else, what's the point?
29:19Don't get the bill please.
29:20Yeah, please.
29:21Cheers.
29:23Yeah.
29:26It's yours.
29:27It's like a trophy.
29:29A trophy put it in the frame.
29:31The meal I paid for for our anniversary.
29:41It felt like a first date.
29:43Me and Aaron have gone so quick into our relationship.
29:45Everything's happened one after the other.
29:48And we've never really been on many dates.
29:51So without me being either pregnant or having a baby.
29:56So it was definitely really, really awkward.
29:58Really, really hard to do.
30:15Yeah.
30:19All right.
30:22Feel like you're leaving her.
30:24They usually do.
30:25They just get a little ball patch at back.
30:28Tyler's gone out for a bit and I'm finally feeling up to getting out of bed.
30:34I'm really happy that he came back after I kicked him out last night.
30:38He's going to help out a bit more.
30:39It feels like we're a little family again.
30:43There is still things we need to work on.
30:46We will get there.
30:48We've stepped up.
30:49We've stepped up now both of being pregnant and the baby.
30:51So we can start those two out definitely.
30:53Just as long as we're both obviously there for that baby, that's all that matters really.
30:57With Tyler though, I did bite my tongue last night.
31:00I was a bit annoying myself but I thought I do have to take a step back.
31:05You're going to fall out of fallouts.
31:07Not everything is going to be hunky dory.
31:08At this age now, Carter James is literally a week old.
31:12In a few months time when he's doing a bit more and not sleeping.
31:19And when you start not sleeping yourself, that's when you're going to argue because you're tired.
31:24I'm here, you use me.
31:26But I'm not asked to do one thing.
31:27If you want to have a shower and that, I'll have baby.
31:29Yeah, but I'm not asked to do one thing.
31:32I know but it's little things what need doing, what are not being done.
31:36So it's like, well, I intervene.
31:40You don't have sterilised bottles, you do that.
31:43Yeah, because you can't walk proper.
31:45Tyler can sterilise bottles.
31:47Yeah, but...
31:48Basically trying to say because Tyler's not doing it, you're doing it.
31:51No, we've only just gone on to them bottles.
31:52I know but it does nothing else but to look after a baby.
31:56Oh, right, OK, OK.
32:03I don't want you to do nothing anymore.
32:04I don't want you to sterilise no bottles.
32:05So you're just being horrible now?
32:07No, I'm not.
32:07No, I'm not.
32:08Because I'll do it myself.
32:09Yeah, but you can't right now.
32:10You've got to look after yourself.
32:13No, I don't want you.
32:15Tyler can do a bit more.
32:18Well, I'll get him to do it.
32:20You had to fall out with Tyler to make him put clothes away.
32:22Yeah, I know that, I know that.
32:24But is that what's going to happen all the time?
32:26No, but we do argue still as well.
32:29And that's why I won't tell you nothing,
32:30because no matter what, everything gets thrown back in my face,
32:33just like you've just done then.
32:37But no matter what you're doing, it's never going to be right for you.
32:43I'm trying.
32:45But I am so much biting my tongue.
32:48I don't care.
32:48I don't want to hear it anymore.
32:50People just don't understand.
32:52You just don't understand me.
32:55I am going to wind up about everything.
32:57Right, well, you can't bother.
32:58The conversation's over.
32:59Right.
33:02Sometimes you just don't understand.
33:04It's one of them where Leone can wind you bait them all day long.
33:09I've just said, oh, I really agree with you there.
33:11And then I get it all.
33:13Don't bother doing this.
33:14Don't bother doing that.
33:17And...
33:20I think I know the outcome, what's going to happen in time,
33:24but I suppose we'll have to wait and see, won't we?
33:29She needs to realise, at the end of the day, he's his dad.
33:31He's not done nothing wrong to her.
33:34Me and Tyler, that's our only issue.
33:37She's nothing to do with it.
33:38Sometimes I wish she didn't even live here at this point.
33:57What's these?
33:59What's your big boy pants?
34:01Are you going to wear them today?
34:03Yeah.
34:03Yeah.
