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00:00TV, Channel 61, New England's most powerful television station.
00:07We're not bad, we're not done, but if you can say good enough, we're gonna go again!
00:13Just when you thought it was safe, it's back!
00:17The Goon Show!
00:20With celebrity judges, Marsha Warfield!
00:25John Matusak!
00:27We're gonna do it again!
00:29And Jane Wheatland!
00:33Joey Carbone!
00:36And the Goon Show Guys!
00:39And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Toast of the Hunch, Drew John Loon!
00:50Hey, welcome to the Goon Show.
00:54This is the show that separates the talented from the crazy, and then puts them all on
00:59the same show.
01:00Now, okay, here's the question.
01:01What do you do if you're sitting on a horse and you swallow a blow dryer?
01:05You come on the Gong Show as a whistling cowboy!
01:08Ha ha ha ha!
01:10Here he is!
01:11You come on the grill!
01:13You come on theüğe!
01:24Good!
01:28Thank you!
01:32You come on the sitzt!
01:34Come on, ready?
01:34Go on!вид
01:37attendent of the guitar! You
01:39come on! They
01:40play against the ball! I
01:40say Ru-jo! And
01:40Go on!
01:41With Annie money!
01:49Oh, my God.
02:27Well, I think they really like this act.
02:29I hope so. I hope so. I've been working at it.
02:32The Whistling Cowboy. Now, do you have a name?
02:34I'm the Whistling Cowboy. Ed Gray, the Whistling Cowboy.
02:36Ed Gray, the Whistling Cowboy. What do you use to wet your whistle there, Ed?
02:38Uh, not very much. Maybe a little water or whatever.
02:41Yeah, yeah. Okay. Kind of a clean act. That's good.
02:44Does your wife like this act?
02:47I don't have a wife, but all the girls do.
02:49Oh, yeah.
02:51Kind of a lonesome cowboy we got here.
02:53All right. Let's check out some scores here from our celebrity panel now.
02:57They can score you anywhere between zero and ten, all right?
02:59We start out with Marsha Warfield. How'd you like the Whistling Cowboy?
03:03I like them a lot, and I love that shirt. Kind of matches mine. Give him a nine.
03:08Yeah, that's a nine. That's it. That's very nice. Now, John Matuzak.
03:15I really like that shirt as well, and his whistling was impeccable. I bet he can do the high and
03:21mighty very well.
03:23You've tried that?
03:248.9, which could be a nine.
03:27An eight.
03:28Another an eight from John Matuzak. There it is.
03:318.9.
03:32Okay, now, Jane may want you actually on her new album. You never know here. We'll find out.
03:37A little background. Jane?
03:38Well, Don, I don't know if you know this, but I am partial to cowboys, and I gave him an
03:43eight.
03:43Yeah, look at her outfit. Check out her outfit. You see, she's kind of got her cowboy outfit on.
03:48What do you normally do?
03:49I'm a retired girl.
03:50What do you normally do? Are you actually a cowboy?
03:52I'm retired. No, I'm doing this as an extra. This is my new career.
03:57Oh, really? You're on your way.
03:58I not only do this, but I also work as an extra in the movies, too.
04:02As a cowboy, probably?
04:03No, everything. Anything I can do.
04:04Yeah, okay.
04:05Sure.
04:05Real good. This is the beginning of it all. Let's recap these scores here and see how you did.
04:10First of all, from Marsha, you got a nine. Then John gives you an eight.
04:14And from Jane, you got another eight, because she likes cowboys.
04:18Well, when you add all that up, it's a 25 for the Whistlin' Cowboy.
04:22So we'll see you later on. Thank you.
04:28Now, our next act is a Latin singer who has had such hits as
04:32E Pluribus Unum and the ever-popular Habeas Corpus.
04:37It's a good Latin singer.
04:38He's hoping that his career will turn around if he sings one in English.
04:42From Honduras, it's Ron Rivera.
04:56Maybe I didn't miss you, but as good as I may have.
05:11Maybe I didn't know you, but as good as I may have.
