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The Claudia Winkleman Show Season 1 Episode 2 (2026)
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00:10Thank you so much for joining us
00:13I've just met a man who has a tattoo of a chicken nugget on his leg just some information some
00:19take-out if you will
00:21We have an audience and some very lovely guests and joining us on the sofa
00:25She is a comedian an award-winning podcaster who's currently breaking records with her latest stand-up tour. It's Joanne
00:33McNally
00:43He's the best nominated creator and star of man like no bean. He's now appearing in the prime series bait.
00:51It's Gus Kahn
00:56Yeah
01:01She is a Golden Globe winner for West Side Story an Olivier Award nominee for Evita
01:08And now she's back at the London Palladium. It's Rachel Zeglar
01:21And he's the singer-songwriter who found global boy band success with One Direction
01:27He's now a chart-topping solo artist who's sold over 90 million records back with a brand new album
01:35It's Niall Horace
01:39Don't do that
01:41Look at you
01:42Oh
01:43Oh
01:44Oh
01:45Oh
01:45Come on
01:49Oh
01:52Oh
01:53Oh
01:54Oh
01:59That always happened just screaming every single day of my life
02:04walking into the shop
02:05just
02:05drink drink have a black
02:07I'm not gonna lie I'm tylic myself I'll be honest you should be I have quite a few things to
02:13bring up with you
02:14But before that, it was St. Patrick's Day this week.
02:19Niall, St. Patrick's Day, is it a big deal in your world?
02:22Yeah.
02:24We... I think how powerful Ireland is, like,
02:27culturally around the world.
02:29I'm like a little flag bearer going round, aren't we?
02:31Two of us just going round London, just going,
02:33We're from Ireland!
02:35And we love being Irish, so we're happy to celebrate any day,
02:38to be honest, but Paddy's Day is another excuse, isn't it?
02:41It's definitely growing legs worldwide.
02:43We're kind of the favourite.
02:45We're the favourite people.
02:47Yeah, the favourite.
02:47And you know, I know that, because I did a bit of digging,
02:50and the passport, the Irish passport,
02:52is the most expensive passport on the dark web.
02:56LAUGHTER
02:56Where to God?
02:58Guess how much it's worth?
02:59Go on. 200 grand.
03:01You can sell them, Niall.
03:03You can sell yours when you run out of money.
03:05Now, I don't have the dark web, but once I figure out how to get on that,
03:08I'm going to sell mine and drive around in a Lamborghini
03:11made of lobster bound while some Russian gangster guy is going
03:14through American immigration without a bother on him.
03:16LAUGHTER
03:18I might not look like her, but I am her.
03:21Yeah, you just get the bangs, the big shoulder pads, you'd be grand.
03:24Yeah, done.
03:25Um, Gus, do you have...
03:27Do you love Ireland?
03:28I mean, I love it, but I don't 200 grand love it.
03:30Yeah.
03:35Rachel, your best friend is your biggest fan.
03:40Yeah, which I'm sure you get this a lot.
03:42When I was growing up and One Direction was getting very popular,
03:45I was getting into Les Miserables, so I wasn't really...
03:48Me too, me too.
03:49I thought that was cute.
03:50I've seen it multiple times.
03:51Yes, of course.
03:52And my best friend, when I was a kid, I've known her since I was one.
03:56Oh.
03:56Her name is Carly, and she had a cardboard cut out of you in her bedroom.
04:01So when we had sleepovers...
04:03Do you know who watched me sleep?
04:05Oh!
04:06It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now.
04:12It really...
04:13Quite intense.
04:15Hello to her.
04:16Hi, Carly.
04:17Hello, Carly. Hi, diva.
04:19Diva.
04:20Hi.
04:20Yes.
04:21LAUGHTER
04:24Now, we need to talk about the new album.
04:26Yes.
04:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:34It's called Dinner Party.
04:35We have a visual here.
04:38Ooh!
04:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:41There she is.
04:42Oh, my God.
04:43Guys, I'm not anti it, but is this going to happen all night?
04:46LAUGHTER
04:47Yes.
04:50And the singles dinner party, it's out, I believe, now,
04:54and it was written about a very special dinner party, wasn't it?
04:59Yeah.
04:59I wrote this song.
05:00The lyric kind of does, it's like Roncel, it does exactly what it says in the tin.
05:04It tells you exactly what happened from the night I met my girlfriend.
05:10SHE SINGS
05:11She was a late...
05:12You're not screaming now.
05:14LAUGHTER
05:14Um, she, uh...
05:16Yeah, she was like a late addition to a party that I was at.
05:19And, um...
05:20Yeah, I just got chatting to her, offered her a drink.
05:22We got chatting.
05:24Um...
05:25She says that we didn't kiss that night.
05:26I disagree.
05:27I think we did.
05:28LAUGHTER
05:29And, uh...
05:30It's one of those things that you don't expect to be writing about,
05:34like, a big once-in-a-lifetime moment, and it kind of happened to me,
05:37which is pretty cool, so...
05:38I got to write about it.
05:39Can I also just say, the energy since you mentioned your incredible partner
05:43has changed in this world?
05:45Yes!
05:46Before, it was all like,
05:48Whoa, Niall!
