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00:12All right, Winthrop and associates, settle down.
00:15We've much to discuss in this, my last week before retirement.
00:19Where are Pringus and Bench?
00:20I don't know.
00:21Where are they, Melissa?
00:23You're their wife.
00:24I'm their fiancé.
00:25I mean, I'm Bench's fiancé.
00:27I'm only marrying one of them, thank God.
00:30God wouldn't keep us apart, Melissa, but I bet you'd be yelling his name.
00:35My home dogs.
00:37Sorry we're late, everyone.
00:38Happy hour turned into happy 12 hours.
00:41And pukey next morning.
00:43Disgusting.
00:44Disgusting?
00:45Are we talking about Chase's botched circumcision?
00:49Points.
00:50You're swimming with the sharks.
00:51Season up big cheese.
00:53But when it's big boys out, can you play the right keys?
00:56Now you're in the big leagues, bucking with the big boys.
00:59Disgusting with the big boys.
01:00Oh, yeah.
01:01Running with the big dogs, buying all the big toys.
01:07I can't believe I'm about to marry my former paralegal slash best friend's ex slash the love of my life
01:14and move to DC to start my lifetime appointment on the Supreme Court.
01:18Well, I opened Malibu's first beachside law office.
01:23Slash dueling guitar bar slash slash will make an appearance.
01:27Wow, there wasn't already one of those?
01:29Slash you're stupid.
01:30Ignoring you.
01:31But not before we finally beat our rival attorneys, Grizzellini and Fjords, in the big case against Omni Incorporated.
01:39Yes, well, about that.
01:41I've got some bad news.
01:43The judge found a conflict of interest.
01:45Apparently, Omni is secretly owned by Pringus' evil ex-stepdad.
01:51You're off the case.
01:52But I resolved that trauma two years ago.
01:54So, no epic last case, I guess?
01:57Ah, worry not, Bengus, my one-word nickname for you, too.
02:01You'll be defending a friend of mine, the inventor of Toilet 2.
02:06They've been market-testing it in Las Vegas, and something about the revolutionary new bowel evacuation technology seems to be
02:12putting people into comas.
02:13Ha-ha! You're going out on the toilet.
02:16Uh, like Elvis.
02:20A class-action suit is being brought by some billboard knuckleheads out of Sin City.
02:25Um, Gumb and Flambe.
02:28One of them is a magician.
02:29They practice law on the strip.
02:32Ugh, what could be dumber than a magician in a law office?
02:36Here are those documents and vintage Playboys you wanted.
02:39My home dogs.
02:40Oh, thanks, Filer.
02:41Okay, so instead of defeating our rival firm in a deeply personal final case, we're defending a morally suspect toilet
02:48company against them.
02:51Oh, oh, no, no, no.
02:52It'll be sick.
02:53I mean, after years of hitting no-look jumpers, Pringus and Bench are going to end on a slam dunk.
02:59Oh!
03:00Ooh, looks like someone's not getting laid tonight.
03:04It's Chase.
03:06It is always Chase.
03:08The only thing this indoor skydiving studio is guilty of is showing its customers the magic of flight.
03:19Uh, uh-oh!
03:20Sheila, how many doves did you use?
03:23I don't know!
03:26I know a best man isn't supposed to say this, but I'm speechless.
03:31Didn't we meet these bozos at the lawyer awards?
03:33Who can remember slash care?
03:36You know, this magic crap might fly in little old Vegas, but this is Carson City, and we're real Versace
03:42suit-wearing law dogs.
03:44We're going to be wiping them off the soles of our Versace lofures.
03:48Give it up!
03:50All right.
03:51We'd better get to work.
03:52Yeah, this case is going to require a lot of research.
03:56But first, cronies!
04:05Pringus, Bench, would you like to review the Toilet 2 documents I compiled for you?
04:11Uh, after we get back, okay, buddy?
04:14Yeah, hey, while we're gone, try not to get the photocopier pregnant.
04:19Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, good one, guys.
04:22I'm gonna miss you.
04:23Oh, we're gonna miss you too, Filer.
04:26Yeah, don't get so lonely you have oral sex with the friggin' water cooler!
04:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, got me again!
04:37Here are to thy groanies, my lieges.
04:40Oh, Piper, you've been like a bartender, therapist, and occasional sex partner rolled into one.
04:46This place sure won't be the same without us.
