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00:02Hi, I'm Orson Bean. Welcome back to The Lost Episodes.
00:05Next up is the 1953 debut of a show called Judge Fiasole, starring that great deadpan comic Fred Allen.
00:13Fred was the embodiment of sophisticated New York wit.
00:16In fact, he's the guy who said, California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an
00:20orange.
00:21And one of Fred's guests is composer Julie Stein, who gave us such memorable scores as Gypsy and Funny Girl.
00:28Let's watch.
00:43Yes, it's Fred Allen in the new Talent Sweepstakes Show.
00:47Judge for yourself.
00:54But right now, one of the best-loved figures in show business today, the star of Judge for Yourself, Mr.
01:05Fred Allen.
01:06Here he is.
01:26Thank you very much.
01:29Thank you very much, and good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
01:32Tonight, we are presenting a new television show, something we hope may be a little different.
01:38Television today really may appreciate something that's a little different because there are so many of the quiz programs giving
01:45away those giant jackpots that people are starting to hiss money.
01:51And there are so many of the panel shows that when four people sit down at the dinner table at
01:57night at home, they're afraid to start anything until John Daly gets there.
02:03And there are so many of the crime shows on television that some nights, everybody gets killed except the fellow
02:10who's doing the commercial.
02:11Of course, who should have been killed in the first place.
02:15But television set owners, ladies and gentlemen, see so much talent today that many, so much, so much entertainment, rather,
02:23that many people today imagine, they feel as though that they know more about talent than the people who are
02:30putting on the television shows.
02:32Now, how many times have you seen a talent program, and when the winner was announced, you disagreed?
02:38For example, perhaps the crooner wearing the suede cummerbund won first prize.
02:45And you probably thought that the little girl playing the musical kumquats should have won first prize.
02:52And you say to yourself, well, I certainly can judge talent better than those people can.
02:57You feel instinctively that you can judge talent, and yet you never have had an opportunity.
03:03Well, this show, Judge for Yourself, ladies and gentlemen, is going to give you this opportunity.
03:10Now, here's how it works.
03:11We have, during the program, you will see three professional acts.
03:16We have a professional, a show business panel expert, a panel of experts, show business experts.
03:24I had the words in my mouth, I just couldn't get them routine, probably.
03:30We have this panel of show business experts who are people who know talent, and people who buy and deal
03:38with talent every day in their working lives.
03:41And they are going to rate the performances of these professional acts.
03:48Now, we also, they're going to rate them one, two, three, incidentally, because we only have three acts.
03:53It would be silly to rate them one, two, three, and four if we didn't have an act to go.
03:57But we also have selected some average people who would like to try their skill at judging talent.
04:05And they also will rate these acts.
04:08And the amateur contestants who finds the same rating, in the same order, actually, as the professional experts, will win
04:19$1,000.
04:21Now, it's all very simple.
04:22All you have to do is watch the acts and judge for yourselves.
04:26Now, first, let us meet our professional experts.
04:29Radio and television editor of the Bible of show business, Variety, Judge No. 1.
04:34My name is George Rosen.
04:36Broadway producer of such great musicals as Brigadoon, One Touch of Venus, and Regina.
04:40This fall, she's bringing to Broadway a review based on sketches by James Thurber, Judge No. 2.
04:46I'm Charles Croffitt.
04:48Broadway producer of such hit shows as Hazel Flagg and Pal Joey,
04:51composer of music for High Button Shoes and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
04:55Judge No. 3.
04:56My name is Julie Stein.
04:58And that's our board of experts.
05:09Those aren't the experts who judge talent for a living.
05:12And now let us meet some folks who'd like to judge talent just for an evening.
05:17And I'd like to have you meet our first amateur judge, Miss Frances Moyner.
05:21Is that right, Miss Moyner?
05:22Now, Frances, tonight, as you know, you are here to judge talent.
05:25Do you sort of feel that you know good talent when you see it?
05:29Well, I hope so.
05:30You do, huh?
05:31Do you watch many television shows?
05:33Yes, I do.
05:34Do you see much good talent on television?
05:37Well, nowadays there's a lot of good talent.
05:38Really?
05:39Have you seen any on our show up to now tonight?
05:42On this show?
05:43Yes.
05:43As of now.
05:44Well.
05:45You're hoping.
05:46I'm hoping.
05:47But I...
05:47Tell me...
05:49You see so much talent, so much television.
05:53What are your favorite shows?
05:55Well, I like Ed Sullivan.
05:57Ed Sullivan.
05:58And Studio One.
06:00Studio One.
06:01And Fred Waring show.
06:04Fred Waring.
