- 3 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00i was born not because i actually lied but because of this thing around my mom called me a liar
00:05from
00:05the day i was born not because i actually lied but because of this thing around my neck the verity
00:10choker mom was luna of silver moon pack and she believed one thing above all lying was the mark
00:15of a weak wolf we were her daughters future alpha heirs weakness was not an option so when my twin
00:22sister emma and i were born mom clasped these chokers around our throats which had witch magic
00:27to detect lies green light means truth red light means you were lying emma's choker always green
00:34she could shred mom's ceremonial cloak and blame the cat and gem would glow a steady green not me
00:40green light believed me mom i'm hungry and flash red light the choker choked tight i shifted on instinct
00:50a small white wolf pawing desperately at the gem around my neck claws scraping against it unable to
00:56get it off i'm not lying not lying please but mom's eyes had already gone cold instant punishment
01:03mom's punishment wasn't gentle no food locked in my room no contact with anyone in the pack
01:09the truth necklace doesn't lie stella starve now study later i'm doing this for your own good after 10
01:16years of this i started believing it too maybe i really was born wrong new year's eve everything
01:22changed mom was getting ready to take emma to the pack's bonfire celebration and that's when the pain
01:28hit like a knife twisting in my gut i collapsed on the floor my skeletal frame curling into itself
01:34mom please the choker flashed red and choked tight she looked down at me disgusted in her eyes
01:42in your dream stella faking an illness to ruin our night she grabbed emma's hand and headed for the door
01:49i wanted to howl but my wolf was too weak to answer i shifted anyway forced it a small white
01:56wolf
01:56trembling on the floor ribs heaving maybe in this form the pain would hurt less it didn't i couldn't
02:02even hold the shift i slipped back into myself without meaning to sorry mom i won't lie anymore
02:08but the pain got worse way worse the door handle turned for one second i thought mom's coming back
02:15she came back for me hurry up the bonfire is starting emma's waiting mom i reached out with
02:23a shaking hand please something's really wrong i feel like i'm dying she glanced at my neck the gem
02:29was flashing red over and over she crouched down grabbed my chin stella how long are you gonna keep
02:36this up can't you just be honest and stay here and think about what you've done dad appeared in
02:42the doorway honey should we at least leave her some food food she has a stash of snacks she bought
02:50with
02:50stolen money she won't starve lock the door when that gem turns green we'll talk but but what
02:59it's because you spoil her that she turned out this way look at emma her gem has always been green
03:06stella is a liar an alpha heiress who can't tell the truth she needs discipline but my cabinet was
03:12empty emma stole that money emma ate those snacks emma just stood there with her glowing green gem saying
03:20not me and mom believed her i tried to defend myself it wasn't me red light the choker choked tight
03:28i tried to shift nothing happened deep inside my wolf barely stirred mom locked me up for three days
03:36with nothing but water and stale bread mom turned to leave emma peeked through the door made a face at
03:43me
03:43bye sis we're gonna see the bonfire her gem glowed a steady green so pretty the door locked the house
03:52went silent i called my wolf nothing came back not even a whisper just me alone the pain was unbearable
04:02but i kept thinking mom's right the gem doesn't lie it's red so i must be lying i'm not in
04:10pain
04:10i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i kept repeating it like a prayer eventually i almost believed it
04:20the pain dulled or maybe i was just going numb i crawled to my desk i had to write that
04:28was the rule
04:28if the gem glowed red i had to pen a thousand word apology or mom would never let me out
04:35i am a liar
04:37write it down and maybe mom would forgive me maybe she'd even let me out i opened my journal
04:44pages and pages of apologies i'd written over the years sorry i lied i won't do it again but this
04:52time
04:52i wanted to write the truth my vision blurred my hand shook as i wrote mom i really love you
05:00it really hurts why won't you believe me please believe me just once the moment i finished the
05:08last word the pain vanished just gone i felt light weightless i looked down i was floating and there
05:18slumped over the desk was my body motionless the gem still flashing red around a dead girl's neck
05:26oh i'm dead and then she came out my wolf stepping out of my body like she'd been waiting
05:34all along small skinny barely holding together she looked up at me and once soft and low in the
05:43pack's old stories they say when a wolf dies young her spirit doesn't cross over alone her wolf walks
05:51beside her until they find the door together i knelt down she pressed her nose into my ghostly palm
05:58finally we were together now but i never learned how to be honest sorry mom i heard laughter mom dad
06:07emma coming through the front door tonight's bonfire was beautiful the best one yet just like our emma
