- 3 hours ago
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 4 Episode 10
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00:16¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:31And this has just reconfirmed to me why I have kept my distance.
00:36Kayla, will you just talk to me and just, did I do something, like, genuinely?
00:41What happened?
00:41If so, I don't know.
00:43She was upset because Jen didn't say congrats on her getting Chicago.
00:46Therapy's expensive.
00:48I'm going to send Whitney my bill after this conversation.
00:52When did she tell you?
00:54Zach told me last week when we were filming.
00:56And you just haven't said anything?
00:57And I just haven't texted her.
00:58I've told her in person, but she's upset that I didn't tell her when I knew.
01:03If someone posts, I'm literally terrified to not comment on somebody's post.
01:06Because I feel like we have this expectation now.
01:08It's like, if I'm not, like, showing complete, and it's probably that.
01:11I mean, I don't want to hear it.
01:13Like, it's my fault.
01:14This Whitney and Jen drama definitely makes me feel like I'm back at the CMA drama from last year.
01:19I posted about my CMAs.
01:22Not a single one of my friends from MomTalk said a single thing about it or commented to hear nothing.
01:27Like, what the fuck?
01:28I think all the cool opportunities we're getting are great, but I also think it has potential to pull us
01:33away from why we're in MomTalk to begin with and make us lose sight of the genuine friendships.
01:38It's hard to balance it all, but if we don't have our friendships, what is this all for?
01:44I see where Whitney's upset, but to be honest, I don't feel like our friendship has been genuine.
01:49To be honest, I think it's very much been transactional and fake, and I feel like in order to protect
01:56my energy, I've been just being cordial this whole time because I don't have the time.
02:00None of us do.
02:02There's a lot of competition and jealousy between Whitney and Jen right now, and that's where this is all stemming
02:06from.
02:07But MomTalk does not need to be dealing with this right now.
02:09As we kind of grow in popularity, we're getting more and more offers.
02:13There's like Taylor with The Bachelorette coming up, and when we start getting more exposure and more opportunities, I do
02:19worry it may drive us apart.
02:20It's all transactional.
02:22She's saying, like, I don't care about her.
02:24I'm like, you don't care about any of us either.
02:26You only came back for Dancing with the Stars.
02:29I am feeling, like, so heated right now.
02:32I don't even know if people are backing me up or people backing Jen up, but if there is one
02:37thing that I have learned being a part of this group is that something is bound to happen.
02:43But the show must go on.
02:44Come here, come here, come here, come here save us.
02:56Aleluia!
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09:16¡Suscríbete al canal!
09:17Pero esto es solo el principio.
09:19Sé que no es así, pero vas a ir a hacer cosas más grandes.
09:23En esta jornada de Dancing with the Stars,
09:24Jen fue perdida todo el tiempo.
09:26Así que nuestra maravilla se fue negligenciada.
09:29En el mismo tiempo,
09:29fue una de las mejores experiencias,
09:31divertidas y divertidas.
09:32Y me siento muy triste para ella,
09:34pero también me siento muy agradecido
09:35que ella llegara tan bien.
09:36Me he aprendido a ser hermoso
09:38cada momento con ella.
09:39Y también me ha dado cuenta
09:40que tengo mucho más respeto
09:42por los padres de casa.
09:43Tienes que ir de Whitney
09:44y regresar con algunos de tus amigos
09:46puede ser bueno, también.
09:48Si no hay muchos amigos.
09:49Si Whitney está aquí,
09:51sí, debería salir de aquí.
09:53Pero, hey, ella va a estar en Chicago.
09:56Nueva York.
09:57¿Es Nueva York?
09:58La playa se llama Chicago.
10:02Estoy muerto.
10:07Soledad.
10:10Hola.
10:13Cori.
10:14¿You here?
10:15Wait, this is new?
10:16That's cute.
10:16Love her so much.
10:18Did you get that in New York?
10:20Slay.
10:20Love her.
10:21Slayla.
10:22With all of the Shania and Dakota
10:24and Taylor drama going on,
10:26I haven't really had a chance
10:27to check in with Leila
10:29and see how she's doing.
10:30I'm so excited to see
10:31how her meeting went
10:32con Ford Models porque sé que esto es una gran oportunidad para ella y es un sueño de ella.
10:36Ok, así que no me ha dado cuenta de un update sobre Ford.
10:40Oh, sí. ¿Cómo fue?
10:43They didn't find me.
10:45So, just calling to give you a little bit of an update.
10:48So, I've spoken with my team here in New York.
10:51Unfortunately, no everyone is really aligned or on the same page.
10:55So, we're going to have to pass it this time.
10:57Ok.
10:58So, I'm just, like, embarrassed.
10:59I feel like I'm, like, you're going to get yeses and you're going to get noes.
11:03And every supermodel literally will tell you that they have plenty of noes.
11:08I don't think you guys, like, getting rejected by a modeling agency,
11:10like, that means there's something wrong with me that they didn't choose me.
11:13So, I feel like I've been, like, the last couple days I've been, like, struggling so hard with, like, confidence.
11:18And I'm, like, I weigh too much or my face isn't symmetrical.
11:21And I'm, like, I'm literally the ugliest person ever.
11:23You're not at all.
11:24I know, but I think it just, like, stems back to, like, just, like, me never feeling like I'm, like,
11:28enough.
11:28Yeah.
11:29If that makes sense.
11:30And just, like, I don't know.
11:31Just, like, having someone, like, look at you and, like, look at your face and be, like, yeah, like, we
11:35don't want you.
11:35You know, like, it just kind of, like, it sucks.
11:38And I feel like everyone's always told me, like, you should pursue modeling.
11:40Like, you're built for it.
11:41You're built for it.
11:41And, like, maybe I'm not.
11:42I've struggled with body image issues and an eating disorder since I was in high school.
11:49I used to have anorexia.
