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Itll Be Alright On The Night S Episode 8 Engsub
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00:14Welcome, and in the next half hour, a fiery set, we're watching Greg Sweat,
00:25I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
00:30And a very loose pet.
00:38So let's commence the cock-ups.
00:42It's Deadly 60, presented by Steve Backshaw.
00:45He and his crew are in Uganda, looking for mountain gorillas, and they have to be quiet,
00:51as the slightest noise could scare them off.
00:54I can see the bushes moving just ahead of us.
00:58Kind of shaking, half with excitement and half with a little bit of trepidation.
01:02You know, when I watched Gorillas in the Mist, I never thought about what that mist was.
01:10Do you hear that?
01:17Yes, I think I can hear that.
01:19That's me, Nick.
01:24For animals who don't like noise, they certainly make plenty of it.
01:29Bad milk plastic.
01:32I wouldn't make fun of them, Steve.
01:43Yeah, that was quite a left hook.
01:46I'm quite glad it didn't go a couple of inches to the right.
01:52Bad education, where comedy is a serious business.
01:56No other cast could be this straight-faced when it comes to singing the word microwave.
02:18Love Island, and it's going to be another sunny day.
02:21So sunny that everyone is already wearing their sunglasses.
02:24I hope they don't struggle to see what they're doing.
02:30Ow!
02:33I wonder what's more painful, a broken heart or a stubbed toe?
02:39Ow!
02:44Plebs!
02:44And they say Rome wasn't built in a day.
02:46And by the looks of things, this scene wasn't filmed in a day either.
02:50They wake up in the morning.
02:52Kiss me.
02:53Oh, what?
02:54No.
02:56I didn't certainly.
02:58Sorry.
02:59Come on, lads, keep it together, you Roman soldiers.
03:03All right, no one dies from green bum, OK?
03:05Of course they do.
03:06I've got bum rot, mate.
03:08I've got a classic case of bum rot.
03:11To finish filming, you may need less funny lines.
03:16In Two Doors Down, I'm slightly suspicious that this prop wine might actually be real wine.
03:23Here, Eric, can I ask you a question?
03:29What?
03:30What's my next line?
03:34The BBC's hugely successful sitcom Ghosts, written by the all-star cast.
03:40But when you've written it yourself, you only have yourself to blame.
03:45As there haven't been any dead bear attacks in this house in the last 600 years,
03:49I'm going to go out on a limb and say there's probably not about to be one come crashing down.
03:53I'm going to say that again.
03:54I'm going to go out on a limb and say there's not about to be a bear come crashing down.
03:59What is it?
04:00Try again.
04:02I'm going to go out on a limb and say there's probably not about to be a bear come...
04:06Whoa!
04:07Who wrote that?
04:08You all did.
04:12Billy and Greg, The Family Diaries.
04:14And it can be gruelling filming a TV show, can't it?
04:18Well, no, not really.
04:20Not in the Maldives.
04:22You haven't put them on properly, mate, have you?
04:23Do you want me to sort it out for you?
04:25One's at the back, but one's at the back.
04:26Oh, one's at the back.
04:29Oh, no.
04:33I hope the film crew took out travel insurance.
04:38What happened there? I'll put it on the stand.
04:42I'm no expert, but I'd say that tall camera mount made it a bit top-heavy.
04:49Aw.
04:50Dad.
04:50It's broke.
04:51Oh, my God.
04:54Oh, it's not the right footwear to be doing this in.
04:56I think you might be better off in flippers.
05:00Oh, no.
05:00Hang on.
05:01I think the bike...
05:01I think I broke the bike.
05:02Yes.
05:02Yes.
05:11Some food-based fiascos, now.
05:14Just please let me know in advance if you have any allergies.
05:16I've got a house, babe.
05:17No.
05:18I'll tell you later on.
05:19Here's some chocolate ones coming out.
05:21Lovely.
05:22Are they a bit burnt?
05:24A little bit scorched.
05:26I didn't want to say anything.
05:28No, I got in before.
05:33I've seen more edible-looking rocks on the Giant's Causeway.
