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00:00:15¡SuscrÃbete al canal!
00:00:31Thousands of people were killed in this attack
00:00:34And we weren't prepared for that
00:00:36We weren't prepared as human beings
00:00:39We're not even talking about professions
00:00:41I didn't feel too much in control
00:00:43Like I was when I was doing an investigation
00:00:47I felt more like I was just trying to survive the day
00:00:51You find out what you're really made of
00:00:53You find out what it is to be a team player
00:00:56You find out who your partner is
00:00:59You find out how important life is
00:01:02I think half the city knew somebody
00:01:05Or had a relative who died in the Trade Center
00:01:07But you know, time has gone by
00:01:09Some people now, they haven't experienced something like that
00:01:13They haven't seen what it's like when tragedy really hits
00:01:17And the whole city came together
00:01:21Didn't matter what background, what nationality you were
00:01:25We were all humans that day
00:01:2925 years later
00:01:32That will always be the date that divides my life
00:01:35The world that existed on September 10th, that's gone
00:01:39It led into 20 years of warfare
00:01:44My whole world was changed
00:01:47The whole world was changed
00:01:55Our job is to make sure you can go home and sleep at night
00:02:00It's so important for a family to know who murdered their relative
00:02:05Compassion for the victims
00:02:07That's the most important thing
00:02:09I've always liked the peek behind the curtain
00:02:12What really happened?
00:02:15You want to find out the truth
00:02:17That's what detectives do
00:02:19Your instinct is to help people
00:02:23In New York City, the NYPD
00:02:29This is it
00:02:45It was the most amazing thing looking at the towers from down below
00:02:49You know, especially as a kid
00:02:50And you just go like this
00:02:52And it just keeps going and going
00:02:54Like a stairway to heaven
00:02:57My aunt Joanne, she worked in the World Trade Center
00:03:01She worked in the North Tower
00:03:03103rd floor
00:03:03And then also the 105th floor
00:03:06She was working for Canada Fitzgerald
00:03:08A brokerage firm
00:03:09She started working there when she was 18
00:03:11She ended up becoming vice president
00:03:14Partner
00:03:16So Joanne
00:03:17She was my aunt, but she was more like my sister
00:03:20Always took care of me
00:03:21Made sure I wasn't getting into trouble
00:03:23She was only 13 years older than me
00:03:26When she first started working there
00:03:28She brought me to the Trade Center for the first time
00:03:32And as a 5-year-old, you know
00:03:34You get excited about things that you've never seen before
00:03:38And here I am, getting on the elevator
00:03:40And it was like a rocket ship
00:03:44You're up there within a couple of minutes
00:03:46A hundred somewhat stories
00:03:49Your ears are popping
00:03:50You get out
00:03:51And once you stepped up near the windows
00:03:53It was actually kind of like, ooh
00:03:55It was a long way down
00:03:59110 floors in each tower
00:04:01It could be upwards of 50,000 people on any given day
00:04:05The buildings had their own zip code
00:04:08That's something that
00:04:09Just think that
00:04:11Wherever you live in the United States
00:04:12There's an area that has a zip code
00:04:15And these two buildings had their own zip code
00:04:16They had designed it to withstand high winds
00:04:22Storms, lightning strikes
00:04:23Planes hitting it
00:04:25It was perceived to be somewhat indestructible
00:04:30A bomb killed five and injured more than 1,000 others
00:04:34In the blast that rocked the World Trade Center
00:04:36And sent lower Manhattan into a state of complete chaos
00:04:39February of 1993, there was a terrorist attack
00:04:44International terrorists put explosives into a van
00:04:47And parked it into a, you know, subterranean garage
00:04:50It blew up, but the damage was so minimal
00:04:54Someone near me was saying
00:04:56Man, these towers are amazing
00:04:57They can withstand this huge blast
00:05:00I can't believe it
00:05:02I never really thought that the Twin Towers were a target of international terrorists until that day
00:05:09And then I realized that they were a symbol of strength
00:05:12They were a symbol of pride
00:05:14Something that, you know, when you flew across the Atlantic Ocean
00:05:19You could see the Twin Towers
00:05:22The following year, they put up cement guards
00:05:26So that nobody could get close with a truck
00:05:30Or a car filled with any kind of explosive device
00:05:35Then you felt like, okay, this won't happen again
00:05:46It was a Tuesday
00:05:50Beautiful weather
00:05:53I don't remember seeing a cloud in the sky
00:05:57And I had to go to court
00:05:59I was in the anti-crime unit
00:06:01I was going to trial for a pickpocket case
00:06:04So I would travel in by ferry
00:06:08I got off the boat on to Manhattan
00:06:11So I started walking towards the train station
00:06:14As I'm walking, only steps away from the ferry
00:06:18I hear a bunch of explosions
00:06:23Sounded like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
00:06:25And I actually said, what the fuck was that?
00:06:29But I continue to walk
00:06:31And I get onto the subway
00:06:32Towards the courthouses
00:06:34I had to be there at 9 o'clock
00:06:38I woke up in the detective's dorm
00:06:40In the 13th precinct
00:06:42In the police department
00:06:43Sometimes you don't go home for a couple of days
00:06:47I signed in
00:06:48And I remember it was ABC News
00:06:50Was on
00:06:51And I saw that the Twin Towers
00:06:55Had been struck by a plane
00:06:57It sounded like a missile
00:06:59Not an airplane
00:07:00Then there was a loud explosion
00:07:04Dispatcher called me
00:07:05And says there's a small Cessna
00:07:08That just crashed into the World Trade Center
00:07:10And I can see from the West Side Highway
00:07:14That that was not a small Cessna
00:07:16That was a big-ass jet
00:07:19I went into my police mode
00:07:27I knew that something like that
00:07:29It was going to be a mass casualty incident
00:07:33I had just dropped my kids off at PS116
00:07:36My two boys
00:07:37When I heard it come over the radio
00:07:39A major disaster is occurring in New York City this morning
00:07:44Being a detective commander in Manhattan
00:07:48Probably the only one in the NYPD
00:07:49That lived in Manhattan
00:07:50I knew I would be expected to respond
00:07:53So I went home and changed
00:07:55Probably one of the few people
00:07:56That put a suit on
00:07:57To go respond to the World Trade Center
00:07:59Because I got in trouble in May
00:08:01Responding to a triple homicide
00:08:02Not wearing a suit
00:08:07I'm in the 19th precinct
00:08:08In the patrol borough of Manhattan North
00:08:11This one was off the charts
00:08:13So they will mobilize people
00:08:15Across New York City
00:08:17To respond to the Trade Center
00:08:21I was a police officer
00:08:22In the 19th with Pete Panuccio
00:08:26The desk is calling for the first one in eight mobilization
00:08:31Eight officers with a sergeant
00:08:38Joanne Dowd was with the first group of cops in the 19th precinct
00:08:41That left in a van
00:08:44All of us were supposed to meet at church in Vesey
00:08:47I was there with the lieutenant
00:08:49I says let's just grab a car
00:08:51We'll go down there
00:08:57I'm on the train
00:08:59I get off at the municipal building
00:09:01Which you always see like on law and order
00:09:04And as I'm walking towards those iconic pillars
00:09:07Everybody's just like looking up
00:09:12My eyes go to what they're looking at
00:09:16And I see that big gaping hole in the North Tower
00:09:20Those towers were huge
00:09:23Tens of thousands of people in each building every day
00:09:25I know so many people up there
00:09:29Immediately I call 212-938-5029
00:09:33Joanne's office number
00:09:35And I hear beep, beep, beep
00:09:38It wasn't the typical busy sound
00:09:40It's like an out of service type of beep tone
00:09:45It's 9 o'clock, she should be at work
00:09:47Now I'm like oh shit
00:09:50We gotta get over that
00:09:52All of a sudden
00:09:55That first sound that I thought I heard echo in
00:09:59I hear it
00:10:01Without the echo
00:10:02It was a big explosion
