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00:12Hello and welcome to The Weekly, I'm Charlie Pickering, a huge show for you tonight. Nicolette
00:17Minster is here to change the way we get healthy and the funny side of architecture with Tim Ross
00:21and Grand Designs icon Kevin MacLeod. And as always we've watched all the news so that you don't have to
00:30so let's get the show on the road with The Week. We kick things off with Thursday and the entire
00:39world was still sifting through the Epstein files due to the monumental number of documents in the
00:45latest dump. To the fallout from the latest release of the Jeffrey Epstein documents they include
00:50communications between the rich and powerful. Quite a bit to go through more than three million
00:54pages, 2,000 plus videos and in terms of the number of images more than 180,000. If you piled
01:02all the
01:03documents released on top of one another we're told it would be twice the height of the Eiffel Tower.
01:08Ah yes, as is known, the Awful Tower. It's also equal to 30 great pyramids or 80 big pineapples
01:16worth of incriminating evidence. The new files feature familiar names like Musk, Gates, Branson
01:22and Bannon as well as Hollywood elites like Steve Titch who produced Forrest Gump, the story of a slow
01:29witted hero who accidentally witnesses the biggest events in history. And also Brett Ratner who produced
01:35Melania, the story of a slow witted hero who accidentally witnesses the biggest events in history.
01:46But if you think no one in their right mind would want to be associated with Epstein,
01:52ex-Prince Andrew's ex-girlfriend Lady Victoria Harvey reckons being on the list was a sign of social status.
01:59So like if you were on the scene and you were powerful, like to be honest, like if you're not
02:03in those files it would be an insult because it just means that you were a bit of a loser.
02:10Right, so the people who aren't in the files are these.
02:12Yes.
02:13Well, if being in the Epstein files makes you cool, then this guy is the Fonz.
02:20But despite so many names being revealed, the only big name to suffer any consequences is Andrew, whose brother this
02:28week dropped a bombshell.
02:29The King has made clear in words and through unprecedented actions his profound concern and allegations which continue to come
02:37to light in respect of Mr Mountbatten Windsor's conduct.
02:40If we are approached by police, we stand ready to support them.
02:44The King's a snitch.
02:46You know, I suspected it is coronation he was wearing a wire.
02:52The punishment Buckingham Palace had in store for Andrew was positively draconian.
02:57Finally forced out.
02:59The former prince, now Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, has officially left Royal Lodge and will live in a home on Sandringham
03:06Estate in Norfolk.
03:08Wood Farm Cottage is where he's gone to.
03:10He will stay there until the renovations are complete at Marsh Farm.
03:14Yes, Andrew is being kicked out of his large mansion into a medium mansion while renovations are finished on his
03:21small mansion.
03:23So from Royal Lodge to Wood Farm Cottage to Marsh Farm, it sounds less like a punishment and more like
03:30something from The Wind in the Willows.
03:33On Friday, things got worse for Andrew from Toad Hall with news that not all of his Marsh neighbours are
03:39happy about his arrival.
03:41These people in the local area, they've gone round and they've put posters all over the place.
03:45There's a big welcome to Sandringham sign.
03:47They put the poster up there.
03:49And there it is.
03:51It says, public safety announcements, sweaty nonce in the air.
03:55Hey, hey, hey, hey, that, that is highly defamatory.
04:00I mean, he does not sweat.
04:05On top of that, now that he's not a prince, every piece of palace gossip is back under the microscope.
04:11I can tell you some other very nasty things.
04:14He has 72 teddy bears on his bed.
04:20And the staff have to do a proper line-up on the bed and someone has to come in and
04:27teach them that.
04:28Otherwise, he goes absolutely ballistic.
04:31Staff say it's the first time they've ever seen a Tickle Me Elmo cry.
04:39Do you think life's never been worse?
04:41That the world is going to hell in a handbasket?
04:44But, well, spare a thought for those who had to live in the good old days.
04:50All right, now, how does this thing work?
04:52We read your borrowing card with a light pin.
04:58And what does that do?
05:00It says that you have four books out already and your borrowing rights are suspended.
05:03What a nightmare!
05:06What have you done there?
