- 2 days ago
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00:28This is a production of WGBH.
00:39Mum, what time's Dad back?
00:41Mum!
00:42Mum!
00:45What time's Dad back?
00:46About three.
00:48Come on, get to school.
00:49Gonna be late.
00:50Bye.
01:10Why does my heart feel so great?
01:20Why does my soul feel so great?
01:26How far away are you?
01:32Hey, first day at work, are you OK?
01:34Awkward.
01:36I got through it.
01:37Much like last night.
01:39Things are always going to feel strange.
01:42You know, things will get better, though.
01:43I know they will.
01:44Are you talking about the work or the sex?
01:46Both.
01:50There's a support group on tonight.
01:53At the community centre.
01:55And we know this, how?
01:57I've been googling it.
01:58Only cos I care.
02:00You don't want me to mention it anymore, I won't mention it.
02:02Oh, no.
02:04Is this guy made a rubber or what?
02:05Can't even touch my toes, mate.
02:13Remind me again why all of a sudden you're becoming a yoga teacher.
02:16Vicky is asking me to help her come up with a personal training plan.
02:19Said that she finds her doing a bit of yoga, so...
02:23It all makes sense, though.
02:24He's trying to repress a girl.
02:26Yeah, well, now she's not even coming.
02:27Since she's got some crisis at home.
02:30I don't know what I'm doing with me.
02:31I might just cancel.
02:33I feel well better if someone got hurt.
02:35You can't let everyone else down.
02:37Why don't you say a good little money earner?
02:39That's the only thing I'll ask for the money back.
02:43Things we do for love, eh?
02:51Weren't we having a rematch?
02:53Let me think about it.
02:54Never.
02:54He's such a sore loser.
02:56You're such an ungracious winner.
02:57Oh, come on.
02:58I'm allowed to glow.
02:58I've had a stroke.
02:59A couple of months ago, I couldn't even hold a gold club,
03:01let alone thrash me little brother.
03:03Just like the old days, eh, Dom?
03:05I'd always have pitied part time.
03:06It's not exactly the masses, is it?
03:07Hey.
03:08Oh, come here.
03:09Thank goodness you're back.
03:10I didn't give it to the light.
03:11Yeah, of course.
03:12I'm just made up to see you, that's all.
03:13You should go way more often.
03:15Right, sit down.
03:15I'll make you the brew.
03:17Oh, well.
03:18I'll get the rest of the bags in, shall I?
03:20Yep.
03:30You didn't have to walk me to work.
03:33That's the least I could do.
03:35You've given up my spare room for me.
03:38It can't be easy having me back in the house.
03:43Gemma and Vicky have missed you.
03:45I thought you might go out with them this night.
03:49No, I got the distinct feeling that they wanted to talk.
03:52About me, probably.
03:54And Dylan's come to see his mystery friend.
03:56He was very catchy about that, wasn't he?
04:00Don't know what's going on there.
04:02Nothing bad, I hope.
04:03I'm not sure this family can handle any more bombshells.
04:07I'm so sorry.
04:08That sounded insensitive.
04:11I just meant...
04:12It's okay, miss.
04:13I know what you meant.
04:14You don't need to tread on eggshells, bro.
04:17I just want things to work to know all between us.
04:21Colin.
04:23Hey.
04:24Hey, Miss Buck.
04:25Mate, I'm glad I caught you up.
04:29I'm thinking of trying out a support group this evening.
04:32I thought you might want to go together.
04:34That's a really good idea.
04:35I can't.
04:36I'm busy.
04:37I'm going to reopen the pizza kiosk.
04:40It's time I got back to work.
04:43Don, if you change your mind...
04:44I want to.
04:50He, er...
04:51...made his official statement to the police this morning.
04:55And now he wants everything to go back to the way it was.
04:59Like it never happened.
05:02But if you don't talk about it...
05:04I know.
05:06He'll lose himself again.
05:13You know, I feel like I've turned the corner.
05:15You should have seen me, Diane.
05:17I sailed round that golf course.
05:18Oh, he's not still banging on about that, is he?
05:20Hey, it's a big deal.
05:21I almost feel like my old self again.
05:23Yeah.
05:24Full of yourself.
05:25Do you know what?
05:26I think it's brilliant.
05:29You know, after all these months...
05:30...I feel like I'm ready to go back to work.
05:32You know, start living my life again.
05:34So come and tell me what I've missed.
05:36Kid's been driving you round the bend, have they?
05:38No more than usual.
05:39Anyway, I'll...
05:40I'll fill you in once your Dom's gone home.
