- 6 minutes ago
DMV S01E14 SYNCOPY
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00:04so did I pass this close young samurai you're required to attach a red flag to
00:10any load protruding more than four feet so you failed but you're the one who
00:14also not the first time I've used red flag and load protruding in the same
00:19sentence good job Vic you're the one who put the box in my car after you made me
00:23drive to the furniture store to pick it up okay memory cool your jets I'll
00:28consider a re-test if you help me carry the box inside okay come on let's go
00:41boop that's it so why are you bringing a coffee table to work anyway workers at
00:45the DMV get paid once a month so the week before payday when funds are low we need
00:50side jobs this month I'm assembling and delivering furniture for lazy people
00:54right now it kind of feels like I'm delivering furniture for lazy people
00:57okay well you're really really good at it I know I'll catch you inside I'm gonna hit
01:02the bono I've got a load protruding full sir hey all right hey
01:20one more pineapple and we win 25 grand come on Ceci I believe in your nails ah ah strawberry we
01:28lost
01:29again honestly I blame this room it's got bad juju yeah we should scratch the ticket in a room at
01:34the
01:34DMV that has no juju I can't stand sleeping on my neighbor's futon well that's on you
01:41for renting out your place as your side hustle you know you're a pretty girl you could be
01:46one of those girls online that eats and everyone watches I have seen you loudly house a double bacon chi
01:52I'll think about it you're perfect I'm so tired can one of you take the next test please not unless
01:58it's
01:592 p.m. in a hatchback I got a delivery sorry call that I'm working over here I'll take the
02:03next one
02:04if it's at a convenient time for me thanks hey did one of you print this and an essay about
02:10a time you
02:11overcame adversity yeah that's mine oh wait so you had a trip to Aspen ruined because the pilot for
02:17your private plane got a stomach bug no I'm rewriting college essays for wealthy private school kids this
02:23the last one is Leland's what's a Leland it's a cross between a trip and a Brooks I hate rich
02:28people with their
02:29caviar champagne going to the movies and buying their candy from the concession stand not taking it out of their
02:36cargo pocket oh totally right like rich people I just they're the worst like the worst mo money more problems
02:43you heard
02:44haha yeah yeah yeah I heard yeah so big ones last time you overcame adversity actually Greg I consider
02:53myself colorblind I don't see adversity did you experience a life-threatening illness recently no
03:08oh oh then you will soon now step back and smile go go smile wait what good enough I good
03:16luck next
03:17hey Susie can you translate this text from my renters they only speak Spanish that's Portuguese but they're
03:23asking for your Wi-Fi password oh it's Colette is rowdy get it like router but also whoa where's your
03:31candy
03:31I haven't eaten yet today there's no more barb can you just get a normal side hustle like everyone else
03:38instead of
03:38starving yourself every month it's not just starving it's energy conservation and deep breathing yes yes yes we know all
03:46part of the military preservation techniques you learn from your parents who are in the
03:50Marines good I know a Marine hmm now that girl was rowdy I'm rowdy listen I can't get a second
03:58job I am manager of the
04:00galdang DMV and I need to be singularly focused and alert oh your shoes on the wrong foot your shoes
04:10on the
04:10wrong foot Ceci I'm Colette I'm Ceci I'd laugh but I'm in the middle of an inhale Barb your lips
04:18are blue you need a
04:20sniggers I need help okay hey about earlier I hope the stuff Vic said about rich people didn't offend you
04:34you know you being a former rich kid and all oh yeah that's um hey I'd rather not talk about
04:41it to be
04:42honest oh don't worry I haven't told anyone of your parents are rich you know I still can't believe you
04:49cut them off and chose to be one of us one of you really I I still feel like the
04:54new guy no one
04:54sees you that way right new guy plot twist turns out the coffee table is bigger outside the box than
05:02inside completely unpredictable I don't think that coffee table is gonna fit into the butt mobile oh
05:07well why don't you ask Noah he can help you right he doesn't have his license but he has that
05:12big van
05:12okay yeah what do you think surfer girl help me build we transpo in your van oh bigger cars bigger
