She Spoke Out Against Her Father And Found Justice

Unfiltered Stories

In today's episode, Dominque Ray shares her personal story with us. Growing up, Dominique witnessed recurring incidents of violence that deeply impacted her home environment. At the age of 11, Dominique experienced a profound violation of trust and safety when a close family member took advantage of her, an incident that left deep scars.   In the aftermath of this traumatic event, Dominique found the strength to come forward and share her truth, an act of bravery that led to legal consequences for the perpetrator. Her story highlights the immense courage it takes for survivors to speak out and seek accountability. By sharing her experiences, Dominique sheds light on the far-reaching impact of childhood trauma and the importance of supporting survivors in their healing journeys. Join us as we listen to Dominique's story of resilience, the pursuit of justice, and the ongoing process of healing and reclaiming one's life.   #unfilteredstories #survivorstories   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.  Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.    🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is Dominique and I'm telling my story on my childhood trauma.

00:03My parents' relationship was never really healthy.

00:08They had good moments, but it wasn't anything healthy.

00:11We saw more bad times than we saw good.

00:13My dad was several years older than my mom and he was also married.

00:18He didn't tell her that at the time though.

00:20As they started being together and as time went on is when she found out.

00:26When she tried to leave, it didn't work out.

00:28His way of keeping her was to beat her.

00:31Not just physically, but emotionally.

00:34Everything was either you're not pretty enough, oh you're black, and my mom isn't even that dark.

00:40My mom is brown-skinned.

00:41But his nickname for her was he would beat her down with words.

00:46When the words stopped working, he would start hitting her.

00:49When I was little, I remember times when he did come home because he would usually be with his family.

00:55When he did come and visit us.

00:57It was, everything was forced.

00:59Oh, go make me something to eat.

01:01And she never wanted to do anything, but she did it.

01:04And I never understood why she would keep doing stuff for him that she didn't want to do.

01:08And he never talked to her really like she was a person.

01:11He would have his moments where, for the most part, he didn't talk to her like a person.

01:14He talked to her like she was a possession.

01:16It would really be bad the times that he would come over.

01:20He's because he was on.

01:22And he did a lot.

01:24And he also drank, which intensified it.

01:27When those were the cases, it's usually when things started to escalate because my mom didn't want him around us

01:35like that.

01:35When she would make a comment about it, of course, he'll lay in on her.

01:40She didn't really let him whoop us when we did things like that or did anything.

01:44She won't let him really whoop us.

01:46Because it was like the way he treated her, like why would I let you whoop my children in?

01:51It was one time that I can't remember what I did or what my brother did, but we did something

01:58that it really upset him.

01:59He decided that he was going to whoop us.

02:02He didn't use his hand.

02:04He didn't use a belt.

02:05He used whatever was close to him.

02:07If it was a shoe, he would use a shoe or an extension cord.

02:10And it was only a few hits, but he's a man.

02:13So it, it hurt bad.

02:15So they got into a fight about that.

02:17I'm not going to say that he was always a monster because, you know, he had his moments.

02:22For the most part, we would hear more than we seen.

02:26We would usually see after effects a lot, but I was still a daddy's girl.

02:30Like, that's, that's still my father.

02:32You know, I love my dad.

02:33When he was gone, things would be great.

02:36We're happy.

02:37My mom spoiled us to death.

02:39She was awesome.

02:40We would do everything.

02:41When he was there, she was always sad and down and she wasn't herself.

02:48And my mom isn't a drinker, but when he was around, like, that's how she can deal with

02:52him.

02:53I just heard my mom screaming and I'm yelling and I'm arguing.

02:57And so we come down the stairs.

02:59I try to go and find her and the screaming just got so bad that I just paused because

03:06my little brother came running down at that time.

03:08And so I'm holding him and we're on the stairs and we're just listening.

03:11Priya's listening to the yelling and we're listening to the screaming.

03:14And then she goes quiet.

03:16It's a while before he actually, he comes out and he sees us on the stairs and he's like,

03:21well, I'm going to leave for a little bit.

03:23I love y'all.

03:24And he just left.

03:26So I went to find my mom because I'm calling her.