04:48If you mean it'll smell less like Elon Musk's filled cologne, then yeah.
04:53Nice.
04:54A lot of memories, like the year you dated Lucy Liu.
04:58Or when that one-armed frat boy claimed to be your son.
05:00Or when you promised your fiancé you'd cut down the guest list over lunch and then went to the bar.
05:06Why did I even bother checking your office first?
05:09Melissa Coldsherry, if you were looking for me, you should have just checked your bedroom.
05:14Nice.
05:15Don't you mean our bedroom?
05:16Or is it my bedroom because that's where I friggin' own you?
05:20Nice.
05:21Maybe I'm so turned on by your Ice Queen act I can't think straight.
05:25Nice.
05:26Hmm, having trouble with straightness?
05:28Aw, maybe I'm marrying the wrong lawyer.
05:31Nice.
05:31Speaking of straight.
05:33Let me guess, you've got an erection.
05:34Nice.
05:35Guilty.
05:36Nice.
05:36Guilty?
05:37What am I, one of your clients?
05:38Nice.
05:40Funny, I thought you were opposing counsel because I'm about to friggin' rail you.
05:44Okay, you two need to get back to work.
05:45But first, Bench, you'd better make out with me before I make Pringus watch me shove that groany up your
05:51bro hole.
05:52Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice!
05:55Thanks for the groanies, but we gotta go.
05:57Not without one last song.
06:00Woo!
06:02Nice.
06:14Let's give him the old Carson City welcome.
06:17Hey there.
06:19Pringus and Bench.
06:20Just a heads up, we've never lost a case, so there's no shame in giving up now.
06:25Yeah, no shame, except your outfits.
06:28Well, just a heads up for you, Buster Brown, we're amazing.
06:34I'm even over mommy's death.
06:36I've totally processed the death of my boyfriend's puppet.
06:39My name's Glim, I command an army of crows.
06:42And my pussy is less broken than ever.
06:45Sailor.
06:47I can't believe this is my last opening arguments with my beloved Pringus and Bench.
06:54Take it away, home dogs.
06:56Ladies and gentlemen, why do people go to Las Vegas?
06:59Why, to gamble, of course.
07:01But also, spectacle!
07:03And Toilet 2 is a high-tech marvel of bowel evacuation technology.
07:08It is a spectacle.
07:10And yeah, it has a small chance of possibly putting some people into a coma, making it a bit of
07:16a gamble.
07:17A small chance at a long nap?
07:19I wish all Vegas odds were that good.
07:23They shouldn't call it Toilet 2.
07:25They should call it the jackpot!
07:30You're up, John Arbuckle.
07:32My name is Lincoln.
07:36Back in little old Vegas, we have a few traditions, including magic.
07:43Sheila?
07:44Okay!
07:45I'm gonna need some personal items from the audience.
07:47Watches, keychains, wallets.
07:49Don't worry, it'll be fun!
07:50Uh, objection, Your Honor?
07:53For robbing the freaking jury?
07:55This better be going somewhere.
07:57No, it's going somewhere, all right.
08:01Ta-da!
08:02I made your stuff disappear!
08:04See how bad it feels when you lose an important part of yourself to a toilet?
08:09But, unlike the heartless creators of Toilet 2, we're not criminals, which is why we'll give
08:15you everything back.
08:19All we ask is that Toilet 2 also be made to pay back what it took from our clients.
08:26Everything.
08:27Wait a sec.
08:29Everything's soaked with toilet water!
08:31My watch is ruined!
08:33My phone is dead.
08:34Was there pee in there?
08:35I am incredibly pissed off!
08:39Oh!
08:41A party foul!
08:46Oh, that is something.
08:49Ah! Stop laughing gum and flumbe!
08:51This is not for you!
08:58You know, this last ride might be more fun than I thought.
09:01Uh, you think?
09:03Something tells me Pringus and Bench are going out on...
09:07What the hell, kid?
09:09Wait, you're that Vegas girl.
09:11The one from the courtroom today.
09:12Irene.
09:13Irene Gum.
09:14What are you doing here?
09:16Oh, I don't know.
09:17Where I work is so weird and gross.
09:20You guys are, like, fun and light.
09:22I want to be the kind of person who fits in here.
09:24Can I have a job?
09:25And you think you've got what it takes to bump with the big boys.
09:29Uh, hold up.
09:30Could be good to have an inside man.
