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00:07¡Gracias!
00:30Okay, do you remember why you like me?
00:32Here we go. I see somebody's excuse us
00:54Here's to Haley Cheers, so Haley
00:58Hi. She's a Leo. He's a Leo. Oh my gosh
01:01What's your birthday? Here we go again with the star talk
01:03No, I don't believe in that. Remember, we don't believe in that
01:05Yeah, okay
01:06So anyways, we became best friends
01:08And she did not know how old I was
01:11How old did you think I was when we were hanging out?
01:13Maybe five years older than me
01:15And I told her, and she laid in fetal position
01:18Because I was shocked
01:19Yeah, she looks good
01:20So Logan did not know my age
01:22So how old are you looking?
01:23Wait, let's tell her our story first
01:25Let's tell her our story first
01:26Yeah, I mean, so
01:28Tell her how we met
01:30You want to go?
01:31No, no, I'm an interrupter
01:32Yeah, she interrupts me a lot
01:33Okay, go ahead
01:35So, yeah, we met at this retreat
01:37And the whole point of the retreat was like, you know
01:40Go in, not thinking about age, not talking about age
01:42That was like the goal
01:44And out of all the women there
01:46I connected with Vanessa the most
01:48And I wanted to continue, you know, seeing it out
01:51Obviously, I just felt like we had a connection
01:53And then after that, we moved in together
01:56Yeah
01:56Okay
01:57And now we're here
01:58And how is that?
01:58How is that?
01:59Yeah, how are we living with Vanessa?
02:02It's been fun
02:03I mean, she's
02:05She's
02:06You can tell
02:06She's a strong, independent woman
02:08Are you keeping up?
02:10You know, I try
02:12But it looks like I think I'm doing a good job
02:14I don't know
02:15I mean, we have our ups and downs
02:16But it's good
02:17And I think
02:17Tell me about that
02:19I think
02:20You know, it's like
02:21I mean, we're too fiery
02:22Like, we have a very fiery personality
02:24Yeah, you're a leader
02:25Like, you know, we do fight
02:27I'm not gonna lie
02:27I mean, we kind of tell each other how it is
02:30And, you know, how we feel
02:31Like, he kind of matches my energy
02:33And I match his energy
02:34Yeah
02:35Now we're just, you know
02:36Then we can get to the age
02:37We're not getting to the age yet
02:39So you want to get to the age
02:39You wanted to get to the age early on
02:41I'm saying I'm not what you said he said
02:42Well, you're sorry
02:42Chops goes in so many pieces
02:44I know, I'm sorry
02:45I'm sorry
02:46Say this, say this
02:47What do you want me to say?
02:48Okay, I'm sorry
02:48I'm just really excited
02:49Is this that fighting up that I'm seeing right now?
02:52The fieriness between us?
02:53Yeah, because it's like
02:53Say this, say this
02:54Oh, don't talk about the age
02:56All right, say what you want to say
02:58Guess how old you
02:59No, I'm just saying
02:59Okay, just guess how old you
03:00I want her to guess
03:0238
03:03One more
03:04How old are you?
03:06I'm 29
03:06No, you're not
03:09Are you screaming, crying through us now?
03:11No
03:11Here's the thing, though
03:12Here's the thing
03:12Let's put it
03:13Time out, time out, time out
03:14You guys are best friends, though
03:16Vanessa's young
03:17No, and that's why we click so well
03:19Like, even, like, when we're in the apartment
03:20I don't feel the age difference
03:23You know, but then sometimes
03:24It's like
03:25If you go out
03:25Or, like, this conversation
03:27You get reminded of it
03:28And it's like
03:28That part's hard
03:29But it's like
03:30Everything else
03:31When I think of Vanessa
03:32I mean, I feel like we're the same thing
03:34Right, right, right, right
03:35But what I want to say
03:36Is, like, I think it's so cool
03:37My best friend is 32
03:39Yeah
03:39And my best guy is 29
03:41Like
03:42Best guy
03:42And I'm 49
03:43Top of the roster
03:44He's the top of the roster
03:45He's my only one
03:46Stop
03:48You're the only one
03:49Oh, my gosh
03:50What?
03:51I just
03:51It's crazy
03:52You know, I wasn't happy to see
03:56Haley's reaction to, like, how old I actually am
03:58I'm constantly reminded of the age gap
04:02With my parents
04:03With the outside world
04:05Now with Haley
04:06And, you know, it's tough
04:07It's the reality of, you know, our life together so far
04:11So, um, hopefully Vanessa's saying good things
04:14Uh, but, you know, you never know
04:17Obviously, you know my daddy
04:18That's right
04:18Yes
04:19I want to hear, like, what your impression of him was
04:21I, I don't know, like
04:23I thought it was kind of weird
04:25The way
04:27You guys, like, literally got, like
04:29These, like, little mini fights
04:30Yeah
04:30Like, what's going on there?
04:31Is it, like, in a fun way?
04:34Or is this in, like, a
04:35I know
04:36Okay, does this remind you of any relationships of mine?
04:39All of them
04:39Yes, I know
04:41Seriously
04:41So, at some point, I'm like, is this me?
04:44Or is this him?
04:45Or do I just pick really strong personnel?
