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00:01Recently, architects have pointed out design flaws in the president's ballroom, like staircases
00:07that seem to lead nowhere.
00:09President Trump defended these design elements with new artist renderings.
00:15But that wasn't the only image of the proposed ballroom that the president presented.
00:21Hey, ballroom.
00:23You see what that is, right?
00:25It'll have a beautiful hamburger pit.
00:27It's the best in the world.
00:29I'll show you the kitchen, which will feature this Epstein pattern.
00:35I think it'll be the finest ballroom in the sky anywhere in the world.
00:38Because it will be the only one with the toilet.
00:43It's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
00:47Tonight, thrown out, plus Stephen welcomes
00:54John Mulaney and musical guest David Berg.
01:00Featuring Louis Cato and the great big joy machine.
01:05And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert!
01:19How are you?
01:20There you go.
01:32Welcome.
01:36Welcome, friends.
01:37Welcome, one and all, to The Late Show.
01:40I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
01:41Ladies and gentlemen, we are back after a week off.
01:48I took a little vacation, got out on the boat, and I gotta say, the fishing was unbelievable
01:53in the Strait of Hormuz.
01:57Not another boat in sight.
02:00And I caught a giant piece of ticking metal.
02:05It just...
02:06Gotta figure out how to fillet that sucker.
02:08But, the number one story is that Saturday was the third No Kings protest, and it was huge!
02:15It was amazing.
02:18They're all over the place.
02:20They're all over.
02:21They were enormous.
02:22Just look at the crowd we got here in New York.
02:25Oh, that's the TSA line at JFK.
02:28It's surprising that the lines were so long, considering all the help they got from ice.
02:33I mean, you know the old saying.
02:39You know the old saying, if you've got time to lean, you're an ice agent.
02:45New York's actual No Kings march was huge.
02:49As were the marches in Chicago, in San Diego, Atlanta, Philly, and in Boston, Massachusetts.
03:03Look at Boston.
03:04Now that last footage there from Boston was either from No Kings or the annual Wahlberg Family Palm Sunday Punch
03:11and Munch.
03:13You get a burger and a punch in the face.
03:16Now, I don't know why I said that.
03:18Also, all told, Saturday was the largest single-day protest ever held in the United States since the first Earth
03:26Day back in 1970.
03:35That was when millions of Americans showed up in force to protest the Earth.
03:42I was just a little shaver there.
03:44I still remember my dad and me throwing D-cell batteries at a dolphin.
03:49Just trying to get one to stick into its blowhole.
03:53It wasn't only in America.
03:55Trump is so unpopular, there were even No Kings rallies across Europe, including this large No Kings march in London.
04:06A No Kings march in London must have been awkward.
04:15That's make Charles feel like, what do we want?
04:17No Kings!
04:20Metaphorically, in reality, our guy's okay, though I would like to stick a battery in Prince Andrew's blowhole.
04:28Whatever it is, whatever, where would it be?
04:32Oh.
04:35One of the biggest U.S. showings was in the Twin Cities.
04:38After being terrorized by Trump's immigration goons for months, over 200,000 people stood up to the administration in St.
04:51Paul, Minneapolis.
04:53And the crowd heard from Joan Baez, Maggie Rogers, Bruce Springsteen, and Senator Bernie Sanders, who I hope performed a
05:05Springsteen song.
05:07Everybody's got a hungry heart.
05:11Hungry for soup!
05:15Protests.
05:15He doesn't know.
05:17He doesn't know why soup.
05:18He was on the show.
05:20Why soup?
05:24There were protest signs, and they were just great.
05:26They came from Minnesota, and we said, oh, no, you don't.
05:30Does this ass make my country look small?
05:34No faux-king way.
05:38The turd-rike.
05:41And Jimmy Kimmel has higher ratings than you.
05:45I like that one.
05:48I really like that one.
05:50Can we see who was carrying that sign?
05:52I knew it.
05:59People also wore some fun costumes, like there were rally frogs and this anti-Trump Chewbacca.
06:06Of course, Chewie was just channeling the revolutionary words of Patrick Henry,
06:10give me liberty, or give me .
06:16But perhaps, is that how you spell it?
06:19I don't know.
06:23Perhaps the most impressive of it all was this inflatable Trump pooping directly onto the Constitution.
06:42That is spectacular craftsmanship above all else.
06:45Whoever made that should be proud, because one day their grandchild will ask them how they resisted the rise of
06:50American fascism.