09:33You want our inside man to be an inside girl?
09:36Sounds like this dude is scared to be inside a girl.
09:41Damn, solid quip, Vegas.
09:44Okay, someone has to keep things cool around here after we're gone.
09:47You're hired.
09:48Yes!
09:50Huh.
09:52Mmm, you look happy.
09:54What are you up to?
09:55Oh, nothing.
09:55Maybe I'm just excited for your fiancé's bachelor party.
09:59You know something.
09:59I'm on to you.
10:00But she'll never be on you.
10:03Speaking of scoring, we're crushing our case.
10:07Let's just say the opposition's a few ice cubes short of a groanie.
10:13Sorry, sorry. Ignore me.
10:15Okay, I was gonna say they're missing more than the ice.
10:18They're missing the whole damn glass.
10:20Oh, sorry.
10:22Does everyone else see that muscular vampire?
10:24Yes, Lazarus, she's Irene, the new intern.
10:29Anyway, we're not worried.
10:31We have a problem.
10:32The toilet two patients are waking up.
10:35Uh, isn't that a good thing?
10:38Well...
10:39Wait, what actually happened to these people?
10:42It seems their minds were wiped clean of all memory.
10:45Ha!
10:46Been there.
10:48Very funny, Bench.
10:49She was a gifted brain surgeon, actually.
10:52You know, the victim you just made light of.
10:55Okay, that's not great, but we've tried harder cases.
11:00Remember Grenadine Hills?
11:01Yes, we falsified evidence to win.
11:04Whoa, whoa, whoa.
11:05We massaged the evidence.
11:07Don't worry, I know where his factory reset button is.
11:11But you still can't find mine.
11:15Oh, my God!
11:18Filer, how do you do it?
11:20Simple.
11:21First, you put your right hand in, then you...
11:23I'm sorry, you activated my Hokey Pokey mode.
11:27See?
11:27That's so light-hearted.
11:29Ugh, how do you all fit together so well?
11:31Our eccentricities fill each other's gaps.
11:33That's what a found family is.
11:36I get it.
11:37God, this place makes me feel like...
11:39Maybe everything will be okay.
11:41Light detector passed.
11:43You are not a spy.
11:44You do love Pringus and Bench.
11:46I really do.
11:48Hey, remember that thing Pringus did where he like...
11:50Fuck!
11:50Oh, I mean, damn!
11:52Sorry!
11:52I get nervous and clumsy when I think about how great it is here.
11:55I assure you, that is a normal reaction to Pringus and Bench.
12:04Doctor, is it uncommon to experience memory loss in Las Vegas?
12:09Well, when you put it that way, I guess not.
12:12Yeah, I can attest to that.
12:14Woke up married to this guy once.
12:17That's a night I'm glad I don't remember.
12:20No more questions.
12:26Doctor, when you approved this toilet, did you know it was more dangerous than a, a, a freaking...
12:34Help me, Sheila.
12:35Um, Hitler masturbating.
12:37Dressed like a sexy cow.
12:39Uh...
12:39Abracadazzle!
12:41What?
12:42We also had sex, and we both came thrice.
12:46Oh, you all loved it when they joked about it.
12:50Gum.
12:50Flumbady.
12:51Shame on you.
12:54Smooth move, Vegas.
12:56And for the record, my hair is more ash blonde with honey highlights.
13:00Well, normally, my niece helps with the costumes, but...
13:04You stole her!
13:06Okay.
13:07Truths.
13:08We don't let bad vibes linger.
13:10We like to do this thing whenever we go up against a new law firm, where we go get a
13:14drink, we talk shop, we call it groanies with the competition.
13:19Why don't you guys come to my bachelor party?
13:22And this isn't some kind of ploy to get us drunk and groom us like a dog in a big
13:27sink and take pictures?
13:29No.
13:30Then we'll be there.
13:34Glem!
13:35Oh!
13:36I dozed off there for a second.
13:38Well, that's Carson City heroin for ya.
13:42What did you just do?
13:43How are you so strong?
13:44Stay away from those people!
13:46She's got those free solo fingers!
13:48No!
13:48You're not listening!
13:50They're gonna try to groom you like a dog in a big sink and take pictures or something.
13:54Let me protect you.
13:55It's okay if you're going somewhere raunchy.
13:57I'll wear my underage blindfold.
13:58Not that I can't handle eroticism.
