- 3 weeks ago
Andrew McCarthy was the guy you wanted to be in the 80s or at least hang out with. Pretty in Pink. Weekend at Bernie’s. The man was everywhere. But somewhere along the way, he traded Hollywood for travel writing. Then one day he looked up and realized he hadn’t seen his friends in years. Which set him off on a 10,000-mile journey to reconnect. He talks about it all in his new book Who Needs Friends?
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00:00After that initial blush of success that you were just talking about with the Brad Pack and
00:03all that stuff sort of started, I started traveling the world. I was, I mentioned I
00:06walked across the Camino to Santiago and I had a real white light experience that first time I did
00:10it. In this field of weed, I just found myself on my knees sobbing and I realized in that moment
00:15how much fear had dominated my life. Travel is a powerful, meaningful tool and it can change
00:20your life in a profound way like it's changed mine. Hey everyone, welcome to How Success
00:29Happens. I'm Dan Bova, writer and editor at entrepreneur.com. And if you are a Gen Xer like
00:35me, today's guest likely played a huge part in your teenage movie going experience. Andrew McCarthy
00:42starred in such iconic flicks as Pretty in Pink, St. Elmo's Fire, Mannequin, Less Than Zero,
00:49Weekend at Bernie's, but he's expanded his resume to travel writer, TV director, and New York Times
00:55bestselling author. He's here today to talk about his latest book, Who Needs Friends? An
01:02Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, which is out now. Welcome, Andrew.
01:09Thanks. Good to be with you.
01:11Great to talk to you. You know, we talk so much on this show about the power of our personal
01:19networks
01:20and not just from a what can this person do for me angle, but having a support system to help
01:26manage
01:27the highs and lows of life. So I was really eager to talk to you about this new book. Can
01:32you talk
01:32a little bit about how it came about and what it's about? Yeah, sure. I was sitting at the kitchen
01:38table
01:39a few years ago. My son was just sitting there strumming his guitar, telling me a funny story about
01:44one of his friends. He finished his story and he kind of looked up at me and said,
01:48you don't really have any friends, do you, dad? And I, he was 20 years old at the time, and
01:55he didn't mean it in any kind of natural, it was just the way kids sort of speak directly to
01:59something, you know? And I said, yes, Sammy, I do have friends. I just don't see them, but I know
02:04they're there and that's enough. And he kind of went, yeah, okay. And he went off to see his
02:08girlfriend or whatever. And I sat with that for a little while and I thought, you know what? It's not
02:12enough. And, you know, like many of us, I had, when I was a young man, his age, you know,
02:17my early
02:17twenties, and I had this group of several close dear friends who became sort of, they were like
02:22my chosen family, the way we get when we first leave home. And they were instrumental in me becoming
02:27who I've become, you know, and it is through life and families and jobs or whatever. They all moved
02:32away. And I hadn't seen, I hadn't seen them in years and years, decades sometimes. And I just thought,
02:37I need to go see my friends. So I got in the car and I drove 10,000 miles across
02:43America on back
02:44roads. And I just went to reconnect with my old friends. And along the way, I actually became very
02:49interested in the topic. And I started talking to men. I just randomly would approach guys on the
02:53street or in a gas station or a bar. And I'd say, Hey man, would you talk to me about
02:58your friends?
02:59And they all looked at me like, nuts. And then, but it was interesting after they all kind of settled
03:05down for a minute. Then what do you mean? What are you talking about? And not a single guy said
03:10no
03:10to me. Every single guy talked to me. And invariably when I would finish my conversation with them,
03:15they would look at me and kind of go, I've never talked about this before. This is fact. I've never
03:20talked about this. So thank you. And they ended up thanking me. That is amazing. And there's a lot,
03:25a lot of, uh, I want to get into with that. And I'm curious just from your standpoint, because,
03:32you know, as we talked minutes before we started recording here, I have two sons and, uh, they're,
03:38they're ones in, uh, uh, 22 and one's 19. And I'm always amazed when I see them interacting with
03:46their friends because they're really nice to each other. And I feel like, I don't know if it was just
03:52my generation or what, but we were such sarcastic assholes to each other all the time. And I wonder,
03:59you know, do you see that? Do you see that this is sort of a, an issue for, for the
04:05older folks?