06:51And they can proudly say, well, Tyler, your grandma and I work around the clock with a team of fellow
06:58patriots to answer the eternal question of democracy.
07:01Can we make an angry balloon that looks like it's pooping fire?
07:07Yes, you can.
07:09One reason so many people show up, yes, we can.
07:13Yes, we can.
07:15Yes, we can.
07:16Yes, we can.
07:18Yes, we can.
07:19Yes, we can.
07:21Yes, we can.
07:22Yes, we can.
07:24Yes, we can.
07:24I think that's what Obama meant, right?
07:28One reason so many people showed up to No Kings this weekend is that we are still at war with
07:34the Russians.
07:34We are still in Iran, I think.
07:35Because Trump is sending mixed messages by pursuing both a rapid exit while at the same time mulling a dramatic
07:42escalation that would raise the stakes enormously.
07:45Trying to follow the strategy of this president in this war is like getting relationship updates from your most chaotic
07:51friend.
07:52Travis and I are either breaking up or getting engaged this weekend.
07:59But one thing is for sure.
08:01We're getting a dog.
08:04Trump is threatening.
08:06Woo!
08:08Trump is threatening to put boots on the ground while also claiming productive negotiations with the regime are going on.
08:14And then last week, he also said this.
08:16We've won this.
08:17This war has been won.
08:18The war is won.
08:19That is fantastic news.
08:20Can we see some footage of the victory parade?
08:23No, that's no kings again.
08:25Can we please see the victory parade?
08:28No, that's the TSA line in Houston.
08:31All of Trump's vacillating between declaring victory and threatening Iran and saying he's negotiating led the New York Times to
08:38say,
08:38the war has an erratic and make-it-up-as-it-goes feel.
08:42Yes, this is officially America's first improv war.
08:46All right, folks, can I get the suggestion of a reason I invaded and an exit strategy?
08:53I heard pineapple and chia pet.
08:55Now we take you to this proctecologist's office.
09:00Now, Trump took a minute to describe seeing our military in action.
09:04But what happened is, you have to see it, it's very cool.
09:09Missiles launched, missiles launched, missiles launching.
09:12They're launching.
09:13Okay, we're ready.
09:15And then at seven seconds, fire, fire, fire.
09:20The most unbelievable thing.
09:22Fire, boom, fire, boom.
09:26Stirring.
09:29Stirring wartime leadership.
09:31It reminds me of Winston Churchill.
09:34We shall fight them on the beaches.
09:36Like pew, pew, pew, ka-chow, blammo.
09:40So cool.
09:41Now, there's a reason.
09:44Still holds up.
09:45Holds up.
09:47Holds up.
09:48That's a big guitar.
09:50Really big.
09:52There's a reason Trump thinks of the war as a bunch of zooms and booms,
09:56because reportedly he's getting his daily briefing on the war in the form of a highlight reel of, quote,
10:02stuff blowing up.
10:04It's prepped for him by the Pentagon and is a video compilation of the biggest, most successful strikes on Iranian
10:10targets over the previous 48 hours.
10:12It's a greatest hits of the Pentagon's greatest hits, and it's all compiled in the CD.
10:17Now, that's what I call a military operation, because legally only Congress can declare war.
10:23Trump gave these remarks at a gathering of what I am choosing to believe, based on the logo, is the
10:28F.U. Institute.
10:32So we have no sense if the war is ending anytime soon, which is not great, because economists are predicting
10:39that the fallout could last for years.
10:41For example, because polyester is made from petrochemicals found in the Gulf, tracksuits could get more expensive.
10:48That is war on New Jersey. What?
10:52Tell me. Tell me, friends.
10:55If not, now when?
10:58If not, him who?
11:00What is the mafia gonna do now?
11:02Nobody wants to get dumped in the Meadowlands by guys wearing caftans.
11:08The effects of the war are everywhere.
11:11Because of the cost of cooking gas, butter chicken has disappeared from some Indian menus.
11:16Cancer drugs might not reach some patients on time, and Shakira and others have postponed shows.
11:23Doesn't it feel like they're trying to sneak in a real bad one in the middle so no one notices
11:28on that list?
11:30Honey, do you want to order Mexican food, Italian, I have herpes, or Chinese?
11:41Italian it is.
11:42Right now, as a result of the war, the average price of gas in the United States is up to
11:47$3.99 per gallon.
11:52Airfares are getting more expensive, and the strikes have triggered a global helium crisis.
11:57Oh, no!
11:59Or should I say...
12:11Oh, no!