03:29She's not saying anything.

03:30I just see blood all on the wall, all the way to the bathroom.

03:34I get to the bathroom.

03:35She's in the bathtub.

03:37It's blood and she's not moving.

03:39He took a bottle and hit her across the jaw with it so hard.

03:43It not only shattered her jaw, but it knocked her teeth out.

03:47So she was unconscious.

03:49I don't know where I went in my head after that, but everything is just black.

03:54She went to the hospital.

03:56She got her mom fixed.

03:57Of course, her mom was wired shut for a while.

04:00And I never understood, why do you keep taking this?

04:03I don't understand.

04:04Like, yeah, we love dad and, you know, we like when he's around sometimes.

04:08We don't always like when he's around.

04:11Like, he hurts you.

04:12Like, why did he make, why did he do that?

04:14Like, if he loved you, like, why?

04:16Like, we never understood why.

04:18It was about trying to keep her around.

04:20It was a couple of times that my mom left.

04:24She didn't try to leave.

04:25Like, she left.

04:27But everywhere we went, he would find us.

04:30We'd been to shelters.

04:31We tried family.

04:33He finds us.

04:34This went on for up until I was 11.

04:37He would come in town sometimes.

04:39He'd come and he's not.

04:42Other times, he's not.

04:43I mean, he is.

04:44We usually know the times when he has a tail.

04:48So, we always know.

04:51And then, my mom is like, I don't, I don't want you around my kids like this.

04:55What are my kids too?

04:56But you're not acting like their father.

04:57I don't want you around them like this.

04:59So, she didn't want us around him while he was like that.

05:02And when he was like that, and sometimes when he wasn't, he wouldn't interact with me.

05:07I'm a very, I was very shy.

05:09So, I liked, you know, and then I'm about to be, I'm like, I'm a priesting.

05:13So, I like my door closed, I like my peace and quiet, you know, little brother annoying

05:17me.

05:17So, you know, I like my, to be in my room.

05:21So, when he would come and he would, you know, knock on my door or whatever, his nickname

05:25for me was Applehead.

05:27So, you know, he told me how much he loved me, what he about to do, the gifts he gonna

05:31buy me, how he gonna come get us, yada, yada, yada, his usual song and dance.

05:36And when he says bye, you know, I give him, you know, a hug, and I go to kiss him

05:41on the

05:42cheek.

05:43He was still trying to kiss me on my mouth, and I'm like 10 years old at this time.

05:48And I'm like, ew, and I'm like, daddy, no, I'll kiss you on the cheek.

05:51And I thought that was weird, but I brushed it off.

05:54It would be times that I'm not in my clothes fully, I just have my night going on, and

05:59I'm trying to yell and tell him, like, hold on, don't come in, and he's already coming

06:03in.

06:03So I have to, like, scramble to try to find something to cover up.

06:06And it wasn't anything that I really paid attention to at the moment, like, it was always

06:12something in the back of my head, like, okay, well, this is weird, like, why is he doing

06:16that?

06:16I didn't notice that I was acting different towards him.

06:20I didn't notice, because of what I would feel in those moments, the way that I would

06:25act towards him.

06:26But he did, and he made a comment to my mom, and he's like, I don't know what's wrong

06:30with Applehead.

06:31She acts like she doesn't like me.

06:32She don't want me around it.

06:34For one, why would I want you around?

06:36All you do is hurt my mom.

06:38Why would I want to be around that?

06:40Yes, I love you.

06:41Yes, I would love for you to be the father that I want you to be, but you're not that.

06:46It got to a point to where my mom was just completely done.

06:51She just, she couldn't do it anymore.

06:53It was about nine o'clock at night.

06:55He came over.

06:56He had been drinking.

06:58I'm in my room.

06:59They're in the living room, and they're arguing, and we're hearing them arguing.

07:02The argument stops.

07:04My mom goes to the bathroom, and he comes in my room, and he's like, you want to go

07:08riding with me?

07:09I'm going to let you drive.

07:11Something I've been asking him about forever.

07:13I'm excited.

07:14Yeah, let's go driving.

07:15I didn't know my mother told him no.

07:17I didn't know he asked her, and she told him no, that I can't go anywhere.