00:10:04Boom
00:10:07Then I literally hit the pavement
00:10:11It was a second fucking plane
00:10:18We're on the 78th floor of the South Tower
00:10:21The only reason I'm sitting here right now
00:10:23Is because we were standing
00:10:24On the other side of the building
00:10:26From where the plane came in
00:10:32I wound up face down on the floor
00:10:34And I had no idea why
00:10:37Everything went dark
00:10:41There's people crying and screaming
00:10:45There was a woman next to me
00:10:46Who I knew pushed her a little bit
00:10:48And I said are you okay, are you okay
00:10:51And I didn't get any response
00:10:52So I knew that she was gone
00:10:54And there's dead people laying all over the place
00:10:57There's a very ugly chaotic scene
00:10:59And nobody knew what was going on
00:11:03The homicide squad
00:11:04Along with everybody else
00:11:06Was involved in an emergency mobilization
00:11:08Down to that area
00:11:11Two of my partners and I
00:11:12We were driving lights and sirens
00:11:15From the 13th precinct
00:11:17The next thing we knew
00:11:19There was smoke building out of the South Tower
00:11:21Then you realize that something hit the other tower
00:11:28Oh my goodness
00:11:29Oh god
00:11:30There's another one
00:11:31Oh my god
00:11:32My goodness
00:11:35We all looked at each other in the car
00:11:37And said uh
00:11:38This is no fucking accident
00:11:44First thing that popped into my head
00:11:46Is my wife
00:11:48She was working for a company
00:11:49Called Solomon Smith Barney
00:11:51I knew she was in the city
00:11:53I also knew that
00:11:54She had a client core
00:11:56That was in one of the
00:11:57Trade center buildings
00:11:59And I knew that she often
00:12:01Spent time there
00:12:03So I was
00:12:04Consumed by that
00:12:07I had a cell phone
00:12:08Which was you know
00:12:08Like an old fucking flip phone
00:12:10Like a
00:12:10Star attack
00:12:11Or whatever they were called
00:12:12And I remembered
00:12:14Trying to call her at work
00:12:16Trying to call her cell phone
00:12:18And um
00:12:19I couldn't get through
00:12:20It was just dead air
00:12:22There was just like
00:12:23No signal
00:12:24No nothing
00:12:28It was mayhem
00:12:30In the city
00:12:32People are
00:12:33Abandoning their vehicles
00:12:35In the middle of
00:12:36Intersections
00:12:37Forget about the damn car
00:12:39Let's go
00:12:40We are now trying to get to
00:12:43Where we're supposed to be
00:12:44Which is church in Vesti
00:12:46And we got to
00:12:48The middle of Maiden Lane
00:12:50And we couldn't move
00:12:52We left the van
00:12:54And we got out
00:12:56And we start running
00:12:57Towards the World Trade Center
00:13:02And as we're approaching
00:13:04The towers
00:13:05We look up
00:13:07And people are hanging out
00:13:10On the girders
00:13:13And black smoke is billowing out
00:13:16People are sending notes down
00:13:19Help me
00:13:21I'm on this floor
00:13:22Or that floor
00:13:24It's
00:13:25It's
00:13:25You're like
00:13:29Just beyond
00:13:31Belief
00:13:33And your sergeant
00:13:34Is going
00:13:34Let's go
00:13:35Keep moving
00:13:35Let's just keep moving
00:13:37We have to get to where
00:13:38We have to go
00:13:39And they will
00:13:40Tell us what we have to do
00:13:45The fire that was happening
00:13:47On the 78th floor
00:13:47Was unbelievable
00:13:51You could hear
00:13:52All this cracking noise
00:13:53And you really didn't know
00:13:54What was going on
00:13:54But the fire just kept
00:13:55Getting worse and worse
00:13:57Something from the ceiling
00:13:58Came down next to my head
00:14:01And I go
00:14:02Like
00:14:02You've got to get out of here
00:14:04I've got to get up
00:14:04Thinking to myself
00:14:06I'm on the 78th floor
00:14:07Of a building that's on fire
00:14:08And I don't know
00:14:09How to get out of here
00:14:12Your instinct is to help
00:14:14These people
00:14:15Who are running at you
00:14:17So I went to go
00:14:20And my sergeant
00:14:22Grabbed me
00:14:22By the nape of the neck
00:14:24And pulled me back
00:14:26And somebody jumped
00:14:29And landed in front of me
00:14:34And killed somebody
00:14:35In front of me
00:14:38It was brutal
00:14:40Brutal to watch
00:14:43That there was nothing
00:14:44We could do
00:14:48It's not the image
00:14:49As much as
00:14:51It is the sound
00:14:56Sorry
00:15:05When a body
00:15:06Falls
00:15:08From that great height
00:15:11It sounds like
00:15:12Broken glass
00:15:17And it is brutalized
00:15:27I'm a New York City
00:15:28Homicide detective
00:15:29So I've seen death
00:15:32Horrific murder scenes
00:15:33Violence
00:15:34Things like that
00:15:37One of the most
00:15:38Disturbing things
00:15:39That always stayed with me
00:15:40Always stuck with me
00:15:41Is
00:15:43Just the fact that
00:15:44These poor people
00:15:45Would rather jump to their death
00:15:47Than burn alive
00:15:50It's not much of an option
00:15:57When I was on the 78th floor
00:16:00I thought to myself
00:16:01I have two boys
00:16:02Who need me
00:16:03But I don't know how to get out of here
00:16:05Because there's just too much debris
00:16:06And you definitely feel the heat
00:16:09I ran into two women
00:16:11And these two guys came over
00:16:13And we found an empty stairwell
00:16:15We got to about the 75th floor
00:16:18And there was two New York City firemen
00:16:21Who were coming up the stairs
00:16:23They both had big tanks on their back
00:16:25They were laden with all this kind of equipment
00:16:27And we said
00:16:28You've got to get up to 78
00:16:29Because it's really bad
00:16:30And I remember these guys saying to us
00:16:32Don't worry about us
00:16:34Just worry about yourselves
00:16:36Get out of here
00:16:36We'll take care of what's going on in 78
00:16:38And it was really kind of an eye opener
00:16:41To how people think
00:16:42And how first responders
00:16:43Really respond to situations like that
00:16:49The lower Manhattan precincts
00:16:51Were already in the buildings
00:16:53Removing people
00:16:55All the upper Manhattan precincts
00:16:58Were with us
00:16:59We moved to Park Place
00:17:01About a half a block up
00:17:03From the World Trade Center
00:17:04And they start to assign
00:17:06Four to a floor
00:17:08To assist in the evacuation
00:17:12Going down
00:17:13We did encounter some debris
00:17:17That we managed to climb over
00:17:18To get to the 40th floor
00:17:22And there was a police officer
00:17:23In that elevator
00:17:25Saying get in here
00:17:26Get in here
00:17:27I'll get you out of here
00:17:29We got down to the first floor
00:17:31And the first floor
00:17:32Was just nothing but dust
00:17:33And stuff all over the place
00:17:35It was just amazing
00:17:35You could already see anything
00:17:37In front of me
00:17:39We walked out the door
00:17:42I really didn't understand
00:17:43What was going on
00:17:45The best word to describe
00:17:46Any of this was chaotic
00:17:49From a triage standpoint
00:17:51I guess
00:17:52I looked as bad as anybody
00:17:53So an officer came along
00:17:55And grabbed me
00:17:56And I didn't know her
00:17:57I didn't know anything about her
00:17:59All I knew was that
00:17:59Somebody was helping me out
00:18:01And then somebody
00:18:02Was taking my photograph
00:18:05The police officer took me over
00:18:06To sit me down
00:18:07Over on the sidewalk
00:18:08And that's when
00:18:08They took me to the ambulance
00:18:11And then
00:18:12She just went back
00:18:13Into the building
00:18:21I drive down
00:18:22To the World Trade Center
00:18:25When I first show up
00:18:27At the scene
00:18:27There's a plane engine
00:18:29In the middle of the street
00:18:29And I thought
00:18:31I'd try to pull
00:18:32A serial number off it
00:18:33Help identify the airplane
00:18:35Quite frankly
00:18:37Under the stress
00:18:38I kind of flipped
00:18:39Into detective mode
00:18:40When I should have
00:18:41Flipped into boss mode
00:18:43I kind of had to
00:18:44Snap myself out
00:18:45Of the situation
00:18:46And I walk over
00:18:48To a temporary headquarters
00:18:50That is across the street
00:18:52From the south tower
00:18:53To make a call
00:18:54To my higher headquarters
00:19:00I'm almost to the
00:19:01World Trade Center
00:19:02I'm standing there
00:19:03By myself
00:19:05I'm like
00:19:05What do I do?
