- 3 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:04It's almost about to be Halloween time soon, you know?
00:07No.
00:08Yeah.
00:10I'm gonna go as the Riddler.
00:13I'm gonna wear my wedding dress, I think, this year.
00:17More gas!
00:25Whoa!
00:27Trick or treat!
00:29It was a bitch to find you, my friend.
00:35Whittle me this!
00:40Dude, this is a big up today, okay?
00:42Let's keep that to a minute.
00:43Oh, here we go.
00:44The sound guy's now the director.
00:46Oh, this is a good one.
00:47Yeah?
00:47What can't be touched but can be broken?
00:52Yes.
00:53I promise.
00:54Oh, okay.
00:55Don't tell them the answers.
00:56No, I know.
00:57Okay, I'll do another one.
00:58Okay.
01:09What runs around the whole yard without moving?
01:13I don't like that one.
01:15Whittle me this.
01:19What is the greatest year of cinema?
01:21Whittle me this!
01:22What is the greatest year?
01:241997 Titanic.
01:25No, wrong.
01:26What is the greatest year of cinema?
01:30What is the greatest year of cinema?
01:36What is the greatest year of cinema?
01:451994.
01:47Four of the greatest films ever created in the history of cinema.
01:54The Mask.
01:55Dumb and Dumber.
01:57Ace Ventura.
01:58Pet Detective.
02:00You don't have to say Pet Detective.
02:02It's Ace Ventura.
02:04Batman Forever.
02:06Batman Forever.
02:06Four greatest movies of all time with the greatest actor of all time.
02:13Jim.
02:14What's his middle name?
02:17Hey Siri, what's Jim Carrey's middle name?
02:23One says James, one says Eugene.
02:24Jim Eugene Carrey!
02:28A fellow Canadian.
02:30Where's he from?
02:30Toronto?
02:31I think he's from Toronto.
02:32I think he's from a smaller town.
02:33Okay.
02:34Hey Siri, where is Jim Carrey from?
02:39New Market.
02:41New Market.
02:42New Market!
02:44One of the greatest cities of all of Canada.
02:47Jim Eugene Carrey was born.
02:50He gave us light.
02:52He gave us acting!
02:55And today, on Just A Dash, we are having a dinner party themed after the greatest year of cinema,
03:03with Jim Eugene Carrey.
03:06I have chosen to wear my beloved Riddler, my favorite movie of all time, Batman Forever.
03:13What'd you dress up as?
03:16Just going to work.
03:17Just going...
03:20Must be nice.
03:23Well...
03:28The great...
03:30Is it scrunching into my eyelids?
03:32Should we put like a little bit of like cotton or something?
03:35No, it's okay.
03:36Because you have to wear that for 12 hours.
03:39I know.
03:40Because you don't have a big bridge on your nose.
03:42No.
03:42I have a nice little nose.
03:45Must be nice.
03:50Riddle me this.
03:54What do you need?
03:55I don't know, like beef and morgue?
03:57Oh yeah.
03:58Make a meatball?
04:02We don't have a mixing bowl on set.
04:05I'll just do that.
04:07I'm going to get you one.
04:07I'm going to get you one.
04:09Maddie.
04:09Yes.
04:10Do you think you're going to wear your hat for most of the...
04:12Okay.
04:14Sound guy, you look so good.
04:15Sound guy, what are you doing?
04:17You don't dress up the same as the host.
04:19That's a faux pas.
04:20There, sound guy.
04:21How's that?
04:22I'm the co-host.
04:23You didn't make anything.
04:24We literally didn't make one of the dishes.
04:25You do this.
04:26We all know what you do.
04:27Okay, 20 seconds, everyone.
04:28Just settle in.
04:29We're going to get 20 seconds of room tone.
04:34Settle, Andy.
04:36We have 50% pork, 50% beef.
04:40We want these to be spicy meatballs.
04:46That's a spicy meatball!