05:37How long were they in the oven for?
05:39They're supposed to be in for 10 minutes, 10 to 12 minutes.
05:42And what were they in for?
05:43Slightly longer.
05:44I was making these other ones.
05:49Then I'll wait for the second batch.
05:52I don't want to break a filling.
05:54Have they been in there since 7am?
05:57Not at all.
05:58They will do have 20...
06:0026 minutes, Pauly.
06:0526 minutes, Pauly.
06:08You might recognise our next guest.
06:10The great Alan Carr.
06:10Alan Carr has come in to talk about the new series of Picture Slam,
06:14though one of the questions is about durian,
06:16the fruit that apparently tastes of vomit.
06:19Let's all try some, shall we?
06:20No, I can't try that smell.
06:22It's getting me right.
06:23It's getting me right.
06:24It's getting me right.
06:25Tell me what it's like, and if it's nice, I'll try.
06:27No, I'm not.
06:28It looks horrible.
06:29It looks like scrambled egg, doesn't it?
06:31Oh, God.
06:32Is it nice?
06:33Is it not nice?
06:34No.
06:34Do you know, I don't think I've ever tried durian.
06:37I can't imagine why.
06:41That is awful.
06:43That's that.
06:44Do you want to get rid of it?
06:46Yeah, get rid.
06:47Yeah, it's a tissue.
06:48We did have a tissue, but don't worry.
06:50Oh, sorry.
06:51Sorry.
06:52I thought I was back at home.
06:54I'm so glad I didn't try it.
06:56Alan.
06:57I feel bad about being sick behind your sofa.
06:59I'll clean it up.
07:01What is that smell?
07:02It's so bad.
07:03Alan, remind me never to peek behind the sofa at your house.
07:06Oh, it's like...
07:07I think I can smell it in the tissue.
07:08Oh, why can I do that?
07:10Anyway, it's so good to see you.
07:11Yeah, isn't it?
07:12It's so lovely to see you.
07:14It's like I've come in here and trumped.
07:17Alan is now wishing his quiz producers had written a nice question about croissants.
07:21Oh, so much fun.
07:24In Australia, they are celebrating lamingtons, a treat that is actually a bit of a mouthful.
07:29Welcome back.
07:31Welcome back.
07:31Well, with soft sponge and choc-coc-n...
07:33Choc...
07:36Let's just rewind to the top of that and start again.
07:39Welcome back to the morning show with soft sponge and choc-coc-nut goodness.
07:44Lamingtons are an iconic national treasure that all Aussies love.
07:49Now stop it, guys.
07:51Behave!
07:52Matt!
07:53It is.
07:53It's national Lamington Day.
07:55It's not Lamington Day.
07:56Behave, Sally.
07:57Yes, quite.
07:58OK.
08:00Morning.
08:00Are you coming in, then?
08:02Let me just take my shoes off, James.
08:06Make sure, when it arrives, you make sure you get a short rib of beef.
08:09Short rib of beef, as well.
08:11Right, and then we've got the muscles.
08:14It's amazing, though.
08:16I've lost a spoon in there, Chef, but I'm sure we'll dig it out eventually.
08:19Waiter, there's a spoon in my beef.
08:21OK.
08:22Special sounds.
08:23There we go.
08:23There we go.
08:26That one's gone in there again, though, Chef.
08:29Do you want to grab that for me again?
08:31OK.
08:31Can we get some more spoons, guys?
08:34Because we seem to be cooking more than we're using, Chef.
08:37I'm not going to put this one down, OK?
08:40Right.
08:40This is Glen Finnell.
08:41This is the first time and the last time you'll see it.
08:46I think he's after the silver.
08:47Check his pockets on the way out.
08:49Dolly Jenkins.
08:50Yeah, I'm OK.
08:52Prue needs Cotswold Kitchen.
08:54A charming, soothing programme that's the perfect antidote
08:57to the high drama of the Bake Off tent.
09:00Unless you work behind the scenes.
09:02Sorry.
09:04Steve.