05:07I've typed in the title of the book that you've requested.
05:10Simple as that.
05:11Yes.
05:12And what's it telling you?
05:14That title is not available in our library, but it is at the Doant Regional Library, which is a library
05:1910 minutes away by car.
05:22It was a living hell in the good old days.
05:26Coming up, unlikely friends, Kevin MacLeod and Tim Ross, are joining me at the desk to explain how they turn
05:31architecture into entertainment.
05:33But first, recent data has revealed that health has become the most popular area of study at university,
05:39which suggests that despite the world's best efforts to end itself, Australians remain committed to surviving it.
05:45Here with more is comedian Nicolette Minster.
05:54Well, what an honour and a privilege it is to have stepped up as the Weekly's health and wellness correspondent.
06:01I'll admit, I didn't even know you were qualified.
06:04Charlie, I've survived the oral polio vaccine and the Healthy, Wealthy and Wise reboot.
06:10So, let's talk diet.
06:12Oh, must we?
06:13I'm a millennial woman.
06:15Diet is my love language.
06:17But you can relax.
06:19The diet I want to talk to you about, you're already on.
06:22Microplastics.
06:23Microplastics.
06:24Microplastics.
06:25Microplastics.
06:26Everywhere you turn, people are talking about microplastics.
06:29And I don't mean the cast of Wicked.
06:32It turns out we've been inhaling, sculling and chowing down on plastic for so long,
06:38you'd be forgiven for thinking it's a food group.
06:40You see, the thing is, plastic doesn't biodegrade over time.
06:44It just gets smaller and smaller.
06:46Much like the cast of Wicked.
06:48So where are they all coming from?
06:50To that I raise you.
06:52Where are they not coming from?
06:54They're in our food and drinks.
06:56Our clothes.
06:57The air we breathe.
06:59Microplastics are everywhere.
07:00And now, scientists are finding tiny traces of plastic in our blood, our organs,
07:05and after combing through waste water like a dog owner who's lost a diamond earring,
07:10they've found it in there too.
07:11Wow.
07:12That sounds really serious.
07:13Should we be worried?
07:14It depends who you ask.
07:15I grew up in the 90s.
07:17The height of nutrition was an entire packet of Latina pasta submerged in boiling hot water.
07:23Back then, finding plastic in your food was actually a sign of privilege.
07:29Let me ask another way.
07:30How do we reduce our exposure to microplastics?
07:34Well, I mean, you can try.
07:36You just need to avoid bottled water and single-use plastic.
07:39You don't microwave it.
07:41You don't put it in the dishwasher.
07:41You don't breathe.
07:42You've got to seal up all your holes.
07:43You've got to make a blood pact with a disposable spork and bury yourself alive.
07:48That's really helpful.
07:50You're welcome.
07:50But the thing is, as scientists investigate whether our brains are becoming fleshy kinder
07:56surprises, soft plastic schemes are collapsing, the UN Plastic Treaty has quietly fallen apart
08:03and plastic production continues to hit record highs.
08:06Yet, while industry continues to spike our drinking water with tiny pieces of Lego, we're
08:12being encouraged to fix it by wrapping our sandwiches in beeswax paper, as if my lunch
08:17was packed by Gwyneth Paltrow.
08:20But Charlie, I think I might have a solution.
08:23Oh, please.
08:24Maybe it is up to us.
08:25Maybe the best thing that we can do for the environment is easy.
08:29Eat more plastic.
08:32And then, just leave it to the next generation to fix.
08:35In fact, I've been training my kid to remove plastic from bodies for years.
08:40Oh, really?
08:41How's that going?
08:42Well, look, I'll be honest.
08:45There have been quite a few electrocutions.
08:48But, I mean, who doesn't want a plastic surgeon in the family?
08:51Would you please thank Nicolette Minster.
09:00It's Saturday, and as the world enjoyed the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics in Italy,
09:05a cheating scandal cast a shadow over one of the game's premier events.
09:09Now, to perhaps the most extreme attempt to gain a sporting advantage you're ever likely to hear about.
09:15Allegations that top ski jumpers have been enlarging their penises with hyaluronic acid.
09:21A scandal now being casually referred to as penis gate.