00:19:08We never trained
00:19:09For this in the police academy
00:19:10They never taught us
00:19:11With this
00:19:12I'm 27 years old
00:19:15I'm 28
00:19:15One of the two
00:19:17And I'm still
00:19:18Relatively a young kid
00:19:19At the time
00:19:21What do I do?
00:19:22I'm like
00:19:22How the fuck
00:19:23Am I getting up there
00:19:24To get her out of there?
00:19:28Since I was young
00:19:29Joanne was always there
00:19:32She was proud of my career
00:19:34She was there
00:19:35When I graduated
00:19:35The police academy
00:19:37When I brought my first house
00:19:39She lent me
00:19:393,000 bucks
00:19:42I could always count on her
00:19:44Now
00:19:45How the hell
00:19:46Am I going to help her?
00:19:50You know
00:19:50I was looking
00:19:51For that guidance
00:19:55Eventually
00:19:55I run into my lieutenant
00:19:57At the time
00:19:59I'm walking south
00:20:00So we're in front
00:20:01Of the Verizon building
00:20:02And I'm hearing this rumbling
00:20:11The cell phones
00:20:12Are not working
00:20:13I'm talking on a landline
00:20:15The phone starts shaking
00:20:17And going across the table
00:20:19And I'm thinking
00:20:21It's the subway system
00:20:23I felt the ground move
00:20:25The rumble got bigger
00:20:29We thought it was an explosion
00:20:30It was that loud
00:20:32But it was like rolling
00:20:34Like a rolling loud sound
00:20:38It was like
00:20:43And I'll see
00:20:44I'm like the 30th floor down
00:20:57A couple blocks
00:20:58From the trade center
00:20:59I just saw
00:21:01White smoke billowing
00:21:03From where the south tower was
00:21:08And it was coming
00:21:10Right towards my partner
00:21:12And I
00:21:12At a rapid pace
00:21:16Two of us instinctively
00:21:17Just looked at each other
00:21:19And started as
00:21:20We call it
00:21:21Assholes and elbows
00:21:22And we were
00:21:23Hightailing it
00:21:24To safety
00:21:24Inside
00:21:25Sims department store
00:21:26And my lieutenant
00:21:28At that very moment
00:21:29Says
00:21:30Fucking run
00:21:38And then all of the cops
00:21:41Who were with me
00:21:42Lining up
00:21:43To assist in the evacuation
00:21:46Were coming at me
00:21:47Like a herd of bulls
00:21:49And I face planted
00:21:52Into the sidewalk
00:21:53And they proceeded
00:21:55To run on me
00:21:59And I mean
00:22:00You can't blame them
00:22:01I guess
00:22:03Although I was pissed
00:22:05I heard my knee pop
00:22:07My back pop
00:22:09I was in pain
00:22:11Immediately
00:22:13And I was
00:22:15Literally
00:22:16Crucified
00:22:17To the sidewalk
00:22:20I couldn't move
00:22:23And two guys
00:22:24From the 23rd precinct
00:22:27Who I never got their name
00:22:29Same thing happened to them
00:22:31They were like
00:22:32Can you walk
00:22:33I was like
00:22:33I could run
00:22:34Let's go
00:22:35Come on
00:22:36You guys
00:22:37We tried to get ahead
00:22:39Of the debris
00:22:39But we couldn't
00:22:41So we just whipped
00:22:43Onto Broadway
00:22:45And knelt down
00:22:47And tried to cover
00:22:48As best we could
00:22:54We're trying to get in
00:22:55To seven world trade
00:22:57Which is directly north
00:22:59Of the actual
00:22:59Twin towers themselves
00:23:01That looked like
00:23:02The safest shelter
00:23:03We could find
00:23:06The doors were locked
00:23:08I was actually
00:23:09Going to pull my gun out
00:23:10And start shooting the glass
00:23:12I did not want to be
00:23:13Caught on the street
00:23:16Somebody pushes the door open
00:23:17From inside
00:23:19Screaming
00:23:20Get in here
00:23:20Get in here
00:23:22We ran in
00:23:23You're in
00:23:24Basically a glass atrium
00:23:25Two, three stories high
00:23:28The glass is breaking
00:23:30Inside
00:23:31You know
00:23:31The front lobby
00:23:32And the place
00:23:33Just instantly
00:23:34Fills with dirt
00:23:35And dust
00:23:39That really
00:23:41Was truly
00:23:42The most terrifying
00:23:43Moment of my life
00:23:45And I've been in some
00:23:47Couple of hairy things
00:23:48Over the course
00:23:49Of my career
00:23:51But all of a sudden
00:23:52You get this realization
00:23:53That
00:23:55I'm gonna die here
00:24:03It seems like
00:24:05Some things slow down
00:24:06While other things speed up
00:24:07It's amazing what the brain
00:24:09Can process
00:24:11Not an overly religious person
00:24:14But if you think
00:24:15You're gonna die
00:24:15Better square your shit away
00:24:17Real fast
00:24:18And that's what
00:24:19I'm like
00:24:20This is God
00:24:23I was 14 years sober
00:24:24At that time
00:24:27And the thing
00:24:28That popped in my head
00:24:29Was
00:24:29You know what God
00:24:30Thank you for the last
00:24:3114 years
00:24:34Take care of my family
00:24:37And I'm like
00:24:37This is it
00:24:39You gotta ride this out
00:24:42The building I'm in
00:24:44Starts filling up
00:24:45With what I think
00:24:46Is smoke
00:24:47And I remember
00:24:49From early on
00:24:50In elementary school
00:24:51That when dealing
00:24:53With smoke
00:24:53You're supposed to get
00:24:54On your hands
00:24:54And knees
00:24:54And crawl
00:24:55Except this smoke
00:24:57Is loaded
00:24:59On the lower end
00:25:01And thinner
00:25:02On the high end
00:25:03And it has me
00:25:04Very confused
00:25:05And questioning
00:25:08Everything I learned
00:25:09From Sister Elizabeth
00:25:10At Our Lady of Snows
00:25:11In 1968
00:25:15It's God
00:25:16It's the whole power
00:25:17It's God
00:25:18Holy God
00:25:23In several world trade
00:25:25We didn't get hit
00:25:26With anything
00:25:27No major debris
00:25:29You're not dead
00:25:31Get to work
00:25:33Be useful
00:25:36You can barely see
00:25:38Inside this building
00:25:39I have some crappy
00:25:40Little flashlight
00:25:41With me
00:25:42And I hear people
00:25:43Yelling up the escalator
00:25:45So I go up there
00:25:46And I'm the only guy
00:25:48In uniform there
00:25:49And this guy
00:25:50Is like
00:25:50He's building
00:25:51I don't know if he was
00:25:52A fire marshal
00:25:53Or a security guard
00:25:54He goes
00:25:55Oh thank God
00:25:55The cops are here
00:25:57I'm like
00:26:00Yeah the cavalry's arrived
00:26:01And it's me
00:26:02And that's not much
00:26:06South tower's collapsed
00:26:08Now we gotta regroup
00:26:10We start walking
00:26:12Towards the north tower
00:26:15I see all the firemen
00:26:20They're pouring water
00:26:21Into their eyes
00:26:23They're crying
00:26:28There's regular civilians
00:26:30Who happened to
00:26:31Escape the building
00:26:33One guy
00:26:34I remember
00:26:34Grabbed him
00:26:34I gave him a big hug
00:26:36Grown ass man
00:26:37Much older than me
00:26:38Probably in his 40s
00:26:40And he's crying
00:26:41And
00:26:43Again
00:26:44Shock
00:26:45I'm in it
00:26:46I said
00:26:47It's gonna be alright
00:26:47It's gonna be alright
00:26:51The dust settled
00:26:53And we went to
00:26:55What is now known