12:14We can't afford a helium!
12:17We've got a great show for you tonight!
12:19My guests and John Mulaney and David Byrne,
12:23when we come back, an update on your generosity.
12:28Stick around.
12:53I've got a great show for you tonight.
12:53Give it up for Lewis Kato and the great Big Joy Machine.
13:00FOLKS, AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, THE LATE SHOW TOOK LAST WEEK OFF.
13:04AND IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, THANKS.
13:08WHAT IF SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAD HAPPENED AND I WAS LYING IN THE
13:11STORM DRAIN BEHIND A WENDY'S ON THE EDGE OF TOWN, LIVING UNDISCARDED
13:15KETCHUP PACKETS?
13:18POINT IS, WE TOOK A BREAK.
13:21BUT BEFORE THE BREAK, WE ANNOUNCED THAT WE ARE NOW SELLING
13:23SPECIAL T-SHIRTS THAT HELP RAISE MONEY FOR WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN,
13:27A GREAT ORGANIZATION.
13:31IT'S WONDERFUL, GREAT PEOPLE.
13:33IT'S A GREAT ORGANIZATION THAT FEEDS PEOPLE DURING TIMES OF CRISIS,
13:37WHICH, IF YOU'VE NOTICED THESE DAYS, IT'S PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE
13:39ALL THE TIME.
13:40THE SHIRTS COMMEMORATE THE END OF THE LATE SHOW, WHICH WILL BE
13:43MAY 21ST, AND THE SHIRTS READ ON THE FRONT, THE LAST SHOW WITH
13:47STEPHEN COLBERT, AND ON THE BACK, IT SAYS, THANKS FOR WATCHING.
13:52UNLESS YOU WATCHED ON YOUTUBE, THE NETWORK COULDN'T MONETIZE THAT.
14:02IT'S KIND OF A JOKE, MOSTLY A FACTUAL STATEMENT.
14:10NOW, I'M PROUD TO SAY THAT IN JUST THE WEEK AND A HALF SINCE WE
14:13UNVEILED THEM, WE HAVE SOLD, DRUM ROLL PLEASE, A LOT OF THEM.
14:20YEAH, A LOT.
14:23A WHOLE LOT.
14:25AND IF YOU WANT ONE OF THOSE GREAT SHIRTS BENEFITING OF A GREAT
14:27CAUSE, JUST HEAD TO COLBERTLATESHOW.COM
14:29SLASH E-BAY, WHERE WE'RE ALSO AUCTIONING OFF LATE SHOW MEMORABILIA.
14:34LIKE TONIGHT, WE'RE ADDING A PROP THAT HAS BEEN USED MULTIPLE TIMES
14:37ON THE LATE SHOW, IT'S A CURSED MONKEY'S PAU.
14:41PERFECT IF YOU'RE A PROP COLLECTOR OR A ONE-ARMED MONKEY WHO IS NOT
14:45SUPERSTITIOUS.
14:47WE'RE ALSO ADDING TWO ITEMS FROM THE VERY FIRST EPISODE OF THE LATE
14:50SHOW, THIS CURSED AMULET ON A DECORATIVE GOAT SKULL, WHICH IS NOT
14:55CURSED UNLESS YOU WERE THAT GOAT.
14:59GO GET THEM ALL.
15:00SPEAKING OF MONKEY'S MONEY, IT'S ONE LETTER AWAY.
15:05THE AMERICAN DOLLAR IS ABOUT TO BE RUINED BECAUSE LAST WEEK, THE
15:11TREASURY ANNOUNCED THAT STARTING IN JUNE, TRUMP'S SIGNATURE WILL
15:14START APPEARING ON THE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL.
15:16YEAH, OKAY, YEAH, YOU MAY BE UPSET, BUT THIS FULFILLS A LIFELONG
15:21DREAM FOR DON JUNIOR, BECAUSE HE CAN NOW SNORT COKE THROUGH HIS DAD.
15:26THIS IS... SURE, WHY NOT?
15:32HE SEEMS HAPPY.
15:33THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
15:35UNTIL NOW, U.S. PAPER CURRENCY HAS CARRIED THE SIGNATURES OF THE
15:38TREASURY SECRETARY AND THE TREASURER, NOT THE PRESIDENT,
15:42MAKING TRUMP THE FIRST SITTING PRESIDENT TO HAVE HIS SIGNATURE ON
15:45THE MONEY.