07:22That he's not taking me with her because he's...

07:24I put my stuff on.

07:26He was like, well, hurry up so we can go.

07:27So I hurry up.

07:28I rush.

07:29I'm putting my stuff on, and we leave out the house.

07:31So my mother comes out the bathroom.

07:33We're already gone.

07:34We leave out the house.

07:34We get in the car, and we're riding around.

07:37I'm in the passenger seat.

07:38He's not letting me drive.

07:39And so I'm like, okay, well, when we go drive, he was like, well, give me a minute.

07:43We're going to...

07:43I got to make a couple of stops for work, and then, you know, we'll go driving.

07:47Nine o'clock at night.

07:48What work are you doing?

07:50Because he did construction.

07:51What work are you doing at nine o'clock at night?

07:53But I'm like, okay, sure.

07:54So we're riding around.

07:56We keep making stops.

07:57Every stop we make to see another man that he, quote, unquote, worked with.

08:03And he's standing outside, and he's talking with them, and he's drinking with them.

08:07And at this time, that's when the big 40 ounces were out.

08:10So he had one of those, and he's just steady drinking and talking.

08:14It's 10 o'clock at night.

08:15All right, Dad, I have school in the morning.

08:17Like, when are you going to let me drive?

08:19Like, I'm getting tired.

08:20He was like, in a minute.

08:21Again, we're just steady stopping.

08:22We're steady stopping.

08:23We get to this house.

08:25So he did the remodeling for the houses.

08:28Well, this is the house that I'm going to give your mom, you and your brother.

08:33And he was like, well, take a look around.

08:35And it was this weird feeling.

08:36In my stomach as I walked in.

08:38And I don't really know how to explain it other than it didn't feel right.

08:44Like, I felt like something was wrong.

08:46And so I'm looking around, and I'm like, okay, well, you know, this is nice.

08:51And it's a red wall.

08:53A red wall, and then it's a fireplace under the wall.

08:55And it's a radio on top of the fireplace.

08:58He goes, and he turns the radio on.

09:00And that feeling that was in my stomach is getting bigger.

09:03And I'm like, okay, well, you know, this is weird.

09:07So he was like, well, you know, take a look around and go, you know, look upstairs at where

09:11y'all rooms would be and things like that.

09:12And so I go, and I'm walking to the steps.

09:15He's locking the doors.

09:16So I walk up the stairs, and I'm like, okay, this is nice.

09:19I can't really see a lot because, you know, it's dark.

09:22Okay, well, it's nice.

09:23Okay, I'm ready to go.

09:25He was like, well, you didn't go, and you didn't look at the attic.

09:29So I'm like, oh, okay.

09:30I go to open the door to the attic.

09:32And I opened, and I'm like, it's dark.

09:34I can't see up there.

09:36And as I go to turn back around and face him to leave, he kisses me.

09:41And I'm like, oh, I'm like, what are you doing?

09:43And he tries to do it again.

09:44And when I pushed him this time, I didn't just run down.

09:48I was leaping, like literally leaping down the stairs, running into the wall, leaping down

09:53the stairs.

09:54And as I get to the door, I run up against the door, and I'm unlocking the locks.

09:58As soon as I get to the last lock, he's already there.

10:01And he pushes the door back closed, and he throws me back up the stairs.

10:05He pushes me down.

10:07We didn't make it all the way up the stairs just yet, but he pushes me down, and he's

10:12pulling my pants.

10:13Instead, he's pushing me up the stairs.

10:16He pushes me down onto the floor, and I'm like, what are you doing?

10:20Like, why are you doing this to me?

10:21It went from being my father and my father voice to something completely different.

10:27The tone of his voice changed, the look in his eyes changed, everything.

10:31And he's just like, shut up.

10:33You scream.

10:34You try to run again.

10:35Brother, I'm your brother, and I'm you.

10:39I'm not your father.

10:40So at this point, I'm so scared.

10:42I don't know what to do other than go along with whatever he say.

10:47Whatever he said is what I did.

10:49I played into it because at that point, I'm going to make it home to my mom.

10:55You're not killing my mom.