06:05Frances, I hope there is not an NBC vice president lurking at the theater.
06:11There may be.
06:12You have just listed three shows that are on another network.
06:17For your information, this building is not a decoy here.
06:28Haven't you ever heard of any of our NBC talent?
06:32Bob Hope, Jimmy Durante, Randy Merriman, or any of our...
06:37Well, I've heard of them.
06:39You've heard of them vaguely, huh?
06:40Well, tell me, do you watch any daytime television?
06:42Well, I really don't get the chance during the day because I'm at the hospital.
06:47At the hospital?
06:48Yes.
06:48You look the picture of health to me.
06:50What are you doing at the hospital?
06:52I'm a student nurse.
06:53Oh, a nurse.
06:54Well, Frances, this sure is a novelty.
06:56Here you are being interviewed on television, and you have a normal occupation.
07:01Just a nurse.
07:03Do you realize that if you were on...
07:05Do you realize that if you were on the Herb Shriner show, at least you would be an ostrich
07:10plucker from the Audubon Society?
07:13And the other night, Herb, a Saturday night, Herb had a contestant, a lady rainmaker, on
07:19his show.
07:21She had just become engaged, and the lady rainmaker was giving herself a shower on the program.
07:30Well, it's been very nice talking to you.
07:32I don't want to stop you from earning some money, hardly, Frances.
07:35Now, if you'll just take your seat in the judge's box, we'll show you our first act, and
07:40you can judge for yourself.
07:41All right.
07:45She was a blonde in Gentleman Prefer Blondes, a doll in Guys and Dolls, the pick of the
07:49bunch in Top Banana.
07:50She's worked in theaters and clubs all over America.
07:53Her name, Hope Zee.
07:55Watch her perform, and then judge for yourself.
08:02They say I'm crazy, got no sense, but I don't care.
08:07They may or may not mean offense, but I don't care.
08:13You see, I'm sort of independent.
08:17I am my own superintendent, and my star is on the ascendant.
08:25That's why I don't care.
08:27I don't care.
08:29I don't care what people think of me.
08:33I'm happy-go-lucky.
08:35They say that I'm lucky, contented, and care-free.
08:39Oh, I don't care.
08:42I don't care.
08:43If I do get a little stony stare.
08:46If I'm not successful, it won't be stressful, because I don't care.
08:57I want to be loved by you, just you.
09:00Nobody else but you.
09:03I want to be loved by you, alone.
09:07Boop-boop-be-doop.
09:09I want to be kissed by you, just you.
09:12Nobody else but you.
09:14I want to be kissed by you, alone.
09:19Boop-boop-be-doop.
09:20Boop-boop-be-doop.
09:24Boop-boop-be-doop.
09:41I don't care, I don't care
09:45If I do get a mean and stony stare
09:47I'll sing and I'll shout it
09:51There's no doubt about it
09:53Cause I don't care
09:58I don't care
10:16Well, very nice, Hope, thank you
10:18Now, ladies and gentlemen, I was falling asleep here
10:21I don't know, I guess it's the atmosphere, the surroundings or something
10:26Ladies and gentlemen, this is our second amateur judge, Mr. Jack Cole
10:31That's right
10:32Mr. Cole, are you ready to judge talent tonight?
10:35I think so
10:35Well, how are you on talent? Do you feel that you're a good judge?
10:39Well, I've been watching television for several years and I know what I like
10:42Oh, really?
10:43Yes
10:43Your mind is made up
10:44That's right, sir
10:45Are you liking what you've seen up to now?
10:47For the most part, yes
10:48We might have some trouble with you during the evening
10:50Tell me, are you planning to buy a color television set when they come on the market?
10:55Definitely
10:55Really?
10:56Yes, I am
10:56Well, everybody's getting set for, I don't think it's quite ready, a color yet
11:00I saw Ben Blue and he looked a little green the other day
11:04But they say that network that has the eye, they're converting the eye to color
11:09Because when the late show comes on at midnight, the eye will be showing bloodshot, you see
11:14And that way they will, uh
11:16Well, tell me, Mr. Cole, you're so enthused about that
11:21You're so enthused about, you know that other network, the one eye network
11:25Oh, yes, yes
11:25You only have to use one eye to look at it, too
11:27They're looking at you with one eye
11:30But something tells me, you're so enthused about television, Mr. Cole, that you sell television sets
11:37No, no, I'm an insurance salesman
11:39Oh, oh, how long have you been in the insurance game, Mr., it is a game, isn't it, Mr. Cole?