11:51And then I got pregnant with my first son when I was 19.
11:54And naturally, I mean, there's a baby inside of me that I have to care for.
11:59So I feel like I kind of healed for a little bit.
12:01And then I got pregnant again.
12:02And I didn't spiral then.
12:05But after me and my ex separated, that's when I feel like I started to go back into those old
12:10ways and those old habits.
12:11And I feel like I've been battling it for the last four years now, silently.
12:17You know that that's not true because, first of all, you have a mirror that you can look in and
12:22you have eyes that work.
12:23But I also have a brain that tricks me and says I'm too bad.
12:27But you also have booked so many other modeling deals.
12:30I just feel like every girl is getting such awesome opportunities and I'm so proud of them.
12:34But I definitely, you know, you get a little hard on yourself and you hope that, you know, you can
12:38achieve things outside of MomTalk as well.
12:40And rejection hurts.
12:42You wouldn't even have the, you wouldn't have made it in the door at Ford if you weren't a beautiful,
12:47like accomplished person that had a lot of potential.
12:51I feel like I'm trying to look at positives in the situation that if I did get it, I would
12:55have to move to New York for three months.
12:57And that would definitely be hard with my babies and with Mason and figuring all of that out.
13:02But it's just a hard toss up because it's something that I want so badly.
13:05Not the only big agency.
13:07No.
13:07Like there are others.
13:08I don't think I mentally can handle another now.
13:10No.
13:11I think I just wanted it like so bad.
13:33I feel really bad the way that I handled Jen and I's argument.
13:36No matter what's happened, no one deserves to be yelled to like that.
13:39So I don't want things to be awkward with us.
13:42I've asked her to meet up with me and hopefully we can move past this.
13:52What the fuck?
13:53Why is Zach here?
13:54And where is Jen?
14:05Hello.
14:06Hi.
14:06How are you doing?
14:07Good.
14:09I'm going to be filling in today.
14:13Filling in for Jen?
14:15I decided to go talk to Whitney because Jen asks me to.
14:18I wanted to go kind of just defend Jen.
14:22I don't care if Whitney screams or yell at me.
14:24I'm not scared of Whitney.
14:26She didn't want to come.
14:28Why?
14:29I mean, the truth is she's hurting right now.
14:31She's sad.
14:32She's grieving.
14:32I think just like you would be.
14:34Yeah, of course.
14:35Yeah.
14:35I'm so sorry she got eliminated.
14:36It would suck.
14:37I don't know if you are.
14:39I hope you are.
14:40I think she's just, I think she needs time to process her journey.
14:44And to be honest, I think she's probably scared to come here and get yelled at by you.
14:49You do that a lot.
14:50Yeah.
14:50You know what else I did?
14:52I voice memoed her.
14:53An apology for yelling at her.
14:55Yeah.
14:55Whitney, it was a bullshit fake apology.
14:58I heard it myself.
15:00You know what?
15:01It wasn't a bullshit apology.
15:02I really did feel bad for yelling.
15:04And I said, I'm so sorry for saying that.
15:05And then you said, let's be friends again because I don't want this exposure to the media
15:07because I'm going to get voted off.
15:09No, I didn't.
15:09I'm a mean girl.
15:11That's the truth.
15:13Whitney.
15:14Whitney.
15:14I'm not even going to defend myself for that.
15:16She said she didn't want to be friends and I didn't know that.
15:18That hurt my feelings and I overreacted.
15:20I apologize.
15:21I love the transparency, but you don't, I will not stand.
15:24It's for you to go on live after you get eliminated to then say, I'm not voting for Whitney.
15:31What's the objective there?
15:32I'm in a competition.
15:34I think the objective is she thinks there's people who deserve it more than you.
15:39That's fine.
15:40You could have said who you were voting for, not who you're not voting for.
15:43You know what?
15:44Jen.
15:45That to me is cruel.
15:47And it's mean.
15:48Because what do I have to deal with now?
15:49This hate online.
15:51It's overwhelming.
15:52And then on top of it, all of the news media outlets saying, oh my gosh, Jen's not voting
15:56for you.
15:57Whitney's not Montauk because I have that narrative.
15:59That's manipulation.
16:00That's an objective.
16:01That's calculated.
16:02Why do you think the whole world, all of social media thinks that about you?
16:07Because people can see your true colors.
16:09If you had gotten eliminated, would you be voting for Jen?
16:12Absolutely.
16:13And that is complete bullshit.
16:14It's not.
16:15I don't even believe that one person.
16:16And you know what, Zach?
16:17You don't have to.
16:18Because even when I had a conversation with Jen, the way that she thinks is she thinks
16:22everybody's calculating, everyone's strategic, and the world's up to get her.
16:25No, she thinks you and me aren't.
16:26It's weird that you two happen to be best friends.
16:29First of all, I don't appreciate that.
16:31Because I know who I am.
16:33I am a great fucking person.
16:35And I put in so much effort in that relationship.
16:37The difference between me and Jen is I'm going to be straight up and honest, and Jen isn't.
16:41That actually is probably the biggest lie that's come out of your mouth.
16:45Jen is actually the least calculated person, therefore she gets herself in bad situations.
16:48Yeah, that's not true.
16:49This isn't easy for anyone, Zach.
16:51No.
16:51I never said it was.
16:52All of us are mentally unwell.
16:54I can tell.
16:56And I don't think she should have said that on live.
16:57But I think there's a part of Jen that wants the world to see your true colors because
17:01she's sick of it.
17:02She's sick of you being fake to her on camera for the show for your own gain.
17:07And then in real life, she knows you're not a genuine friend.
17:10This is the most delusional woman I've ever met.
17:14Whitney's friendship with Jen has been fake from the beginning.
17:18Anytime Whitney's been frustrated or things haven't gone her way, she screams or she runs
17:21away from mom talk.
17:22She's hurt you.