34:04With all my focus on Khalil's potty training this week,
34:07I'm worried my college studies are falling behind.
34:11We're going to take your napkin off later, yeah?
34:13Yeah.
34:13Yeah?
34:13Good job.
34:15Things are only going to get harder.
34:17As tomorrow, my mum's going away for work for a few weeks,
34:20so I'll have no extra help.
34:25What's that?
34:26I do feel sad because it's just so nice having your mum here,
34:30and I'm not going to lie, like, I love the amount of support
34:33my mum gives me, even though, in the beginning,
34:35when I was first getting my foot in with this whole motherhood thing,
34:37I was getting a bit annoyed because I was like,
34:39Mum, I need to figure this out by myself.
34:41But then, over the years, I've realised, like,
34:43there's no shame in accepting help and just taking it,
34:47because it takes a village, like they say,
34:49and my mum makes up a large portion of my village.
34:51We're here.
34:53We're here.
34:55We're here.
34:55But while I've still got her here to help,
34:57we're going to enjoy the sunshine and a day out with Khalil
35:00and my little brother, AJ.
35:03Wow, there's a train!
35:06Chase it, chase the train, go, go, go, go, go.
35:12What is it?
35:14Oh, there's someone in there.
35:18Khalil, no, can we be gentle, please?
35:23We'll just sit here.
35:24We can watch them running in a circle.
35:27I'm going to miss you when you go tomorrow.
35:30I'll miss you, too.
35:31Well, you're going to be fine.
35:32I miss your car more than you.
35:34Your chauffeur?
35:35Yeah.
35:35That's all you miss?
35:36Yeah, actually.
35:36You're going to be fine.
35:38You'll be fine.
35:40I know.
35:41It's preparing you for the tougher world.
35:42No, I know it's fine.
35:44Yeah.
35:44You've already tasted it, so...
35:46And you're doing it like a pro.
35:48I never really know
35:52Which way this is gonna go
35:54Sometimes I do worry about Whitney
35:57because I feel she has a lot in her plate.
35:59I do give her a lot of praises,
36:01but sometimes I think she doesn't believe me,
36:04but I actually genuinely mean it
36:05because for a 19-year-old
36:07to be doing what she is doing now,
36:11to be honest, she deserves a medal.
36:17So how's college and everything?
36:19It's not bad.
36:19I'm literally just coming towards the end.
36:22Do you know, there's a lot of mum guilt there, though,
36:24because of school.
36:25Obviously, I've just finished college
36:26and I said I was going to take a gap year, work,
36:28spend a bit more time with Khalil,
36:29but now I'm contemplating,
36:30so I just go straight into uni
36:31and it's like I feel bad
36:32I've not spent a lot of time with him.
36:35Do you know what I mean?
36:36Don't feel bad.
36:37Also, another thing to consider as well is
36:40when you take that gap year,
36:43are you going to be strong-willed
36:45that you're going to go back?
36:46Because you can easily keep saying,
36:49I'll go, I'll go,
36:50and then it will never come.
36:52Well, I was strong-willed to go back to college,
36:54so hopefully it's the same when uni comes around.
37:01If I don't start uni this year,
37:03then there is a real possibility
37:04that I may just never go back.
37:06Yeah, because I don't really have discipline.
37:08I may enjoy making money
37:09and then I can just start uni at any point
37:11and then just keep pushing it back and back.
37:18You're going to do what you're going to do.
37:20You've got this, you know,
37:22your habits are under control,
37:23and I don't doubt that.
37:37Just keep pushing it up.
37:41Stop kicking your mum now.
37:43I'm not having it.
37:44There's a little piece of me
37:46that wants to give you sympathy.
37:48Teddy, you kick mum with me again,
37:49I'll be taking you to naughty corner.
37:50We're not doing it.
37:51Me!
37:52I'm not having it!
37:54My relationship with Matt feels really broken.
37:59But I'm trying not to think about that today,
38:01as it's Mum's birthday and I've got big plans.
38:05Would you like to come and help me with Nanny's presents?
38:07I have set up a surprise birthday meal for her.
38:10So all my family's going to be there,
38:12just like a little family get-together,
38:14which I think is going to be really nice for her.