05:49As soon as you brought her off...
05:51Niall...
05:51Don't mention it.
05:52I wasn't going to bring it up, Gus.
05:54I wasn't going to bring it up.
05:55It's going very fine in here.
05:56LAUGHTER
05:57By the way, I just met her.
05:59She's...
05:59This is going to make it worse.
06:01Divine!
06:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:04There we go!
06:08Do you like a dinner party?
06:10I'm nervous of a dinner party.
06:13I don't want a napkin in the shape of a swan.
06:16Yeah.
06:16Or play set.
06:18I just worry that I'm going to do something wrong.
06:19Do you love a dinner party?
06:21It's something that I've definitely gotten into the older I've gotten.
06:24It's one of those things.
06:25It's a coming-of-age thing, isn't it?
06:27Yes.
06:28Having a dinner party.
06:28It's like, I mean, I just sat down for dinner
06:30and kind of throw a pizza in the oven or something, generally.
06:33But now that I'm older, I have dinner parties, obviously.
06:38LAUGHTER
06:39You two?
06:40Where do we stand on dinner parties?
06:42I can't...
06:44I can't cook shit.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:47Why would I remove jobs from the hard-working people at Nando's?
06:51There's no need.
06:52LAUGHTER
06:53I go to them and receive my food.
06:55It's a wonderful transaction.
06:56And there's no dinner parties in my house.
06:58I've got five kids, man.
07:00LAUGHTER
07:00Wow!
07:02I'll attend.
07:02I won't host.
07:04I use my airfire to hold my keys.
07:06Do you bring food?
07:06Will you do a potluck sort of thing?
07:09OK.
07:09I'll arrive when the food has been done and the party is beginning.
07:12Right.
07:13And I'm the same as you.
07:15Deliveroo, this is highly embarrassing, but obviously we're in it now,
07:19contacted me and asked me if I'd like a business account
07:22because they thought I was a company.
07:25LAUGHTER
07:25I swear to God.
07:27My problem with Deliveroo is I'll do an order.
07:29You know you're in trouble when they deliver it with, like,
07:32four sets of chopsticks.
07:33Yep.
07:34Just me and my bed.
07:36Yeah.
07:36LAUGHTER
07:37I leave the noodles with my hands.
07:39Thanks for coming.
07:40LAUGHTER
07:41Now, we have got a clip of the song.
07:45One kiss on your neck, it was so concrete
07:48I'm done looking for somebody
07:54Behind closed doors
07:57Things I've never felt before
08:01Crashing eyes when you first saw me
08:05Yeah, I met you at a dinner party
08:09Checking out the ears to drink and coffee
08:13Yeah, I met you at a dinner party
08:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:28Tell us the details of the single, the name and when it's out
08:32and then we can go hoo-ha
08:33The single is the dinner party, it's out today
08:35and the album is coming very soon
08:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:44Um, Niall, I found out some other information about you
08:48which I'm obsessed by
08:49More information about me?
08:50For Vogue, you went through your beauty routine
08:54Oh, jeez
08:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:57Look at that
08:58Correct
08:58And by the way, it would not fit on these cards
09:02Not even small font
09:05I bought a clipboard
09:06Oh, a clipboard!
09:07There are 22 steps
09:09Wait
09:10One
09:10You light a candle to set the tone
09:14LAUGHTER
09:14I explain
09:16Give me a minute
09:16Go on
09:17I'll give her half an hour actually
09:18I was going to say
09:18Ford, there's a cold water splash
09:22Pardon
09:23Number nine
09:24Is you play with big silver balls
09:27LAUGHTER
09:28There are so many
09:30Tell me what you actually do
09:32I do quite a few of them, to be fair
09:33I'm quite, I'm quite big into the skincare
09:35Do the ice water in the morning
09:37Three or four dunks
09:40LAUGHTER
09:41Action, I'm going to action all the time
09:42Are you ready?
09:44We've got it
09:44And a couple of moisturisers
09:46And like
09:47Two moisturisers
09:48A serum and moisturiser
09:49As to have a spray
09:50It's like a cold plunge for your face
09:52Yeah
09:52It's fucking freezing
09:54He's actually 72 years old
09:55Yeah
09:55Wow
09:56He's amazing
09:57I don't
09:59You do
10:00I'm so impressed
10:01I'm used to dealing with lads who clean their face with a scrub daddy
10:03I've never
10:04Anyone with this
10:06It's every
10:08I need to move up in the world
10:10Sorry Scott
10:10Yeah
10:12Um
10:12Guys
10:13What are you doing in the morning?
10:15By the way, look how I'm acting at that skin
10:17I know
10:17Yeah
10:18Like I wash my face
10:21Sometimes
10:22You know
10:23Sometimes
10:23Some mornings is hard
10:24My wife puts that
10:26Um
10:26Is it like a blackhead strip?
10:28What is that?