17:23I've never hurt Whitney.
17:24And then runs away.
17:26I'm going to start my own mom talk.
17:29I'm sorry.
17:30They're like, oh, Whitney's only back filming because she wants Dancing with the Stars.
17:35They're not wrong.
17:36I just think it was a very transactional friendship.
17:38She's not the main star.
17:40Whitney is not interested in it.
17:42When someone goes on a live and decides to create more shit for me to deal with, that's
17:48fucked up.
17:48And I'm sorry for that.
17:50You're not.
17:50I don't want to hear your apology.
17:52I want to hear Jen's.
17:53But guess what?
17:54She doesn't think she did anything wrong.
17:56No, I don't think she thinks she, I don't think she cares to give you an apology.
18:00Of course.
18:00She doesn't care.
18:01Thank you.
18:03Shout it to the rooftops.
18:04Of course she doesn't care.
18:06Okay.
18:07Do you have anything else you want to say?
18:10I don't want to talk about it anymore.
18:11That's fair.
18:12I'm sorry.
18:13I wish you guys the best.
18:14Thank you.
18:15I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you the perspective that I have.
18:19I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you that what your wife did was unwarranted.
18:24How she's treated me is unwarranted.
18:26You are not my friend.
18:27You are not in my circle and I do not trust you.
18:30Okay.
18:31Hey.
18:32Oh no.
18:34Whitney.
18:35Zach showed up instead of Jen.
18:37Oh my God.
18:39They're just, every time I talk to them, I just feel, I feel so manipulated.
18:46And then I hate fucking crying because then the world is like, oh, she's being the victim.
18:50I like, I can't ever fucking win.
18:53And then for you to sit there and be like, Jen has done nothing wrong.
18:56It's you.
18:57That's not a good friend.
18:58I'm like, what the fuck?
18:59And then he's saying like, basically that I deserve all the hate I'm getting.
19:03It's like, go fuck yourself.
19:05I'm going to rip that man's head off.
19:07My biggest fucking pet peeve with me is when men try and make women feel fucking small.
19:13Well, guess what?
19:14I feel that way and I hate so fucking much that like I let it get to me.
19:18I don't know where I'm at after this.
19:21But what I can control is not having Jen and Zach a part of my life, a part of my
19:26circle.
19:27And that's what I'm deciding.
19:29She wanted you to feel like shit.
19:30Mission accomplished, Zach.
19:32I hope you feel like a big strong fucking man right now.
19:34What a fucking loser.
19:49Hello.
19:51How are you?
19:51Good.
19:52How are you?
19:53Good to see you.
19:54I know you too.
19:55I'm excited for this.
19:56I feel like we all need this.
19:57You guys look so cozy and cute.
19:59I know.
19:59I'm so glad we all went like lounging here.
20:01Because I was like, am I going to look homeless?
20:03Never.
20:03You carrying your $6,000 product?
20:05I know.
20:05Homeless.
20:06MomTalk has a lot going on right now.
20:09And Taylor's leaving for the bachelorette in a few days.
20:11And then after that, I'm hosting my annual Halloween party.
20:14You should talk about the guest list though, because with Taylor gone, I'm like, okay,
20:18who are we inviting?
20:19We can actually have alcohol because Taylor's gone, which will be fun.
20:22Open bar.
20:23Okay.
20:23So I have MomTalk on the list, obviously.
20:25Who's left of it?
20:27Dakota.
20:27I think Shania has been invited because Jordan invited everyone at Red West.
20:30But I don't know if she would actually show up.
20:33We've been so busy lately, and I'm so excited to just go and have fun and relax.
20:37Today with Miranda and Layla at the spa.
20:39Okay.
20:39We can do anything for 30 seconds.
20:41No, I will be the burpee then.
20:43You were married to Chase.
20:44You can do it.
20:44No one.
20:45Matter of fact.
20:46That's more close.
20:48One.
20:48Two.
20:49Okay.
20:49Great.
20:52No, no, no.
20:55That was a frozen tundra.
20:57Straight out at like ice cap, frigid temperatures.
21:01Oh my god, I'm gonna be.
21:04This is the one I've ever experienced.
21:05I thought this spa was supposed to be relaxing.
21:07No, but we're not relaxed.
21:09Yeah.
21:11How are you feeling about all the modeling stuff?
21:13I don't know.
21:14I feel like I'm trying to keep my expectations low.
21:16I feel like I put a lot of my self-worth into my image.
21:20Having someone say that they didn't want to take me on, even though they didn't say anything
21:24physically was wrong with me, I feel like my brain automatically was like, oh, I'm not
21:27small enough or I'm not pretty enough.
21:29But I think more of it was just like, I feel like I weighed too much.
21:33I'm sure your sample size is not smaller.
21:35I don't look at myself that way though.
21:37I weighed myself like two days ago when I was 99.
21:43And you're like 5'10", 5'9".
21:48I mean, do you know that that's not super healthy?
21:52And when I say healthy, like it doesn't mean big.
21:55You know, like healthy is strong.
21:57Yeah.
22:02I just feel like I can't, I don't know.
22:05I just feel like I just don't, I don't think I'll ever be like small enough in my head
22:08and I know that it's affecting me and like, I'm so exhausted all the time because I don't
22:12eat.
22:13And my body hurts every night when I go to bed.
22:15What do you mean?
22:17Like, I would literally lay down, like, if my knees are touching each other, it hurts
22:21because I don't have any fat on my body, like, pushing it.
22:24Like, I know that it's going too far and I'm taking it too far, but I can't stop.
22:28Do you think, uh, are you open to stopping Trezantate?
22:33Nope.
22:34I have been using weight loss drugs, GLP-1s now for about a year, I would say.
22:42I initially got on them because I feel like I just had stubborn weight that I couldn't get
22:46off.
22:46But the thing is that people don't talk about how addicting this is and how hard it is
22:52to get off.
