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00:00Ta-da!
00:03Are you ready for Puddy's Day?
00:05Yeah!
00:06Shh! Gitchy!
00:11Where's yours?
00:12You look like a leprechaun drag queen.
00:14Where's yours?
00:16Man, I'm ready!
00:17Where is it?
00:18Yeah, I'm ready!
00:21Oh, you said you was getting dressed up!
00:24I am!
00:26I didn't know you'd go that far!
00:34Oh, Barcelona!
00:34Have you ever done how like that?
00:36Well, I ain't telling you what they had!
00:40Oh, Barcelona!
00:43No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:46A what?
00:47Food fetish!
00:48I had no idea that was a thing!
00:50Remove my britches.
00:51Expose your loins.
00:52I like that.
00:56Oh, Ronnie!
00:57This is weird.
00:58Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
01:00This is why I don't date.
01:01That is Dyson with the devil.
01:03Oh, no!
01:04He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
01:06Clearly.
01:06A Bentley Continental!
01:08I think I'd rather call it a day, Natalie, wouldn't you?
01:11Who's been arrested now, and for what?
01:15In the week Jessie Buckley became the first Irish woman ever to win Best Actress at the Oscars, we enjoyed
01:23lots of great telly.
01:25There was a must-see BAFTA winner on Netflix.
01:28I've seen quite a few youngsters for this job.
01:31Aye.
01:31And I don't think I'm breaking any confidentiality when I tell you that that is the best cup of tea
01:37yet.
01:38Great.
01:39It means something when someone you respect tells you that you make good tea.
01:43Dad's never said it to us, has he?
01:44Has he ever said it to you?
01:45Once or twice, yeah.
01:46When?
01:47No, he hasn't.
01:49I've written it down in my diary.
01:51What did you say?
01:52Once or twice?
01:53Yeah.
01:53Well, that's more than the number of times you made me a tea.
01:56Mrs. Trump had her own show on Prime Video.
02:00If we go out, I think people will already know where we would go out, so.
02:04I do like her smokey eye, don't you think?
02:09I might try and read that, look.
02:11He'll see me.
02:15I might try it out, you know, on a night owl or two.
02:18And then when people ask me, ooh, that looks nice.
02:21Where did you get this one from, Melania?
02:23First lady.
02:25And there was some straight talking down under on E4.
02:29Um, so one thing I asked the experts for but didn't get is Bradley Cooper.
02:35Clearly doesn't fit her profile, does it?
02:38I mean, when I married you, Steve, I thought you looked like Brian Ferry,
02:42but now you look like Danny DeVito, so people change, don't they?
02:48Sorry?
02:50They change.
02:52Who will I look like now?
02:54Danny DeVito.
02:56Danny DeVito.
02:56I married Brian Ferry.
02:58What happened?
03:06In Wiltshire.
03:07On the mainland, we drink out of cups and saucers, not jugs, Mary.
03:11Yes, there's no mugs or cups in the kitchen.
03:14You're obviously relapsing into your northern Irish habits.
03:18I have to drink out of this because you have taken all the cups and mugs…
03:22Is that…
03:22Is that…
03:22…into the garden.
03:23Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:26So I'm just going to have to keep drinking out of jugs until all the jugs have gone into the
03:31garden as well.
03:32And what will I be left with?
03:34Saucepans.
03:35I'll be drinking out of saucepans next.
03:36No, Mary.
03:38We don't want you relapsing into barbarism.
03:41What do you mean, relapsing into barbarism?
03:45What are you talking about?
03:46Well, you've come such a long way since you've moved to the mainland.
03:51On Saturday night, Graham Norton had us all in a spin again on ITV.
03:56My favourite type of wheel is my car steering wheel with that lovely diamond-y cover on.
04:02Horrible, that.
04:05The worst thing I've ever seen.
04:06Are you doing your newspaper quizzes every day to keep your brain in gear?
04:09I do the easy crossword and all the little puzzles.
04:12How well done, you?
04:13Except the cryptic.
04:14I can't do the cryptic because I simply don't know what they're talking about.
04:20Wheel of Fortune!
04:24Oh, stop it, there's no need for that.
04:25Let's start winning with three quick-fire puzzles.