15:46YES, NOW TRUMP'S SIGNATURE WILL JOIN THE RANKS AND THE FAMOUS
15:49NAMES ON THE MONEY, LIKE WHAT'S HIS NAME AND THE OTHER GUY AND
15:53JANET YELLEN.
15:55TRUMP'S BIG, DUMB NAME ON THE MONEY MEANS THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN
15:59OVER A HUNDRED YEARS, THE NAME OF THE U.S. TREASURER WILL NOT
16:02APPEAR ON THE CURRENCY, WHICH IS A HUGE SLAP IN THE FACE TO THE
16:05CURRENT TREASURER, SAY IT WITH ME, BRANDON BEACH.
16:10SORRY, BUT, UH, LET'S GO, BRANDON.
16:15IT'S NOT JUST...
16:24IT'S NOT JUST STUPID BILLS, IT'S ALSO THE STUPID COINS.
16:27THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT ALSO ANNOUNCED A DESIGN FOR A NEW 24-KARAT
16:30GOLD COIN, FEATURING, YOU GET ONE GUESS, DONALD TRUMP.
16:35SEEN HERE...
16:39SEEN HERE DOING HIS IMPRESSION OF A HANGRY GORILLA.
16:43BUT THERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE COIN, BECAUSE IT MAY NEVER
16:46HAPPEN.
16:47A RETIRED PORTLAND LAWYER HAS SUED THE GOVERNMENT TO STOP THE COIN'S
16:52DISTRIBUTION, BECAUSE UNDER FEDERAL LAW, ONLY A PORTRAIT OF A
16:55DECEASED INDIVIDUAL MAY APPEAR ON UNITED STATES CURRENCY AND
16:58SECURITIES.
16:59IT'S TRUE, ABRAHAM LINCOLN WANTED TO BE ON THAT PENNY SO BADLY HE HIRED A
17:02GUY TO SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD.
17:05YEAH, NO, IT'S TRUE.
17:07IT'S TRUE.
17:09OH, I'M THE BAD GUY?
17:10YOU JUST LAUGHED.
17:14THEY JUST COULDN'T WAIT.
17:15REALLY FAILED THE OLD MARSHMALLOW TEST.
17:18BUT THE GOVERNMENT LAWYERS MIGHT HAVE A PRETTY GOOD CASE AGAINST
17:21THIS CHALLENGE, BECAUSE ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS SHOW THE JURY A
17:24PHOTO OF TRUMP'S HAND.
17:25I MEAN, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IT'S ATTACHED TO A LIVING PERSON?
17:29WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOHN MALAYS.
17:32WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOHN MALAYS.
17:48HEY!
17:50WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
17:55LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A PEABODY AND
17:59FOUR-TIME EMMY-AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN.
18:02YOU KNOW FROM HIS STAND-UP SPECIALS, THE BEAR, AND EVERYBODY'S LIVE
18:05WITH JOHN MALAYS.
18:06PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, JOHN MALAYS.
18:37WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, JOHN MALAYS.
18:39Yeah, it's getting long. Yeah. Yeah.
18:41You know what it's from is neglect.
18:43Yes. Yeah, just general.
18:45One of the best grooming agents of all.
18:47Yeah, truly neglect does wonders for you.
18:49How you been? I'm good.
18:51You know, every time I've come out here in the past,
18:53I've always been excited but very nervous.
18:56Why? I'm not nervous
18:57because it's the Stephen Colbert Late Show.
18:59But you're John Mulaney.
19:03But you know what? You've had me on so many wonderful times.
19:06You've had me on through various life crises.
19:08Yes. Some playing out on the air.
19:10And it means a lot. I decided today.
19:12I go, I think Stephen likes me.
19:14So I'm good, and I'm really appreciative to be here.
19:17Thanks, man. Thank you so much.
19:17No nerves at all.
19:19I think you're a doll. You're the best.
19:23Listen, you're an interesting cat.
19:25A few months ago, you were spotted somewhere unexpected.
19:29Okay. A Supreme Court hearing.
19:31Oh, yes. Yeah, Howard Mortman from C-SPAN.
19:35Everybody knows Howard's work.
19:36Shout-out Howard Mortman.
19:38He posted this.
19:39This is his little hand-drawn thing of where people were.
19:43And this is up here at Supreme Court Justice and everything.
19:46And down here in the corner, it says,
19:48here's where John Mulaney was.
19:52Yes.
19:52What on earth were you doing?
19:54That was where I was sitting.
19:55Klobuchar, Howard Lutnick, lots of people.