06:16perfect in every way i'd never heard her sound like that when she talked about me i floated toward
06:22them my wolf patting silently at my side moving on instinct i wanted to help them take off their
06:28cloaks that's what i always did mom my arms passed right through her body like wind why is it so
06:35cold
06:35here is the harley out i stood there staring at my transparent hands my wolf pressed against my leg
06:43and looked up at me with sad eyes right dead wolves couldn't hug the living shall we go and see
06:49stella
06:49she hasn't eaten yet still the good cop i looked at mom hopefully if she found me dead would she
06:56be sad
06:56would she regret it she won't starve she is a werewolf not a human pup this whole fake sick for
07:06attention
07:06thing is out of control i laughed bitterly mom wasn't wrong werewolves heal but i hadn't been able
07:14to in a long time last winter the choker left bruises that stayed for days that hadn't happened
07:20before i reached for my wolf she was still there but the warmth never came she was too hungry just
07:26like
07:27me mom never noticed she only ever looked at my neck for one thing the gem and whether it was
07:35red or
07:35green mom pushed open my door didn't even turn on the light just for a second her eyes flashed gold
07:42her wolf might have known mom didn't listen in the dim glow from the hallway she saw me slumped over
07:48my
07:48desk i looked like a skeleton hadn't moved still putting on an act you're 10 years old not five
07:57grow up mom i'm not playing i'm dead look at me touch me i'm freezing she couldn't hear me she
08:06only
08:07believed what she wanted to see emma squeezed past her held up her choker with that smug little grin
08:12look my gem is green stella's is still red she's lying even in her sleep that's my good girl
08:20ignore the liar let her stay there maybe she'll learn how to be honest should we at least put her
08:27in bed it's freezing put her in bed look at that red gem still lying come on leave her we
08:35have to
08:35visit grandma tomorrow the door locked again i floated next to my corpse my wolf curled silently at
08:43my feet staring at that single point of red light in the darkness mom if you just stepped closer if
08:49you just touched my hand you'd know i was ice cold but you didn't you believed the choker not the
08:56daughter you carried for nine months that night a rat crawled out of my empty cabinet i used to scream
09:03whenever i saw rats but now i just floated by the ceiling watching it scurry across my dead body
09:08the rat bit into my toe i didn't feel anything my wolf charged at it anyway and passed right through
09:15landing on the other side she turned back to look at me confused lost i pulled her close and buried
09:23my
09:23face in the fur of her back it's okay you can't feel it anymore it'll be over soon she let
09:30out one low
09:31growl then went still against me finally no more pain for either of us the next morning sunlight streamed
09:39through the window no warmth reached my body in the kitchen i could hear mom making breakfast the smell
09:46of roasted meat crept under my door my favorite but mom always said liars don't deserve meat so i only
09:53ever got steamed vegetables she was clanging the pots extra loud on purpose trying to tempt me out
09:59trying to make me give in and apologize for things i never did in the old days i might have
10:04caved i might
10:06have confessed to anything for one bite of roasted meat but i don't need food anymore
10:11stella still hasn't come out yet dad asked reading the pack notices she is so stubborn she can eat or
10:18not i don't care emma walked to my door and made a big show of sniffing the air then she
10:26screamed
10:27dramatically mom stella's room smells like poop did she poop in there i floated by the door watching
10:35my sister with a bitter smile my wolf sat beside me ears flat eyes low the hearth was burning hot
10:43after just one night my body started to rot mom stormed over pounding on the door
10:57i remembered being six i had food poisoning couldn't make it to the toilet in time mom didn't
11:04help me clean up she made me stand outside pointed at me and told the neighbors look at this she's
11:11such
11:11a mess she can't even use the toilet herself now she thought i was dirty again leave her let her
11:17sit
11:18in her own stink but dad stood up frowning that smells really bad i should check could it be a
11:25dead
11:25rat or something my heart if i still had one leapt dad please open the door i'm right here just
11:35turn
11:35the handle and you'll see i'm not moving i waved my transparent arms frantically my wolf ran straight
11:42to my bedroom door willing dad to open it dad's hand touched the door handle his hand froze one
11:49was pounding at the front door a pack elder urgent business dad's face went pale he grabbed his cloak
11:55the border there's an emergency he was already out the door i froze so close one second away if that
12:03knock had come one second later i would have been found maybe then i wouldn't have rotted alone that
12:08afternoon mom took emma to the pack market the house was empty except for my corpse when they
12:13came back that evening loaded down with food and gifts from the market the smell had gotten worse
12:18mom gagged the second she walked in stella are you trying to turn this place into a den of inequity
