She Could Not Trust Her Stepfather Growing Up

Unfiltered Stories

In today's powerful episode of Unfiltered Stories, we have the honor of hearing from Cherrelle Haney-Jones as she bravely shares her life story with us. Growing up, Cherrelle's childhood was marred by the actions of her stepfather, who subjected her to deeply traumatic experiences. Whenever he found himself in a state of anger, he would direct his frustrations towards Cherrelle and her family, leaving an indelible mark on their lives.   Despite the immense challenges she has faced, Cherrelle's unwavering determination to heal and help others shines through. As she works on her second book, which delves into her personal experiences, Cherrelle stands as a powerful example of the incredible strength and resilience that survivors possess. Her journey serves as an inspiration to anyone who has undergone trauma, reminding us that it is possible to reclaim one's life and find purpose in the face of adversity. Join us as we listen to Cherrelle's moving story and bear witness to the transformative power of sharing our truths.   #UnfilteredStories #survivorstories   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.  Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.    🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is Sherelle Haney and I'm a survivor of rape and molestation. My mom had me when she was

00:0514. My sister's dad, which was my stepdad, he wasn't the nicest. Most of the time, you know,

00:12he was really mean, abusive. He beat our mom a lot. Most of the times when we got in trouble

00:18when I

00:18was abused, it would most likely be when he was and at the time I didn't really understand, didn't

00:25know or whatnot, but I just know that whenever he was upset, you know, he would take it out on

00:31us as

00:32the kids or my mother. So it started out as my mother was only one who worked. She would work,

00:38you know, jobs here and there or whatnot, and therefore that would leave myself and my siblings

00:43in the house with my stepdad. I don't really have a time or whatnot. I just know that it started

00:49maybe when I was about five years old until seven or eight, but it started off as he would make

00:55me

00:56do around. That happened, you know, here and there. And soon enough, he tried to me or would

01:02me. It went from starting out to just fully trying to or having me and just being so young, you

01:11know,

01:11like for one, I didn't have help. I didn't know, understand what was going on. I just knew that it

01:17and I was in a lot of pain and I didn't understand why he was doing this to me. I

01:21wanted to tell my

01:22mom, but she would say that I was lying. I made it up. She wouldn't believe me pretty much. I

01:29didn't

01:29know what to do. So anytime she left or it will be times where she was in her room, which

01:33wasn't far

01:34from the living room or upstairs. And what was weird was that at times he, you know, leave the from

01:39their bedroom and come to me and, you know, have me perform or sex or write me or whatnot. But

01:45it was

01:45weird because she never got up to see, you know, where he was at or what he was doing or

01:49anything.

01:50I was really hurt that my mom didn't believe me, wouldn't believe me or anything. Most importantly,

01:55he would tell me if I told anyone, he would beat me. Most of the time I didn't tell him

02:00until I just

02:00got fed up, but nothing was done about her or anything. The beatings, they will happen often.

02:07Most of the time after he would put his hands on our mother, when my mother got beat up or

02:12whatnot,

02:13he, you know, would come to myself or my, my brother and we would get whatever we had in the

02:19house or home, he would go and sell and exchange it for. And sometimes I would have money from like

02:25a relative, not really much, but it was like, you know, anything valuable, any type of money,

02:30you know, he would try to, well, he would take it away. It all happened one night. I can't remember

02:36what happened, but I just know I was pulled from my bedroom where me and my sister slept. My brother

02:42wasn't at the house. He was with his father and I was half asleep. I was asking what was going

02:46on

02:46and he was pulling me by the arm and took me in my mother's room. My mother was just sitting

02:51there.

02:51And so, you know, everything is really a blur, but next thing I know they were arguing or whatnot.

02:57He started hitting her, just start being abusive for no reason. And I'm just crying or whatnot. And so

03:04he had a knife. He put it to my neck, my mom's neck. And he said, should I kill y

03:10'all or should I go to

03:11jail? He molested my mom in front of me and then raped me in front on me in front of

03:18my mother or

03:18next to my mother. Went to bed. Of course, you know, I'm confused. I'm crying. I'm thinking he's

03:24going to kill us. I'm scared to death. The next day, surprisingly, he didn't kill us. My mom somehow

03:30was able to get to a phone and she called the police. And so when the police came, they asked,

03:37you know, what was going on. And she told them that, you know, let them know that he was beating

03:41on her or whatnot. So domestic violence, you know, so they handcuffed him for that. I thought that was

03:47the end of it. Not only did he go to jail for domestic violence, then now they know about,

03:54you know, me being raped and molested. And so I had to talk to a detective or whatnot. I had

03:58to,

03:59you know, they had a dial where, you know, they ask you, you know, what happened? Did he touch you

04:03here? Did he touch you there? And I was scared. And I told them that, and, you know, they made

04:07me

04:07feel comfortable. And I, you know, explained to them on a dial, like, you know, yes, he touched

04:11me inappropriately. And he, you know, was doing things that he was not supposed to do to me.