10:29Blackhead strip
10:29I don't know what it is
10:30But every time
10:32Every time she puts it on
10:33She insists that she's the one to take it off
10:37And when she peels it
10:38She does the same thing every time
10:39She peels it
10:40Looks at it and says
10:41Disgusting
10:43So satisfying
10:44Just so you know
10:45Yeah
10:45Very satisfying though
10:46Did she rip it off
10:47Like quick
10:48Or slow
10:49It depends on the mood
10:51Got it
10:51Got it
10:52I think what I'm
10:53My plan is to
10:55Two-step skincare
10:57And then just eventually get a gorgeous Korean facelift
11:00Yeah
11:00Wow
11:01How
11:02We can all be doing it
11:03Yeah
11:04I want it
11:05They just yank you up
11:06Yeah, they yank you up
11:07Yeah, yank you right
11:08The problem is
11:09Where did the folds go?
11:10Who cares about the folds?
11:11Goes into the back of your ears
11:13Right
11:13I want my eyes on my head
11:15I want so much plastic surgery
11:16When they cremate me
11:16I won't burn
11:17I'll just
11:20Just melt
11:21I'll just melt
11:23I'll just melt
11:24Yeah
11:24I can't wait
11:26That's good
11:27That's good
11:28That's good
11:28I just shrink
11:29Remember those crisp packets in the 90s
11:31Used to put in the oven
11:32They'd just shrink
11:32That would be me
11:34Fingers crossed
11:35That's my goal
11:36Yeah
11:36It's a good goal
11:38I like it
11:38Thank you
11:38I want my eyes on the top of my head
11:40Yeah
11:41That was brilliant
11:42I want my ass on my back
11:43That's what I want
11:45I'm following you
11:46Yeah, of course
11:48Rachel, you're back in the UK
11:50Back in the Palladium
11:52Yeah
11:52And you're here for a very special week of concerts
11:55Yeah, I'm doing a week of concerts
11:57Of the 25th anniversary of the musical
11:59The Last Five Years
12:00With my good friend Ben Platt
12:02There we are
12:03There's our faces
12:04Oh yeah
12:05And it's so so special
12:07But it's directed by the writer and composer Jason Robert Brown
12:11Who will also be on stage conducting, playing piano, all those things
12:15And I've just been dying at the opportunity to work with my good friend Ben
12:18I'm so excited
12:19What I love is when I came to see you earlier you were like I was watching Ben sing today
12:23He was amazing
12:24It's just it's actually disgusting
12:26Like it's offensive
12:27I'm mad about it
12:29Yeah, you get it
12:30It's like it's one of those things where you watch your friends be talented and you're just
12:35It's revolting
12:36I want to push him down the stairs
12:39Let's not do that
12:40But he'll feel the same way about you
12:42He will
12:43Maybe
12:44He really will
12:45I don't
12:46Please tell me when we can come and see the concert
12:50Tuesday, March 24th through March 29th at the London Palladium
12:54It's so exciting
12:55I can't wait
12:56I cannot wait
12:57Fantastic
12:57Yeah, you can go
13:06You at the Palladium we have to talk about Avita you've just been nominated for an Olivier Award
13:10Congratulations
13:11Oh no
13:17Thank you
13:18Yeah, there she is
13:19This is when you came out to the balcony and you sang
13:23When they first told you that idea were you like don't be ridiculous guys?
13:27Oh no, I was like whatever we need to do let's make it happen
13:30It was beyond my wildest dreams
13:31I never could have imagined
13:32There were more people on closing night outside than there were sat inside
13:36Wow
13:37Unbelievable
13:38There were like 3,000 people I think outside for the final night
13:41It went all the way down to the IKEA
13:44You guys
13:46Yeah
13:47Yeah
13:48And it was unbelievable
13:49There's 2,200 seats in the Palladium roughly
13:51So it was amazing
13:52And were there some nights that really stuck with you?
13:55Pride
13:56Yeah
13:56Was amazing
13:58Because everyone was so hammered
14:01That they were singing along incorrectly
14:05I had a...
14:06We could see the building across from me on Argyle Street
14:08There was...
14:09It's a building with restaurants
14:10There's offices I'm sure
14:12Um...
14:12And there was somebody who stood in the stairwell
14:15And just kind of mimicked my every move
14:18In my direct eyeline
14:20It was hysterical
14:20I have to give kudos
14:21I don't know who they are
14:23Kudos to that man
14:24That's so good
14:24Thank you
14:25You saw Rachel didn't you?
14:26I did
14:27Crazy
14:27Why would you do that?
14:29It was the hottest ticket in town
14:30I had to pull a lot of strings
14:32To get in
14:33It was phenomenal
14:35If it makes you feel any better
14:36I'm also disgusted by you
14:37Oh cool
14:38Yeah
14:39A lot of people are
14:41I was like the lungs
14:42And now you're funny as well
14:44I'm going to have to have you put down Rachel
14:45That's all right
14:46Everyone say goodbye to Rachel
14:49Now we have somebody here
14:51I believe
14:52Who is about to play Evita
14:54At the Swan
14:55Where are you?
14:56Rosie are you here?
14:58Rosie
14:58Hello
14:59Hi darling
15:00Rosie
15:00Number one good luck
15:01When does it start?
15:0321st of April
15:04So soon
15:05Yeah
15:05Oh my god are you excited?
15:07Yeah
15:07It's the time of your life
15:08Yeah
15:08This is the most exciting part
15:10Do you get enough water breaks?