04:28You got your buzzers there?
04:30All right.
04:30Right, okay, I'm ready.
04:31I'm ready.
04:32The clue for all three of these is curious collectives.
04:36Curious collectives.
04:38I'm lost with the clue.
04:39This one is worth £500.
04:42Er, a?
04:43Yes.
04:45Of.
04:45A something of.
04:50A prickle of.
04:51A prickle of what?
04:52A prickle of.
04:54A prickle of.
04:55A prickle of.
04:55Juleps.
04:57A prickle of fuck-ups.
04:59No.
05:00Hedgehogs.
05:01No.
05:02Porcupines!
05:04Porcupines!
05:04And it's Daniel.
05:05A prickle of Porcupines?
05:08He's owning all the time!
05:10I got that!
05:11You did.
05:11I got that before all of them.
05:13Well done.
05:15another curious collective a something of something ah where's our web you're
05:23getting our first letter i think everything starts with ah is it true
05:29something goes flamingos there's got a mingles
05:35a boy's own yeah this is well hard a flamboyant of a flamingos
05:43daniel a flamboyance of flamingos a flamboy oh
05:51it's all x isn't it celebrity second jobs
05:56can i do my no no no
06:01lighthouse keeper billy piper no you can see it
06:07who could be a lighthouse keeper um dua lipa lighthouse keeper daniel
06:13and it's daniel again daniel can you just give the others a chance please
06:16dua lipa lighthouse keeper wow oh my god no one's ever gonna get
06:23that i got it i got it did you see me get that then
06:26i don't think you will either has a lighthouse she must be that must be what
06:30she does in her spare time second job lighthouse surely not this is a very
06:33special skill you have daniel this guy must be an expert in this
06:37random game that no one can figure out yeah
06:40you've got to level the playing field take daniel's glasses off him or something
06:44you've got to level the playing field you've got to level the playing field
06:47you've got to level the playing field
06:49who's going to solve it celebrity second jobs
06:53celine dion celine dion why do you keep following me everything can't say you're like a parrot you
07:03traffic warden uh something gordon traffic warden traffic warden traffic warden
07:29who no oh my god there you know who's gonna come in
07:39and nick it daniel james corden traffic warden
07:43yeah oh they should have let her have it mary no she got it wrong
07:49oh you was nearly there nicole you give him well at least the buzzer's working yeah
07:57in kaffili ah should you fancy your idea of uh going to paris for your birthday or no
08:03well i don't mind france paris is in france i thought it was two different places
08:09dave and his wife shirley but paris is the capital of france
08:14oh i didn't know how long have you been under this
08:17well i always thought you know the what's that leaning tower of pisa in it
08:24that's in paris isn't it that's in italy and rome is it yeah oh no i mean the other
08:31geographically i mean the other building
08:36not the eiffel oh the eiffel tower the blackpool tower no the eiffel tower the eiffel tower the eiffel
08:44yeah it's the eight foot tower oh right god it's not where the hell i am on wednesday night the
08:52latest
08:52bunch of math's newlyweds were moving in together on e4 i remember your wedding now she and what
08:58what do you mean my wedding sorry i remember our wedding and i remember what the most thing that
09:04your mother was so proud of was the amount of um voluvon and small sausage rolls start this again and
09:11trifle mary
09:15she's produced several trifles and i remember your mother coming with uh wearing a nylon bikini
09:21to the wedding no no that's not correct well exactly neither did my mother serve
09:26trifles but if my memory serves me well it doesn't i asked that other day when we're going to get
09:36married and he said we're not so i says well what about inheritance tax and he says well there's ways
09:41and means what a way to woo a guy let's talk about when one of us dies woo let's get
09:48married i'm clutching
09:50at straws here mel and luke darling i know these two have got off on the wrong foot so far
10:05oh this looks fun doesn't it they don't seem happy do they
10:13that freaking violin's getting on my mess it's just awkward and frosty man why
10:19they're not talking to each other i'm feeling quite flat because obviously the situation with
10:24mel and i isn't great we can see that really you don't have to tell us bloody hell it definitely
10:29feels like a little bit uncomfortable he makes me look excitable stop it feels like pretty awkward
10:37to be honest yeah welcome to marriage but that's a nice little area yeah and it's got a coffee machine
10:43which is great well you can't have a relationship without a coffee machine can you no you're not
10:52very nice yeah and a microwave oh yeah let's just point everything around the room yeah and it's