13:59I watched the X-rated Hot Dates movie twice because I think I'm in love with Rebecca.
14:03I haven't heard of any of those horrible sounding things.
14:07We'll be fine, kid.
14:08We're a Pringus and Bench.
14:16Ah, crap balls.
14:18Excellent office-appropriate swearing, Irene.
14:21Thanks, but I'm worried, Fylar.
14:23Me and my uncle don't belong in your world.
14:25I can feel myself ruining things.
14:26Like earlier today!
14:28Oh, whoops!
14:29Didn't mean to interrupt.
14:30You didn't.
14:31Uh, it's just that you guys have such a great love-hate office romance going.
14:35You must be dying to kiss each other.
14:38Oh, or, or start fighting.
14:41I love that you guys just fight all the time.
14:43Like, it just makes sense, you know?
14:45Why wouldn't your soulmate be the person that takes you down a peg at work and at home forever?
14:52Am I contagious?
14:53Have I brought cigarettes into the Garden of Eden?
14:56Irene, let me tell you something.
14:58The fact that you love Pringus and Bench means you do belong here.
15:02Oh, Fylar, can I hug you?
15:05Permission to hug?
15:07Granted.
15:10Oh, my first day of retirement.
15:13You know, Chase, I may have been hard on you, but...
15:22Oh, no. Oh, God!
15:24It's okay, Irene. It was an accident.
15:27Just break the cycle. Tell us the truth. We'll forgive you.
15:29It'll be a nice, happy ending.
15:32No! Do something stupid and ugly to cover your own ass!
15:36Lie! Lie to everyone!
15:40Cowboys are opposite of Sith Lords.
15:45Fylar killed himself!
15:47He jumped out the window and landed on Mr. Winthrop!
15:50I found his note.
15:51He couldn't take your cruel robot jokes anymore.
15:55It's... his handwriting.
15:57Maybe this is just a traditional English pre-wedding prank.
16:01Very funny, Lazarus.
16:07We lost two great men this week.
16:09Lazarus was... a titan.
16:12And Fylar was...
16:16A beautiful soul and...
16:19Bench!
16:19I want to go with him!
16:23No! Bad!
16:24We're Pringus and goddamn bitch!
16:27We... don't... lose!
16:29Look, you're gonna get married,
16:31we're gonna win this stupid goddamn toilet case,
16:33and everything will turn out how it is supposed to!
16:37And I'll see all you assholes at the goddamn grody zone tonight,
16:42and we will have normal... fun!
16:45So help me, God!
16:52I can fix this.
16:53I must... fix this!
17:00We should fire that creepy intern.
17:02Well, Chase, you know, inherited the firm, so she's his problem now, right?
17:09Right. I forgot. We're leaving.
17:11Yeah, for better things.
17:13Now, what do you say?
17:14We let loose and show these people a good time, huh?
17:18To Pringus and Bench!
17:21Folks, it's been a...
17:24rough week.
17:25But if tonight is gonna be epic, I...
17:28Hi, crinkly clams!
17:30This place smells like a rich lady's ponytail!
17:39Oh, no, hot clams!
17:41Oh, thank God. It was just a dream, but...
17:43Why am I so hungover?
17:46How many cronies did I...
17:47My friend's a doctor. She told me,
17:49if you drink it in this position, you'll get way drunker.
17:53Teenagers discovered it.
17:54It's why you see less and less of them these days.
17:57Bench.
17:58What happened last night?
18:00Did we make it to the axe-throwing place?
18:02Welcome to the place.
18:02Paradise!
18:03Can you believe this place is completely owned and run by active fugitives?
18:08I don't know.
18:09Seriously, Pringus, what did we do?
18:11Are we bad people?
18:13Yeah, we'll figure it out after the wedding.
18:16Oh, God! The wedding!
18:18We're late!
18:19Bench, we gotta go now!
18:20Oh, my God! Where are the tuxes?
18:24Hungover and late to my own wedding.
18:26You know, this actually feels like classic us for the first time,
18:29and I've never seen this part of my body without a mirror.
18:32Well, welcome to the party, pal!
18:34Oh, God.
18:35Did I cheat on Melissa?
18:37Bench!
18:37Our priorities need to be wedding, then case, then reckoning with our horrible truths.
18:43Okay?
18:44You're right! You're right! Let's go!
18:46First time you kill a man, you're killing the you that never did that.
