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00:04Start the clock.
00:30Start the clock.
01:01Yeah, I know.
01:02I missed you, too.
01:04Yeah, we were off last week.
01:07One week.
01:09We're off one week.
01:10I have more to catch up on I could possibly...
01:12Okay, the State of the Union happened, the address.
01:15I tell him not to do it, he did it anyway.
01:18But in the State of the Union address,
01:20Trump was bragging that he was ending wars,
01:22that the gas prices are going down,
01:24the stock market is through the roof,
01:25jobs are doing great.
01:31Now, we're in a war, gas prices have spiked,
01:35the stock market is going down,
01:37and we've lost a lot of jobs.
01:38It's like his even more evil twin
01:40replaced his usual evil twin.
01:43I don't...
01:45And this is...
01:47Oh, Republicans are very nervous about this
01:51because the big issue is affordability, right,
01:54in America right now?
01:55Oh, Republicans are sweating like Britney Spears
01:58at a traffic stop.
01:59They...
02:01They...
02:04No, it's...
02:07Not a good look, we're losing jobs.
02:09We lost 92,000 jobs in February.
02:12Of course, Trump blames Biden,
02:15and the Democrats blame Trump,
02:17and Nick Fuentes blames Black History Month.
02:23Some terrible people in America, I tell you.
02:28But that's the bad news.
02:30We lost 92,000 jobs.
02:32The good news, one of them was Christy Noem's.
02:40That's right.
02:42Christy Noem,
02:43at Homeland Security,
02:46she's finally gone,
02:47and Trump did it.
02:48Oh, boy.
02:49He's cold.
02:50He did it by a tweet
02:51while she was making a speech.
02:55She never saw it coming.
02:57Now she knows how her dog feels.
03:05You know,
03:06Trump used to break.
03:08He could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue,
03:09right?
03:10Remember all that?
03:10I guess he didn't like the fact
03:12that there were two people in the administration
03:14who could shoot people in the street
03:15and get away with it, huh?
03:21But, no, apparently...
03:23With Christy Noem,
03:24the distractions just became too much.
03:27She testified last week
03:28before the Judiciary Committee, I think,
03:30and even the Republicans are going after her.
03:32Apparently,
03:33it's such an open secret
03:35in Washington
03:36that she's been having an affair.
03:38I mean,
03:38her husband was sitting right behind her.
03:41But it's such an open secret
03:43that she's been having an affair
03:44with Trump's longtime henchman,
03:46Corey Lewandowski,
03:48that they were asking it.
03:49This doesn't usually happen
03:50when they ask her directly,
03:51are you fucking this guy?
03:54Really?
03:57And what she said,
03:59she said,
03:59I am shocked that we're peddling
04:01tabloid garbage in this committee.
04:03True.
04:04Also, not exactly a no.
04:13So, we have a new head of Homeland Security.
04:15You'll be excited to hear about this.
04:17Mark Wayne Mullen.
04:18Yes, Mark Wayne Mullen.
04:20I say Mark Wayne Mullen's going to do it.
04:23He's a senator from Oklahoma,
04:25total election denier,
04:26former MMA fighter,
04:28so you know,
04:28a bright guy.
04:31But he has pledged to continue
04:35all of the responsibilities
04:36that Kristi Noem is doing.
04:38I mean,
04:38not fucking Corey Lewandowski,
04:39but the other one.
04:40Or the other one.
04:44So,
04:48also,
04:49this week,
04:49war.
04:51Did you hear about that thing?
04:54We bombed Iran,
04:55and it's going on.
04:56Now,
04:56have you expected me to say,
04:57I hate it?
04:58I don't.
04:59Sorry.
04:59When he puts boots on the ground?
05:01Yeah,
05:01then I'll hate it.
05:02Now,
05:02I know too many happy Iranian Americans.
05:05Sorry.
05:08And,
05:11you cannot name one horrible thing
05:14that has happened in the Middle East
05:15in the last 50 years,
05:17and not connected to this fascist theocracy.
05:19They're like six degrees
05:21of They Don't Eat Bacon.
05:25So,
05:26I'm not saying.
05:30And it's popular.
05:31I mean,
05:32Iranians all over the world
05:33are doing the Trump dance.
05:34Have you seen that?
05:35The whole world
05:37is jerking off two guys at once.
05:39It's amazing.
05:41Yeah.
05:42Yeah.
05:43Yeah.
05:45Yeah.
05:47Yeah.
05:48Yeah.
05:51But,
05:51you know,
05:51when it comes to the war,
05:52when it comes to anything
05:53in this country,
05:54everybody assesses everything
05:55by way of,
05:56did my team do it?
05:57Then I love it.
05:58If their team did,
05:59I hate it.
06:00I mean,
06:01Kamala Harris made a statement.
06:02She said,
06:03this is a war
06:04the American people
06:05don't want.
06:06And who knows more
06:07about what the American people
06:08don't want?
06:17She's right.
06:18Like,
06:18six out of ten
06:19American people
06:20don't want this war.
06:21Okay,
06:21it doesn't mean they're right.
06:22We'll see.
06:23What's bizarre is,
06:25Don,
06:28I'm one of the few people
06:29on your enemies list
06:31who is backing you
06:32on this,
06:33sort of.
06:33We'll see.
06:33And yet today,
06:35today,
06:35this is today,
06:36March 6th,
06:37at 8.50 a.m.,
06:39he tweets about the war.
06:41There will be no deal
06:43until we have
06:44unconditional surrender,
06:45important statement
06:46to be put out.
06:47An hour later,
06:48eight posts about me.
06:52I'm not joking.
06:59An hour later.
07:02And what happened
07:03with the Valentine's Day massacre
07:04and his tweet about that,
07:06which I'll be talking about
07:07at the end of the show.
07:09Okay,
07:09this is today.
07:10And then 15 minutes later,
07:11he's going back to the war.
07:13We are moving thousands
07:13of people out of the Middle East
07:15to safer places.
07:16Okay,
07:16an important message
07:17to get out.
07:18Then,
07:18back to me.
07:33The people at Mediate wrote a headline
07:36that said,
07:37here's why Trump is raging
07:38at Bill Maher
07:39in the middle of an actual war.
07:41Why?
07:42Tell me.
07:44This is...
07:48This is...
07:53This is getting weird.
07:54I'm just telling you.
07:56Thank God I didn't spend the night.
07:58All right.
08:06But as far as the war goes,
08:08as he would say,
08:09we'll see what happens.
08:11There's so many unanswered questions,
08:13of course,
08:14right now about it.
08:14One thing we do know for sure,
08:16mullers,
08:17mullers,
08:18are fucking morons.
08:25Some people on the fence about that?
08:32Okay,
08:32here's my evidence.
08:33They've known for months.
08:34We have all the entire military
08:36surrounding their country.
08:37Everything is aimed at them.
08:38We know we're ready to take them out.
08:40They have their big meeting.
08:42They have everybody
08:43who's important in the country
08:44meet in one place.
08:50His office.
08:51I mean...
08:54You've...
08:57You've heard of a Zoom meeting?
08:58This was a boom meeting.
09:01And then...
09:07And then they did it again.
09:10They had another meeting
09:11of who was left.
09:12They call,
09:13I swear to God,
09:13this is not a joke,
09:14the Assembly of Experts.
09:18Otherwise known as
09:19the Leave of Extraordinary Idiots
09:21meets...
09:23And they get blown up again.
09:25I mean...
09:28We've heard the term
09:29all hat, no cattle.
09:30These are all beard, no brains.
09:32I'm telling you.
09:34But they're trying to find
09:35a new leader.
09:36They think Khamenei's son
09:38is going to be taking over now.
09:39He's there.
09:41Boy, did he pick the wrong week
09:42to be a Nepo baby.
09:43All right,
09:44we've got a great show.
09:45We have Senator Adam Schiff
09:46and Don Lemon.
09:47But first up,
09:48she's an actress,
09:49activist,
09:49and best-selling author
09:51whose newest memoir,
09:52The End of My Life
09:52is Killing Me.