09:07Bless you.
09:08Sorry, darling.
09:09I deliberately turned away.
09:12In order not to have infect them and blasted you.
09:19Sorry.
09:19If she goes down, we know who's fault.
09:21Sarah, do you need a cloth?
09:23People talk about the Hollywood handshake.
09:25No one ever mentions the achoo from Prue.
09:28We just mix these ingredients together.
09:29Back to Ireland, where Catherine is up to her old tricks.
09:33Tommy, when are you going to start your sourdough?
09:36Oh, don't talk about the sourdough.
09:37I heard talking to Sourdough, Catherine.
09:39Oh, here, Catherine, the thing's cooked.
09:41The good thing's cooked.
09:43The good thing's cooked.
09:45It's on fire.
09:47It's on fire.
09:49It's on fire.
09:49It's on fire.
09:51It's on fire.
09:52It's on fire.
09:53It's on fire.
09:56It's on fire.
10:00How did that happen?
10:01The fire lamp's going to go off.
10:04What are you like that?
10:05How did that happen?
10:06Anyway.
10:07Has anyone actually checked to see if Catherine is really a chef?
10:11Pour some soup into your bowls there, Tommy.
10:13Yeah, go on.
10:13Go get the bread out of the thing.
10:15We're in this having a heart attack.
10:16For the second time in a month, I've caused havoc in the kitchen.
10:19It might be safer next time to order in.
10:23I think you had the hub on.
10:24I had it on there over that one.
10:26Are you sure about that, Catherine?
10:27Or did you cook the other pan by accident?
10:29Our soup is freezing cold.
10:31It's not.
10:32It is.
10:33If we were having that, if it was in there, it would be roasted.
10:37But it wasn't in there, so it's ice cold.
10:40I know.
10:40Show us the bacon paper.
10:44Can you look through it?
10:45Peek-a-boo.
10:57TV experts on the way, such as this entertainment reporter Craigie B.
11:02What he doesn't know about showbiz just isn't worth knowing.
11:05Break out the girl power because I've got hugely exciting news.
11:09It's regarding Victoria Beckham, the one and only former posh spies.
11:13But what will spice up this report?
11:18Find out after the break.
11:42It's regarding Victoria Beckham, the one and only former posh spies in another life, of course.
11:49Well, hang on.
11:53I think my tooth is about to fall out.
11:55Uh-oh.
11:57Craigie!
11:59Craigie!
12:00Are you okay?
12:01No, I'm not.
12:03My tooth...
12:04What did you do?
12:05Did you bite into something?
12:07I did.
12:09I can't believe it.
12:11I can't believe it either.
12:15We've lost a tooth, people.
12:17It's at 33 and we've lost a tooth.
12:23Richard Arnold, our very own TV expert, has a Netflix exclusive.
12:28He's cordially inviting us to his very own Bridgerton Balls Up.
12:33Season three part two is almost upon us.
12:36Fans have been stressfully waiting for the second half of season three to come out.
12:38And yesterday, Netflix sent everyone into a tizzy by releasing the trailer for part two of said season.
12:43And just to wet your lady down whistle...
12:46Your lady down whistle?
12:47Yes, lady whistle down.
12:48Anyway, that's out there forever.
12:52Richard, that sounds too raunchy, even for Bridgerton.
12:55No, no, no, it's going to suddenly go sour. I'll leave now.
12:57Garage for Richard.
13:02Entertainment expert Ria Hebden is helping Lorraine find something to watch.
13:06And they are all great recommendations, but not quite what Lorraine is after.
13:11But if you're looking for something a little lighter, Alan Carr's Changing Ends.
13:15We absolutely love him. This is such a lovely comedy-drama about his actual life and how challenging it was
13:23growing up...
13:23Oh, this is great.
13:24...with his lovely dad, who was the professional football caller...
13:27Football manager.
13:28Oh, there's three doggies over there.
13:29And now they're all going a bit wrong, aren't they?
13:30Do you know what it is? It's a border-terrier?
13:33A border-terrierist is so apt when it's angers.