05:21jobs bigger dinero I think yeah that would be great all right we split everything down the middle 60 40
05:29yeah come on let's make some dog you're right yeah okay thank you all right Greg you did good
05:41you wanted to see me yes you've made me realize that by depriving myself I'm depriving the DMV it's so
05:49nice to be acknowledged but I don't know what I'm being acknowledged for I got a side hustle oh food
05:54delivery dog walking man walking it's a fetish I did it once twice why don't I wait and have you
06:00tell me self-gloves after having a conversation with my upstream liaison I have become a self-glove
06:08ambassador oh you see I made the bold choice to glove myself oh they smell weird what is this I
06:16don't
06:17think it's real oh it's funny you should say real because our unique system of gloves provides real
06:22results such as anti-aging relaxation and hip opening that that sounds impossible it was until
06:30now there's more once I start recruiting ambassadors for my team I start building a passive income stream
06:37it helps if you think of it as a pyramid Barb this is a multi-level marketing scheme they took
06:43advantage
06:44of you no I've taken advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity oh god this is financial freedom oh
06:52this is so
06:52bad don't worry I'm gonna call let me get you out of this read the pamphlet it's not good I'm
06:58going to
06:58become a millionaire oh my god oh honey it's working already uh Mr. Davenport I got your message about
07:05Leland's essay and I appreciate your suggestion but I'm not sure that nepotism is the most compelling form of
07:13adversity you're right what the hell also I don't think that throwing like a girl there's technically a
07:20disability but I will keep working on it
07:27did you uber to work uh yeah because I don't have my license you know that well how can you
07:32afford to uber so
07:33close to payday I you work at the DMV you don't have a side hustle you're in no rush to
07:40get your driver's license
07:41there's no sign of depression is as if you have money I thought you said your parents cut you off
07:47I said I cut them off and I did but I didn't cut Curtis off uh well explain it to
07:53me like I don't
07:54know who Curtis is because I don't know who Curtis is so so Curtis he's my family's business manager so
07:59he manages my finances and so you're still rich no no I'm not rich who pays your rent Curtis who
08:05pays
08:05your credit card Curtis when you bought your van you said that your bank account was wiped out yeah
08:11it was but then Curtis refilled it wow no bro don't be sleeping on the job day one we got
08:19bunk beds to
08:20build okay it's a little joke hey please can we keep this between us thank you mate yeah wow Noah's
08:31rich
08:32that explains the teeth the best things in life are free but you can give them to the birds and
08:41bees
08:41I want money that's what I want oh my god Colette did you hear that barb fell for some multi
08:50-level
08:50pyramid scheme and was trying to sell gloves to everybody in the office yeah I called and I try
08:55to get her out of it but turns out this one's legit oh my god I simply cannot do you
09:00know that
09:00feeling when winter ends and you shave your legs for the first time in three months and then you get
09:05in the clean sheets no no we don't even have winter here that's what it feels like when you put
09:10these
09:10on and the company is super impressive they have a dynamic business model structured around you being
09:16your own boss can't believe they got you too yeah they got me they got me a big opportunity to
09:21build
09:21my own business honestly sad I moved three units and already in the level two finger slinger on
09:27track to win a white Cadillac and a vacation in Cancun holiday weekends excluded restrictions apply
09:31my well I get sucked into one of these every week what's the cult leader's name I'll call and get
09:35you
09:35both out of it and does this Cadillac only come in white or could I get a custom color rose
09:42gold when
09:43you are talking my language girl buddy yeah you're taking apart the pieces that can't put together
09:50what's it's okay if you want to do this by yourself and then you can just use my van hey
09:56no away we're
09:58partners all right I'll teach you are you sure cuz I'm so slow at this hey no one's slower than
10:05me
10:05besides you probably need the money even more than I do you all right Greggy yeah I'm just getting a
10:13little annoyed at the rich kid in my essay mmm your test drive is here oh perfect I'll have him
10:21go
10:21through the drive-thru and grab us some burgues then we can hop on this bed and start screwing okay