00:26:56As ground zero
00:26:57To help expedite
00:26:59Any kind of
00:27:00Evacuation
00:27:03And when we got there
00:27:05It was just not there
00:27:08There was a shard
00:27:10Of the building
00:27:11In the middle
00:27:13Of church
00:27:14And Bessie
00:27:17The south tower
00:27:19Even though it's hit second
00:27:21Comes down first
00:27:22Because it was hit
00:27:23At a lower level
00:27:24Which compromised
00:27:25The strength
00:27:26In the building more
00:27:29After the 93
00:27:31Bombing of the
00:27:32World Trade Center
00:27:33We received training
00:27:34That a plane
00:27:35Could not knock down
00:27:36The tower
00:27:37From the sheer force
00:27:39But now I'm willing
00:27:40To change my thought process
00:27:42Get out of the area
00:27:43The second tower
00:27:44Is coming down
00:27:45They tell you
00:27:45The second tower
00:27:46Is coming down
00:27:46Yes
00:27:46It's about to come down
00:27:47We lined up
00:27:48A bunch of police officers
00:27:49To keep everybody
00:27:51Further away
00:27:51From the building
00:27:52Because it was obvious
00:27:53To me that the second
00:27:54Building was gonna come down
00:27:55We're going
00:27:56We're going
00:27:56We're going
00:27:57We're going
00:27:57I see a bunch
00:27:58Of EMS
00:28:00I'm like
00:28:00Dude what are you doing
00:28:01He was like
00:28:02We're gonna go back
00:28:03Into the building
00:28:03I'm like
00:28:04You're crazy
00:28:06He goes
00:28:06No there's people
00:28:07In there
00:28:07That need to be removed
00:28:09And I felt like
00:28:10A coward
00:28:13That I was gonna walk away
00:28:16So I was like
00:28:17Okay
00:28:17If he's there
00:28:18I'm not gonna have
00:28:19A fireman
00:28:19Embarrass me
00:28:20So I'm gonna stay
00:28:20Move it
00:28:21Come on
00:28:23The north tower
00:28:24Had the antenna
00:28:24On the top
00:28:25And it started to tilt
00:28:28We started to hear noises
00:28:30I know I did
00:28:32It was like creaking
00:28:36And we're two blocks away
00:28:40You hear the rumbling
00:28:43And then that's when
00:28:44The tower starts seeing
00:28:46It fucking drop
00:28:54The tower's coming down
00:28:56Away from it
00:28:58Away from it
00:29:01When that building
00:29:03Was coming down
00:29:04I remember seeing
00:29:06My two boys
00:29:12Etching me on
00:29:14To run as fast as I could
00:29:23And I go hide in a curb
00:29:27All 250 pounds
00:29:29And my fat ass
00:29:30Squeezed into
00:29:32Six inches
00:29:32Of sidewalk
00:29:34To survive this
00:29:37Remembering my
00:29:38Military training
00:29:39I put my feet
00:29:40Towards the explosion
00:29:42There was like
00:29:43Hurricane winds
00:29:45I look to my right
00:29:47And there's a truck
00:29:48On its side
00:29:50And then it becomes
00:29:52Very dark
00:29:56I can't see
00:29:57And everything's
00:29:58Extremely quiet
00:30:02I'm wondering
00:30:03If I'm dead
00:30:05I'm not feeling
00:30:06Any pain
00:30:10And then
00:30:11All of a sudden
00:30:12I could not breathe
00:30:13At all
00:30:14And I have to
00:30:15Take my hands
00:30:17And physically
00:30:18Go in my mouth
00:30:19And rake out
00:30:20Chunks of cement
00:30:23And I'm coughing
00:30:25And I'm on my knees
00:30:26A woman grabbed me
00:30:29She took me over
00:30:30To a fire hydrant
00:30:30Cleaned my eyes out
00:30:32She gives me some water
00:30:34I can still see her face
00:30:37Quite frankly
00:30:38It's one of the more
00:30:38Pleasant moments
00:30:39Of the day
00:30:39Right
00:30:40It's somebody
00:30:40Coming to help me
00:30:41When I was in need
00:30:46I was hopeful
00:30:47That Joanne made it out
00:30:49I was hopeful
00:30:50That the people
00:30:50That she worked with
00:30:51Made it out
00:30:52I was hoping
00:30:54Most people
00:30:54Made it out
00:30:56In a state of shock
00:30:57Like that
00:30:58You're not going to
00:30:59Comprehend
00:31:00The magnitude
00:31:01Of what you're witnessing
00:31:06We're in
00:31:07Sims department store
00:31:08And the people
00:31:09That had been in there
00:31:10Shopping
00:31:10Had looks of panic
00:31:11On their face
00:31:12Alright we got to
00:31:13Get these people
00:31:14Out of here
00:31:14We got to do something
00:31:16Whatever was in that smoke
00:31:17Like my eyes
00:31:18Were burning
00:31:20So we took men's pocket squares
00:31:22That were on a display rack
00:31:24We wet them
00:31:25And we started handing them out
00:31:27Everybody
00:31:27The employees
00:31:28And the people
00:31:28That had been in there
00:31:29We told them to cover
00:31:30Their faces
00:31:31With the pocket squares
00:31:32And trying to avoid
00:31:34Breathing in whatever it was
00:31:39We got everybody single file
00:31:41To walk south
00:31:43Towards the water
00:31:45There were ferries set up
00:31:47And people with private boats
00:31:49And they were taking people
00:31:51To get them off Manhattan
00:31:54Myself and my partners
00:31:55Had no intention of leaving
00:31:56We were like
00:31:58You know
00:31:58What do we do now
00:32:00I couldn't help
00:32:01But think about my wife again
00:32:03And whether she was safe
00:32:04And I decided to try her again
00:32:06On my cell phone
00:32:07And you know
00:32:09Still it was no luck
00:32:10I just
00:32:10I couldn't get through to anybody
00:32:11I had no signal
00:32:12Just could not
00:32:13Make a call
00:32:16There was no communications
00:32:19One tower had the antenna
00:32:21That did most of the broadcasting
00:32:23Most of the cell phones
00:32:24TV, radio
00:32:26So we had no communications
00:32:28With other agencies
00:32:29We do have a point to point
00:32:33Communication
00:32:34With the police department
00:32:35So you can hear
00:32:37Transmissions from each other
00:32:40The command post is
00:32:41North of Vesey Street
00:32:42But nothing else
00:32:46And it is extremely quiet
00:32:51All you can hear
00:32:53Is the fireman's
00:32:54Alarms
00:32:56For their oxygen
00:32:57That they wear on their back
00:32:58Going off
00:33:01And it's ever so quiet
00:33:03But yet deafening
00:33:05In the canyon
00:33:07Of what that area
00:33:09Of Manhattan is
00:33:13One of the things
00:33:14I experienced that day
00:33:16That
00:33:16In looking back
00:33:17In retrospect
00:33:18Was loneliness
00:33:20Being separated
00:33:21From the people
00:33:22I work with
00:33:24For a cop
00:33:24That's thanks
00:33:26In a scene
00:33:27Of such calamity
00:33:31Really
00:33:32It became like
00:33:32Almost an overpowering sense
00:33:35Because you're just
00:33:36Disconnected
00:33:38I says
00:33:38All right
00:33:39Well let me go see
00:33:40If I can find
00:33:40Who I'm supposed
00:33:41To be with
00:33:43I walked past the bar
00:33:45And it's weird
00:33:47Thought popped in my head
00:33:50Nobody would begrudge you
00:33:52If you walked behind the bar
00:33:53And
00:33:55Grabbed that bottle
00:33:56Of Johnny Walker
