00:01During John's involvement with extremism, he expressed some of his views and opinions
00:06to people other than me. Those views and opinions were of an extreme nature, yet the seriousness
00:14of the situation that he was in was still overlooked. And please don't think for one
00:20second that I am looking to blame anybody or absorb myself in any kind of way. Like
00:27myself or the people that John encountered during that time simply did not either have
00:33the resources or the knowledge required to not only recognise those signs or to know
00:39where they could reach out for support. Many of those people only expressed their concerns
00:45to me long after John left, expressing that although they were aware of the things that
00:51he was saying, many believed it was just a phase that he was going through or that he
00:56was just seeking negative attention. The first example I'm going to give, I only found
01:02out about recently. This happened when John was in his last year of secondary school and
01:08this incident has never brought to my attention. John and his friend during one lesson racially
01:15abused a female teacher. The origin of the abuse was that she did not belong in this country
01:22due to her parents' heritage. It is something that John is deeply ashamed of now and I was devastated
01:30for what my son put this lady through when I found out about this incident. A second incident
01:37happened during John's time in further education. Again, it was an incident that was never mentioned
01:44or flagged or flagged not to me or anyone else in the system. During a class debate John stood in
01:52front
01:52of a classroom and teacher and activated for Britain first and some of their more notable members. He invited
02:02classmates to attend demonstrations with him. Looking back after that John just got more and more brazen.
02:12He started at a new college and he took his views and ideologies with him. Within days I started to
02:21receive calls about his disruptive behaviour and his bad attitude. His obsession with flags and what he
02:29called patronism grew along with his negative and vile opinions. I tried to challenge him but he would
02:36always have an answer for everything and when he didn't a huge argument would erupt. It got to the
02:43point that I was scared to speak to him. He started speaking out in front of my friends and my
02:49family.
02:50Some saw him as a good lad turned bad, a problem that they wash their hands with and others like
02:56my friend
02:57who I hope to interview soon challenged John about his opinions. All the while whilst this was happening I
03:05felt deeply ashamed, confused and scared. I didn't feel like I could discuss this matter with anybody
03:13because I was so afraid of the judgement. I was scared that they would think that it was my fault
03:19or even
03:20worse that they thought John's opinion stemmed from me. I felt like I was a failure as a mother and
03:28I
03:28didn't want anyone to see it. As you know if you've listened to my story, eventually a teacher in college
03:36did recognise the signs of John's involvement. First she reached out to me and without judgement she asked me
03:43if I had any concerns. I knew it was now or never and I was desperate for help and that
03:50day I spoke up
03:52for the first time. Things moved quickly after that. John was referred to the channel programme where he
03:59received an IP officer and with his support John left. So many opportunities were missed on the way to help
04:07John. I personally simply didn't have the education or the knowledge that I needed at the time
04:13to realise what was going on right under my nose. Now things are different. With the training that
04:21I have received at Exit UK I hope to educate, help and support other parents in situations similar to mine.
04:30Exit UK is an amazing organisation that not only works tirelessly to educate people both in a professional
04:38capacity and members of communities about how to recognise the signs of extremism, to recognise the
04:47dangers of extremism and how to help those involved in extremism but they also mentor individuals
04:56involved out of that world and then you have members of the team like myself who support loved ones of
05:04parents of parents of those involved. Nobody should ever have to go through what John and I went through
05:10alone and they don't have to. If you or someone that you know needs support and advice please contact us
05:18on
05:190800-999-1945 or you can email us at www.exitfamilysupport.org
05:32that one call can make the difference that you need.
05:360800-999-1945 or you can email us at this time.
