- 8 hours ago
Lucky Luke S01E08 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:04Don't worry cowboy, I'll let you live, but it will be worse, it will be worse because
00:20I'll be all around you, far into the desert, in everything you hear, my name will be there.
00:31In everything you see, my name will be there.
00:37In the whispering wind, my name will be there.
00:41Under each heavy footstep you take, is my name.
00:46My name will be that wall you endlessly run into.
00:55And you'll be afraid cowboy, afraid even of your shadow.
01:01There you go.
01:02There you go.
01:03I'll be afraid of him.
01:11BOOM!
01:13BOOM!
01:14BOOM!
01:24BOOM!
01:48Oh, my God.
02:05lincoln's convoy passed through here not far from where we used to live
02:13you okay i'm doing well why well we're gonna have to face the man who almost killed you
02:18it's more like he's gonna have to face us
02:21okay so here we are i'm being serious and you're acting all tough well of course i am because
02:26we're three against one and together we're stronger i'm so scared something will happen to you
03:15it's the convoy looks like they're boxed in
03:19look at the soldiers on the ground the bodies with the gray and red uniforms are sentinels
03:23the president's personal guard you're obviously blindsided
03:30in everything you hear in everything you see my name will be there
03:37hey analysis of the situation okay
03:42uphill there are shooters hiding in the rocks and downhill the wagons have been blown up
03:46but no cannon fire so either they're out of artillery or they've been sabotaged like that one
03:54did you hear that cracking it's a sharps 59 it's coming from the wagons
04:00there's a sniper keeping the enemy in check with all the sentinels that have fallen
04:03you won't hold that long in other words we need to figure out how to cross a 300 yard open
04:09field
04:09with a bunch of heavily armed trigger happy idiots watching us
04:14yeah we're gonna need a battle plan that's
04:17daring
04:18imprudent
04:19suicidal
04:20stupid then
04:22stupid
04:30stupid
04:44stupid
05:01what sorry but in the odyssey it worked and ulysses hid under the sheep's bellies
05:03no problem
05:04bushes don't walk
05:05what was your idea you drew a blank
05:07true
05:15speed fire
05:19I surrender
05:21no more lives
05:25do you hear me
05:27I surrender
05:29on my weight gesture
05:31does
05:34it's the president
05:40Move it! Hurry up!
05:47Hurry!
05:51Hell of a change for cucks!
05:57They should leave us alone for a while.
06:00Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States, ready to serve.
06:05I'm so happy to see you, Luke. How long has it been?
06:07Almost three years, Mr. President.
06:08That's so funny. I was thinking of old friends and how I should invite them to Washington and pow.
06:13Here we are together under siege in New Mexico. Talk about kismet.
06:16We're not here by chance, Mr. President.
06:18What do you mean?
06:24There's gonna be a coup? Come on, we just won the election! Really, these guys have no patience.
06:28No, but they do have guns, Mr. President. So we're here to rescue you.
06:32Oh, is that why you brought your team?
06:33Now I get it. Between us, the lonesome cowboy, who doesn't wash, talk, or smile.
06:39A bit outdated and cliché, if you know what I mean.
06:41It does make me sad, though.
06:43Are your defenses strong?
06:44Yes. Of course. At least so far.
06:47They attacked us by surprise, but my men fought tooth and nail.
06:50I sent a fire team behind enemy lines to neutralize their cannons.
06:54The mission must have been successful, otherwise they would have wiped us out.
06:57But none of them came back alive.
06:59Ever since then, we've held on.
07:00Did you try to escape?
07:02Of course, but from above, they've got us surrounded on all three sides.
07:05And ever since they've captured our wagon over there, they've closed our rear flank.
07:09Okay, we're surrounded.
07:09However, luckily, we have an excellent sniper to keep the enemy in check.
07:17Me.
07:30I've always been a Wild West man at heart.
07:32I can feel it in my bones.
07:33It awakens something in me.
07:34I feel so much more alive.
07:36And if there's one thing that I've learned so far
07:38is that the river rat needs to come home right now.
07:44The river rat needs to come home right now.
07:47The river rat can't right now?
07:49It's a code.
07:50I sent him to retrieve the ammo off the bodies.
07:53River rat Bambini!
07:54I mean Corporal Bambini!
07:56Come back right away!
07:58Impossible!
07:59What do you mean impossible?
08:00What's wrong with you?
08:02What are you waiting for, Bambini?
08:04For Congress to pass a law against lazy asses!
08:07It's an end!
08:08Look over there.
08:12It must be one of the men I sent to sabotage the cannons over there.
08:22Come on, hurry up!
08:27That's all?
08:27How many are there?
08:2937.
