- 1 week ago
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00:04Best MDMA in Berlin, Dan, and take it from me, the MDMA in this city right now is, I mean,
00:10it's excellent.
00:12Have you ever read Primo Levi's essay on shame?
00:19He wrote it 40 years after leaving Auschwitz.
00:22He was trying to make sense of why he survived and others didn't, but he couldn't.
00:28A year later, he threw himself from the landing of the house that he was born in and fell three
00:32floors to his death.
00:36Dan, we're here. On a rooftop. In Berlin. The sun is setting. This club is gorgeous.
00:44And there is no one here who is not a grade one decent human being.
00:48There will never come a better time for you to drop a pill than this exact moment.
00:56Should I just leave Paul?
00:58Well, you've never drunk or taken drugs. Half is sensible.
01:02But you did just bring up suicide.
01:04And the Holocaust.
01:06In a nightclub.
01:08So.
01:08Without a fact.
01:10Without a fact.
01:26In film.
01:30In fact.
01:35There you were.
01:36A year later.
01:37In film.
01:37Look.
01:47Are you feeling it?
01:49Yeah.
01:50Your eyes!
01:51I literally just thought your eyes was good.
01:54Oh my God.
01:55Your hands.
01:56How does it feel?
01:58You feel good?
01:59Yeah.
02:07Oh my God.
02:43Oh my God.
03:24This is the best juice I've ever tasted.
03:27What?
03:30Oh my God, that's amazing.
03:32Do you want to say?
03:35Do you not hear any of what I just said?
03:38What are you talking?
03:40Oh my God.
03:42Yes.
03:43I've been talking for like two minutes.
03:52Seriously, this juice though, why is it so good?
03:54Oh my God.
03:57What else are you talking about?
04:42We're making this beautiful loaf, so into all of your leavens, plus 650 grams of water,
04:49all of our flour. Now it's time to combine everything. Work it until there's no dry flour left.
04:56And now let's go rest for 30 minutes. This is called the auto-ease. When you give the...
05:13We are going to do stretcher pulls here too, but since you guys are more advanced, we're going to first
05:20start with this.
05:22Flat down, pull back, pull apart, and fold. And you'll see as I do this that the dough will go
05:28from shaggy and messy to smooth and strong.
05:31Now, if I were using my conventional oven, I would preheat to 485 degrees Fahrenheit.
05:38In my romco, I set the dial to 250 degrees Celsius. That's 482 degrees Fahrenheit.
06:07You made this, Dan?
06:10Yep.
06:12Looks real.
06:14It is real. I made it.
06:17You're a person who bakes bread now then, eh?
06:21Yes, I think maybe I am.
06:23How was it, Berlin?
06:25It was amazing.
06:28I felt better there than I felt in years.
06:30Good. That's good. You deserve that.
06:33It won't be long.
06:35It's just so good at getting Dean down. It drives me nuts, to be honest.
06:44Have you, um, heard from the Governor yet?
06:49I'm expecting a call any day now.
06:52I really should get a lawyer.
06:54You haven't got a lawyer yet?
06:58Dan, you need to get a lawyer.
06:59Yeah, I know.
07:00Dan, get a lawyer.
07:05Can't bury your head with this. This is going to get real very soon.
07:08Yeah, I know. It's just...
07:16Lee told you how we met, right?
07:19Yeah.
07:20You met in recovery?
07:23Yeah, but did he tell you how I ended up in recovery?
07:26No.
07:27I mean, he said that something happened, but he didn't say what.
07:32Well, I used to work as a prison officer, you know that.
07:36And I was on a young offenders unit, which...
07:39They're the worst. Just, yeah. Testosterone raging.
07:43Teens trying to prove themselves.
07:47One day, in the chapel, I'm trying to break up a fight between three lads.
07:52I got caught in the middle, pushed to the ground, and they turned on me.
07:59Kidney in the head.
08:01Face, ribs, kidneys.
08:05And then eight other lads ran over and joined in.
08:11Jesus Christ, Laura.
08:12Yeah.
08:15Yeah, so I was bedridden, and they put me on codeine for the pain.
