00:00Hi, I'm Bowen Yang.
00:01And I'm Matt Rogers.
00:04I'm sorry.
00:06Hi, I'm Bowen Yang.
00:08And I'm Matt Rogers.
00:09And we're doing the New Yorker mini interview.
00:11I did a hard T on interview.
00:13Interview.
00:14Interview.
00:14They can figure it out in post.
00:16Just put that all together.
00:23Would you like to reach first?
00:25I'll reach first.
00:26Hold on, I've got my keys, some loose cigarettes,
00:28and I have my question.
00:30I keep telling them, just buy a whole pack.
00:33Matt, the New Yorker has an expansive vocabulary,
00:36but we recently learned words such as looks maxing,
00:39chopped, and unk.
00:40What is a word that you have just learned?
00:42Okay, frame mog.
00:44Yes.
00:45I did not know what this was.
00:47It actually is kind of intuitive to mog the frame.
00:50Like, I don't-
00:51What's intuitive about mogging the frame?
00:53I don't know.
00:54There's something about the word mog where,
00:56if I'm picturing into my head,
00:57it is someone like going like-
00:59Do you know the-
00:59Do you know the etymology of mog?
01:01No.
01:01So it's the shorthand for amog,
01:04which is alpha male of the group.
01:07And so mogging someone means like you're out alpha-ing someone.
01:10Okay, I just thought it was like a sort of Gen Z way to say photobomb.
01:14Right.
01:14And it has turned into that.
01:16But there's a masculinity element.
01:18There's like a really dark sort of, um, uh, there's a dark shorthand to it.
01:24So it's just another thing this year that's dark.
01:28Frame mog is dark.
01:29I was having fun with frame mog.
01:30I thought it was a fun new word.
01:31Now I find out it has dark etymology.
01:34This is what things like the New Yorker do.
01:36They tell you information that despairs you.
01:39Hey, New Yorker, I'd rather stay dumb.
01:42Hey, New Yorker, tell Eustace Tilly to buzz off.
01:47Get lost.
01:48Get lost, Eustace.
01:49Eustace.
01:50You're a guy.
01:51Oh god, it's been one question.
01:52I'm already over this.
01:53I'm over this.
01:54New Yorker, whatever.
01:56Okay, so it's my turn to pick out of the little bag.
01:59If you could edit out or add one thing on your Wikipedia page, what would that be?
02:05Oh gosh.
02:06Do you read your Wikipedia page to know what's on it?
02:08I don't.
02:09Me neither.
02:11Well, uh, here's what I would edit in.
02:15Another donation plea.
02:18Bowen.
02:21Please.
02:22Please.
02:23No, gosh.
02:24We tried to write an SNL sketch where it was like the CEO of Wikipedia showing up to your door.
02:29I mean, like, you're the only hope for information.
02:32But then, but no one got it, I guess.
02:35Well, it's because most people just get on Wikipedia and scroll right past
02:38that.
02:39And they don't think to donate to Wikipedia, but they do need your help.
02:42But they do need your help.
02:43Oh, here's what I would edit out.
02:45I think, um, a certain journalist at another publication of Repue.
02:49Get them.
02:51Maureen Dowd.
02:53Maureen, you're on burn notice.
02:54Said that I was a biochemistry major, which is not what I majored in.
02:57Simply Chem.
02:58Chemistry.
02:59Simply Chem.
03:00Speaking of this, you know what's on my Wikipedia and I don't know why or how?
03:05Right.
03:05My SAT scores.
03:07No.
03:08No.
03:08Which I'm not humiliated about, but I don't think people need to know.
03:13Like what?
03:14And how do that?
03:15That's the problem with having a podcast where you just talk and don't think about what you're
03:19saying is then that becomes information that can go on your Wikipedia.
03:22Now everyone knows about my 630 on math.
03:25But podcasts cannot be works cited.
03:29I'm sorry.
03:30We can't use podcasts in, I don't know, something as informationally vetted as Wikipedia.
03:37What would you rather have test score wise?
03:40You should have your AP English score.
03:42So get this.
03:43All my AP scores are on there.
03:45I think my ACT score is on there.
03:49Definitely my SATs.
03:51Here's the thing about Bowen's ACT score.
03:53He got a perfect score on the ACTs.
03:55And he's going to be like, we're going to cut it.
03:57We're going to cut it.