09:24One word, penis gate.
09:26Let's talk about penis gate.
09:27Penis gate?
09:28Penis gate.
09:31Wow, they don't teach you that on Duolingo.
09:37In sporting terms, having a large penis gives ski jumpers a competitive advantage,
09:42which makes coming last in ski jumping even more embarrassing.
09:47So, how does this all work?
09:50What some ski jumpers have decided, or indeed discovered, is that this area...
09:55Hang on, let's make this a bit more clear.
09:56This area, in particular, is very, very important.
10:01Yeah, well, I could have told you that.
10:04But please, Pablo Dick Carso, continue your game of naughty Pictionary.
10:10Injecting their nether regions with hyaluronic acid, filler, basically,
10:16they can have a larger appendage, and therefore a larger suit, in this particular area.
10:23Getting crucial, crucial extra lift, and therefore flying faster and further through injecting their genitals.
10:33Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Vincent Van Kok.
10:37What exactly is this substance athletes are using to turn their chipolata into a mortadella?
10:45I'm asking for a friend.
10:48Hyaluronic acid is currently one of the most widely used active ingredients in cosmetics.
10:53Unlike Botox, it doesn't paralyze muscles, but instead replenishes tissue.
10:57Basically, it's just a moisturizer.
10:59It draws water into it and famously holds on to about a thousand times its weight in water.
11:04Maybe he's born with it.
11:05Maybe it's hyaluronic acid ejected into his wang.
11:07Doctors say, while injecting cosmetic acid into your penis is dangerous, it does make it look ten years younger.
11:23To Sunday, and guess who's back?
11:26The Coalition is back.
11:27The Liberals and Nationals reuniting after a bitter 17-day split.
11:32Today, I can announce with David Littleproud that the Liberals and Nationals are back in coalition.
11:39They both look like they would rather be anywhere but standing side by side, like a divorced couple who hate
11:45each other, have signed the paperwork, but pretend to like each other for the sake of the kids.
11:51Two people who absolutely hate each other reuniting because nobody cares about them individually.
11:57Well, it worked for Oasis.
12:01Hours later, a disastrous news poll found One Nation's primary vote surging past the coalition,
12:07which could result in electoral wipeout.
12:10But is this the result of internal divisions or a broader trend of conservatives moving towards far-right parties?
12:17Clive Palmer offered a sophisticated, nuanced take.
12:20I can tell you the Liberal Party is a party full of wankers.
12:25It's a fair point, although, according to the polls, they are on track to have fewer wankers than ever before.
12:33Still to come, little bloody ripper Tim Ross and Grand Design's great Kevin MacLeod join me at the desk to
12:39give the show some much-needed structure.
12:41But first, if there's one thing former PM Tony Abbott loves, it's probably the monarchy.
12:45But if there's another he really loves nearly as much, well, that's this wide-brown land we call home.
12:52For your viewing pleasure, here's Tony Abbott's Australia.
12:56In a brand new historical travel show from Sky News, former Prime Minister and Patriot Tony Abbott explores the origins
13:04of this great nation in...
13:07Tony Abbott's Australia.
13:08Uh, I mean, Australia, a history.
13:11Now, this title's not working.
13:14Can we get a rewrite?
13:16Tony Abbott starts every day journaling about this great country, typing with two fingers and saying each word out loud.
13:25Brought a vast influx of immigrants from all over the world.
13:29And indulging his inner monologue like his hero, Carrie Bradshaw.
13:34But far from heralding the collapse of the...
13:36Happily typing away about this big brown land in a pair of Manolo Blahniks.
13:42Abbott's Australia.
13:44In the afternoon, he resembles a Howard Hughes figure, locking himself in his home cinema, obsessively watching old Australian film
13:53reels and urinating in jars.
13:56Before randomly yelling at his projectionist.
13:59Stop, that wonderful song, Song of Australia, that came out of South Australia, was one of the songs.
14:07And when he stops rambling about the songs, he starts singing them.
14:12Australia, Australia, Australia.
14:19What a patriot.
14:22Abbott's Australia.
14:24This week, Tony got out on the road to learn about our farming history.