10:58got a window oh my god it's got a door it's got a bed it's got a bit yeah the
11:02photo ranking task
11:03returns in revelations week oh god this is the worst one isn't it brutal you're an absolute dick if
11:11you don't put your way first exactly i mean absolutely couldn't be clearer i feel like this is
11:15really hard challenge to do like they're all all the girls are pretty yeah yeah god please just
11:21please just get it right that's the shag pile there and that's the avoid just a picture of it
11:28and then pop you right here ah he's put airfare
11:34mel number one nailed it this is a truthful experiment this is a truthful task pride myself
11:41in being honest throughout this whole experiment oh she's going to be brutally honest someone tells me
11:46she ain't gonna put him first we've got scott here and then grayson here tell you what they've all
11:54got turkey teeth aren't they oh oh look at you and then you got you here
12:06where's she gonna put him now tom i'm a little bit nervous simon physically like you do like some sort
12:12of like great god oh no i feel about coming on that so i've put you just here next to
12:17great close
12:18second though oh oh that's not bad considering they're not getting on that's terrible it's not
12:26bad mum if a man did that to me you would be fuming that that just knocks me down even
12:32further to be
12:33honest oh luke have i done anything to make you feel under confident well it's a bit late now mary
12:41oh
12:42uh i might you might have asked that question 60 years ago
12:50oh no it's another task we've crafted a series of prompts for you to answer oh god
12:58the most shocking thing i did after a breakup was get in the car with my friends and drive past
13:04his house multiple times during the night time to make sure he was home what the hell oh i've been
13:09there done that that's normal that's not weird i would probably do that as well yeah i think that's
13:15okay in this sense i'm gonna say oh dear me and if his car was there it meant that he
13:21was home
13:23so night made oh my god the red flags are waving wildly at him
13:41right
13:45what do you even say to that what do you say to that what the hell luke has decided that
13:51he might
13:51need some space i'm not surprised run luke run you see me and page we were not like this at
14:01the
14:01beginning but similar you know page moved up north to go to uni early doors you know within three months
14:07of us being together didn't like it and then went back down south the only problem was that while the
14:13absence makes the heart grow fonder it cost me a fortune in days we'll see i wouldn't see it
14:17but you won't hear your moaning about it no never mention it
14:23never see that money again but it's worth it i've got my children now haven't i
14:28and your wife i'm the wife obviously
14:38in blackpool paige and eva went out to dancing this morning yeah and i was having a chat with jimmy
14:44because it's mother's day isn't it tomorrow oh yes it is have you got her a card for kids no
14:48i thought you were picking me one up no picture card for our mum pete and his little sister sophie
14:55fucking hell you leave me in the shit you sometimes listen in case you haven't noticed i don't have a
15:03wife and kids it's not my remit no but you have a brother who's shite with stuff like this but
15:10i've
15:10sorted out for our mum and nan yeah but also sorted out for my children's mum this week we were
15:18game for a laugh again on prime video ellie last one laughing new series new comedians
15:27the time i laugh most heartily is that
15:33come on what do i laugh most heartily at my own jokes oh yes your own jokes or of someone
15:39else
15:40repeats your own joke and then you interrupt them yes you do for the next six hours 10 comedians
15:47will be locked in here trying to make each other laugh whilst trying not to laugh themselves i know
15:52for a fact i'd be hopeless yeah you know i'd be first out actually we might be all right at
15:59this game
15:59because we would just have such bad verbal diarrhea that no one could say anything to us
16:03that's true just don't let anyone else speak yeah talk at constant drivel barrage
16:09we're gonna love this roisin the defending champion is going back in it's bob mortimer oh
16:14you idiot use your favorite love nobody sounds a chance for bob martimer oh no no no
16:23look at you oh god i got no chance bob as our reigning champion do you have any tips for
16:30your
16:30fellow players yeah get a safety face safety face a safety face i'm gonna go an under vote
16:42somebody said i've got a resting face and i don't know what they're on about
16:45yeah i don't right time to start the game last one laughing wins