09:54The Unexpected Joys
09:55of a Cancer Slacker
09:56are out March 17th.
09:57Available for pre-order now.
09:59Annabelle Gurwitch.
10:00Annabelle.
10:02Hello.
10:04How are you, Carly?
10:07Great to see you.
10:10All right.
10:11Great to see you.
10:12Yeah, great to see you.
10:13All right, let's give the audience
10:15the trigger warning now.
10:16Right at the beginning,
10:17we're going to be talking about cancer.
10:19Uh-huh.
10:20You know, just so you know,
10:21because you have it.
10:22I do.
10:23And that's what the book is about.
10:25But the interesting,
10:27well, many interesting things,
10:28but you look great.
10:30You're leading a very full life.
10:33Even though you've had it
10:34for six years.
10:35Five years.
10:36And just, I want to say,
10:38when you see me,
10:39what you are looking at
10:40is pharmaceuticals,
10:43caffeine,
10:44and personal lubricants.
10:46This is what is powering my health.
10:54Very much like Diddy.
11:00Not at all.
11:01But explain this,
11:02how you can have cancer.
11:04I mean, when my father got lung cancer,
11:06you know,
11:06it was a very different situation
11:08back in the 90s.
11:09Yeah.
11:10It's very different.
11:10It's just a pill you take.
11:12It's amazing that you can,
11:14I mean, you were with me
11:15on the Hawaii trip
11:16like five years ago, right?
11:17I know.
11:17And you can look great.
11:19You feel great.
11:20A lot of the time,
11:21I'm assuming.
11:22Yeah, I do.
11:22You lead a normal life.
11:24What's the catch?
11:25Well, there's a catch.
11:27And the catch is,
11:29is that this is a new age
11:31of precision medicine.
11:32And I'm taking a drug
11:34that turns off one gene in my body.
11:38And so this is,
11:39I'm the product
11:40of this amazing investment in science.
11:43And what's the catch is,
11:46is that we have to keep investing in science.
11:48The Trump administration,
11:50you know,
11:54they interrupted science funding last year.
11:58Lung cancer research was zeroed out.
12:01Zero.
12:03And we,
12:03I can't afford one year of lost research.
12:07And the thing about it is,
12:09I think this is one pill a day.
12:10Now, it creates a certain kind
12:12of existential dread
12:14because eventually it will stop working.
12:17And I'll have to move to a treatment
12:19that has more toxicities.
12:20But it's also a bitter pill
12:23because not everyone
12:25gets the benefit of this drug.
12:27You know,
12:27I thought that the differences
12:29in health insurance
12:31and not having universal health care
12:32was about like choosing
12:34which doctor you get to go to.
12:36But it's not.
12:37It's not just about cost.
12:38It's about access.
12:40There are 28 states
12:41in the United States
12:43where you don't get the testing
12:44that tells you
12:46you could get on the drug
12:47that I'm on.
12:48And that means survival differences.
12:50State by state,
12:52you have different survival rates
12:53for the same disease I'm on.
12:54And that makes me feel,
12:56you know,
12:57I don't feel good about taking this pill
12:58when everyone can't get it.
13:00You think that the Democrats
13:01could make that more
13:02of a winning issue,
13:03wouldn't you?
13:04You would think.
13:05Yeah.
13:06Yeah.
13:06Yeah.
13:07I mean,
13:07I'm from Alabama originally.
13:09Yeah, I know you are.
13:09And I feel,
13:11thank you,
13:11Alabama in the house.
13:13Right?
13:13So I feel terrible
13:15that there's a lower survival rate
13:17in my home state
13:18just because,
13:19you know,
13:20I had dreams of working in Hollywood.
13:21I end up here
13:22and I can survive
13:23and they can't.
13:24That doesn't make sense to me.
13:26Well, I mean,
13:27of all the books
13:28I've read on this subject,
13:29because I am very interested
13:30in health,
13:32yours is the funniest.
13:34I mean,
13:34you somehow made this issue funny,
13:36which is not an easy thing to do.
13:38Well, you know,
13:39I thought I was going to write,
13:40Bill,
13:41a book about dying,
13:42but because my life
13:44was saved by these drugs,
13:46it's actually a book
13:47about living
13:48and it's a book
13:49about ordinary joys
13:52in extraordinary times
13:54and how to survive that.
13:55And I had no idea.
13:57Well,
13:57I've cultivated
13:58an appreciation
13:59of ordinary joys.
14:01This is the strategy
14:02of how I've remained buoyant.
14:05Because at first,
14:06I tried to carpe every DM.
14:08That did not work.
14:10This is how I ended up
14:12selling merch
14:13on a low-rent van tour
14:16in Europe
14:17for a heavy metal band.
14:18Right.
14:19You had a new love.
14:21I remember us talking.
14:23You said,
14:23I'm fucking like crazy
14:24with the cancer,
14:27which was great.
14:28And you went to Europe
14:29with a band.
14:29So apparently,
14:30cancer makes you Gen Z.
14:34Listen,
14:36it's never too late
14:40to write your sex,
14:41drugs,
14:41and rock and roll memoir.
14:43I guess not.
14:4461,
14:46live in the almost famous dream.
14:49You know?
14:49And just by the way,
14:50I know it's kind of a trope
14:51about like,
14:52oh,
14:52men and women
14:53get different treatment
14:54in the medical establishment.
14:56But,
14:57you know,
14:57this drug I'm on
14:58does make your skin drier,
15:00right?
15:01Hence,
15:01the need for personal lubricant.
15:02I see.
15:03Which is not covered
15:04by my insurance.
15:05Right?
15:06But if it was a man's problem,
15:09you know it would be covered.
15:12Okay.
15:16And you got this
15:18during the pandemic.
15:19I did.
15:20Which is amazing.
15:20And you were going
15:21through a divorce.
15:22I did.
15:23I mean,
15:23you just talk about
15:24a double whammy.
15:25But the really important...
15:26Well, that's a triple whammy.
15:26Yeah,
15:27it's a triple...
15:27You're right.
15:29But it's actually...
15:30Okay,
15:31is it a quadruple whammy?
15:32Because the really big thing,
15:34Bill,
15:34is that,
15:35you know,
15:36we have a cognitive dissonance
15:37between how we look
15:39and how we feel
15:39and our actual state
15:42of our health,
15:42not to make people paranoid.
15:44But we don't always know
15:46we have underlying conditions.
15:48I was feeling great.
15:50I looked great.
15:51And look,
15:51you can't out-crazy me.
15:53Just like Robert Kennedy Jr.,
15:56I snorted cocaine
15:57off of dirty toilet seats
15:58in the 1990s.
16:00Okay?
16:01I...
16:02I...
16:03I'm not germaphobe.
16:05No.
16:05I...
16:06I worked out in saunas.
16:08I was an actress.
16:09I ate keto.
16:10I didn't even eat
16:11for 30 years,
16:12right?
16:12But you...
16:13That doesn't mean
16:14you're going to be healthy.
16:16And so,
16:16I didn't even know
16:18I had this underlying condition,
16:19which can be really dangerous.
16:21So,
16:21we have to remember
16:22that how we look and feel
16:25doesn't mean
16:26we shouldn't get regular checkups.
16:27And also,
16:27I'm a big believer
16:28in the mind-body connection.
16:30Oh,
16:31I think that's total crap.
16:32But...
16:33Really?
16:34You think there's
16:34no mind-body connection?
16:36I do.
16:36I really do.
16:38You do know
16:39that they do studies
16:40with placebos.
16:41And people...
16:41You know what a placebo is,
16:42of course.
16:43Of course.
16:43When people...
16:44I mean,
16:44before,
16:45like 200 years ago,
16:46all they had was placebos.
16:48They would do
16:48crazily bad,
16:49stupid things.
16:51Doctors would
16:51to people.
16:52And they would get better
16:53because they thought
16:54they were getting better.
16:54I'm not saying
16:55that's a cure.
16:56And if I ever get something...