18:49After, you're just rearranging who's above and who's below.
18:53Take it from me, sweet Tomas.
18:55Pringus, who is sweet Tomas?
18:57Do not say his name!
19:11Pringus and Benchelmen, we gather here...
19:14Any later for this wedding, Benchyboy, and this would've become your funeral.
19:18My entire universe is spiraling away from me, and you're the one piece of wreckage I can cling to.
19:24We love each other, right?
19:27Oh, thank God! Ever since we talked to that weird intern, I have been spiraling. Let's call it off!
19:32Well, hold on. Maybe we could...
19:34No, this is right. And I learned something else about myself last night.
19:38Ooh, Melissa. Dirty rodents don't belong in nice office buildings. What's an exterminator to do?
19:45Like all workaholic lawyers, I crave kinky, exterminator-themed sex.
19:51Yeah, baby!
19:52But Bench, this is good! We're free! We have the rest of our lives ahead of us.
19:56You can go to DC, and I...
19:59I fixed everything!
20:01I brought Violet back! I do belong with all of you, see?
20:05Demon!
20:13No!
20:15Grab balls.
20:19Crazy week, huh?
20:21The only reason we're here is that Pringus and Bench don't lose cases.
20:24Otherwise, I'd grab the bailiff's gun and kill you. Then myself.
20:28He probably wouldn't mind. In Vegas, I shoot guns in court all the time.
20:34Uh, I tried to be normal and likable, and people died.
20:38Normal's just a street in Los Angeles, kid. And guess what I found when I went there?
20:42This weird human tooth. And it belongs here.
20:46With us! Like you!
20:49It's good to be back.
20:51We'll hear closing arguments now.
20:55You know what? Toilet 2 is dangerous.
20:58And it puts people in comas and erases their minds. Testing it on humans would be cruel.
21:06But I submit, these Vegas people, they aren't human.
21:10They don't react normally to, like, the most basic things. It's like they don't have souls.
21:15Oh, do go on.
21:16It's against their nature to let something just be sweet and fun and airy.
21:22They have to make it dark and strange and crass.
21:26So let's put their broken minds where they belong. In the toilet.
21:32Bangus rests.
21:35That's it? All right. Next.
21:39Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I admit that I was having trouble thinking of how to close this case.
21:44But then, someone gave me an incredible idea.
21:53Six chambers, one bullet. Not good odds, wouldn't you say?
21:57Mr. Gum, what are you doing?
21:59Shut up! This is a full circle thing for us!
22:01More than 20% of all Toilet 2 users get their brains turned into potato salad.
22:07Worse odds than Russian roulette!
22:10If you're okay with Toilet 2, then you're okay with watching me pull the trigger.
22:16Shall I?
22:18Oh, my God! Stop it! I hate this!
22:21The gun is metaphor for toilet!
22:24We know!
22:25But it's more than that.
22:27It's a metaphor for the risk of not being yourself.
22:31We came to your big city court and tried to change who we were to be like Pringus and Bench.
22:38But we're not, and that's okay.
22:41I'll never let some popular big shots take away who I am.
22:46And you shouldn't let some fancy toilet take away who Vegas is.
22:52Because freaks need stuff to enjoy, too.
22:55I rest my rootin' tootin' case.
22:58Oh, whoops.
23:00That is enough, Mr. Gum.
23:02Pringus and Bench are incredibly highly rated members of this community.
23:05Which makes what you just said even more awesome!
23:10Striplaw wins!
23:13Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw!
23:30Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw!
23:31Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw!
23:32Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Striplaw! Stri
23:54Ready. Ready.
24:20Have you terminated your experience, Toilette?
24:24Have you terminated?
24:25We did it!
24:26Woohoo!
24:26Thanks to the power of friendship.
24:28Bring it in.
24:31Glem?
24:33Are you okay?
24:35I don't feel so good.
24:37I-I feel like...
24:41Oh my god.
24:43This win must have given him enough experience.
24:47He's...
24:47evolving!
24:52GLEM evolved into GLEMISIMO!
24:58GLEMISIMO!
25:01GLEMISIMO!
25:02GLEMISIMO!
25:03GLEMISIMO!
25:05GLEMISIMO!
25:05So I guess GLEM is just like this now?
25:09GLEMISIMO!
25:09GLEMISIMO!
26:13Chirp.
27:08Chirp.
27:22Chirp.
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