22:53And it's just this ever living thing that's so negative and especially negative here in
22:59Utah.
22:59People are obsessed with how they look.
23:01It's a very negative part of the Utah culture.
23:04I can't even count on both hands how many people I know abuse GLP-1s like myself and it's
23:10a real problem for sure.
23:12Yeah.
23:13When's the last time you did it?
23:14Last week.
23:16That's what scares me is I don't think you need to be actively losing.
23:19It's hard.
23:19I feel like everyone, like, obviously everyone's starting to notice what it looks like in my
23:23comments.
23:24Like, I can't post a single video right now.
23:26Like, every single person is saying something that, like, you need to eat or you're not going
23:30to be able to show up for your kids.
23:31Like, you're being a bad mom, blah, blah, blah.
23:33Like, I always say something I'm not trying to.
23:35Like, I...
23:35Yeah.
23:36It's not like...
23:37Well, I've noticed your comments have switched from, like, you're so thin, your arms are so
23:41long, to now, like, are you okay?
23:42And I think that's kind of the sentiment we're all thinking is that, like, just are you okay?
23:48I feel like for a long time there, people calling me ill or saying that I look sick or
23:53too thin, it was almost a dopamine rush for me because I feel like with an eating disorder,
23:58okay, someone's noticing all this work that I'm putting in to look this way and, like,
24:01it's paying off in a way, but now I can't even post a simple ad to make money, to support
24:07my family without there being a bunch of comments on it and it's actually starting to
24:11get a lot that I don't even want to post right now because I can't run away from it.
24:18And I don't know, like, how to stop, but...
24:21Obviously, like, you've always had to have such a strong friend growing up the way that
24:24you grew up.
24:25And I think when so much is out of control, it's easy for you to cling on to one thing
24:30you can't control.
24:31Yeah.
24:32And I want you to know that, like, you do love me.
24:34You have to have a hand.
24:37And we're here for you.
24:39And we love you.
24:41Okay?
24:42I'm glad I helped you.
24:44And you don't, like, we can help you be in control.
24:47Like, you don't have to do it by yourself.
24:48Stay.
24:49Like a threat that starts when I don't believe.
24:55And all the pieces never seem to fit.
25:00When you feel you can't breathe.
25:08When you're lost in the dark, I'll be here in your heart.
25:11Hi, buddy.
25:21This is Taylor's last night before she flies out for The Bachelorette.
25:24And I'm just dropping Ever off.
25:26This is kind of like the last, like, our last time, like, actually kind of seeing each other
25:32before she goes away.
25:34And, yeah, it kind of feels surreal.
25:37There's part of me, obviously, where I want to go over there because, like, I know she's leaving.
25:41Like, and I'm not going to talk to her, I think, for like two months.
25:45So, yeah, I'd be lying if I didn't think there was a piece of me that just kind of wanted
25:48to go,
25:50I don't know, like, see her, be with her, like, possibly the last time.
25:55Like, I don't know.
25:55I don't know.
26:14¡Gracias!
26:50Espan and I are at Taylor's house, getting ready to leave to California for the Bachelorette.
26:56And we're supposed to leave in two hours.
27:00Taylor.
27:04It's 8.40.
27:07She is not ready.
27:09She is still in bed and she is not feeling well.
27:13What do you think we should do?
27:16We're supposed to be leaving here like any minute.
27:19By 9.
27:20She's still sleeping.
27:21You're her mom.
27:22No, you can talk too because I'm always the one that's like the B.
27:25Did you talk to Taylor?
27:26Yeah.
27:27What'd she say?
27:27She says she just doesn't feel like she's just not feeling well.
27:31She says she can't get on the plane and that you guys can go and she'll just have to meet
27:36me there.
27:37She's just, she's like there's just no way I can get up right now and go.
27:42This is ridiculous.
27:44I'm very frustrated right now with Taylor.
27:48She has this huge opportunity and I feel like a part of me is like she's not going to go.
27:53I know that you have anxiety.
27:55I know that there's a lot going on.
27:56That's not why.
27:57I know you're sick.
27:58I know.
27:59You just feel like it's a natural.
28:01The same.
28:02This is a commitment that you made.
28:05I don't want her to blow this opportunity to possibly find love and also to get on with her life.
28:12Aspen and I are going to get on this plane and I'm hoping that Taylor will meet us there in
28:17California.
28:18I expect you to be there tonight.
28:25Okay, you two are sitting in the very back right here.
28:28Yeah.
28:29Oh my gosh.
28:30Do we have everything?
28:33We're going to miss our flight.
28:38On our way for the first week of Bachelorette.
28:41Who's not even coming with us?
28:43Who's a no-show?
28:44Mom.
28:44You're crazy, huh?
29:05Me and the girls are at the airport ready to surprise Taylor.
29:08We decided to make signs for her new adventure.
29:10She's been through so much.
29:11Kind of send her off on her little mission to the Bachelorette because in our church, when someone goes on
29:16a mission, usually when they come home, people have signs welcoming them back.
29:19You'll see that a lot at Salt Lake Airport.
29:21So we're sending her off to her mission to the Bachelorette.
29:24And we're ready for her to be away from Dakota and find her real man.
29:27We're already getting close.
29:28It's great.
29:29They are ready.
29:29It's 945.
29:30It leaves.
29:31It leaves at 11.
29:32Where is she?
29:34Was she with Dakota last night again?
29:35Yes, 100%.
29:36She was with Dakota last night, so I am genuinely stressed that she, like, told him, like, I'll stay for
29:41you.
29:41This morning, Jordan heard from Dakota.
29:44Taylor slept with Dakota again last night.
29:46Go self-sabotage!
29:48Jessie tells us that Jordan told her that Dakota slept with Taylor last night.
29:53Oh, my God.
29:54I thought I couldn't get more disappointed.