04:49So we're going to add dried chili flakes,
04:51cayenne pepper, a lot.
04:52Whoa, that's a lot of cayenne.
04:55We have some beautiful Calabrian chilies here.
04:57We're going to do fresh cracked pepper,
04:59a little bit of salt, dried breadcrumbs,
05:02two full eggs.
05:05I like putting fresh garlic,
05:07and I like putting garlic powder.
05:10Oh, we're going to add some onion powder.
05:12May I move this?
05:13Take day-old bread.
05:14You get it all milky.
05:16You know what it's called?
05:17What?
05:17A panad.
05:18Riddle me this.
05:19What is day-old bread and milk called?
05:22A panad.
05:23A panad.
05:23When I'm hosting a dinner party,
05:25I like to cook with fabric gloves on, too.
05:27The riddler doesn't take his gloves off,
05:29because then you maybe could identify him.
05:30Riddle me this.
05:31How much cheese?
05:33One cup of Parmesan?
05:35One cup of Pecorino?
05:37Will do just fine.
05:39We can leave that big chunk for one surprise ball.
05:42We could, but we won't.
05:44Half an onion, box grated.
05:56And then, we just need parsley,
06:00and...
06:00No, fuck that, you.
06:02Don't ever put basil in your stuff.
06:04I just put it for the tomato sauce,
06:05in case you want to.
06:06And balance it there.
06:08Then we're gonna add some olive oil.
06:13That much?
06:16Take the gloves off.
06:23No.
06:23No.
06:24No, take...
06:31The riddler doesn't listen.
06:33The riddler is the riddler.
06:36We can...
06:37Riddle me this.
06:40I think this is good.
06:42A spicy meatball.
06:44Let's switch them.
06:45It's actually, like, bile.
06:47I'm sick.
06:48No, no.
06:54No.
06:57Tell me this.
06:58How much flavor can you get into small, little gloves?
07:05This is how you treat your gas.
07:08Give them to me.
07:09Yes.
07:10Gross.
07:10Yeah, disgusting.
07:18Are these more of these clean rags?
07:20She's been cleaning these.
07:22These are the rags she's been cleaning.
07:23Smell it.
07:24Are these small?
07:24What are these...
07:25Who are these made for?
07:39We don't want to get these in the meatballs.
07:40No.
07:42We're gonna make a really classic Aribiata.
07:45It's a spicy tomato sauce.
07:51Chef, I'm ready for a riddle.
07:53Riddle me this.
07:55What has a head and no brain?
08:00Um...
08:00Wrong.
08:01We want to start off with some really nice olive oil.
08:03And we just need half an onion.
08:05Chef, can I move this?
08:07Not too far.
08:08Just gently sweating our onions.
08:10And then we're gonna add our garlic.
08:12Cook that out.
08:13Our Calabrian chilis.
08:14Our dried chili flakes.
08:15Really create that heat sensation.
08:17Tomato paste.
08:19Riddle me this.
08:21Do we have just tomato paste?
08:22For the show we're making?
08:24Oh.
08:25Absolutely.
08:25Just open your eyes.
08:27Riddler.
08:29And I like to use a passata.
08:31For sure.
08:37Dried chili flakes in.
08:39I forgot to add that.
08:40This is so itchy.
08:42Is my face red?
08:43Oh, it's Maddie.
08:45No.
08:46It's Jim Carrey.
08:49Alrighty then.
08:51Dude, I'm stoked on this.
08:52This is gonna be a spicy meatball.
08:54Oh.
08:55Oh.
08:57Oh.
09:02We need some EVOO.
09:03I wanna kinda shallow fry these fuckers.
09:06That's so spicy.
09:08Save meatball.
09:09What happened?
09:09Whoa, hot oil.
09:10Just splashed a little bit on my leg.
09:12Can you be careful, please?
09:13Yeah.
09:14Do we have any fresh basil?
09:15Now I would like some.