04:48I don't know
04:48I don't like that
04:49And
04:50Yeah
04:50I think that the meeting
04:52Obviously, this is a strange situation
04:54But that was
04:56Bad fights
04:57Just a bad interaction
04:58Okay
04:59He literally had a mini fight with you
05:01Like, twice while we were sitting there
05:02Yes
05:02Like, that's weird
05:03Yeah
05:04Do you think that's weird?
05:05Yes
05:05So, that's what I want to talk about
05:06So, we move in together
05:08I thought we were friends
05:09And, like, then finally, like
05:11It got to be more than friends
05:12But, like
05:13Wait, you move in together
05:14And you feel like you guys are just friends
05:15And for, like, the first couple of days
05:17He was, like, sleeping with a pillow in between us
05:20And saying his prayers at night
05:21I mean, that seems, like, significant
05:22It's just, like, these dumb little things
05:24That make me think he's still a little childish
05:26You know
05:2729
05:27I mean, 29
05:28But I think, like, I look at you
05:30And you're 32
05:30And I don't feel, like, an age difference
05:32Between you and I at all
05:34Like, you're that person
05:35And, like, you need to fight
05:36All I'm hearing is, like, red flesh
05:38I know, me too
05:39And at first, I was, like, me too
05:41I was excusing them as, like, yellow pies
05:43Are you, like, ready to take this home, like, to the next level?
05:47Like, you want to continue this relationship?
05:49So
05:50I mean, obviously, things would be different
05:53Yeah, sure
05:54So, for me, I feel like
05:58Honestly
06:00This thing that we've been through
06:01Has bonded us together
06:03Yeah
06:03Like, in a way that, like, I've never been with anyone else
06:06You know
06:07In the beginning, it was great
06:09And then it got a little lukewarm
06:10And then it was bad
06:12And then it was good
06:13And now I'm just, like, where am I?
06:15Like, it's been, like
06:15I've just been running in circles with it
06:19Do you think it's his age?
06:20Or do you think it's his personality type?
06:22It's sounding to me
06:24That it could be just a little bit of both
06:26Yeah
06:28Maybe he's, like, having an issue with the age
06:31And that's why he's so hot and cold
06:33Yeah
06:33And, like, causing these problems
06:35I know
06:36Yeah
06:37So, like, what is
06:39So, should he, like, take that ring off your finger?
06:42Yeah
06:44In relationships, Vanessa normally
06:46Wants somebody super outgoing
06:49The life of the party
06:50I think she needs somebody a little bit younger
06:53Somebody who's still outgoing, fun
06:55Not a lot of baggage
06:56But at the same time
06:59That's kind of, like, where things might come into a problem
07:01Because he is those things
07:03So, you know, do I think this is the best thing for her?
07:07I'm not sure
07:08No, we can't take this for granted anymore
07:17Oh, parachute pants
07:24Not really
07:25I like these
07:26They are not parachute pants
07:27Twenty-eight
07:28Twenty-eight
07:29How's the year I was born?
07:30Oh, my God
07:31Awesome
07:32Good to know
07:34Um, I went to breakfast with my sister
07:38And kept asking me about age and stuff
07:41And I told her
07:45Okay
07:45It's important for them to know
07:48Yeah, but, like, they don't know me
07:49But I know you
07:51So they need to know about who you are
07:53I just
07:54It's hard for me to sort of, like, understand how they could, like, accept me
08:00Given all of those, like, very different circumstances
08:05I would think that they would be like
08:07How can you know that you feel the way you do?
08:12I think my people are going to be a little bit more cautious
08:17I know my kids
08:18I know that they want me to be happy
08:21They want me to find someone
08:22Um
08:25You know, they love me
08:28So they
08:33I, you know, I can't imagine that they'd be, like
08:38Against what I want
08:40But I don't know
08:44I mean, it's
08:46Scary
08:47Yeah
08:47I think the more we talk about it
08:49The more scared I get
08:50Because I'm worried that
08:51That something I can't control
08:54Is going to fuck this up
08:55I get it
08:57I don't want to get blindsided
08:59I just need to know from you
09:00Is it worth it for me
09:02To continue to invest in this?
09:07Do you think we can navigate that backlash together?
09:11I mean, this is just really hard
09:14But it's just, like, I wish we didn't have this stupid complication
09:20What complication?
09:21Like, just the worry about people's perceptions and judgments and age stuff
09:26But it's a complication on your side
09:28I'm only stressed about it
09:30Because you're stressed about it
09:31And you're so stressed about it
09:35Emotions are running high
09:38I know I'm gonna have a place
09:47It's time
09:49We're meeting somebody
09:50I'm a good viper
09:51Nervous as shit
09:52Hey!
09:54Don't call me out like that
09:55You're nervous, too
09:57I am
09:57Very
10:04I'm happy to see you, actually
10:06I'm so happy
10:07You didn't expect to see me
10:08No
10:09So happy
10:09Oh, my God
10:10Well, I gotta get my head
10:11I'm super excited to see my best friend and my cousin
10:15Good to see you
10:16Hi, nice to meet you
10:18Nice to meet you as well
10:19I'm good
10:19I'm good
10:20What is your name?
10:21Pfeiffer
10:21Pfeiffer, Ray-Therese
10:23Nice to meet you
10:24She's seen me at low points
10:27So she's protective of me and, you know, my feelings and my heart
10:31So I definitely know she's gonna have some tough questions
10:35Derek is definitely a pivotal point of my life
10:38So I'm just wanting to see how you guys connect
10:41Have you guys talked about any future plans?