14:28And lending a hand to the boys in the shearing shed.
14:32Don't be nervous, mate.
14:33I think he thought his throat was going to cut down.
14:37But after laughing for nearly an hour, Tony forgot to lock the gates and he let all the sheep get
14:43out.
14:44Oh, Tony!
14:45Oh, no.
14:47Come back, you f***ing sheep.
14:49Abbott's Australia.
14:52Join us next time on Tony Abbott's Australia A History, when Tony sees fireworks for the very first time.
14:59If you'd like to read along with this series, don't forget to purchase your copy of Tony's book, Australia A
15:06History, for the low, low price of $179 Australian dollars, which includes your own Australian flag cape and matching pair
15:14of bungee smugglers.
15:18Moving through to Monday, and Aussie Michael Dixon and his Seattle Seahawks defeated the New England Patriots in the Super
15:24Bowl.
15:25But all eyes were on the halftime performance from Bad Bunny, the first ever performed completely in Spanish.
15:39Great stuff, but not everyone was happy.
15:42To get up there and perform the whole show in Spanish is a middle finger to the rest of America.
15:50Football, that kind of football, is ours.
15:52They call it American football.
15:54And the halftime show and everything around it needs to stay quintessentially American.
15:59Not Spanish, not Muslim.
16:01There should be a meatloaf, maybe some fried chicken, and an English-speaking performer.
16:06Megan, take it from AFL supporters, you do not want a meatloaf at the football.
16:12Don't want it.
16:16Staying on Monday, and time for another edition of...
16:20What the f*** is it this time?
16:24This week, Trump has been posting up a storm.
16:27Donald Trump is being condemned for posting a video depicting former US President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle as
16:35apes.
16:35US President Donald Trump says he will not apologise after sharing a racist, AI-generated video that depicted Barack and
16:43Michelle Obama as apes.
16:44White House Press Secretary Caroline Leavitt initially defended reposting the video, writing...
16:50This is from an internet meme video depicting President Trump as the king of the jungle and Democrats as characters
16:55from The Lion King.
16:56Incredibly racist and totally inaccurate.
16:59The only monkey in The Lion King is Rafiki, a crazy shaman healer who practices alternative medicine.
17:05And if that's anyone in US politics, it's obviously RFK Jr.
17:14With even his Republican allies saying he'd crossed the line, Trump made it clear that the buck stops with him.
17:21By refusing to apologise and blaming someone else.
17:24When I gave it to the people, generally they'd look at the whole thing, but I guess somebody didn't.
17:30They posted and we took it down and we did it.
17:33I am, by the way, the least racist president you've had in a long time.
17:38Dude, you are barely the least racist president on that plane.
17:44But according to Trump biographer Michael Wolff, something else may be to blame for Trump's outburst.
17:50I spoke to people in the White House about this and their view was, whoa, you know, actually, let me
17:59quote, off his meds.
18:01It was off his meds!
18:03Yeah, which implies the president is taking medication to not be racist.
18:08Thinking of sharing a racist clip with the entire world?
18:12Try Clannadol.
18:14Take two with water or just inject it directly into your penis.
18:19And that was...
18:21What the f*** is it this time?
18:25Let's roll through to Tuesday and a new first for the Australian property market.
18:29Well, a million dollars may not get you a house or even a decent apartment in Sydney, but you could
18:34score a driveway.
18:35This 110 square metre, four metre wide stretch in Newtown has just sold for $1.25 million at auction.
18:44Finally, the freedom of living out of your car with the security of a mortgage.
18:49On the topic of prime real estate, joining us tonight are a dream team for design lovers,
18:54the patron saint of ambitious builds and host of grand designs, and a radio, TV and comedy veteran turned design
19:01advocate.
19:02They've been friends for over a decade and have joined forces on their new podcast, Tim and Kev's Big Design
19:08Adventure.
19:08Please welcome Kevin MacLeod and Tim Ross!
19:13Welcome.
19:15So glad to have you here.
19:17Lovely to have you.
19:18Now, let's talk about the podcast.
19:21Yes, please.
19:21Architecture feels like the boldest possible subject to choose for a strictly audio medium.
19:28Is that part of the fun?