09:16You don't say.
09:19It matches.
09:20The Riddler loves green.
09:24And then I just wanted some fresh basil,
09:26which I thought would be nice.
09:34Riddle me this.
09:38So you wanna eat the meatball?
09:42No.
09:43No, cause the meat.
09:44No.
09:45What?
09:45It's perfect.
09:46I want them to not even think about it.
09:49Think about what?
09:50If it's a spicy meatball or not.
09:52What?
09:52Mike is pulling my hair.
09:53Riddle me this.
09:54Can you just set me up for success for once?
09:56Let's pause for a minute.
09:59What should we put in the crowd, Dad?
10:04Have you ever wondered what it would be like before?
10:13Without fear of letting go, fear of letting go.
10:22Sea bass.
10:23Sea bass.
10:23Sea bass.
10:24Sea bass.
10:25The guy who spits on the burger?
10:26Yeah, spits on the burger.
10:29I think that's great.
10:34That's a hot one.
10:36Has nobody seen the movies?
10:37We're gonna be making the crudités, which is kind of a secret out of Ace Ventura, A Pet Detective.
10:44We've got the asparagus out of this.
10:46Whoa!
10:46Whoo!
10:46Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
10:53Ah.
10:57Didn't think you'd be the one that I will get from home.
11:07First, get yourself some sticky canned crab.
11:12That is really nice canned crab.
11:15Mm, it is.
11:16You doubt that I get you nice things.
11:18You want a bowl?
11:18It's rare.
11:20Make sure you get a can of crab in there.
11:23One green onion.
11:24One green onion to rule them all.
11:28And just kind of cut up your salad.
11:31We're gonna add some Old Bay.
11:33We love Old Bay.
11:34Do you know that a Jewish man created Old Bay?
11:37That was from Germany?
11:38Okay.
11:39He was escaping Nazi Germany.
11:41Let's not get into any of that stuff.
11:43Okay.
11:44Some fresh cracked pat.
11:45Salt?
11:46Some salt.
11:47We got some cream cheese.
11:48A little bit of mayo.
11:50A scoop of Dijon.
11:51And then we're just gonna whip this up.
11:53We're just gonna add a little bit at a time.
11:55Because I don't want this too man easy.
11:57Yeah.
12:02I'm just gonna cut the tips of those off and get rid of those forever.
12:06And then we're just gonna peel our cucumbers.
12:10Get a nice wig out of that.
12:12I know.
12:12It's cooling, right?
12:15You know, funeral sandwiches.
12:17Church basement sandwiches.
12:19High tea.
12:21Jim Carrey.
12:21Dinner parties.
12:23They're all the same.
12:25I made you a Riddler themed, all green crudités product.
12:30That's beautiful.
12:31Thanks.
12:32You're gonna kind of do what?
12:33Question marks?
12:34Yeah, I'm gonna cut these into question marks.
12:36You don't think that I can?
12:37No, I think we should just make the nice canapes with that.
12:39Question marks easy.
12:40Oh, did you take a little piece of the question mark?
12:42I did.
12:43Nice!
12:45I wonder what piece I'm gonna get.
12:49Riddle me this.
12:52Riddle me this.
12:55Try this.
12:56Sorry, excuse me, but...
12:57What's that?
13:01That's a pube.
13:04That's not mine.
13:06That is not mine.
13:08It's not mine.
13:09It's clunged to that toothpick, though.
13:12Whose hair is that?
13:15That's a spicy hair.
13:17I come from the toothpick factory?
13:18Fuck, I don't know.
13:20Oh, yeah.
13:20There we go.
13:21There we go.
13:22Who's was it?
13:23Sean, I think it's yours.
13:25That hair fell straight from that fedora.
13:28We're gonna start setting the table.
13:29Our guests are arriving shortly.
13:31And then when we come back, we're gonna make our final dish.
13:34Today is a long one.
13:35There's truly no better day.