04:07Well, that's, I find the same thing with my kids. Now that you mentioned it that way,
04:10they are kinder to each other. And so when it was interesting to you, when I talked to people
04:15across the country, whenever I would talk to young people, they were really forthcoming with me.
04:19Like I'd ask young, I'd ask everybody. I said, you ever get lonely? And all the young guys would say,
04:24Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get lonely a lot. And whenever I'd ask an older guy, my age or some,
04:30you know, they'd go, no, no, I don't get lonely. And I always know when I answer a question too
04:36fast
04:36like that, it's either a topic I'm afraid of, or I'm lying. And it's so interesting that the younger
04:42people were so much more willing to admit their loneliness than the older guys were. Um,
04:48um, but anyhow, uh, so that's interesting. You point that out. I hadn't thought about that for
04:54it. I think it's really true. My, my kids are sort of much nicer to their friends and
04:57we weren't flagging each other and just, I was like, how are you communicated? Right?
05:04Yeah. Yeah. That was, that was our language. Um, well, what, so now that you've, you know,
05:10completed, you wrote a book about it. Like what, what are your kind of main takeaways about,
05:15you know, aside from, you know, I think we can all recognize whether we want to admit it,
05:21uh, I'm sitting here alone. I'm kind of lonely, but what, what are some of the other like big
05:26takeaways that you found? Well, one of the great experiences I had in doing it was that as I drove
05:33and reconnected with one friend and then the next, I sent this sort of emotional safety net underneath
05:41me sort of developing that I hadn't realized I'd been living without as I'd been, you know,
05:46being provider and all that kind of stuff. And that was a really kind of safe feeling and that I
05:53experienced is just reconnecting with my friends in that way. So anyway, that was sort of for me,
05:59a big personal thing, but I, uh, one of the big takeaways I had was that every guy I talked
06:05to
06:05without exception, the dominating factor in their life was the need to provide.
06:10They felt a need that they have to provide. And when I would explain, my wife is wildly capable,
06:15more capable than I am in many ways. And when I explained this to her, she said like,
06:19well, that's ridiculous. We can all help each other. Like, no, with a guy and every guy I talked to
06:24about it, I go, do you feel this? And their answer is just simply, of course, of course.
06:31And just to even acknowledge that with another guy, for me, it was just such a relief because I
06:37didn't even really know I felt it that much until we started, I would chat about it with each person
06:41I talked to, do you feel this need to provide? I go, dude, are you kidding? That's all I feel.
06:45And I did find that every guy I talked to was surprised to talk about this topic that they had,
06:51most of us had never talked to. I met guys who've been friends for 50, 60 years. I met these
06:55cops in
06:56Ohio. They're in their seventies. They've been friends since they're 12. Best friends. And they
07:00said, this is the first time we've ever talked about our friendship. We've been best friends
07:04for 60 years and we've never talked about our friendship before. And, you know, I said that
07:09it's amazing. And we just don't have the vocabulary or the interest. Like my wife and her friends are
07:15always talking about their relationship and their friendship and discussing it. Whereas like, you know,
07:21we just don't do that. You know, I also, as I went across country, a lot of guys trapped by
07:26this sort
07:27of macho idea of what manhood is, which is, you know, we carry our own water. You don't tell anybody,
07:33you do it alone, pull your hat down, get it done. You know, and I think that emotionally,
07:37it's just really isolating because guys, you know, we don't want to admit we're vulnerable
07:41because if you admit vulnerability, that is perceived in many ways as weakness. And the one thing a man can
07:47never be or present is weakness. I met this guy when I was in Texas, I was in West Texas
07:52on my
07:52journey and he was riding a motorcycle across town and we were across the state and we're just
07:58staying at this motel and we're the only two guests in this motel in this tiny town of Comstock,
08:02like 120 people. And he, so we started chatting and he was tinkering with his bike and I'm just
08:08sitting outside chatting with his son going down and he's just, yeah, I'm out here. I got a big
08:12decision to make in life and I'm just going to go out and ride and let the, let the road
08:16tell me what to
08:17do in life. And like, I'm like, okay. And I could just hear a real pride. And I'm not mocking.
