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00:20from the sublime to the ridiculous after showing you the general exits of those
00:25witty urban panel shows from the 50s and 60s here is a bit of the garish 70s coming to a
00:32close yes
00:33it's the final and i'm going to choke on the words gong show you've got such luminaries as maxine
00:39andrews jamie farr and carl valentine on the panel carl valentine of course there's gene gene the
00:45dancing machine the inimitable chuck barrett and some of the worst acts that have ever been thrown
00:50out of the catskill hotel it's july 21st 1978 the day the network put the gong show thank god to
01:00rest
01:23thank you all ladies and gentlemen thank you ladies and gentlemen ladies and gentlemen this
01:34is our last show this is our last show so we we want to do a fable for you for
01:40all you people
01:41so if you'll just get yourself cozy in your little beds and scrunch up to your partner or whatever
01:46else you scrunch up to your little bunny or something we want to tell you about the land
01:50of ferb and a guy named fenwick goddard so here we go with a nice little baby
02:00once upon a time in a land called ferb there lived an adventurous and brash youth named fenwick goddara
02:10now because of his brashness and because of his youthdom he was generally hit upon by the local
02:26police
02:27all right now they're also lived they're also lived in a land of ferb a herniated and halitocular
02:44villain named larry spencer
02:54maestro
02:55i left my heart
03:02in san francisco
03:06wait a minute wait a minute stop stop what's going on what are you doing the uh san francisco fly
03:11who asked you to do the fly get off the stage this is a
03:20the land of ferb was ruled by a quasi-generous king named esther
03:32king esther
03:33now king esther was extremely bored with ruling ferb so he said i will make a print out of any
03:39man in the
03:39kingdom who can think of a television program to entertain me and my so the insistent boredom that
03:45seems to run rampant in this degenerate kingdom can be drunk
03:51he said i have an idea
03:56the king said what kind of an idea
04:00and fenwick said a talent show with one great act after another to entertain you and your subjects
04:06and the king said
04:09great
04:10and he gave fenwick gotterer some money to hold auditions and fenwick did just that
04:17and he said
04:34bravo
04:35bravo
04:35bravo
04:41bravo
04:44bravo
04:46bravo
04:46bravo
04:48bravo
04:50bravo
04:51bravo
04:52bravo
04:54bravo
05:00bravo
05:02bravo
05:03bravo
05:05bravo
05:11Well, and then one day, Fenwick went to the King Esther and he said,
05:16King, there aren't any more good acts.
05:19Now, the king was angry.
05:21He called Fenwick horrible names and told the police to beat up Fenwick and to throw him in a clink.
05:34They did.
05:37Months later, months, months, wait a minute, which they did.
05:41Ah, time passes.
05:58Months later, Fenwick returned and he said that he even had a better idea than before
06:07that instead of using good acts, Fenwick would use bad acts and on his variety show
06:12and certainly they would never run out of bad acts and the king could be entertained forever and ever.
06:18And the king said,
06:20Heavy.
06:21And he gave Fenwick the money to do the show.
06:25And there they go.
06:28And so in the land of firm, there was a television program created and starring Fenwick Goddard.
06:36And we'll show you how that program goes right after this message.
06:41Take me out.
06:47This is Unisom Sleep Gels.
06:49It helps you sleep.
06:50This is Tylenol PM.
06:52It helps you sleep too.
06:54They both have the exact same amount of the exact same sleep ingredient.
06:58But Tylenol PM has added medicine for headaches, backaches, even fever.
07:04Do you have a headache?
07:05Uh-uh.
07:06Backache?
07:06Uh-uh.
07:07Fever?
07:07Uh-uh.
07:08Then why take medicine for it?
07:10Take Unisom.
07:11It's a safe, non-habit-forming way to fall fast asleep.
07:17When I'm away, my mother's in charge.
07:19Woo!
07:20Look at Grandma!
07:21I know my kids will eat their vegetables.
07:23Who wants more chocolate?
07:25After dinner, she'll make them rinse the really dirty dishes.
07:27Come on.
07:28Bingo!
07:28They'll put everything in the right place.
07:30Because Mom loves everything.
07:32Woo!
07:32Shiny.
07:34Cascade Pure Rinse Formula helps prevent residues from settling on dishes.
07:37So they get so clean, virtually nothing is left but shine.
07:40Like mother, like daughter.
07:41Grandma, let's go!
07:44Cascade Pure Rinse Formula.
07:48Ten minutes for bed.
07:50Better be clean up there.
07:59Bounty's strong enough to go places and get up stuff you wouldn't think a paper towel could.
08:04But then, it's not your ordinary paper towel.
08:08It's quiet.
08:10Too quiet.