10:45Or have you thought about any future plans?
10:47Yeah
10:47Yeah, we have
10:48So she's currently in Seattle
10:51Oh, Seattle
10:51Nice
10:52Okay
10:52And, like, her contract where she's working is up in three months
10:56Wow
10:57So, right
10:57Yeah
10:58All right, I mean, okay
10:59Yeah
10:59All of that's lined up
11:00So we talked about, obviously, me having the boys, right?
11:04Yeah
11:04So she's open to moving because, obviously, I'm stationary
11:07I can't
11:07Correct
11:08And you are living in Seattle currently
11:10Yes, yes
11:11So that would be a big move for you
11:13Yes
11:13If you were to move to Texas
11:14It would be
11:15I'm originally from Pittsburgh
11:17Okay
11:18So I moved from Pittsburgh to Seattle
11:20By myself
11:21Nice
11:22Nice
11:23A big, I mean, cross-country change
11:26But I've always been the type of person to kind of go for that sort of adventure
11:31And I like change
11:32Especially, I mean, be a good reason
11:36Don't worry
11:36Definitely change
11:37It was very important for me to establish that when I'm moving to Dallas, like, I do want to be,
11:43like, fight for it
11:44Like, I still want to be myself
11:45Correct
11:46My group of people
11:47Correct
11:48Because you can't rely on just one relationship to be your only relationship in your life
11:55Because that's a lot of pressure for one person to be everything
11:57And that's kind of what I was gearing towards, too, considering the kiddos
12:01It's like, how do you feel about
12:03Yeah, I mean, I knew right when I started talking to Derek that he had children
12:08And that's, like, very important to me
12:10Correct
12:10And I knew that he wouldn't be able to move
12:13But I am in the position where I can
12:15Okay
12:15Um, and I take, I mean, I take family seriously
12:18I really want a big family with lots of kids
12:20Yeah, I'm assuming you don't have kids
12:22No, I don't
12:23Okay, and so you want a big family
12:24Yes, yes
12:25You would be okay with kind of incorporating yourself into a family
12:28Absolutely, absolutely, yeah
12:29Awesome
12:29I mean, just more, more people to love
12:32Exactly
12:33Um, yeah
12:34And remind me, I don't know, how old are you?
12:37I'm 23
12:40Okay
12:40Yeah
12:42I did not know that
12:43Yeah
12:44We did a little bit different
12:46A little far apart
12:47Yeah, we didn't know
12:48We had no concept of each other's age
12:50Um, but it, yeah, I really have no
12:52I have no person, like, I have no issue with age gaps
12:56Um, I'm, I'm really, I am about, like, who is the person
12:59Who, correct
13:00Because it doesn't matter
13:00Is it in alignment with her life?
13:02Yeah
13:02But have you dated someone with kids?
13:05I, no, I have never dated anybody with children
13:08Okay
13:09Um, I guess my biggest point of reference was, well, my parents were split up when I was really
13:14Young, um, and my dad was, like, basically a single dad
13:17Um, so I had a lot of personal experience with, like, the step-parent figure
13:23Okay
13:24Um, I think there's definitely a way to go about, um, being, like, we've talked about being introduced
13:30To, to his, his children, um, and I think it's really important to take the time before doing that
13:36Yeah
13:36Um, because I know how it's impacted me meeting people quickly, um, like, the women that my dad was with,
13:43um, I would never want to put Derek's children in that situation
13:47And it seems like you're very understanding
13:49Right
13:49Which is honestly a very amazing characteristic, you know, but being, like, in the real world
13:56Totally
13:56Things where it's like, hey, we only plan quality time
13:59Right
13:59Once a month
14:00Well, Dom is calling now
14:02Yeah
14:02And he's saying, hey, I miss you, Dad
14:04Right
14:05And Derek goes with his son, how would that kind of look?
14:10Like, yeah, if I feel like time is not being made, it, I would just bring it up
14:14And I would say, like, yeah, like, I'm feeling, like, can we get, like, one date in the books a
14:20month?
14:20Like, I don't need, I don't need a ton
14:22You're not asking for every day
14:23Yeah
14:25Pfeiffer's 23
14:29I, that, that's, that's, that's, that's a gap
14:34What does that really look like long term?
14:38Because 10 years from now, she could be a completely different person than she is today
14:42And maybe those things that Pfeiffer mentioned she was okay with, maybe she wouldn't be okay with five years from
14:48now
14:48Who knows?
14:49I think these are questions that are something to kind of think about
14:54Absolutely, yeah
14:55We need to see when that storm hits
14:57Right, what it looks like
14:58What does it look like?
14:59Right, absolutely
14:59And it will, it'll hit, like, that's, that's just life in general
15:04Let me fade away through the night
15:11How are you feeling?
15:15Mm, I'm okay, it could be better
15:18Do you want to, do you want to talk a little bit?
15:21I mean, I don't, I don't know, what do you want to talk?
15:26Yeah, actually, I'd like to tell you how I'm feeling a little bit
15:28You want to sit down?