08:31Gotham again.
08:36I lost hope, Sergeant.
08:39Fierce, Mr. President.
08:47I'm the only survivor.
08:49It's as bad as Gettysburg.
08:50It's not a pretty sight.
08:53Permission to resupply and go back and fight, Mr. President.
08:56All their cannons are destroyed, but they still have shooters.
08:58Nice work, Sergeant.
08:59Three.
09:00Come on.
09:01Hey, on the other side of the lines.
09:03Did you see where the enemy was hiding?
09:05Yeah.
09:06Why?
09:07Because we're going to need you.
09:15Well, we don't have enough bullets to hold them off.
09:17Oh, well, Bambini can always go and find some.
09:19That won't help in the long run.
09:22Mr. President, we have to attempt a breakout.
09:24You want us to flee?
09:25Like Southerners?
09:26I don't take sides, Mr. President.
09:28I take action.
09:30This is the rallying point.
09:32We are in the middle.
09:34The enemy is here and here.
09:37Because you already eliminated 23 of their men, they will have to redeploy.
09:41He's right.
09:42Thanks to the President's sharp shooting on their left flank, they all rallied here and found shelter on the higher
09:47ground.
09:49Which means that by crossing both of their firing angles...
09:56Now there's a blind spot.
09:58But the last ten yards before the rallying point is exposed to rain.
10:02Which means we'll die.
10:05Unless, of course, we could cover our entire bodies with metal plates.
10:09Look at these.
10:09They put a bunch of these all over the wagons.
10:12We'll slide these under our clothes to protect us.
10:14We're going to destroy them.
10:17Mr. President, with all due respect to you, I honestly doubt that...
10:21Well, if push comes to shove, it fails.
10:22We run away.
10:23Z wins.
10:24The system collapses.
10:25She kills people and makes Bambini her toy.
10:27Wait, what?
10:28No, why would I become a toy?
10:30And as for me, I'll fect my own death.
10:32Then I'll come join your little team.
10:34Then, all together, we can go to the plains of South Dakota.
10:38Just a bunch of outlaws hunting outlaws, tracking men and rewards.
10:41The renegades.
10:43Okay.
10:44Or we evacuate in two separate groups.
10:46You three, go with Pierce and Bambini to find reinforcements.
10:49They've already crossed enemy lines, they'll be able to guide you.
10:51The men and I, we'll create a diversion to fool them.
10:54They'll concentrate their gunfire on us, so you can escape.
10:56We'll hold them for as long as necessary.
11:01Let's go.
11:14You can't stay here.
11:16I mean, we need you.
11:17With us.
11:19Right now, they need my help here.
11:20What if something goes wrong?
11:25I've got things to tell you.
11:27One more reason to save the country and its freedom of speech.
11:31Eh?
11:34Don't worry.
11:45You'll take care of the girls?
11:47I mean, all of them.
11:50Everyone.
12:04Hey, you okay?
12:06No.
12:09For courage.
12:17Mr. President, would you like some?
12:21Just a second.
12:23Can I try?
12:33I know that smell.
12:34And I know you.
12:36It's chloroform.
12:38It's chloro-what?
12:42What the hell's going on, Pierce?
12:43That's not Pierce.
12:45He took the uniform off his dead body.
12:48But he forgot this little detail.
12:52The red badge of courage.
12:54It's for those who fought in Pittsburgh.
12:56Except he couldn't have been there.
12:58It happened on the same day as the worst battle he ever saw.
13:01Gettysburg.
13:02Almost 200 miles from Pittsburgh.
13:05Sentinels!
13:06I did not.
13:10I did not.
13:22I did not.
13:29I did not.
13:36I don't know.
14:13I don't know.
14:52I've been waiting for your signal.
15:22I've been waiting for your signal.
15:53I've been waiting for your signal.
16:18I put you all the way over here so you can enjoy the scent of the pine trees.
16:23It's impressive how smells can bring back memories.
16:26As I recall, we're not far away.
16:29It's like coming home.
16:31You can smell gunpowder, fear, blood.
16:44Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you.
16:47So, look at the one who spared your life, when he could have easily killed you instead.
17:21It's time for you to sign.
17:22You're fine, Lincoln.
17:23Eight letters, one period, and it's over.
17:33You really think I'm going to hand you over New Mexico?
17:35Yes, and in all legality.
17:37A first step in renewing the United States.
17:39We're plunging into chaos?
17:41How dare you mention chaos.
17:42When you've destroyed all our values, you promised everything to the people, including freedom
17:47to all, freedom to speak, think, and own land.
17:49That's not what the people need.
17:51All they need is order and rules to follow, to know where their place is.