12:24she didn't even open my door just grabbed cloth strips and sealed the gap at the bottom if you want
12:29to stay in there and make disgusting stew zoos don't stink up my house she patted her hands together
12:34satisfied then went to prepare dinner i stared at that sealed door my wolf pressed her nose against
12:40it and whimpered once so that's it i'm worth less than a venison dinner by day three even the cloth
12:45strips couldn't contain the smell mom was arranging fresh wildflowers trying to cover it up but the
12:51stench of death is unmistakable sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem too hard a thorn pierced her hand
12:59she snapped in her mind i was doing this on purpose not bathing poop on the floor hiding dead rats
13:05in my
13:05room all to piss her off all to defy her authority as luna stella she grabbed a rolling pin from
13:12the
13:12kitchen stormed toward my room i'm done with you you disgusting little brat time you learned what real
13:19pain feels like i floated in front of her waving my arms desperately don't come in mom please please
13:28even though she never loved me i didn't want her to see me like that but she walked right through
13:33me
13:33ripped the cloth strips off jammed the spare key into the lock the door flew open the smell hit her
13:39like
13:39a wall she stumbled back retching stella what are you doing she saw me still slumped over the desk back
13:47turned not moving to her this was the ultimate rebellion i'm talking to you she marched over
13:54raised the rolling pin but stopped she wanted to see my face first wanted to see my get up
14:00she grabbed the back of my shirt grabbed my skin the moment she touched me she froze through the thin
14:06fabric her hand didn't feel warm flesh she felt cold hard dead meat the kind of cold that seeps into
14:13your bones what but momentum carried her forward she yanked crash my body stiff as a board toppled
14:20backward taking the chair with it and there was my face blue black eyes bulging features twisted in
14:26agony dried foam and blood crusted around my mouth around my blackened neck the verity choker hung
14:32the gem dark no red no green just silence my journal slid off the desk fell open at mom's feet
14:41the last
14:42page stared up at her mom my stomach really hurts the choker is wrong i'm not lying please don't punish
14:48me
14:49mom screamed not a wolf's howl a raw guttural shriek that tore through her throat she stumbled backward
14:57slammed into the bookshelf a clay pot shattered but she didn't seem to feel the pain she just
15:03stared at me eyes wide unblinking no no no no this is not real stella get up stella get up
15:13i'm not mad
15:14anymore stop scaring me her hand reached out trembling to touch my arm the second her skin made contact with
15:23my corpse she recoiled like she'd been burned that cold was too real lisa from next door heard the
15:30screaming and went straight to the pack healer when she saw what was in my room she collapsed in the
15:36gate within the hour heavy boots on the floorboards the pack healer and a handful of pack warriors
15:42crowding the entrance mom sat on the floor a warrior's hand on her shoulder she's speaking it she's always lying
15:51it doesn't lie i'm just teaching her no one responded they all looked at her like she was a monster
15:58the pack healer crouched next to my body he muttered under his breath severe malnutrition
16:04organ failure this puppy has been starved for at least a month he carefully tried to remove the verity
16:11choker but it had fused years of tightening had pressed the leather deep into the skin of my neck
16:17damn it he had to use tools to pry it off even dead my soul flinched my wolf lifted her
16:24head and
16:26long raw desperate the kind of howl that should have shaken the walls no one heard it no one flinched
16:34we were already dead a warrior picked up my journal started reading his face went from neutral
16:41to horrified mom's eyes locked on to that book that's her confession she admits she lied look she
16:49wrote it herself the warrior pushed her back wrapped the journal in cloth and took it we'll report it to
16:57the council that's when dad got home he saw the pack healer and the pack warriors crowding the doorway
17:04saw the body wrap being carried out saw the long cord that sealed away my entire life
17:11his legs gave out he collapsed on the doorstep emma stood nearby sobbing in confusion
17:18she pointed at the discolored verity choker on the table why does stella have a black collar and i have
17:24a green one see she held up her neck the gem blinked its steady green it was grotesque
17:31the council elders arrived before dawn mom straightened when she saw them even now even
17:38with my body three days cold and rotting her luna instincts kicked in she lifted her chin squared
17:45her shoulders it didn't work today they started questioning mom in the living room mom grabbed
17:51the verity choker off the table like it was a lifeline test it that choker proved she was lying
17:58red gem means lie i never abused her the choker told me i was just educating her the council elders
18:08looked at her like she'd lost her mind the pup shows signs of extreme malnutrition months of starvation
18:17aphelion multiple old injuries consistent with prolonged that's just discipline that's teaching
18:23her to be honest then she did something insane you don't believe me fine i'll wear it