15:12Um
15:13Yeah I know
15:15Baby I know
15:16Yeah
15:17Because I had this really fun thing
15:19Where I didn't have any costume changes
15:20Where usually
15:22As Eva Peron
15:22I'm sure you have a lot of costume changes
15:24Yeah
15:25Drink during those
15:26Yes
15:26Because I didn't have any of those
15:28And I had to beg for water breaks to be choreographed in
15:30Olivier nominee Fabian Eloise
15:32Should win just because he choreographed water breaks into my choreography
15:36And I bet those who saw it didn't even notice
15:40Right
15:40So
15:42But it's the time of your life
15:43Just take it with you
15:44It's so much fun
15:45You'll remember it for a lifetime
15:46Yeah
15:47Good luck
15:47Good luck Rick Allard
15:50Rick Allard
15:51So fun
15:54Your Evita broke records
15:56It was the longest standing ovation
15:59Ever
15:59Yeah
16:00In the West End
16:00How long did it go?
16:01Over 10 minutes
16:02Over 10 minutes on closing night for sure
16:03But it was a
16:04It was one of those moments where
16:06I was used to doing
16:07I did Shakespeare in New York
16:09Like you don't get a standing o for everything
16:11But in New York
16:12It's very much a part of the culture
16:14After the show is done
16:15Everybody stands
16:15And I was told many times
16:18Before the run started
16:19Like well just you know
16:20It doesn't mean they don't like it
16:21If they don't stand
16:22It doesn't mean that
16:23Because London audiences are a lot more reserved
16:25Which I for one really love
16:26And we got a standing ovation every night
16:29And it was bizarre to everybody in the company
16:31That that was what was going on
16:33And the closing night was
16:34I think it was like 12 minutes
16:36It went over the record which was 10
16:39Which is crazy
16:40How do you
16:40What face do you pull?
16:42There are many videos of me turning to James Olivas
16:46Who plays Peron
16:47Where I go
16:47I don't know what to do
16:48I don't know what to do
16:51And also like I said
16:52Didn't really have any time off stage
16:54I had to pee so bad
16:57That I would always be like
16:58Alan wrap it up
16:59Because we were waiting for
17:00A reprise of money kept rolling in to come in
17:03So that we could dance off the stage
17:04And it just never came
17:06And so there are also videos of me being like
17:08I have to pee
17:10I'm like saying that to my castmates
17:12Because you had water breaks
17:12I've got
17:13You've had water breaks
17:14And you're not wearing a nappy
17:15I had
17:16Exactly
17:16I had very rare water breaks
17:18So when I could drink water
17:20You best believe I was chugging
17:22Yeah
17:22So it was one of those
17:23Where I had to pee so bad
17:25At the end of that
17:25It's a three hour musical
17:27And I did not leave the stage once
17:29The only time I left the stage
17:30Was to go get ready to go do the balcony
17:31And then I came right back onto the stage
17:33So I didn't have any time to pee during the show
17:35Rachel you need a shiwi
17:36I use it a glass to breathe
17:39Not that I use it
17:40Very effective
17:42I highly recommend
17:43Yeah
17:44Now
17:45Guys
17:45We need to converse about Bait
17:47It's a brand new show
17:50For Prime Video
17:51That's correct
17:52This is a creation of Riz Ahmed
17:54I've known Riz for quite some time
17:56I knew him before I even stumbled into this
17:58And he's been really honest
18:00It's a real honest story of
18:01What it's like for a guy from
18:03A working class family in Wembley
18:05To have done all the stuff he's done
18:07But every time that big role comes
18:09That big opportunity comes
18:11Something goes wrong
18:12Or it doesn't quite happen
18:14And it was wicked to work on it with him
18:16Because it's so honest
18:18It's a lot of his real life and his real story
18:20So yeah, it's got a lot of humour
18:21It's completely crazy
18:23That's how Riz likes to do his stuff
18:24And I think it's very unique
18:26Something that people won't have seen before for sure
18:28This is about Riz going for Bond, right?
18:31He has an audition
18:32And it's like
18:33It's four days
18:34That's the story of Bait, isn't it?
18:36Can I tell you the truth?
18:38Yeah
18:38I'm not really sure
18:42I'm a truthful person, okay?
18:45It's a month of Ramadan
18:45I've got to tell the truth, okay?
18:47Yep
18:47I'll be reading my words
18:50And then I'll go to sleep
18:51That's all I do
18:55Come on
18:57My line
18:58My line
19:00Can I just tell you that the PR for the show
19:03I just heard her back there
19:05Bang her head against the thing
19:07It's really good though
19:08I can tell you that
19:09It's really good
19:09Should we have a clip?
19:11If you want?
19:11Yeah, why not?
19:13Calm down
19:14It's just an audition, yeah?
19:15Call me if you need a body double for sex scenes
19:18Can you tell us to call me soon?
19:20She comes back in
19:22Yes
19:23I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing
19:28I've just got to sort this out
19:28And work it out
19:30Cause
19:31Yo, yo, look at me
19:33I'm proud of you
19:35Yeah?
19:37James
19:37Come on my guy
19:38Come on
19:38Let's see what happens
19:39Of course they shut up
19:40But do they know about height?
19:42What do you mean?