19:57And then right in the back, I went to see them argue
20:01Learning Resources Incorporated versus Trump,
20:03otherwise known as the tariffs case. Oh.
20:06My good friend that I think you know, Neil Katyal.
20:08Sure, sure, sure. Former Solicitor General.
20:10Yes, former acting Solicitor General,
20:12was arguing against the tariffs in front of the Supreme Court.
20:15He invited me to go watch.
20:17We're working on a Supreme Court project together,
20:19but I'm also a Supreme Court argument nerd.
20:22This is my first live argument.
20:24I sat in the back, and it was incredible.
20:27Wait a second. Yes.
20:28Okay, so let's go back one.
20:29Sure.
20:30You're a Supreme Court argument nerd?
20:32Yeah.
20:32Do you listen to them like they're podcasts?
20:34Yeah, so they're on YouTube.
20:36They're on SCOTUSblog or YouTube.
20:38You can listen to the whole four hours.
20:40But just audio, right?
20:40There's no video ever.
20:42No, no, they never allow cameras in there.
20:44But there are now, like, they have pictures,
20:46like the different person talking glows, you know,
20:48so you can follow it.
20:50And you have pretty advanced stuff.
20:52Oh, okay.
20:53But, like, kind of like Grateful Dead shows,
20:55like, I just put on different arguments,
20:57and it's the same people every time, same clothes,
21:01but always something different.
21:02Wow, do you have a favorite?
21:04Favorite argument?
21:04Favorite argument.
21:05Like, anything, like, oh, it's one of those days.
21:07I got to listen to Santa Clara
21:09versus Southern Pacific Railroad.
21:10Oh, that's a good one.
21:11You know that one?
21:12Oh, yeah, 1884.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Yeah.
21:15I have, uh, there was recently one
21:17where there was a real argument,
21:19like, a fight broke out.
21:20Between the person...
21:21One of the advocates accused the other side
21:23of flat-out lying, and Gorsuch was like,
21:25hey, hey, we don't say lying.
21:27And they really got into it.
21:28It got pretty hairy, and I'm sorry I don't have it,
21:30but we'll put it in the show notes.
21:31Yes.
21:33But my friend argued the case,
21:35and I was very excited.
21:36Neil Katyal argued and won, right?
21:39But he didn't know that day he'd won.
21:41But he argued it brilliantly,
21:43and it was really like watching a great stand-up.
21:45It's the same principle arguing in front of the court
21:47as doing stand-up comedy.
21:48You've got 15 seconds to get him, and that's it.
21:53You have to come out of the gate really hot.
21:55You have to say, uh, if it, uh, Mr. Chief Justice,
21:58and if it pleases the court,
21:59and then have, like, a killer sentence.
22:01And he said, tariffs are taxes.
22:02Full stop.
22:03Which, obviously, the president can't do
22:05without Congress's approval.
22:06Yeah. Nailed it.
22:07He walks out of state, right?
22:09And I punch that up with a...
22:11Punch...
22:12And that's what I open with every night now.
22:15But he argues this brilliantly.
22:17He walks out onto the steps of the Supreme Court
22:20on one first street, just like a movie,
22:22and all these cameras come up to him,
22:23and the first question was,
22:24do you know why John Mulaney was at the argument today?
22:29Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:31What are they like in person, by the way?
22:32Because I've interviewed a few of them,
22:34but you can guess the ones.
22:35They really...
22:36Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:39But you had a great Scalia story
22:41from the correspondents.
22:42Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:43But, okay, so Alito, okay, let's say one of the more intimidating ones, very tall, uses his height, right?
22:50He's tall? I don't think so.
22:51He's tall. He's down like this a lot, and he thinks of a hypothetical for the lawyer.
22:55He goes, let's say we had a, someone was working at a restaurant, or let's say a small store,
23:01so he gets annoyed with his own hypothetical.
23:03Yes.
23:04Then he wants a yes or no answer to a super complex thing for which there is no yes or
23:09no answer.
23:09So he goes, can they do it, yes or no? And he sits up, like, super tall.
23:13He's a big Philly Italian guy. He's a Phillies fan, which says a lot, right?
23:17Yeah, sure.
23:18That type of, you can't grow up with that type of misery.
23:20Yeah, he might just throw batteries at the guy.
23:25So he, height, uh, he uses his height. Thomas, I mean, he's my parents' age, cannot, he's awake, but it's
23:33a lot of blinking.
23:36It's a nice, easy chair and a heavy robe in a humid room.