16:51oh no right we're in nobody laughs oh no no no look no see i would be out already get
16:59out
17:01can i join you um may i oh jesse no i'd go like ah no get away yes you may
17:11you're not sure are you
17:12well it's just because you are a you're a dangerous bloke do you mean i'd say go sit with somebody
17:17else
17:18fuck off fuck off bob i once woke up and um there was a a on my windowsill
17:28oh see toilet humor just makes me laugh yeah that would be me gone proper like a human shirt
17:34yeah well i think it would come from me what do you say to that
17:43okay oh romesh is in trouble is he gonna get romesh now
17:49oh he got himself well that was horrible bob thank you
17:56there have him nearly gone bob have had to move away mate yeah because i think bob is on the
18:00verge of
18:01uh going a bit then what's your favorite bank that you don't have an account with it
18:05santander because of the bikes because of ant and deck oh look he's going for bob don't get
18:11caught up in bob multimer have you met them much i've lifted up and he's a stupid twine
18:19eh really yeah when they were going to a tough their fellow years no physically okay lifted them
18:26he's not talking about lifting little people can i lift you you can give it a go
18:33i mean that would be surreal isn't it see someone just lift up bob mortimer
18:41oh it did
18:50alan he's going he's going was alan laughing he was smiling jim okay that was definitely a laugh
18:58oh what's that mean someone lost who laughed who was it so alan were it bob did bob laugh when
19:05sam
19:05picked him up let's have a look at the replay let's have a look who is it you can give
19:10it a go
19:12oh oh sam oh it's him oh it's bob oh he's got him he got him do you remember that
19:21time when we
19:22got on when we was in egypt on that cruise i can't because i can't even look at you now
19:26when you're
19:26talking about it i just don't look at you that night and it was daytime wasn't it daytime and we
19:33had to get on i was getting on that felucca yeah in egypt and this woman got on with the
19:37sunglasses
19:38and then it's gaff and she like slits and the week follow and landed in the dial floated down the
19:47dial and i knew i just turned away because i thought i can't i can't look at you because it's
19:54you will laugh at people's downfalls i did it when there's other freaking wig flying down the river
20:04in north london amira i'll have to show you this oh is that your ear outfit but i'm not feeling
20:10it
20:10so i need to get your opinion on it let's see let's see sisters amira and amani what the hell
20:16is that
20:21oh my god it looks like you walked into a rainforest and they bedazzled you i don't even
20:27know what to make of it it's not it it's actually it looks cheap as well money how much was
20:33it like a
20:33pound how much was it this was i think i spent 80 pounds on it 80 pounds it comes because
20:42it comes
20:42it just to go underneath and it comes with a headscarf as well so it's a three-piece set oh
20:48wow the whole
20:48shebang yeah this week it was a true story turned into a movie that had us gripped on netflix i
20:55can't
20:56wait for this i swear i know you do no you're always the film i swear you see i've seen
21:01documentaries with
21:02john davidson in we like him don't we yeah he's a very interesting man it must be quite difficult
21:07living with tourette's yeah
21:10i think bro we've been there julie i was going to say about that scotland yeah he's got us john
21:20i can't do it can we not just pick up another time we could deliver it to my house
21:23john it's an mbe not a pizza oh my god the mbe always getting an award always be getting off
21:30the
21:30the queen or somebody like that john i'll embarrass myself don't you i'll see something i regret he's trying
21:35to leave he don't trust himself to not say anything or be embarrassed oh oh it's a queen oh
21:45oh look you can see the ticks come in i mean that would be stressful and daunting for anyone
21:53walking in there let alone if you've got Tourette's exactly
21:59fuck the queen oh my god oh my oh bless him oh i didn't mean it he didn't mean it
22:09he can't help it
22:14that is one way to make an entrance isn't it am i allowed to laugh at this simon or is
22:20that
22:20disrespectful there there are times it is genuinely funny okay you can tell there's
22:25other times where it's really quite distressing so we try and navigate but yeah sometimes it's genuinely
22:31funny hey oh have we gone back in time well it must be when he's younger isn't he growing up
22:39yeah maybe get some oxy cubes as well john he's out for a stew it's true how's she telling him
22:45to stop
22:46it is all that that's what i'm saying you know back then it's like it was a lack of understanding