08:12The quilted top picker-upper bounty.
08:18Hi, Jim Palmer for The Money Store.
08:20Do you have too many credit cards?
08:21Do you just pay the minimum?
08:23And even then, are those payments late sometimes?
08:26Do you pay as much as 18% interest?
08:28Would you like all this pain to go away?
08:30If you're a homeowner, call The Money Store.
08:33They have a home equity loan that gets rid of all your credit card bills and can save you hundreds
08:37of dollars a month.
08:38The Back on Track plan.
08:39So call today and put all those credit card problems behind you.
08:43The Money Store.
08:441-800-LOAN-YES.
08:54From the land of Ferb, almost live, it's the Gong Show!
09:20And now, ladies and gentlemen, the host and star of the show,
09:26my daddy, Fenwick Cotterer!
09:41Oh, thank you.
09:46Welcome to your own gong show.
09:48Now let's meet our little celebrities.
09:50And now a gentleman who lives by the immortal words of Lady Godiva, who said,
09:55sure glad I didn't get that perm.
09:57She said a standing Carl Ballantyne.
10:04Our next guest is truly a singing sensation, a delightful lady, and the author of the book,
10:09Lincoln, The Man, The Car, and The Tunnel.
10:12Here's the wonderful Patty Andrews.
10:18Next, the man obeys his life on one of moral free.
10:24Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
10:26Ladies and gentlemen, Jamie Farr.
10:28Ah, thank you, Fenwick Cotterer.
10:30Thank you, Fenwick Cotterer.
10:33We've all heard the expression, she's got an hourglass figure.
10:36Well, here's a guy who I think has been sucking the sand.
10:40Ladies and gentlemen, Ira Flitter.
10:43Let's do it, Ira.
10:53There'll be no strings to bind your hands
10:57Night of my love
10:59Can't bind your heart
11:05And there's no need to take a stand
11:09For it was I who chose to start
11:15I see no reason to take me home
11:21I'm old enough to face the dawn
11:26Just call me angel of the morning angel
11:32Just crunch my cheeks before
11:40I don't know why they gonged you, Ira.
11:42I really like that.
11:44You were gang-gonged.
11:46Why did you do that?
11:48Why did I say they should have nailed the coffin?
11:50Oh, thank you, Ira.
11:59More stuff right after this message.
12:11I believe the new year is a time of hope.
12:13I believe there's hope.
12:15Especially at this time of year.
12:16I believe there's guidance in my life.
12:18Because I believe in God.
12:20And in his son, too.
12:22Because I read this book.
12:23This book is the Holy Bible.
12:25You can now have a free copy of the King James Version of the Bible when you call this number.
12:30You'll discover how the Savior's teachings in this book can bring more fulfillment and happiness to your life throughout the
12:36entire year.
12:37Just call this number for your free copy.
12:39I believe I can be forgiven.
12:41We should be more forgiving.
12:43I believe in being kind.
12:44I believe there is hope.
12:46This year, feel the hope this sacred book is bringing others.
12:50Just call this number for your free copy of the Bible.
12:53It's a gift from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
12:56I believe people can change.
12:59I believe I can change.
13:01I believe my peace comes from Jesus Christ.
13:03And because he lives.
13:05There is hope.
13:06And I hope you will believe, too.
13:08Call now for your free copy of the Holy Bible.
13:11All of that TV that you watched as a kid is about to pay off.
13:17Are you ready?
13:22There is no shame in knowing this stuff.
13:26Blockbusters.
13:27Weekdays at 10 a.m. Eastern, 7 Pacific, only on Game Show Network.
13:31What you eating, little brother?
13:33Chicken and stars.
13:34There's a better-tasting soup.
13:35Progresso chicken noodle.
13:37All white meat chicken.
13:38Bigger veggies.
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13:40Good stuff.
13:41Told ya.
13:42Nice shirt.
13:43Discover the better taste of Progresso.
13:47What should you do if you're having a heart attack?
13:49First, call an ambulance.
13:51Then take Bear Aspirin.
13:52Now, Bear may help stop you from dying when taken during a heart attack.
13:56Talk to your doctor now.
13:58Bear.
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14:00And so much more.
14:01All new, 3's a crowd asks the meaningful questions.
14:05If you got really drunk, what might you do that you'd never do sober?
14:11Participate in the threesome.
14:16Find out who knows you best.
14:17Weeknights, 9.30 Eastern, 6.30 Pacific, only on Game Show Network.
14:36Weeknights, 9.30 Eastern, 6.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7
14:37.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern,
14:377.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 7.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30
14:37Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8
14:41.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern,
14:418.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30
14:45Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.30 Eastern, 8.