15:29Yeah, just give me a blankie
15:31I have never been broken down this much in a relationship
15:35And I've never felt so exhausted in moments in relationships
15:37But I care about Leah so much
15:39And I care about the connection that we've made
15:41I want to make this work and move forward
15:44I want to talk
15:46And all I really want to talk about was just to remind you that I see you
15:49And that I know that this is hard on you
15:52Just like this is hard on me, this whole process
15:55But I want to be honest about the fact that the overbearingness
16:02It's quite literally driving me nuts
16:04Maybe I just think of it a little differently
16:06I think I'm more of a, I'm trying to do like a we thing
16:09But then it's like, I feel like you keep doing a me thing
16:12Which is cool
16:13Well, I think it goes back to the fact that you don't want to be left alone
16:18Which I understand
16:19I think what you realize is like, I'm left alone a lot
16:22I'm a flight attendant, we're alone all the time
16:26Like, trust me, when I'm alone, I'm alone
16:29And I have no problem with it
16:31But it's like, I just don't understand
16:33I don't know what is healthy for you and healthy for me
16:37And then like find us our healthy place
16:39I'm struggling, like I'm really, really struggling
16:42I know, I see it
16:44And that's why I'm like, I don't
16:45That's why for me, I don't know what to do for you
16:48And like, I want you to be like your happy, healthy self
16:51I just, I don't know
16:52I just, I miss what it was like at the retreat
16:54I know
16:56And like, I miss the way you looked at me
16:59I do
17:03It hurts me to hear that like, you feel that I'm looking at you that way
17:08Because I really am trying my absolute heart is to make sure you feel loved
17:14Like I really am
17:15I'm just telling you that I won't leave this without giving all of that I got
17:21That's what I'll tell you, you know
17:23And I believe that you won't either
17:25So, I appreciate you hearing me
17:27No, thank you for having this conversation with me
17:30Yeah, let's just take it day by day
17:33We're good?
17:38Thank you
17:39Thank you
17:40Thank you
17:41Yeah, we'll figure this out
17:43We'll figure this out
17:54We'll figure this out
18:03Mmm
18:03So, my life is definitely concerning
18:06We live on different coasts, different time zones
18:09Kids, work, life
18:12And what happens when we're back to all of that
18:17So, remember when we were like talking
18:19And you were telling me how you wish that you would have taken more time between college and the real
18:27world
18:27Mm-hmm
18:28And like traveled or moved abroad or something
18:32Mm-hmm
18:32I don't know, it's just been like on my mind
18:35Like I know we have the commitments that are coming up
18:41Mm-hmm
18:42And I feel like the closer we get to that the more I've been in my head
18:45Mm-hmm
18:46About like is there a future with us? Are we aligned? Is our age going to be more of a
18:53factor?
18:53Mm-hmm
18:54I just know like when I was 22, I wasn't ready to be in a serious committed relationship
19:02And I knew that so it was just, I don't know, it's been something that's in my mind
19:07I'm like if there's more life that you feel like you need to go and live and like do it
19:12by yourself
19:13Mm-hmm
19:14Like I would understand that
19:15To me I don't view it as that, I'm not like oh this is somebody who's gonna take away from
19:20my life and they're gonna expect me to be a certain way or not travel, not have fun, not see
19:28my friends, whatever
19:30I don't see it like that, I feel like you add to my life, I mean I've already had so
19:34much fun with you and like to me that's experiencing life
19:38I know I'm a lot of fun like right now
19:41I am more boring at home
19:43Yeah
19:43I don't go out that much, there's definitely my life is more just like established and settled
19:51And I think that's always been an issue with me when I date like you know younger is like am
19:56I holding you back from
19:57Mm-hmm
19:58You know I guess what I wanted in my 20s
20:01I don't know like obviously I'm only 22 but I don't think I'm as crazy as you might think
20:06The most important things to me in my life have been stability and my friends and my family and you
20:14know like my career and keeping myself on track and all that stuff
20:18Like that's what feels good in life to me and not being crazy
20:23Part of something I wanted to experience was a stable relationship with a normal person
20:29An old guy
20:30A really old
20:31Really old guy
20:32Really old person
20:33I think it's just hard to hear a lot of hesitation from him and I guess
20:39It hits me differently now that I've like opened up to him fully
20:43There is a part of me that is nervous that
20:48If we
20:49Get to the next step and we're outside of here these doubts and reservations will just continue and at that
20:55point we will be
20:56Fully in and that will only get harder
21:04Fully in the way that's over
21:19Fully in the way that's over
21:23Slipping out of the shadows
21:24Yeah
21:24Yeah I mean
21:25I did not expect it
21:26I expected nothing less of your best friend
21:28Yeah
21:29I expected her to be young, vibrant, just like you
21:31Yeah
21:31It's cool to see you with your
21:33With your girl
21:33You know
21:34Like you were shining as always
21:36I'm so happy
21:37What do you think her honest opinion is of me in this?
21:41I think she was just worried about the fighting thing like less saying the fighting
21:44It kind of alerted her
21:46Yeah
21:46To like what is this fighting?
21:48What is going on?
21:49Like how is this a big deal type of thing?
21:52Does this like define us?
21:53Are we more than just having like little fights, you know?
21:57I mean you tell me
21:58I mean I don't want it to
21:59What do you think?
22:00No, I don't want it to define us
22:01I don't either
22:02I would like to just be able to like elevate both of us to a place where like we don't
22:08have to have the fighting anymore
22:10You know what I mean?