04:16I was terrified, you know, for one, I didn't know anything about jail really being so young. And then

04:23all I thought about was, for one, I just want my mom. I just want to be with my mom.

04:28And then two,

04:29he might come back out and, you know, whoop me, beat me. And, you know, he threatened to kill me,

04:34you know, so there's no telling, you know, what's going to happen or whatnot. He was in prison,

04:40I would say, maybe close to 20 years. We were going to the courthouse, me and my mom. We get

04:45down

04:46there. Next thing I know, I'm in a room and she's in a separate room. And they tell me that

04:52they're

04:52going to take me somewhere. And I looked at my mom, I started crying. I'm like, you know,

04:57where am I going? Where are you taking me? And my knowledge, they were actually sending me off to

05:02a foster home. And it ripped my heart into pieces. Like, all I wanted was my mom. I didn't understand

05:08what was going on. I was scared. She stood there and actually just looked like she didn't hug me.

05:13She didn't kiss me goodbye or anything. She just, it was just like, she just let it happen. She

05:17didn't fight for me. Literally every foster home that I went to, I was molested. I was such an

05:21inappropriate. I told the first foster mom, you know, that the person was such an inappropriate

05:26really doing stuff, you know, pretty much. So I was lying once again, she didn't believe me. So

05:32last thing I know, not even probably two months or three months, myself and my sister, we were sent

05:37off to another foster home. Just know we got treated, you know, we got treated fairly. It wasn't any

05:42violence in the home or anything. Like they had two dogs that we love. Like it was like pretty much

05:49that you dream of, of being a kid, just having a mom and dad, siblings, got a nice dog or

05:54two,

05:54nice house. But sooner or later, the oldest son, he started touching me inappropriately. He was

06:01sneaking to my room sometime and like touch my, play with my, and I am only in maybe third, fourth

06:06grade

06:07at that time. You know, I didn't say anything or whatever, cause I didn't want to get him in trouble

06:11when in me with the luck I had, I'm just like, okay, well maybe he stopped. Maybe he'll stop,

06:15you know, this day or that day and whatnot. But it prolonged for a while and I was just,

06:21got fed up. I went and I talked to my foster mom. I told her, you know, what happened,

06:26what was going on, how long, you know, what was going on. So we had a meeting, a family meeting,

06:32the husband, the other foster, well, the other kids or whatnot. The person who molested me,

06:38he cried, swore up and down, like threw a fist, swore up and down. I was lying. He swore on

06:42his life.

06:43They never did it to me, never touched me. I'm lying and all this and that. I would say not

06:47even

06:48two weeks later, um, you know, I thought it was, you know, thought he would be done, thought, you

06:53know, he wouldn't do it anymore. And he proceeded to do it again, you know, on and off. And so

06:59I don't

07:00know the time, but because I went and I did the right thing, you know, growing up and looking back

07:06on that, pretty much I was told I was lying. And, um, the foster mom, you know, ended up getting

07:12us

07:13moved, removed from her house and we had to go to another home. Yeah, I, um, was maybe third, fourth

07:19grade or whatnot. And pretty much we were there for a long time. Um, my sister and myself, the person

07:25who adopted me, um, she introduced me, you know, with the church alive. She's very, you know, religious

07:30or whatnot. She introduced me to God and to church, which I love. And I thank her. Definitely. I thank

07:36her a lot about so much. At the end of the day, I feel like people have their opinion already,

07:41you

07:42know, what they have made up in their head about my situation or whatnot. Um, it sucks, you know,

07:48sometimes, but at the end of the day, I feel like I have, you know, as far as like verbally

07:52or whatnot,

07:53or just having something to prove because I used to go by, you know, I have to prove this person

07:57wrong.

07:58I have to get my, my side out, my story, you know, matters, you know, going so long and,

08:03you know, being, you know, trying to do right and, you know, trying to really, you know, open

08:09up to people and tell them your side or to prove, you know, a situation wrong and really it gets

08:13nowhere. You know, I gave up and I just, you know, let God do the healing for me, the, you

08:21know, speaking for me. I let him lead and guide me. And as I said, you know, with this book,

08:25you know, regardless of people who say what they think about my situation years ago, what happened

08:30to me and even, you know, now or whatnot, um, I'm just like, you know what, I'm not going to

08:35stress

08:36myself out. I wish just, I had a mentor, just have someone, you know, to let me know I wasn't

08:42alone,

08:43that it's okay to come forward, to talk about it, get your truth out. I just wish I had just

08:50a person

08:50like myself because as I stated, I went through a lot of things by myself and I didn't have anyone

08:56and, you know, it definitely, I am proud to say it molded and shake me to who I am today.