29:56Right when we're like, yes, she sees it.
29:59She sees her worth.
30:00It's like she's going to the Bachelorette.
30:02She's ready to start this new journey.
30:03We're so excited for her.
30:04She's back sleeping with Dakota again, and I'm so disappointed.
30:07I'm so disappointed.
30:08I'm definitely disappointed in Taylor.
30:10I don't think that this was a smart move to do right before the Bachelorette.
30:13To be frank, if I was one of these guys and I found out that she, after Baby Daddy, the
30:17day before meeting me, I would be extremely upset and pissed.
30:21Dakota's trying to pull out all of his cards because he's desperate.
30:24Like, he's doing anything he can to get her to not go.
30:27Like, I'm shocked, but I'm not shocked at the same time.
30:29I'm just tired.
30:30I'm so over this.
30:31I'm just hoping Dakota doesn't sneak there at some point.
30:33Dakota's in the checked luggage, let's be honest.
30:36Is that Ben?
30:37That's not Ben.
30:39Weird.
30:39No, that's Ben.
30:40Shut the fuck up.
30:41Do you like my sexy socks?
30:42I was just going to comment on your sexy socks.
30:47Wait.
30:48That's not them.
30:48That's not them.
30:50Oh.
30:51It looks exactly like him.
30:52I about died, you guys.
30:54She only has 40 minutes to go through.
30:5640 minutes until boarding ends.
30:57Wait, she's right there.
30:59Coming down right there.
31:00She's right there.
31:00I can see that rat's neck for a mile away.
31:03You guys, wait.
31:03Oh, that's Aspen.
31:04Okay.
31:05I'm going to yell.
31:06Okay, that's her mom.
31:07That's her mom.
31:08There's Aspen.
31:08Wait, where's Taylor?
31:09She's right there.
31:10Wait, where is she?
31:13But that's Aspen and her mom.
31:14Where's Taylor?
31:16Taylor's not even there.
31:17What the hell?
31:18Where's Taylor?
31:19Aspen's going to be the bachelorette.
31:21Oh, my gosh.
31:22Look at that.
31:24Wait, where's Taylor?
31:25Oh, yeah.
31:28She's not coming.
31:29She's not, for real?
31:31She's not coming.
31:33You're joking.
31:34No, I'm being dead.
31:35You guys heard about this.
31:37Is it because of Dakota?
31:39Oh, no.
31:39We don't know why.
31:40What's going on?
31:41She slept with him last night.
31:42No, sir.
31:43For real.
31:45No, sir.
31:45You guys are freaking kidding me.
31:47You're joking, right?
31:49No.
31:50For real.
31:51Then why the hell are we going and doing all of this?
31:54Oh, my gosh.
31:55It makes me actually very sick that she would put this whole deal in jeopardy.
32:01Why isn't she here?
32:02She wouldn't get up.
32:03We could not get her up.
32:05And she's like, I'm not going right now.
32:06I can't do it.
32:07You guys.
32:08And then she's like, you guys get on the flight and go.
32:11Okay, no.
32:11She's going to send you without going.
32:13Like, what's the point of that?
32:14Hey, I need you to call me, like, ASAP.
32:16I fucking hate Dakota.
32:18And Taylor, I'm like, I love my sister, but I'm like, pull it out of your ass.
32:23And you can't be this mad at Shania and then give him a pass.
32:25And like, I'm so, I cannot.
32:27Ew, ew, ew.
32:28Does ABC have a backup plan?
32:29Oh, I freaking hate him.
32:31I know, I know.
32:32Don't forget to drop your baggage.
32:34Yeah.
32:35She's allowing it.
32:36I know.
32:36I'm sorry.
32:37I'm sorry, Leigh-Anne.
32:38Come here, give me a hug.
32:39I'm sorry.
32:40I know.
32:41This is so bad, you guys.
32:43Taylor not showing up at the airport is not only a bad sign for her and her journey in the
32:48Bachelorette, but also for MomTalk, like, she's going to choose Dakota, who's been kind of
32:52ruining her life for the last three years, over something that is a fresh start.
32:56Like, all of us in MomTalk, we've all tried so hard to help her, and we've all been there
33:00for her, but I think it backfired on us.
33:03I'm, like, so frustrated.
33:04I'm so pissed.
33:05I don't even want to get on a plane.
33:06No, this is stupid.
33:06Well, you guys shouldn't.
33:07You shouldn't.
33:08If she's not coming, she has to go.
33:10She has to.
33:10She's already announced it.
33:11I'm going to go on this flight, and she better be there today, or I'm cutting her freaking off.
33:16Do you want us to go to her house and drag her out of bed?
33:19Tell her she better get there.
33:19We've got to rebook a flight.
33:20Well, you could go ahead and tell her if she doesn't get up and go that she's losing everybody
33:24her help.
33:25I'm done.
33:26She'll be done.
33:27And I'll be done, too.
33:28I'll be done.
33:30This is so bad.
33:31Taylor is like an addict when it comes to Dakota.
33:33We're just trying to help her.
33:35We spent hours making these signs.
33:37We showed up early at the airport to be there and send her off, but seeing her mom and kids
33:41come to the airport without her and saying she's not coming, I'm, like, great.
33:44My worst fears have come true.
33:45She's going to sabotage this entire experience for Dakota, and she's never going to get better.
33:50I love you.
33:51I'm sorry.
33:51I'm so heated.
33:52We all are, too.
33:53So, don't worry.
33:54Yeah, go to her house.
33:55We need to go to her house.
33:56We need to go take these to her door and be like, look, we were here to support you.
34:00We stomp him.
34:10She's not going to let us in, you guys.
34:11I don't give a shit.
34:12I'm going to break her damn window by her bed and jump in.
34:15It's a Sunday.
34:16I should be in church praising the Lord.
34:18And here I am.
34:20Does anyone know her door code?