00:33:57And poured yourself a shot
00:33:59With the disease of alcoholism
00:34:03It's just sitting back there
00:34:05Saying
00:34:06A little toot right here
00:34:07Wouldn't bother you
00:34:08These are the conversations
00:34:10Going up
00:34:10Like my crazy skull
00:34:11And I'm like
00:34:14Not today
00:34:15I got work to do
00:34:17And
00:34:18I'm still sober today
00:34:20I'm coming up
00:34:21On 38 years
00:34:24I was a
00:34:25One star chief
00:34:27In charge of
00:34:28Bronx detectives
00:34:30We go rushing
00:34:31Into the city
00:34:33We got to
00:34:34Trinity and Liberty
00:34:35When the North Tower
00:34:37Collapsed
00:34:38Now
00:34:39Trinity and Liberty
00:34:40I realized
00:34:41There's a Burger King
00:34:42Right on the corner
00:34:43So I just took
00:34:44The opportunity
00:34:45To make
00:34:47The Burger King
00:34:47A temporary headquarters
00:34:50I just started
00:34:51Giving out assignments
00:34:52And we moved out
00:34:54Throughout the day
00:34:56Cops just
00:34:57Ran into the city
00:34:59From Brooklyn
00:35:00From Upper Manhattan
00:35:03It was the only time
00:35:05In my entire career
00:35:06Where
00:35:07I didn't want to go to work
00:35:08I wanted to be home
00:35:10For my family
00:35:12That was my priority
00:35:14But unfortunately
00:35:15I had to put that aside
00:35:16And rush from Queens
00:35:18Into Manhattan
00:35:23I was coming from the Bronx
00:35:25I was coming from the Bronx
00:35:26My car was not working that day
00:35:27And it was crazy
00:35:29Because everything was closed
00:35:30The trains were stopped
00:35:32Everybody was walking back
00:35:34From Manhattan
00:35:34And I tried to hitchhike
00:35:36Into the city
00:35:37But I couldn't get a ride
00:35:39So I took a bus
00:35:40On Lexington Avenue
00:35:40And it was packed
00:35:41And I remember getting off
00:35:43On 21st Street
00:35:44And walking to my precinct
00:35:47So many people that I knew
00:35:49Were missing
00:35:51No one knew where anyone was
00:35:56NYPD started doing
00:35:57Missing person work
00:35:59Civilians
00:36:00First responders
00:36:02Many of us went on a list
00:36:04Of everyone that's missing
00:36:11We're listening
00:36:12For people who are stuck
00:36:14In the building
00:36:15Female officer
00:36:17Where are you?
00:36:18What was your last location?
00:36:20I crawled in and out of caverns
00:36:22Trying to get to
00:36:24Whoever it may be
00:36:26To the point where
00:36:27My shoes were burned
00:36:29And my arms were burned
00:36:35There was a concern about
00:36:36How do we manage
00:36:38The amount of people
00:36:39That are missing
00:36:40How do we verify
00:36:41Whether they're missing
00:36:42How do we know
00:36:43That they're still
00:36:44In the building?
00:36:48I leave the 13th precinct
00:36:50And head south
00:36:51To the World Trade Center area
00:36:54I went to go see
00:36:55If I could find my neighbor
00:36:56Bill McGinn
00:36:57And see if he's okay
00:37:00Before I left my apartment
00:37:01That day
00:37:02Bill's wife
00:37:03Had knocked on my door
00:37:04She said
00:37:05Bill was working
00:37:07She was calling him
00:37:08There was no response
00:37:09I said
00:37:10Listen
00:37:10When I get downtown
00:37:11I'll see if I find him
00:37:14We looked around a little bit
00:37:15I kept asking everybody
00:37:16Hey
00:37:17Anybody see Bill McGinn
00:37:18You know
00:37:18He worked in the firehouse
00:37:19On 10th Street
00:37:21In Greenwich
00:37:21Has anybody seen that company?
00:37:25At one point
00:37:25I asked one fireman
00:37:26He went
00:37:28Like
00:37:28That company is gone
00:37:32I felt so bad
00:37:35His daughter Cordelia
00:37:36Was about six years old
00:37:37And she had come to my house
00:37:39That morning
00:37:40She was playing with my son
00:37:42And at some point
00:37:43She says
00:37:44Oh my God
00:37:44I lost my tooth
00:37:45She lost her first tooth
00:37:46And she says
00:37:47I came to my father
00:37:48Comes home
00:37:48So I can show him
00:37:50Knowing that she wanted
00:37:51To show her father
00:37:52And knowing that
00:37:53Most likely
00:37:54He wasn't going to come home
00:37:55It really kind of like
00:37:56Made me feel really sad
00:38:03We ended up
00:38:04Off the FDR drive
00:38:06By the Manhattan Bridge
00:38:07Somehow
00:38:08I remember
00:38:09Seeing someone
00:38:11Yelling
00:38:11Get back
00:38:12Get back
00:38:13There's a van on the bridge
00:38:15They're going to blow
00:38:16The Manhattan Bridge
00:38:19Panic overcomes everybody
00:38:20Myself
00:38:21My two partners
00:38:22And all the people
00:38:24And I think to myself
00:38:25I'm like
00:38:25What the fuck
00:38:26Are we running for
00:38:29Bomb squad went up
00:38:30And there was
00:38:31No explosives
00:38:32Nothing wrong with the van
00:38:33It just had been abandoned
00:38:34But initially
00:38:36It made sense
00:38:37Because I kept thinking
00:38:38To myself
00:38:39What next
00:38:40We were panicked
00:38:43There were rumors
00:38:44Flying left of it
00:38:46There were
00:38:47Something like
00:38:48Eight planes missing
00:38:50Still I'm accounted for
00:38:52Rumors
00:38:52But then some of these
00:38:54Weren't rumors
00:38:55Find out that the
00:38:56Pentagon got hit
00:38:59Found out
00:39:00A plane crash
00:39:01In Shanksville
00:39:02Pennsylvania
00:39:04With all of these
00:39:05Attacks happening
00:39:06In multiple places
00:39:07We didn't know
00:39:08What these terrorists
00:39:09Had planned
00:39:10We didn't know
00:39:11If they were going to
00:39:12Hit the Empire State
00:39:13Building next
00:39:13We didn't know
00:39:14If the subways
00:39:15Were going to be hit
00:39:16We just knew
00:39:17That today
00:39:18Was the day
00:39:19And it was happening
00:39:20In multiple places
00:39:25As we're proceeding
00:39:26And continuing
00:39:26To help and assist people
00:39:29I still had not
00:39:30Spoken to my wife
00:39:32I make another attempt
00:39:34To call her
00:39:35And eventually
00:39:36I'm able to get through
00:39:37To the person
00:39:38Who we hired for child care
00:39:40I just asked her
00:39:41Had she heard from my wife
00:39:42And
00:39:44She said yes
00:39:45She's on her way
00:39:46She's in New Jersey
00:39:48She was okay
00:39:49So
00:39:50That allowed me
00:39:51To focus a little more
00:39:52To help render aid
00:39:54And hopefully rescue
00:39:55People
00:39:56That had been caught up
00:39:57Inside those towers
00:40:05At this point
00:40:06I'm in shock
00:40:09I am dehydrated
00:40:11And I was wandering around
00:40:14Alone
00:40:17I walk up to
00:40:18The Woolworth building
00:40:20And
00:40:21I happen to see
00:40:23Pete Pannuccio
00:40:25My sergeant from the 19th
00:40:26Who I used to work with
00:40:28On the midnights
00:40:28And I'm like
00:40:30Somebody I know
00:40:32And he's like
00:40:33Oh my god
00:40:34Joanne
00:40:35Where have you been?