09:02And,

09:02you know, it's sad that I had to go through that and just so much, but I have my son.

09:07He's very proud

09:08of me and he looks up to me and I'm definitely a great person, you know, a great mother. And

09:15I'm

09:15proud of myself because, you know, a lot of people who are raped, molested or whatnot, they turn to,

09:21they turn to, and they, you know, it all goes down here or turn to alcohol or, and me, I

09:29can

09:29literally stand, stand here right now. And today, that's one thing I'm proud about myself is I didn't

09:35have to turn to none of that. I didn't have to, you know, have that stuff happen to me. So

09:39I

09:39definitely thank God that, you know, he kept me and, you know, had another way out. And that's why

09:46I'm here today to help others and be an impact on others because it's not going to be easy,

09:51not by far, but just know that is help out here is resources. And then only that is people, you

09:59know,

09:59you can talk to and reach out to, and I can be one. One thing I would say is, which

10:06I'm really,

10:06really proud of myself. Though my mom got pregnant with me at a young age, I always said,

10:12you know, that I wanted to overcome that. Like, I wasn't going to, because it wasn't going to,

10:16you know, that wasn't going to happen to me and I wanted to beat, you know, the odds or whatnot.

10:20But

10:20growing up also, like, I used to get told that, you know, I was going to get pregnant fast,

10:25you know, just people just doubted me so much. And just a lot of, you know, negative things were

10:30said to me, you know, to me. And I'm just very proud of the things that I accomplished in my

10:35life

10:35than my family did. And as far as graduating from high school, going to college, writing a book,

10:42I didn't get pregnant with my son until maybe age 28. So I definitely beat the odds and just,

10:49he motivates me just every day, all day. And he just definitely is the reason why I am living,

10:57the reason why I'm striving for more. And just, you know, he's my big reason and my why.

11:03Because of my experience, I definitely, you know, always said when I have children or a child that,

11:10for one, I would be the opposite of what my mom was to me. I was going to love them

11:15more. I was

11:16going to, you know, pretty much get every, treat my child and give them everything that I didn't

11:20or wasn't able to get from my mom or, you know, my family or anything. So my son, I definitely,

11:26you know, I'm overprotective about him. I'd rather be overprotective than not protective.

11:32You know, I have discussed with him, you know, as far as, you know, if he's in anyone's care,

11:37you know, you make sure nobody touches you, you know. I had that talk with him about inappropriate

11:42touching or inappropriate talking. So yeah, I'm definitely, you know, I talk to him. I, you know,

11:49I make sure that he's good and I'm going to keep it that way. Definitely. I just want people to

11:56know

11:57that they are not alone and just life is very short. Life is very, very short. And, um, you know,

12:05us women are, you know, have come forward and are speaking, just please, it's important to come

12:11forward and just to get, just get help, just get help, you know, cause either, you know, now or

12:17somewhere down the line, it's going to, you know, it can bother your mentee and, you know,

12:21you don't want it to do that. Like mentally, you know, you need to be healthy for yourself.

12:25And if you have children and just period, you know, it's just really important. And at the end

12:31of the day, you can be saving somebody else's life as well. Um, when it comes to, you know,

12:36someone that's, you know, who does inappropriate things because, you know, if you let it go on,

12:41they're just out and about. And there's no telling that, you know, who they can grab up or who they

12:46might be able to try to do it to or whatnot. Oh, you know what I did leave out. So

12:51to piggyback off

12:52me being raped by my stepfather, it actually, um, has impacted my life. I mean, um, in every way

13:01possible, but coming up, I was, and still to this day, I am uncomfortable around men, older men or

13:09whatnot. Like, you know, if I do date or if I, you know, have a boyfriend or whatnot, like he's

13:15normally

13:15like around no more than a year or two older than me or whatnot, but I can't go any higher.

13:20Um, so

13:21most of my life I've spent because of what was done to me, it makes me uncomfortable to be around

13:26any type of guy, whether it's my school teacher, another relative, just anybody older, it just makes

13:34me so uncomfortable. It frightens me because just, you know, what happened to me, whatnot. I hate the

13:40feeling that, you know, I get nervous, I'm uncomfortable and just the thoughts, you know,

13:46that I have some time. So by him doing that to me has no impact on my dating life as

13:52well, or

13:53someone that I might be interested in. He's older, but it's like, uh, I don't want to because he's too

13:58much older and just, and I'm afraid. I would say dating wise, um, talking about it has helped or not.