19:29Like, people just have to listen to it and try and remember it and then go out and look at
19:33it.
19:33Yeah, because we live in this world which is so dominated by imagery now, you know, and we want to
19:37just tell the stories that are behind that imagery.
19:41And also, kind of just distract people away from the visual interference that we're subject to all the time.
19:47What do you call it? The tyranny of pictures.
19:48The tyranny of pictures.
19:49Or rather.
19:50The Kevinism.
19:51But, you know, some people when they get middle aged, you know, they take up cycling and I've taken up
19:55Kevinism-ing.
19:58I think one of the challenges.
20:00I've taken up being Tim's shadow.
20:02Oh.
20:04I'm not sure what to do with that.
20:07Only sartorially.
20:08Oh, yeah, absolutely.
20:09Yeah, it's hard to tell which part of which communist dictatorship you come from.
20:14But it's lovely.
20:16You're honest workers and I appreciate it.
20:18Now, Kevin, you have seen a lot of houses over the years.
20:20What is it that Australia does better than anyone else?
20:23Better than anyone else.
20:24And what do we do worse than everyone else?
20:25Oh, you can't ask me that question because I'm a guest in your country and I'm hoping to get an
20:29Australian passport.
20:29So it would be rude for you not to answer.
20:31Well, I want to swap this if I can for a, you know, I love an Aussie passport.
20:35I get the vibe that Tim will marry you.
20:40We get a lot of emails and the most common email is something like, oh, you know, hi guys, I
20:46live in a modernist house in Tasmania and I know you're on tour.
20:48Like, I've got a spare room if you guys want to, you know, on tour, if you guys want to
20:52stay, that'd be really great.
20:53And it'd be okay, Rosso, if Kevin just came on his own.
21:00So, Tim, we know a lot about Kevin from his years.
21:03He's famous all around the world.
21:04What do we not know about Kevin?
21:06He carries a steamer with him, a clothes steamer.
21:10Travels with a clothes steamer.
21:12And he's been steaming my clothes on tour.
21:15I come back and he's, like, steaming my jacket.
21:18It's extraordinary.
21:19Are you sure you're not getting married?
21:24All right, so, Kevin, what has surprised you about Tim?
21:27I've been Tim's guide in the UK and around Europe a little bit, although it turns out he knows more
21:31about European architecture than I do.
21:34And then when we come here, he just rubs it in a bit more because he knows far more about
21:39Australian architecture than I do.
21:40But, yeah, we play reverse tour guides.
21:42It's fantastic.
21:42Are you sure you're not getting married?
21:45One last question.
21:46You wrote a fantastic book called What a Ripper, which is all about Aussie inventions from, like, the 60s to
21:52the 90s.
21:52Do you have a favourite?
21:53The Dolphin Torch.
21:55Dolphin Torch?
21:56Yeah, yeah.
21:56I used one recently and got a kick out of it.
21:58If you're of a certain age, you know exactly what it feels like in your hand.
22:02Click on it.
22:03You know what it sounds like when it's rolling around in the back of the car.
22:05Or you're at the caravan park and you're off the way to have a shower to get tinier.
22:09That's what you do.
22:10There are so many people around our age going to their cupboard right now to find it, to rummage around
22:16it in the back, just to feel that click.
22:17Yeah, and that tactility of Australian design and the way it takes us back is really important to us.
22:23They're our stories and we should be celebrating them.
22:25You can catch these two live across the country or from the comfort of your own walls on Big Design
22:31Adventure.
22:32Would you please thank Tim Ross and Kevin MacLeod?
22:39Which brings us to Wednesday, February the 11th.
22:43And a lot has happened on this day in history.
22:46In 1990, Nelson Mandela walked free from prison.
22:49In 1861, Burke and Wills turned back from the coast, a decision that would lead inevitably to their death in
22:54the desert.
22:55And in 1969, Jennifer Aniston was born, setting off a chain of events that would lead inevitably to the death
23:02of Matthew Perry.
23:06But that wasn't the only momentous event to happen on February 11.
23:11Let's find out more with the Historically.
23:19It's February 11th, 1975.