18:34watch it'll be green the leather pressed against her skin cold sticky that was my blood she took a
18:43deep breath tried to calm herself she needed to prove she was innocent needed to prove her way of
18:49raising and alpha air was right she held up the gem eyes wild listen i'm rachel i'm stella's mother
18:58this is the truth the absolute truth the gem flashed red mom's confident expression shattered
19:07i said truth i am rachel i never abused her i did it for her own good
19:16i love her and suddenly she remembered me 10 years old gasping as the choker tightened around
19:25my throat biting my lip so i wouldn't make a sound is this what it felt like why is it
19:32red i am telling
19:33the truth turn green you're broken you're setting me up but the gem kept flashing like it was mocking
19:40her you're a liar you're a liar enough this is just a bloodstone i've seen it before it changes color
19:52with body heat fear pain anything that makes your heart race temperature rises it burns red that's all it
20:01does no witch magic never was think about your daughter ruptured appendix organ failure the pain
20:10must have been unbearable she was terrified and what did you see a red gem so you punished her more
20:18which made her more scared which made her temperature rise which made the stone turn redder
20:27you are luna you are supposed to protect every wolf in this pack you couldn't even protect your own
20:35daughter you ignored her cries for help you starved your daughter to death mom's world collapsed she sat
20:43there staring at the flashing gem on her own net and finally understood for 10 years every red light
20:51wasn't because i was lying it was because i was scared scared of her anger scared of being misunderstood
20:58scared of eating food that made me sick i was in pain pain that made my heart race and cold
21:05sweat pour
21:06down my face i was desperate desperate for a hug for her to hold me the way she held emma
21:13every signal
21:14from my frightened heart she had interpreted as proof of my lies no get it off
21:24i'm not lying she tried to shift fur rippling across her skin bones cracking but the leather
21:32cinched harder around her throat the moment her neck didn't change she snapped back into human form gasping
21:40i can't get it off stella take it back i'm sorry it's all my fault this little bit of choking
21:48and she
21:49was already breaking mom i suffered for 10 years the council elders needed evidence for judgment so
21:58they opened my journal in front of my parents february 14th sunny mom put celery on my plate i'm allergic
22:06my throat swells i can't breathe i said i can't eat it but because i was scared of making her
22:12angry
22:13my body ran hot the gem flashed red the choker tightened mom said i was picky lying made me eat
22:22the whole plate that night i threw up blood my throat felt like it was on fire i shifted to
22:29ease my pain
22:30mom saw it and said i'd snuck berry juice that i was faking the choker tightened for 10 more minutes
22:38mom's hand flew to her mouth she was shaking violently she remembered that she really did
22:46think it was berry juice she didn't even look closely just turned away to read emma a bedtime story
22:52that was blood from a swollen torn throat june 1st pup's day emma shredded mom's ceremonial cloak
23:01emma's heart is always calm her gem stays green i tried to explain but i was scared of being hit
23:09my body ran hot red gem choker tightened for 10 minutes it hurt so bad but i didn't cry because
23:18crying makes your body run hotter and mom thinks that means you're not sorry so i held my breath
23:25pretended it didn't hurt mom said see she doesn't even blink she's definitely faking it dad couldn't
23:34take it anymore this man who had always put the pack before his own family chose duty over his daughter
23:40for 10 years you monster what did you do that was your daughter you treated her like a stray blood
23:49at
23:50the corner of her mouth not my fault not my fault it's her it's emma emma's gem was always green
23:58emma
23:58was a good one if it wasn't for that green light making me trust her i wouldn't have believed the
24:03red light so much this is that little princess everyone who protected one of the council elders
24:10walked over gently removed the green verity choker from her neck took out a blade pried the gem loose
24:17right there it rolled onto the table still glowing green steady unchanged the elder picked up the stone
24:26a glowstone that is all your younger daughter's choker was always going to shine green no matter
24:34what she said did or lied about it would never change your so-called verity choker was a fraud
24:43that was her truth for 10 years that was the evidence she used to convict me a common glowstone
24:49that put me in hell while emma lived in paradise so i wasn't a liar i i laughed laughed until
24:58i cried
24:58turns out ghosts could cry too the elder turned to the last page of the journal his voice broke the
25:05handwriting was a mess clearly written while dying mom if i die will the choker stop glowing red or if
25:12it
25:12turns green will you hug me then i'm not lying i couldn't heal myself anymore my stomach hurts so much
25:20like knives next life please don't make me wear the choker please i just want to be a normal pup
25:27i want to eat mom's roasted meat mom stared at the broken glowstone on the table that truth magic she