22:11Right, right, right
22:11Because it's just like, it's like a battle of egos, you know?
22:15Like it's just not healthy and it's not good and I don't want to do it
22:18Yeah
22:19So I'm like from this point on I'm like I just want to pick the battles like if it's not
22:24worth fighting
22:24Right, right, right, right
22:25And I feel like today was a good day like you know we got annoyed with each other but we're
22:28like whatever blow it off, you know?
22:30Yeah
22:30So I mean do you think like eventually like just our little quips be like that's just Vanessa
22:35Yeah, I would hope so
22:35I'd be like that's just Logan
22:36You know?
22:37Like I mean it was funny because like at dinner like he was like is this a fight?
22:40Yeah
22:41No, like this is literally me talking and then all of a sudden you going like no talk about this,
22:46talk about this, talk about this
22:47Yeah
22:47And then going in circles, I'm Vanessa, what do you want?
22:50I know, I'm always ten steps ahead of you
22:51Yeah
22:51I know, you are
22:52You're right
22:52Like you have to see that in yourself
22:53No, and I know that
22:54You know what I mean?
22:55Because my mind is like constantly going
22:56But it's like look, if you want somebody to and their personality be their personality, you have to take a
23:01step back sometimes
23:02Both, it goes, yeah, it goes both ways
23:03Right
23:03I'm not saying it's just you, like there's me, like I'm like push, push, push
23:07Right
23:08And you're like ten, you're ten steps behind and I'm ten steps forward, you know what I mean?
23:12Well I've just given you the steps
23:13Yeah, I know, I know
23:14You know, but I do feel like, like I want you to accept me for how I am and I
23:20want to accept you for how you are
23:21Yeah
23:22So it's like, we just have to like navigate through that
23:26Right
23:28So, hopefully we can figure this out
23:30Yeah, so what's next?
23:32Yeah, yeah, what's next?
23:34I just asked you, you can't ask me that question though
23:36No, I mean it's like the question that's hanging in the air, like where do we go from here, you
23:41know?
23:41What's next is we enjoy tonight
23:43Stop it
23:45And we have fun
23:46Mm-hmm
23:47And we light some candles
23:48Okay
23:49I step out and take this ride
23:52I feel alive
23:53So I'm gonna stand my ground
23:57Got something to believe in
23:59Even if I pull my mind down
24:03Nothing's gonna stop me now
24:05Cause now I'm fireproof
24:10Alright, what's on the happy hour menu?
24:12We expect, ooh, wine flight
24:19Zero appetite
24:20Zero appetite
24:22No, no
24:26Here they are
24:27I've got this far inside
24:29Yay
24:30And I'm ready
24:31Oh my God
24:32Mom
24:36How are you?
24:37Good, how are you doing?
24:38Jon
24:38Jon
24:39Nice to meet you
24:40Oh my God
24:45I can't believe you guys are all here
24:47It is crazy
24:48Were you not expecting, like, to come?
24:50How are you guys?
24:51Good, how are you?
24:52Wow
24:52I can't believe you guys are all here
24:54Yeah
24:55Cheers
24:55Cheers, nice to meet you
24:57Nice to meet you
24:58Thanks for coming
24:59Taking the flight
25:00Very happy to
25:01It's been fun
25:02Your mom talks about all you guys all the time
25:06Obsessively
25:07And I'll say that she's very proud of you guys
25:10Yeah
25:10I'm happy you guys are here
25:12Yeah
25:13And I think she is too
25:14No, I'm not happy
25:16Yeah
25:17Yeah
25:17Yeah
25:18Well, what made you want to take this journey?
25:23I guess getting out of Miami
25:25Miami is very superficial
25:27And not to talk down on it
25:29Yeah
25:29But it's hard to make, like, a genuine connection
25:31Um, I came into this experience, like, super open-minded
25:35And ready for whatever came to me
25:38And connected fast
25:40Yeah
25:41For whatever reason, like, we gravitated towards each other
25:45From the very beginning
25:45And it's just, like, our relationship has built more and more
25:49And it's, you know, been very genuine
25:52He's, like, a nice, safe dude
25:54And it's been really great to get to know him
25:58And...
25:59Do you...
26:00Are you guys living together right now, or?
26:02Yeah
26:02Oh, you are?
26:03How's that?
26:04It's been good
26:06He's being a very good boy
26:08He's, like, picking up and, like, doing things
26:11But, yeah, actually, like, probably the one thing
26:14That I would say that bothers me the most
26:18Is that, like, a couple times we've been at, like, a restaurant
26:20And you'll take, like, a paper napkin
26:22And you'll just be, like, toot
26:24And I'm, like, that's not where that goes
26:27See, I'm learning something now
26:28Small things
26:28Yeah, small things
26:29I feel like I do that
26:30Like, nobody would say anything like that
26:32I know
26:33Yeah, well
26:33What do you think about, like, having, like
26:35Like, her having, like, older kids, too?
26:37So, we'll...
26:40I don't know
26:41We've talked about that, but...
26:43Yeah, like, when we revealed, like, our truths to each other
26:48Age, and obviously you guys were a huge part of that
26:51Yeah, of course
26:53Um...
26:53He was, like, whatever
26:56Not in, like, a passive way
26:58Just, like...
26:59Yeah
26:59You know, you are who you are
27:00Yeah
27:01And she shouldn't be...