08:22I mean,
08:22that worked for him, but I could hear a real pride in that sense of I do this alone and
08:28I pull in and
08:30that's how it gets done. And I have to say, I'm not sure that's the best way for all of
08:36us to be
08:36doing things or decisions to be made because you can justify an awful lot in your head alone.
08:41You know what I mean? Go to me. I'm like, Andrew, Andrew, what are you thinking there,
08:46dude? I'm not sure that's really what you want to be doing. You know what I mean?
08:50So yeah. Yeah. And you know, we, we talk about it a lot all the time, you know, when it
08:55comes to
08:56starting a business, you know, talking to people, mentors, people who have done this before you, and
09:03maybe they, they can see some missteps you're about to make and, and help you make some better
09:09decisions based on their experiences. So I think all these things go together.
09:14Of course. And I think we don't do that. I think maybe for two reasons, because
09:18we don't know to do it because it's not our habit or we're afraid of what they will tell us.
09:23They're
09:23afraid that we're going to tell us we're wrong. And you know what I mean? But you have to be,
09:27if you're really going to take it and want something to succeed, you have to be willing to hear that
09:30you're wrong. Right. You know what I mean? Absolutely.
09:33Many of us would rather just not hear that and go on our own thing and just go blindly down
09:37this
09:37path when a little information and a little sort of, it doesn't mean I'm no good and I shouldn't do
09:42this idea and I shouldn't do this. It just means that, wait a minute, here's somebody down that road
09:47a little further who might be able to go, you want to go left there. Just be careful because there's
09:50a thing there and you want to stay to the left of it. I'm like, oh yeah. And to be
09:54able to accept
09:55that it's like, guys won't ask for directions. It's ludicrous. You know what I mean?
09:58Yeah. It's the simplest thing in the world. And yet it's a cliche and a joke and it's,
10:03but it's absolutely true. And I did it with my wife not long ago. She was just asking me,
10:07no, I got this. What was I doing? What was I thinking? Why did I need to prove it wasn't
10:14some
10:15emasculating thing to ask for help? You know? And I think that is a real masculine thing of not asking
10:20for help anyway. Well, you are a big go out and discover things kind of guy. Before this book,
10:30you wrote Walking with Sam, which was a five week, 500 mile trek you took with your son.
10:38I couldn't get my son when he was in high school, which is like, I could throw a rock at
10:43it. I
10:44couldn't get him to walk to school and have to drive them every day. So how do you get,
10:47first, how do you get your son to go on a 500 mile trek?
10:51Well, that walk driving to school together every day is actually the best thing in the world for
10:54your relationship, right? I mean, I think it's, it's, but it's great to just, particularly if you're
10:59in a car, you don't have to look at each other and you can kind of look out the window
11:03and go,
11:03yeah, I don't know about, uh, whatever. What do you mean? You know what I mean? You get these
11:08little things, these little flares get sent up, but, uh, yeah, we walked the old Camino de Santiago,
11:13which is an ancient pilgrimage route across Spain. And I'd walked it 30 years ago as a young
11:18man. And I'd always wanted to do it again. And my son, he was actually 19 at the time,
11:22and he was just sort of going to go out into the world. And my relationship with my dad,
11:27it kind of ended when I left home. And I, for all my heart, I did not want that to
11:32happen with my son.
11:34And so his girlfriend had just broken up with him and he was moping around the house. And I got
11:38him in a
11:38very weak moment. And I said, Hey, Sammy, why don't we go walk across Spain? And he was like,
11:43yeah, whatever. I literally went into the other room. He was moping on, you know,
11:48I literally went in the other room, bought two tickets. And two days later, I had him walking
11:51across Spain because by the time he looked up, he was like, what? You know, and on day two,
11:59you'll relate to, you've got these kids. He says on day two, he says to me, Dad,
12:01what's the point of this fucking walk? And when we get there at the end, a month later,
12:09we finally pull into Santiago 500 miles later. And he looks at me and says, Dad,
12:13that is the only 10 out of 10 thing I've ever done in my life.