03:57This isn't about cutting from this.
03:59It's about cutting from Wikipedia.
04:01He got a 36 on the ACT.
04:02It's my answer.
04:03I got a 31.
04:06This isn't your answer.
04:07It's both.
04:08Are we both answering?
04:09Yeah.
04:10All right.
04:12So ask us a question for both of us.
04:15What is another category you would create or one that didn't make the cut for the
04:19Las Culturistas Culture Awards?
04:21Best sauce is in, right?
04:22Best sauce is in.
04:23The last category we added was best sauce.
04:26And it became one of our favorite categories.
04:28Yes.
04:29The nominees are meat.
04:31Well, red.
04:32Red.
04:32White.
04:33Oh, red, white, meat.
04:35Meat.
04:36Secret.
04:37Secret meat.
04:39I love secret meat.
04:41I love secret meat too.
04:42Like a Bolognese.
04:44That's a secret meat.
04:45Mystery meat sounds bad.
04:49Unless it's a movie with like, like a caper.
04:52Yes.
04:52Unless it's a caper with like Charlize Theron and Matt Damon.
04:57Not Matt Damon.
04:58Mark Wahlberg.
04:58Wait.
04:59Mark Wahlberg instead of Matt Damon?
05:01You want an Italian job too.
05:02I want an Italian job too.
05:03Or three.
05:05Mystery meat.
05:06What?
05:06Italian job three mystery meat is the craziest thing I've ever heard.
05:11But we want it.
05:13Allison, come on.
05:14Come on, Allison.
05:16Buy it.
05:18What is your New York pet peeve?
05:21Such as people walking too slowly, long lines, etc.
05:24Okay, can I tell you something?
05:26If you're gonna be on the streets with your phone, it's not that I'm like, don't do that,
05:31but know how to maneuver it if you're gonna do that.
05:33Like, I get it.
05:34People are on their phones in New York.
05:36Know and intuit where things are going.
05:39Like, develop that extra sense if you're gonna do it.
05:42A hundred percent.
05:43And for the love of Mary, don't stand in front of the subway entrance while you're doing that.
05:49No.
05:50And people did forget.
05:52It's like, people forgot that everyone comes off the subway first.
05:56Or maybe they just don't care anymore.
05:58They just don't care anymore.
05:59I think it's spilled over to elevator etiquette.
06:02I am gonna say tip your doorman.
06:05That's not a pet peeve though.
06:06People do that.
06:07And that's such a, ooh, ew.
06:09No, cut that out.
06:11The wealth jumped out.
06:13Everyone has a doorman, don't they?
06:15Tip your doorman.
06:17And another thing.
06:18In Delta One.
06:20I mean.
06:22Wait, wait, wait.
06:23Hold on.
06:23What's my New York, what's my New York pet peeve?
06:26The Christopher Street Pier.
06:28Let's just take it down a notch.
06:30Yeah, he needs it to be more like Delta One.
06:32I need it to be like Delta One.
06:34Where are the cane apes?
06:36Yeah, excuse me.
06:37Canapes.
06:38Name an unexpected duo that you would like to see co-host a podcast.
06:41I don't want to see an unexpected duo co-host a podcast.
06:44I want to see two friends who clearly have a bedrock of knowledge about each other,
06:49a shared history of pop culture, and I want to hear about their shared interests.
06:55I don't want to see...
06:57I want, um...
06:58Just kidding.
06:59Charlize Theron and Mark Wahlberg.
07:01That's good.
07:01For me, Malala and Scott Galloway.
07:08First of all, Malala is always top of mind for me.
07:11I...
07:11We love Malala!
07:13We do, and what you don't know is Scott Galloway is always top of mind for me.
07:16Ew.
07:17No, he shouldn't.
07:18He should be top of mind for anybody.
07:19No, I mean, he thinks he's fine.
07:21It's just like, he's top of mind for me.
07:22He's fine?
07:23He's fine.
07:24Name a song that is not already a gay anthem that you think should be.
07:28You know what I think the gays should take back?
07:30Um, cause I'm proud to be an American.
07:35Cause I do think it's a bop, and the Republicans are taking it.
07:38I know.
07:39Well, I feel like no one's taking it.
07:40No one's really singing it.
07:43I used to go to like baseball games when I was little,
07:45and they would do like a fireworks display, and the song was always,
07:48cause I'm proud to be an American.