14:05Um, I mean, I still feel aware and I feel like that's just gonna be me or whatnot, like just

14:11uncomfortableness or whatnot. Um, maybe, you know, in the future it'll go away or, you know, I'm just

14:16taking it day by day. I know it sounds cliche, but I would say praying a lot of prayer. Like

14:22I am

14:23literally living proof that God exists, um, for me to bend through hell and back. And I'm still here to

14:31this day insane and to encourage you that you can make it or whatnot. And it's not going to be

14:36just

14:36a cakewalk or anything. No, but if you keep just persevering, you know, just keep, you know,

14:42encouraging yourself. And I didn't have any support or no one really to turn to, um, you know, I did

14:48a

14:49lot of praying, a lot of soul searching. And, um, I would say my counselor as well. Um, I've been

14:56through counseling throughout the years, but nothing. Um, and it wasn't really, um, to, um,

15:03you know, about me being raped or whatnot. Um, actually it was to try to get help about my auntie

15:08situation. Um, but actually, um, it helped a lot by going back to my childhood a little bit, but I

15:15had

15:16so many traumas where to ask. It was like, where do I begin? Where do I even start? So, but,

15:22um,

15:22I would say seek definitely, you know, take this in a negative way, but seek help. Like

15:27it's nothing wrong with getting help. It's nothing wrong with seeing a counselor or therapist. Like

15:32it actually helps and, um, helps your life come together more than what, you know. Um, a lot of

15:39things we bottle up, we are ashamed of, or we're too prideful about it. It's like, no,

15:45gone and talk to someone about that. It's so much relief. It's so much better to get someone

15:52and someone to actually not only listen, but that can give you the tools that you may need

15:57to move on with your life and to better yourself and your future. So, and it definitely helped,

16:02helped me and work for me. And I'm glad I did it. More society nowadays is like, you know,

16:07especially, you know, my upbringing, it was like, oh, well, if you go see a counselor or something's

16:12wrong with you, you're crazy. Or it was labeled. And it's like, no, there's nothing like that whatsoever.

16:19Ever. And just, you know, stereotype. And it's like, you know, it messes because a lot of people

16:23need it. And it's just like, go see about it for yourself. Stop, you know, think for yourself,

16:28get help for yourself, you know, try it out for yourself instead of being, you know, letting other

16:33people decide for you and what you need to do and miss your life. So we were taken to foster

16:40homes or

16:40whatnot. But, um, I want to say probably not until the second foster home that we ended up going to,

16:46second or third one. Um, I want to say trial for him. It took maybe about a year, year and

16:51a half

16:51or whatnot for him to go to trial. And during that trial, um, pretty much I had to, um, get

16:59on the

16:59stand. I had to, um, testify against him. And mind you, I was only first grade, first grade, second

17:07grade in between or whatnot. And, um, it traumatized me. I mean, you have all these people up there

17:14staring at you, you know, looking at you, you got him, the, you know, the person who did this to

17:19you,

17:19you know, looking at you and then, you know, um, whoever's supporting him, family or whatnot as

17:25well. So being a little kid, you know, being so young, um, it was traumatizing. Um, and it, I want

17:33to say, uh, went on maybe about a month, quarter, whatnot, if it didn't go longer, but, um, that had

17:40a huge effect on me. Um, I was terrified. I hated it. It seemed like everyone was against

17:45me. It seemed like just, it took forever for, you know, just for me to be finished asking

17:52all these questions, you know, being a young person, having to answer so many questions

17:57or whatnot, and, you know, being frustrated or confused. Um, and I will say that has actually

18:03had, um, a huge effect on my life still. Anything with the courts, I literally, um, my stomach turned

18:11into knots. Um, it's terrible. I hate it. I hate it a lot. Um, so with my aunt, um, my

18:18aunt's murder,

18:19when she went to trial, I dreaded it. I hated it. Um, some other personal things, um, that happened

18:26even, um, within the family, you know, I had a family member who, um, had to have a trial and

18:30go to

18:30court and stuff. And I wanted to be so supportive. Um, I did it, but it was just, it was,

18:37um, it was

18:37the worst for me. So, um, by me having to do that at such a young age, it literally, um,

18:44has traumatized

18:45me to this day. I don't really do well with court or anything. I was like, um, yep. I was

18:50between six

18:52and eight or whatever. So probably like seven, but yes. Um, like to this day, my hands are like,

18:58I just, I have a, um, panic attack dang near. Like I just, it's not a good feeling at all.

19:04Um, it, it actually overwhelms me a lot. My first panic attack, um, was with my real serious one,

19:11at least, um, that I knew of was with my aunt, um, when she was murdered and I found her

19:17body. So

19:17that was a, um, huge, um, panic attack. And I want to say really my first, but, um, you know,

19:24anything as far as court though, um, it literally just gives me bad anxiety. And I want to say

19:32I've never really had anxiety until like recently.

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