10:28sweet what are you doing anticipating my birdie you're also walking around in poor face acting
10:34like someone who needs money when you don't you're like Leland in this essay working in the kitchen at
10:40his country club in order to get inspiration for his student film hey it's offensive I didn't mean it
10:46like that well you need to tell Vic the truth I feel like that's a really hard conversation to have
10:51yeah well if you don't have it I will that would be amazing thank you so much man oh what
10:58a relief
10:59okay I'm sorry I noticed you from across the room are you an entrepreneur do you want to be what
11:09if I
11:09told you that everything you need to be successful is right in the palm of your glove the entry-level
11:17package is called Glovely ladies oh my god since I have had such a lovely time chatting with you if
11:22you sign up right now I'll even give you a cuticle mask for free which I'm not allowed to do
11:26so don't
11:26tell my boss girl just kidding I am my own boss hello look at this here water man water man
11:32you won't
11:33regret this if my lover came home with a pair of gloves like that and a new passive income haha
11:39we'd
11:39be playing choose your own adventure that night you know what I mean have fun kids oh there you
11:48are listen I wanted to talk to you oh dude check this out whoops business cards cool right why so
11:56big so people don't lose them duh it's like a gas station bathroom key brilliant uh listen about Noah
12:02yeah yeah you know what thanks for suggesting I take him on first I was just using him for his
12:07van but
12:08I really like teaching him it's nice helping people yeah it's uh something we don't get to do working
12:15here at the DMV anyways thanks for putting the two strap studs together bro oh but you were saying
12:20something about Noah um damn it's nothing what are you humming oh the theme song oh let me hear it
12:27um it's
12:28like do you need a stud maybe two we got two strap studs for you that answers every question
12:38somebody would ask about two strap studs it's a little long need some help from two guys well
12:47we can be those guys and if you don't need that help I sold four pairs of my family text
12:56chain all
12:56to my aunts it's crazy should we ask for time off now for the self glove conference in June Galveston
13:01is
13:02beautiful I hear you know that I'm 12 pairs away from getting free registration but then I'm out
13:07while I'm on top of the pyramid oh it feels so good to finally become the woman I knew I
13:13could be
13:14isn't it so crazy that this is the last month we have to worry about payday I evicted my tenants
13:19last night we all yelled and cried but it was so worth it to sleep in my bed again this
13:23time next
13:23month the DMV is going to be our side hustle I know it's like should I have a baby no
13:28I can afford
13:28it now hmm yeah that's what I thought hey ladies hey Barbie hey Barb so glad I got us all
13:36involved in
13:36this we love it quick question on a scale from one to fire ants how weird do your hands feel
13:42oh my god no
13:46nothing not like that I know they're stinging bad you must have done something weird okay like like
13:52gardens or pet a kitten or something that cannot be from our superior glove product no it can't be
13:57for me because if it were that would be bad I'm gonna have to take your word for me because
14:03I can't
14:04actually feel my hands I already have a foot thing now I got a hand thing pull it together you
14:09two okay
14:10no more negative talk but I was certified by the state of fly rhoda this is not the self-gloved
14:16language
14:16that launches into a new stratosphere of self-growth oh my god I'm hearing it now too
14:33no I don't think we should tell Vic the truth just yet what truth oh well this predictably blew up
14:43in my face the truth is I'm the one no no wait hold on a second this is mine
14:50to tell Vic the truth is I Greg and I are in love yes what that owes me 30 bucks
14:59no Noah is rich
15:01I'm not rich I just I have a safety net you know how some rich people think they're not rich
15:07because
15:07there's richer people yeah well Noah has a Curtis is that like a Leland my family is wealthy yeah
15:16like you've been jet skiing well it's the only thing to do at our private lake so you don't need
15:22a side hustle look no I don't need a side hustle but I like doing this with you but you
15:27don't need it
15:29just like I don't need you mate no come on just gotta bend a little bit first lick it
15:43dang heavy card stuff
15:48betrayed by my muscles and my friend