05:26I don't think I forgot and say.
05:34I guess I never took the time.
05:43You will always hold my mind.
05:49You will always hold my mind.
05:55You will always hold my mind.
05:57I don't know, Ron.
06:02Maybe you should have had a voice teacher on your mind, you know?
06:05No, that was, no, I loved it.
06:07You, you know, you own the stage.
06:10You know that?
06:10I do, I do own the stage.
06:12Yeah, you own the stage.
06:12Yeah.
06:13You got a lot of confidence.
06:14I love the way you approach this.
06:17Okay, you kind of got gang-gonged.
06:18Anybody special want to take responsibility for this one, for Ron?
06:22Julio, he ain't.
06:23Yeah, yeah, Julio.
06:25Julio, you ain't, but you're on your way, I'll bet.
06:27Here, no, just take my hand.
06:28There you go.
06:30Just over there.
06:30There you go.
06:31Okay, a big question that a lot of us are wondering is,
06:37what happens when you put a balloon and a kazoo inside a shoe?
06:41Weren't you, huh?
06:42Well, your guess is as good as mine when we return on The Kong Show.
07:05In case you haven't heard the news,
07:12The taste of Hershey's chocolate milk now comes in a mix.
07:16Introducing rich, chocolatey Hershey's chocolate milk mix.
07:20It's me.
07:23Why chew gum with sugar?
07:25I get all the flavor I want with carefree sugarless gum.
07:29Get full flavor, get it all feelin' carefree.
07:35Carefree sugarless gum.
07:37The full flavor's carefree.
07:40All the flavor, none of the sugar.
07:43Feelin', feelin' carefree.
07:46Feelin', carefree.
07:48Ooh, ooh, ooh, feelin', oh, feelin' carefree.
07:52Ooh, ooh, feelin' carefree.
07:54Yes, it's the Toys for Adults show.
07:57See beautiful boats and exotic cars.
07:59Some cars I've never seen before in my life.
08:01Pick out your new fur.
08:02Mink, mink.
08:03Exciting sports toys, the latest in model trains,
08:06high-tech electronics, glamorous jewelry, much, much more,
08:09and it's all for sale.
08:11I wish I could have it all.
08:13This is the one to see.
08:14The Senvest Companies present the Toys for Adults show and sale
08:18Friday through Sunday, October 7th, 8th, and 9th
08:20at the Hartford Civic Center.
08:24Imagine getting a chance to go on a wild shopping spree
08:27in a fantastic toy store,
08:28and then take everything home absolutely free.
08:32Two lucky winners will have 61 seconds to load up on prizes
08:35at a Toys R Us store.
08:36100 second-place winners will get $10 gift certificates
08:39to Toys R Us.
08:40Just tune in and write down the four cartoon characters
08:42which form Channel 61's Cartoon Cut-Up.
08:45Send us their names on a postcard with your name and address
08:47to Cartoon Cut-Up, WTIC-TV, Hartford 06103.
08:51Hurry! Contest ends October 28th.
09:02Well, this, of course, is what makes this job so wonderful.
09:05Every once in a while, I have the opportunity to introduce you
09:08to an act that is so spectacular
09:11that it will change the face of show business for years to come.
09:15But for now, let me introduce you
09:19to George and Pat Bryant's face.
09:26Well, they call it that good old Mountain Dew
09:29And the nights refuse it a few
09:32If you hush up your mug, they'll fill up your jug
09:36With that good old Mountain Dew
09:39Down the road here from me, there's an old holly tree
09:43Where you lay down a dollar and two
09:46Yee-hoo!
09:47Go round the bend and come back again
09:50With a jug for that good old Mountain Dew
09:54Well, they call it that good old Mountain Dew
09:57And the nights refuse it a few
10:01If you hush up your mug, they'll fill up your jug
10:05With that good old Mountain Dew
10:08Now, my straw, the bill's got him still on the hill
10:12Where he runs off a gallon or two
10:15Yee-hoo!