00:40:38To be reunited
00:40:39With a cop
00:40:39In the 19th precinct
00:40:40Was a huge relief
00:40:42She's alive
00:40:43And we were literally
00:40:44Maybe
00:40:45Just a block or two away
00:40:47Almost the entire time
00:40:48That's how chaotic
00:40:50This scene was
00:40:52Because you look like hell
00:40:54And I was like
00:40:55You don't look so hot yourself
00:40:57Joanne
00:40:58Was limping badly
00:41:00When I saw her knee
00:41:01I'm like
00:41:03I probably would have been
00:41:04On the floor
00:41:05Howling and crying
00:41:06And she was like
00:41:09We're good
00:41:10Let's do what we need to do
00:41:12I'll go to the hospital
00:41:13And we all go to the hospital
00:41:16And some boss comes by
00:41:18And he says
00:41:19We need people on the street
00:41:20Leading down
00:41:21Seven World Trade
00:41:23This thing was in flames
00:41:28To me it gave out
00:41:29A death row
00:41:34We ran
00:41:43There was this gigantic cloud
00:41:46And dust
00:41:47That just blew straight out
00:41:48Across Broadway
00:41:52And you're like
00:41:53When does this day end?
00:42:08When I finally got home
00:42:10I couldn't believe
00:42:13That I was home
00:42:14My daughter
00:42:16Hugged the stuffing
00:42:17Out of me
00:42:19And literally said
00:42:21I knew you were okay
00:42:23I knew you were okay
00:42:26And
00:42:26I literally sat
00:42:28In a bathtub
00:42:29And
00:42:30My ten year old
00:42:32Bathed me
00:42:34She was like
00:42:35I have you
00:42:38I'm so lucky
00:42:39You came home
00:42:44My wife and I
00:42:45Were both very emotional
00:42:46And we were
00:42:46You know
00:42:47Kissing my daughter
00:42:48And you know
00:42:49She slept in the bed
00:42:50With us that night
00:42:51And
00:42:52Such a like
00:42:54You know
00:42:55Feeling of like
00:42:56Almost like a
00:42:57Like dread or something
00:42:59That had just
00:42:59Kind of like
00:43:00I shed it
00:43:01At that time
00:43:02Just being
00:43:02Home
00:43:03Being in bed
00:43:04Being with my family
00:43:05It was just
00:43:07Such a relief
00:43:10I only slept
00:43:11For about
00:43:12Maybe an hour
00:43:13Took a shower
00:43:14Fresh clothes
00:43:15Turned around
00:43:16And went back to work
00:43:18They told us
00:43:19To be back in
00:43:20At 4am
00:43:24As the department
00:43:25Organized
00:43:26Everyone got
00:43:27Specific instructions
00:43:29Every detective
00:43:30Was utilized
00:43:31Somehow
00:43:32Some way
00:43:33In connection
00:43:34With the
00:43:34World Trade Center
00:43:39I was working
00:43:40Down at the pile
00:43:44A couple of days in
00:43:45My commanding officer
00:43:47Says to us
00:43:48All the crime guys
00:43:49Go back to the office
00:43:51Get changed
00:43:52Put on your civilian clothes
00:43:53You gotta go out there
00:43:55And you're gonna look
00:43:55For looters
00:43:57And I shook my head
00:43:58No to him
00:44:00I said
00:44:01No
00:44:02I was crying
00:44:04I was in hysterics
00:44:05I said
00:44:06I need to get
00:44:06The fuck back in there
00:44:07Alright
00:44:08I'm not going out
00:44:09And look for looters
00:44:10I don't care
00:44:12I'm going in there
00:44:13I'm looking for Joanne
00:44:14I'm going in there
00:44:17And then I see
00:44:18My commanding officer
00:44:19And it says
00:44:20You
00:44:21Go back into the pile
00:44:22Go there for
00:44:23However long you need
00:44:24However many days
00:44:26He goes
00:44:27Just keep in touch
00:44:27You know
00:44:28Let us know
00:44:28That you're alright
00:44:32When they tallied
00:44:34And they whittled down
00:44:35That unaccounted for list
00:44:36We learned that
00:44:372,976 civilians
00:44:4137 Port Authority
00:44:43Police officers
00:44:45343 New York City firefighters
00:44:48And 23 NYPD police officers
00:44:53In and around those towers
00:44:56Had died
00:45:00For me unfortunately
00:45:01I knew quite a few of them
00:45:04One being
00:45:05Moira Smith
00:45:09And I had just saw her
00:45:11In front of the 13th precinct desk
00:45:13That morning
00:45:16It just hit home
00:45:17Because she was a girl
00:45:17From my old neighborhood
00:45:19And Moira was
00:45:20The only female police officer
00:45:22That had perished inside
00:45:26She was a police officer
00:45:28That worked in my precinct
00:45:30I'm like what?
00:45:31You know
00:45:31Because I know Moira
00:45:32And she had a little girl
00:45:34At times
00:45:35I would see her daughter
00:45:36In the locker room
00:45:37In the police dorm
00:45:38The female dorm
00:45:39She was really cute
00:45:40With like
00:45:40With little red cheeks
00:45:43It was very very hard
00:45:46We saw a photo
00:45:47In one of the newspapers
00:45:48Of Moira
00:45:50Rescuing a survivor
00:45:53Bringing him out
00:45:53Of the building
00:45:57I've never seen
00:45:58A time frame
00:45:59Of when I got admitted
00:46:00To the hospital
00:46:00And when I got downstairs
00:46:02But it was
00:46:03I guess
00:46:04Around the time
00:46:05The tower collapsed
00:46:05So I don't think
00:46:06I had a whole lot of time
00:46:07Before I wouldn't
00:46:08Have been around
00:46:10And officer Smith
00:46:11I don't know
00:46:12How many people
00:46:13She helped get out
00:46:14Of the trade center
00:46:15Before she helped me
00:46:17She was true blue
00:46:19To her task
00:46:20As a police officer
00:46:21And she went back
00:46:23Into the danger
00:46:24And tried to rescue
00:46:25More people
00:46:29As time went along
00:46:31My family
00:46:32You know
00:46:32They all realized
00:46:33That Joanne
00:46:34Wasn't coming home
00:46:35Pretty much
00:46:36Lost hope
00:46:38Reality started
00:46:39To kick in
00:46:41So they made
00:46:42Arrangements
00:46:42With the funeral home
00:46:47The day that they
00:46:48Made these arrangements
00:46:49I got home
00:46:50From work
00:46:52The phone
00:46:53Was ringing
00:46:54Brian
00:46:55Your uncle
00:46:55Mike's on the phone
00:46:57And I could hear
00:46:58In his voice
00:46:58He's a big
00:46:59Burly guy
00:47:01All choked up
00:47:02He's like
00:47:03Yeah
00:47:04He goes
00:47:04Anybody call you
00:47:06I'm like
00:47:07No why
00:47:09He's like
00:47:09They found Joanne
00:47:13Oh fuck
00:47:17Now she's found
00:47:20And I'm
00:47:31And it still hurts
00:47:33To this day
00:47:37This was at least
00:47:40Knowing
00:47:42Knowing for sure
00:47:45Unfortunately
00:47:45A lot of people
00:47:46Haven't found anybody
00:47:49And maybe never will
00:47:51We were lucky enough
00:47:53If you call it that
00:47:54To be able to get that
00:47:56In the first couple of weeks
00:47:57Right through here
00:47:59Do the bucket line
00:48:00Pass back
00:48:00The last rescue
00:48:03Was 27 hours
00:48:04After the collapse
00:48:07After that
00:48:08No one
00:48:09And the rescue mission
00:48:12Quickly turned into
00:48:13A recovery mission
00:48:15At the medical examiner's office
00:48:18We continued the process
00:48:20Of identifying
00:48:21Of labeling
00:48:22Of doing anything we could
00:48:23To get these people
00:48:24Back to their families
00:48:29Bereavement center