08:22And then when I did go back, well, I hadn't seen the faces of the lads who jumped in.
08:30So every time I'm with one of them, part of me is thinking, was it you?
08:37So I just fell deeper into codeine and fell too deep to get out.
08:47Thing is, I...
08:49I hated those boys.
08:53But I also found it hard to blame them.
08:59I mean, most of them had called me mum, by mistake, at some time or another, and I just...
09:07I just couldn't do it no more, Dan.
09:11I was...
09:14neither one thing nor the other.
09:21It's being split that kills you.
09:31Jesus Christ.
09:35I had no idea that that happened to you, Laura.
09:37Yeah.
09:38What am I gonna do?
09:41Carry it around with me for the rest of my life?
09:47Down!
09:48Boo-fucking-ya.
09:49God, you are so annoying.
09:51Well, what can I say?
09:52The boy loves his daddy.
09:54You coming?
10:02See you later.
10:03Right.
10:07So, you finally took drugs, eh?
10:10Did you like it?
10:12Yes, he liked it.
10:15So, you go abroad, drop an E, come back, start baking.
10:19Yeah, it's the new me.
10:21I'm glad that that'll learn Sanskrit.
10:25And this baking, did it involve using your oven by any chance?
10:28It did.
10:29Yeah.
10:31I used my oven.
10:32And?
10:34And it took me an hour and 15 minutes to go out.
10:39I had to wait for the cooker to get ice cold before I could walk out.
10:43Damn.
10:46All right.
10:48Here's what you do.
10:49You're going out, right?
10:52You pull a table in front of your oven, you put everything you need on it.
10:55Phone, wallet, keys, all of it.
10:57Get ready, take a shit, crafty wank, whatever.
11:00Then you go back to that table and you put each one of those things in your pocket.
11:03Then, you touch each gas ring once.
11:07You look in the oven once.
11:09You look in the grill once.
11:10Just once.
11:11You don't do anything more than once.
11:14And then you say goodbye and good fuck and you walk out that door.
11:17And then, and Dan, this is the most important bit.
11:22You do not come back.
11:27That sounds like surprisingly good advice.
11:33Thanks.
11:37You're not inside yet, Dan.
11:40You got your case, defence, appeals.
11:45You take it one step at a time, yeah?
11:56You're looking better.
11:58I'm back in the meetings.
12:00Doing what I need to do, you know?
12:03And you?
12:11Do you remember the, um,
12:14the prisoner that I told you about that you dads pad me?
12:18You're not talking to him again, are you?
12:19No, no, no.
12:21I want suspension.
12:22I couldn't even if I wanted to.
12:27But he told me that the guy got released.
12:33I checked the dates.
12:36And I know who he is.
12:39His name's Matthew Hall.
12:43I arranged to meet him this afternoon.
12:51Okay.
12:52But I wish that I could walk away.
12:53I, I wish I could just move on like you and Laura, but I can't.
13:00Mum says that I love the man that I know I hated.
13:02Can I move on?
13:04We want you to be Dean's godfather.
13:08Me and Laura were getting him christened.
13:10We want you to be the godfather.
13:13But he needs stability, Dan.
13:16He needs a godparent who can walk out the door and meet him on time.
13:19Who isn't obsessed by a man who tossed him aside like a huge snot rag 25 years ago.
13:37Don't go and see this guy.
13:39Just walk away, yeah?
13:40Just walk away now.
13:58Have a good one.
14:07You know what she feels like Holmes.
14:11Okay.
14:44Who's that?
14:45Uh, hello?
14:48Is that Matthew?
14:50Matty.
14:52Matty.
14:52Um, it's, it, my name's Dan Stewart.
14:55Bro, we spoke on the phone.
14:57You're fucking late.
14:59I know, sorry, I was late.
15:01I've been fucking waiting for you.
15:03You're 40 minutes late.
15:06Sorry about that.
15:07Yeah, the bus was stopped.
15:10Then when did you call?
15:13Uh, uh, my phone, sorry, my phone got nicked.
15:20Was it that skinny lad upstairs?