10:15And the buzzer through the sky
10:17Gets a grunt, they can't lie
10:19Smellin' that good old Mountain Dew
10:22Well, they call it that good old Mountain Dew
10:26And the night refuse it a few
10:30If you hush up your mug, they'll fill up your jug
10:34With that good old Mountain Dew
10:36I said that good old Mountain Dew
10:48Come on over here a little bit more, there you go
10:50And come on in here, it's Mr. and Mrs., is it not?
10:53Yes, sir.
10:53Now, how long have you guys been married?
10:55Five years.
10:56Five years, so kind of almost newlyweds, yeah.
10:59Did this little instrument here have anything to do
11:01With the way you guys met?
11:03Well, kind of.
11:04George bought it for me for my birthday last year.
11:07Oh, really?
11:08Mm-hmm.
11:08We met at a resort.
11:10My daughter introduced us.
11:11I liked them so much, and they took them home.
11:14Great.
11:15All right.
11:16Well, what a story of courtship.
11:18That's very, very nice.
11:19I like this act.
11:20Let's see how you did here with our celebrity panel.
11:22First of all, Marsha.
11:23Well, you know, he's got a guitar, and she's got a thing.
11:28Yeah.
11:28A thing.
11:29I think that's a little discriminating, but I gave him a six.
11:33All right.
11:33Now, what do we...
11:35Wait a minute.
11:35Let me find out what that thing is called.
11:36What do you call it?
11:37It's called a stump fiddle.
11:38A stump fiddle?
11:40Okay.
11:40That's a stump fiddle, Marsha.
11:42Well, thanks for clearing that up.
11:43Yeah.
11:43Okay.
11:44All right.
11:45Now, John Matusak.
11:47Well, I really like their style, and I'd like to say that they had two very good moments.
11:54Before they started, and after they finished.
11:57Well, I gave him a seven.
11:58Whoa, a seven.
11:59That's good.
11:59That's good.
12:01Okay, Jane.
12:01I guess I'm the only judge that noticed that we have Kenny Rogers right here on stage
12:07with us.
12:07Yeah, there he is.
12:08Kenny, what are you doing on the golf show?
12:11I had to give you a nine.
12:12All right.
12:13A nine.
12:13Those are great scores for Mountain Dew.
12:15Now, let's recap these scores here and see exactly how you did.
12:18Marsha Warfield from Night Court gives you a six.
12:21Okay, then John Matusak with a score of seven.
12:24And Jane, who always likes new types of music, and this is a brand new look, I would say,
12:28gives you a nine also for a grand total of 22, so we'll see you later on in the show.
12:33Mountain Dew.
12:34Yeah.
12:38Michael Jackson.
12:40Now, he's really been a great force in shaping entertainment.
12:43Everybody has to agree with that.
12:44Even Michael himself would have to admit that this next dancer has bought
12:48all of his videos.
12:49Please welcome, Wizard Ron.
12:53Yeah.
12:58I'm in the world with me.
13:02I just can't find the thing.
13:06Right, right, right.
13:07Yeah.
13:08I was never bad.
13:10Right, right.
13:12Ooh.
13:14I just can't find my thing.
13:16Right, right.
13:16Right, right.
14:16I see that you've got, this is one of Michael Jackson's jackets, and Michael Jackson is probably just a little
14:21taller, or shorter, so you're showing a little more than he usually does.
14:25Yeah, I'm a popper.
14:27Yeah, you...
14:27Pop like a popper.
14:28Yeah, this is great.
14:29Are you a big fan of Michael Jackson?
14:30Yeah, I like his music.
14:32I like his dancing.
14:33Yeah.
14:33But I have my own style.
14:35Yeah, well, but you got it down pretty well, no doubt about it.
14:37Marcia, did you like this?
14:38Oh, yeah, I make all my boyfriends do those moves every morning before they get up.
14:44I give him a 10.
14:45All right.
14:48Okay, now, John Matuzak.
14:51Anybody who has that much fun touching himself can't be all bad.
14:56Eight.
14:57Give him an eight.