14:49You better not standin' away when I go walkin' through that door
14:54You better take this job and shove it, honey
14:57I ain't workin' here no more
15:00I've been workin' in this factory for now and now on
15:04Two big years
15:06And all the time I watch my woman
15:08She's drownin' in a pool of tears
15:11I seen a lot of good folks die
15:13Had a lot of bills to pay
15:15Well, I'd give sir right off my back
15:18If I had the guts to say
15:21Take this job and shove it
15:23I ain't workin' here no more
15:27My woman left, she took all the reasons that I've been workin' for
15:32You better not standin' away when I go walkin' through that door
15:36You better take this job and shove it
15:39You are, you are gone
15:41Jamie Farr, why did you do that?
15:43That little fella's been saying I've been long a nose
15:46I'm also long a gong, fella
15:49Makes sense, makes sense
15:50Thanks for bein' on the show
15:52I hope you're swell
16:00Um, right now it's the parents of the next girl
16:03Up off, forget it
16:05Um, who is this act?
16:08Get to it
16:09Welcome Evelyn Tanner
16:20Where'd she go?
16:22Where'd she go?
16:24Get out of there
16:28Do it again
16:28Do it again
16:40Look, I love it on your face
16:46I look
16:48I look
16:48I can't be ready
16:56I look
16:59I look
17:02I can't be ready
17:10I look
17:12I look
17:12I look
17:14Oh, how is he?
17:16Oh, how is he?
17:17Oh, how is he?
17:19Oh, how is he?
17:20Oh, how is he?
17:22Oh, how is he?
17:23Oh, how is he?
17:25Oh, how is he?
17:27Oh, how is he?
17:29Oh, how is he?
17:32Carl, why did you do that?
17:34I hate it, I do it for the look of lovers turning my stomach.
17:36Oh, I like you around, gentlemen.
17:38Then again, I like hemorrhoids.
17:41We'll be right back with more stuff right after this message.
17:56K.J. McAllister mailed in her entry.
17:59Beverly Cook mailed in her entry.
18:02But this Super Bowl Sunday, you could win $21 million
18:05without mailing in an entry.
18:08Publishers Clearinghouse introduces pch.com.
18:11Just go online, enter, and you could win $21 million.
18:15Of course, if you want to mail it in, that'll work, too.
18:18So watch or mail, or go to pch.com.
18:21And on Super Bowl Sunday, the $21 million winner could be you.
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18:48If you can stay here, why stay anywhere else?
18:51Kissimmee St. Cloud. Location is our biggest attraction.
18:56I feel anxious. I can't concentrate. I'm so irritable.
19:01If you suffer from excessive worry, it can feel like a mountain of anxiety.
19:05I'll never get it all done. I'm overwhelmed.
19:08But a prescription medication called Buspar can help.
19:11If overwhelming unfounded worry and several of these symptoms last for six months or more,
19:16it may mean you have generalized anxiety disorder.
19:19Ask your doctor if Buspar is right for you as part of an overall treatment program.
19:24Buspar can help you manage those feelings.
19:26And Buspar isn't habit-forming and isn't likely to make you groggy.
19:30Buspar isn't right for everyone.
19:32Advise your doctor of any medications you may be taking, particularly MAOIs,
19:36to avoid potential drug interactions.
19:38Some people experience side effects such as excitement, headache, nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness, and nervousness.
19:44Talk to your doctor about Buspar today or call 1-877-5-BUSPAR.
19:50Worries don't have to overwhelm your life.
19:52Relax. Buspar can help you handle it.
20:06Welcome back to the Old Gone Show.
20:08This next group is a course between punk rock and contaminated.
20:13Here's the lobster repair.
20:15Let's do it.
20:17Highest good music,
20:19Hello!
20:21Hello!
20:21Hello!
20:22Welcome back!
20:23Hello!
20:23What are you talking about?
20:32Here is your family!
20:35Oh!
20:39Hi!
20:40Hi!
20:41One foot, eight foot, bancha.
20:43Daylight come and we wanna go.
20:46I need the big, dead, smelly bitch for lunch.
20:50Daylight come and we wanna go.
20:54Day-oh!
20:56Day-oh!
20:58Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:01Okay!
21:04Got it!
21:21Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:25Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:26Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:27Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:28Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:28Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:28Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:29Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:31Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:35Daylight come and we wanna go.
21:46All right, the lobster is here.
21:50Paul Ballantyne, what do you give these lobsters?
21:52One for each.
21:53A six.
21:53A six.
21:54Wow.
21:55Good start, good start.
21:56Howdy, Andrews.
21:57I love Calypso.
21:59I gave him a nine.
22:00A nine.
22:00A nine.
22:01Getting better.
22:02Jamie Foss?
22:03I saw this act before.
22:04Of course, it was after one drink.