34:22I don't care, but I know there's a big rock by her window.
34:24We can slash this.
34:25I'm just not sure how to approach this yet.
34:27I don't know if we approach it angry or, like, I just don't know.
34:30She's not going to answer you guys.
34:33Do you have a text sent out?
34:35Oh, it's locked.
34:36It's not a thing.
34:37That's probably there.
34:38You guys should go around back.
34:40Yeah, let's go.
34:42Tap on the window.
34:44Oh, what about this one?
34:46No, it's locked.
34:46I thought it wasn't.
34:47Oh, wait, it got in, but there's something there.
34:50Is it Dakota?
34:51Oh, my gosh.
34:52What is all of this?
34:53Now that we've successfully broken into Taylor's house, I think we can officially add breaking
34:57and entering to our resumes.
34:59Should I wink?
35:01I can't wink.
35:03I've been working on it.
35:05Is she going to be so mad at us?
35:07Wait, well, Leanne told us to do this.
35:09There's her bag, like, half-packed.
35:11It's half-packed?
35:12Yeah.
35:13Oh, my hell, Taylor.
35:15I think it looks like she didn't fully go.
35:17You guys, what do I do?
35:18We're already in here, guys.
35:19Now we can't leave, so we have to just start.
35:21We're already in here.
35:22Just, like, pop your head in.
35:23Just don't, like, don't say anything unless she's awake, because I don't want to wake her up.
35:29Taylor?
35:31Yeah?
35:33Hi.
35:33Who's here?
35:35Mom talk?
35:36Your mom sent us.
35:39I mean, why are you here?
35:44Taylor, you have a responsibility.
35:46Why aren't you on the plane?
35:47Because I'm so fucking sick.
35:48What the fuck do I want to do?
35:50I'm so sick.
35:50Why won't anyone be alone?
35:53I mean, you were with Dakota last night.
35:54You weren't that sick.
35:55I mean, the fuck who I was with?
35:56I was with my babies all night.
35:57I'm so fucking sick.
36:00I mean, if you don't want help, we'll leave, but we're just trying to get you on top.
36:05Because you said yes to Bachelorette.
36:07You should have said no.
36:08You're not well.
36:10I'm feeling definitely sick, exhausted, drained.
36:14My friends want the best for me, and they're, you know, in my house trying to get me to go,
36:17and I really appreciate it.
36:18I'm just to a point where it's, like, so low that I don't even want them to help me.
36:22Like, I'm sorry, but I'm just sick of supporting you when you keep doing this.
36:25Your mom's pissed.
36:26Your sister's pissed.
36:26Like, you're sending them to L.A. with your kids, and you can't show up?
36:30Like, just say no to the Bachelorette.
36:32Sucks that we woke up at 6 a.m. to be there for you.
36:35So over it.
36:37All of us girls are honestly going through a lot right now.
36:40Mikayla and Jace's marriage is going through a really hard time.
36:43Jessie's contemplating divorce every day.
36:45I'm dealing with my eating disorder.
36:47And the last thing that we need is our leader, Taylor, to be falling apart as well.
36:52I just feel like she's kind of the glue to this group.
36:54And if she's not doing well, then mom talk is not doing well either.
36:58Let's just go and let her deconstruct on her own.
37:01Okay, we'll leave, Taylor, but we hope that you make one of the later flights today.
37:06Go talk to Dakota, because you can talk to him and not us.
37:24Thank you for talking to Whitney for me yesterday.
37:27Are you eventually interested in talking to her?
37:29Are you just done with this friendship?
37:32I don't owe her anything.
37:33I literally told her, I said, Whitney, if anything, Jen's the least manipulative, calculated person I know.
37:39In fact, she's so not calculated that, like, she gets herself in trouble.
37:42Jen wasn't planning on doing a live.
37:44If she wanted to expose you for the way you've treated her, she would have already done it.
37:47It was very much alive.
37:48It was very much, should I have said that?
37:50No.
37:51Someone asked me if I'm rooting for her, and I say no, and now I owe her an apology.
37:56That's what I told her.
37:57I said, I'm sorry, I'm not rooting for you.
37:59Were you not just saying F you to me last week?
38:03Do you see yourself ever being friends with Whitney again?
38:10Holy shit.
38:11Fuck you.
38:13Well, I mean, Whitney's, to me, 2.0.
38:18Like, I have no interest in being friends, interacting.
38:23I'll always be cordial, but, like...
38:26It feels like Whitney ruined enough of the experience, and it's sad to me that now that it's over, we're
38:31still talking about it.
38:32And it feels like she's like a parasite, and no matter what thing we do, it always...
38:37Like, we can never just enjoy the experience for what it is and take the positives.
38:41Like, and I just want to, like, focus on what you accomplished and the positives you took away.
38:45You becoming a better dancer, you growing as a person.
38:47Like, that's what I wish we were talking about, not Whitney and her drama.
38:50Yeah.
38:52When I got eliminated, honestly, I was so sad.
38:59Gosh.
39:00I think the hardest part about leaving Dancing with the Stars was how much it brought back my authentic self.
39:09And so, when that journey was over, I felt like it was almost stripped from me.
39:15And so, I just remember praying to God, just being like, oh, please don't let that version of myself go
39:21away.
39:22Things are ever going to go wrong when I'm ever talking to Whitney.
39:27To be honest, I think that's why I want to go back to Utah, is I want to regroup, go
39:32back to my family and friends, and just really figure out what it is that I want.
39:37I think we need to go do something fun.
39:38We need to get out of the house and just go...
39:40I want to go to the beach.
39:41Yeah, we need to go to the beach.
39:58This is the thing with being a part of MomTalk, is there are going to be relationships that ebb and
40:03flow, but which I'm not even bothering to show up.
40:06It seems that my friendship with her is officially coming to an end.
40:09Can I still be in this group and have Jen in the group?