16:57We love each other
16:58because we disagree on this.
17:00Okay.
17:00You know,
17:01and I know what you're saying.
17:02And I don't want to
17:03underplay the fact
17:04that it...
17:05You know,
17:05to have...
17:06And this is what
17:07my book is about.
17:07It's about maintaining
17:08engagement in life
17:10and about being curious
17:12and forward-thinking
17:13because this is what
17:15I try to do now.
17:16Instead of...
17:16You don't think
17:16this approach
17:17that we're talking about
17:18going on with the band...
17:19No, I don't.
17:20You don't think
17:21that helped you survive?
17:22No, I don't.
17:22It's just all the drugs.
17:23I think it's all the drugs
17:25because...
17:26Okay.
17:27Because I've gotten
17:28very involved
17:29in the support community
17:30of lung cancer
17:31and too many people
17:32who've had a much
17:33better attitude
17:34than me
17:34have died.
17:35And you don't think
17:36it has...
17:36Mind, body,
17:37has anything to do
17:38with why you got it
17:39in the first place?
17:40Oh, absolutely not
17:41because we know now
17:42that science has proven
17:44that the number two cause,
17:46because I wasn't a smoker,
17:47which is still
17:48the number one cause...
17:48Right, well, there you go.
17:49That's what I'm saying.
17:50Maybe it was the divorce.
17:51That...
17:51Maybe it was the marriage.
17:52No, definitely not.
17:54What we know...
17:55I don't know about that.
17:55No, but what we know,
17:58and it's become
17:59an epidemic level
18:00for young women
18:01to be diagnosed
18:02with lung cancer,
18:04particulate matter
18:05in the air.
18:06Yes.
18:06And this is what
18:08pollution
18:09and also climate change
18:12because this particulate matter...
18:13And wildfires.
18:14Yes, it comes
18:15from the wildfires.
18:17The dangerous
18:18particulate matter
18:19in the air.
18:19So annoying, California.
18:22Well, this is part
18:23of what's so incredibly
18:25bankrupt about
18:25the Trump administration.
18:26If they really cared,
18:28if Maha cared
18:29about our health,
18:30they wouldn't take away
18:31environmental regulations
18:33against pollution.
18:34Yeah, but...
18:35Okay, but excuse me.
18:36One reason we had
18:37the wildfires...
18:38Mm-hmm.
18:39I know everything
18:40is their fault.
18:41You know what?
18:41This is a democratic state.
18:42They have little
18:43to do with it.
18:44They protected something.
18:45I think it was called
18:46the milk vetch.
18:47I'm not sure.
18:48Don't quote me on that.
18:49It was some plant
18:50or something
18:51that caught fire.
18:53And we lost pretty much
18:54all the environmental gains
18:56we got for the last
18:58full part of the century,
19:00since the beginning
19:01of the century,
19:02because of these wildfires.
19:03Because they were way worse
19:05than anything else
19:06we had before.
19:07And that is what's
19:08in the air now.
19:09Well, that may be one case.
19:12But, I mean,
19:12we're talking about
19:13the global issue.
19:14Oh, I understand.
19:14They don't believe
19:15in climate change
19:16and that's horrible.
19:17And believe me,
19:18I'm one reason why
19:19he's yelling at me
19:20all the time.
19:21Yeah.
19:22Yes.
19:23He's got a lot of time
19:25for that.
19:26Yeah.
19:26All right.
19:26Well, I'm so glad
19:27you're here.
19:28I'm so glad you're well.
19:29And the book is hysterical
19:30and people should read it.
19:32Thank you, Annabelle Gerwitz,
19:33my oldest, bestest friend.
19:35All right.
19:36All right.
19:37Let's meet our panel.
19:45Fellas, how you doing?
19:46Hello, Bill.
19:47All right.
19:47He is a Democratic senator
19:49from California.
19:50Adam Schiff is with us.
19:51A very popular
19:53Democratic senator
19:54from California.
19:55And he's an award-winning
19:56journalist and founder
19:57of Lemon Media Network
19:59who now hosts
19:59the Don Lemon Show
20:00podcast on Lemon.
20:04Oh, boys.
20:05Okay.
20:07So, all week long
20:08I've been hearing
20:08we're at war.
20:09Now, I'd like to first say
20:11we are not at war.
20:12We, all of us,
20:14we do the same thing
20:15we always did.
20:15The American families
20:17and the military people,
20:20they're at war.
20:22That's who goes to war
20:23in this country.
20:24Everybody else stays home
20:25and watches.
20:26Okay.
20:26Just wanted to put that out there.
20:28I just want to reiterate
20:29what I said in the monologue.
20:31I'm cautiously optimistic
20:32unless he puts boots
20:34on the ground.
20:35Then he's going to lose me.
20:36We'll see for now.
20:38I just don't get
20:39what liberals don't get
20:40about liberation.
20:41I see so much happiness.
20:43I see it in Venezuela.
20:44I see it here in Iran.
20:47Could we skip the part
20:48where we talk about,
20:50oh, they had so many
20:51different reasons
20:52for going to war,
20:53regime change,
20:54and we got to get rid
20:54of the nukes,
20:55and they were supporters
20:56of terrorism?
20:57It's all of it.
20:58How about this?
20:59This was a fascist theocracy
21:01and nothing in the Middle East
21:03was ever going to get better
21:04while they were still there
21:05fucking everything up.
21:06But I don't think that,
21:08okay, but I don't think
21:09we can skip that part.
21:10That part is very important.
21:11I think that the American people
21:12deserve transparency,
21:14especially if you are sending
21:15boots on the ground
21:16because that means
21:17that lives are in jeopardy.
21:18Families will be concerned.
21:20Mothers will, you know,
21:21get the call, parents,
21:22that your son or daughter
21:23is not coming back
21:24or they'll knock on your door.
21:25So I think we can't skip that part.
21:27And this administration lies so much
21:30that I think we're entitled
21:32to the truth for once.
21:34No one is saying,
21:35I don't believe anyone is saying
21:36that...
21:37But can't it just be
21:37all those things?
21:38Well, it can and it cannot be.
21:39But I don't think that anyone
21:40is saying that Harmony
21:41or any Venezuela,
21:42that those folks
21:43should not be knocked out.
21:44But there is a way
21:44of doing things.
21:45And Donald Trump
21:46has completely,
21:47sorry about this,
21:48I think neutered
21:49the legislative branch.
21:50And I think the legislative branch
21:52needs to gain,
21:52get their power back.
21:53Well, I would agree with that.
21:56I would agree with that.
21:59certainly agree with that.
22:00And it's been amusing
22:02to watch the Republicans
22:03tie themselves in knots
22:04to try to say,
22:06first,
22:06that this is a war
22:07and then it's not a war
22:08and it's a war
22:09they declared on us somehow.
22:11The minute that they
22:13acknowledge this is war
22:14is the minute
22:15they have to acknowledge
22:16they haven't done
22:17their constitutional duty
22:18because if it's a war,
22:19we should have had
22:20a vote to authorize it.
22:21It's also the moment
22:23they acknowledge
22:23that Trump betrayed
22:24his promise
22:25not to get us into new wars.
22:27But to your point, Bill,
22:28in the beginning,
22:30yeah, there were celebrations.
22:32When Saddam fell,
22:33there were celebrations.
22:3520 years later,
22:36not so many celebrations.
22:3720 years later,
22:38Iraq is actually
22:39in a pretty good place.
22:40People don't talk about that.
22:42Iraq is a much better country
22:44than it was.
22:44I'm not saying
22:45it was the right thing to do.
22:46Maybe it was,
22:47maybe it wasn't.
22:47But that kind of goes unnoticed.
22:50But Iraq is not
22:51a failed state anymore.
22:52They actually have elections.
22:53They have opposition parties.
22:55They have a media.
22:56Don't you think
22:57they got better after we left?
22:58Because when we were there,
22:59it certainly was not.
23:01Right, but it would still
23:01be torture rooms
23:02in Saddam Hussein
23:03and his kids
23:04would be in charge right now.