12:16Wow. And you know what it did for our relationship was that my dad, my relationship ended with my dad
12:22when I left home, basically until very late in his life when we kind of reconciled. And I was waiting
12:29always for the day my son would sort of wake up and just want nothing to do with me. And
12:34it helped
12:34me realize that the degree at which I was doing that was sort of overcompensating. And I just stopped
12:41doing that. I let him see who I was as a, as a person separate from him, as an adult,
12:46as a person
12:46in my own life. And I started to see him as a separate person and as an adult and that
12:50where could
12:51we meet as adults. So how did you, how did you discover travel as this, you know, big,
12:58such a big part of your life? Obviously, most of us got to know you, as I said, in the
13:03beginning,
13:03as an actor and a lot of extremely popular movies. And we talk about on this show, a lot of
13:10pivoting,
13:11like trying something new, trying something that scares us. How did you, how did you find your way
13:15into travel writing? Well, it was interesting because that's sort of like how long is a piece
13:20of string that answer. But, you know, when I was 15 years old, I walked on stage in my high
13:25school
13:25play as the Artful Dodger. And I, like a light went off and above my head, you know, and I
13:31went,
13:31oh my God, this is what I'm doing. And 20 years later, 18 years in any way, after that initial
13:39blush
13:40of success that you were just talking about with the Brad pack and all that stuff sort of started,
13:43I started traveling the world. I was, I mentioned, I walked across the Camino to Santiago and I had
13:47a real white light experience that first time I did it. Uh, I was like early thirties and I had
13:53a
13:53real revelation in this field of weed. I just found myself on my knees sobbing. And I realized in that
13:59moment, how much fear had dominated my life and played such a large part in my life and all my
14:04decisions. And so many of my actions had been motivated by fear so much so that I, I wasn't aware
14:10of fear's presence in my life until that moment of its first absence, you know, and suddenly
14:15in that field of weed, I felt just like that 15 year old kid beside the barn. I mean, 15
14:20year old kid, when I walked out on stage at the Artful Dodger, I felt like that light went
14:24off above my head and I felt like, oh my God, there I am again. I feel like me. I
14:28just started
14:28writing stuff down. And eventually I said, I want to do something with this. So I met an editor
14:32and I got somebody to introduce me to an editor of a magazine. I said, you ought to let me
14:36write
14:36for your magazine. And he said, you're an actor, dude. And I said, yeah, but I know how to tell
14:40a
14:41story. That's what I do for a living. So I, and so I became very successful very quickly in travel
14:45writing because I knew two things. I knew that, and I, this was in every article I ever wrote, even
14:51if I wasn't writing about it, is that travel is a powerful, meaningful tool and it can change your
14:56life in a profound way. Like it's changed mine. And I also knew, tell a story, don't sell me a
15:03destination. And so I would tell stories always in a, in a way, as opposed to talking about the
15:08beautiful beach. I couldn't care less about the beach. I came to the beach because I'm going to
15:12go pearl diving down there to bring my mother home a pearl for her birthday. That's what I've,
15:16that's what's about me getting a pearl, not, and it happens to be on a beautiful beach.
15:19So I'm not writing, you know what I mean? So I'm always trying to tell a story. So that just,
15:25and, and the reason they both happen, because people would always say like, wait, you're a young
15:29movie star and you parlay into becoming a travel writer. This is really downwardly
15:33mobile. What are you doing? And I was like, no, they, to me, they're the same thing. I feel
15:38like me while I'm doing it to the most. And so, and then I started directing television
15:42because it felt the same way. And I started writing books. I realized the older I got,
15:45so I love sitting in a room alone and banging this stuff out and figuring it out. And so they're
15:50all kind of the same thing to me in like a really bad businessman, but I know that little
15:55white light experience when I've had it, the several times I've had it in my life. I've been able,
15:59the only gift I have is I've been able to recognize that when it happens, because, you know,
16:03and it's a very small little boy. So the best ideas are usually the quiet little ones floating
16:07by, not the loud. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I wanted to ask you about that. You
16:13know, sometimes either we miss it entirely or we have that moment and we're kind of afraid
16:20to go after it because I can't do that. Like what, what's your advice to people who have that,
16:28you know, lack of faith or confidence in themselves to actually pull this off?