40:12Absolutely, because I'm actually a mature adult.
40:15Right now, my focus is on bringing home that mirror ball, and then I need to pack for New York
40:21City.
40:22And what's in New York City?
40:25Roxy Hart.
40:28It's official!
40:30I booked the lead role in Chicago, and I'm heading to Broadway.
40:50I am scared to find a guy that will love me back and also be willing to deal with a
40:57couple baby daddies and kids.
41:00But I think if I don't take this step, I do stay stagnant in where I'm at.
41:04This is not only like an opportunity, I think, for just finding someone.
41:08This is an opportunity to get away from the toxicity I'm in here, and I want out of it.
41:29I got a later flight.
41:32I am in L.A.
41:33I am exhausted, but I'm here, and I'm happy that I made it.
41:46Hello.
41:47Hi.
41:48Hi.
41:49Hi.
41:50Did you make it?
41:52I did.
41:53How was it?
41:55Good.
41:56Just really tired.
41:58Yeah, I bet.
41:59So Taylor just landed, and I feel like this is the last chance I'll be able to kind of, I
42:05don't know, even like express to her how I feel.
42:08Essentially just the fact of, I've always wanted you.
42:12I do just want to say sorry for everything that I did.
42:18I know that that caused a lot of problems.
42:22Can you be more specific what you're doing now?
42:23With Shania.
42:25For doing what?
42:26What did you do?
42:27Even with you.
42:28You know what I did.
42:29For hooking up with her.
42:30Well, be specific if you're going to apologize about it.
42:32Well, I think everybody knows that.
42:34I want to hear it.
42:36Yes.
42:36I want to hear how sorry you are for what you did.
42:38I know.
42:39I am.
42:39Taylor, I'm sorry for what I did.
42:41I'm sorry for hooking up with Shania.
42:44Was it dumb of me?
42:45Yes.
42:46Well, could I pick someone else?
42:47Yes.
42:48Like, who it was matters, and that's where I think I went wrong.
42:52And I picked somebody that, I mean, obviously, yeah, it was going to come with problems.
42:59And I think that was, like, very shitty of me to do.
43:03Thank you.
43:04And I put you in a shitty spot, and I know that hurt you really bad.
43:07The apology is just words like it always is.
43:10How many times can he do this where you believe it and you suck back into it and it's not
43:14true?
43:15Wake up.
43:16I think there's a lot of pain.
43:17I think there's a lot of things we've done to hurt each other.
43:20But overall, I still think we love each other.
43:23It's toxic.
43:24That's the issue.
43:24I know it is toxic.
43:25I agree.
43:26But that's the thing is, I also, it doesn't have to be this way.
43:30We make it toxic.
43:31It doesn't have to be that way.
43:32But this would be the best thing for us, regardless of, like, what happens for you and me.
43:37Like, this would be the best, like, break and break off of, like, our cycles.
43:41And I think you could do a lot of healing.
43:42But it's up to you, really, what you do.
43:45I just feel like, I don't know.
43:48Like, I am, I'm happy for you.
43:49Like, I want you to be happy.
43:50And if you, and that's what I'm saying.
43:51If you do find someone, like, great.
43:53But all I'm going to say, save a rose for me.
43:59Okay?
44:00Like, if you don't find someone, like, I know I've been acting like such a dumbass.
44:05And I've kind of just, like, fell completely away from who I am.
44:10And, like, that's, that's why I love you.
44:12It's like, like, you're the only person that could help me see that sometimes.
44:17I'm just like, hey, like, this isn't who you are.
44:23Hey, just not.
44:24I think that's not secret to anybody, Dakota.
44:27What?
44:29Say it.
44:31That there's feelings there, obviously.
44:33Can you just admit that you still love me?
44:37I love you and I hate you.
44:40I think talking to Dakota is not a good idea.
44:43But it's a hard pill to swallow that it's done and I need to move on.
44:46It hurts.
44:47Just say it.
44:48Like, oh.
44:50At the end of the day, I do think it's an opportunity to get away from him.
44:53Absolutely.
44:53It's like a dream come true.
44:55Okay, they're about to film me getting away from Dakota.
44:56Okay, save me a rose.
44:58Say it.
44:58Save me a rose.
45:01Okay.
45:03So just let me know.
45:06Okay, bye.
45:23The night is finally here.
45:25It's my annual Halloween party.
45:26Last year at the Halloween party, there was a lot of rowdiness.
45:29I have no idea how this is going to go down.
45:31But this year, I'm hoping that tonight we can just have a chance to relax and maybe have one night
45:35of fun.
45:38I am so happy to hear that Taylor finally caught a flight to L.A. for The Bachelorette.
45:42Things with Taylor and MomTalk feel a little unresolved right now.
45:45But I feel like The Bachelorette is going to be like an eight-week detox where she can't talk to
45:50Dakota.
45:50And it couldn't be coming at a better time.
45:52Are you Blair?
45:54I'm the new Queen Bee, obviously.
45:56I should have known.
45:59Thank you.
46:00Look at it.
46:00She's Blair.
46:02Ew.
46:02Wow.
46:04Wait, you look so hot, though.
46:06I'm like obsessed.
46:07Thank you.
46:07Where's Jace, though?
46:09I have no idea.
46:10What?
46:10I'm like, I think he's coming.
46:12Oh, okay.
46:12You just drove separate?
46:13Yeah.
46:14Okay.
46:14It's still kind of awkward because I still haven't told the other girls kind of the state
46:18of where Jace and I are at.
46:20And they don't know that the two of us are living separately currently.
46:24And Macy's the only one that knows.
46:26I like my alone time for sure.
46:28But also, I'm like, I don't like being alone at the same time.
46:31I'm just hoping it gets better.
46:34And I just don't want this information in someone's hand, like Jordan, who has a big mouth.
46:43I think it's definitely hitting me, the gravity of being separated and what that looks like.