11:44It's a lot of fun, a lot of work, too
11:46Well, I've been with Metropolitan for about three years
11:48Metropolitan, that's the company puts those ads in the paper to help you live longer, huh?
11:52That's right
11:52So you can keep paying on the policy
11:56What did you do before you were in the insurance business?
12:01I was an undertaker
12:02An undertaker and a life insurance man
12:08Well, that's a good combination
12:10You could sell or follow a policy and then wait for them at the other end
12:15I guess that's the reason you can't take it with you
12:18You never have time to cash your policy before you go
12:21Although I did see one fellow trying to take it with him
12:23I saw right behind, in a funeral procession, a brink car right after the hurt
12:30With no success
12:31Well, thank you, Mr. Cole, it's been nice talking to you
12:35If you take your seat back on the panel, we'll show you our second act
12:38And you, too, can judge for yourself
12:40All right
12:43Their MGM records are top sellers across the nation's record counters
12:47Their appearances in America's finest nightclubs and theaters have electrified audiences
12:51Ladies and gentlemen, the inventors of the electronic harmonica
12:54The polka dots and the ritual fire dance
12:57Judge for yourself
12:59You, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too,
13:12too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too,
13:13too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too,
13:13too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too,
13:13too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too,
13:13too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too
13:32THE END
14:00THE END
14:31THE END
15:01THE END
15:11THE END
15:22THE END
15:34THE END
16:03THE END
16:29THE END
16:36THE END
17:24THE END
18:01THE END
18:23THE END
18:35THE END
19:16THE END
19:45THE END
20:13THE END
20:38THE END
20:38THE END
20:44THE END
20:45THE END
20:47THE END
20:47THE END
20:47THE END
20:47THE END
21:12Thank you, that's very nice.
21:14Well, all right, it's judging time, ladies and gentlemen.
21:17You've seen our three acts, the singer Miss Hope Zee, the polka dots and their electronic harmonicas, and Gino and
21:24Toronto, the dances.
21:25Our board of experts are rating the acts one, two, and three.
21:29And remember, if one of you amateur judges rates the acts in the same order as the professionals rate them,
21:35you will win $1,000.
21:37We'll find out now how all of our judges rate their acts, rate our acts, rather.
21:42And what's about professional judges are in, and their preferences are now being posted secretly.
21:47Three, two, one.
21:50Ready now for the votes of the amateur judges.
21:52Fred?
21:53All right, here we go.
21:54Let's find out how our amateur judges have rated the acts.
21:57Miss Moyner, in third position, which act have you placed?
22:01The polka dots.
22:02The polka dots, thank you very much.
22:03And in second position?
22:05Gina Angerano.
22:06Gina Angerano, thank you.
22:07And in first position?
22:09Hope Zee.
22:10Thank you very much.
22:11And Mr. Cole, in third position, your act?
22:14Hope Zee.
22:16And in second position, Mr. Cole?
22:18Polka dots.
22:19And in first position?
22:21Gino Angerano.
22:22Thank you very much.
22:23And Mrs. Kaufman, in third position, your first act?
22:26The polka dots.
22:27Polka dots.
22:28And your second act?
22:30Gino Angerano.
22:31And your first act?
22:33Hope Zee.
22:34And now, you're sure you're all looking at the same show?
22:41Seems to be a bit of disagreement here.
22:43Although it looks very well.
22:45It looks good to me.
22:45Well, all right.
22:46Now keep your fingers crossed, contestants,
22:48while we find out how our professionals voted.
22:52Our board of experts, George Rosen, Cheryl Crawford, and Julie Stein,
22:55have rated tonight's talent as follows.
22:58Number three, polka dots.
23:01Number two, Hope Zee.
23:04Number one, Gina Angerano.
23:10Since none of our judges matched the experts,
23:13next week, the Judge for Yourself Award is $2,000.
23:28Well, I'm terribly sorry that none of you amateur judges matched our professionals.
23:34And next week, of course, as you know, we'll have a $2,000 prize.
23:39I'm awfully sorry.
23:40Maybe if you see me later, I'll make some other arrangements under the table.
23:45But we hope you've liked the show, ladies and gentlemen.
23:48Next week, we'll be back, of course, with new professional acts,
23:52new professional judges, and new amateur judges.
23:55And if you'll tune us in, if you like the show, tell your friends.
23:59If you don't like the show, keep quiet, for goodness sake,
24:02until we get the thing fixed up.
24:05And don't forget, next Saturday night, see Herb Schreiner on that other network at 9 o'clock.
24:12And see us next Tuesday night, and Judge for Yourself.
24:19Judge for Yourself is a Mark Goodson, Bill Trotman production.
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