23:05There would be
23:05thousands of American troops
23:07who would be still alive.
23:09But for that war.
23:10And that's too heavy
23:12a price to pay.
23:13And I say that
23:14as someone who,
23:15and this is,
23:15I think,
23:16was a terrible mistake,
23:17voted for that.
23:18I hope I've learned from that.
23:20I certainly would not vote
23:21to go to war with Iran
23:22because there are costs
23:24that you don't see
23:25in the front end.
23:26And this administration
23:27has no plan
23:29for how to get out
23:30of this war.
23:31No plan.
23:31No really articulated
23:32justification for it.
23:33I hope that it ends
23:35as the president
23:36sometimes says
23:37in days or weeks.
23:40I hope they're smart enough
23:41not to make this
23:42go on forever.
23:43But as we've seen,
23:45once you unleash a war,
23:46there are a lot of
23:47unforeseen consequences.
23:48Well, that's what I see.
23:49Right now, Russia
23:50reportedly providing
23:51intelligence to Iran
23:52about how to more
23:53successfully target
23:54American forces.
23:56Whether we anticipated that,
23:58I don't know.
23:59What's happening
24:00with our allies,
24:01hard to see how that
24:02speaks out?
24:03Well, allies,
24:03Russia now has lost Syria.
24:06They've lost Venezuela.
24:08They're going to lose Cuba.
24:09And they've lost Iran.
24:10So he's lost four allies.
24:12Yeah.
24:13Yeah.
24:14That doesn't matter?
24:14What you said about Iraq
24:16is I think that's why
24:18we need transparency.
24:19That's why you can't skip it.
24:20Remember, where are the weapons?
24:21We've never found
24:22the weapons of mass destruction.
24:23And how many people
24:24lost their lives
24:25because we were going
24:26over there to look
24:26and get the weapons
24:27of mass destruction?
24:28So I think people need
24:29a rationalization
24:30and a real one
24:31for the war.
24:32That was more
24:33of a blatant lie.
24:34This is more of a
24:35we just don't like them.
24:37They're bad people.
24:39And they are bad people.
24:40So this statement
24:41from the administration,
24:42the president
24:43had the constitutional authority
24:45to direct the use
24:46of military force
24:46because he could
24:47reasonably determine
24:48that such use of force
24:50was in the national interest.
24:51That's too vague for you?
24:53Totally vague.
24:55Okay.
24:55Because that's from Obama
24:56about Libya.
24:57Well, Obama made the argument
25:00initially that he could
25:01go into Syria
25:02without an authorization.
25:03I and many others
25:04pushed back on that argument.
25:06Ultimately,
25:06he did not go forward
25:08with going after Assad,
25:10even though Assad
25:11was gassing his own people,
25:12because he thought
25:13he might lose the vote
25:13in Congress.
25:15But I respect the fact
25:16that that was important
25:19to him
25:19and the fact that
25:21he did not have
25:21the support of Congress
25:22meant that we weren't
25:23going to go forward.
25:24We are unquestionably
25:26at war now.
25:28The founders made
25:29an extraordinary decision
25:30at the time,
25:31which was not to give
25:32that power to the president,
25:33but to give it to the Congress
25:34because they worried,
25:35I think,
25:36as Hamilton said,
25:36that a president
25:37would grow too fond
25:38of making war.
25:40After Venezuela,
25:42after the earlier Iran conflict,
25:44after bombing Nigeria
25:46and Iraq and Syria,
25:49he's grown too fond of this.
25:51And Congress,
25:53Don, as you're saying,
25:54needs to step up,
25:55assert its role,
25:56or it's going to be
25:57gone for good.
25:58And then any time
25:59a president,
26:00for any reason,
26:01anywhere in the world,
26:01for any length of time,
26:02will feel free to make war.
26:04And that would be
26:05hugely dangerous
26:06for the country.
26:07The first article
26:08of the Constitution,
26:08everything goes through Congress.
26:10Everything should go
26:11through Congress.
26:11That's...
26:12And if that is not happening,
26:14it should.
26:14And, you know,
26:15Donald Trump is not a king.
26:16He thinks that he's a king
26:17and he's being allowed
26:17to get away
26:18with all of these things
26:19that he's not a monarch.
26:21But he gets away with it
26:22and he becomes more bold.
26:23But the last time
26:23we declared war
26:23was 1942.
26:25So this has been
26:26happening for a long time.
26:27I mean...
26:28That's true.
26:28...1982.
26:29You're talking about
26:30the War Powers Act
26:31and trying to take that away.
26:33I mean,
26:33eight times
26:35Congress has filed suit
26:36various presidents,
26:37Reagan in El Salvador,
26:39Nicaragua, Grenada,
26:40Reagan in the Persian Gulf,
26:42that's the Iran-Iraq war,
26:43George W. Bush,
26:45you know,
26:45the first Bush in Kuwait,
26:46his son,
26:47of course,
26:48in Iraq,
26:48Clinton in Kosovo,
26:50Obama in Libya.
26:51I mean,
26:52this horse is out
26:53of the barn.
26:54Well,
26:54you know,
26:55to Bush's credit,
26:56he did seek
26:57a congressional authorization
26:58to use force
26:59in Afghanistan,
27:00in Iraq.
27:00But I will agree
27:01with the president
27:02on this.
27:03I think he's right
27:04to call for the
27:04unconditional surrender
27:05of Bill Maher.
27:07I think I'm totally
27:09with him on that.
27:11That was the cheat
27:12I was expecting
27:13to see after you
27:14later.
27:14We're going to hear
27:15a lot about it
27:16at the end of the show.
27:17But a lot of the things
27:19that you mentioned,
27:20they were based on
27:21some sort of imminent threat.
27:22There is no imminent threat.
27:24There's no intelligence,
27:24as I understand,
27:25from anyone who's on
27:26the Intelligence Committee,
27:27that there was an imminent threat
27:28that Iran was going
27:30to attack Israel.
27:32And all the intelligence
27:33shows that Iran was
27:34well, they have been attacking
27:36them for 20 years.
27:37They have true proxies.
27:39But that doesn't mean
27:40if you listen
27:41to the administration,
27:42they were doing it
27:43because Israel
27:44was going to strike Iran
27:45and they wanted
27:46to make sure
27:46that that didn't happen.
27:48Okay.
27:48It just seemed,
27:49admit this much,
27:50there is a different
27:51approach here.
27:52I mean,
27:53I was surprised
27:54when he said
27:55we might put boots
27:56on the ground
27:56because I thought
27:56that was his red line
27:58and he would never do that.
27:59We'll see.
28:01But as opposed
28:02to what we have done before,
28:04which is we invaded a place
28:05and then took it over
28:06Afghanistan, Iraq,
28:07we can make it better.
28:09They're going to learn
28:10to love us.
28:11That's the pottery burn rule.
28:13You bought it,
28:14you broke it,
28:14you broke it,
28:15you bought it.
28:16His is more like
28:17we broke it,
28:18you fix it.
28:18Yeah.
28:19You know,
28:19he's throwing it back
28:20on them.
28:21I mean,
28:21this would,
28:22no,
28:22Venezuela is not Iran,
28:24but Iran is not
28:25an unsophisticated population.
28:26We'll see.
28:28Maybe they're the same,
28:29but it seems like
28:29this is a very different
28:30approach,
28:31whereas you kill
28:32the leader,
28:34then you bring up
28:35somebody else
28:36who's not the opposition,
28:38who's part of that
28:39administration,
28:40and you say,
28:41look,
28:41we'll kill you
28:42if you don't start behaving.
28:44Because I hear something
28:46about leaders
28:46I've learned.
28:47They're not really
28:48ideological.
28:49They mostly just want
28:50to hang on to the job.
28:52I remember in Iraq,
28:53remember de-baithification?
28:55Yeah.
28:55And everybody said,
28:56especially all the people
28:57on the left,
28:58that it was a terrible
28:58thing to do.