13:37Can you do an impersonation of Ace Ventura for us quickly?
13:40To send us out, please, Michelle?
13:41I'm Ace Ventura.
13:43Pet...
13:48Just edit that part out.
13:50No, I'm not doing an impression.
13:51Let's just call it.
13:52I didn't spit.
13:53We can edit it out.
13:53Don't ruin...
13:54Like, just...
14:01And then he goes...
14:02And now in reverse.
14:07And I thought I was the only actor on the show.
14:09I can't believe how good you did.
14:12Brittle me this!
14:15Is that from this?
14:16Is it?
14:19Oh.
14:19Where are those from?
14:21From this?
14:22You just did it.
14:23The greatest absolute culinary scene of all time is in Dumb and Dumber.
14:30We are gonna create a game.
14:32A game of chance.
14:35A game of life or death.
14:36This is Atomic Burger!
14:38We are gonna make a cheeseburger.
14:40The Atomic Burger!
14:42That got the gas, man.
14:45And then we are going to play a dice game.
14:48You're whipping it.
14:50Guys!
14:51And whoever wins doesn't have to eat the cheeseburger.
14:53Atomic Chili!
14:55I'm terrified.
14:56If it's me, I'm gonna eat the whole thing in two seconds.
14:59Yes!
15:00Come on!
15:00Dude, this is legit cause someone's gonna get fucked up.
15:03Yeah.
15:03Here we go.
15:04I like this.
15:05Oh my gosh.
15:07I'm getting heartburned from looking at that thing.
15:08Oh, riddle me this.
15:13Riddle vs. Riddle!
15:16Riddle vs. Riddle!
15:18You can't ride this.
15:20My hands are so sweaty.
15:23Yeah!
15:27Yes!
15:29I honestly think Sean wanted to eat it the least.
15:31I have such bad heartburn.
15:35More gas!
15:36Should I go get it?
15:37Yeah, go get it.
15:38Hello!
15:38Hello!
15:39We are here for the party.
15:41Trick or treat!
15:42Are you...
15:42Are you from the plane?
15:44I thought it was just us, but hey.
15:45I barely got the invite myself.
15:48You didn't get the invite.
15:49How'd you guys get here?
15:51Oh, it's Michelle.
15:52Michelle invited us.
15:53Oh, really?
15:53I overheard.
15:54So what?
15:55Did you invite anybody?
15:56Definitely not.
15:56I didn't invite anybody.
15:57Definitely not.
15:57I guess then come on in, I guess then.
15:59Yeah.
16:00What's that?
16:01Oh, well...
16:02Well, it's for Maddie, so...
16:04Maddie?
16:04Who is that?
16:05I bring you a treat by Trish.
16:08Smokey!
16:10Smokin'.
16:11It sounds like you went to my house and got a cake from Trish somehow.
16:14Window was unlocked.
16:16Yeah.
16:16So you're the mask.
16:18What are you?
16:19Well, I am a liar liar.
16:21I cannot lie.
16:23No.
16:23That's not 94.
16:24They brought an upside down pineapple cake.
16:26What did you bring, Rick?
16:27I brought the right costume from the right year.
16:30Buddy, just save it, man.
16:32Batman Forever came out in 1995.
16:35What?
16:37What?
16:38Hey, Siri, Batman Forever came out in 1994, right?
16:41Oh, yep.
16:43So...
16:44Shut up.
16:45Yeah, probably wouldn't trust that.
16:46I wouldn't trust you.
16:47What?
16:48Come on.
16:48Freak?
16:50Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
16:52No, no, no!
16:52Hold on!
16:53Where are you going?
16:54They can't breathe.
16:56Fuck!
16:57You gotta actually help.
16:59Freaking out!
17:00I got some in my eye!
17:01I got some in my eye!
17:01I got some in my eye!
17:02Is it hot, Sean?
17:03Yeah!
17:04Is it hot, Maddie?