07:51I used to get so hyped for it.
07:53The gayest that song ever was was season two of American Idol,
07:56when like the top 12 contestants sang that together.
07:58And I'll gladly stand up next to you, and I'll forget till today.
08:05Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land.
08:09God bless the USA!
08:13Hey!
08:14Never forget when they did the extra, hey!
08:18What is your most esoteric interest or hobby?
08:22Esoteric meaning like bespoke or niche or odd
08:26that would have to be explained to someone else.
08:29I've been saying this.
08:31It will never happen, but I want it to be my hobby.
08:34What?
08:35But it's just not possible in New York,
08:36unless you have, unless you have a huge...
08:38New York pet peeve bound.
08:39...space.
08:40I want to get into aquascaping so bad.
08:43Aquascaping?
08:44It's like landscaping, but you, you basically like,
08:47you basically design aquariums, aquaria.
08:51And it's, but, but people are like, so you want an aquarium?
08:53I was like, no, I don't want, you want a fish tank.
08:55I don't want any fish or, or, or I don't want any animal life.
08:59You want an environment.
09:00I want to be able to arrange pebbles and plants in water.
09:04You can do this.
09:04You need a, a legit fish tank.
09:07Well.
09:09And I'm not Lorne Michaels.
09:10Look where we are.
09:11Look where we are.
09:12Someone here has got to have a hook on a fish tank,
09:14and I'm not Lorne Michaels.
09:16He's like, does he have a fish tank?
09:17Lorne has a huge, you haven't heard about Lorne's fish tank?
09:19No.
09:20Kristen Wiig, her first meeting with Lorne Michaels,
09:22all she, all she remembers from that meeting is, wow,
09:24that's a huge fish tank.
09:25In his office?
09:26In his office, and it's still there.
09:27So there's an aquarium in 30 Rock.
09:29There's many aquariums, yeah, in 30 Rock,
09:31but the Lorne's aquarium is quite special.
09:33Okay, what's yours?
09:34Would you call, um, me watching YouTube videos of
09:39theme park and roller coaster construction and esoteric?
09:42Yes, absolutely.
09:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:44Absolutely.
09:44That's a great hobby.
09:45But like, and, and how do you?
09:46It calms me down.
09:48Like, whenever I feel like, ugh, the day has been too much,
09:51I'll go on like a POV of a roller coaster that I've never done,
09:55and I'll just go on it on the computer.
09:58That is my most esoteric hobby, right?
10:00Yeah, I think so.
10:01Because I don't have any other hobbies.
10:04Singing, performing.
10:05The way that I sing, sometimes it is esoteric.
10:07I love that you give it a long E sound.
10:10Esoteric.
10:10Whatever.
10:11Esoteric.
10:12Is there a right way?
10:13No, and that's the beauty of the English language.
10:16Esoteric.
10:18Although the New Yorker will put a fucking umlaut on it.
10:21Yeah, they'll be like, it's actually E-S and then O with the two dots above it.
10:27I'm sick of you.
10:29Yeah.
10:29I'm sick of y'all.
10:30We're sick of this.
10:31Let's get, let's get me to God's country.
10:37The Wall Street Journal.
10:38Why is that such an iconic thing to say?
10:41Because it's hilarious.
10:42Because, unfortunately, he ate.
10:44It's get me to God's country on top of like a blurry photo of his private jet.
10:48It's so amazing.
10:50It's incredible.
10:52That's, yeah.
10:53Get him in the chair.
10:55Him and, now this would be a good podcast.
10:59Morgan Wallen and us.
11:00And us.
11:01Morgan Wallen.
11:02Join Las Colts.
11:03Morgan Wallen and Malala.
11:05Get you to the devil's country.
11:07That I'm proud to be an American.
11:09Where at least I know I'm free.
11:12And I won't forget the man who died.
11:16Who gave that right to me.
11:18And I'd gladly stand up next to you.
11:21And defend her still today.
11:24Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land.
11:27Love this land.
11:28God bless the USA.
11:31USA.
11:34Pretty good.
11:36America 250.
11:37America 250.
11:38America is back.
11:40But you're back.
11:40Come on in, just wireless phone calls and 보.
11:40Yeah, I'm back.
11:40I have three guys to talk about that.
11:41About being down and up in the business plan.
11:42I'm back.
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