15:23What?
15:24Was it that skinny lad upstairs that nicked your phone?
15:27No.
15:29No, I've, I've only just got here.
15:33He's always nicking phones, he is.
15:37Supposed to be no crime here.
15:43Shhh.
16:34I, um, brought some biscuits.
16:37Digestant?
16:38Um, no, they're an own brand.
16:41They're kind of like hognobs.
16:43Oh, fucking hognobs.
16:47You'll want a tea, then.
16:53How many sugars?
16:55None.
17:23Sorry about all the air freshness.
17:25No, that's fine.
17:27He keeps cooking fish, that skinny lad.
17:30I think it's him anyway.
17:33Might be someone else, I don't know.
17:36He stinks.
17:41Are you okay here?
17:44I mean, is there anyone helping you since you got out?
17:49Is there help?
17:50What, your honourable?
17:53Well, you need to get a probation officer, but that's just to make sure you're not up to shite.
17:57There's no fucking help.
18:02Do you know where Basel is?
18:06Yeah.
18:09It's in Switzerland.
18:11Switzerland.
18:11Switzerland, that's right, yeah.
18:13I got a son out there.
18:15Working there he is.
18:16He's got two kids.
18:18And I was thinking of going out and seeing him.
18:21That sounds nice.
18:25So, can you get a plane there?
18:27Well, to Basel?
18:29Yeah, sure.
18:31How much would that be?
18:33I don't know.
18:34Maybe a few hundred.
18:37Well, a train.
18:38Can you get a train to Basel?
18:39I think you might have to change.
18:43How much would that cost?
18:45I really don't know.
18:49I mean, everything is online now.
18:51You know, I've been inside for 14 years.
18:53I don't know how to do all this fucking...
19:09So, you were my dad's partner?
19:14Eight months I was, yeah.
19:20What was he like?
19:22Your dad?
19:23Yeah.
19:24What was your dad like?
19:25Well, he was, er...
19:28He was all right.
19:31Was he?
19:32Yeah.
19:34Yeah, he was all right.
19:35He was a laugh.
19:39My dad?
19:41My dad was a laugh.
19:43Yeah, funny as fuck, your dad.
19:46I, I, I did a good stretch with him and laughed my way through most of it.
19:51Yeah.
19:52He was a good lad.
19:53Share his last fag he would.
19:55You know, and then they banned Sigs in prison and fucking ruined it.
20:01And what's prison without a smoke?
20:02I tell you what, I'll never go back there now.
20:07But that just doesn't sound like the man that I remember.
20:10Yeah, well, I'm not fucking lying, you know.
20:12Well, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not...
20:13Yeah, I've bumped with him eight months.
20:17Every day.
20:18I know him better than you.
20:24He was a good lad.
20:26He had his moods, yeah, but he was a good lad.
20:30And he helped me with reading letters for my son.
20:33Other lads, they'd take the piss if they read a soft word,
20:35and then you'd be into something like, but not him, not your dad.
20:38He understood kindness.
20:40Did he?
20:40Yeah, he fucking well did.
20:44Look, you knew the man on the out.
20:46But I knew the inside man, the man who was always there,
20:49the man who can't hide.
20:50Well.
20:53Which do you think is more real?
20:59I fucking hate hobnobs.
21:01It's all them fucking bits and that.
21:06I don't like fucking bits.
21:10What's wrong with the chocolate digestive?
21:16Did he ever talk about my mum?
21:20Yeah.
21:22Every single day.
21:25What was he?
21:27Was he still angry with her then, or?
21:30He wasn't angry, he was in love.
21:32Excuse me?
21:33He loved her.
21:35Always going on about her, he was.
21:37He said the greatest privilege of his life
21:40was to have held her in his arms.
21:43I mean, he'd say that two or three times a week.
21:46I mean, another man you'd get fucking chopsy with for that,
21:49but not your dad.
21:51That you didn't mind like us.
21:54Because he was a good'un.
21:55My dad said those words.
21:58He said
21:59she made him a better man,
22:01but that he wasn't good enough.
22:04He wasn't angry with her.