19:43Are they going to give you special shoes?
19:45Like James was a big, isn't it?
19:50I'm just saying it for you
19:52For you
19:53Yes!
19:55Come on
19:56Come on
20:00Come on
20:01Look, I have to say it
20:03Are you sure?
20:05Are you sure, Iris?
20:07So, you know, there's certain criteria that I believe you have to hit
20:10To be James Bond
20:11And they killed him at number one
20:13He can't even help
20:13That
20:14It's not his fault he didn't get the right level of protein in when he was a kid
20:16You can't make these transgressions on somebody
20:18Bless, Iris Ahmed
20:19Can I say that we should have a short James Bond?
20:21Because how are you going to be so tall and sneak it around like a secret agent?
20:25I don't see it
20:26I've been saying that for years
20:31Where did you first meet him?
20:32Where did I first meet Riz Ahmed?
20:34For legal purposes, I've been asked to frame this story
20:39To go back like 20 years
20:41Could be a little bit more
20:42And I'm from Coventry
20:44I still live there
20:45And I, before I did this, had different vocations
20:50One of my vocations was
20:55Selling tulips
20:56Let's go with that
20:58That's what beautiful tulips they were
21:00Right?
21:01I was a florist
21:02People really like the flowers
21:03Every time they get in there
21:04Brother this flower is the best flower I ever smelt in my whole life
21:08Okay?
21:10I was in an alleyway
21:11With my still best friend till this day
21:13And a gentleman comes running into the alleyway
21:16And when you're selling tulips late at night
21:17Everyone's on edge
21:18Go with it guys
21:22I looked down the alleyway
21:24And there's Riz Ahmed
21:26But I didn't know it was Riz Ahmed
21:27But I didn't know it was Riz Ahmed
21:28And Riz Ahmed was a little bit nervous
21:29About the activity of floristry in this particular alleyway
21:33But to his credit
21:34Riz decided to venture down there
21:36To me and my friend
21:37And said
21:38My brothers
21:39I'm about to spit some bars
21:41In the students union
21:42Would you like to join me?
21:44And I looked at my friend
21:45And said
21:45Probably not man
21:46These tulips ain't gonna sell themselves
21:47Brothers
21:48My friend
21:48You better just
21:49My friend who's a good person
21:51He's a good geezer
21:53He said
21:53No we should support this guy
21:54He looks kind of stressed
21:55So we accompanied him
21:56To the students union
21:58This is Oscar winning Riz Ahmed
21:5920 years ago
22:00And he performed
22:02Quite okayish rap music
22:05To a group of six people
22:07In Coventry students union
22:09And ten years later
22:11When I started doing like comedy
22:13And silly stuff like that
22:14He messaged me
22:15And he goes
22:15But can I ask you a question?
22:18I said yeah
22:19He said
22:20Did you used to sell tulips?
22:24In an alleyway in Coventry
22:25And I said
22:26Who are you the police?
22:28Go away
22:30And that's the story
22:31How me and Riz Ahmed
22:32I mean
22:36Crazy life right?
22:37He invites me to Eid every year
22:39Yeah
22:39He does
22:40He's a good lad
22:41I can't
22:41I'm gonna miss it this year
22:42Cause I'm here
22:43But Riz invites me to
22:44Like they do Eid
22:46In New York
22:46They do an Eid banquet
22:47And I'm missing it this year
22:48And I'm very sad
22:49But he's so
22:52He's gonna have great flowers
22:52Yeah
22:53On the table
22:53Great tulips
22:55Loads of tulips
22:56Um
22:58And you've worked with another one of your best friends
23:00Who's that?
23:01On this
23:01Lumboo
23:03Because there's this show
23:04That I find very difficult to say
23:06So I'm gonna go very sadly
23:07Gus Kahn's Custom Cars
23:08Quite tricky to say
23:09Well done
23:10Uh
23:11And you do it with Lumboo
23:13And it is
23:14Really funny
23:16Look at that
23:16I know nothing about cars
23:18Tell me about this show
23:19Well
23:19Well this show
23:20Came about
23:21Because I do like cars
23:22Um
23:23Always have
23:24When we were younger
23:25Uh
23:25Just growing up in a working class family
23:27And car
23:27The idea of owning a car
23:29That was more than 750 pound
23:31Was a bit of a dream
23:32Okay?
23:33And now you get to a stage in your career
23:34Where you can say to people
23:36Um
23:37I like cars
23:38Can we make a television show about it
23:40Please somebody
23:40And they were
23:41I was lucky enough for someone to say yeah
23:42Uh
23:42But in my head
23:43I always wanted my best friend
23:44To come along on this journey with me
23:45My best friend is Lumboo
23:47To describe Lumboo
23:48He is a human sunflower
23:50Are we talking real flowers this time?
23:52Yeah, yeah
23:53Yeah, yeah
23:53Real flowers
23:55Making sure
23:56But I'm from B&Q
23:57Plant I'm in the ground
23:57Real legit
23:58Just checking
23:59There he is
24:01Handsome boy
24:02Um
24:02But you know
24:03You realise
24:04When you bring your friends to make television
24:06They don't really respect the rules
24:09Tell me more
24:10Tell me more
24:10So like
24:10If a call time is at 8.30 in the morning
24:13Uh oh
24:13Um
24:14And your friend turns up at 2.30 in the afternoon
24:17Right
24:18That probably isn't good
24:20Good for the rules
24:21Right?