16:33Well, I don't have any advice for anyone, but I, I'll give you an example in my life because what
16:39you said was right. The four letter word there was fear, you know, and I think this fear dominates so
16:44many of our things when we don't like to admit fear because fear again is weakness and, you know,
16:49um, or so we perceive, but I was in, I was in, uh, Brazil going down the, I was going
16:55to go down the
16:55Amazon. I was in Manaus in the middle of the Amazon, middle of Brazil. And I was going to get
16:59on this boat and go down the Amazon. And so I went down to the dock in the morning and
17:04it was
17:06chaos, bedlam. There are these, these boats that are tipping in the river and it looks like they're
17:11never going to make it two miles. There's hundreds of people with bananas on their shoulders and they're
17:15carrying all sorts of shit. And it's just chaos. And I'm like, there's no way I'm getting on this
17:20boat for a week to float down there. So I'm never doing that. But, um, I said, I'm going back
17:26to my
17:26hotel. I'm going to get on a plane. I'm going home. Forget this is a terrible idea. So I see
17:31that
17:31there are some people getting on these boats and they're slinging hammocks up and that's how
17:35they're, that's going to be their bed for a week. They're going to just line up hammocks on the dock
17:38of these boats. And that's how they travel down the river. So I'm like, no way am I doing that.
17:43My back would be kidding. So anyway, but I go, I see an old lady selling hammocks. And so I
17:47go,
17:48well, I want a hammock anyway. Those are beautiful hammocks. And it's only like five
17:51reales, like a couple of dollars. I'm going to buy a hammock because that'd be a hundred
17:53dollars at home. So I buy a hammock. And then I see a guy selling the tickets, the little guy
17:58selling the, you know, tickets to the boats for like, you know, whatever, a dollar or two.
18:03And so I said, well, I mean, I'm here, I'll just buy a ticket because I want to see the
18:07boat.
18:07The boats look cool. I'm not going on the boat, but I'd like to go. So I buy a ticket
18:10and I get on the boat
18:11and I just sort of walk around and I'm ready to get off the boat. And then I see this
18:15little kid
18:16stringing up his hammock and he's like, okay. And I go, and he goes, you want me to help you?
18:20And I'm like, without, you know, he's speaking Portuguese. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
18:24Sure. And anyway, long story long, you see where it's all going. And you know, an hour later,
18:29I'm chugging down the one little incremental step at a time. I was not in any way actively,
18:36consciously trying to fool myself. I was just buying a hammock because I wanted to have it.
18:40I just took a little incremental tiny step. You know what I mean? And like, I never planned to be
18:44a travel writer and then write books. I had no intention of writing books when I was an actor who
18:49didn't have a job. So I traveled and then this happened and I just sort of, I just poured water
18:54on those things, you know? Well, yeah. What such a, what a great, um, metaphor for anything that is
19:03bigger, like too big to even contemplate. It's just those tiny incremental steps. And the next
19:10thing you know, you're, you're doing the thing you were terrified of that. That's such an awesome
19:13story. Um, bringing it back to your book and friendship, I wonder, you know, aside from going
19:22on a 10,000 mile journey to reconnect with people, you know, what are some things that you see that
19:30work
19:31for people, for, for men to stay in contact with their friends or to, to, you know, reignite those
19:36friendships that, you know, as you said earlier, oh yeah, no, we're friends. I haven't talked to him in
19:4320 years, but we're friends. Don't worry about it. Like, how do you rekindle that kind of stuff, uh, in
19:48those kind of baby steps?
19:50Well, I only did one thing right in this thing. I showed up, you know, and I do think fish,
19:56I think
19:57that old cliche, 90% of life minimum is physically showing up. Go invited to the wedding. You don't
20:03want to go to the wedding. Nobody wants to go to the wedding, go to the wedding. You know what
20:07I
20:07mean? Just show up. I'd really, and particularly for guys, it's like, we know how to do that.