22:08He was too busy loving her.
22:16Well, I'm getting tired now.
22:20If I go out of my nap,
22:21I have to have a nap in the afternoon.
22:28Is there anything else?
22:32Did he ever talk about me?
22:38You're not the drug one, are you?
22:44No, son.
22:47He never talked about you.
23:03He was too 온 zap.
23:04He said it was good enough to be able to go,
23:04Bye-bye.
23:04Bye-bye.
23:04Bye-bye.
23:04Bye-bye.
23:06Bye-bye.
23:11Bye-bye.
23:12I don't know.
23:52I don't know.
24:31I don't know.
24:35What happened to that class?
24:36Hey, yeah, um, sorry, I've been away.
24:40Where, like a holiday, is it?
24:42What, you texted a bit of a tan?
24:44I did go abroad, yeah.
24:46Lovely.
24:46Where'd you go?
24:48At Berlin.
24:49Berlin?
24:49I love Berlin.
24:50You've never been to Berlin.
24:52Yes, I fucking have.
24:53I've been there loads.
24:53The drug scene is crazy in Berlin.
24:55You do the clubs, then?
24:56You go to Burkhan.
24:57Tell me you went to Burkhan.
24:59Sorry, didn't go to Burkhan.
25:00The food, though.
25:01You got yourself some curry verse, right?
25:03Yeah.
25:04I ate a curry verse.
25:05What the fuck is a curry verse?
25:06Berlin speciality.
25:07Brat verse covered in ketchup and curry powder.
25:10It's fucking disgusting, to be honest, but you've got to do it, innit?
25:14You go have your boyfriend, then?
25:15No, this time I went alone.
25:17Okay, okay.
25:18Listen, you've got to get them classes going, you know, because Keef, he's rallying without
25:22them, you know?
25:22He's eating a dictionary a day, yeah?
25:25And just gunning us down with words, fam.
25:29So how you guys doing?
25:31No, I suppose we're just killing time and chatting shit and waiting for that out.
25:36Come on.
25:38See you later, then.
25:40Guten tag, boss.
25:41Good to see you, boy.
25:41See you, Dad.
25:42All right.
25:45Boyfriend.
25:46They assumed I was gay.
25:47I let them.
25:48So you're living as a closeted heterosexual?
25:51Smart.
26:08You all right, then?
26:11Yeah.
26:12Yeah, I'll just wait.
26:14Good.
26:15It won't be long.
26:17Or he might be.
26:18Who fucking knows?
26:28I had to do what I had to.
26:32Yeah, I know.
26:36I mean, I should never have put you in that position, really, or Jamie.
26:41It's me that should apologise, not you.
26:44I wasn't fucking apologising.
26:50Hey, how's Greg doing?
26:52Who's Greg?
26:53You know, Greg, the Skittles.
26:55Oh, Greg.
26:56Oh, yeah, he's...
26:57He's gone.
26:59You got release?
27:00No.
27:01Suicide.
27:02What?
27:04Yeah, I think it was asphyxiation.
27:06But to be honest, it was two suicides ago, so...
27:10Are you serious?
27:12He's dead?
27:16The thing is, Dan, they don't all make it out of here.
27:18It can be really, really...
27:20I doubt you.
27:24I need you to leave.
27:25No, OK.
27:25Yes, I can give up.
27:26I guess we both do.
27:27When we're in there for you, men in the field.
27:27Come here.
27:27Go.
27:28Bye.
27:32Bye.
27:32Bye.
27:33Bye.
27:39Bye.
27:41Bye.
27:56Come on.
28:02You've elected not to have a lawyer present.
28:04That's right.
28:06Can I ask why?
28:08There's no new information.
28:10I told you the truth.
28:12You know everything.
28:14Why didn't you tell me your father was a prisoner?
28:17Well, I've not seen him in 20 years.
28:19He's not a part of my life.
28:21Isn't he?
28:23Things like that can have a long tail.
28:26He's not a part of my life.
28:31What is it you think you've been doing here, Dan?
28:35What am I?
28:35Sorry?
28:37What have you been achieving?