22:49it was a very very strong lack of understanding johnny d jesus how you doing oh here's his mate
22:57murray oh look at them they're pleased to see each other fancy we drink or something john have a
23:02wee catch-up no he can't drink murray he's on medication yeah we can go for a coke or something
23:07we could maybe just go for a walk or something yeah that'd be good
23:11no we aren't going for one of them john might have seen each other for a while
23:17good way to catch up see when we get in there john can you just relax and don't do anything
23:21weird
23:21please i won't oh the boys are on the town how's this gonna go first night out it goes one
23:27way or
23:27another this is perfect place for him though isn't it because it's quite loud hairy yeah
23:43oh john's vibes enough
23:45can i buy you a drink ah can i buy you a drink ah he's a smooth operator oh my
23:51son tell you what
23:53he's not backwards and coming forwards is that straight in there wasn't it yeah
24:00oh she's feeling him someone's getting the eye giving the eye yes
24:07oh oh dear that was a tick that was a tick right
24:12oh no oh god fisticuffs now
24:18oh that wasn't john's fault that must be difficult but we can't control it that kid
24:24don't know it lee does he no he doesn't know he thinks he's picked a fight yeah a bit later
24:29murray's mum had lined up an interview for john tell me at the community center's looking for an
24:33assistant they're interviewing next week he needs somebody to believe in him she believes in him
24:39don't she for a job as a caretaker how are you john all right nice to be here how are
24:43you doing
24:44okay good i don't he's told me a lot about you good right oh dear oh dear john right on
24:50his face as
24:51well hi i i didn't just get that note about the blue roll yeah no worries yeah anyway yeah he's
24:57just
24:58not taking notice of what he's doing so the caretaker knows he's got yeah he knows he's got
25:01to rex yeah but he's not making it an issue no is he hey i'll give you a rundown in
25:07the place
25:07give me a cork in my hand
25:11of all the things they say what the hell i'd be like what pardon i mean we all think it
25:17but we don't
25:18say it so now we get to the most important part of the interview john bum sex oh boy the
25:27thing is
25:28you don't know whether it's funny but you feel bad for laughing because you know he doesn't mean it
25:33but i'm not laughing at you and that is can you make a decent cup of tea he's a good
25:41guy isn't he
25:41tommy fella he's just taking no offense from it at all there you go tommy oh no did he just
25:51spit in
25:52his brew i'm really sorry i'll take that one bye all right that's a good idea yeah good idea yeah
25:58yeah
25:58i don't think this interview was going very well is it really bless him are you okay with the texan
26:03this wheeling
26:06what texan what's around oh
26:19oh no don't i'm gonna cry i literally love this man i spend half my life
26:25training people to react like tommy yes because half the people don't they can't they don't know
26:32what to do tommy's just got it
26:43in surrey i've succumbed simon
26:47to a water bottle simon and his sister jane how many of those do you get through a day
26:54well i'm just aiming for one at the moment okay so that would be a litre of water oh it's
27:00definitely
27:00good isn't it they say two a day don't they what two litres a day something like that okay i'm
27:06gonna
27:06see how what effect it has on my having to stop and do a wee all the time yeah yeah
27:11but i feel it's a
27:19positive thing
27:21right i'm right in with the in crowd simon it's like sitting next to an athlete
27:26the olympic games on friday there were more things to think about over breakfast on the bbc
27:40that's what it actually sounds like insane that's what it sounds like around half of us now choose
27:45restaurants based on social media recommendations all the time yeah how else are we choosing
27:51restaurants if i haven't seen it on tick tock i'm not going so-called content creators might
27:57be replacing traditional food critics i've never ever paid attention to traditional food critics
28:03so i'm all for the influences because i'm all over social medias if you're lucky enough to go out for
28:08a restaurant meal these days chances are you've seen diners sort of snapping pics of their dishes
28:13before they tuck in i can be guilty of that oh if i see a big if i've ordered a
28:17big whopping burger
28:19and it comes out i'm taking a picture of it late so i can send it to everyone saying look
28:24at this beast
28:24i've just took on hands up i am guilty this i'm always looking at food blogs i can't help it
28:31i
28:32like to look at the food i like to look at them eating it i like i like i like
28:36it i like food well