20:11Physically, we know how to do, you know, we can drive the eight hours to drive the kid to college.
20:15But I think that the older I get to, the more I realize just showing up really matters. And, you
20:21know,
20:21it's like, and what it, what it said to my friends is like, wow, you really value this. You've just,
20:27you, how long a drive have you been driving? And then it was interesting. It forced us to name
20:34these friendships because in going, this, you mean a lot to me. You're important to me. And to be old
20:40enough now to be able to say that without shame and kind of go, this, our friendship has meant a
20:44lot
20:44to who I am in my life. And so to see you again, it's meaningful to me. And I really
20:48appreciate it.
20:50And, you know, I, Aristotle had this sort of thing, but friends who can acknowledge that
20:55friendship and know it and claim it, it deepens the friendship in a real meaningful way. And I
20:59experienced that very much, you know, and I don't think, I certainly think, because like,
21:04what do we got to lose? Why am I not? I met, you know, these two cops in Ohio who
21:09are in their
21:09seventies. I mentioned, and, you know, he said, we recently started saying, I love you to each other.
21:14I tell my wife, I love her. I tell my kids, I love them. Why can't I tell my best
21:17friend for 60 years?
21:17I love them. You know, they're not threatened by their masculinity. They're like, you are important
21:21to me. Yeah. You know, and I just think saying that and owning it is huge. It changes, it changes
21:29things. It just does. And we don't do it. Why wouldn't we do it? Because we're afraid emotionally.
21:33It's like, that's ridiculous. At a certain age, if you can't with your dearest friends
21:39open, say, you know what, you, you're important to me, then my God, we'll be dead soon.
21:45Yeah. Right. Yeah. Uh, that's, that's, that's amazing. Um, how did, how did reconnecting with
21:51friends on this journey compare to reconnecting with, uh, you know, your fellow actors for when
21:58you were making the brat documentary? Well, that was interesting. Um, interesting. These kinds of
22:03things are both similar in the sense of journeys and going to, um, well, that was because the irony
22:10of that is we were never really that close and yet we were perceived and labeled as this kind of
22:14group of close friends. And I was very much sort of a loner and a, excuse me, solitary young guy.
22:21And, uh, so going back and seeing these people I hadn't seen in like 30 years was I was surprised
22:29and delighted how much affection we all had for each other in a way that we didn't when we were
22:33young. When we were young, you're young, you're scared, you're competitive. There's this kind of
22:36thing, this wondrous attention is coming at you and there's a lot. And so I, in that kind of environment
22:42always tend to withdraw and pull back. So that's what I did. And, but to go back and see them
22:48all again,
22:48it made me have not only great affection for them, but great affection for my own youth and the way
22:54I
22:54always thought I kind of mishandled stuff when I was young, had I been another type of personality,
22:58I might've been able to handle it differently. And it made me have great compassion for myself,
23:03for my younger self. And, um, and, you know, I was able to also look at these people who I
23:09don't
23:09know at all. I don't know to me, I don't know Rob, I don't know Ali, you know, I don't
23:12know these
23:12people. And yet the part of me knows them very intimately and deeply. I can just look at
23:18them. We're the only ones who knew what happened in that, you know, when that attention coming at us
23:23and we were labeled that. And so again, there was the feeling of being less alone in it and less
23:27isolated in it. And yet, and having a shared experience just makes it a much richer one.
23:32And it allowed me to enjoy it and realize in a very real way that what a, what a blessing
23:38being
23:38labeled in the Brad pack was for me, you know what I mean? People come up to me with a
23:42certain
23:42generation and they'd look at me and they start talking to me about those movies and their eyes glaze
23:46over. And I realized very quickly, they're not talking to me. They're talking to their
23:49own youth. And then that moment, and I represent that for them. I'm their avatar of youth, you
23:55know? And so they can just, and all I have to do is receive them. And it's a beautiful gift
24:00to be able to give them. And they give me a beautiful gift.
24:03Oh, that's great. I love that. Uh, do you look at, you know, this sort of new crop of young
24:11talent out there and, and want to tell them anything, or it's, this is just a, uh, a journey
24:18of self-discovery and they'll figure it out.