25:33trusted without question a worthless stone because of that stone she spoiled emma for 10 years because of
25:41that cursed red light she tortured me for 10 years
25:48mom started laughing her voice cracking at every sound worse than crying fake all fake
25:59i killed my most honest pup and i worshipped a liar she'd lost her mind for real this time
26:08my death became the talk of the entire pack lisa the neighbor who had sent for the pack healer
26:14told everyone what she'd seen every wolf knew by morning luna had starved her own daughter to death
26:22monster murderer she doesn't deserve to be luna stones flew at our door the word killer carved into the wall
26:31the council convened within the day the verdict was swift dad lost his alpha title no wolf would follow
26:39him now my grandfather the former alpha read out the judgment himself he didn't look at his son once
26:46dad walked out of the council hall and never looked back he took emma and left the pack that same
26:52night
26:52emma was a bad seed sure but she was still his blood before they left emma tried to take her
26:59green choker dad stomped on it why the hell would you want that piece of trash emma cried as he
27:05dragged
27:06her away mom got out of the dungeon the healer said she had lost her mind the council locked her
27:12in the
27:13home instead the one that still smelled like death her mental state deteriorated fast she refused to take
27:20off the red choker she would tighten it herself whenever the guilt got too heavy she said choking
27:25was the only thing that eased it it was her self-imposed punishment i floated in the darkness
27:31my wolf curled beside me watching her unravel day after day she'd talk to the empty corner where i used
27:37to stand stella i brought you some food no celery today it's all roast just how you like it but
27:45there
27:45was no food there was nothing just her hands cupped around air she'd pretend to set a plate down her
27:52hands shook the gem flashed red she was anxious guilty falling apart she smiled but her eyes were
28:00empty the gem is red mom is lying liars don't deserve food she pulled the choker tight with her own
28:08hands
28:09let it choke her her body convulsed against the cold floor it hurts so much is this how stella felt
28:17i'm sorry mom started reenacting my diary entries i couldn't eat celery because of my allergy so she
28:26forced herself to eat spoiled food until she vomited blood then swallowed it back down i was locked in
28:33isolation so she locked herself in my old room lights off and bowed to my portrait until her forehead
28:40bled over and over blood on the floor late at night she'd see the red glow of the bloodstone reflected
28:48on the wall to her it looked like my bloody eyes were watching she kept punishing herself the wounds
28:55healed slower and slower her wolf exhausted by months of self-torture slowly fell into a deep
29:02sleep sleep mom didn't care she scrawled on the back of my journal i'm sorry i was wrong red means
29:10pain red means love please come back and say it hurts hurts one more time i'll save you i promise
29:18too bad i'm dead dead wolves can't cry for help eventually the new alpha intervened mom's self-harm
29:25had gone too far she'd nearly choked herself to death with her own hands he ordered her to move to
29:31a
29:31small hut at the far edge of the village locked from the outside someone posted to watch her day and
29:37night she was the strangest woman they'd ever seen nobody knew where she'd found it a frayed red cord
29:44tied around her own neck her homemade choker if anyone tried to remove it she'd snap at them teeth bared
29:52snarling wild-eyed don't touch me stella's watching she'll be angry if you take it every time the guard
30:01called her name and brought her food mom would grab the red cord and pull it tight against her own
30:07throat
30:08convulsing screaming red light red light don't punish punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food was
30:18scalding hot she'd gulp it down burning her throat wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my final
30:24moments living my hell on repeat years later emma grew up without guidance and with a trail of shame
30:32behind her she drifted from pack to pack stealing to survive no one would take her in when she ran
30:39out
30:39of options she remembered mom was still alive she slipped back into the silverman pack under the cover
30:46of night not for love for money hey crazy lady dad's dead give me whatever you've been hiding emma
30:55stood there face hard eyes full of contempt she looked at mom's hollow broken form and spat on the
31:02floor it's disgusting give me what i want or i'll send you to meet your daughter for a moment mom's
31:11cloudy
31:11eyes cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered that choker that always green glowstone
31:19that decade of deception it's you you lie you're the green light that wasn't there you killed
31:27stella give her back to me give her back to me the last shred of maternal love twisted into something
31:34feral mom lunged grabbed emma by the throat should have died not her you
31:44emma thrashed but couldn't break free from a mad woman's grip the guards rushed in pulled her off
31:51emma stumbled out of the hut terrified they're all insane she bolted into the forest she didn't get far