28:38research suggests almost half of us now pick where we dine out based on posts we've seen on instagram
28:44tick tock youtube oh this doesn't affect me nothing nor me um so this must be young people
28:49and a whopping 85 percent of hospitality venues say they've got more people coming through the doors
28:56thanks to so-called content creators well that's surely a good thing if it gets more footfall
29:02and more covers mary look covers then i think it's good for them imagine if someone in the restaurant
29:10you're at started setting up all of this equipment
29:16fucking ring light surely not my friends do that whenever we go out they get out the light and
29:20everything i'm like guys i just want to eat seriously yeah i'm going to go next level when i go
29:26to next
29:26restaurant i'm going to stand on the table and like taking pictures like this it's the dining debate
29:32dividing catering bosses in the red corner famously fiery celeb chef gordon ramsay they're very
29:39powerful and they don't take six weeks to fill a restaurant gordon did an influencer evening i think
29:45in his new restaurant in the sky but that's what it should be get the influencers out the way early
29:51doors so then they're not ruining our experiences but not everyone agrees legendary restaurateur and
29:57co-founder of the ivy jeremy king oh look at him oh isn't he splendid now oh you've been to
30:05the
30:05i have it was lovely i've even had one influencer couple turn up and get outraged that um they
30:13couldn't just set up a tripod and start taking shots yeah but it's not a studio it's a restaurant
30:18isn't it and in the ivy as well and when i went in it was lovely oh all right jenny
30:23you said all
30:23right that's why she said you've been to the ivy it won't rammed full and it was lovely all right
30:28we know you've been to the ivy the ambience oh all right and the ivy
30:38in leeds i went to margaret's last night and when i got there she said she's been death cleaning
30:45she's been prepping for death for a long time as margaret this isn't margaret's first death clean
30:51sisters ellie and izzy a food mixer she's binned that she gave me a full bottle of unopened baileys
30:59that she got for her birthday and i got this bowl and a glass plate i don't know why it's
31:07wrapped
31:07in a hood why is it wrapped in a hood i've no idea it's wrapped in a hood and then
31:13she's text me as
31:14well another glass plate and a quiche dish she says ask me if i want them but she did have
31:22a
31:22glass cake stand that she wouldn't part with oh and barry were having to go i want the glass cake
31:27stand he was saying let her have it let her have it you never use it she was going no
31:30too many memories
31:31too many memories on tuesday night our favorite mountain base game show continued on itv heavy
31:39summit final oh here we are shirl after a long wait i know there's only four the finals of the
31:46summit
31:47i can't wait who will reach the summit
31:54what do you think is the point of a program like this don't think about it too hard natty okay
32:02oh my god look how big that caress is oh shit no no i wouldn't fancy that oh look at
32:11that how would
32:11you get across there this deep ice crevasse stands between you and the summit and that's the way they're
32:19going across oh my god what with that old ladder no thank you no next up is true come on
32:27drew oh is this
32:28a chap who's got a missing limb the amputee yeah i've had really good balance throughout my life
32:33because i've had to adapt and overcome i don't know if you've said i've had really good possible
32:45yo yes didn't make any fuss about he just went for it didn't he oh yes he did it very
32:51quickly well done
32:51well done yes with drew having made it look easy the pressure is on for dockers who is last to
32:57cross i
32:58wouldn't have a problem with dockers you're not a fan then no no were dockers the knobhead
33:03dockers was the knobhead how's the knobhead got so far he's come in and out of being a knobhead
33:08he's been on a bit of a journey it's an easy little ladder you only got to put one foot
33:12in front of
33:13the other i'll kill him he's full of bs this guy come on doc yes whoa
33:21whoa oh look he's he's like oh but unfortunately for dockers the mountains keeper has arrived oh oh
33:30oh here we go oh here we go the keeper's coming oh here comes the old helicopter's coming the mountains
33:35keeper
33:35you'll shed a brick now and you're flying right by him
33:43oh that's that's an awful young man isn't it yes i ain't got a balance
33:48uh oh there we go he's gone he's gone he's gone yes
34:03dockers
34:06help help
34:10what's happening nobody's running out to have a look
34:14they're really not that bothered are they