10:56You're not killing my brother.

10:56You're not killing me.

10:57I'm making it home.

10:58So whatever I got to do to survive right now is what I have to do.

11:01Whatever he wanted to hear is what I said.

11:04He performed on me.

11:07He had me have with him.

11:09It was just, I don't, I felt like I had to become someone else just to, I couldn't wrap

11:17my head around what was going on.

11:18I'm like, this cannot be my life.

11:20This can't be my life.

11:22Like, this can't be what's happening.

11:23Anytime I got quiet or I tried to stop, it was another threat.

11:28And it was the tone in his voice that made me believe everything that he said.

11:35That he believed everything he said.

11:37When he was done, it was like a switch.

11:40And I'm sitting there, and I'm trying to wrap my head around this deal, and I'm trying

11:45to pull my clothes, put my clothes on in.

11:47He just started talking to me like nothing happened.

11:50Everything is normal.

11:51Come on, let's go.

11:52We about to get ready to go home.

11:53Take you home because I know you have school tomorrow.

11:55I'm like, okay.

11:56And we're walking down the stairs, and I'm still, am I really about to go home?

12:00Is he really about to take me home?

12:02I'm stuck.

12:03He's like, come on.

12:04So we get down the stairs, and he's unlocking the door.

12:07I'm like, okay, well, maybe we really are leaving then.

12:10And when he opens the door, it was like a relief, but I feel like I still needed to

12:15be in a character until I actually seen my mother.

12:20So we're in the car.

12:21He was like, oh, I forgot.

12:23You said you wanted to drive.

12:24No, I'm okay.

12:25I just want to go home.

12:26So we're driving, and he's talking to me like absolutely nothing just happened.

12:31Just regular conversation.

12:32At this point, I can't tell you what he was saying.

12:34I sat there, and I looked out the window the entire time.

12:37So we get to my house.

12:39My mom comes flying down the stairs, frantic.

12:42I didn't say anything.

12:44I just walked upstairs in the house.

12:46She came running down the stairs, and they're arguing, and she's cussing, and she's fussing

12:52at him.

12:52I told you, don't take my daughter, and she's just fussing.

12:55And at this point, I made it to the window, and I'm just looking out the window, and I

13:00just started to cry.

13:01She argued with him for a few minutes, and he's just sitting there.

13:04He's just looking at her.

13:05And I hear the police sirens.

13:07As the police turn around the corner, and he see that they're getting close, he look

13:11up at me.

13:12I will never forget the look in his eye.

13:14He look up at me, and he smile, and he say, watch this.

13:18And he takes off down the street, and the police takes off down the street after him.

13:22Already crying, and my mother's still frantic, and she's yelling, and she's yelling, and she's

13:26yelling.

13:27And she's like, where did he take you?

13:28Where did he take you?

13:29Did he take you to one of his houses?

13:31Did he take you to one of his?

13:32Like, where did he take you?

13:33And she's yelling, and she's yelling, and she's yelling, and I just, I couldn't hold

13:39myself together anymore.

13:40I just broke down, and started crying even harder, and I told her, I'm like, he f***ed

13:46me.

13:46And she's like, what?

13:47I'm like, he f***ed me.

13:49And it just got worse after that.

13:51My little brother went running out the house in just his underwear.

13:55So my mom is trying to chase him down the street and bring him back home, and it was

14:01just, it's like blank spots after that.

14:03I know EMS made it there by this time.

14:07My whole street, and then some outside, trying to figure out what's going on.

14:11Most of my neighborhood knew me because they knew my little cousins, my big cousins, and

14:16I was their little cousin.

14:17They knew, you know, we look out for Dominique.

14:19And so everybody, when they seen that it was me, it just became even more a commotion.

14:24Police caught up with him.

14:25My father was a somewhat connected man, which is how he would find us anytime we left.

14:32He knew cops.

14:33He knew the mayor.

14:34He was friends with the mayor.

14:35The police caught him at the mayor's house.

14:37They brought him back.

14:38My mom told the cops what happened.

14:41And as my mom is telling the cops because she's so upset and yelling, everybody heard

14:47her when she said it.