13:37It's not angers. It's not angers.
13:38Forget the telly, Lorraine just wants to watch the dogs.
13:41I know, they're just having a little chat, aren't they?
13:43Letting us know.
13:43And, you know, a frank and fool discussion with life and the dogs.
13:47And later there will be a frank and fool discussion over who had the idea to go live outside.
13:55On this morning, Dr Rangan Chatterjee is there to talk about his latest book, which promises to lead to a
14:01calmer, happier you.
14:02So, why is Vernon so stressed out?
14:05But the other big thing, I think, that we get wrong, guys, is that we confuse happiness with success, right?
14:11Many of us think we're chasing...
14:12We're going to have to interject you there, because we've got to go to the local weather, which is a
14:14hard count, which means we've got to do it in about four seconds.
14:17Well, the book is available. Thank you very much for coming. Here's the weather wherever you are in the country.
14:21It's good to talk, but don't talk for too long.
14:26Perhaps Vernon needs this. Here, exercise expert Lina is demonstrating the latest craze of puppy yoga.
14:33Ah, I'm feeling more relaxed already.
14:36Do you get as much yoga as you like? Yeah, it's all up to you.
14:38OK, David's taking the cuddle path, so can you show me how to combine some yoga moves?
14:45But I think someone is a little too zen.
14:48I think we're going... Oh, no!
14:50Oh, no, I think we've got a toilet coming!
14:52We're dropping a two! We've got a...
14:53We're dropping a two!
14:54We've got a...
14:54We've got a toilet situation!
14:55Come on, everyone, and there we go!
14:58Anyone got a bag?
15:01OK, let's get into some downward dog.
15:06How much... Why is so much coming out of you?
15:09It's a mess of your body weight!
15:11Oh, my God!
15:11Anyway, we're distracted.
15:13Oh, my God!
15:14I mean...
15:15So, we were just doing...
15:16It's less downward-facing dog and more downward-facing log.
15:20Just keep going, Lina. I'll sort this out after him.
15:22Ah, it's still going!
15:24Oh, God, there's so much...
15:26Well, if you will call your show today extra, extra is what you get.
15:30Just get some zen.
15:31It's like an ice-cream machine back there, you guys!
15:35There we go.
15:37Lina, what are you feeding these dogs before the class?
15:39Sorry, I can't!
15:40Oh, please don't eat it!
15:42No, OK!
15:43I bet this never happens to Gwynny Paltrow.
15:56Cock-ups on entertainment shows now,
15:58as we join Ant and Dec recording a link with their crew in South Africa.
16:02The Australian crew make them do their links live,
16:05so everyone can go home on time.
16:08And as their first mornin' arrived,
16:10they were walkin' by the crow...
16:12Crow?
16:13Crow?
16:14Crow.
16:14Crowd.
16:15Cry.
16:16Cry.
16:17If at first you don't succeed, cry cry again.
16:20That's right.
16:24In for a penny are in Chester,
16:26but if Stephen's not careful,
16:27we'll be seeing a lot more than his loose change.
16:30He flies all in time.
16:31Stephen!
16:32We almost saw your magic wand!
16:34They're all laughing behind the cameras,
16:35because they think I'm going to be embarrassed.
16:38Well, do you know what?
16:39I'm not!
16:41Cheeky.
16:51I've got a text!
16:53Oh, no.
16:55I think my phone's too hot.
16:56It says shutting down.
16:58Too hot for Love Island!
17:03Unforgivable, where Mel's guests reveal the worst things they've ever done,
17:06but co-host Lou wants to reveal something of her own.
17:11I'm going to be summarising by doing a Shakespeare's sonnet.
17:14I love that.
17:16To compare thee to a doctor is not...
17:22A little extract there for the front row.
17:24Is she wearing any pants?
17:28Lou, the whole of your backside was revealed there.
17:32Well, Lou was doing Shakespeare.
17:34Perhaps she was just giving the audience her bottom.
17:37Oh, it was literally up there.
17:39It got hoiked on your...
17:41What?
17:44It was brilliant.
