00:00Even the cartoonists bailed on it.
00:02They're like, there's no caption for this.
00:04Let me give it to the rubes who are doing the contest
00:07and see if they can do my job for me.
00:11The first thing that strikes me about this cartoon,
00:13and I like it, is that it's half in color,
00:16half in black and white.
00:17It's a subway station and we've got a subway sandwich
00:20entering the station.
00:25I thought the subway would be late.
00:27I didn't expect it to be toasted.
00:32You've got house cats sitting on a couch, watching TV.
00:37They're looking at a tiger in mid swipe,
00:40the way we humans would look at an action star.
00:46I'm not impressed.
00:47All these Hollywood types are on steroids.
00:50If you could see what I'm seeing right now,
00:53you would never enter another New Yorker
00:55Cartoon Caption Contest because she's sitting there like this.
01:00She's sitting over there, scowling at me.
01:03She's doing this a lot.
01:07This feels more comedic to me.
01:09It's a news anchor, agitated, talking on a cup with a string attached to it.
01:16That's how kids communicate, with the cup and the string, right?
01:22This just in, Susie,
01:27is a poopy head.
01:31More after the break.
01:34All right, what we have here is a bunch of adults and a couple of kids on a playground.
01:40And the adults are sliding down a slightly larger slide.
01:44This guy's just got a crazy eye.
01:46He's got one crazy eye.
01:47He looks a little bit like Marty Feldman.
01:50New Yorker audiences will know who Marty Feldman is.
01:55Ignore your inner child, Bobby.
01:57Focus on your inner Marty Feldman.
02:01So what we got here is a swashbuckler.
02:05One might even describe this fella as a buccaneer.
02:08And he's in a donut shop, dressed in his full pirate finery.
02:13And the lady behind the counter is saying something that doesn't seem to be sitting too well with the buccaneer.
02:25I think she's saying, sorry, we don't take cash.
02:29Good job, Michael.
02:31You made one joke.
02:33So that was, that was Michael Ian Black trying to do captions to the New Yorker cartoon caption contest.
02:39It revealed to me what I already suspected, which is I have no business making a career for myself in
02:47comedy.
02:48I suspected it, and it was confirmed for me here today.
02:51If you want to enter this, and you think that you can do better than me, and why wouldn't you
03:01think that, you can play along.
03:04You can enter at newyorker.com slash contest.
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