22:05Too many.
22:06A seven.
22:06A seven.
22:07A 22 for the lobster repair.
22:09Thanks for being on the show.
22:11Thanks for coming down.
22:16Ah, good old lobster repair.
22:19This is the moment we've all been waiting for.
22:23This is it.
22:24This is it.
22:27It's not.
22:28No.
22:29We're going to do a commercial, and then we'll be right back.
22:44Burt Ludden's personal philosophy, love is like blackjack.
22:47They're both gambles, and they're both only good if they're under 21.
22:51Burt Ludden's Love Buffet, weeknights at 10 p.m. on Game Show Network.
23:00Mouth-watering aroma, irresistible taste.
23:04Orville Redenbacher's?
23:07Only one popcorn.
23:08Only Orville.
23:10If you think all drain cleaners are the same, take a look at this.
23:13The problem with liquid plumber is that it only cleans here, so clogs keep coming back.
23:18That's why we invented Drano Foamer.
23:21It expands, filling your entire pipe.
23:25And scrubs it clean, getting the gunk liquid plumber leaves behind, so drains stay clear longer.
23:33Drano Foamer.
23:34Keeps drains clear longer than liquid plumber.
23:37Essie Johnson.
23:40Here she comes.
23:42Oh, can you get the stains off those colors?
23:44Relax, I'm Clorox 2.
23:46What Clorox Bleach does on whites, Clorox 2 does on colors.
23:49Ta-da!
23:52Clorox 2.
23:53The Clorox bleach for colors.
23:55It's time.
23:56Time for your heartburn to kick in because your heartburn relief gave out.
24:00It happens two or more days a week, even though you've treated it and changed your diet.
24:04That frequent, persistent heartburn may be due to acid reflux disease.
24:08Potentially serious.
24:13It's Prilosec time.
24:14Time to see your doctor about prescription Prilosec.
24:18Your results may vary, but for many people, Prilosec provides 24 hours of complete heartburn relief with one daily dose.
24:25Ask your doctor for more information about Prilosec and if it's right for you.
24:29The most common side effects are headache, diarrhea, and abdominal pain.
24:3324 hours of complete heartburn relief is possible.
24:37It's Prilosec time.
24:40Out here, am I supposed to say, slow down, I'm constipated?
24:44I don't think so.
24:46So I rely on doctor-recommended Metamucil.
24:48Works with my body, gently.
24:50Which is important to a sensitive guy like myself.
25:00Mashed potatoes.
25:03Introducing Swanson potato-topped hot pies.
25:06So good, you'll wonder why no one thought of this before.
25:14Welcome back.
25:16This is the moment we've all been waiting for.
25:19The winner of the gong show with 22 points, The Lobster Repair.
25:27Thank you for being on the show.
25:36I'd like to thank our celebrities, Paul Ballantyne, Patty Andrews, Jamie Carr.
25:42Thank you, everyone, for being on the show.
25:44Welcome to the welcome of the family, of course.
25:48This is me, Fenwick Ira Singh.
25:52And then, and then, one day, and then, one day,
25:59one night, in the middle of Fenwick's performance,
26:02for several years after he'd been on the air,
26:05the king entered, and he stopped the show.
26:08He said that he no longer cared for Fenwick's program,
26:13that he was tired of laughing,
26:15and that the police should beat the c*** out of Fenwick.
26:19And call them to clink, which they did.
26:27Get off here.
26:32Now, that all took place 120 years ago.
26:36120 years ago.
26:38And that Fenwick Goddard was in jail for all 120 years.
26:42He just got released last Thursday.
26:45So here, for the moral of that fable,
26:48is the original Fenwick Goddard himself,
26:50Fenwick Goddard!
26:53Come in!
26:56Fenwick.
27:02Boy, you've changed, Fenwick.
27:05You grew up.
27:06You got a little fatter, too.
27:09You even changed color.
27:11What is the moral of this story, Fenwick?
27:14The moral of this fable is
27:17never met against the Minnesota Vikings
27:20at home in the wintertime.
27:24All right!
27:26Come on!
27:27Take me home!
27:29Hey, it's been a pleasure, folks.
27:32We really enjoy working with you.
27:34It's been two good years.
27:36I want to thank all of the MBC crew
27:38and staff, stagehands, and engineers
27:41for doing such a happy job for us.
27:44I want to thank little Bella Bella,
27:46the redhead, red row, wherever you are.
27:50Here's me, fans.
27:51See you in the movies.
27:52Come on out here, Gigi, and let's dance.
28:13Come on out here, Gigi, and let's dance.
28:33get in touch with game show network log on to our website and play our games or email us your
28:38questions and comments it's www.sony.com gameshow net
29:00you
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