46:49I think there's part of me that is definitely scared to lose him because I don't know how
46:54long it's going to take and I don't know how long he can be patient for.
46:59Yeah.
47:00I don't know.
47:01I don't know how to feel about it.
47:07Dan Humphrey!
47:35I'm very grateful for Jesse and Miranda and how supportive they've been.
47:38for me throughout this hard time.
47:41Sometimes when you're in the midst of an eating disorder, it feels like you're never gonna
47:47be better and you're never gonna, like, overcome it.
47:51However, Jesse found one of the number one eating disorder facilities here in the U.S.,
47:55which is amazing.
47:57Hi!
47:57Hey, guys.
47:58Hello!
47:59Hi, Layla.
47:59Thank you so much for coming.
48:01Thank you.
48:01Thank you.
48:29I'm a little nervous, definitely.
48:29I'm actually shocked to hear that Mason read my book and he was saying how much he loved
48:33it, which I was like, wait, what?
48:34I, like, sorry I didn't know guys, like, read books.
48:36Maybe that's so horrible of me to say, but, like, despite everything going on in MomTalk right
48:41now, the reason why I wrote this book was to inspire.
48:44I think that's what keeps me fighting to save my friend group, to save MomTalk, and keep
48:48them away from all these toxic men.
48:50Because I've been through a lot of challenges, heartbreaks, hardships, and I just want my
48:53friends to be happy.
48:54I just want us to thrive, and that's a big purpose behind what I do.
49:05It looks like his type, so.
49:07We're, like, we're, like, trying to figure it out.
49:12Hi!
49:13You came here?
49:15You're crazy?
49:16You're crazy.
49:17I'm not crazy.
49:19I could not believe you're here.
49:21Wait, wait, what?
49:23Oh.
49:24So, Shania shows up, and, uh, damn, this is a tough spot.
49:30So, it feels a little awkward, obviously, like, seeing her.
49:33The last thing I want is for us to have some shit show happen, like, the last Halloween.
49:38Why is he talking to Shania?
49:40They're back together.
49:42He's so dumb for doing this right now.
49:44I'm glad we made a sex pack for sure.
49:46That was cool.
49:46Yeah, that was badass, huh?
49:48I want, to be fair, I also thought it was going to last a lot longer than what it did.
49:53You broke it, not me!
49:55I know, but hang on.
49:56Wait, I know!
49:57No, no, no, no.
49:58Oh, my gosh, okay.
50:00Technically, okay.
50:01Oh, fuck.
50:03Dakota!
50:04I didn't even, well, I never got the chance to even tell you this, so, uh, yeah, you're
50:11going to fucking hate it, but you already know, probably.
50:16It was freaking Taylor.
50:18The truth is, this right now, okay?
50:23This is what I am right now.
50:24I'm, like, I'm just emotionally, like, I think a little bit more of myself than I thought.
50:29I thought I could maybe do it.
50:31I would love to be with Taylor.
50:32I would love that opportunity, and maybe there's a chance that this could be something that
50:36she needs.
50:37If she goes out and dates, like, 30 handpicked men for her, and ends up choosing me at the
50:42end, I feel like that's also maybe, like, a good sign for her.
50:45Like, maybe that would help her.
50:47Yeah, but I'm also, again, I'm in a position to where I don't think I can sit and rely on
50:52that either, of having that hope.
50:55I do want to, you know, I really did care a lot about, like, how everything went down,
51:00and that was really hard to watch.
51:03And I'm, like, sorry, you had to go through that.
51:05I just don't ever want to come back on brand, and that's my only thing that I care about.
51:09Being back in MomTalk, it's no secret that Taylor and I have kind of been through hell.
51:16I mean, it's been one thing after the next, it seems.
51:20You think Taylor should still be leading MomTalk?
51:23Personally, you know, maybe we just raw dog MomTalk, no leader.
51:34We have come so far in just the last few years, especially here in the Utah Mormon culture,
51:39because MomTalk has flipped typical gender roles.
51:41We're breadwinners, not trad wives, with Taylor being bachelorette,
51:45Whitney and Jen doing Dancing with the Stars, Macy in her book event,
51:48Layla in modeling.
51:49We all have so many cool things happening for us.
51:51Oh, I love it!
51:53It really is true that in life, what you do doesn't matter.
51:56It's who you spend your time with.
51:57So having a good, supportive group of friends makes your accomplishments even better.
52:02I'm not here because I need to cry.
52:04Okay.
52:05I needed to talk to somebody about this because, like, it's kind of been freaking me out a little bit.
52:10But, like, Taylor told me, like, the last time that we did it, that she was, like, ovulating.
52:20So she could be pregnant.
52:22Like, Taylor, randomly in bed, she goes, she's like, I haven't had my period yet.
52:26And I was like, I was like, from, like, when?
52:29Like, and then she told me, and I was like, whoa, hang on, okay.
52:32Or I could ask...
52:32Is she going to be a pregnant bachelorette?
52:35That's what I'm freaking...
52:36But, because they took her damn phone before I could ask her and say,
52:39hey, have you...
52:40Did you start your period, or what's going on here?
52:42This is a movie.
52:43Deep down, like, you have symptoms.
52:45You know if you're pregnant.
52:46Like, especially...
52:47Actually, it's weird, too, is, like, Dana was trying to think about, like,
52:49how emotional kind of she's been lately.
52:50She's been a little erratic.
52:52Yeah, like, a little bit more.
52:53It's where I was like, hmm.
52:54God, Dakota, this is so bad.
52:54And then she was, like, sick a few times.
52:56Like, I remember telling me she felt sick a little bit.
52:58I was like, holy...
52:59But I just don't, I don't know anything.
53:02Can you fucking imagine, you guys?
53:04Like, she's the bachelorette, and she's pregnant.
53:06Like, that's never happened.
53:07I don't feel like they could keep her on.
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