24:21Yeah
24:21And it looks bad on you
24:23It looks terrible on me
24:24Sort of loving for it
24:25What was he doing?
24:26What was he doing until 2.30?
24:28Yeah
24:28Sleeping
24:28Oh wow
24:30Yes, he was tired
24:31I gotta respect it
24:32I gotta respect it
24:33Yeah
24:33But it's an amazing thing to go on
24:35Like we've been messing around since we were kids
24:36Uh and then we went on this journey to create this incredible custom car
24:40I'd never done that before
24:41But we did realise by the end of the show
24:43That he had created a car
24:46That based on his six foot four length
24:49And my 18 stone weight
24:52We couldn't fit in
24:54Now there's a custom car
24:55Somewhere in the streets of Coventry rotting in a car park
24:58If anybody wants it go and take it
25:00It was a fun journey, really fun journey
25:02I cannot recommend it enough
25:03It's really
25:03I don't know anything about cars
25:05Yeah
25:05But I was howling
25:06By the way you two talk to each other
25:08By the way you talking
25:09There was something about an exhaust pipe
25:11Didn't know what I was
25:11I was in
25:12Yeah
25:13I was in
25:14Where can people watch it?
25:16I don't know what channel it's on
25:17But you'll find it
25:19It's on Discovery Plus
25:20Is it?
25:20Yeah
25:21And Baked
25:23Amazon for sure
25:24Correct
25:25Prime Video for Baked
25:27And you can witness Riz Ahmed
25:28I assume go on to win an Emmy
25:31Because he's incredible in it
25:32Support the show
25:33It's got proper British flavour
25:35It's got proper energy and humour
25:38Just enjoy it
25:39OK
25:39Thank you
25:41Thank you very much
25:43Um
25:43Before you got into comedy
25:46And before all of this
25:48You were a teacher
25:49I was a teacher
25:51What kind of a teacher were you?
25:54A shit one
25:55I don't believe that
25:58I just don't believe that
26:00What do you
26:01I believe that
26:02I love a salesman really
26:03I love a salesman really
26:04You can see it
26:05That tracks
26:05Yeah sure
26:06What did you teach?
26:08Well here's the thing
26:10So when you do your PGCE
26:12Yeah
26:13Specialised in teaching
26:14You do that in a specific subject
26:17Or set of subjects
26:19I never got round to teaching those specific sets of subjects
26:22Right
26:23So like I was basically like a really good
26:26Big brother forward slash that fun uncle
26:29Around school
26:30Around school
26:30And I would like to hope
26:31To think maybe that
26:33I had contributed in a positive way
26:34To the children of
26:35Grace Academy in Coventry
26:36If I didn't and you failed your GCSEs
26:37I apologise
26:39That is the plot to school of rock without the music
26:42Yeah
26:43Can I tell you something?
26:45Yeah
26:45Your students loved you
26:46Did they love me?
26:47They loved you
26:48Would you like to say hello to them?
26:49No stop it
26:50I'm going to cry
26:51She on the front door
26:52I'm going to cry
26:52Sin man
26:54What?
26:56Hey Mr. Kars
27:00Come in
27:01Here's another one
27:02Yes
27:02Come in you lot
27:04Come in you lot
27:08Come in you lot
27:09Come in you lot
27:10Come in you lot
27:24I know you bought all the brown ones
27:30White kids at home in Coventry
27:43I've loved having a laugh with you, but to hear their stories about how brilliant you were
27:48I don't embarrass you. We've got a bit
27:51weird
27:54You were much better
27:57Than you're saying because Simran, what did he do for you?
28:00You know what as you see mr. Khan. Yeah in TV was just like how he was in school. Yeah,
28:06I
28:07Remember the first time I had him in a class. Yeah, he goes boy
28:11Simran come here, and I was like I thought I was in trouble right?
28:15He was like I can't be asked to do the presentation slide next button you sit there and you do
28:20it for me
28:21yeah
28:22I was like safe right
28:25But then the thing is
28:26I was quite shy up until I had mr. Khan as my teacher and again
28:31He was that fun uncle vibes right where he made me feel comfortable and I started to gain a bit
28:36of confidence from that
28:37but even after he left knowing what he pursued was enough to inspire myself to pursue something different you know
28:46when you come from Coventry and you come from a South Asian background
28:49You're not always pushed to do something creative
28:52So now you know I went to uni
28:54I passed
28:54Yeah
29:04You contributed more than you think
29:17Please tell us about mr. Khan. Why are you sweating so much?
29:20I don't know what I'm allowed to say I'm not allowed to say in it
29:26The person got tulips in his inside pocket
29:27I don't know what it is
29:31Now you know what it is? This guy
29:33He made us all feel like you can go out and do anything that you want
29:36Coventry's
29:38Coventry's going for tulips
29:39So
29:41Everyone
29:41Well done
29:43Everyone there is some sort of florist on one way or another
29:48No one
29:48No one really thinks of Coventry and thinks
29:50Oh yeah, like someone's going to come out of there
29:52So to see somebody go out and do it like
29:53I'll be the first one to say it and everyone in Coventry has goods back in like
29:57We're super proud of what you've done
30:06Thank you so much
30:08Thank you so much
30:09Thank you so much
30:09Thank you so much
30:11Thank you so much
30:17That was really nice
30:24Was that nice? That was so nice.