27:02And she's not explaining it
27:03But she shouldn't be ashamed of that
27:05And you don't want to have kids, I'm assuming?
27:08I don't want kids, no
27:10I've never seen that in my future
27:14Yeah
27:15Yeah
27:15And I felt comfortable giving her that answer
27:18And...
27:18Yeah
27:19That's...
27:20How I honestly feel, so
27:21That's fair
27:22I mean, I will say the fact that we are all, like, older, though, too
27:25It kind of...
27:25You don't have to deal with the BS of, like
27:27I don't know, like, me going to college
27:29Or, like, paying...
27:30I don't know, just paying for the...
27:32Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:32Like, the pressure of all that
27:33Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:34I mean, that's part of why I agreed to do this
27:37True
27:37Was because I...
27:39You know
27:39Now that we're all done, yeah
27:40Well, it's not...
27:41Yeah, I mean, it's not that you're done
27:43Yeah
27:43Like, obviously, I'm always going to be your mom's
27:45And be supportive and everything
27:47But...
27:48It did come, sort of, at a strange time
27:51That this opportunity was, like, literally the day I left your graduation
27:56Yeah
27:57Right?
27:57And I remember, like, leaving you guys that day
28:00Yeah
28:00And crying and being like, what am I doing?
28:03What am I doing?
28:04You know, like, because I was, like, having doubts about it
28:07And...
28:08Leaving you guys was so hard
28:11Yeah
28:12Yeah
28:12But, you know
28:14But, I mean, you've always tried to protect us and think about us first
28:17But, maybe, you've been neglecting yourself
28:20It's important to take care of yourself, too
28:22Yeah
28:22And to do something that's for you and for your future
28:25Yeah
28:28Yeah
28:32Yeah
28:32Yeah, I mean, that's what I said, you know, in this whole thing was, like, I more or less, like,
28:38finished that chapter
28:40Making sure you guys were, like, sent off on, like, your, like, best way possible
28:45And so now it was, like, a time for me to find, you know, something that was good for me
28:54Yeah
28:54And, like...
28:56Your own happiness
28:57Exactly
28:57Yeah
28:58Yeah
28:58Yeah
28:59Yeah
29:00Yeah
29:00Yeah
29:00Yeah
29:03I don't, I mean, we don't know, like, we're, I'm not gonna predict anything
29:12I respected Lauren for caring about her mom and asking those hard questions
29:18I think probably all three of the kids were interested in those answers
29:22I know how important, like, family time is, so I'm going to head back to the apartment
29:27Thanks again for coming, hopefully we catch up soon
29:30Yes
29:30Good to meet you
29:33Richard
29:33Yes
29:34Very nice to meet you
29:35Thanks again
29:36Yeah
29:38Bye
29:38Nice to meet you
29:40Of course
29:41Hopefully see you soon
29:43Yep
29:44I think today went great, but I saw Teresa kind of beat around the bush
29:49I wish she was a little more confident and proud
29:52Yeah, I think John and I are solid
29:55I kind of wish she would have boasted about that a little more
29:59And I think the kids would have probably fed off her energy
30:03Saying, like, oh, shit, my mom's, like, she's really sold on this guy, so
30:06Yeah
30:07I didn't love that lack of enthusiasm
30:12Yeah
30:13What do you think?
30:15You look really happy and I'm so excited for you
30:18Do you see yourself, like, getting married?
30:23I don't know
30:24Yeah
30:25Can't answer that question
30:26Yeah
30:27You know, you guys have seen me, like, hurt and destroyed and...
30:33Yeah
30:33You know, and I don't want you guys to see that again, so I'm being very careful and...
30:41But I also want to take your feelings and consideration into my decision making
30:48You know, I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable with any situation that I'm, like, in
30:54So, you know, I want you guys to, at all times, feel like you can be...
31:00Yeah
31:01I'm not just saying this
31:02No, I know
31:02Like, you can be upfront with me
31:04Yeah
31:04And tell me, because you are, like, the most important things to me in my whole world
31:12So, can you tell us about his age?
31:16No
31:17I mean, I can, but I don't want to
31:19Why?
31:21Because I really feel strongly that I want you to get to know him like I did
31:26Yeah
31:26You know, we formed a connection based on those deeper qualities and, like, the more meaningful things
31:33Yeah
31:34And I want you guys to also have that opportunity
31:38Yeah
31:39But I just want that to come at a later stage
31:42Yeah, I just want to make sure you're thinking realistically, like...
31:46I am
31:47The age is gonna make a...
31:48Right
31:49A big difference when you're out of this whole experience
31:51No, I... trust me
31:53It's a huge... thought
32:00Not telling the age is definitely a little weird
32:03I would say, I think John is probably more around 35
32:06If John were younger than about 30, it would definitely be more of, like, a surprise to me and definitely
32:12more of a weirder thing
32:13It's just because, like, we're maybe even closer to age than she is, so that's definitely a little strange
32:18He seems really into her, which I think that's a good sign that they have great chemistry
32:25But I want to protect my mom, obviously, because she's been in hard relationships for the past 10 years
32:32But I do think realistically, there's a lot of other things that come with the age difference
32:37And I think time will tell if it really will be able to work out in the long run
32:50How are you feeling, ma'am?
32:55Um...
32:56Talk to me
32:57Honestly, pretty bad
32:59Okay
33:04I think...