23:40Yeah.
23:41Built in the 30s.
23:42No AC, and it is tough on, I mean, just blinking up the driest eyes in town.
23:47Wow.
23:47We have to take a quick break.
23:49All right.
23:49We'll be right back with more.
23:50Mr. John Mulaney, everybody.
23:52Stick around.
23:58Hey, everybody.
24:00You know who that is?
24:01That is John Mulaney.
24:04Of the Supreme Court.
24:05Supreme Court's John Mulaney.
24:07You're on tour right now.
24:08Yes, I am.
24:09And what I love is you're a family, man.
24:11Yeah, they come with me.
24:12And the family comes with.
24:14Yes, they do.
24:14Look, here you are with your lovely son.
24:16Oh, yeah.
24:17Malcolm, right there.
24:17That's at, uh, that's at Massey Hall in Toronto.
24:21My son likes to come.
24:22Famous.
24:23Yeah.
24:23Famous.
24:23Amazing.
24:24Neil Young, I had him wear, like, a Neil Young blazer for this, uh, for this soundcheck.
24:28He does, um, soundcheck at, uh, work, we call it.
24:31And I guess it is a job.
24:34And, and anything I need him to do, I can always say, hey, at work, we have to do this.
24:39You know, at home, you know, talk back as much as you want.
24:42But we're at work now, so you have to wear a blazer, and you have to eat your whole peach
24:45cup.
24:46And whatever I want him to do, and he's like, right, at work.
24:49I go, yeah, at work.
24:49It's a bummer, but we gotta do it.
24:51Yeah.
24:51Perfect.
24:52So he does soundcheck and stuff.
24:54And then he came to, uh, he came to Memphis with me recently, which was great.
24:58Because I was performing on the soundstage at Graceland.
25:02They have a beautiful stage there.
25:03So Malcolm, my son, is four, but he's a huge Elvis fan.
25:06And I said to him, do you want to get a tour of Elvis' house?
25:09Wow.
25:10And he was like, Elvis' house, awesome.
25:125 p.m., sun setting, they give us a private tour, me and Malcolm.
25:15We're walking through.
25:16She goes, we're going to show you some special spots, because you're performing here at Graceland.
25:20My son goes, I want to go on the roof.
25:24They go, well, we don't have people up on the roof.
25:27And he goes, you said special spots.
25:29And I was like, he's right.
25:31It's true.
25:31Take us to the roof.
25:32Yes.
25:32So we're walking through the jungle room.
25:34Oh, yeah.
25:35Have you been to Graceland?
25:36No, but I am aware of the jungle room.
25:37Oh, I'll take you sometime.
25:38It's great.
25:40I want to go on the roof.
25:41Yeah.
25:43This is the home in poverty that Elvis dreamed of building, and he builds it when he's the biggest
25:46star in the world.
25:47And it's like a pretty good house a dentist would have in 1959, right?
25:52It's like fine, right?
25:54So we're in the jungle room, famous room.
25:56They call it that because they have carpet on the walls, like the jungle.
25:59And we're looking around, and Malcolm goes, dad, can I meet Elvis now?
26:11It had never come up while listening to Hound Dog.
26:14Sure.
26:15You don't go, you know, son, this guy's dead, right?
26:18You want to know how he died?
26:19You want to know how he died?
26:21So I go, no, you can't.
26:23And he goes, please, I want to.
26:24I go, oh, no, it's not like a permission thing.
26:27Then I realized all his grandparents are alive, and he's never had a goldfish.
26:34And he doesn't know.
26:35Like, he doesn't know, and he's about to find out in the jungle room at Graceland that everybody dies.
26:42And so how did you convey this?
26:44I said, Elvis is in heaven now.
26:46And he said, why?
26:48And I said, well, sometimes when people are in their early 40s.
26:58And they have a job and schedule a lot like daddy, and some of the same issues as daddy.
27:08They go to the bathroom, and they go to heaven.
27:11Worst ways, I suppose.
27:13Dude, what better life?
27:16Our other guest tonight is the great David Byrne.
27:20The greatest.
27:21What I found out, I was very excited that both of you were going to be here, because I'm big
27:25fans of both of yours.
27:27And I've got to know both of you a little bit.
27:29I didn't know you guys were friends.
27:31Like, you guys have collaborated several times.
27:33A couple times.
27:34Yeah, the Sacklin's Bunch.
27:35Baby J?
27:37He did music for Baby J.
27:38I had the honor of hosting SNL when he was a musical guest.