17:07Of course it's hot.
17:10The release date is June 9th, 1995.
17:13What are you trying to do, Rick?
17:15I'm trying...
17:15What are you trying to do?
17:16I'm just trying to...
17:17I've been trying to make a beautiful dinner party all day.
17:21From me and my best friends.
17:24Like, how insecure are you?
17:26Spicy meatballs.
17:27He's been making it with a snake.
17:28Yeah.
17:29Don't worry about that.
17:30I've been making...
17:31I'm not trying to ruin it.
17:32I was just...
17:33I was just trying to get your back, so you don't look stupid.
17:36Everything good over there?
17:39Buddy, just save it, man.
17:40Why is your face painted green?
17:42Because I heard that's what he looked like.
17:44He grew up Amish, and then I keep trying to show him the mask, and he gets scared.
17:48Because it reminds me of the devil.
17:49Like, do you not listen?
17:50I don't.
17:50You see that I'm trying to make a cooking show, and then everyone around me is trying to ruin me.
17:54Toxic.
17:55Toxic.
17:55Yeah, yeah.
17:56I just want you for your money.
17:57That's what I'm saying.
17:58These guys are fucking freaks.
18:01You guys are virgins, I feel.
18:02Well, not by choice, but yes.
18:04Maddie's starting a sex call with hands.
18:06No, I'm not starting the sex call. Sheldon is.
18:09And we have sex with you?
18:10Well, you can't...
18:11Have you called, like, your family to check in?
18:13My phone is over there on airplane mode.
18:15Exactly.
18:15Okay, honestly, why are you even on just a dash?
18:18I don't know.
18:21Sorry, I'm still recovering.
18:23Riddle me this.
18:25One has three spikes and two tongues.
18:28I'm just trying to help you out.
18:30Are you flirting?
18:31What are you doing?
18:32They're probably, uh, head out.
18:34Maybe.
18:34Yeah, maybe.
18:35Maybe.
18:36These guys are scary.
18:37These guys are probably...
18:38These guys are really nice.
18:39Isn't it scary to watch every single thing that Maddie Madison has put out,
18:43read every single book by him, and want to live inside of his body?
18:46Yeah, so what?
18:47So you don't have a god?
18:48I'm pretty hurt, too.
18:49I'm gonna call it.
18:50Really?
18:51Okay.
18:51Maddie, let's go.
18:54But these guys are...
18:55You guys always try to ruin me.
18:57No.
18:57I don't ruin you.
18:59She lies to you.
19:00Yeah, she lies.
19:01Trust me.
19:01I know liars.
19:02We have gone through quite a bit.
19:04Yep.
19:05Get me my kids back, you bitch!
19:08He's been going through it.
19:09I don't want you to go through it anymore.
19:11If you guys sleep tonight, then you guys can be on your way.
19:15You...
19:16No.
19:17This is what I'm thinking.
19:18Yeah, yeah.
19:18We extend this motherfucker.
19:20We do just a dash maybe every single week.
19:22Yes.
19:23Every week.
19:24Yeah.
19:25Yeah.
20:08Who just wants to cry?
20:10Perfect.
20:10Yeah.
20:10So close to the surface.
20:12Yesterday it was more of like a suicide, you can say.
20:15And now I'm like...
20:16Murder first.
20:17I'm like murder.
20:17I'm like...
20:18I'm fucking kill someone who gets in my life.
20:21Okay.
20:22Yikes.
20:22Your kids have the same names as me?
20:24Is that funny?
20:24Well, I wanted to be like you, so...
20:26Now someone has to die.
20:31He can't breathe.
20:34That's a spicy meat of all of them!
20:37You don't lose your family...
20:38You're��ful, you're début.
20:39I don't know.
20:40Are you...
20:40I don't think so, Ma?
20:41Are you...?
20:41Or
20:42Is that true?
20:43I got my phone right there either.
20:43This is my app.
Comments