33:07Maybe I've been a little bit...
33:10Mmm... overly optimistic about things
33:14I guess
33:16Okay
33:19Um...
33:20Okay, like, this whole time I've been telling myself, I'm like
33:25I'm moving because I want to move
33:27I'm moving because I don't want to be... which is true
33:29I don't want to be in Seattle, I don't want to be there, but, like
33:32I'm moving to basically be with you
33:35Like, that is... that is the truth of the matter
33:38Like, that's what I'm doing
33:41Mm-hmm
33:43And...
33:45I have always told myself
33:48I will... I will... I will not change my life for a man
33:52Which... I think my big struggle right now is, like
33:55Am I betraying myself
33:59By giving up everything for a relationship?
34:04And...
34:04I'm having a hard time with my own personal...
34:09Values
34:11Okay
34:13Um... I also think
34:15Sometimes I just don't need to hear, like
34:19Oh, everything's gonna be fine
34:21Because it's not helpful
34:25Um...
34:26Because it's like
34:28I'm...
34:29I'm, like...
34:31Like, giving up everything
34:35Which, like...
34:36And you're... it's not like you're not
34:40But...
34:40Like, I am
34:42And it's like, I don't...
34:46Like...
34:46Like, put yourself in that position
34:49Like...
34:50I'm not only leaving everybody
34:52And everything I've worked for
34:56But I'm also going against my own values to do that
35:01Which is not to say that I'm not going to
35:04Or that it's not gonna be worth it
35:07But sitting here...
35:10Now...
35:11I'm, like...
35:13What the fuck am I doing?
35:15What the fuck am I doing?
35:19What the fuck am I doing?
35:22Sorry, that's, like...
35:24Not very...
35:25Positive or kind, but...
35:28No, it's real
35:29I want you to be honest and real
35:34I'm just, like...
35:38I'm just scared
35:39I understand
35:42I understand
35:43I think that, um...
35:45Uncertainty being scared
35:47That's normal
35:48And I know that that's extremely uncomfortable for you
35:51And I know it's like, well...
35:53Derek, that's easy for me to say
35:54Because you're not the one making that sacrifice
35:57I get...
35:57I get all of that
35:59There is not, like, some word
36:02Or magic formula that I can say
36:05To just make all that go away
36:06That's just gonna be an element of it
36:10But change is not that always
36:13You know, change is just more of, like, evolving
36:17And so...
36:18Still have your friends
36:19You'll have me, you'll have your relationship
36:22You'll have new friends, you'll eventually, you know
36:24Whether you change a career 25 times
36:27It doesn't matter
36:28Like, you don't have to know all the answers right now
36:30You don't have to...
36:31Like, I don't...
36:32I don't want to stress personally
36:33Like, just being, like, selfish
36:35I don't want to be stressed out
36:36Like, oh my God, if I ever stressed about this
36:38Like, I need you to be in a peaceful state for us
36:42Like, that's how we'll flourish
36:43Like, just being real, so...
36:46Mm-hmm, mm-hmm
36:47What?
36:52What?
36:53Mm-hmm
36:54Say it
36:57So you're saying, in order for this relationship to work
37:01Starting off, you need to be making this decision
37:04From a place of peace
37:06Is that correct?
37:11Okay
37:24I tried to keep it simple
37:28Simple never gets you this
37:32Can't resist
37:34No
37:36I thought I had forever
37:38Oh, this is beautiful
37:43So excited to see everyone
37:47Can't waste another minute
37:49Without a leap of faith
37:52Look at this
37:54You guys, like...
37:56You guys are glowing over here
37:58Are you?
38:05Hey, guys
38:07Hi, honey
38:08I miss you so much
38:10You look so beautiful
38:11Yeah
38:14Hey, guys
38:15What's up?
38:16How are you?
38:17What's up?
38:18Hi
38:18What's up, buddy?
38:31Everybody looks amazing
38:32You guys all look stunning
38:34Can we toast everybody together?
38:36I think no matter what happens beyond this
38:38We've all grown and we've all become better people
38:40So, you know, one day at a time
38:43Let's just keep moving forward
38:44Whether it's together or apart
38:45I know that this has been a blessing
38:46And I'm very appreciative
38:47I love that, Chris
38:49Dang
38:49I agree, I love it
38:50Cheers
38:51Cheers you guys
38:52Cheers, y'all
38:53Cheers you guys
38:54Together or apart?
38:55Better or apart?
38:56Two together
38:57Hello
38:59Oh
39:00Hey
39:01Oh
39:04Hey, hey
39:06How are y'all doing?
39:08We're great
39:09How are you doing?
39:10We're great
39:10We're doing great, it's not about us
39:12It's not?
39:13We're already in love
39:14We're married, we have a baby
39:15Okay
39:15Okay
39:16All the things
39:17So last time we saw you
39:18We dropped a little surprise
39:20Letting you all know that your friends and family were on the way
39:24So no more surprise
39:25That's more of a bomb, not a surprise
39:28That was a bomb
39:29Well, and just like that, this relationship wasn't just yours anymore
39:33Yeah, to say the least
39:34You had to open it up to opinions, to pressure, and to judgment
39:39That's true
39:40And it affected all of you in different ways
39:43Teresa
39:44I know when we kind of dropped that bomb, I couldn't help but notice some nervousness
39:50Yeah
39:50Um, I was horrified, scared, and I wasn't expecting it to happen the way it did
39:56Obviously your kids are older, they're, you know, I think
39:59Well, I mean, I'm very protective of my kids
40:01Okay
40:03However, John was extremely poised and very articulate, and they asked some great hard questions
40:11And he answered them, you know, like a baller, and it was great
40:15Was his age one of the questions that your kids asked?