27:40Yeah.
27:41I can't believe I know him.
27:42It's similar to you.
27:43I can't believe I get to talk to him.
27:45Don't tell him, because he's backstage right now, but I'm starstruck.
27:49Yeah.
27:50Nick Kroll once said, that's the most nervous you ever are, is when you're talking to David Byrne.
27:54I really, he's a wonderful, nice man.
27:56I just, I look up to him so much.
27:58I haven't done this before, but he's going to come out here in just a minute after the commercial break.
28:03You want to just stay and do the interview with him?
28:05Really?
28:06Yeah.
28:06Well, yes.
28:12And that is such a gift.
28:13I would like to give you something that I have for you before, before I move over.
28:18This is, I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but.
28:22Should I open it up?
28:23Yeah.
28:24From the hotel.
28:25No, don't say where I'm staying.
28:26Come on.
28:34Room 237.
28:35Room 237.
28:36Under the name Samson Rollamite.
28:38I know.
28:39People still guess it's me.
28:42It's a check.
28:43Hold on.
28:43That's to you.
28:44It's a check.
28:44From me.
28:45It's John Mulaney.
28:46It's to me for $750.
28:49Yeah.
28:49Stephen Colbert from a city national.
28:52Why?
28:52Why?
28:53So listen.
28:53I don't mean to make a big deal out of it, but like, you won't have a job soon.
28:56And, no, no, no, no, no, no.
29:00Come on.
29:01Don't embarrass me.
29:01Personal.
29:02Personal expenses.
29:03Personal expenses.
29:04Yes.
29:04Uh, this is so, look, obviously you've saved, but this is so, you know, you go, should I
29:10get the new suit for the job interview?
29:12Get it.
29:12You know what I mean?
29:13I don't want you to, I don't want you to take Abby out.
29:17Take it.
29:17I accept.
29:18You have to cash it.
29:18Oh, I will.
29:22Tickets to his Mr. Whatever Tour are available on johnmulaney.com.
29:27John Mulaney, everybody.
29:28We'll be right back with Dave Byrne.
29:42Welcome back, everybody.
29:45My next guest is a Grammy Tony and Academy Award winner.
29:51award-winning artist who is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
29:54Please welcome back to The Late Show, David Byrne.
30:13The band sounds great.
30:15Don't they sound good?
30:16They're playing a phala tune.
30:17Yes.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Wow.
30:20That's pretty good.
30:21Tons of change.
30:22Yes.
30:23Hey, good to see you again.
30:25And as I said, I just found out that you guys are friends.
30:28How did you guys get to, how did you meet?
30:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, hello.
30:32Yes, you did.
30:33Oh, hello.
30:34He did Oh, hello on Broadway.
30:36Oh, the show.
30:37For people who don't know, you did a show on Broadway called Oh, Hello.
30:39Oh, Hello with Nick Kroll.
30:40Yeah.
30:40And we'd have a guest on.
30:41You were one of our early guests, Stephen.
30:43Had a good time.
30:43And we had David on one weekend, and it was a very, that was when I tripped over his intro
30:48and Nick went, you've never been nervous like this before.
30:50Yes.
30:51How did you get the invitation?
30:52Like, did you know what it was?
30:53I knew the director.
30:54Yes, that's right.
30:56And he said, hey, will you do this?
30:57And of course, I did the show and I go, I don't think I recognize these guys.
31:03We were in a lot of, like, arsenic and old lace makeup.
31:08Yes.
31:09Here we go.
31:10This is Who is the Sky?
31:12Last year, either side works.
31:14And you've been on tour with an ensemble.
31:17Here we go with your ensemble right there.
31:20There they are.
31:20You're always reimagining what a concert can be.
31:22How did you decide?
31:24Whoa.
31:26The picture gets an applause.
31:28Yeah, yeah.
31:28I think your imagination got the applause.
31:30How did you decide what you wanted this tour to feel like?
31:35I knew I wanted it to be colorful.
31:36The last one was gray.
31:39It was not a sad show, but it was great.
31:42And I thought, no, times we live in, we need some color.
31:45Sure.
31:49And here we are.
31:50Here you are.
31:52In the show, you perform some talking head songs,
31:54like Psycho Killer and Life During Wartime.
31:56Do those songs, I mean, do those songs feel different
31:59in the context of today than when you first performed them?
32:03Oh, my goodness.
32:05Well, the second one, Life During Wartime, yes.
32:08We have, I licensed some ice footage
32:11to show at the very end, very, very end of the song.