31:58rogues the kind that haunted the borderlands preying on anyone foolish enough to run through
32:05the trees alone at night emma never saw them coming by the time she did it was too late she
32:11survived
32:12barely both legs shattered beyond repair she'd never walk again meanwhile mom was strapped to her cot
32:20staring at the ceiling tears streaming in her dreams she finally saw me i was 10 again no choker
32:28white dress smiling mom she reached for me crying with joy stella but the moment her hands touched me
32:37i burst into ash no she woke up screaming if she'd been wearing that choker it would have been blood
32:45red eternal torment i stood in the void watching it all mom strapped to her bed emma in a wheelchair
32:53begging on the market dad drunk and dead in some gutter i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat dead
33:02calm my wolf padded over quietly she didn't howl didn't nudge just pressed her head against my hand
33:09and held it there in the distance a door of light appeared soft steady waiting i looked at my wolf
33:16she
33:17looked at me yeah time to leave this life was too bitter nothing worth holding on to
33:23i floated to mom's hut one final time she looked ancient hair completely white frail as paper she
33:30sent something her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air right where i stood stella is that you
33:36her trembling hand reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the choker i don't believe in it anymore
33:42come back please i'll cook for you no salary i'll buy you new dresses not emma tears rolled down her
33:49face i looked at the red marks on her neck from the frayed cord i i reached out my cold
33:54ghostly finger
33:56touched her forehead this was my final mercy sleep mom in sleep there's no pain her eyes fluttered shut
34:03she slumped into a deep dreamless rest a breeze blew through the hut the old journal on her cot flipped
34:09open the last page my dying words stared up at the ceiling but below it in shaky handwriting were new
34:16lines written by mom during a lucid moment next life let me wear the choker let me be the liar
34:22punish me however you want just don't leave me i stared at those words felt nothing too late
34:28repentance means nothing to the dead mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't love you either let's
34:35not meet again i turned away my wolf was waiting in the distance the door of light still glowed soft
34:41steady patient i looked at my neck the phantom verity choker still there even in spirit form
34:48the nightmare that had changed me for a lifetime i grabbed it it shattered into nothing i felt weightless
34:54free no red light no hunger no lies just freedom my wolf pressed against my side together we walked
35:01toward the light i didn't look back morning came a guard pushed open the door rachel time to eat no
35:08response she walked closer mom's hand clutched the torn journal a single tear crystallized at the
35:13corner of her eye she crouched beside her held two fingers beneath her nose nothing she was gone
35:19passing through the door wasn't violent no spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking into a spring stream
35:26i looked to my side my wolf was gone i didn't panic i pressed my hand to my chest and
35:32there she was
35:33steady warm then i heard her voice not a whimper not a whine clear and bright and full of life
35:40like
35:40the first time we met run i shifted four paws hit the ground and i ran through forests that smelled
35:46of
35:46pine and rain through cold shallow streams that splashed silver around my legs through meadows i had
35:52never seen but somehow knew my white fur caught the light my paws were sure my lungs were full my
35:59body was
36:00strong no choker around my throat no red light no hunger the lingering ache in my soul the phantom pain
36:07of 10 years started to fade with every step i ran toward brightness behind me old life dissolved like a
36:15worn photograph left out in the rain mom's final tear the red glow of the choker blood on the journal
36:21pages gone i didn't look back that 10 year nightmare was finally truly over when i opened my eyes again
36:29i was tiny wrapped in soft blankets someone was humming a woman's voice gentle off-key but full of love
36:40her fingers brushed my cheek the scent of wildflowers not the cold clinical distance of my old mother
36:47not the silence of someone who only touched me to punish i blinked up at her she had kind eyes
36:54a soft smile she cradled me like i was made of glass grace is awake honey come quick our daughter
37:02just
37:03opened her eyes a man appeared tall a little awkward but his face lit up when he saw me he
37:09touched my tiny
37:10hand with one finger his voice was deep warm hey grace i'm your dad grace not stella
37:21no weight no chains no red light just grace a name that meant something light something cherished
37:29this house was small but warm full of light cartoon painting on the walls flowers by the window
37:36sunlight pouring through the windows warm on the floor i realized fast this family was nothing like the
37:43last one they never forced me to do anything there were no chokers no red lights no punishments
37:50for things i hadn't done i grew learned to crawl to talk and when i was three mom made a
37:58stew with