28:59We got rid of Saddam Hussein,
29:01and then all the people
29:02were in his bath party.
29:03We got rid of,
29:04and of course,
29:04they were resentful,
29:05and then the war started.
29:06Okay,
29:07well,
29:07this is what we're not doing.
29:08This is the opposite
29:09of de-baithification.
29:11We got rid of the main guy,
29:12but we're not getting rid
29:13of the apparatus under them.
29:15We're just saying,
29:17act more like a normal,
29:19civilized country,
29:20and we won't fucking
29:21kill you, too.
29:22Yeah,
29:22but you don't know
29:22who's coming.
29:24You don't know
29:24who's coming
29:25after Khamenei,
29:26right?
29:27And Pete Hex said,
29:28we're not in the business
29:29of regime change,
29:30but as you said,
29:30if we kill the leader,
29:31that's regime change,
29:32and you have to fix that.
29:34The other big factor here
29:36is we've already lost
29:38six American service members.
29:39That's a huge price to pay,
29:41but we're also losing
29:43the opportunity
29:43to address the need
29:45to improve the quality
29:46of life for the American people.
29:47This is what Trump
29:48campaigned on.
29:49He said,
29:49I'm not going to go to war.
29:50I'm going to beat
29:51the peace president.
29:52I'm going to get
29:52my FIFA Peace Prize,
29:53but instead we're going
29:57to war and people
29:59can't afford their groceries
30:00and they can't afford
30:01now the fuel price
30:03at the pump
30:03has gone way up.
30:04They can't afford
30:05the cost of living
30:06and instead of focusing
30:07on that,
30:10we're spending
30:11probably a billion dollars
30:12a day in Iran
30:14and with every bomb
30:16that we drop,
30:17it's another investment
30:19we couldn't make at home
30:20and I just don't think
30:21that's where the country is.
30:23The price is already
30:25too high as far
30:26as I'm concerned
30:26with the loss
30:27of our service members.
30:28If there had been
30:29an imminent threat,
30:30I'm all with you.
30:31And Bill, you're right.
30:32I'm glad to see
30:33this regime gone.
30:34That's an unmitigated positive.
30:37I don't know, though,
30:38at the end of the day
30:39if we get, you know,
30:40the Ayatollah's son
30:42or some other cleric,
30:43whether it's going to square.
30:44I'm glad you brought it up
30:45because we got a hold
30:47of the job application.
30:50They are looking
30:53for a new Ayatollah.
30:54Would you like to hear
30:55what's on the...
30:56Okay, this is...
30:57All right.
30:59These are the questions
31:00on the job application
31:01for the next Ayatollah.
31:03Finish this sentence.
31:04The most satanic thing
31:05about Donald Trump
31:06is A, supporting Israel,
31:07B, dancing.
31:15Would you say
31:16you hate women enough
31:16to host a podcast
31:17sponsored by Protein Power?
31:25What words best complete
31:26this sentence?
31:27Death, A, by chocolate.
31:30B, cab for cutie.
31:33C, to America.
31:40Where do you see yourself
31:42in 10 wars?
31:50Jihad me at halal.
31:54Innocent word play
31:55or instant death sentence?
31:59In order to reach Gen Z,
32:01are you okay with the name
32:02Ayatollah 6-7?
32:11Where do you keep your wife?
32:18Have you ever
32:19accidentally smiled?
32:20If so, let's please explain.
32:26And which Sex and the City
32:28character are you?
32:29That's the other...
32:30I don't know how that
32:31got in there, but...
32:33All right.
32:34Let's turn to domestic affairs.
32:37Don, I see you're in the news
32:39quite a bit lately.
32:40Am I?
32:40Oh, I was at the
32:41Clive Davis Grammy party
32:43when Clive introduced you
32:44and you got the biggest
32:45ovation in the room.
32:48Kristi Noem fired this week.
32:50Do you feel vindicated?
32:51Do you feel like doing
32:52the Trump dance now?
32:54Do you want to be
32:54jerking off two guys at once?
32:56Not until Pam Bondi is.
32:59Then I'll do that.
33:01Double BJ.
33:05But Pam Bondi, she this week
33:07announced federal charges
33:08against 30 more people
33:10accused of civil rights
33:12violations there in the
33:14Minnesota church you were in.
33:15So explain to the pastor there
33:18was, we think, part of ICE?
33:21That's why the protest
33:22was going on there?
33:23Well, according to the
33:24protest group, one of the
33:26pastors was, I think,
33:27a regional director for ICE
33:29in that region.
33:30Pastors do that?
33:32Pastors are also
33:33regional directors of ICE?
33:34Yeah.
33:36There's things going on
33:37in this country.
33:38I'm just, I try to keep up
33:39with the news and I just,
33:42that, and they said you
33:43stood in close proximity
33:45to the pastor in an attempt
33:46to oppress and intimidate him.
33:49That's some powerful
33:50bullshit there, isn't it, John?
33:55I mean, so where are you now?
33:58I know they arrested you
34:00out here, right?
34:01And then what happened?
34:02You went to jail for a minute?
34:03I went to the federal
34:05courthouse and I was in,
34:07you know, in an isolation
34:09room or a room by myself.
34:11Really?
34:11Yeah, yeah.
34:12I had to spend the night
34:13in jail.
34:14Like Steve McQueen.
34:15Yeah.
34:15I spent the night,
34:16I spent the night,
34:16I spent the ball against
34:18the wall like in...
34:19I spent the night
34:20in a holding room
34:21in the federal courthouse.
34:22I had to do it once.
34:24It wasn't that bad.
34:24You did?
34:25Yeah, for a D.
34:26I'm 92.
34:27I got pinched for,
34:28I was this much over the limit.
34:30Had a couple of drinks.
34:31Drove home.
34:31I was wearing leopard print shoes.
34:33I'm sure that's why the...
34:35I'm sure that's why the cop
34:36was like,
34:37this asshole has got to go to jail.
34:39But you weren't
34:39slipping cocaine
34:40off of a dirty currency.
34:41I was not.
34:42But it was the Beverly Hills jail.
34:44It was, yeah, it was...
34:45Oh, well, you were
34:46in a fancy jail.
34:47It was a nightmare.
34:48Jail is jail.
34:49Are you kidding?
34:50When I ordered room service
34:51in the morning...
34:56I said...
35:00Raisin toast,
35:01no raisins in the toast.
35:02I was...
35:03I had avocado toast.
35:05All right.
35:05So, there was an election
35:08down in Texas.
35:09Big stuff.
35:10This is here
35:11in the Democratic Party.
35:12Adam, we've got to get you
35:13on this idea.
35:14This is James Tellarico.
35:17He was on the show
35:18a couple of weeks ago.
35:20Very impressive guy.
35:21Super talent.
35:22Okay.
35:22He beat Jasmine Crockett,
35:24who, you know,
35:25until this moment,
35:26I kept hearing
35:26rising star
35:27in the Democratic Party.
35:29Very charismatic.
35:30Fiery, yes.
35:31But very bright.
35:32Okay.
35:33People across
35:34the political...
35:34This is Tellarico talking.
35:36This is...
35:37I think this is just
35:38laying out
35:39the two wings
35:40of the party.
35:41There's the
35:42fuck Trump wing.
35:43Mm-hmm.
35:44You know,
35:45your old friend
35:46Katie Porter
35:46holds up signs,
35:48actually,
35:48that say thereof.
35:50Yeah, that's...
35:50Okay.
35:52That's one way
35:53to do a campaign.
35:54James says,
35:55people across the spectrum
35:56are hungry
35:56for a new kind
35:57of politics,
35:58not a politics
35:59of fear,
35:59of hate,
36:00of division,
36:01but a politics
36:02of love,
36:03a love that can heal
36:04what's broken
36:04in America.
36:05The love part,
36:06James,
36:06that's a little
36:07too far for me.
36:09I love to say
36:10fuck Trump.
36:11You can do both.
36:15Okay, but...
36:16I get your point.
36:18Yeah.
36:19I think Tellarico
36:20is just
36:21a tremendous talent.