17:46I sort of think it worked.
17:48I love the looseness.
17:51It's David Mitchell's Outsiders,
17:54where comedians Guz Khan and Judy Love are competing as a pair
17:58to win survival challenges.
18:00But will they survive each other?
18:02Yeah.
18:02Chris talks a lot of...
18:08That's why he'd be talking.
18:13Gus, don't hold back.
18:16What do you really think?
18:20I'm just trying to not digest...
18:22Don't really...
18:24What was that song?
18:27You...
18:29Poor Judy.
18:30Only did this show to get some fresh air.
18:32You have to re-play that camera, mate.
18:35Yes, reposition it to another county.
18:37Blow it away.
18:38If that...
18:39Listen...
18:40We are the most fartiest couple.
18:45And on Nevermind the Buzzcocks,
18:48host Greg Davies shows that there's one task he can't master,
18:52and that's reading this question about Peter Andre.
18:54Or C, showing off in front...
18:59I'm sorry.
19:01Professional.
19:03Or was it C?
19:04Showing off...
19:07It's what Peter was doing that makes me laugh.
19:10Yeah.
19:11Showing off in front of the crew,
19:13Peter tried to do that dance move,
19:15Peter tried to do that dance move,
19:15where you hold your leg up and jump through...
19:26Oh, dear.
19:27One more time.
19:28I'm so sorry.
19:29I'm so sorry.
19:34But he fell into a World War I memorial fountain.
19:40Success!
19:41And the audience give a cheer of pride.
19:43Or is that just relief?
19:46I hope you're watching this, Mum.
19:55Thanks to all the stars and production teams
19:57who shared their funny mistakes with us tonight.
20:00Before we go,
20:01let's take a moment to appreciate Richard Maidley.
20:03He's an author,
20:05an agony uncle,
20:05and most importantly,
20:07the other half to Judy.
20:08But I don't think he'll be getting a job in a phone shop anytime soon.
20:12I'm going to show you how to do that.
20:13Obviously, open your phone,
20:14go to the main menu page,
20:16and click on your camera, OK?
20:18Open the camera.
20:19Point the camera there
20:21at the QR code
20:22and a little yellow kind of widget
20:25will come up at the bottom.
20:26Press...oh, that's gone.
20:27We'll do it again.
20:28Just a minute.
20:29You can do it, Richard.
20:31I'm going to go back in again.
20:32There we go.
20:33And you press that
20:34and you take the picture
20:36and then it will basically open up.
20:38It's...oh, hang on.
20:39I'll do one more.
20:39No, it keeps going.
20:40I knew this would happen.
20:41Yes, I think I knew it would happen too.
20:44Take a picture.
20:45There we go.
20:47Guys, T-Rex would have done better.
20:51Oh, Richard.
20:52I know this campaign is all about pledging time,
20:54but I think you're pledging it in the wrong place.
20:56Well, anyway, you press the yellow button
20:59and do it quite quickly,
21:00otherwise it goes away.
21:01That was my mistake there.
21:02I was too busy talking.
21:03Do the yellow button
21:05and then you'll get all the options
21:06will come up on the screen
21:07of how you can donate.
21:09How many minutes you can donate?
21:10Hand it over.
21:11Hand it over.
21:12Let's see.
21:12That's it.
21:13Charlotte to the rescue.
21:14There we go.
21:15So we go into the camera.
21:16You go quite far away from there.
21:19Click on that.
21:21Oh, it's normophobia.
21:22You're in portrait mode.
21:23That's right.
21:24There you go.
21:25Click on that button.
21:26And it comes up with how much would you like to pledge.
21:29So there we go.
21:29And it's got the total there as well.
21:31So shall I hand it back to you?
21:32There you go.
21:33That went well to do.
21:33That's some of your time.
21:35We love you, Richard.
21:36Don't ever change.
21:38Thanks for watching and good night.
22:03Thanks for watching and good night.
22:06Thanks for watching and good night.
22:08Thanks for watching and good night.
22:09Thanks for watching.
22:12We'll see you next time.
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