30:26I never marked a book in my life, bro. I don't know if that was nice.
30:31It was so lovely. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you, you too.
30:34Jo-am, tell me, your tour, you keep adding more dates,
30:38you are playing huge arenas.
30:41Pinot-file. There it is.
30:44Pinot-file.
30:46I file Pinot, it's a fun pun.
30:48It has made getting pressed a little difficult,
30:50so I'm delighted to be here, Claudia. Thank you.
30:54Not every BBC show would take me with a name like that.
30:58You're doing huge venues.
31:00Fun or ever so slightly scary? It's a great crack.
31:03Sometimes I think it gets a reputation for being this kind of feral...
31:09I'll give you an example, because it's a predominantly female audience, OK?
31:13But a man messaged me and he was like,
31:15is it safe for me to come? And I was like, oh, my God.
31:18They obviously think I'm running some sort of cannibalistic,
31:21like we're putting men in cauldrons and boiling them
31:24and then drinking their bone broth or something,
31:26which I would do for a Netflix special, I think.
31:28LAUGHTER
31:28But no, it's great. I love it.
31:30Like, I love gigging. I love travelling around,
31:32living out of a suitcase. Yeah.
31:34We should say you broke records for the longest ever standing ovation
31:37at the Palladium. You broke a different record.
31:40Well, Rachel, I too played the London Palladium and broke a record.
31:44Come on. Mm-hm. It was for wine cells.
31:55Cheers, my dear.
31:56So maybe they wanted to stand for me too, Rachel,
31:59but they couldn't because they were too pissed.
32:01Mm-hm.
32:02But I love your fans.
32:03Isn't it true that every venue are like,
32:05I just, not in a bad way, I just want to warn you that,
32:07like, have you got white wine? Have you got Prosecco?
32:10Oh, and they're like, yeah, we've got enough.
32:11And you're like, we're similar women, the women coming.
32:15A little bit of, you know, we like, we like a drink.
32:17Yeah.
32:19Bit of undiagnosed ADHD.
32:20Like, there's a vibe.
32:21Yeah.
32:22Mentally feral, physically groomed, you know.
32:24Maybe we might need out of a bin on a weekend.
32:26That's the vibe of the show.
32:30You know, like, it is what it is.
32:37You know, you're talking about wee bricks.
32:38We're going to need one after this.
32:42Peanophile.
32:42On sale now.
32:45LAUGHTER
32:51You're doing all of these shows and you also would like to adopt a dog.
32:55I bought a house, finally on the ladder, I have a garden.
32:59Lovely.
32:59I was like, I'll obviously rescue a dog because that's what you do.
33:02You adopt.
33:02Also, I'm adopted myself so I feel it's only fair to pay it forward.
33:13I'm a rescue. I'm a rescue dog. Yeah, so I would always rescue. I would never buy new
33:22shame on you for having your own children, Claudia. How dare you. So anyway, I rang up
33:29and it is so hard and now I'll probably get rinsed for saying this but like I was like a
33:36blah blah I want to adopt a little and they were like you have a car and I was
33:39like no I said I have access to an e-scooter and they were like oh if you don't have
33:44a
33:44car and I was like they're like you can't adopt a dog and I was like what am I
33:48driving it to its piano lessons if you because I couldn't if you don't have a
33:53garden they don't but I have a garden now yeah fine then you can have a whole litter
33:58hive I don't know so you have these lovely fans what is the wildest thing your
34:07fans have ever done and one time in the in the Apollo I could sense there was like
34:11a kerfuffle in one of the balconies it's kind of distracting you're like what's
34:17going on you don't stop the show where you're dying to know the tea of what's
34:21right yeah yes I know there was a woman taken out again I'm not really selling the
34:26show here I'm worse than you there was a woman taken out by her arms and her legs
34:31I carried a yeah oh lord yeah I was like I'm rage and I missed that now I would have
34:37been
34:37that would have been worth stopping the show for I think her bag fell over the
34:40balcony and she was trying to get us and I they were worried she'd fall and I don't
34:44know anyway look it's fine
34:47safe space we put seat belts in the balconies now they're strapped in
34:51they're strapped in
34:52can't move
34:53um now Joanne your fans are a bit like a cult they love you would you be up for joining
34:59one because I definitely would I have a cult vibe for I'm suggestible I'd be easily like
35:06I think I'm involved in an aloe vera pyramid already which is kind of pushing on cult vibes I
35:12like I like the sense of camaraderie yeah do you yeah and you don't you die alone you die
35:17in a gang and everyone drinks the poison but I'm such a boozer I'll probably just
35:21completely survive and live it I'll wait for everyone to be dead I'll pop a saw but you
35:25think it aren't my day I I do my agent won't book hotels near Scientia Scientology
35:30centers because he's like he'll go in yeah I don't like cults yeah don't want to be
35:35part of them don't like reading about them don't know watching Netflix
35:37documentaries about they're scary you've got a cult vibe me yeah I would I would join
35:44oh yes your leader vibes yes yeah I'm very follower vibes yeah your leader
35:50but the glasses and all come on the glasses
35:55guys here's the thing tell us about when you went on holiday the first time we
36:01never been to America it was work I've never been to America in my life I always
36:05thought I'd struggle to get in so like I tried to get into America as Niall I