14:59We've got an eight.
15:00Jane?
15:01The part that I like the best was the cartwheels and the flips, but I hope you don't try and
15:06do that in the disco, because that could be dangerous.
15:08Uh-huh.
15:08I gave you a nine.
15:09Boy, always...
15:10He's always looking out for the health and safety of our performers.
15:13We appreciate that.
15:15All right, let's recap these scores and see how you did now.
15:17Here it is.
15:18It's Marcia with a 10.
15:20John Matuzak thought you should have an eight this time.
15:22You got a nine from Jane, so we had all of those together.
15:25We're talking about a total of 27 for the wizard, Ron.
15:29Thank you, wizard.
15:36Now, this next act looks like a skydiver who crashed through a kid's birthday party.
15:41I'm serious.
15:41You'll know exactly what I mean when you see this act.
15:44They didn't know what to do with him, so someone said,
15:46why not send him over to the gong show?
15:48So, of course, they did, and he's here.
15:50Please welcome Roger Scholl, the balloon man.
15:59Hi, how's everybody doing?
16:00Let's have some fun with balloonery buffoonery.
16:04We have...
16:04What do we have here?
16:05Also, a.k.a. Dr. Clown, by the way,
16:08this is a octopus, and he has had a little problem.
16:11He has lost two of his tentacles.
16:14Okay.
16:21Hey, what do we have here?
16:22We have an Airedale.
16:24He loves it up in the air.
16:25Hey, hey.
16:28Hey.
16:33What do we have here?
16:34Swanee.
16:35Swanee, how I love you.
16:37How I love you, my dear little Swanee.
16:44Hey.
16:45Hey, hey, listen.
16:49Okay.
16:50Is everybody happy?
16:51That's what I want to know.
16:54Hey.
16:56How about a little five-foot-two with two kazoos?
17:00You can't beat a deal like that.
17:01Even Cal Worthy can say it.
17:04Hey.
17:09You know, this part of your nose looks like a balloon.
17:13Yeah, you're right.
17:14You got that right.
17:15Yeah, balloon.
17:16I like this act.
17:17Balloon.
17:17They don't call me old balloon nose for nothing.
17:19I have to pay him.
17:20Yeah.
17:21Here it is now.
17:22First of all, at your age, do you ever entertain at little kids' birthday parties or anything?
17:27That's exactly what I do.
17:28Yes, sir.
17:28My specialty.
17:29Yes, indeedy.
17:30Dr. Clown.
17:31How old are you?
17:32Running around.
17:32How old are you?
17:32Pushing 68.
17:34Okay.
17:34There you go.
17:34Pushing it real hard.
17:36Okay, now.
17:37You can't have some fun.
17:39I just came alive at 65.
17:41All right.
17:43Okay, let's check in with Jane, who happened to gong you this time.
17:46Actually, you got a jump gong.
17:48I don't know if you noticed that.
17:49You don't see many of those.
17:50Jane?
17:50I, yeah, I gonged him very enthusiastically because I kind of loved him and kind of hated
17:56him.
17:56Yeah.
17:57She liked you.
17:57You know that.
17:58She liked you.
17:58Yeah.
18:00Okay.
18:00Yeah.
18:00Yeah.
18:01See you there.
18:02Dr. Balloon, everybody.
18:03Now, don't go away because the gong show continues in just a minute or so.
18:07See you there.
18:14I'm Cy Sperling, president of the Hair Club for Men.
18:16And these are just a few of the men who called our toll-free number for our booklet about
18:22thinning hair.
18:23This is the booklet that tells you what you need to know about every hair replacement method
18:28available.
18:29It discusses everything from toupees and wigs to transplants and weaves.
18:34And it even has a section on the realities and misconceptions of minoxidil.
18:40Just call our toll-free number now and I'll send you our new updated edition, which includes
18:45a whole new series of before and after photos like these.
18:48These men are actual clients and not models.
18:51They're men like you who discovered that you don't need drugs or chemicals, surgery or
18:56miracles to have a full head of hair.