15:54okay Luann I see I just find it a little funny that the rewards are printed in big bold letters
15:59on the front while the warnings about skin lesions are buried in a word search on the back
16:03I just want to know what you plan to do to right this wrong
16:07what did you say oh Luann you better watch where your husband goes and you know what
16:12just for that I'm not gonna reverse the hex I put on your family
16:17so like an 80% refund or we signed away all of our rights to even complain I know that
16:23I got us
16:23into all this but let's not point fingers because we can't I think the important thing is that no
16:28one could have seen this coming you guys payday is still days away how's anyone gonna take me
16:33seriously as a palm reader when these gloves literally erased my lifeline mine smell I went into
16:38credit card debt for this it's like cooking the skin oh I guess I'm having willpower for dinner
16:43Barb it's with deep humility that I ask will you teach us your military preservation techniques
16:51it would be my highest honor first things first you do not want to eat your hair it will clog
16:57your
16:57drains like you cannot even imagine
17:03hey Vic I'm really sorry I lied to you I don't care that you lied nobody lies more than me
17:10I love lying
17:10lying's the best we should lie more I'm just bummed Noah's not who I thought he was I mean is
17:17he even
17:17British well actually he's from New yeah you know what he is still British I feel so stupid no I
17:24thought
17:25I was teaching him you are and just because he's rich doesn't change that look Noah has zero survival
17:32skills he's like Leland wait that's it he has faced adversity his parents they never expected
17:41anything from him they won't even let him write his own college essay so maybe we all have more in
17:46common than not you think no but it makes a great essay oh hey Vic I know you might be
17:54mad at me but I I do need
17:56some help with this I don't patronize me you don't know how to use a hammer no I do I
18:01just I don't
18:02know how to unglue it from my hand like it's like it's stuck okay come on rich guy hey is
18:12it okay if we
18:12go back to new guy undecided Berge's on you this time that's that's fair now get a little nail polish
18:21remover two strap studs
18:26together again
18:29the best things in life were free but you can give them to the birds and bees I want money
18:39all right nice blended mocha mocha chauzet pew pew strawberry buttermilk extra sweet that's me oh my god
18:45it feels so good to have cash again I know I bought a homeless skincare routine this morning
18:51can you tell oh no I bought a woman's robe because it was the first ad I saw after I
18:57got paid
18:57geez you wonder why everybody's broke at the end of the month well not everyone I still can't believe he
19:03doesn't
19:04have to work here yeah he does it because he likes it sick bastard so how rich you think we're
19:09talking
19:10like stairs in the house mmm probably elevators oh look a hospital I wonder if he's in the market for
19:1660 pairs of defective gloves
19:18don't waste your time he has to run all of his expenses by his money manager whose motto is ignore
19:24the fun in trust fund
19:26of course we get the nice rich guy who can't spend any of his money on us it actually all
19:31makes sense now like he's sheltered
19:33he's a little naive that's why he wasn't into me I'm too exotic and street smart for him
19:39oh yeah all right okay yeah hi hi you know it makes sense why he threw away a perfectly good
19:47stapler
19:48yeah he doesn't know you have to refill things that's why he wears those ugly sandals he probably
19:53doesn't know how to tie his own shoes yeah well guess you're not the office dummy anymore Greg
19:59collect tell me more about these gloves yeah well walk with me how do you feel about deep exfoliation
20:06congrats man you built bunk beds thanks man oh I was talking to me but congrats to you too you
20:13watched me build bunk beds yeah hey I still have one question oh the birds are the boys the bees
20:18are the
20:19girls no what's the point in having two beds like stacked on top of each other you can only sleep
20:24in one at a
20:24time so it's like come on bro sometimes people have to share a room oh so it's going on a
20:31bunk well I ah dibs on top bunk okay
20:43I think we missed a few parts
20:48do you need a stud do you perhaps need two studs two strap studs they're coming for you you got
20:57stuff you've gotta do you need some help from two guys well we can be those guys
21:10that's good
21:11there are
21:11I love it
21:12well
21:13well
21:13well