24:20No one listens. Why would you tell anyone?
24:24You know, you're old kids. They don't listen. They learn by what we do. I realized, you know,
24:28to bring it back to the book for a sec, I realized one of my great failings as a parent,
24:32um, was that I didn't have active friendship demonstrated for my children. You know what I
24:37mean? My wife is very active and has her friends all the time, but I realized what a failing
24:41it was for me as a parent that I didn't demonstrate that. Cause like we're joking.
24:45Kids, nobody listens. Kids don't listen to it. They see behavior models and learn from
24:50that, you know? And it was a real sad revelation for me when I realized, oh, wow, I really failed
24:57them as a parent. Not only myself was I failing and not maintaining these friends. So I was
25:02failing them. That was interesting. But young actors, like, I don't even know who they
25:07are. Got it. Got it. Well, this book, uh, I mean, it sounds amazing. I can't wait to
25:16read it. Um, and, uh, and you're, and you're for, I I'm personally jealous of your, your life
25:23as a travel writer. Cause you know, I journeying around the world and seeing different things
25:30and I love the way you approach it, whether you're doing something, you're not just going
25:34to look at something. Uh, so awesome. No, thanks, man. Really enjoyed it. Um, so we
25:40have a, what we call the speed round of this show. So I'm going to ask you a couple of
25:43quick
25:44questions. So what is a habit that you are happy to have? And one you wish you could
25:49ditch? Well, I wish I could ditch picking my nails, which I, my whole life, and I've given
25:57my children the bad habit to, uh, habit I'm happy to have is getting up very early.
26:02Okay, great. Uh, what is something that most people love, but you secretly can't stand?
26:11Oh, it's such a good question. And I, I'm sure there are a lot of things and I can't think
26:14of a single one. Go, go, go. I'll come back to that one. Give me another one. Pass, pass.
26:19Um, what is your favorite way to turn off your brain? Going to sleep. Okay. And has that
26:31ever been an, like falling asleep? A lot of people are tortured by that notion. Is it,
26:36do you have a, has that ever been a problem? I fall asleep pretty well. Yeah. Um, how do
26:43I turn off my brain? Listening to music turns off my brain and walking turns off my brain.
26:47If I walk, I walk, I walk myself out of my, um, I think walking brings us back to our
26:51natural rhythm. I'm a massive walker. What, what's, uh, what's playing on the radio when
26:57you're off on these giant journeys? Uh, usually nothing. It's when my, when my head sort of
27:02processes and downloads and does that. Oh, okay, great. Uh, and then, uh, finally, uh, you're
27:10flipping through the channels, pretty in pink and weekend and Bernie's are on an opposite.
27:17No contest. No contest. Bernie. Bernie. That's, that's the answer we were looking for.
27:23I was in a hotel about six months ago and I, I clicked on the TV and I dropped the
27:29thing
27:29and I went into the bathroom and I heard you talking and I'm like, what is that? I know
27:33that I came out and it was Bernie was on. And I tell you, I sat there and I watched
27:38the
27:38last 20 minutes. I haven't seen it in years. And I watched the last 20 minutes when there's
27:42ridiculous boat stuff, you know, and I was laughing my brains out in this hotel room
27:47alone going, Oh my God, I was so funny. It's absolutely genius. Absolutely. Absolutely.
27:58Uh, do you get, uh, approached by people pretending to hold up a dead person next to them?
28:03Um, so many times and everybody thinks they're the first one to do it, you know? And then
28:08they'll come up to me with the pretty in pink on Blaine. That's not a name. That's a major
28:12appliance. Has anyone ever said that to you? And I'm like, yeah, but what I love is that
28:20people think that they, no one's ever done this before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that's great.
28:25That's really all they're doing is wanting to connect, you know, which is delicious.
28:30Excellent. Awesome. Well, Hey, uh, so great talking to you. Thank you for all the laughs
28:36over the decades and for these great books, as you mentioned, um, uh, who needs friends
28:44is out now so you can pick it up anywhere. So Andrew McCarthy, thanks so much, man.
28:50Thank you. Enjoyed it.
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