34:16fucking hell oh he's dangling he's really mugged himself off doing that hasn't he shut up
34:23that's brutal oh he's coming back up you're taking that off to him
34:27yeah you won't give up well you still got to get across main club
34:30oh he's running for it he's running he's not hanging about
34:37he's gonna do it now he's gonna do it
34:44well done mate well done mate i don't know anybody i know who would like to do that
34:51do you know anybody who'd like to do that
34:54my brother apart from your brother yes well he'd been up everest hasn't he
35:07in blackpool oh colin right he goes for his haircut around the corner from our house don't he
35:11apparently what's happened is she's got like this low-level treat tray anyway oh colin's had one of
35:18the treats only it's three for a fiver like well we've not authorized the street pete and his little
35:25sister sophie but page is non-confrontational you see so she went all right well we'll pick
35:31another two then i'll have a tally's worth so she's then that's how we've ended up with the cows
35:37here in my bed oh well it wouldn't be that but it's 42 quid to get his hair cut anyway
35:4142 quid
35:43i'm sure it is that's with a hot foam shampoo and a turtle waxes out
35:49this week we were down with the kids again for the big return of borders on the bbc
35:54i went to board when i was six years old that's how much your mother dislikes you exactly i mean
36:00it was cruel have you considered a boring school for jimmy and eva um while they do do my head
36:06in
36:06it would be nice to get rid of them sometimes it would not be financially viable for me to do
36:11that
36:16it's a bit creepy in there oops this what's happening here someone's breaking in
36:23the hen house is that a pig is empty what the hen house is empty
36:31oh my god it's a gang gang of pigs
36:39yeah what are they doing this is sacrilegious
36:47oh they're all right they're all right aren't they what's them pigs what the hell
36:55muslims what's not
37:03what are we at dancing i mean the best that ever happened at my school was a very very rich
37:11kid
37:12managed to get a helicopter pay for it and they put the headmaster's car on top of the chapel
37:19fucking hell that's quite great that's quite good the headmaster came out in the morning
37:23where's my car and it was on top of the chapel
37:31that's saint jisbert's
37:34what the actual
37:36what yeah what happened breaking breaking they're on the ball aren't they everyone's saying it was an
37:44inside job inside job well they had keys to open it didn't they oh look at this
37:53i wonder if they've pinched the pigs from the farm what farm just any farm i feel sorry for the
38:00pigs is
38:00this real no abs a bit later with saint gilbert's on lockdown we saw toby hatching a plan to break
38:08out
38:08and see his girlfriend
38:13what are you the boogeyman oh what now how are we breaking out oh she was in corey i know
38:19you
38:19figured out a way to sneak out after hours to visit abby she was married to tyrone okay well you
38:25heard
38:25carol we're in lockdown hmm gotta stick to the rules hey we give me that back what is that oh
38:34what's in
38:35the parcel what's the bolt cutters for we got bolt cutters for is he really looking to sneak out for
38:41real or in the fence i feel like watching like a kid's great escape so desperate to break out for
38:46anyway we want revenge on carlwell college it was demo treasure school gosh she's a right sherlock isn't
38:52she she thinks that it's called world college i think she wants to go out and book their site up
38:58yeah the side
39:06the board cutters are out it's 10 o'clock it's time to go
39:14i love that he's got two flashlights two flashlights we're pretending to be lightsabers yeah
39:22oh toby you could do a mud tip didn't it
39:28what are you gonna do tobes he's going he wants a shark simon
39:34studying hard that's what i like to see you studying hard he's doing science because i remember
39:39that book now i know you would have missed that shot this is like romeo and juliet throwing little
39:46stones at the window what's the way they let me in
39:54what happened to hi hello like they ain't got much time bro they're sneaking around
40:02hey dad he's in the next room and the walls are like paper listen right what do you want to
40:07go in the
40:07garage then
40:13oh you'd at least get on the floor yeah hold on to the bed board so it doesn't squeak come
40:20on kids
40:25oh my dad hide hide under bed here you go
40:34what has to be found there though he's gone he can come out
40:48oh no it was there did you trash my school did you trash my school for no shit sherlock
40:56about sleeping with the enemy yeah yeah
41:00he's they're all bloody sex mad at 16. when i was 16 me and becky fish used to she had