18:59To get all the facts free and without obligation, just call our toll-free number now and I'll
19:04send you the new booklet.
19:05And remember, I'm not only the hair club president, but I'm also a client.
19:13Good morning, Blue Cross and Blue Shield.
19:15How may I help you?
19:16There's a new spirit at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Connecticut.
19:19It's touching all of us, from the mailroom to the boardroom, renewing our commitment to
19:24providing you quality customer service, a team effort, a collective vision solely focused
19:30on giving our nearly one and a half million members our best, our personal best.
19:34It's a spirit dedicated to service, a spirit dedicated to you.
19:39Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Connecticut.
19:41Service.
19:42Plain and simple.
19:43On Family Ties.
19:45You still alive?
19:46A long-lost blues brother pays Alex a visit.
19:49I think of a tune, too, huh?
19:50I don't want to get mad when Bobby don't breathe.
19:52If you're going to sing, I'm going to leave.
19:53When it comes to the blues, everybody wants to get into the act.
19:57Thank you, Lead Belly.
19:58Keith, hello.
19:59Almost everybody.
20:00Alex, having you as a brother is all I need to know about the blues.
20:03Next time.
20:04If you don't sing tonight.
20:06On Family Ties.
20:07I will.
20:08Keith, you find dirty.
20:10Tonight at 7 on WTIC-TV, Channel 61.
20:14A member of our studio audience will receive, from Plain Westinghouse exclusive Space Mates
20:18Laundry Pair, full-size stackable washer and dryer installed in 27 inches,
20:22front-loading washer uses less water, detergent, and bleach than top-loaders.
20:32Well, our next act doesn't want to take a rap for drugs, so he's going to do a rap against
20:38drugs.
20:38Good idea.
20:39Please welcome the beat of Andre D.
21:11Another kid didn't make it home from school.
21:13Another child gone seems no big deal.
21:15Unless it's your kid, then the problem is real.
21:17There were thousands of kids recording missing last year.
21:20How are we going to stop the poor mother's tears?
21:22I'm going to do my part.
21:23I'm educating a few.
21:24Listen up, kids.
21:25This one's for you.
21:35They try to pick you up, saying you look tired.
21:37But deep down, you know you shouldn't take that ride.
21:40Just say no.
21:42Just say no.
21:44They say, it's okay, kid.
21:45Everything is cool.
21:46Your mom said for me to pick you up at school.
21:48Now, how will you know what they're saying is true?
21:50Well, that's not what your mom said to you.
21:53Don't be smart at school when you're in class and out.
21:55Someone tries to pick you up, run fast, and shout.
21:58Just say no.
21:59Then go.
22:00Just say no.
22:01They say, come with me.
22:03Don't make a fuss.
22:04Don't I got a face that you can't trust?
22:06Well, that may be true.
22:07They may look well.
22:09But do yourself a favor.
22:10Run and tell.
22:11Now, if you'll pay me no mind and go with someone like that,
22:13I promise it'll be a day you'll always regret.
22:15But when they open the door and you get in,
22:18that's when your worst nightmare begins.
22:20Gonna try and tell you things that just ain't true.
22:22Listen up.
22:23Kiss to what I'm telling you.
22:24Just say no.
22:26Then go.
22:27Just say no.
22:31All right.
22:33There you go.
22:34That was great.
22:36Here he is, Andre D and his security guard.
22:39Yeah.
22:40Real well done.
22:41Now, I like the part where you said,
22:42don't I have a face that you can trust?
22:44I think you do.
22:47You believe in this message.
22:48I believe wholeheartedly in this message.
22:50Oh, good.
22:55Nice to have you on the show.
22:56Let's see what the celebrity panel does for you here.
22:59First of all, Marcia.
23:00I say keep on rapping.
23:04Yeah.
23:04All right.
23:05Well done, Sam.
23:06Well done.
23:08Okay, now, John Matusak.
23:11These cats aren't just jumping on the bandwagon.
23:14They mean what they say, and it's in their eyes and in their moves, and I dig it.