36:23And Jasmine is, too.
36:24And Texans had a choice,
36:26Texas Democrats,
36:27between two,
36:28you know,
36:29up-and-coming
36:30rising stars.
36:32Tellarico
36:32is that unique talent
36:34that I think
36:34is deeply religious,
36:36deeply progressive,
36:39really resonating
36:40with people in Texas
36:41and outside of Texas.
36:43Texas could very well
36:44be in play,
36:44and I say that
36:45with hesitation
36:46because we've
36:46put our hopes there
36:48before,
36:48but I think
36:50if anyone
36:50at this moment
36:51can make a viable
36:53campaign
36:53and turn Texas
36:55blue in the Senate,
36:57it's someone like
36:58Tellarico,
36:58I think his message
36:59is perfectly suited.
37:01It's also a perfect
37:02message for a Democrat
37:03in Texas,
37:04which may not be
37:04the exact same message
37:05for a Democrat
37:06in California,
37:08and I'm hugely excited
37:09about his campaign.
37:10This is great news.
37:12I think this could
37:13actually be the year.
37:14I think it could be the year.
37:15I think they had two,
37:16as he said,
37:17two great choices
37:19and both,
37:20you know,
37:21different approaches,
37:22but I think that
37:22this could be the year,
37:24especially considering
37:25how the Republicans
37:26in the race
37:26are basically killing
37:28each other at this point
37:28and will during
37:29this entire process
37:30until November.
37:31But you seem to be
37:32avoiding the question,
37:33or maybe you do think
37:34you can have it both ways.
37:35I don't know
37:35if you can have it both ways.
37:36I think these are
37:37the two wings.
37:38One wing is the
37:39cut them off.
37:40You know,
37:41don't have dinner with them.
37:43Worst thing you could ever do.
37:45If your family voted for him,
37:46don't.
37:46Wait a minute,
37:47he's tweeting at you
37:48for having dinner with him
37:48and he hates you.
37:49What are you talking about?
37:51He hates me
37:52because I never stopped
37:53criticizing him
37:54and I never promised
37:54I would.
37:55I think the reality is
38:01you have to find a way
38:03to do both
38:04stand up to Trump
38:05and also deliver for people.
38:06Stand up,
38:06but I mean,
38:07don't you think
38:08after 10 years
38:09it's just a little,
38:10I mean,
38:10it's a bit of an eye roll.
38:12When people see that,
38:13they just think
38:13that's all you got.
38:15That's all you Democrats have
38:16is fuck Trump
38:17and we're looking
38:18for something different.
38:19It seems like
38:20Tallarico is making this case
38:21and I think
38:22the fact that he won
38:23in Texas
38:24I think says a lot.
38:25Well,
38:26I think it says a lot too
38:27but at the same time
38:29when Americans
38:29are getting killed
38:30in the streets
38:30in Minneapolis,
38:31it's not like
38:32you can ignore it
38:33and say,
38:33I'm going to have
38:34a positive love message.
38:36No,
38:37I'm not down
38:38with the love for it.
38:39We don't have to love.
38:40But you can do both
38:42and indeed,
38:43I think all of us
38:43are a different mixture
38:44of both
38:45a focus on,
38:47okay,
38:47this is our positive agenda.
38:49This is what we have
38:49to accomplish.
38:50We have to get shit done
38:51in California.
38:52This was really
38:52my theme
38:53in my Senate campaign.
38:54We have to get shit done.
38:56We have to be able
38:56to move forward.
38:57We have to be able
38:57to build things.
38:58We have to build
38:58a lot more housing.
38:59You have to have
39:00a positive message.
39:01It can't be just
39:02about fighting Trump.
39:04But as they say,
39:05your opposition
39:06has a vote too.
39:07And when your opposition
39:08is taking the country
39:09to war without
39:10your approval
39:11in Congress,
39:12when the opposition
39:12is killing people
39:13in the streets,
39:14you got to stand up
39:16to that too.
39:16I think Democrats
39:17have to be careful
39:18of this sort of
39:18kumbaya message
39:22because ultimately
39:22Democrats are going
39:24to elect the Democrat.
39:25And you want
39:26to energize
39:26the part of your party
39:28that's really for you.
39:29Like Donald Trump
39:30energized the MAGA,
39:31the staunch MAGA.
39:32You're not going
39:32to do that by kumbaya
39:33to the Republic.
39:35And we should have
39:35learned by now.
39:36This is normal times.
39:37I mean,
39:37that is the argument.
39:38I mean,
39:39Katie Porter,
39:39I think,
39:40is the one who said,
39:41I don't need Trump votes.
39:43This is where
39:44the rubber meets the road.
39:45Do you go,
39:46what you're saying
39:47is fuck the votes
39:48of the people
39:49who we are deplorable.
39:51We don't even want,
39:52we don't care about you
39:53at all.
39:54We're just going
39:54to go after them.
39:54That's not what I'm saying.
39:55I'm saying that you
39:56have to be careful
39:57because we are not
39:59in normal times
40:00where Donald Trump
40:01is not going to,
40:02you know,
40:03sit with a Democrat
40:04or anyone for that matter.
40:06It's all about
40:07Donald Trump.
40:08He has no ideology.
40:09It's all about
40:10Donald Trump,
40:10but just let me finish.
40:11And so they've got
40:13to be careful with that
40:14because that is not
40:15what Democrats want right now.
40:16They want a fighter.
40:17So I like James Tallarico,
40:19but I think he should
40:19be very careful
40:20about this sort of
40:21kumbaya,
40:22have to win over Republicans.
40:23Jasmine Crockett
40:24did very well
40:24just with black voters
40:25in Texas.
40:26Seven out of ten
40:27Trump voters
40:28are not committed.
40:30Yeah, see,
40:30committed to him.
40:32This is,
40:32that's a key stat there.
40:34Seven out of ten,
40:35to me,
40:36sounds somewhat gettable,
40:38especially in the atmosphere
40:39we're in now
40:39with a bad economy
40:41brewing.
40:41And if they're not with him,
40:42they don't like him
40:43probably more than
40:44the Democrats don't like him.
40:45So why do you need to appeal?
40:46They already don't like him.
40:47This is,
40:47I think,
40:48exactly the point,
40:49Bill.
40:49Wow.
40:50And I agree with you.
40:51To get them,
40:52to get them voting for you.
40:54It's one thing
40:54to oppose Trump.
40:56It's another
40:56to write off
40:58everyone who ever
40:59supported him.
40:59That's a terrible mistake.
41:01I sought out a seat
41:02on the Agriculture Committee
41:03because it would
41:04help me serve
41:05large parts
41:06of red California.
41:07People forget
41:08there are probably
41:09eight million people
41:10in California
41:11who are voting
41:13for Donald Trump
41:13or supporting
41:14Donald Trump.
41:15They're entitled
41:16to representation.
41:17And if you don't
41:19make the case to them,
41:21if you don't speak
41:22to them with respect,
41:22if you don't appeal
41:24to them,
41:24if you don't solicit
41:25their opinion on things
41:27and show you're open
41:28to working with them,
41:28then why should
41:29they support you?
41:30So I,
41:31it's my favorite part
41:32of the job,
41:32frankly,
41:33is talking to folks
41:34in these parts of the state
41:35that don't expect
41:35me to go there.
41:36I had a meeting
41:37with a group
41:37of farmers
41:38in Butte County,
41:39red as red can be,
41:40and I knew the meeting
41:41was going well
41:41at the end
41:42when one of the farmers
41:43says,
41:44I don't know why
41:44the president calls you
41:45watermelon head.
41:47You've got a perfectly
41:48normal-sized head.
41:49And that's when I knew
41:53I was making progress.
41:56But yeah,
41:57for a reporter
41:58or anyone else
41:59to write off
42:00a large part of people
42:01or even say,
42:03I don't need Republican votes.
42:05Whether you need them
42:06or not,
42:06you should want them.
42:07And you should court them
42:09and cultivate them.