23:21The sun is shining, the waves are crashing and the ABC has sent its best and brightest reporting talent to
23:27cover an emerging story.
23:28Here's our rugged, leathery reporter and walking melanoma, David Hill.
23:33Australia shares with South Africa the rather dubious honour of being the only two countries in the world to bar
23:38women from the surf life-saving movement.
23:39It's always been a man's habitat.
23:41The surf club itself is an area where a man can come down, enjoy himself on the weekend, relax, enjoy
23:47a bit of surf competition and have a beer and relax, free from the female worries.
23:52Spot on.
23:52If a bloke wants to have a few neck oils and disappear at sea without being nagged by some nosy
23:57broad, it's his God-given right.
23:59Have you set out to get drunk today?
24:01Yeah.
24:01And if it's good enough for the late, great Prime Minister Holt, it's good enough for the true blue, fair
24:06dinkum guy man.
24:07Besides, there's plenty for the fairer sex to occupy themselves with that doesn't get in the way of the menfolk.
24:12Up until now, the surf life-saving movement's had a very definite place for women.
24:16Making sandwiches in the clubhouse, serving on the ladies' auxiliary or decorating a surf carnival.
24:22Well, they could be used on the radios, on lines, perhaps in resuscitation.
24:27No thanks.
24:28A man should only be resuscitated by another man, lest he be accused of having a little fruit in his
24:33salad.
24:33The thought of being rescued by a woman could be appealing, especially if they give mouth-to-mouth.
24:38But let's hear from one foxy female at the centre of this nautical battle of the sexes.
24:42Meet Ruth Customs, a real-life human woman who wishes to become a bronze medallion lifesaver.
24:47I think really, if we are to serve the community, then those people who are best able to do it
24:54should be allowed to.
24:55Wouldn't mind being rescued by that bit of skirt.
24:57But if she's saving lives, who's going to make me a deviled egg sandwich?
25:01Luckily for this plucky broad, some surf-side patriarchs are open to change.
25:06It should be open to everybody.
25:08It cannot be done properly just by the men alone.
25:10That's enough of that pinko-commy nonsense.
25:13Women finally broke through the sandy ceiling and joined the surf lifesavers in 1980.
25:17Who knows how many lives our surfing sheilas have saved since.
25:21Or sadly, how many sandwiches have gone unmade.
25:24David, the ABC reporter, is still looking for his shirt to this day.
25:28And that's the Historically.
25:30Back to you, Mr Pickering.
25:34Before we go, each week my mum likes to cut out those weird little quirky stories from the paper
25:39and she pops them in the mail for me.
25:41Let's see what she sent this week.
25:42It's stories my mum sent me!
25:50OK, let's see what we have got today.
25:53OK, an elderly lottery winner in the UK has used their prize money
25:58to build a lucrative drug empire out of his rural English cottage.
26:04A sad day for his family, but a thrilling conclusion to the final season of Vera.
26:13A nature centre in Kentucky, people can make a small donation to name a cockroach after their ex,
26:21which will then be fed to a turtle.
26:23One mystery donor made a record donation paying for a million cockroaches to be named Keith Urban.
26:30Isn't that nice?
26:32I guess we'll never know.
26:46A notoriously expensive item.
26:52A man has swum 47 kilometres around Manhattan wearing handcuffs.
26:58In doing so, he set a personal best and absolutely smashed my record in the 500 metre ball gag butterfly.
27:07I just do it for the love of the game.
27:10And an American beer company has launched a beer with a surprising new ingredient.
27:16Bear faeces!
27:18CUB have launched a company-wide investigation to find out how someone stole the recipe for Fosters.
27:25And that story's my mum sent me!
27:33And that is all for tonight.
27:34Would you please thank Kevin MacLeod, Tim Ross and Nicolette Minster.
27:39And if you would like to be in our studio audience, just scan the code on your screen right now.
27:44And don't forget to tune in to my radio show TGIF Friday afternoons on ABC Radio and Radio National,
27:50or just download it on the ABC Listen app.
27:52We'll be back next week with He Huang and Rhys Nicholson, but until then, on behalf of the team,
27:57thanks for watching, I'm Charlie Pickering.
27:59Good night.
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