41:08one of
41:08those beds that was for like old people that would like move up and down so we just used to
41:14play on
41:14that listening to black-eyed peas on her ipad none of this shit
41:20in home do you want a glass of wine jenny oh go on then yes i will thank you best
41:24friends jenny and lee
41:26do you know something i was talking to steve the other day on the phone yeah
41:30he was saying he went what you're drinking and i went it's a glass of wine
41:37anyway do you know and i went steven it's saturday night i'm having one glass of wine
41:41seven o'clock you know what i mean yeah and you know what he said to me he said
41:47do you know alcohol is your enemy lee really yeah he did do you know what i said to him
41:54no jesus said
41:55love your enemy cheers case closed am i a wine tasting where's the wine this week we were off
42:07stateside on prime video hoping to get a revealing look into the life of the first lady you're excited
42:14for this aren't you of course i am because i was one of the four people in england who wanted
42:18to go
42:18and see it in the cinema when i only think three went so you would have been the fourth yes
42:21i would
42:22have been and i very nearly did oh look at the red blubouton oh
42:36look she's taking her glasses off oh it's she beautifully i always wanted to take my sunglasses
42:40off stuff like that oh no she's on the pj happy new year thank you nice to see you
42:53we don't get this door-to-door service how come she hasn't had to be frisked we always get frisked
42:58at the
43:01airport oh my god is that him what the fuck you can't buy a taste can you everyone wants to
43:09know
43:10so here it is 20 days in my life does everybody want to know i've never actually heard her voice
43:17before yes you must have done family business philanthropy and becoming first lady of the united
43:24states again oh all right love all right you know drop the mic yeah melanie ain't here
43:35we don't care for her do we we don't care she's just there i've been shamed on michelle obama let's
43:42be
43:42honest no if it was her yeah yeah i'd be watching it we still are that's true the film took
43:49us behind
43:49the scenes in the lead up to a big day for melania's husband the inauguration is made up of four
43:55days of
43:55celebrations four days they drag it out of the side lincolnic starting with the candlelight dinner the
44:02night before the swearing-in ceremony she had a what a kind of ribana
44:09a candlelit dinner it'll be trump mandelson epstein those kind of andrew those sort of people chef chris's
44:17menu begins with a golden egg and caviar as one does and this is the first course i know what
44:28you're
44:28thinking is it chavvy no it's not no and do you know why it's not chavvy because they've got money
44:34yes later after the swearing-in ceremony the glad rags were on and it was time to party all of
44:42the
44:42official ceremonies are over it is time for the inaugural balls the inaugural balls
44:51oh grandma bastard he said it yeah she did i thought you said niagara falls the commander-in-chief ball
44:58for
44:58the military the liberty ball and the starlight ball which will be our last stop it was a full
45:17halfway go fuck off do the rest yourself i've done my bit now and it wasn't long before melania and
45:23donald were back at the white house and ready for bed today was so rich with meaning and since each
45:29moment was historic and filled with purpose time no longer mattered what the bollocks are you talking
45:36about i don't know and quite honestly if it's two o'clock in the morning you you would have taken
45:40your
45:41shoes off by now if you see if you're first lady you can't have a downdy when you're just in
45:46your
45:46jammies watching law and order svu all day without your teeth in and your brav i know knowing that
45:53i was leaving a day which would be remembered forever not for the right reasons though no
45:58nah i'll be honest with you i forgot about it i'll see you guys tomorrow good night sweet dreams mr
46:05president yeah it's milania not going with you oh is he going to his own room now obviously they don't
46:11sleep in the same room night night donald i actually feel like i know the exact same
46:16amount about melania trump that i did when i started watching this which is nothing yeah
46:23donald trump's why that's right
46:29get through being handcuffed to a total stranger 24 7 and there's a hundred grand to be won it's
46:35streaming now with jonathan ross and 100 grand's also the prize in the adrenaline soaked test of
46:41skill strategy and survival the hunt prey versus predator it's on sunday night from nine next tonight
46:48this week is on its last legs
46:52you
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