36:19would be in Guantanamo Bay for the rest of my life can you imagine that can you imagine that yeah
36:26I was in one direction
36:30yeah you all laugh but he's not wrong I live there where were you going to Los Angeles okay yeah
36:39and so I said to my wife and the kids are like this is going to be an incredible trip
36:42let's do it there of course let's do it mate and I'm like yo this is exciting let me book
36:48somewhere incredible
36:49in the Hollywood Hills I love my wife and my children and then I saw how much it cost
36:54I don't love them that much so I went on the Airbnb list and I found somewhere that
37:01looks sick and it had an exciting name it was called Topanga is that yes okay so
37:08Topanga Canyon now it sounds exciting yeah I went on the list and they had no ratings
37:12but it looked sick and it was cheap no ratings yeah you've met me now you've
37:17been sitting next to me you know and we got to the airport and there's a
37:24wonderful driver that was there to pick us up and he said so brother where you
37:27going and I was like oh here Topanga he went oh I said why you say oh for like
37:33that he said brother man I'm saying brothers like me and you we don't be in
37:38Topanga immediate worrying sign but anyway it's cheap two of the kids are
37:44asleep one's vomiting in the back let's just get to Topanga okay so we're
37:47heading up to Topanga and it's very it's very like um up hilly yeah there's a lot
37:52of altitude and we're traveling there and he's telling me all these terrible stories
37:56about man shit man ain't nothing around here I said where's the hospital he said
38:00shit I don't know man I don't know about nothing around here but we should be here anyway I'm
38:05listening to this geezer bang on and we get to the house pitch black there's all
38:09noises of crickets and I don't know what was going on all kinds of animals I never
38:15heard in my life okay I thought there was people in the butcher going
38:17push push push push it's pitch black and the instructions to get in this
38:23property are a bit weird yeah you've got to go around the back and there's no
38:27lights but there were like security cameras all over this house right so
38:32we're walking around and then my kids did wherever they're walking this
38:36camera's going right so my sons are our dad the cameras following me I said
38:42shut up man you don't know what's going on so we managed we managed to get in the
38:49house and my middle son lispy he's called that cuz he's got a list so lispy's in the
38:53house you're making that up no so lispy's in the house and lispy's like yeah we love him but
38:59you know he's got lispy so we're in the house so lispy's in his house and lispy's like his dad
39:07lispy
39:07gets feelings he's like dad's man dad's this place is weird dad's and I'm like shut up son
39:13man your mom's already angry at me there's no electricity in the house it's just dark in here
39:16anyway so we found a couple lights all the mood light in but like lispy's there
39:20touching the walls like dad you're all the walls hollow I said sometimes walls be like that son so
39:27he's in her house everyone's like trying to settle in to this good vibe okay I've got the feeling my
39:34wife's looking like why your eyes so wide I'm like lispy says there's something weird in the house
39:38I don't know what's going on so lispy's run up the stairs he's touching all the walls upstairs and
39:43he come back down he goes dad I want to show you something dad so I've gone upstairs with lispy
39:51and my wife is like I should have never married you and then we go upstairs and then there's a
39:59room
40:00and he's managed to get it open so it was locked but lisp's money is very resourceful this he's
40:07managed to get it open and in this I swear to god in the center of the room was a
40:12cabinet a very ornate
40:14cabinet no and I was like lisp where you find this because I don't know it's in a room
40:20because look at the door but I was yanked on it now because look at what's inside dad he's opened
40:29it
40:30double-handed he's gone dad dad what's all that red stuff no and in this cupboard in the middle of
40:41this
40:41already creepy Airbnb there are vials of blood lined up all across there he said dad that don't look
40:52good we left the house immediately I called the driver and the driver said brother I told you
41:11the weird thing is like days later like the Airbnb listing was gone so big up lispy he's the new
41:20love
41:20of my life yeah genuinely right so we have almost come to the end but before we close this is
41:28quite a
41:28lot of pressure but I just need to ask the first date I think it's been good yeah oh yeah
41:33we didn't
41:33ruin it then no no no I don't know what we're gonna do for the next date like Graham I
41:44can I can sort
41:46that out for you but maybe next time I don't know a dough ball and a drink if you're still
41:53together at
41:53the end of the year you can come and watch my show even if you like it or not
41:55do you want to come see a musical about divorce
42:02awesome great I was gonna say do you want to be carried out in all fours
42:08from a balcony at the hammers with Apollo I can see that
42:10you want to come to yourself and shoot it
42:22that is it we are off to play swing ball and talk more about tulips I would like to thank
42:28my
42:28wonderful guests Joanne McNally
42:39we are back next week when I'll be joined by Jimmy Carr, Chase Infinity and Lisa Kudrow thank you for
42:46watching good night
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