00:48:30Was very sad
00:48:31I remember one particular family
00:48:33They were like
00:48:34Asking me all kinds of questions
00:48:35You know
00:48:36As I'm doing paperwork
00:48:37And taking the toothbrush
00:48:38Or the hairbrush
00:48:39And processing it
00:48:41So we can get DNA off of it
00:48:43That was very heart wrenching
00:48:45To see the fear
00:48:46In their face
00:48:47And the sadness
00:48:512,976 civilians
00:48:53Were murdered that morning
00:48:5525 years later
00:48:5760% have been identified
00:49:0040% of the families
00:49:02Have nothing to bury
00:49:04And without answers
00:49:06You go crazy
00:49:08One thing about 9-11
00:49:09It helped me get used
00:49:11To the smell of death
00:49:12Working in the morgue
00:49:14I saw so much death
00:49:16In the beginning
00:49:17I couldn't even take it
00:49:18I was like gagging
00:49:19But then after a while
00:49:21The smell didn't bother me anymore
00:49:25We had 11 or 12
00:49:28Refrigerated trucks
00:49:29Lined up
00:49:30In an empty lot
00:49:32Some women's group came in
00:49:34And started bringing in flowers
00:49:36Major wreaths
00:49:37To put in front of the trucks
00:49:39To honor the people inside
00:49:42We covered that whole area
00:49:44In a huge white tent
00:49:46And that became Memorial Park
00:49:48People wrote things on the wall
00:49:52They pinned up pictures
00:49:56And one such picture
00:49:58It was obviously a kid
00:50:00It sprawled something
00:50:01And it said at the top
00:50:02Mommy
00:50:05And that was a reminder
00:50:07Of who we were looking for
00:50:13A few months after the attack
00:50:14They did find my neighbor
00:50:15Bill McGinn
00:50:17His wife had told me
00:50:18Oh they recovered him last night
00:50:21I was at the morgue that day
00:50:23I remember they brought
00:50:24Two firemen
00:50:25And I didn't know
00:50:26He was one of the people
00:50:27Recovered
00:50:27I found that out later on
00:50:30One thing I always noticed
00:50:32When it rained
00:50:33He always left his shoes
00:50:34Out of his apartment
00:50:36It was Bill's shoes
00:50:38Cordelia's shoes
00:50:39And Liam's shoes
00:50:40The kids shoes were always out
00:50:43And then one day
00:50:44After 9-11
00:50:45I came home
00:50:46And it was raining
00:50:48I see Liam's shoes
00:50:49And Cordelia's shoes
00:50:50But Bill's shoes aren't there
00:50:51And then it hit me
00:50:53I was saying
00:50:54Man I can't believe
00:50:54That he's gone
00:50:58Anytime a first responder
00:51:01Was found
00:51:02Everything would stop
00:51:04An American flag
00:51:06Would be placed over it
00:51:07And we would all get up
00:51:09And salute
00:51:10As that person
00:51:11Would be brought out of
00:51:13Ground Zero
00:51:14It was
00:51:18Bring tears into your eyes
00:51:29The full recovery effort
00:51:31After 9-11
00:51:32Lasted about nine months
00:51:34Went on until
00:51:35I believe May of 2002
00:51:39I had a tough time
00:51:40I spend time at work
00:51:43Where like I can't function
00:51:45I am like crying
00:51:47And like in the fetal position
00:51:52Because I'm trying to recount
00:51:54What I did
00:51:55And different things
00:51:56And like that's truly
00:51:59When I became scared
00:52:01Finally started thinking
00:52:03About the shit that happened
00:52:05I guess
00:52:05I don't know
00:52:08Murder kept going on
00:52:09Right
00:52:10People kept dying
00:52:11Outside the World Trade Center
00:52:13So we had to maintain
00:52:15A full investigative staff
00:52:17On the streets
00:52:18It brought back
00:52:20A little bit of normalcy
00:52:21To your everyday routine
00:52:22But we were not excused
00:52:25From the recovery efforts
00:52:26At one tour or another
00:52:28Somebody from our squad
00:52:29Was assigned to
00:52:31The medical examiner's office
00:52:33And sometimes two of us
00:52:35Were at the recovery efforts
00:52:37At the landfill
00:52:37In Staten Island
00:52:41Fresh kills
00:52:42Was a retired
00:52:43New York City dump
00:52:45In Staten Island
00:52:46And they would remove
00:52:47The debris over to there
00:52:49So that was the
00:52:50Detectives Bureau
00:52:51Responsibility
00:52:52To go through this debris
00:52:53And try to recover
00:52:55Body parts
00:52:57Or items that belong
00:52:59To individuals
00:53:00First they just gave you
00:53:02A rake and said
00:53:03Go through it
00:53:04If you come up
00:53:04With any idea
00:53:05Of what you think
00:53:06Is a bone
00:53:07Put it in these buckets
00:53:10I volunteered to work there
00:53:12And that was
00:53:13Tremendously satisfying
00:53:15Because you're hopefully
00:53:17Giving some information
00:53:18To some family member
00:53:20Somewhere along the line
00:53:22After a while
00:53:24They got wise
00:53:25They started issuing
00:53:26Tieback suits
00:53:27Boots
00:53:28Gloves
00:53:29And masks
00:53:30As you went through
00:53:31The debris
00:53:32Unfortunately
00:53:33That's probably
00:53:34Where I get my cancer
00:53:37I've been diagnosed
00:53:38With prostate cancer
00:53:40I'm very fortunate
00:53:41I caught it
00:53:42In the early stages
00:53:42The majority
00:53:44Of the people
00:53:45That work down there
00:53:46End up with some
00:53:48Related 9-11 illness
00:53:52Back in 2021
00:53:53I got a message
00:53:54On my fucking phone
00:53:56That you know
00:53:58I had cancer
00:53:58It was a urological cancer
00:54:00Very rare
00:54:01One in four million men
00:54:02Get it
00:54:03I felt sorry for myself
00:54:04For about
00:54:05You know
00:54:05Maybe ten minutes
00:54:06And I went from
00:54:08Feeling a little bit
00:54:09Like a victim
00:54:09To feeling like
00:54:11I'm ready man
00:54:13Let's go
00:54:13Let's do this
00:54:14Get this shit
00:54:15Out of me
00:54:16And that was it
00:54:21I got skin cancer
00:54:22On my face
00:54:25When I found out
00:54:26I was scared
00:54:29To date now
00:54:30More people
00:54:31Have died
00:54:33From 9-11
00:54:34Related illnesses
00:54:35Than actually died
00:54:37On the day of the attack
00:54:39Which is
00:54:41Extremely alarming
00:54:43I think that the terrorists
00:54:45Wanted initially
00:54:46To take out
00:54:47Those towers
00:54:48Because of what
00:54:49They symbolized
00:54:51And I think
00:54:52They got more
00:54:53Bang for their buck
00:54:53Because the tragedy
00:54:55Just keeps going on
00:55:00We're going 25 years
00:55:03I have buried
00:55:06At least
00:55:0750 friends
00:55:09Friends
00:55:10Not even
00:55:11People I don't know
00:55:14There's more than that
00:55:21Oh my god
00:55:23Oh it's all the boys
00:55:24What's going on here
00:55:25Good to see you
00:55:26My brother
00:55:26How are you
00:55:27Bro
00:55:28Every single one of us
00:55:33Should just talk
00:55:35Me and Pete talk
00:55:36Every year
00:55:38We would talk about it
00:55:39Hello darling
00:55:42Relive the hurt
00:55:43How are you
00:55:44How are you
00:55:46See you
00:55:47You look so good
00:55:48And it helped
00:55:49It helped until it didn't
00:55:51And I needed to seek counseling
00:55:55Wow look at my hat
00:55:57How are you feeling?