42:12And so that's,
42:13I think,
42:14a terrible...
42:14What did you think
42:15of the trap
42:15that Trump laid
42:17in the State of the Union
42:18address
42:18where he...
42:20Just show the tape there
42:21because I think
42:22it's self-explanatory
42:23what he did.
42:24If you agree
42:25with this statement,
42:27then stand up
42:28and show your support.
42:29The first duty
42:31of the American government
42:33is to protect
42:34American citizens,
42:35not illegal aliens.
42:37And the Democrats
42:39didn't stand.
42:40I mean,
42:40obviously,
42:41it's a deliberate trap
42:43because, you know,
42:44they always played
42:45these games
42:46of Simon Says
42:47there
42:47at the State of the Union.
42:49Well, I think
42:50you and I agree on
42:51this is all performative.
42:52I know,
42:53but is it going to look bad
42:54in campaign ads?
42:55I don't think anyone's
42:56going to remember that
42:57come campaign.
42:58Well, they will
42:59if they put it in the ad.
43:00That juxt...
43:01That...
43:02Well, that juxtaposed
43:03to pulling people
43:04out of their cars,
43:05dragging them across the snow.
43:07Put that in the ad, too.
43:08In the Democrat ad, sure.
43:09That will drown
43:09that message out
43:10for one moment.
43:11No one ever...
43:11The opposing party
43:12never stands up.
43:13It's just...
43:15I didn't go
43:16to the State of the Union.
43:17They're trying
43:18to arrest this guy.
43:19They're trying
43:20to indict
43:20to my colleagues.
43:21They're trying
43:22to go after me.
43:23I don't think
43:24you treat this moment
43:25as business as usual.
43:27But it was
43:28a hard decision.
43:28I've gone to every
43:29State of the Union
43:29for 25 years
43:31out of respect
43:32for the office,
43:33but now we have
43:33a guy in the office
43:35who doesn't respect
43:35the office.
43:36And this is a perfect
43:37illustration of that.
43:40Had I been there,
43:41what would I have done?
43:42You'd have to
43:43wake me up first.
43:46And then,
43:47I don't know,
43:48I probably...
43:50He's very bored.
43:52I probably would have
43:54gone along
43:54with the Democratic
43:55strategy,
43:56which is,
43:56unless it's a war hero
43:58in the gallery
43:58or the U.S. hockey team,
43:59you stay in your seat,
44:00you're respectful,
44:01you're silent,
44:02you're not holding
44:02up paddles,
44:03you're not being disruptive,
44:05but you're also
44:06not giving the appearance
44:08that somehow
44:09this is okay,
44:10this presidency
44:11is okay.
44:13He's trying
44:14to jail
44:14the opposition.
44:15He's trying
44:16to put members
44:17of the press
44:17in jail,
44:18he's soliciting
44:18bribes
44:19from press organizations,
44:21he's going
44:21after law firms,
44:22he's going
44:22after universities,
44:24he's having
44:25his ICE agents
44:26kill people
44:26in the streets.
44:27We just can't
44:28act like this
44:29is somehow okay.
44:31And,
44:33I don't know,
44:33for me,
44:34sitting there,
44:36validating
44:36what he's doing,
44:37acting like
44:38there's nothing
44:39going on
44:39was too much.
44:40This year
44:41was too much.
44:42Okay.
44:43And,
44:43all right,
44:44what he said.
44:45Do you want to
44:45join my little team?
44:47Thank you,
44:47gentlemen.
44:48Time for new rules.
44:56All right.
44:57New rule,
44:58Pete Hegseth
44:58has to come up
44:59with a name
44:59for one of our
45:00military actions
45:01that doesn't sound
45:02like a nickname
45:03name for his penis.
45:10So far,
45:11we've had
45:11Operation Southern Spear,
45:15Operation Midnight Hammer,
45:16and now Epic Fury.
45:19Ask any woman,
45:20when a guy talks
45:21like that all the time,
45:22he tends to be
45:23Operation Warp Speed.
45:32New rule,
45:32someone has to tell
45:33the Kuwaiti fighter pilot
45:34who accidentally
45:35shot down
45:36three American F-15s
45:37this week
45:38because he mistook them
45:39for enemy
45:39Iranian pilots.
45:40Dude,
45:41all you have to do
45:42to tell who
45:43the bad guys are
45:44is watch movies.
45:48Enemy pilots,
45:49they all wear
45:49dark helmets
45:50to let everyone
45:51know they're evil.
45:52Our pilots,
45:54you can see them
45:55plain as day
45:55and they're always hot.
46:03New rule,
46:04Gwyneth Paltrow,
46:05who lost an earring
46:06sometime during
46:07the Actor Awards,
46:09mustn't worry,
46:09it'll turn up.
46:10It's always
46:11in the last place
46:12you look.
46:13But let's not
46:13ignore the obvious.
46:15Have you checked
46:15your vagina?
46:25New rule,
46:26now that they've
46:26opened the first ever
46:27dual Applebee's
46:29and IHOP restaurant,
46:30Waffle House
46:31must combine
46:31with Denny's
46:32to battle them
46:33for white trash supremacy.
46:41with the winner
46:42getting to face
46:43the KFC-Taco-Bell
46:44combo in the
46:45championship lap.
46:52White trash restaurants,
46:54they're just like
46:54movie studios.
46:56You gotta get bigger
46:56or you'll die.
47:04welcome aboard,
47:05Paramount.
47:06I hope you like me.
47:15But in case you don't,
47:16I ain't gonna change.
47:26New rule,
47:26don't tell New Yorkers
47:27that the upside
47:28to the brutal winter
47:29they had this year
47:30is fewer rats
47:31in the street.
47:32Yeah, and also
47:33fewer weirdos
47:34hanging out
47:35in Times Square
47:36trying to fill you up,
47:37you know?
47:37And if the rats
47:38aren't in the street
47:40or dragging pizza
47:41up from the subway,
47:42where are they?
47:43Yeah, your apartment.
47:50And finally,
47:52New rule,
47:52someone has to help
47:53Donald Trump understand
47:54that I don't suffer
47:55from Trump
47:56derangement syndrome.
47:57He suffers from
47:58Bill Maher
47:58derangement syndrome.
48:07Okay, three weeks ago,
48:09I woke up to some things
48:10the president had written
48:11on his truth
48:12social media platform
48:13that somehow
48:14were not true.
48:17I don't know
48:18how they got in there.
48:19It's not like the president
48:20to just make things up
48:21when he's mad.
48:24But on this occasion,
48:25he did,
48:26which I forgive,
48:27but on Valentine's Day,
48:29that hurt.
48:32But just to set
48:33the record straight
48:34from what the president
48:35claimed,
48:36I didn't ask
48:37for the dinner.
48:38Our mutual friend
48:39asked me.
48:40It's on tape
48:41from my podcast.
48:43Also, I wasn't
48:44nervous and scared,
48:45and the dinner
48:46wasn't quick.
48:47I was there
48:47almost three hours,
48:48and it wasn't vodka,
48:50it was a margarita.
48:51I didn't ask for it
48:52right away.
48:52I had a drink
48:53before dinner,
48:54and then a couple more
48:55during.
48:56I was having a good time.
48:58So were you, Don,
48:59because we were talking
49:00like real humans,
49:01not like that crazy act
49:02you put on in public.
49:04But I know
49:04that's what you do.
49:06You are, if anything,
49:07a man who wears
49:08his heart on his sleeve,
49:09and so you did here,
49:10listing your accomplishments
49:12and how hurt you feel
49:13that people,
49:13including me,
49:14have not recognized
49:15them enough.
49:17I understand that feeling.
49:18You texted me soon
49:20after the dinner
49:20complaining I was still
49:22part of the lunatic left.
49:24And how you should have
49:25won a Nobel Prize
49:26for ending wars,
49:27and I texted back,
49:28yeah,
49:29and I should have
49:29won 20 Emmys.
49:39We argued for a while,
49:41and you ended by saying,
49:42Bill, you know what?