17:54So I'll make sure it all gets restored.
17:56I'll empathy and progress, even your pathetic abolition.
17:59I'll dismantle everything.
18:00Yeah, great fantasy you've got there.
18:03How many men do you have left?
18:05Four.
18:07That's the exact number of times I'll politely ask.
18:09And I politely ask you to fuck off now.
18:16One down, and next will be your private, and I'll rip his eyes out.
18:20After that, your corporal.
18:21Not her toy.
18:23Not her toy.
18:38I'll sign.
18:43I'll sign.
18:57I'll sign.
18:58This is bad.
19:20Why are you smiling?
19:21I just located my finger.
19:23And that makes you smile?
19:26Yeah, it's the right one.
19:34Thank you for such a presidential gesture.
19:36And God bless America.
19:37My dad will bless your America.
19:41Maybe you should ask him for me.
20:05Long live the state of New New Mexico!
20:10This is the start of a new era.
20:14Finally, we have obtained what we wanted.
20:20Go, go, go!
20:21Please!
20:26The Declaration!
20:28Chase stole my Declaration!
20:32Come on, guys!
20:33I said shit!
20:38Go, go, go, go!
20:40Go, go, go!
20:47Go!
20:48Your daughter's got courage.
20:50He didn't raise her so badly after all.
20:52It almost pains me to have to do this.
20:56Damn it!
21:03You have to save our Louise.
21:27I'm sorry.
21:52Oh
22:37Mr. President!
22:43Wow!
22:44Now that's what you call protection!
23:15I'm gonna kill you!
23:17I'm gonna kill you!
23:40I'm gonna kill you!
23:43Help!
23:44Help!
23:45I'm gonna kill you!
24:13I'm gonna kill you!
24:31I'm gonna kill you!
24:40I'm gonna kill you!
24:56I'm gonna kill you!
25:01You won't be able to save her!
25:02Yes, you will!
25:04Shoot!
25:18Do you hear it coming, Luke?
25:23The miracle?
25:26It's that special moment when lightning strikes the same place where it did before.
25:34Today's second lesson is in the west.
25:37If someone wears sleeves, it's not because they're cold.
25:40It's to hide the cards.
25:52Do you see Luke?
25:53He's a cheater!
25:54He's a cheater!
25:54That's what makes him quicker!
25:55He's a cheater!
26:15He's a cheater!
26:22He's a cheater!
26:46He's a cheater!
26:52Oh, my God.
27:48I told you I'd kill you.
28:09I wanted to know what it felt like to be the real calamity.
28:39Oh, my God.
28:42One of the most remarkable figures, a true hero from the Wild West, someone who, I must
28:48admit, I've always been a fan of, the one and only Calamity Jane.
29:09Mr. President, this is an honor.
29:14Excuse me.
29:15Sorry.
29:15Do you mind holding this for me, please?
29:19What are you doing here?
29:20Oh, well, I'm here with Mrs. Jane for her book.
29:23What do you mean?
29:23She didn't mention it?
29:25We're relaunching the franchise as a photo note.
29:27Calamity Jane, Volume 3.
29:28The title's mine.
29:30Real feats caught in the act.
29:31There's action and emotion, 100% authentic.
29:33She told me the whole story.
29:35Like, earlier in the forest, when she took on 32 desperados before saving you all?
29:39Thank goodness she was there.
29:44Well, then, um, did she save us to save us or for her book then?
29:50Muybridge.
29:51Photograph.
29:53Find your places, please.
29:55Are you ready, Mr. President?
29:59Stand still.
30:24That was really super intense.
30:27We said a lot of things.
30:31When we avoided saying a lot of things.
30:35This means you'll be leaving, am I right?
30:39Come on, Muybridge.
30:40We're out of here.
30:41I've got work to do.
30:42Coming, coming.
30:43Joe's on the run again.
30:44He robbed Marshall City.
30:46You know him.
30:47While he was playing Marshall protecting the bank, he ended up robbing the bank.
30:54Okay.
30:54I think I have everything.
30:56Nope.
30:57Hold on.
30:57I'm sorry.
30:58Miss over there.
30:59What's your name?
31:01Me?
31:02Yes, you.
31:03What's your name?
31:04It's for the book.
31:05Your name is Luis.
31:07I'm Luis.
31:09I'm Luis.
31:09I'm Luis.
31:10I'm Luis.
31:29I'm Luis.
31:29I'm Luis.
31:36I'm Luis.
31:38I'm Luis.
31:40I'm Luis.
31:45I'm Luis.
31:51I'm Luis.
31:54I'm Luis.
32:14On three.
32:16One, two.
32:35One, two.
32:38One, two.
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