05:43I thought I told you Dom's staying.
05:45No, you didn't.
05:46Well, yeah, it makes sense.
05:47It's a long drive and it's nearly dark.
05:48Tony, really?
05:49Well, come on, what have I meant to say?
05:51Well, after three weeks of your wife coping on her own...
05:53...she wouldn't mind spending some alone time with her husband.
05:57Something happened?
05:59I know.
06:01No, everything's fine.
06:03Forget about it.
06:05Tom, how many sugars in your tea, love?
06:08Erm, just two, please.
06:10Two, yeah.
06:12No.
06:13I can't believe it.
06:14Oh, poor Donny.
06:16Oh, sorry.
06:16I feel bad for telling you.
06:18I'm glad you did.
06:19You all must be going through it now.
06:21You know, we all knew something was wrong with him.
06:25I just didn't think it would be that.
06:28You know, not in a million years.
06:31You know, you've always been there to pick me up off the floor when I've needed it.
06:35And now that you need me, I'm stuck in here.
06:39No, it's fine.
06:40Talking about it helps, you know.
06:46Oh, it feels like you only just got out of here.
06:51I'm so sorry, I can't do more to help.
06:55I'm going to be okay.
06:58You've got loads of things to worry about.
07:13Is Dad back, yeah?
07:15Yeah, erm, he's upstairs with Uncle Tom.
07:17Oh, you better have presents for us.
07:19You're such a little brat.
07:20I'm only saying what you're thinking.
07:22Hey.
07:24Oh, go on.
07:25Hit me with it.
07:26What have they done now?
07:27I'm actually not here on school business.
07:29Thank goodness for that.
07:31Not that my day could get any worse.
07:32I don't know about that.
07:34You've forgotten, haven't you?
07:36Forgotten what?
07:37Yoga!
07:39Oh, yoga.
07:40Nancy, I'm really sorry, but I'm just on the own ability.
07:43No, I feel exactly the same way, which is why we should go.
07:46Come on.
07:47It might be a laugh.
07:49You never know.
07:49Someone might trump doing Downward Dog.
07:51Go on, go on then.
07:53Just where he's at, quickly get changed.
08:06Hey.
08:07How are you doing out of work?
08:09I told them I had a migraine.
08:11Don't use this guy, right?
08:13There's a first time for everything.
08:15If you're here to try and persuade me to go to that meeting.
08:17I'm here because I want you to teach me how to make a pizza.
08:28You could have told me Prince was the instructor.
08:30I feel that self-conscious now.
08:31Why?
08:32He's seen you bend over before, hasn't he?
08:33Has he?
08:35Well, the last time he was in this school, he was manufacturing steroids, so this is his
08:38chance to redeem himself.
08:40Oh, engagement party was fun, though, wasn't it?
08:42Yeah.
08:43Although, Frankie did tell us that she's going to leave home.
08:46She's gotten to ballet school, which is obviously brilliant, but how's she going to feel so empty
08:50without her?
08:51OK, guys, we're about to get started, if you'd like to find a place for your mum.
08:55But you, Di, what's new with you?
08:57What's new with me?
08:59Well, Tony's been on holiday with his brother for the past three weeks, leaving me to deal
09:02with the two businesses, or the kids, and stage four, Iranian cancer.
09:29Well, it's you.
09:30How are you, Lucas?
09:34I'm not pretending you care.
09:36Right, I know why you want to help me.
09:38It's your way of sticking two fingers up at my dad.
09:42Tell me I'm wrong.
09:45Maybe I blame myself for what you did to Steve.
09:49Alone behavior.
09:52Cycle of abuse.
09:53I assume these are phrases your therapist uses.
09:57At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what my motives are.
10:02I can get those charges dropped.
10:06I assume that's why I'm here.
10:08No.
10:12What, then?
10:14Our jaw back's on an inhale.
10:17I don't understand you.
10:19Not being able, have you?
10:20Well, I went to the GP or something bigger because they're being spot on.
10:25And out through the mouth.
10:26I'm bloated and felt tired all the time.
10:29There's really bad pains in me abdomen.
10:30A bit steady and slow.
10:31I think they both put me in for all kinds of tests.
10:34Scans and biopsies.
10:35And out.
10:36I got the results back yesterday.
10:38All right, now let's get into a downward dog.
10:40Lift your hips.
10:42Straighten your legs.
10:44And get into an inverted V-shirt.
10:45Oh, well, that's disappointing.
10:47Nobody's drawn to her.
10:49Yeah, you.