14:48The minute the neighborhood heard that, everyone went to the car, and they're pulling on the

14:53car.

14:53They're pulling on the doors.

14:54They're trying to rip the doors off of the police car, telling them to let him out.

14:58Y'all not taking him to jail.

14:59Let him out.

15:00Let him out.

15:00He's not going to jail.

15:01Let him out.

15:02Police won't let him out.

15:03The police didn't even want to take him to jail, but, you know, they got to do their

15:06job.

15:07And I just remember sitting in the back of the truck, and everyone's trying to ask me,

15:11are you okay?

15:12Are you okay?

15:12And I'm just sitting there.

15:13I don't remember the drive to the hospital.

15:15I just remember the lights on the ceiling as they were rolling me in.

15:48The pain, the exam.

15:49I went to school for a while, and even when I did go to school, they would find me under

15:54the stairs at school crying so much that the counselors would have to call my mom to come

15:59pick me up from school.

16:00I couldn't handle being around other people.

16:02Why do you want me to keep reliving it?

16:04For what?

16:05How is this going to help me?

16:07I want to forget it, and I can't forget it, and you guys are not letting me forget it.

16:11I just want to forget.

16:13I would lock myself in my room all day long, and that's just where I stayed.

16:18They did arrest him.

16:20He did not get away, even though he thought his connections would let him get freedom.

16:24They did arrest him.

16:25He was sentenced to, he did, I think it was 18, it was 18 to 25, and it was 15

16:34to 25.

16:3518 to 25 for the, 15 to 25 for the kidnap, because he was charged with kidnapping and because

16:41he didn't have her permission.

16:42I wasn't allowed to go to court.

16:45My mom did all of that for me.

16:47She wouldn't let me go.

16:48He did serve all of his time.

16:51Every time he went up for parole, he was denied.

16:53I'm just now starting to get to a point to where I'm rediscovering myself, focusing on

17:01the things that I want to do and the things that I want to accomplish.

17:04It did make me want to create a non-profit to help women of domestic violence and survivors

17:12of sexual assault.

17:14So that's something that I've currently been working on, as well as my podcast.

17:19My podcast has helped me a lot with just getting back to me and finding me and being a therapy

17:27that I really need, because talking about it does help.

17:31Talking about it not only helps me, but it does help someone else.

17:35Someone else can have hope.

17:37I never understood until recently why someone would want to keep living through that until

17:45I really spoke to my mom.

17:47My mom stayed for us.

17:48It wasn't because she loved him.

17:50It wasn't because she was scared to leave.

17:51It was because of us.

17:53We all have our reasons for why we do it.

17:56At some point, you got to find your strength.

17:59You're ready when you're ready.

18:00Just because we want you to be ready and we think that you should leave, it's not your

18:05time.

18:05You have to find your strength in your situation.

18:08Every tragedy has the ability to release something in us that we didn't even know that we had in

18:15us.

18:15And that's what that did for me.

18:17It's a lot of relationships that I've tried to repair and I'm working on repairing, but

18:22they're not there.

18:22And there's some that are completely severed and not completely fine with that.

18:26I'm focusing on growing those things that I'm trying to do the podcast and the therapies

18:31and trying to help other people get to a point to where learning how to love themselves.

18:37Because at the end of the day, that's what we have to do.

18:40We have to love ourselves to be able to heal properly, to be able to get to where we're

18:45trying to go and that's something that I've learned is to just love me and I want to help

18:48other women get there and find that self-love.

18:51Let's take the journey together.

18:53So now I am 41 years old.

18:56Me and my mom are extremely close.

18:59She's always been my rock.

19:02I am currently working on my podcast.

19:04That's my therapy.

19:06It helped me get to where I'm trying to be.

19:08I'm also working on my nonprofit to help victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, men

19:16and women, I want to be able to help us all get to a point to where we find our

19:21self-love

19:21and our healing because I think we all deserve that.

19:24We all need to know that we're special and that we're beautiful and what happens to us

19:29does not define us.

19:31We define us.

19:32We have our power.

19:34And if you keep living in your situation, that's you giving your power away.

19:37I want to help us take our power back because it's ours and nobody deserves to have it but

19:42us.

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