49:43Don't change.
49:44I wouldn't know
49:45what to do with you
49:46if you did.
49:46Okay, that's the normal
49:48human being.
49:48I saw the night
49:49we broke bread,
49:50and as long as I think
49:51there's even a spark
49:52of a possibility
49:53to bring that guy
49:53out more,
49:54I will not consider
49:55the dinner
49:56a waste of time,
49:58even as I now see
49:59we're back to name-calling,
50:00and that I have
50:01some new ones,
50:02like highly overrated
50:03lightweight to add
50:04to the list you signed.
50:08I'll be by
50:09with the new one.
50:16But let's go through
50:18the things you're
50:18butthurt about,
50:19people not having noticed,
50:21because some people
50:22do have TDS.
50:24But you know what?
50:25I've called people out
50:26for making hating you
50:27their entire reason
50:29to live.
50:29Get a life.
50:31Stop making him
50:32your whole personality.
50:34But Don,
50:35you have to take
50:36some responsibility
50:37for that,
50:38because you make
50:39people crazy.
50:40Because you...
50:46Because you do things
50:48that are racist,
50:49misogynistic,
50:50anti-democratic,
50:51and corrupt.
50:52But I'll prove now
50:53I don't have
50:54the dreaded TDS.
50:56First off,
50:57despite all the hate
50:58I got from my side,
51:00I never threw you
51:01under the bus
51:01and said,
51:02oh, you're right,
51:03I shouldn't have
51:03ate steak with Hitler.
51:05Because that's stupid.
51:07Access to the president
51:09of the United States,
51:10are you kidding?
51:11You can't put a price
51:12on that.
51:13Although, Don,
51:14quite frankly,
51:14you do put a price
51:15on that all the time.
51:24I consider myself
51:25lucky I got in
51:26to talk to you
51:27without giving you
51:28a 747
51:29or buying you
51:31a cryptocurrency
51:37or giving you
51:38my Nobel Prize.
51:42But let's continue.
51:45You say,
51:46no mention
51:46of the perfect border.
51:48The border is closed.
51:49The border's a win.
51:50The border's a win.
51:51You mentioned
51:52the mass removal
51:53of stone-cold criminals.
51:55This is what got Trump elected.
51:56We're going to get
51:57the gangs out.
51:58We don't want to become
51:59the kidnap country.
52:00They're taking out
52:01of Iran's nuclear capability.
52:03I was very supportive
52:04of bombing
52:05the nuclear facility
52:06in Iran.
52:07I thought that was great.
52:08Venezuela.
52:09Do I love everything
52:10about it?
52:10No.
52:11But do I hate it?
52:12No.
52:12If he somehow gets
52:13Venezuela, Cuba,
52:14and Iran
52:15all to be
52:16not these horrible
52:17places they were,
52:18he should get
52:18a Nobel Peace Prize.
52:20The return of the hostages
52:21and the peace deal
52:22in the Middle East
52:23where the liberal panel
52:24was praising you.
52:26A lot of people
52:27tried to pull this off.
52:28He did.
52:29Give him credit.
52:30If he's good
52:30at getting deals
52:31done overseas,
52:32give him credit for it.
52:33And here's a few
52:34you didn't even mention.
52:35The Golden Dome
52:36Missile Shield.
52:37Just because Trump
52:38thought of it,
52:39I'm not against it.
52:40NATO.
52:41He said,
52:42look,
52:42NATO hasn't been
52:43paying their fair share.
52:44I'm going to make
52:45them do that.
52:45He wasn't wrong
52:46about that.
52:47Israel.
52:48Moving Israel's
52:49embassy to Jerusalem.
52:50Loved it.
52:51Animals and marijuana.
52:53He did an animal rights
52:54thing that all
52:55my PETA friends loved.
52:56Pot.
52:57It's not a schedule
52:58one anymore.
53:01Penises.
53:05Penises do not belong
53:07in women's prisons.
53:09He's not wrong
53:09about that.
53:10And not just penises.
53:12Ballroom.
53:14We don't have a place
53:15when they have
53:15state dinners.
53:16They're doing it
53:17in a tent.
53:18This is America.
53:19So do I give a shit
53:21that he's doing this
53:22to the White House?
53:23I really don't.
53:24And giving props
53:25for saying about
53:26the Nick Fuentes
53:26today's Jew-hating wing
53:28of the Republican Party.
53:30Trump is the one
53:31who said,
53:32and I give him
53:32credit for this,
53:33he said,
53:33we don't want you.
53:36And the economy?
53:37About a month ago,
53:38I said,
53:38look, I had to own it.
53:40I said,
53:40I thought by July 4th
53:42the economy would be
53:42in the shitter,
53:43and it wasn't.
53:44I was wrong.
53:45See, that's the difference
53:46between you and me, Don.
53:48I can admit when I'm wrong,
53:50and I can be honest.
53:51In fact,
53:51I may be the last person
53:53from the lunatic left
53:54that is still an honest broker
53:56when it comes to you.
54:04But honest goes both ways.
54:06It's a shame
54:07you can't take criticism,
54:08because in an alternative universe
54:10where we could have
54:11further honest conversations,
54:13I could say things to you
54:14that might be quite helpful,
54:16like,
54:16Don,
54:17I'm going to level with you.
54:18I'm going to give it
54:19to you straight.
54:20Some people don't like you.
54:26No, really.
54:30Now, me,
54:31I go by what George Bush
54:33said to Obama
54:34on the day he was inaugurated.
54:36We want you to succeed.
54:37I always want
54:38the American president
54:39to succeed,
54:40and I do give credit
54:42when you have.
54:43But there's lots of stuff
54:44you do
54:44that is not my idea
54:46of success,
54:46and I have every right
54:47to say so
54:48in a democracy.
54:56Ice?
54:57Yeah,
54:58I'm glad you got rid
54:58of stone-cold criminals,
55:00but no one wanted
55:01the sadism
55:02and stupidity
55:03that went along with it.
55:04Doge?
55:05A complete disaster.
55:06People died for no reason,
55:08and it cut no government waste.
55:10Coal?
55:11Is not beautiful
55:12or clean.
55:13Criminalizing dissent
55:14is wrong,
55:15and so is the juvenile trolling
55:17and suing people
55:18into silence.
55:36Don,
55:36there are things
55:37that you do
55:37that we,
55:38not just me,
55:39but we,
55:39I mean,
55:40even the people
55:40who are too scared
55:41to talk to you straight,
55:43just don't get about you.
55:45Taking the side
55:45of autocrats
55:46instead of democratic allies
55:48around the world?
55:49Who hates Canada?
55:58And wind?
56:00You hate the wind?
56:03And then you wonder
56:04why I can't tell
56:06what's a joke
56:06and what isn't?
56:08It's not derangement
56:10for me to be always
56:11calling out
56:12the election-denying obsession
56:13you have
56:14or the pardons
56:15from my friends
56:16and punishment
56:17from my enemies'
56:18mode of governing
56:19or the side deals
56:20for your family
56:21that always seem
56:22to be part of everything.
56:24We see how rich
56:25you've all become,
56:26but the people
56:27of West Virginia
56:28don't seem to be
56:29feeling the winning.
56:30A Democratic senator
56:32recently said
56:33of your administration,
56:34they are the elites
56:36they pretend to hate.
56:38Free advice.
56:39If the Democrats
56:40ever learn
56:40to weaponize
56:41that message,
56:42your MAGA movement
56:43is in big trouble.
56:45Thank you very much.
56:46That's our show.
56:47I want to thank
56:47my guests,
56:48Senator Adam Schiff,
56:49John Lemon,
56:50and Annabelle Gerwitz.
56:51Club Random
56:52drops every Monday
56:53on YouTube
56:53or listen wherever
56:54you get your podcast.
56:55Now go watch
56:55Overtime on YouTube.
56:57Thank you very much,
56:58ladies and gentlemen.
57:00Ah, great time to agree.
57:19Yee-haw!
57:21Yee-haw!
57:23Yee-haw!
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