40:19Well, I was like, yeah, no, no
40:21Oh, you didn't tell?
40:22No, they don't know
40:24Oh, so they never told
40:26And they won't know for a while
40:28Until I decide
40:31What's your reasoning for not telling your kids his age?
40:34Because there is a gigantic double standard
40:39If he was my age and I was his age, it would be such a lesser of a problem
40:44And so I'm going into this as, you know, really in a difficult position
40:50Because there will be a lot of judgment, not on only me, but my kids probably
40:54Their friends, our community, all of that
40:57And if we're being real, like, and we want to say, like, age doesn't matter
41:01Then why should I have to reveal it right now?
41:04Why shouldn't I be able to let them get to know him before I say, you know, by the way,
41:11he's, like, in your age range
41:14Like, that's going to be awkward
41:17Leah, you've been pretty expressive over there
41:20Because the whole point of this journey is to let everyone's family know how old were the people that were
41:27dating
41:27That's the whole point of it, so I didn't know that there was a choice
41:29I mean, it doesn't have to happen when somebody else tells me it has to happen
41:33But it's going to happen regardless
41:35Yeah, of course
41:37Why hide it now? Like, he's 2700, I think he's 2700
41:42I'm not hiding it. I'm trying to be strategic in letting my kids get to know him as I did
41:48They will find out when they find out
41:51And it's nobody's choice or decision to do that except for he and I
41:55I just thought, like, we had to divulge it at the end of the day, you know, I thought that
41:59was the whole goal
42:00It was like, we're not ashamed of it. I'm not ashamed of how old he is
42:03I'm not ashamed of it
42:06So I just need some water
42:07It's really none of your business
42:08It's not my business. It's just, it's not, but it's going to come out one way or another
42:11It's none of your business
42:12Yeah, I understand
42:16No, I'm still going to have a voice, but it's just, I understand that you're coming for a different
42:19Well, you can have your voice that goes in your head, not verbally
42:22It's the voice that's going to be said
42:24Well, I don't need to hear it
42:25Oh, I'm sorry. It just got sad
42:29All I can say is don't fucking come for me, because I will
42:37All right, let's stay respectful, guys. We're good
42:44I think for clarity, friends and family were coming to meet the person that you committed to
42:50And how many of those details you include is up to you
43:04You shared space
43:07You shared lives
43:09You faced judgment
43:11And you found ways to stay connected
43:13But now, it's decision time
43:17Tonight is your last night together
43:22Tomorrow morning, you will wake up next to the person you've lived a life with here
43:27But then, you have to say goodbye
43:30Because from that moment on, you will be on your own
43:34No more shared space
43:36No more comfort in each other's presence
43:39Just time to sit with your heart
43:41Your doubts
43:43And your decision
43:49The next time you see each other
43:51It will be to speak your truth
43:53And to decide
43:54Do we move forward together?
43:57Or do we walk away?
43:59Each of you will make one final journey
44:01To a mountaintop overlooking a place where it all began
44:06Up there, you'll stand face to face
44:08And ask
44:09Do you keep those promise rings?
44:12And commit to taking this leap together?
44:15Or do you take them off?
44:17And choose a different path?
44:19Alone?
44:24It sucks
44:31You've all got a lot to think about
44:37It's just not fair
44:48It's just not fair
44:49You're 22
44:51I'm 38
44:53That's a big gap
44:55The truth is
44:57No matter how much I doubt
44:59The age gap
45:01I don't doubt
45:02The way I feel
45:04When I'm with you
45:06If we were to stay together
45:08I may regret it for the rest of my life
45:12I always protect you
45:14And I always protect your hearts
45:16Parker, I truly love you
45:20It's a huge commitment
45:22To say that this person
45:26Who's 27 years younger than me
45:28Is my boyfriend
45:28I need you to believe
45:30That age is just a number
45:32But also believe in me
45:34That everyday I'm gonna show up
45:35And work on this together
45:37I love you
45:40I can see myself growing with you
45:42You lit something inside of me
45:44That I thought was gone
45:47I think we've both made a decision
45:48That will impact our lives and our families
45:51And I just hope and pray that it's the right one
45:54He's like in the prime of his life right now
45:56Honestly
45:57And why would he give that up for someone 20 years older than him?
46:02Is this a party break up with?
46:04I need the promise to bring back
46:08So I stay up
46:10To the sun up
46:13I'm waiting for a sign
46:16Do I cross your mind?
46:18Don't wanna
46:21Find another
46:24Trying to forget
46:26But if I let go
46:27Will I see you again?
46:31Can we go back in time?
46:37Would it be such a cry?
46:41To look at this as a sign
46:46And trying again
46:49One more time
46:53To be continued...
46:54So I stay up
46:56Till the sun up
46:59Waiting for a sign
47:01If I let go
47:03I'll see you again
47:16To be continued...
47:21Gracias.
47:51Gracias.
48:21Gracias.
48:51Gracias.
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