28:42Um...
28:48People...
28:49People sort of enjoy thinking.
28:53Even those who seem not to be good at it.
28:57Thinking is human.
29:00And...
29:01My course lets them think for a bit.
29:06They're less than feel human.
29:11The reason I operate a zero-tolerance policy as regards staff and contraband isn't piety.
29:18It's out of necessity.
29:20In common with every facility in this country, my prison is rife with drugs, violence and extortion.
29:27The levers I have at my disposal to stop staff exploiting or being exploited are very few.
29:33Prosecuting people like you to the full extent of the law is really the main one.
29:40I do it because it works.
29:42I understand.
29:45So...
29:45In light of that, I've decided not to prosecute.
29:51Excuse me?
29:52You didn't do what you did for gain.
29:54That's clear.
29:55So, prosecution serves no purpose other than to deprive the men of something they seem to like.
30:01You're right.
30:03But they do like to think.
30:04It does make them feel human.
30:06It's better for me to have humans in it.
30:09Humans I can deal with.
30:10It's all right.
30:11I'm OK.
30:11I'm not going to get...
30:12I'm lifting suspension.
30:14Effective immediately.
30:17This is only one of a handful of times in the last 15 years I've given a second chance for
30:21something like this.
30:22There won't be a third.
30:24Do you understand that?
30:25Yes, I do.
30:49Oh, for me.
30:52Hey, hey, hey.
30:53Hey.
30:54Hey, what's going on?
30:55Hello?
30:55Yeah, I'm OK.
30:56Hey, hey.
30:57Are you OK?
30:58I'm OK.
30:59I'm OK.
31:00Are you sure?
31:03Take a minute.
31:07OK.
31:32I don't know.
32:20I don't know.
32:25Do you turn to Christ, the Saviour?
32:28I don't know.
32:29I don't know.
32:30Wait a minute.
32:31See?
32:32Oh, Frank's got retro.
32:34Oh, come on.
32:35Oh, come on.
32:35Oh, come on.
32:36Oh, come on.
32:37Oh, come on.
32:39Oh, come on.
32:41Oh, come on.
32:53It was all.
32:54You did look good though.
32:55Well, you know what they say, Laura.
32:56One grandchild is plenty.
32:58But two is even better.
33:00No one's up.
33:01Or three.
33:02Or four.
33:02Or five.
33:02Here, pack it in you.
33:06You did look good with that baby though.
33:12Last time he was here, this is for Martin's funeral.
33:17It's nice to be back like this.
33:22Oh, I hear you're a baker now.
33:25It's sour, though. Martin would be proud.
33:33Sorry about what I said, but, um,
33:36the last time he'll be here.
33:41You never need to say sorry, Danny.
33:44Not to a parent.
33:47We're bolted on.
33:54I took drugs.
33:56Oh, my God. Why are you telling me that, Danny?
33:59I'm your bloody mum.
34:00You told me to.
34:01I didn't think you were going to come and tell me all about it.
34:04Oh, Jesus Christ, Danny.
34:08What drugs did you do, then?
34:09Actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
34:11Well, go on, then. What did you do?
34:14Sorry. It was just... It was recreational.
34:16It wasn't... It wasn't anything.
34:17Are you going to do it again?
34:19I mean, do I need to worry?
34:21No, look, Mum, I just... I just went out and did normal things.
34:25I thought you'd want to know that I was being normal.
34:26Oh, oh, this is you being normal.
34:29Take drugs, then very normally,
34:30come and tell your mum all about it.
34:32A christening.
34:32Just like normal people do.
34:34Right, Mum.
34:38I'm pleased you're being normal.
34:46He always was proud of you.
34:53He was proud of you every single day.
35:02Just like we all are.
35:05He was proud of you.
35:08He did.
35:09He's the one who's a good one.
35:11I'm so grateful to him.
35:17He only sang the same boat.
35:17He's the one who's a good one.
35:20Yeah, he's the one who's a good one.
35:26Uh-huh.
35:28He's the one who died.
35:28Oh, no, no.
35:29Oh, I don't know.
35:30Oh, no.