00:55:58Get up in here
00:55:59Yeah
00:56:00Yeah I know
00:56:01You gotta
00:56:02Yeah
00:56:02The new building is nice though
00:56:04The first time I've been in the new buildings
00:56:07Really
00:56:09McLeod
00:56:10That fucking heck
00:56:11Leave him alone
00:56:13Leave my brother alone
00:56:14Calm down Sam champion
00:56:15Yeah man
00:56:20I would wake up with these horrific dreams
00:56:28That's the worst part
00:56:30You go to bed
00:56:31And you feel like
00:56:32You're being buried alive
00:56:35There isn't a cop out there
00:56:36I'm sure that doesn't
00:56:37Feel the same thing
00:56:40I nearly had a breakdown
00:56:42Then the 9-11 foundation
00:56:44Kicked in
00:56:45And said we got you
00:56:48We will help you
00:56:50I could tell you're a little bit like
00:56:53Shaking
00:56:53Yeah shaking
00:56:54It's alright
00:56:56I was scared
00:56:57Coming
00:56:58I'm a big advocate now
00:57:01For guys getting mental health check
00:57:03Just do it
00:57:05We have the coverage
00:57:07Do it
00:57:07It doesn't hurt to talk
00:57:13I don't enjoy
00:57:17Being here
00:57:18At the site
00:57:19I don't like it up here
00:57:21I love that I'm with all of you
00:57:24I feel protected
00:57:25Because you get it
00:57:27You know
00:57:28We know things
00:57:29That no one else
00:57:30On this earth
00:57:31Will ever know
00:57:32And probably never should
00:57:33Never dealt with it
00:57:35Me personally
00:57:36My daughter wasn't even two yet
00:57:38She just wanted to know
00:57:39Where dad was
00:57:40All those days
00:57:41That I came to work
00:57:42To get the fuck away
00:57:43From these memories
00:57:45Just to actually
00:57:46Not have to relive this shit
00:57:48Every fucking day
00:57:49In my life
00:57:53My life was never the same
00:57:55Just like a lot of other people
00:57:59I didn't have any way
00:58:01To identify what I was dealing with
00:58:04Because I didn't see it
00:58:06I didn't understand it
00:58:09It was a horrendous attack
00:58:11On our nation
00:58:12It's a crime scene
00:58:13For many months afterwards
00:58:15It was a graveyard
00:58:17My mind is racing right now
00:58:18And I'm seeing photos
00:58:19Of Pete and Joanne
00:58:21That day
00:58:23I'm seeing photos
00:58:24Of Roger
00:58:24In the Pathmark parking lot
00:58:26Pouring water
00:58:26Over your head
00:58:27It's all coming back
00:58:29And it's really
00:58:30Difficult to think about it
00:58:32My place
00:58:33To let it out
00:58:34Was the shower
00:58:36I went in the shower
00:58:39And I cried
00:58:42And I cried
00:58:43And I cried
00:58:47And I never told anybody that
00:58:50That was how I got it out
00:58:54Yeah
00:58:57And when I retired
00:58:59That's when it hit
00:58:59Bang
00:59:00So hard
00:59:01Suddenly who am I?
00:59:02It's not relevant to the world
00:59:03It does
00:59:04It changes you
00:59:04It does
00:59:04That's why I stopped drinking too
00:59:06When you were tired
00:59:07How did we deal with it?
00:59:08Yeah
00:59:08We went to the bar
00:59:09Yeah
00:59:09That's how we dealt with it
00:59:11And we talked about it
00:59:11With each other
00:59:12100%
00:59:12But now the skies
00:59:14That are fucking suffering
00:59:15Out there
00:59:16From 9-11
00:59:17And PTSD
00:59:18That they've never
00:59:19Dealt with
00:59:20In their careers
00:59:21You guys in homicides
00:59:22And everyone
00:59:23Seeing all the dead bodies
00:59:24The dead children
00:59:24And all that shit
00:59:25And you all have it
00:59:27All of you have it
00:59:28You gotta deal with this shit
00:59:30Cause it will fester
00:59:31And you will change
00:59:32As a person
00:59:34Honestly
00:59:34Thank God
00:59:35For this
00:59:35This little meeting
00:59:36And for all those years
00:59:38I thought I was the only one
00:59:39That was losing my fucking mind
00:59:43And I wasn't
00:59:44And I know it
00:59:48I'm coming here
00:59:48I'm sorry
00:59:50I'm not crying
00:59:51You're crying
00:59:55I won't do it for the cameras
00:59:56But I'll make fun of you later
00:59:57You know
00:59:57I love you
00:59:59You gotta dry clean your brain
01:00:01Like all of us
01:00:01You can't keep it in
01:00:03I feel happy right now
01:00:05Just looking at Brian's face
01:00:06From the minute he started
01:00:07To now
01:00:08It's like a complete
01:00:08Different person
01:00:09This is a therapy group
01:00:10It really is
01:00:11I mean look at it
01:00:12Cause it's a comfort zone
01:00:13It is
01:00:14We feel comfortable
01:00:15Talking to each other
01:00:16We know
01:00:17You know
01:00:18We've chewed
01:00:18Some of the same dirt
01:00:19Yeah
01:00:20Mental health
01:00:21Is just as important
01:00:22As physical health
01:00:24And now
01:00:25I understand that
01:00:26But it took me
01:00:28About 19 years
01:00:29Until I
01:00:30Talked to
01:00:30Therapists about it
01:00:32I had to
01:00:34Because
01:00:34You know
01:00:35I'm not a
01:00:36I'm not a superhero
01:00:37Part of this is like
01:00:38Survivor's remorse
01:00:39Chief you were in the Burger King
01:00:40Tommy you were there
01:00:42He was there
01:00:42Everybody was there
01:00:43You're saying
01:00:44Why didn't
01:00:44Why didn't it happen to me
01:00:46A little bit
01:00:47You think about it
01:00:47You know
01:00:48We had 23 NYPD officers
01:00:51We had 37
01:00:52Port Authority police officers
01:00:54And we had 343
01:00:56Firemen killed
01:01:00God gave us memories
01:01:02For a reason
01:01:02And it's to remember them
01:01:05Remember what happened
01:01:07Never forget
01:01:09In the place
01:01:11Where the Twin Towers
01:01:12Once stood
01:01:13We now have
01:01:14The Freedom Tower
01:01:15I've never seen it
01:01:17From like this
01:01:19This level either
01:01:20It's like
01:01:21So majestic
01:01:21And I'm glad
01:01:24I'm glad we put it
01:01:25Right up their asses
01:01:26Very happy for that
01:01:27We're all alive
01:01:29We're all surviving
01:01:30In one shape
01:01:31Or form or another
01:01:32And I appreciate that
01:01:33They set up the memorial
01:01:35For those memories
01:01:36Of the first responders
01:01:37And the civilians
01:01:38And all the citizens
01:01:39From other countries
01:01:40That got killed that day
01:01:44It is a symbol of strength
01:01:47And resilience
01:01:48That we got knocked down
01:01:49But we got up
01:01:50As a country
01:01:51Not just a city
01:01:54The memorial
01:01:55It's absolutely stunning
01:01:57The imprint of the buildings
01:02:00With the names
01:02:00And the waterfall
01:02:03What a beautiful day
01:02:05Right?
01:02:05It is
01:02:06Not unlike the day
01:02:15Jimmy Ritchie's right here
01:02:18He was a cop too
01:02:19Before he was a fireman
01:02:20John Chapora
01:02:21You got so many of them
01:02:22Yeah, Jesus Christ
01:02:23Timmy McSweeney
01:02:24And then we got Moira
01:02:30Terrorism is not just one attack
01:02:32It's a constant state
01:02:33Of ruining people's lives
01:02:35With fear
01:02:36With illness
01:02:38With mental incapacity
01:02:47Counter to the evil
01:02:49There's love
01:02:52And there's people
01:02:53That really, like, care
01:02:57Through that tragedy
01:02:59The country
01:03:01Especially here in New York
01:03:03Everyone came together
01:03:06It shows me
01:03:08What we're capable of
01:03:22Like,
01:03:40Like,
01:03:40Like,
01:04:09Gracias por ver el video.
01:04:14Gracias por ver el video.
01:04:52Gracias por ver el video.
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