37:58celery the green stalks in the bowl triggered me i flashed back to choking throat swelling vomiting blood
38:05i stumbled backwards shaking tears came without permission mom immediately put down her spoon crouched
38:13pulled me into a hug grace what's wrong you don't like celery i couldn't speak just shook my head sobbing
38:21dad knelt too rubbed my back hey it's okay you don't have to eat it can you tell us why
38:28their eyes were
38:29so patient gentle finally i choked out it hurts my throat makes me bleed they didn't say the verity
38:39choker doesn't lie they didn't accuse me of faking they took me to the pack healer immediately turns out
38:45i really do have a celery allergy after that celery never appeared in the house again mom added it to
38:52her market list grace's allergies celery she checked every time she shopped i lay in her arms that night
39:00smelling wildflowers and realized this is what it feels like to be believed love isn't measured by a
39:07stone it's listening even when the story sounds impossible when i was four dad took me to the pacular
39:14for my first health check there was a blood draw i saw the needle and lost it flashes of the
39:20choker
39:20tightening around my throat flashes of starvation i screamed clung to dad's leg the healer sighed
39:27i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying dad immediately scooped me up sorry she's
39:35not ready we'll come back another time on the walk home dad didn't scold me for being weak he just
39:41asked
39:41gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his shoulder tears soaking his shirt
39:49mom joker red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded it's okay dad's here now
40:01no one's ever hurting you again from then on they took me to the pack healer regularly not for blood
40:07draws just to talk she has been hurt be patient with her my parents never complained never made me feel
40:14like a burden they bought me a colorful necklace but never forced me to wear it this is just a
40:19pretty
40:20thing grace wear it if you want take it off if you don't we'll love you either way slowly i
40:26started to
40:27heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say i'm scared i could say i want
40:35that i didn't
40:36have to worry about my heart racing being proof of a lie i started sharing my stories with them
40:41i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i got praise i was finally just a pup
40:47a normal loved pup
40:52when i turned seven i started at the pack school there was a girl in my class annie sullivan
40:59she looked exactly like emma same eyes but her hair was shorter and she was timid
41:05scared the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks emma's smug grin the green light mocking
41:14me i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down voice barely a whisper i'm annie
41:24do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to please just like i used to
41:30be
41:30i glanced at her neck she wore a simple choker with green gem my stomach turned later i found out
41:38annie's mom was straight to this family demanded honesty locked her in her room without food when
41:44she made mistakes one day annie accidentally knocked over the teacher's ink pot she was trembling too scared
41:51to admit it i saw her face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself at that desk
41:59writing i am a liar over and over i walked over took her hand annie it's okay accidents happen let's
42:10tell the teacher together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars are bad wolves
42:17being honest isn't about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even if you tell the
42:23truth you shouldn't be punished for it if the teacher gets angry i'll stand with you if your
42:29mom gets angry come to my house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had she
42:35confessed
42:35the teacher forgave her told her to be more careful next time from that day on we have been best
42:41friends
42:42i brought annie home to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell didn't punish
42:49little things i told her you don't have to make everyone happy you're allowed to feel things say
42:57things one day annie's mom came to pick her up from school she saw us together and her face twisted
43:04she grabbed annie's hand did you mess up again is grace covering for you annie immediately looked down
43:11silent i stepped in front of her looked at the mom in the eye ma'am annie didn't do anything
43:17wrong
43:18she's a good pup you shouldn't always assume the worst she's scared of you the mom froze looked at
43:28me then at annie's tear-filled eyes her expression softened that night she called my mom thanked her
43:35said i'd opened her eyes over time annie's mom got gentler what you want to do started listening
43:41instead of yelling and annie she blossomed confident happy i watched her laugh freely one day and felt
43:49this warmth in my chest i didn't get saved in my last life i suffered alone in the dark but
43:55this time
43:56i could save someone else i could stop another stella from happening maybe that's the gift my past
44:02life gave me the ability to see pain and to heal it when i was 10 my parents took me
44:08to visit grandma
44:09there was an old oak tree in her yard its branches spread wide casting shade over the whole garden
44:14i sat beneath it watching sunlight filter through the leaves my wolf dozed inside me warm and content