32:15If we showed it for the whole song, it would be kind of depressing.
32:18But we show it at the very end,
32:20and we start off with some footage that I saw
32:22of this, looked like a delivery guy on a bike
32:26being chased by the ice guys,
32:29and he gets away.
32:34He is.
32:35In Chicago, yeah.
32:36Yeah.
32:36And it was in Chicago.
32:38We debuted that clip,
32:40because they kept coming, they kept coming,
32:42in Chicago.
32:43John was there.
32:44Like, biggest, biggest, coolest reaction
32:47I've ever seen to a live audience ever.
32:49Incredible.
32:50You've also created an immersive show
32:52at the Goodman Theater in Chicago
32:54called Theater of the Mind.
32:56What's that about?
32:58It's about how we form our identities
33:01through our memories and our perception,
33:03and it follows a guide, an actor,
33:07who takes you through a series of rooms
33:11that represent that actor's life,
33:14going backwards.
33:15So when you're on stage,
33:17you're actually going through...
33:18You're going through rooms,
33:19and yeah, it's in a warehouse kind of space.
33:21Yeah.
33:21And it works.
33:24Have you attended it?
33:26I attended it very recently.
33:29I saw two runs, as we call them,
33:32and the second one,
33:34a woman was sobbing by the last room.
33:37She told me she loved the show,
33:39but it touched something personal on her.
33:42And so I was simultaneously kind of pleased,
33:47but also thought,
33:48well, can I help?
33:50We should help her.
33:51Yeah.
33:52Has it generally been,
33:53the reaction been positive?
33:55I think so,
33:56but I don't read reviews.
33:58I do have a...
33:59One of the actresses has told me a story.
34:02These kind of immersive shows,
34:04the actor is very close,
34:07like you are to me.
34:11And in one room,
34:14a husband and wife were in the audience,
34:16and the husband winked at the actor,
34:20and the wife noticed.
34:25She was not real happy about that.
34:31So when they finish in that room,
34:33and getting ready to go to the next room,
34:34the actress opens the door and said,
34:37are you coming with me?
34:38And the woman goes,
34:40I'm not going with you, bitch.
34:48They say if you can touch one person,
34:50it's worth it.
34:52Oh, boy.
34:53Well, you're going to do a song for us tonight.
34:55Thank you for doing a song.
34:58What?
35:00What are you going to be doing?
35:01From the album,
35:02what are you going to be doing?
35:03I'm going to do a song called,
35:05When We Are Singing.
35:08Yeah, what is it?
35:10Well, the beginning of it,
35:11I thought about,
35:13I really don't like writing songs
35:15about my business.
35:18But I thought,
35:19you know,
35:20when people are singing,
35:23we don't know,
35:24they look kind of funny.
35:26You can't tell if they're in ecstasy.
35:28You know,
35:29they just have their mouth open.
35:30You don't know if they're in ecstasy,
35:32or if somebody stepped on their toe,
35:34or they saw something horrible.
35:37Sure.
35:38It's all the same look.
35:40We look forward to watching you do that.
35:44David,
35:45thank you.
35:46I want to thank my co-host,
35:48John Mulaney.
35:50Tickets for Who Is The Sky?
35:52tour are on sale now.
35:54We'll be right back with the performance
35:55by David Byrne, y'all.
36:15And now performing
36:16when we are singing
36:18from his album,
36:19Who Is The Sky?
36:19Ladies and gentlemen,
36:21David Byrne.
36:34When we are singing,
36:39I know the way we look,
36:45Swimming, drifting,
36:48floating on,
36:50and everything is true.
36:55Yeah.
37:12When we are singing,
37:17when we're falling away,
37:22What were you thinking of
37:28In that distant place?
37:34Look on someone's face
37:39When you turn the pages
37:44I heard you call my name
37:49We've got
37:50One thought in the party gates
37:56And one thought in the flames
38:02In the graves
38:03Like I heard you call my name
38:04Twins
38:04Oh, yeah
38:18guitar solo
38:26When we are singing
38:31Can you name that tune?
38:37The words go round in circles
38:42Everything is true
38:48Everything is true
38:53When you turn the pages
38:58I heard you call my name
39:03One thought in the burning gates
39:09One thought in the flames
39:13I heard you call my name
39:43One thought in the burning gates
39:43We are, we are, we are
39:52We are, we are
39:55Everything is true
40:02Everything is true
40:21Dave Byrne everybody
40:23Good night
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