23:18I give them a 10, too.
23:19Okay.
23:24Okay, now we move on down to the panel to Jane and see how we do.
23:27Just say 10.
23:28Just say 10.
23:30Good idea.
23:33Okay, let's...
23:34Yeah, huh?
23:35My best friend in the whole world, MC2.
23:38Yo.
23:39Welcome.
23:41Okay, let's recap these scores now and see how you did.
23:44All right?
23:44First of all, Marcia gives you a 10.
23:46These aren't going to be too hard to add up, are they?
23:48From John, you got a 10.
23:50Jane Whelan with a 10.
23:52A total of 30 points.
23:53So we'll see you.
23:56Yeah.
23:57Okay.
24:00Well, we'll be right back with our big winners right after this.
24:09What burns calories faster than jogging?
24:12What's better than cycling?
24:13What's the number one fitness exercise in the world?
24:17It's cross-country skiing.
24:20Now, there's a cross-country skiing simulator that firms and tones the entire body
24:24and puts total fitness in easy reach of everyone.
24:27It's called Easy Glider.
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24:38and lose weight aerobically.
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24:42Set the tension control for desired resistance.
24:44And you're off on a road to fitness as invigorating as a cross-country run.
24:48With Easy Glider, you can burn up to 360 calories per workout.
24:52And you'll feel great.
24:54Your reward is total fitness, improved endurance and energy,
24:57weight loss, superior toning of chest, arms and back, calves, thighs and buttocks.
25:01The smooth, fluid gliding action means there's none of jogging shocks or injuries.
25:05And unlike exercise bikes or jogging, all major muscles get an efficient workout.
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25:17Other ski simulators give your wallet a workout because they cost as much as $500.
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26:07I'm Larry.
26:08This is my brother, Daryl.
26:10This is my other brother, Daryl.
26:11Are you here for the wedding or the septic tank?
26:15The honor of your presence is requested.
26:17Who's getting married?
26:18It's a bride and drool.
26:20At the comedy event of the calendar year.
26:22When marriage is permanent?
26:23No, it isn't.
26:25What is it?
26:25Just something that guarantees male children.
26:29On New Hearts.
26:30Dearly beloved.
26:33Tonight at 7.30 on Channel 61 WTIC-TV.
26:42All right, well, time to get us going here and pick our winner.
26:45Oh, do I still have this on?
26:48I had no idea.
26:50Okay, so our celebrity guest this week, of course, Marsha Warfield from Night Court.
26:53John Matuszak.
26:54Right over here.
26:56Jane Whedland.
26:58We've got a check for $701.
27:00We've got this incredible gong show trophy.
27:03Thank you to Joey Carbone.
27:05The music was great on this show.
27:07Yeah!
27:09All of the contestants who were part of this, thank you.
27:11We can only have one winner, and that happens to be Andre D this time.
27:16Here you go.
27:18Whoa.
27:19Hey.
27:22Remember, Andre D has a message, too.
27:24We'll see you next time on the gong show.
27:26Give him the message, Andre.
27:28Andre.
27:29If you have a weird or unusual act and would like to be on the gong show, call 213-442
27:34-3575.
27:36Some of our departing contestants will receive salon-formulated Germac silver shampoo and conditioner,
27:42tones down brassiness, enhances shine in gray, graying, or frosted hair.
28:08Tonight at 8, Kate Nelligan teams up with veteran cop Judd Hirsch on a relentless search for her missing son
28:13in Without a Trace.
28:15Now, Janet's new job as an aerobics instructor might not work out unless she gets her boss a date with
28:20Jack on Freeze Company, next on Channel 61.
28:23No, just say no.
28:25They come to me, don't make up, bro.
28:28Don't I got a face that you can't trust?
28:30Well, that may be true.
28:31They may look swell, but do some favor.
28:33Run and tell.
28:34Ask your baby no mind and go with someone like that.
28:37I promise.
28:43Go on and smile.
28:46Go on and smile.
28:50Show me the best.
28:52Show me the best.
28:54We'll return.
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