10:50Thought he said it was going to be fun.
10:51Yeah, well, that was before he dropped the C-bomb.
10:54Now let's transition to her upward facing dog.
10:56Lower your hips.
10:59I'm sorry, I can't do this.
11:01Okay, so what have they said about treatment?
11:03Him.
11:05It's all his express.
11:08Yeah, it's in me lymph nodes, me.
11:11Me liver.
11:13Chemo's the option, you know what?
11:15But there's no guarantees.
11:17They don't know if I'll give him more time.
11:20Excuse me, I need a minute.
11:30In case you were wondering,
11:32I wanted it to look like an amoeba.
11:37And the final step is the cheese.
11:40And that's a blend of mozzarella and fontina.
11:43But that is top secret.
11:45So keep it to yourself.
11:52You know, after I was raped,
11:56I took up painting.
11:58I was terrible at that tiff.
12:03But it helped.
12:07I think the pizza were...
12:14It's the way it pretended to be, Mick.
12:16I could put a raise in the last 20 years,
12:18all the bad choices that I made.
12:21I know I meant to talk about it like Dutch it does.
12:27But I can't.
12:33What's wrong with it, Miss?
12:58I'm so sorry.
12:59If this isn't happening to me,
13:01it's happening to you,
13:02and you needed me to be strong enough.
13:03Nancy, it's fine.
13:05Come on, it's my fault.
13:06I shouldn't have just
13:06let it out the way it is.
13:09The lot's taken.
13:10How did Tony take it?
13:14No one told him, yes.
13:16Diane.
13:17Nancy, I really have not the chance to.
13:21Well, maybe I've just been finding the excuses to put it off.
13:28Tony's just recovered from that stroke, and he's, oh, he's at full hope right now.
13:35He's got to destroy him.
13:38He's got to destroy the family.
13:43I don't know if I'm going to find the way to the teller.
13:46No.
13:54Hello?
13:56Hey, it's me.
14:00How did you get a fan?
14:02Coding a favour?
14:04I said I wanted to do more.
14:06So here I am.
14:10So, what do you want to talk about?
14:12What trips to South America?
14:14What you had for dinner tonight?
14:15Or how many hyenas it would take to kill a lion?
14:20Are you smiling?
14:22Yeah.
14:24Yeah, I am.
14:27Dodgers from a different generation.
14:30Different time.
14:33Our parents never encouraged us to share our feelings.
14:39Black man growing up in Toxteth wasn't allowed to show weakness.
14:45Had to hold yourself in a certain kind of way.
14:51Like you were wearing armour.
14:56Defending yourself from the constant criticism and judgment.
15:04Our right abuse sometimes.
15:07You haven't spoken much about your childhood.
15:10It was tough.
15:12No worries that anyone else is on our streets.
15:17Racism and deprivation, it's all I knew.
15:21So I suffered.
15:23It's silence.
15:26Burying my trauma like I was taught.
15:30But then the riots happened.
15:33It was like this explosion of hate.
15:37And you still feel you have to wear your armour?
15:40It's right.
15:43Because all that judgment and discrimination still exists.
15:49Well, it's not as overt, but it's still out there.
15:54Especially in the police.
15:56You know, you know, I had to work hard, act tougher and be more alpha than any of my white
16:03colleagues.
16:04Because I knew that deep down, they didn't think I was good enough to be there.
16:09I was the one black man in that room and I carried everything and I asked for nothing.
16:20I pushed away people in the process.
16:29You are safe.
16:32To be honest about your feelings with me.
16:38No one is judging you now.
16:53My partner's been really supportive.
17:00And patient.
17:04But I've struggled to be intimate with her.
17:15This might be an overshare, but last night I had sex for the first time since my attack.
17:27It wasn't good.
17:30And now I'm terrified that I might never be able to love someone that way again.
17:41If I fall asleep, will you still on the line?
17:46Lucas.
17:50Lucas.
17:55Lucas.
17:56Sweet dreams.
18:07Hey.
18:08Has Tom gone to bed?
18:11I said it back.
18:13Oh, Tony, you didn't need to do that.
18:15I was just being a grump.
18:37I found it in your bag.
18:40I was only looking for a pen.
18:44It's bad, isn't it?
18:52It's bad, isn't it?
18:54We've got about six months.
18:58Hey.
19:02It's OK.
19:03It's better.
19:06You're tired.
19:07It's better.
19:12No.
19:13It's better.
19:16Oh.
19:20No.
19:24No.
19:27No.
19:29No.
19:30No.
19:30No.
19:31You
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