44:21then i saw her an old woman white hair hunched over a walking stick wearing a faded blue dress the
44:28second
44:28i saw her face i froze she looked exactly like rachel my old mother grandma noticed me too walked over
44:36slowly her eyes were hazy but there was something familiar in them something heavy what's your name
44:42child grace she repeated it softly grace that's a beautiful name she reached out like she wanted
44:47to touch my hair then hesitated pulled back like she was afraid of disturbing something sacred my mom
44:53came over studied her mom this is our daughter grace so she was my grandma in this life too over
45:00the next
45:00few days grandma watched me constantly her expression was unreadable one morning she brought me a bowl of
45:06roasted meat grace eat up this used to be your favorite i stared at the bowl in my last life
45:12i wrote in
45:12my dying breath i want to eat mom's roasted meat and here was grandma saying those exact words tears blurred
45:19my vision
45:20this wasn't some distant wish anymore it was real right in front of me i picked up a piece bit
45:26into it tender sweet
45:28perfect grandma smiled a tired guilty smile that night lying in bed with my wolf curled warm inside my chest
45:36i thought about
45:37rachel's last words next life let me wear the choker let me be the liar punish me however you want
45:43just
45:44don't leave me i thought about her final tear the torn journal i didn't hate her anymore hating someone
45:50is like locking yourself in the past chewing on pain forever this life's warmth had already washed away
45:56the bitterness i just felt sad sad that she only understood too late real love was never about stones or
46:03punishment
46:03we stayed for a month then went back home before i left she held my hand grace live well be
46:10happy
46:10her voice was soft but heavy with meaning i nodded you too grandma i watched her walk away and i
46:16felt
46:17nothing no anger no grief the grudges of my past life were like fallen leaves blown away by the wind
46:23i wasn't stella anymore the girl locked in the dark choking on a lie i was grace sterling surrounded by
46:30love
46:30free at 13 i graduated from pack school got into the best academy in the region my parents took me
46:37to
46:37the lake for a picnic to celebrate i stood at the edge of the water wind in my hair the
46:42scent of pine
46:42and cold water on my skin i stretched out my arms feeling the freedom for a moment i saw her
46:49my ghost
46:50self floating desperate to hug someone but passing right through grace what are you thinking dad handed me a
46:57drink i smiled just i'm grateful to be alive to be with you both mom pulled me into a hug
47:03silly girl
47:04we're the lucky ones no one said anything we all just shifted at the same time like we'd done it
47:11a
47:11hundred times before we ran together through the trees through the shallow edge of the lake water
47:16spraying silver around our paws eventually i slowed down turned and threw myself at them we tumbled into the
47:24grass together mom nuzzled her head against mine dad licked the top of my head with lazy affection
47:29i pressed into them both and stayed there breathing hard warm all the way through i looked up at the
47:36sky through the canopy of trees i didn't need to prove i wasn't a liar anymore i didn't need to
47:41fear
47:41a red light i could laugh cry speak freely i had parents who loved me a best friend a healthy
47:48body a bright
47:49future this was the life i died wishing for that night i wrote in my journal not the blood-stained
47:56confessions of my old life this one was full of happiness growth love i wrote today we ran by the
48:04lake mom and dad shifted with me without saying a word we tumbled in the grass like pups i thought
48:09about
48:09my past self that little girl locked in a room choking in the dark desperate to be loved she'd never
48:16believe that i could be this happy mom and dad love me they taught me that honesty isn't something
48:21you punish out of someone it's something you grow with patience and warmth annie is my best friend
48:28now she laughs freely she speaks without flinching grandma is getting older but her eyes are warm when
48:35she looks at me my wolf grows stronger every day with her beside me i feel at ease i don't
48:41hate anyone
48:41anymore i don't cling to the past those painful memories are like paw prints in the mud washed away
48:47by rain but they taught me to cherish every step forward i know my old mom sister and dad got
48:54what
48:54they deserved and i finally broke free i found real freedom i don't want to see them again i don't
49:01want
49:01to relive that life i just want to be gray simple happy loved the lake was beautiful life was beautiful
49:09i closed my journal looked out the window moonlight shimmered on the water through the trees my wolf
49:14stirred softly inside my chest warm steady i smiled this life i finally became who i wanted to be
49:22no red light no starvation no lies just love freedom happiness and those scars from my past they became
49:30part of me proof that i had survived proof that darkness no matter how long it lasts cannot swallow you
49:36whole not if you keep moving toward the light the road ahead is long but i will walk it with
49:42courage
49:42with joy towards something even brighter
Comments