35:35So, after a few minutes of this, I'll stop, I'll turn round, and I'll go,
35:40Oh, oh, I'm sorry, sir, I didn't know you were there.
35:44I couldn't hear over the sound of all that fucking honking.
35:47What did you say?
35:49Oh, my God, what did he do?
35:50Well, he loses it. He bangs his foot on the accelerator,
35:53goes all the way round the outside of the car park to get round me.
35:57So I thought, all right.
35:59So I just slipped on up and blocked the exit.
36:03You didn't.
36:04Big line of fucking trolleys.
36:07He gets round, and there's me, kneeling, doing my shoelace.
36:14The next thing I know, he's nudging right up to my trolleys.
36:18He starts shunting them.
36:20What, with his Tesla?
36:21With his fucking Tesla!
36:23Oh, my God, what did you do, Frank?
36:26Well, I just stood there watching that.
36:29Massive scraping sand, the metal there isn't.
36:32Finally, I'll step in, and I'll say,
36:35Excuse me, sir, I would not advise you to do that.
36:39And he says,
36:40I don't take advice from the likes of you!
36:44And I'll say,
36:45I would if I were you, sir,
36:47cos you're ripping your fucking bumper off.
36:51He's ripped him right off, Dan.
36:55Hey, next thing I know, there's a copper down.
36:58What? Why?
36:59I don't know.
37:00No idea someone must have phoned him.
37:03Tesla's ecstatic.
37:05He's straight with,
37:06This man has kidnapped me, he says.
37:09Oh, come on, kidnap!
37:11And on a kidnapped, he says.
37:13Well, this copper, he takes one look at me,
37:16he comes over and says,
37:19All right, Frank, how you doing?
37:21He's only one of the bunch
37:23that nicked me and Vinny last time we...
37:25Oh, shit, Frank!
37:27No, no, no, they loved us.
37:30When they nicked me and Vinny,
37:31they was as good as gold.
37:32Most of these only get to deal with junkies.
37:35But we was proper criminals.
37:37They had a board up with pins and strings.
37:40All our crimes on, Mum!
37:42She's so proud!
37:44He's all right.
37:45Good to see you, Frank!
37:47You're looking so well!
37:48Oh, you put a bit of weight on!
37:51Glad to see your back on your feet!
37:52You keep your nose cream!
37:54Then he turns to Elon fucking Musk!
37:59Nix him for criminal damage
38:01and threatening behaviour!
38:03Yeah!
38:06Yeah!
38:10Nice to meet you.
38:12See you.
38:13Hi, Buckley.
38:15Start the pilot Navy.
38:18All right, Mum's best, isn't she?
38:20Yep.
38:23All right.
38:24Now, last-minute cuddles.
38:25Oh, weee!
38:26Can I?
38:27Weee!
38:28Oh, goodbye.
38:31What are you off to tonight, then?
38:33Um, I'm going to go home.
38:34Get ready.
38:36Uh, I've got a date.
38:38Well, it's not a date.
38:39I'm...
38:40I don't know.
38:41I'm meeting Natasha.
38:43Yeah?
38:43Yeah.
38:45It's not a date.
38:47We're just going to get a coffee.
38:49Still, that is something.
38:51Yeah.
38:52Yeah, it's something, isn't it?
38:58Thanks for asking me, Lee.
39:00It's a great honour.
39:02You soppy twat.
39:04Come on.
39:05Hi.
39:06Oh, I got you.
39:08Oh, I got you.
39:10All right.
39:11Let go of it, then.
39:13Let go of what?
39:15The guilt.
39:20Do you know why Dad walked out and that's the actual reason?
39:26Because he's a fucking idiot.
39:30That's all.
39:32It's no deeper than that.
39:36You look at this boy and you tell me it's any deeper than that.
39:47Get out.
39:49It's all right.
39:51It's all right.
39:52It's all right.
39:54It's all right.
40:09It's all right.
40:13Okay.
40:23It's all right.
40:23It's all right.
40:23It'ss.
40:44All right.
42:53Off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off.
43:03Goodbye and good fuck.
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