38:16There, there.
38:17Once again, Matt's missing out because he's working.
38:24I just want to enjoy the moment with my family.
38:28I just have a nice time.
38:30Mum thinks we're picking up a pushchair.
38:32You look nice.
38:35She has no idea I've organised a surprise meal with all the family.
38:41They've got a table.
38:50Happy birthday!
38:52Hey!
38:54Hey, you!
38:55What are you all doing here?
39:02Oh, fresh you are.
39:04I'm supposed to be getting a pushchair.
39:08Thanks, Ted.
39:08Give us a kiss.
39:09Let's go a bit later.
39:22I know today is all about my mum.
39:24She's a biscuit!
39:29But I need some advice about me and Matt.
39:35Did you like your surprise?
39:36Yeah, that was lovely.
39:38I didn't know nothing about that.
39:39You've actually done something.
39:40Yeah, I wasn't going to do anything.
39:42Bless you, thank you.
39:43But you've got the kids tomorrow, haven't you?
39:45I have.
39:46So I can go to Matt.
39:47Yes.
39:47I'm going to talk to him.
39:49Are you?
39:49I just want to say, like, is he happy?
39:51Yeah.
39:51Why has he been acting like that?
39:53How do you feel?
39:54Are you still happy?
39:57No.
40:03It's just...
40:04hard.
40:07What I've noticed when you've had a chat before is, like, oh, then, if you're not happy...
40:11Leave.
40:12Leave, then.
40:13It's over.
40:13That's all he ever says.
40:14But then that's, yeah.
40:15But does he ask me that because he wants me to leave?
40:17I don't know.
40:18I really don't get it at the minute.
40:20He's...
40:21He really is different.
40:25The feeling I get that, when I'm around them, that Matt doesn't really want to be with
40:28Angel anymore.
40:29He's more interested in his work.
40:31But I feel that's an escape because he's not quite happy in his relationship.
40:37What vibe do you hear, something that you don't want to hear?
40:39I don't really care anymore.
40:41I'm just done with the whole situation.
40:44Yeah.
40:45I can't be bothered to argue.
40:46Yeah.
40:48Just see what you can get out in the conversation.
40:52It might make you feel at peace a bit more.
40:54Yeah, definitely.
40:55I think this chat is long overdue.
40:57Like, we haven't really had time to actually talk because the times he is home, he's sleeping,
41:02or we just are so busy with the kids that we don't even ever get time to talk.
41:07If you don't hear what you want to hear, I'm here to help you, all right?
41:11I'll always have your back.
41:13I appreciate that.
41:14It's a really hard situation, to be honest, because we've been together for so long.
41:19But I think there is love there.
41:21I don't know.
41:22I don't know.
41:23It's hard.
41:32Do you love it?
41:34Yeah.
41:35Can you get on?
41:36Oh, yeah, baby.
41:41Oh, there's someone in there.
41:45We can be a family.
41:52You're angry with me, aren't you?
41:54Yeah.
41:55I don't know what I'm doing, isn't it?
41:56I hate her.
41:57I generally do.
41:58I'm getting to the point I don't even want to be here.
42:00They're not touching me.
42:01I love you, but they're not touching me.
42:02Today was one of the more frustrating days of toilet training.
42:05Have you had an accident?
42:07Accident.
42:08You're mainly there to be our support system with her.
42:11It's hard for me, because I want to be fully involved.
42:16He's not a good partner, and the fact that if I get to do the washing up without, you know,
42:20clinging onto my legs and things like that, that's a favour to me.
42:23Like, what's going to happen when the new baby comes, when she's, like, three weeks old?
42:28Yeah, I get where you're coming from.
42:30I'm really bloody awkward.
42:31I feel like I can't talk.
42:32I get fed up of being told, like, I'm always doing the wrong thing, and it pisses me off.
42:36And I feel like that with you.
42:37I'm not doing this.
42:37I just feel like, like, every time I try to, like, speak, I just get shut down.
42:42I love Matt, but is love enough to stay if I'm not happy?
42:47If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this programme, please head to our helpline page.
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